Crossover Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Reason And Accountability ❯ RWBY: Not In Possession of all the Facts ( Chapter 1 )

ZERO

My hand was happy. A wonderful smell tickled my nose. Warm softness shifted against me and I shifted back. A happy sigh. I squeezed gently the softness in my palm. The warm muscled goodness pressed harder against me. I gripped and heard a squeak as I tightened. Coming awake to red hair and girl smell… woman smell, and she was friendly. She turned kiss me and I returned it.

“Jaune,” she whispered, flipping over to straddle me. Some intense minutes happened, very personal ones so I won’t detail that but it was everything I’d ever hoped for in my first time. And the look in her eyes was intoxicating.

“Aww. Jauney and Pyrrha finally did it,” said a cheerful voice. I turned and found a blushing pinkette and a glaring Ren.

“Sorry to wake you,” I said. My voice was higher, and apparently I speak English without an accent. Pyrrha shuddered and slowly dropped down to rest atop me. This is really nice. I can see why people get married. Also, I seem to be in RWBY, a special kind of fable hellworld with videogame physics and endless enemies and an unbeatable boss monster. I’d watched the first few seasons until it got bad.

“I love you, Pyrrha,” I said. Jaune certainly did, even if he was too shy to say so, or do what we just did.

She breathed gently atop me, cuddling. I held her under the sheets. There was a certain smell from what we just did.

“Hey Nora, can I ask you something?” I said.

“Hmm?” she said.

“Was it this good for you and Ren the first time?” I said.

She sputtered with denials.

“It was awkward,” said Ren in his clear but quiet voice.

“Most people cheer for the childhood friend. Those kinds of marriage tend to last,” I pointed out. Nora blushed red and buried herself under the covers with a meep.

“So when did you two marry?” I asked Ren.

“Two years ago. Nora is shy about it, but here we are,” he said.

“I always thought the not together-together was suspicious. It would be okay if you got yourselves a bigger bed, with curtains around it,” I suggested. “Maybe we can build a soundwall in the room.”

“That would be nice,” admitted Ren. “Better than sneaking off.”

I drifted off to sleep while Nora darted from her own bed into Ren’s. No wonder Ren always looked exhausted. (2)

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The ceiling was white. There was a repetitive beeping from my left. I stared. I felt compelled to say a famous phrase.

“Unfamiliar ceiling.” There. Every male anime fan in history knew that one. I looked around before I started testing muscles. Soreness in arms and back. Ache and tender pulling. Stitches and anesthetic and that medical tape they liked to use around IV lines. Reminded me of my first couple days after the car hit me. I lifted my other arm and stared at how skinny it was. Middle School student. Very pale. I need a mirror.

A busty bluenette arrived into my hospital room. The original naughty older sister character, Misato Katsuragi. Ah. That’s… this is bad. No wonder the unfamiliar ceiling thing. That would make me the extremely unhappy protagonist. I checked his memory. Yes, I can play the cello. His sole positive point.

“Hey, you’re awake Shinji. Good. That was quite a first showing, wasn’t it? Who knew you were a berserker?” she smiled in that wary way that didn’t reach her eyes. Misato wasn’t an idiot.

“Mother helped me. Never threaten a cub. The mama bear is fierce.” That should do it. Her eyes widened.

“What was that?” asked Misato.

“What do you think the Evangelions actually are?” I asked her, pretending it was a question.

“Alien technology,” she said.

“Alien technology which explodes in a cross shape? And has muscles under that armor? And ignores laws of physics like inertia and momentum? And makes octagonal shields rather than round ones? That isn’t natural. It isn’t science either, not even Clark’s Law science,” I pointed out.

“Shinji, maybe I should call someone,” mumbled Misato, her smile faltering and she fumbled in her purse for a phone.

“The armor is a binding, and Unit One is my mother. I can feel it when I synchronize. Want to bet the others are missing mothers? When is Asuka coming? Who’s Rei’s mother? Why does Father want to become immortal in a world where everybody gets turned into a sea of red goo?” I demanded. A nurse rushed in as my heart rate rose and injected a sedative into my IV line. I started to pass out.

“Think about it, Misato, and remember Antarctica.” She shuddered.

“I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God’s got a sick sense of humor and when I die I expect to find him laugh-ing,” I managed to sing before the drugs dropped me into unwilling sleep. (3)

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References:

2. RWBY. Rooster Teeth. Season 2, alternative. 

3. Neon Genesis Evangelion. Studio Gainax. Episode Two.