Crossover Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Entrap Me ❯ Jashin vs Kami: HidanxKagome ( Chapter 9 )

Title: Jashin vs. Kami (for lack of better title)
Author: Kage Otome (Shadow Maiden on Mediaminer)
Archived: Fanfiction (dot) net and Mediaminer (dot) org
Summary:
He was determined to convert this miko that saved his life to his religion. She was just trying to avoid the crazy weirdo--who kept swinging his scythe at her--wondering what God she angered to deserve this punishment. After all it wasn’t her fault she accidentally stepped on his buried form and mistakenly took him for a dead man; coincidentally praying for his soul, only to have him shout at her that wasn’t his religion. Surely it wasn’t her fault. Nope, Kagome was convinced, this was not her fault at all. It was all that crazy psycho’s fault. And for Kami’s sake WHY did he keep swinging that scythe at her preaching about this Jashin fellow?
Rating: M
Crossover: Naruto and Inuyasha
Pairings: Hidan/Kagome
Feedback: Preferred
Beta: None
Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I own nothing except the plot.
Warning: There well be swearing, lots and lots of swearing. There are also religious stuff, nothing heavy I assure you, but brief mentions, so if that offends you, know that you have been forewarned.

Dedications: This one-shot goes to Kagome-is-Kool. Thank you for the information on Hidan! Hope you enjoy this!


*Jashin vs. Kami*
By: Kage Otome
9/30/07-10/6/07

Sweat trailed it’s way down a pale porcelain face, disappearing into a slightly bloody shirt, as the young woman silently congratulated herself for escaping from that crazed psychopath. Of course by that she meant lovely virile young gentleman, whom she somehow managed to get saddled with. Not by fault of her own of course. She had just been innocently walking through the forest on the shrine property and accidentally tripped over his face, that’s all. Kagome sighed, rubbing her head where she felt a migraine coming on. How the hell did she get into these kinds of situations? I mean did she have a giant neon sign plastered to her forehead saying, “HEY ALL MASOCHISTIC PSYCHOPATHS I’M A PERFECT VICTIM!”

“What the fuck are you doing in this fucking shit hole! I’ve been looking for you fucking everywhere!”

Leaping about three feet into the air Kagome gulped, staring into the strange violet-pink orbs, set in what would be a handsome if somewhat grumpy face. Silver hair sticking up in all directions from what must have been years of neglect, he certainly made quite the sight. Especially considering he was still covered in a fine layer of dirt and grime...and dried blood. Kagome’s only consolation was that none of her family was home at present.

“I was...um...looking for a hairbrush?”

Kagome cursed her inability to lie well.

A slender brow shot up. “What the fuck would a hairbrush be doing in a fucking well house?”

And she thought Inuyasha had a filthy mouth, he had nothing on this guy. Slender shoulders moved up and down in the motion of ‘I don’t know’. Kagome stared warily at the man who she had accidentally found. Well more specifically at the large three bladed scythe in his hand. Once again thinking back as to how she landed herself in this predicament.

Flashback

Humming a cheerful upbeat tune, Kagome meandered through the forests in the back of the shrine, positively beaming. It was a good day, she’d been home two days with no interruptions from Inuyasha, her family--who she loved dearly, were gone visiting her Aunt’s shrine across town, and she was here, at home, relaxing--and she had actually gotten a decent math score on her latest test. Yes it was a good da--Shit! Kagome’s head shot up feeling the lingering aura of...something...

Her brows drew together as her mind wandered to this energy, her body, of it’s own accord, began leading the still thinking miko towards the source of the energy. Unfortunately, the young miko, inattentive to her surroundings, didn’t notice the head sticking partially out of the ground. And thus, was completely unprepared when she tripped over said head and went flying face first into the ground. Stunned it took Kagome a few moments to reorient herself and she turned to look (and curse) at what tripped her, only to have her mouth fall open in shock.

“Wha? Is that a HEAD?” Kagome crab walked backwards silver kissed-blue eyes wide. Sure she’d seen some pretty freaky and downright odd things in Sengoku Jidai, but nothing quite like this before. Who the heck buried a body on their shrine, and not long ago considering there was no decomposition of the body yet? And, and why did they make the head stick out of the ground like that? Oh and of course the other minor details like why they (whoever they was) killed him in the first place, and who did it.

Crawling towards the body, full of apprehension, Kagome kneeled at the side of what she supposed would’ve been an attractive man, had he been alive, she prayed for the safe passage of his soul to the next world. And planned on calling the cops as soon as she got back to the house. Murmuring softly under her breath, her eyes flew open, and her mouth opened comically as the head began to talk.

“What the fuck are you muttering?”

Kagome did the only reasonable thing any person upon seeing a supposedly dead head suddenly come back to life and begin talking would do; scream bloody murder and backpedal as fast as she could, managing to kick said talking head on her way back.

“What the fuck was that for?”

End Flashback

That’s where it all went wrong. And the fact that she actually dug him out of the ground. Smacking her head against the wall of the well house at her own stupidity. What on earth had possessed her to release him? Surely it must’ve been a momentary lapse in sanity on her part. Not one minute out of the ground, hell he had still been in the ground when he had insulted her. She smacked him on the head, which of course lead him to trying to decapitate her once he was free. And then...she hid in the well house...for three hours. Man he was slow; of course he’d still been half buried in the ground.

“Yo! Are you even fucking listening?” He asked eyes narrowed with annoyance.

“What?” Kagome asked startled out of her thoughts.

“Where the fuck am I lady?”

“Kagome.”

“Kagome?” He looked confused.

“My name is Kagome. Your at Sunset Shrine.”

“Huh? What city?” Hidan asked.

“Tokyo, Japan.” He was silent. He’d never heard of Tokyo, Japan before.

“What year is it?” Kagome blinked once and then again before answering wondering how come he didn’t know what year it was, did he have amnesia or something? He was silent mumbling something, it sounded like he was praying or something. Kagome cocked her head to the side, leaning closer.

‘What’s Jashin?’

“So um...what’s your name?” Kagome asked awkwardly.

“Why the fuck do you wanna know?”

Kagome’s eyebrow twitched.

“Fine!” She snarled, “I’ll call you baka teme.”

Light violet-pink eyes narrowed with annoyance.

“Don’t fucking call me that! I’m Hidan.”

Kagome beamed, startling the Jashinist into taking an uneasy step back, unsure of the sudden shift in her mood.

“So Hidan-san,” Kagome frowned not liking the way that sounded, “Hidan, would you like to get cleaned up?”

He shrugged it’s not like he had anything else to do at the moment.

“Sure.”

----------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------

He was driving her crazy; absolutely, positively, clinically insane. Jashin-sama this, Jashin-sama that. He just never shut up. Preaching about his religion and how great Jashin-sama was. Kagome’s hands twitched. And those rituals. Kami-sama. She’d come home from the market a few days ago--and the blood, Kami the blood, splattered along the walls, the furniture, everywhere. It had taken her forever to get the blood cleaned up. And that smug, masochistic nitwit sat there, his pike in his chest, obviously enjoying the discomfort he caused her as he quickly yanked it out sending blood flying through the air. Kagome turned green.

“Wanna try?” Hidan asked a wicked gleam in his eyes, swinging his scythe around narrowly avoiding Kagome.

Kagome flew from the room faster than Hidan had ever seen her move.

He’d get her to see the greatness of Jashin yet.

------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------

Hidan was preaching about Jashin. Again. Kagome’s eyebrow twitched as she muttered something under her breath.

“What the hell is so special about Jashin.”

Hidan twitched.

“Well what’s so fucking special about your fucking Kami.” Hidan snarled.

Kagome twitched.

“I’m a miko, you dick wad, and your staying on a holy shrine, don’t you have any fucking respect, asswipe?” Kagome swore, hands fisted at her side. Obviously she’d spent too much time with Inuyasha.

“Don’t you?” Hidan shot right back.

“I respect that you have a different religion than me, I just don’t understand why the hell you would follow a religion that involves stabbing yourself, amongst other things.” Kagome frowned.

“Jashin demands it.” Hidan replied simply.

“Demands it?”

“Anything less than utter destruction is a sin.” Kagome’s eye twitched.

“What kind of demented religion is that?!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------

Oh. My. Kami.

What was she going to do?

What was she going to do?

Kagome had very nearly worked herself into a panicked frenzy. Her family was coming home tomorrow, and, and that rude, masochistic, foul-mouthed Jashin-loving nitwit, was still here. On the positive side, at least he wasn’t doing one of his rituals. Kagome shivered almost breaking out in a cold sweat at the thought of that. Alright, she needed a plan. She needed to make Hidan behave and cooperate with her. Glancing at the lazy man lounged across her bed, she groaned, burying her face in her hands. ‘Kami-sama hates me.’

Not only was he rude, he had a mouth fouler than Inuyasha and insisted on his rituals. He also took over her bed, saying it was the only comfortable one in the house--the ass. Kagome knew he did it just to make her uncomfortable. And when he walked in on her while she was in the shower... She squirted him in the face with shampoo, then stormed out of the bathroom, that is after she tripped the slow moving man, and slammed the toilet seat on his head. But he totally deserved it, the pervert. Of course then she spent the next few hours running and hiding from him and his scythe. But that ended when she smashed a pan over his head.

To be honest, Kagome thought he kind of liked getting hit by her.

Pervert.

Shaking her head, she tried to refocus on the topic of what she was going to do with him. Glaring at the sleeping male as if willing him to spontaneously combust would dissolve all her problems didn’t seem to be working. She sighed, eyes gliding over Hidan’s very male, very topless form, a blush rising to her cheeks. Well there was no denying he was one of the sexiest males she’d ever met, he sure cleaned up nicely. Her eyes widened, ‘Bad thoughts Kagome, don’t go there girl. You don’t need to be obsessing over any weird pain-loving, foul-mouthed, Jashin-worshiper who has totally kissable lips, soft looking and pink and...No he’s evil, and trying to kill you with his scythe and, and mean. Even if he does have a lickable chest, and pretty silver hair you can clutch in the middle of a steamy hot session of--ACK no. Stop. Breathe.’

Hidan cracked his eye open lazily to stare at the frustrated looking woman who--well not saved his life--but dug him out of the ground. She was something else, not many people had the guts to stand up to him. Hell she stood up to him and insulted and swore right back at him. She had a fucking colorful vocabulary when she was pissed off, not to mention she looked damn good too. Especially naked. An almost dreamy grin slipped across his face as he thought back to the shower incident. She was most certainly his type of girl, if you ignored the whole being a miko, kind, caring and other such aspects. Her temper certainly matched his and she was certainly fucking violent and destructive...well at least towards him. She certainly knew how to dish out the pain almost as well as he enjoyed taking it. Yes Kagome Higurashi was most certainly his dream girl. Now only to get her to accept Jashin.

Rubbing her temples as she sat on her desk chair, eyes closed trying to get rid of the migraine that had begun to settle, she was unprepared to come face to face with Hidan; who was quite literally right in her face. With a startled squeak Kagome promptly, and quite ungracefully fell over, landing in a heap at his feet. Raising a brow, Hidan grinned as Kagome groaned before getting up face cherry red. Hidan did so enjoy getting a rise from her, she was kinda cute when she was mad. Maybe she was right and he was masochistic. Twitching Kagome raised her hand fully prepared to smack the arrogant, smug idiot. Until he surprised her by grabbing her hand, moving faster than he normally did and planting a kiss smack dab on her unsuspecting lips.

Kagome stood in shock for a few moments as he kissed her, the little angel on her shoulder shocked speechless and the little devil on her other shoulder laughing wickedly. Rage filled her, as the flames of hell surrounded the little miko, eyes burned maniacally as her hand reached out for the lamp on her desk. Gripping it firmly she brought it down on Hidan’s head with enough force that the lamp broke over his head just as she kneed him in the groin. Hidan groaned obscenely.

“Oh Jashin-sama...”

Kagome twitched one more time before stepping over the prone form of her house guest, and leaving the room barely managing to keep from screaming and throwing a temper tantrum. Maybe she’d go to the kitchen, grab a knife and stab Hidan with it. Over and over and over again. ‘After all it wasn’t like that bastard could die anyway,’ Kagome thought with a pout, after all she’d tried. Lord did she try. Stabbing, poisoning his food, smashing his brains in with the previously mentioned pot, shoving him down the shrine steps, nothingworked.

He just wouldn’t die.

------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------

Later that evening as Kagome sat in the kitchen, still trying to figure how to make Hidan behave, she simply tilted her head as Hidan’s scythe passed her head by a few mere millimeters, already becoming accustomed to the Jashinist’s odd antics. It was almost as if he were testing her or something; she was still convinced he was a weirdo, albeit a cute weirdo. Hidan grinned leaning against the wall as she dodged him again. Yes, he was convinced, she would make a great Jashinist. She certainly seemed violent enough, why with all the times she’d tried to kill him, he just had to bring it out more.

“Hidan?”

“Hm?”

 220;My family is coming home tomorrow.” Kagome said.

Hidan frowned.

“Family?” Hidan asked eyes growing dark at the thought of Kagome being married with kids.

“Yeah, I want you to be on your best behav-”

“You didn’t tell me you were married with kids.” They spoke at the same time, one royally pissed and the other confused.

“Huh?” Kagome turned giving Hidan an odd look. “I’m not married, where the hell did you get that idea! I’m too young to be married!”

“You said your family.”

“Yeah, my mom, grandfather and brother.”

“...Oh.” Kagome smacked her head, Hidan was so, so dense! How the hell could he possibly think she was married with kids. Shaking her head she was very tempted to slam her head into the kitchen table.

“Can you please,” It killed her to say please to him, “be on your best behavior when they come home, I mean I know you told me you have nowhere to go, but please no rituals or swearing or stabbing your self or any of that. At least not while they can see you, or hear you. I mean if you want to go and do that stuff, just go into the forest or something.”

“What do I get in return?” Hidan asked light eyes gleaming.

“Erm...What do you want?” Kagome asked cautiously not liking the light that entered his eyes.

Hidan bent and whispered something in her ear, as Kagome’s face turned an interesting shade of red, almost purple, before she did slam her head into the table; multiple times. Grinning Hidan pushed her hair aside and placed rough nipping kisses on the nape of her neck just to get a rise out of her. Absently Hidan wondered what she’d be like in bed. A wicked smirk emerged on his face, perhaps he’d get to find out. He’d bet she’d be a wild cat. Kagome groaned softly, wondering for not the first time, which Kami she angered to deserve this.

“So is that a yes?”

“Fucking pervert!” Kagome sputtered eyes flashing with rage as she whirled on the smug-perverted-I’m-too-sexy-for-my-shirt-bastard. Stopping her intent to smack him on the head with that blasted pan (where the hell did she hide it anyway?) as enjoyable as that may have been there was something else he’d much rather be doing. Hidan pulled her to him and smashed his lips against hers. She fought and snarled at him for all of ten seconds, before locking slender arms around his neck and biting down on Hidan’s lip, tearing a ragged groan from his body. As Hidan pushed her against the wall, Kagome barely had time to question her sanity before her mind was filled only with the man in front of her.

‘Kami-sama help me.’

------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------
A/n: Heh. I liked this one, no there isn’t really much romance, get to know you and your feelings type of thing. But I liked it and I hope you did too. Perhaps the next one will. I know there are a few loose ends, like about how he got stuck in the hole but those of you that watch Naruto/read the manga know. And to those of you that don’t...uh, well lets just say they haven’t talked about their pasts yet and stuff like that, because they aren’t like in love, yet. ^_^ Yeah... The next one-shot is...I have no idea! It probably won’t come out as fast as this one unless I’m suddenly hit with more inspiration or ideas. But it won’t take forever either. I’m taking requests so please request away and I’ll see what I can do! Ciao!