Crossover Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Reason And Accountability ❯ Bad Hosts ( Chapter 3 )

“He’s waking up,” said the speaker. The very low lights revealed another unfamiliar ceiling. This one was painted concrete. Probably Evangelion again. I flexed my arm and found I was chained down with shackles. Misato seems to have reacted as expected. And Father as well. The scenario didn’t account for me.

“Who is Rei’s guardian?” I asked. There was an uncomfortable murmur. I turned my head to the big armored mirror and the cameras mounted around the room.

“How about where she lives? Has anyone responsible been there yet since the building was damaged?” I looked around the other direction, noting the orderlies were large and humorless. I tried casting heal on myself and felt the broken bones knit quickly, along with pain from sore muscles and strained tendons heal rapidly. Oddly, my mana restored fast here. Very odd. There was a lot of mana here. This was the geofront, so maybe it was saturated with mana? It explained a lot.

“What did you just do? And who are you?” asked a speaker tinnily.

“Who is asking?”

Silence. I huffed. I sat up and looked around more. IV drips I don’t need anymore. A catheter, which was really uncomfortable. The smells in here were antiseptic. And I could feel some kind of truth serum drug from the IV line. I bent over and bit the line yanking it out of my flesh, then cast heal again.

“That’s better. Sodium pentothal, really? Is that you Ritsuko? What would your mother say?” I taunted.

“You are your father’s son,” grated the woman’s voice over the speaker. “You haven’t said who you are.”

“I am an Outside Context Problem,” I said. I read a lot of books. And my English is better than most, so I read English books too. I’d heard about Banks, and read four of his works, including Excession. I really liked how he named ships. “It’s not my fault. Blame the R.O.B.s.”

“Arroohbees?” asked the speaker. This is what happens when you specialize too much. Or your world ends in 1998, anyway.

“Think my Father, but an actual god or multidimensional being with a sadistic slash playful bent and a tendency to torment mortals using portal magic.”

“Are you saying Shinji is still in there with you?” asked the speaker.

“Just like last time. He could have benefitted from having his father around during his childhood. And a single word summons to Tokyo 3 is not exactly making up for it. He’s pretty angry. Also, I’ve told him Rei is his sister.” Shinji perked up at that from inside. “He’s totally going to show her Children of the Corn when you release him.”

Countdown to eruption in the control room in 3…2…1.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” demanded Misato’s voice over the speaker.

“Hey, Misato! I got a nice healing spell. If you clean your apartment before I get released, I’ll heal your wounds. The ones from Second Impact. Being serious here. I can totally do it. I’m like Jesus.”

“Also, did you know your ex is totally a spy for those other guys? Marduke. Them. If they attack you totally need to put on some body armor first thing. Serious here.”

“Ritsuko, if you don’t tell Misato who is in the dummy plug system I’m totally telling her you’re boning my Dad. Oops. Maybe that truth serum is still in me a bit.”

“Boning, boinking. Doing the horizontal mambo. Don’t get me wrong. He’s got good taste. But is it really healthy for you to do the guy who used to do your mom? Isn’t there some kind of syndrome for that?” I called out. The orderly answered a phone and muttered assent. He went to a cabinet and drew a syringe, then filled it carefully. He approached and my Ocato’s activated. Its in your soul, after all. That’s how Skyrim magic works. Oakskin bent the needle, and I laughed. They released gas next and the orderly looked confused before dropping. I cast heal which gave me a few more seconds to flip them off before my mana ran out and I dropped asleep again.