Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction ❯ Stew ❯ Broken Dams ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer: "She's Like the Wind" is sung by Patrick Swayze and is on the "Dirty Dancing" soundtrack. Whoever it belongs to, I'm sorry, but I'm using it to more accurately depict my fic! WITH NO WRITTEN PERMISSION, EITHER! HAH!!!

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Th e door slid shut with a cold clang that resonated in the walls of the Bebop. Faye's heart continued to sink as she followed Spike around several corners until they were finally back in the 'living room.'

Spike gestured for her to sit. She did. He took the couch opposite her and sat with his legs apart, leaning down between them with his elbows resting on his knees.

This is it. What do I tell her?

Faye couldn't even bring herself to look at him. Guilt ripped and tore at her heart until she couldn't breathe, and slowly, almost painfully, burning tears blurred her vision. She slumped on the couch weakly.

If I don't love him, then why....why does this hurt so much?

Spike watched her carefully, wondering what she was thinking.

It's not like I have any control over what she does....we're not even together. We haven't shared a kiss, not one....not yet.

His chest constricted suddenly, causing him to take a sharp intake of breath.

Well, Spike, here we go. Now or never. Last chance before....you might lose her forever.

"Faye...."

She looked up into his beautiful eyes - eyes tinged with sorrow and compassion.

"I....came into the room planning to request to talk to you by yourself anyway....it's not like I was going to say, 'You can't kiss him,' because....it's not my place....and I didn't want you thinking that I think that I have any amount of control over you, because I sure as hell don't. I learned that the hard way."

He gave her a sad little grin.

Faye just laughed uneasily.

Like heck you don't.

"And...I wanted to tell you that the syndicate members are going to let Jet, Ed, and Ein go, but they want a promise of my loyalty or something. Like I'm still the best of buddies with Vicious and am going to go off tattling on them when he would kill ME before I could even get a word out."

Spike rolled his eyes.

"Apparently they're too lunk-headed to think about that."

Faye had to laugh. When Spike gave her a quizzical look, she said, "Oh, nothing, it's just that I can hear Ed screaming, 'LUNKHEAD!' repeatedly in my head."

Spike grinned.

*Oh man she's beautiful when she's like this....no acts, no front, just....Faye.*

"Anyway," he continued, dropping his voice to such a low level it made her shiver. He took a deep breath.

"The other thing I wanted to talk about with you when I saw.....Jordan-" his voice cracked.

"Excuse me," he said quickly, and coughed.

Damn. This isn't going to be as easy as I thought.

"When I saw Jordan....and you like....that.....I just....I need to tell you something. Something I haven't even confirmed in my own head. But I need to get it out."

@]----'----,----

She's like the wind through my tree

She rides the night next to me

She leads through moonlight

Only to burn me with the sun

She's taken my heart but she doesn't know what she's done....

@]----'----,----

Faye looked at him in disbelief, seeing a rare showing of his weak side, and her heart cried out in pain for him. Not for her, for once, but for him. Entirely for him. For Spike. For the man she loved. And something deep within her opened up as she sensed that now more than ever, he needed her. And she was going to be there for him no matter what. Getting up and sitting next to Spike, who now had his head in his hands, she ran her hand up and down his back reassuringly.

Spike, surprised to find that she was so close so soon, looked up into her eyes. Sensing empathy from her, he started again.

"But....before I tell you that, I'd like to tell you a story. There once was a white cat who lived a million lives and was owned by many different people, but he never really got attached to any of them. Every time he would die, he'd be reborn, and this was his curse. He went on many adventures, learned a lot in life, but it never seemed to get him anywhere because he could never find peace. Every time he died, he'd immediately return, with no rest, no friends he could keep, nothing to call his own.

One day, he met a tiger-striped cat who he fell in love with. This cat was mysterious, angelic...beautiful...."

His eyes got that far-off look Faye had only seen when she caught him alone by himself.

The look that he got when he thought of Julia.

Damn. And for a minute I actually thought he cared.

The open gates that had released her love for him now just as quickly closed.

Spike continued, "....but totally unsatisfying in a way."

Faye looked up in surprise to be met with Spike's serious gaze.

"Sure, he loved her, he had loved her for the longest time, even when he lost her...but with time, he came to realize that...that maybe it WASN'T meant to be. Because if it was, he wouldn't have left her, he wouldn't have had a hunger for something more, he wouldn't have....started to have feelings for another cat."

Okay, here we go....

"Faye, when you....I mean not that....well, I tried....okay, this isn't working."

He almost had to laugh at his conversational skills. Or lack thereof.

"Okay, think stew." Their stomachs growled instantaneously and they couldn't help but laugh.

"To make a good stew, what do you need? You need pearly white onions."

He held one hand out, cupped as if he had onions in it, and shook it with emphasis.

Faye looked at him like he was crazy. Has he lost his marbles?

"Pearly, angelic little onions, that wouldn't ever hurt a soul. Onions from heaven, even. And then you have the fiery orange carrots, the sharp, mean ones. Carrots from hell!" He stopped to bring out his other hand. Shaking violently, he continued.

"What do these things have in common? NOTHING! But you need both of them," he brought his hands together, "to make a good stew."

"Uh....huh. What about the meat? And the spices? And the broth?"

Spike stood up and stormed the floor like an over-zealous TV preacher.

"You say 'What of the meat, the spices, the broth?' But I tell you, my brothas and sistas, that these things, they don't MATTA!" he exclaimed, now holding his head in his hands.

"The great chef cooks in mysterious ways!!!"

Ohhhhhh boy. He's finally gone crazy from Jet's cooking.

"So, my point is," he said, regaining his composure, shaking his head a few times as if to clear it, and sitting down again calmly with a smirk on his face, "that one thing can't do it for you. And Julia...she was kind of like my onions. And just recently I've realized that, well, I need....carrots. You follow me?"

As bizarre as this analogy was, Faye nodded in understanding.

"I need someone who isn't a goody-goody trying to gain some self-respect by joining a big-time mafia. I need someone who is independent. I need someone who I know I can count on, someone loyal. Someone I can give comfort to, too. And I'd like to know....if....maybe....if maybe you're in need like me?"

As much as he tried to disguise the hope in his voice, Faye easily detected it.

Damn, Spike thought to himself. Why did you have to do that?!? Maybe she....she really has feelings for that guy. What's his name? Josie? Jane? Oh, yeah, JORDAN. It's only been, what, a few hours? How should I know, she just LEFT without a sound. I can't believe....it's come to this. When I saw her like that with someone else, I wanted to just....beat the living daylights out of him. I had never really taken time to think about it, but subconsciously, I guess I had always hoped that it would be ME who she falls for, ME who would help her re-discover herself, ME who would finally make her happy. And I wanted to be the first to give her a kiss since....since she awoke. Ha, and I wanted that 2,000 woolong Jet and I had wagered if one of us kissed her. But still....I think....I think my feelings are getting stronger.

He could have kicked himself.

Meanwhile, Faye was deep in thought.

So, he DOES care. But how much? He hasn't the slightest clue what I feel about him.

"Spike, I-"

He held his breath. Thoughts flooded his mind as those two little words were spoken.

What if this screws everything up? What if she wants him, not me? Or worse, ANYONE but me? She's said that before....I wouldn't be surprised if she meant it. Why would she care anyway, when I try so hard to make it seem like I don't?

"Wait!"

Spike grabbed her shoulders and turned her to him.

"Before you say anything, I...I have to be the first..."

And then, without another word, his thin lips met her lush red ones.

@]----'----,----

I feel her breath on my face

Her body close to me

Can't look in her eyes

She's out of my league

Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs

She's like the wind

I look in the mirror

And all I see

Is a young old man

With only a dream

Am I just fooling myself

That she'll stop the pain?

Living without her

I'd go insane....

@]----'----,----

Spike pulled back to look into her eyes, filled with precious tears.

@]----'----,----

I feel her breath on my face

Her body close to me

Can't look in her eyes

She's out of my league

Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs

She's like the wind...

@]----'----,----

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A/N: REVIEW! Too fast? Too weird? Too OOC? ***NOBODY*** even ONCE asked me why I had named my fic "Stew." I was really surprised. Anyway, here's the explanation. ^_- "Stew" motivational speech written and given to the PMMU by Brad Moyer, all his idea! Please tell me what you think, suggestions, complaints, wishes, and constructive criticism are ALWAYS welcome! ^_^