Crossover Fan Fiction / Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Chaos was Here ❯ Part 6 ( Chapter 6 )

WTF (a.k.a. The Chaos was Here...)

an INSANE Humor/Parody fic by TheFellow3J

 

Disclaimer: I don't own shit.

 

Warning: This fic features all kinds of shit not meant for little punk ass children, like cursing, OOC-ness, cursing, Lesbos, cursing, a slut auction, and Chucky, among MANY other things. If you've EVER seen “Tails Gets Twisted...” well, know that this piece of shit ain't nothing like it...

 

Starring Kirby, Conker the Squirrel and Link

 

Part 6

 

Lindblum. Everything was normal.

 

Kattelox Island. Sakura and Tomoyo were busy kissing each other. Timidly. Flowers just seemed to pop out of the ground, followed by a bunch of plants, and plenty of terannas. That's a “termite-piranna.” Conker: “Oh. A land-based piranna. Fuck.” Link: “RUN!” No second later, they were all on quad bikes, heading for a ruin. Onboard the Gesselshaft, ten Servebots were trying to snipe the heroes. They put six bullets in the Flutter. Mega: “Oh HELL NAH! That's it!” Megaman walked outside and put TWO SHINING LASERS at the ready. Kirby saw him. Kirby: “Prepare for an earthquake guys! That green ship's going down!” Link: “We had better get to the nearby city then.” Behind them, the forests were getting mowed down by unseen forces. Conker: “Yeah. The terannas are too small to see. Duh...”

They got to the town. Everything was normal... Conker: “Hey, everything really IS normal.” Link: “Perhaps the most out-of-place occurrence in this story.” Kirby: “I thought we were heading for a ruin!” You're right. So now they were in a ruin. ...hell NO... not on Kattelox island! You know better by now. Rouge: “Then where!?” Good question. Too many fucking ruins in the Aniverse... try

 

The Ruins of Ruin. Link: “I have not heard of such a place.” It doesn't exist. I'm just fucking with you.

 

A Graveyard. Conker: “Boring... there's no one here.” Suddenly, everyone immediately gets lifted off the ground and flies Matrix-Style over to Goldwood. (A planet in the Gemini system. Jet Force Gemini knows about it.) A HUGE space fight was going on. On the ground, Tribals were scurrying everywhere to avoid falling Chibi-Usa bodies. Kirby: “So many... must... get... them... all...” Kirby runs off with a modified vaccum hose. Washu (from FAR FAR away): “I'm the greatest! WHAT THE..!” The Fairy Godmother had begun attacking Tenchi and the crew, who were having a vacation in FAR FAR away. Conker: “What the hell? Shrek 2?” Rouge: “OW!” Tails: “What! What happened?” Absolutely nothing. The bitch just wanted your attention. Rouge: “OK, that DOES it!” She leaves the area again. Conker pulled a move like Vice from King of Fighters and slammed Rouge to the ground. Conker: “Stay put.” Rouge was too shocked and hurt to move.

Link: “Hmmm... it seems that the three Cardcaptor girls are missing in the plot.” Someone around here is learning... as a reward, Zelda runs out of nowhere, then Link and Zelda disappear. Kirby came back with a big-ass smile on his face and three Rinis hanging off of him. Conker: “Well you had a field day...” Kirby: “These girls are soooo cuuuute...” KOS-MOS took this information in. She disappeared into the nearby Vice City.

 

Wait a minute. They were THAT close to Vice City!? Hmmm... Conker: “Something tells me we need to go hit Ammu-Nation.” Kirby: “Good idea. No telling when someone'll put that `Pedestrians...'” Too late. Soon, bullets, molotovs, and rockets were flying everywhere. Conker: “Dammit! This reminds me of that stupid war!” 500 Tediz were shooting bystanders and cars with deadly accuracy. Kirby: “Must be an elite strike force!” Conker: “Screw this...” Suddenly, Conker pulled a DualShock2 Controller from nowhere. Kirby: “What the hell are you doing with that!?” Conker: “Being prepared.” Conker entered a code. Suddenly...

Los Santos. Conker: “Good.” Kirby: “What did you just do?” Conker: “Something illegal. I infiltrated the Matrix and screwed with some XYZ coordinates. Now I can do all kinds of stuff here.” The color Green got splashed on Conker's vest, and Kirby looked like a living watermelon. Ballas were everywhere. Conker: “This is a baaaaad day...” Kirby could say nothing. KOS-MOS a.k.a. Cosmia walked through a portal. Every bit of blue on her was replaced by Kirby's normal shade of pink. Everyone froze and stared at her. Cosmia: “Kirby, do you find this acceptable?” Kirby: “HELL YAH!” Link came back. Link: “Apparently, we require a scene change.”

 

Conker, Kirby, Link, Rouge, Cosmia, Knuckles, Sakura and Meiling were traveling in Conker's ship in outer space. Kirby: “That was close. Cosmia, how did you do that?” Cosmia: “The data you've requested cannot be retrieved.” Kirby: “Why?” Cosmia: “A `NullDirectoryException' occurred while trying to access the folder `Past 5 Minutes.'” Conker: “Something deleted it?” Knuckles: “I heard you were turned into a human...” Rouge: “But you still talk like a robot!” Cosmia: “That is due to settings inside of my `Communication' preferences. These can only be changed by Kirby.” Conker: “You're one confusing girl... being able to change your exterior color, but not the way you talk...” Meiling: “This is BORING! Where' the enemies at!? I wanna whup ASS!” Sakura bent over. Meiling: “FREAK!” She grabbed a spiked club. Soo...

Sakura: “AAAAAAAH! MEILING, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!!!???” Meiling: “YOU KEEP MESSING AROUND WITH THAT DITZY BIMBO TOMOYO!!!” Kirby: “Hey Conker, this thing got popcorn? This is gonna get volatile.” Conker: “It's already ready already.” Megaman teleported into the ship. Mega: “Heard there was gonna be a chick fight. Didn't want to miss it. Besides, Roll was being a bitch about Tron screwing with her patience, and I didn't want to hear it.” Conker: “Take a seat. I guarantee it'll be quite a show.”

Meiling: “Dammit Sakura, for YEARS I've watched that bitch screw with your emotions and act like a total oblivious airhead!” Kirby: “Uh oh. This won't go smoothly.” Sakura: “How DARE you say that about Tomoyo! And I thought you always liked Syaoran!” Meiling: “HIM!? Please! I only did that to fluster you! You REALLY look cute when you get pissed.” Mega: “Can't they just have a threesome or something?” Kirby: “I wish...” Knuckles: “Then why don't you make it happen?” Kirby: “I wanna see a fight.” Mega: “YEAH! Get it on!” Conker: “Feel free to have a stark-naked match if you want. We really don't give a fuck.” Sakura was a little surprised by Meiling's words. She only pretended to hang off of Syaoran just to mess with her mind? Kirby: “I told you it wouldn't flow right.” We'll see. Chaos is just that, chaos. Meiling: “But then, after you stopped acting like you and Syaoran could have been something, and before I could get a good chance to express my feelings, you had to screw it all up with TOMOYO! That stupid, ignorant WHORE!” Conker: “Hey, I heard that calling any feminine creature a whore was like the worst thing EVER you could say to them.” Knuckles: “Even worse than calling them a bitch?” Conker: “Yep.” Knuckles: “Rouge...” Rouge: “DON'T EVEN start echidna. Don't even THINK about it. I will KILL you if you even start to say it to me.” No she won't. Rouge: “THAT'S A LIE! I WILL KILL HIM!” Anyway...

Sakura: “... ...I don't believe you.” Mega: (Hey Kirby, how desperate you think Meiling is?) Kirby: (Probably enough to kill Tomoyo, if she could get to her. I won't let her though. I got a better idea. Besides, that's too much energy to be wasted over a love-sickened gung-ho 10-year-old lesbian's anger.) Sakura: “For all this time, I thought you were totally absorbed with him, but secretly you've been in love with me, and just wanted me to keep away from Syaoran, simply because that was the expected relationship that everyone thought would happen.” Conker: “I can find at least 45 websites that claim that, and probably 75, no, 200 fanfictions too. Probably more.” Kirby: “That's nothing. I can find at least 50 sites that say it's all about Sakura and Tomoyo! Not that many fictions, though... just DAMN good ones.”

Just then, Tomoyo walked into the bridge of the ship. Knuckles: “That's weird. I thought there was only these few seats and a door in the back going outside.” Shit happens. Chaos is everywhere. See, this is why Knuckles always gets tricked. He JUST DOESN'T KNOW BETTER! Conker: “Sonic should've realized that before he... oh wait, with a girl like that, I'd be tricked too...” Kirby: “Trust me. You don't want to be tricked by Sally the Libran squirrel.” Knuckles: “WHAT!? She's a Libra!?” Link: “Kirby has a point. I begin to see some matching qualities.” Rouge: “What the hell do you guys know about Astrology?” Kirby: “What the, man, we know EVERYTHING!” Conker: “Except the future.” Meiling: “YOU... FUCK YOU, YOU PALE PIECE OF SHIT!!!” All other conversation ceased quickly, and Meiling immediately lunged for Tomoyo, with murderous intent. Sakura formed the wand and crashed it with Meiling's mid-section. It hurt like a bitch. Meiling: “OWWW! FUCK, get OUT of my WAY Sakura!” Sakura: “Tomoyo, stay in the back. This won't be pretty.” Tomoyo was speechless from seeing a good friend about to try and commit what could only look like an attempted assault. Kirby: “What the... THE TEXT JUST SAID...” Who cares? Sakura: “TOMOYO, GO!” Then Sakura summoned The Fight and the whole scene changed.

 

Now what?