Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Dark Sarcasm ❯ Mall Ninja ( Chapter 6 )

SIX

A few days after resolving the problem with Saki, we went on a class field trip to the Chiba U Technology center. There we got to see the electro-mechanical lab building and testing advanced robotics. The national technology center was established during the war. Due to the threat of bombs, it was moved several times. After the war it ended up developing the robots for car manufacturing and the moon landings and similar NASA missions, including to Mars. Chiba Institute of Technology is a big deal, though the campus itself is actually thirty kilometers north. This was just their show-room and museum in Chiba City.

Yesterday at dinner my sister smiled, saying that she was glad I got to meet the girl who’d brought me candy after I rescued her dog from being run over.

"What candy?" I asked her, looking up from my dinner, confused at her statement.

"Oh... umm... Didn't I tell you?" Komachi asked, embarrassed. She explained what happened while I was in the hospital. I hadn’t known that. My sister, in one of her rare blunders, hadn’t told me. That cost a lot of points, Komachi. I was still thinking about this, as I observed the robots working diligently away. Replacing Japanese workers with their high precision and high stress jobs by robots which feel nothing, neither live nor love. Merely do the job until wear-faults cause them to notify the technician they need service and calibration. Is that a metaphor for Japanese life? 

At the end of the tour, walking out of the lab trailing the noisy riajus I was thinking about obligations and feelings. My leg ached and made me limp, Yuigahama approached with a nervous smile. I remembered the cookie she’d baked me and smiled for her, which probably looks like a grimace, but the pain is distracting. She’s a nice girl. Maybe nice like that other girl. Part of me resents nice girls, but that’s only because I think they care about me, rather than just being nice to people because it is her nature as a nice girl.

“The others are going to the restaurant after this. Are you coming?” she pleaded.

“Can I tell you something about me, Yui?” I asked her. “It's personal, and will take a few minutes to explain.” I could have been a jerk and told her to leave me alone, to stop pitying me and go away. I could have been that guy, but I think I understand women better than that. The nice girls deserve courtesy. 

“Umm. Just a second. I’ll be right back.” She tottered off, bouncing as she does, and talked to Miura who made a face, glared a warning at me, and shooed Yui back. Miura grabbed Hayama’s unwilling arm to drag him and their crew of idiots to some restaurant to gorge themselves and be loud. I’m kind of impressed Yui is turning down her usual scene, but cookies aren’t her usual scene either. And she’s been working on that since then.

“So what do you want to talk about?” she asked me. I led her to a padded bench to rest, and looked out the cleaned glass windows to the blustery Chiba day.

“Before I rescued your dog, I was in middle school and I fell for a girl. She was nice, and I was naïve. I didn’t understand that she was nice to everyone so I worked up the nerve to confess my feelings and she turned me down. Things got bad after that. Her friends didn’t like me, and they made my life hell for the rest of the year. I had no friends, and everybody hated me, and no teachers would stop the bullying. I came here to Soubu to get away from them and start over. But I broke my leg and by the time I started school all the friends were set and nobody wanted me part of their group. So I had to learn how to be alone, more than before.”

“My sister told me yesterday that you came to my house and left sweets. She also told me she ate them all and forgot to mention it to me. I didn’t know anyone had come forward after my sacrifice. I thought I’d been left to rot again. So thank you for caring. You’re a nice girl, Yuigahama. Nicer than that girl I knew in Middle School. I don’t know how to trust people anymore, because I learned not to trust the hard way. I may never be normal. I can’t presume to know what other people want anymore, because I’ve learned they lie, often for very little gain. And when I expect the worst from people I’m often right. I don’t think people our age are supposed to know that so young. I think they find out in a few years, maybe in their first job.”

“Hikki,” Yui said morosely. She was crying. She hugged me then, and I didn’t know what to do.

After a few minutes she dug a tissue out of her purse and wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

“Thank you for telling me that,” she finally said. “Does it bother you that I’m around?” she asked.

“No. It’s fine. You seem to be happy and Yukino makes funny faces when you confuse her,” I admitted. If I’d been some wretched bastard I would have hurt her just then, but having daily leg pain kept me grounded and more observant. True sarcasm requires good observation skills. And Yui didn’t deserve any cruelty. She was a nice girl. She was… genuine.

Yui left then, to join her loud friends and do noisy things and missed a couple of club days helping them out. Sensei turned up on the third day.

“I see Yuigahama isn’t here again. I guess she quit. There’s no sense forcing it after compulsory education is over.”

“Sensei, I’m not motivated either,” I pointed out.

“You don’t get to quit. You owe me,” she snarled. Someone’s on the rag.

Yoshi was cowering and Yukino looked perturbed. I can only tell this because there’s a tiny line between her brows, which is significant expression for her generally stoic exterior. I sighed. The door slammed open and Yui camed in like normal.

“Yahallo! Sorry I’m late. Miura says hi!” she announced. Sensei blinked at this.

“You’re back?” she asked. Yui nodded happily.

“Yeppers. I had to help out with some stuff, but we’re good again. So, any new quests?” she asked. She looked back and forth.

“Is that not the right word?” she asked.

“No, quests is a good word for what we do,” I agreed. “Nice to see you again outside class.”

We spent the rest of the day with the two girls chatting, and Yoshi working on his novel. There was a lot wrong with his prior draft and he had to go sentence by sentence to fix it. It was getting better, which is pretty amazing.

“Hachiman, I need a favor,” Yoshi said after Yui left. Yukino was observing us intently.

“Yui’s birthday is coming up June 18th, and I’ve got a creative writing seminar this weekend out of town. Yukino needs a male escort to the mall and I thought maybe you could help. She wants to pick out a gift for our friend. Can you do that, bro?” he asked me. Yukino nodded in support of this. I raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, okay. When and where?” I asked them. We exchanged numbers and set time and place.

The following Saturday morning found me arriving at the Chiba City mall at 10 AM, where Yukino was patiently waiting in very nice looking date clothes and a big sun hat and glasses. We greeted each other and she took my arm.

“For today only pretend to be my boyfriend. I hate being hit on by strangers. It gives me the creeps.”

“If you’re sure,” I answered, and led her into the mall, starting with the directory. I looked at the board.

“We could start by walking the upper floor systematically,” Yukino suggested. She was going with a browsing model. As a male, I am a hunter and home in on prey. I examined the directory and pointed to the lower atrium.

“What we want will be there,” I said. Yukino considered.

“I bow to your commoner’s shopping expertise,” she decided. I note that her clothes are NOT off the rack, but appeared to be custom made and of the highest quality. There were no tags visible, and all the seams were perfect.

“Very well.” We walked to the atrium area and spotted a Yinsey World outlet. Yukino made a beeline for the Pan-San display. Picking up one of the bears. I saw her hug it. This was something even Komachi had grown out of so the gap moe was strong, and nostalgic. I slowly approached while Yukino was lost in happy memories.

“It's cute but probably not what Yui is into. I know she mentioned she’s still trying to get better at cooking. There’s a cooking store next door. How about we go there?” I suggested. Yukino froze, looking down at the Pan-San in her arms. She discreetly paid for it and a coffee mug on the same theme before joining me to try the cooking section. We eventually worked our way past gizmos she might already own, or never use… like egg slicers. Who is that for? English people? This is Japan. We don’t do cucumber sandwiches either.

The wall of aprons caught our eyes. We shared a smile and examined several. I looked at the pink polka dotted one with ruffles and Yukino considered the purple one.

“Purple goes with everything,” she said.

“Except Orange… and flour, and Yui is a baker now. The pink with ruffles is probably her style,” I countered. Yukino considered this then agreed, putting the purple one down, then picked it up again for herself. Fine. Yukino is a skilled cook. If she wants to wear a purple apron, it’s her choice. I noticed a pet shop across the way while Yukino was paying for her purchases.

“Oh, Yukino-chan?” said a lady’s voice. I looked around and a woman who looked like a short haired, busty version of Yukino in five years greeted my “date”.

“Sister,” Yukino hissed with disapproval. The woman just teeheed at her sibling’s discomfort. We exited the store, a number of people looking at the three of us. We sat on a bench in the atrium.

“I’m Haruno, Yukino’s older sister. What’s your name?” she said cutely, leaning well into my personal space.

“Hikigaya,” I answered, trying to lean away, but she pursued, chest first. Soft. 

“Hmm? Isn’t Yukino dating a Yoshiteru? Are you cheating already, little sis?” she accused in a very cute way. “He’s kind of handsome in a bad boy way. Do you like bad boys now, Yukino-chan?”

Oh crap. She’s like this, is she? Every book I’ve read about women says that those with charm are the most dangerous, and sometimes insane. Emotional Damage is commonly revealed in a charming woman.

She started poking me and pushing her boobs on my arm, which was very distracting. Soft, warm, the sort of woman you could probably get lost in and wonder what happened when she took half in the divorce. This thought cleared my head like a cold shower. I froze. 

“Are you her boyfriend now? C’mon tell me!” she teased like a brat. “If you make Yukino cry I’ll make you regret it,” she teased, poking me in the cheek.

“I just know him from school. Stop it sister,” pouted Yukino.

“Sorry, I got a bit carried away,” Haruno apologized to her sister, but not to me.

“Yukino is a delicate gal, so you’ve got to be careful with her,” she whispered into my ear, from far too close. I drew back a bit. 

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked cutely, finally noticing I was stiff and no longer playing along. 

“Uhh. It’s just I have sensitive ears.” I really need to work on my comebacks. For once, I envied Yoshiteru. He was constantly coming up with witty dialogue, then writing down the best bits. Yukino really seemed to like this in his latest story edits. Considering her taste for poetry, I really shouldn't be surprised. 

“Stop sharing your fetishes with a woman you just met,” accused Yukino hotly, flustered. “You could get sued and you wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.” Haruno blinked at this, looking between us, then pounded me on the back with great exaggeration.

“You’re hilarious Hikigaya!” Haruno cackled loudly. People passing by stared, then rushed away. She was acting like some kind of American. 

“If you’re finished embarassing me in public, we have things to do,” reminded Yukino.

Haruno bounced up. “Hikigaya-kun, let’s get tea or something if you become Yukino’s boyfriend someday,” she promised loudly, leaving. I just stared, baffled. Did she listen to nothing? 

“Your sister is really something,” I said as the sound died away.

“Everyone says that about her,” Yukino complained with exasperation. “They shower her with praise for how perfect she is.”

“Huh? I meant her façade. She’s so very fake. She acts cute, like the ideal woman, but ideals are just ideals, and don’t exist in the real world,” I answered, correcting her assertion.

“So your rotten eyes are able to see through her? I guess they’re good for something,” Yukino commented, pleased.

A dog yapped and bounced through the crowd of shoppers, leaping into my lap at the last second. I held it, recognizing the dog I’d saved. I guess it recognized me too.

“Sable! I’m sorry!” said a voice that became Yuigahama, who froze, seeing us together on a date. I petted the dog and grinned to Yui.

“Ah, I… I’m intruding,” Yui realized, shock and betrayal in her eyes.

“Come join us,” I beckoned. Sable bounded out of my lap and ran circles around Yui’s legs, full of energy like his mistress.

“We were shopping for your birthday presents, but it seems you found us anyway,” told her. She looked confused.

“Umm, my birthday is in September,” she said. Yukino looked at me. I looked at her.

“I thought it was June?” Yukino said. She offered the box with the pink apron.

“I have something in mind for you too. Just a minute.”

I entered the pet store and grabbed what I was after then paid for the little gift. It even came with a display box. I handed it over to Yuigahama, who took it out, starting to stretch it around her own neck.

“It’s for Sable,” I mentioned, carefully not watching her turn red with embarrassment. “I noticed his collar keeps coming loose. This one stretches a bit.”

“Thank you. I thought maybe… nevermind,” she said.

“Yoshi asked me to keep her safe. Yukino isn’t fond of big crowds of commoners, right Yukino?” I reminded.

“That is correct. He’s standing in for Yoshi today. You just missed my sister,” Yukino reported primly.

“Haruno is a typhoon,” I warned Yui. “If you meet her, be prepared.”

“So, huh. Escort duty? Does that mean you’ll escort me somewhere public sometime?” she asked.

“It’s only fair,” I agreed.

“Good. It’s a promise. I’ll keep that in mind if there’s a festival, like Obon,” Yui said, looking serious in a pink housewife apron.

School came to an end for summer break a week later, and I enjoyed some rest.