Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ A short Jungle visit ❯ This is it... ( Chapter 1 )

Hale sat tensely on the edge of his bed, sweat pouring down his face as the thing crawled slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly….

"AAAAA" he shouted, startling whatever it was.

"Couldn't you think of something to put on me? I mean, here I have this thing crawling up me, and you don't even know what it is!"

Turning around, I was somewhat surprised to find Hale sitting behind me. Blue fluorescent hair, true to Hale himself, with the little wisp dangling carelessly up into the air.

"Um…" I typed.

"Who are you anyway?" Hale asked me, and pointed his stubby little finger accusingly.

"Well," I stammered, fingers fervently working out the sentence, "I am… um… writing a fan fiction about you."

"Fan fiction?" he asked, in English fortunately, "What is that?"

"Well, I watched the show where you and Guu lived… er… appeared, and now I'm writing my own story based on that world."

"What?!" he shouted, annoying me slightly, "Fiction? Story? Show? What are you talking about? I don't live in some world that people can watch me! Then everyone would know about everything and…!" he stopped suddenly, surprise evident on his face. He jerked himself right up into my own face, getting far too close for comfort as he continued his rampage, "You would know about Guu! You said you know Guu! So tell me, do you know about Guu? What is Guu… please, please, please tell me tell me tell me…" he continued saying 'tell me' over and over.

My own ire rose as he wouldn't shut up, little pocks forming all around my head.

"ARG, WOULD YOU BE QUIET ALREADY!" I typed in all caps.

Stunned, he went back to his cutesy-cute self for an instant before taking on a casual smug appearance as he crossed his arms in front of him, "Hah! I knew it, you don't know anything about Guu. So who are you, really?"

Sighing heavily, I repeated myself, "I'm a writer, I'm writing a story, and you're in it, Hale."

Opening his right eye slightly, he peered at me with a disturbing glance for an instant, before he began laughing hysterically, clutching his sides.

Getting sort of angry now, I wrote, "Well, if you want me to prove it, I'll bring Guu here right now."

Hale's composure instantly changed as he straightened himself up and seriousness overtook him, "No, no, no no nonononononnononononono, that's not necessary Mr Kind Sir Man Writer Person, I'll believe you now, I'll be a good boy, I promise."

"Well, it's about time I brought her here anyway, you know, for humor's sake."

Hale gulped visibly and once again crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Bah, well, if you can…"

Guu appeared to our left, waving her arms lazily to her sides, "Hello," she said in her classic monotone.

"Hello, Guu, welcome to the fanfiction," I typed.

Hale waved and smiled at Guu, "Hello, Guu, nice to se…." I think he realized that she was here at this point… "!!!!!!!!!" Bubbles of exclamation appeared all over Hale's little body, as his head slowly cocked from side to side. Turning back to me, he pointed rudely. Turning back to Guu, he pointed rudely again.

Guu's sadistic smile appeared, and honestly, even I gulped slightly. "Hale," she said.

"Yes… um… Guu?" Hale asked, on the verge of tears.

Needless to say, I'd never actually seen Guu eat anyone before, so I can't really describe how it happened. The next thing I knew, Hale was inside Guu, and I was sitting staring around my room as it suddenly contained only Guu and I.

"Um, Guu? You know, we sort of need him around for the rest of this… he's one of the main characters," I wrote, trying not to make the situation one where she might find it amusing to eat me as well.

Guu stared at me for a minute.

Then she stared at me for another minute.

"Ok," she said, though no Hale was regurgitated.

Hmm, well, I wondered to myself, I guess I can bring out Weda to entertain myself…

"You shouldn't do that," Guu suggested, twirling around like a ballerina, her arms flapping as if there was a breeze in my room. Was there one?

"But I really wanted to meet her," my fingers spoke into the document, "I mean, it is Weda, after all."

Guu only shrugged.

Hrm, I guess I'd better listen to Guu, even if it is my own story.

"No no, it's ok, you can bring Weda here," Guu said mockingly, making me frown slightly at the insinuation.

I decided to try anyway, what was the worst that could happen?

So, the next thing I knew, Weda was siggnang on mya lapl. Er, Weda? Thanks.

fLike I said, she was sitting on my lap. I offered her the chair next to me and she readily accepted. Weda truly is beautiful! I thought to myself.

I felt a breast propped against my back, and turned to find Weda's arms wrapped around me and, well…

"Aww, thank you," she said kindly, and kissed me on the cheek. Reading further, she tapped on my LCD screen, rippling the pixels slightly. "Hmm…" she said aloud, pensively, "This line is sort of perverted," she glared at me accusingly as she read the above paragraph, then turned to Guu.

"So that's where Hale went. Guu, can you bring him back? I need to tell him something."

Guu compliantly reached deep into her mouth, and pulled out Weda's son, dripping wet, his clothes torn, and with scars and bruises all over his face and body.

"Hale!" Weda exclaimed.

"Mommy!" Hale exclaimed, "Mommy, you came for me! You saved me, thank you, mommy," he said, and proceeded to hug her, now that she unwrapped herself from me. *sigh*

Weda, however, stood up, causing Hale to miss by a foot and a half.

"Hale, we're out of alcohol! Could you be a good boy and run to the store for me?"

Suppressing a laugh, little did I know what was in store for me… oh wait, I guess I do know… er…

Hale, shocked, cried and cried before he said weakly, "But mom, we're in this guy's house, in some strange world, I don't know where to buy liquor here!"

"Besides," I pointed out through text, "the drinking laws in this city are a lot more severe than in your jungle. There's no way they'd sell him alcohol, he doesn't look even close to 14 yet! Perhaps if he went through the drive through…" I suggested.

"Well, then," Weda said, and stood up to her full height.

I noticed Guu's expression in the background, her frightening grin and half smile that told me I was in for it. If only I'd seen it coming… um… oh yeah.

The next thing I knew, Weda was raiding my refrigerator, pulling out bread, frozen foods, soy milk, and pretty much everything I had in there. Ug, no, I'm not listing that, besides, I threw it away weeks ago, I swear. The items began hitting the back wall of my kitchen, startling my kittens who began running all over my house frantically.

"Weda," I pleaded, "Please stop, I don't have any beer here!"

Weda's search continued, as she threw things haphazardly around my home. This is when Guu decided to Help her at my expense, and began spinning around furiously, creating a small vortex in the middle of my kitchen. Appliances, plates, food, scratching post, and kitties flew everywhere. Hale clung on to the entrance to the kitchen for his dear life as Guu quickly turned my home into a disaster zone. The wind's intensity made it difficult to continue typing, but I knew I had to get through the sentence or else I'd be caught in the whirlwind forever, so somehow I found the strength to persevere.

STOP! I commanded, and finally ended the thing by writing the following paragraph.

Guu slowly twirled to a stop and innocently sauntered over to Weda, shrugging her shoulders, "I guess he really doesn't have any beer, Weda," and turning to me, she put on her cutesy cute face and smiled, so I forgave her for destroying my living space.

Unfortunately for me, it wasn't over just yet. Perhaps I should have made it so, though. For now, Weda came over to me and curled aup nim ym lap again.

"Weda, plaeaese, I havvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve to type!" I typed, her buttocks resting lazily on my pelvis as she wrapped her arms around me and thrust her bosom into my face carelessly.

She peered down at me, her eyes pleading as she said, "Well, Mister. If you invite a lady to your house, you should," she placed her index finger on my lips, "always" and touched my nose "have" and my forehead "alcohol available for them." At this, she stood up and crossed her arms in front of her chest, turned her back to me, and vanished.

"Weda!" I shouted to no avail, and no matter what I typed, she would not return.

"Well, this fiction is about over," Hale said in a relieved tone, "Can I go home now?"

"Ok, Hale," I began to type, but he was already gone.

"Well, Guu, it's just you and me now," I wrote, and turned my head to Guu. Well, to where she had been. "Guu? Guu?" I said aloud.

Ah well, it was fun while it lasted…