Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction ❯ Stew ❯ I Thought I Had Left You Behind ( Chapter 10 )

Blonde hair, long, shimmering strands of it. Like silk, so pure, so golden.

They could only belong to one person.

"Julia?" Spike called out blindly. The white light blinded him and soon he found himself tangled in a sea of soft waves of hay-colored hair.

A face appeared. HER face. That beautiful face that had grazed digital advertisements all over the net not more than 10 years ago.

The face he had gazed into for so long with his heart swelled with love. A positively lovely face that served as a harbor to her sparkling eyes, always sad. And those lips, those lips he had kissed so ferverently so often.....all so close.....

She walked closer, enough for him to see she was clothed in the black PVC outfit she always wore. It hugged every curve and nearly made his mouth water. Three years ago it would have been on the floor by now.

That wasn't the case.

She was now only a foot from him, gazing at him with the saddest look on her face he'd ever seen. After a tense few minutes, she finally spoke.

"Spike..."

She was absolutely gorgeous, radiant in her melancholy. Spike felt his earlier bitterness and doubt fading as the old feelings stirred up again.

"Julia," he whispered, cupping her face in his hands. Her skin was so smooth, so tender....

"Spike, you betrayed me."

Her eyes shimmered with moisture and became slits of dark blue as she tried not to let the tears fall. Her red lips quivered.

"I thought you loved me. I always loved you, Spike....what happened? Am I not good enough for you any more? You told me you'd protect me from Vicious, from the world, and then you just left."

Spike breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she doesn't know....

A tear rolled down her cheek. "And you....you.....with another woman."

He froze, his heart suddenly crumbling in on itself. He struggled to breathe.

"Julia, I loved you. I did, I swear. I think....I still do...." He leaned forward to kiss her - her overwhelming prescence and smell was just too much.

She pulled away before contact, staring at him with hurt eyes. "How could you? After all we've been through, everything we've done for each other, all the secret dates late at night, everything! How COULD you? I was completely loyal -"

"Until Viscious."

She fell silent.

"That was different," she whispered. "You know it was."

Spike instantly regretted bringing that up. Her most sensitive spot, the only area in which she was completely and ridicoulously vulnerable.

"He would have killed you if I didn't."

"That's not the point. I had left, and then you started developing feelings for him. Even if it WAS gradual, you did....and THAT is no different than what is happening now."

"But...." she squeaked. "I....never stopped. I loved you more, I always have. Your love can never compare to mine."

She looked at him squarely. "You said you think you still love me. Well....DO you? Do you honestly think you do? Do you think it'll ever be the same again, do you think we'll still get married and have children together, do you think I'll ever get out of this life?"

He couldn't answer. His entire body was shaking, he fought to keep control.

"I....I...."

But she was gone. Just an ocean of golden hair again, whispering past memories to him.

"Julia?" he asked, alarmed, his eyes wide.

"JULIA? .....JULIA!!!!"

He clutched his head in his hands as tears threatened to fall.

Finding her way back to the light, Julia heard his anguished cries.....and let them fall.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Faye carefully set breakfast out onto the table, steaming hot and smelling delicious. Jet was repairing something on the Hammerhead, Ed was hacking, and Ein was playfully batting at Faye's apron strings.

She just put up with it with a smile, giving him scraps of extra sausage and eggs.

What the heck happened to her? Jet thought, bewildered, as he came into the room and sat down at the table. He took a sip of orange juice.

"Wow, Faye, what's gotten into you? You never did anything like this before....well, you never do anything."

"I just got tired of your rotten cooking," she replied with a grin.

Wow....no snappy comeback, Jet marveled.

"Someone's in a good mood this morning."

"Yeah, well....I slept well." She smirked privately to herself.

"SPIKE!!! ED!!! BREAKFAST!!!"

Jet winced at her voice and dove into his eggs, devouring them quickly without even chewing them. Ed bounced into her chair delightedly and 'ooh'ed and 'ahh'ed over Faye's "Extra-Super Fancy Wonderful Fantasmic Ultra Deluxe Breakfast," then started hacking into her hashbrown.

Spike emerged from his room a few minutes later, his hand on his shoulder. He rolled his neck and sat down quietly, his eyes dull.

"Hey, Spike, you okay?" Jet asked.

"Eh....I had a bad dream, that's all."

Faye took off her apron and sat down across from Spike.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said quietly, wondering if maybe he was upset about what had happened the night before.

"Ah, well, it's nothing."

Spike picked at his plate before finally managing to eat his buttered biscuit. His stomach growled, but he was too weak to pick up the fork. It seemed everything was heavier and more difficult to do now. He groaned, then, with conscious effort, got up and walked outside.

Faye followed.

"That was delicious!" Ed exclaimed, clapping her hands enthusiastically.

"I agree," Jet said with a smile, then took Spike's plate and dumped the contents onto his.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ < p>"Wait! Spike!" Faye ran up along side him, very concerned.

Spike stopped and waited for her to catch up.

"Hey....did you get a haircut?"

He moaned.

"Spike, what's wrong?" she asked softly, standing in front of him. He looked at her blankly.

"I just....need some time alone."
".....oh.....well.....tell me this. Is it me? Did I do something?"

Spike gave her a crooked grin. "No, it's not you." He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, an odd look in his eyes. It looked like sadness.

"Then....then why'd you have bad dream?"

He flinched, then dropped his hand. She could see the pain in his face.

"Oh. I see. Well....I'm sorry," she whispered, and allowed a few tears to drop. Spike's whole demeanor softened and became more human. He took a lock of her dark violet hair and breathed it in, then gently brushed her lips with his.

"I should go."

He walked slowly, weakly, into the blurry horizon. The sun caused waves of heat to blur his body as he got smaller and smaller.

Faye stared after him, shaken. For some inexplicable reason, what they had just gone through.... felt like closure.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~

"Hey, old man," Spike greeted when he opened the man's door.

"I want my pictures."

"Oh, yes, of course."

The old-timer gave him a sly look as he handed the pictures to him. Spike noticed the duck was covered in green again.

"Thanks....I'll be going now...." he headed for the door and walked right into the wall, leaving a very confused man standing in the doorway.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~

It was darker now. Safer.

He sat in the shade of a particularly large cactus and looked over the pictures for what seemed like the millionth time.

The first 14 were a little messed up due to how long ago they had been taken. They were of different cities, ancient metropolitan networks of which nothing remained now, probably taken by a tourist.

Then there were his pictures. THEIR pictures.

There was the sideways one of Faye he had pretended to accidentally take, the one where she had surprised him, one where she was standing behind him (he was seated) and had her arms around his neck, a few ones where Spike had messed them up because he made both of them laugh, and one where he had tickled her to the ground.

His favorites were the first two. They were all wonderful and made him smile involutarily, but still, he felt as if he had his heart in a vice.

Great timing, Spike. Everything was going right. You really like her, don't you? What's wrong with you?

He shook his head, more than sad - nothing short of crushed.

It wasn't even like Julia was THERE....he didn't have to choose between them or anything, and he probably had ruined any chance of even getting either of them back.

Damn. Why do I do this to myself?

He got up and dusted himself off, then walked the remaining mile to the Bebop. The desert cliffs were beautiful now, tinted in much the same way they were when he had taken Faye's hand in his yesterday. He shook that thought out of his head and snuck quietly into the garage from the back so no one would see him, then climbed into the cockpit of the Swordfish II. He opened the back doors of the Bebop with a little automatic controller Ed had made, then started up his ship.

The picture of Faye became wet as he blasted off, leaving Earth behind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~

A/N: I just got my PSAT scores! I got a 1240 -.- That's good enough for me, since I'm a sophomore, but I went over my test and I had actually had the right answers figured out on at least five of them, but apparently, I had written down the wrong letter. I could've had almost 1300! *sighs* Ah, well. About the chapter: CONFLICT! ^_^ Hey, you know it was bound to happen sooner or later....=( And I'm just as crushed as the rest of you about that, but hey, it's necessary! ^_- At least in my story.