Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Happy Endings, And Other Lies ❯ Happy Endings: 6 ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Chapter Six

 

Returning to school found another day of studies, more makeup quizzes handed in, more essays, this time written with fake enthusiasm to suit the tastes of the teacher reading it. Writing for an audience. What a concept! If you just lie and tell them what they want to hear, your pandering will lead to great success.

It was also very distasteful. I continued my cramming until lunch. Club Room was interrupted by the arrival of a Fox Girl, if ever there was one. Apparently Yui knew her due to some convolution of the Saki bartender mess, now finally resolved after approval of scholarships to cram school.

“Sempais…Oh. Who are you?” asked the girl, startled.

“Iroha-chan, this is Hikigaya. He’s a club member,” introduced Yui.

“Ah, is that so? Isshiki Iroha-san,” she introduced herself. Isshiki? The detective.

“Thanks for your assistance helping Saki,” I began. There was a sharp intake of breath. “San,” I added belatedly. “What can we do for you?”

“I have a problem. Some girls in my class have put my name on the form for the school president election.”

At that moment the actual school president, Shiromeguri Meguri (again, another victim of the hospital’s pharmacologist), arrived to fill in details. I listened intently.

“So they’ve entered your name and you can’t just withdraw it?” I clarified. Iroha-san made a face.

“It would look… bad. I think that’s why they did it in the first place. They’re upset with my relationship with Hayama,” she began and I heard a choke of laughter from Yukino. I refilled her teacup for her “cough”.

“Don’t mind us. We’ve had dealings with him.” Yui frowned but kept silent.

“What’s so funny?” she finally burst out, angry.

“I don’t doubt you, but are you aware of the nature of his relationship with women?” I finally said.

“You mean… he’s… he’s?” she started to say.

“Maybe not that, but it’s more complicated. He uses them as shield from each other. As I understand it, Miss Miura is quite frustrated with him and the façade of a relationship which isn’t going anywhere. The upper classes wear masks. Did you not notice?” I asked the girl. Her expression changed.

“Not just the upper classes,” she muttered darkly. “You’re the guy who always says the truth, aren’t you? I’ve heard about you.”

“Anything good? Or just the usual jealousy?” I teased.

“Nothing I’d want to repeat. They’re saying you’re a playboy, toying with girls’ hearts, and your own is black as your gaze,” she denied her own refusal by elaborating. It was a quite a feat of mental gymnastics.

“You have a special stretching routine to make your brain do that?” I asked.

“Sorry, I can’t date you, Please stop asking, I’m really interested in someone else,” she rapidly fired out with a false contriteness that was actual comedy, so I laughed.

“If I ever take up manzai comedy, I’m going to recruit you as my straight man,” I promised.

Yui and Yukinoshita both breathed audible sighs of relief for some reason.

“So, the question here is: do you want the job?” I asked. Iroha-san frowned.

“I’m only a first year, so no, not really,” she admitted.  

“Then the second question is: should we find others to apply to run against you? This might be as simple as an approved student council message asking students for names of people to nominate. Maybe from their class reps?” I turned to regard Yukinoshita. I feel like this is an important question and I should not make assumptions here. Too many feelings could be run over.

Yukino had an odd expression. I raised my eyebrow and she extracted a sleek cellphone and began to slowly text with it. Not someone used to it. For being a girl with such high specifications, she was strangely weak in the Social Media arts. I found that interesting.

“What’s happening?” asked Iroha from behind my ear, well within my personal space. I shivered involuntarily. She’d stepped behind my chair while I wasn’t looking. Sneaky. I’d remember that.

“I am not sure. Yukino rarely uses a phone that I can remember. There’s probably some ominous reason.”

“I can hear you,” she responded. She was only three meters away, so this was fair.

“Some dark presence in her life. Someone she dreads, but sometimes, only sometimes, she needs,” whispered Shiromeguri-san in a creepy voice. "And its name is Haruno!” Then she started to laugh with that annoying noblewoman’s laugh “Ohohohoho!”

Yukinoshia glared. “It isn’t funny.” Yui was shuddering in her chair, eyes glazed in fear. It wasn’t fake. Yui was actually afraid. Okay, points for ominous.

“You mean that’s true?” I finally asked.

“You haven’t met my sister yet,” as if there were an explanation. “She’s… an experience. Think fox girl, only turned up to eleven.”

“You know Spinal Tap? I’m shocked!” I burst. Yukino blushed. It was very pretty. I just took it in, before remembering my phone had a camera and quickly snapped a picture. I mailed it to my home address immediately.

“What was that?” warned Yukino.

“A precious memory, one I’m keeping.”

“You better not do anything filthy with it,” she suggested. I can only think it was a suggestion. She didn’t leap for my phone to erase it or anything. So I put it away, slightly confused.

“No promises.”

Iroha twittered, and not the social media company. Japan had its own system Lines, so screw that American company.

“Well, what is happening now?” asked Iroha. Meguri just smiled mysteriously. Yui shuddered.

“Three minutes,” said Yukino, carefully watching the screen.

“How do you know?” I asked.

“I Low-Jacked her phone,” she said simply. I snorted in amusement at the idea. Then I considered how useful that would be to find Komachi rather than rely on my Big Brother senses, which hadn’t failed me yet, actually.

A moment later an older, bustier, and grinning maniac of a college girl strode into our club room like she owned the place.

“Meguri-kohai! How’s tricks?” she asked. Meguri greeted her sempai. Iroha looked between the two sisters, down at her own chest and realized several things all at once, probably painful things. This was probably the person who broke Hayama, I realized. Many things suddenly made sense.

“Wow. So many mysteries solved,” I said out loud. “So this is what Epiphany feels like?”

The mysterious elder Yukinoshita Haruno turned her bestial gaze upon me. And I saw the edge of the mask in her eyes. How interesting. I watched, silently and her pupils dilated with interest. She was good. She could fake that interest on demand.

“I’m impressed. Your mask is excellent. You must fool people all the time.”

“It’s the nature of the waters where I swim. Full of sharks like old men, handsy and grasping for power, money, and influence. Little Yukino called, so I came. What’s this emergency?” the grinning devil-sister asked, turning to regard her sibling, still standing in my personal space and giving me a view down her blouse at some very nice breasts, tasteful lace bra, perspiration and expertly applied perfume so light it was barely there, exactly as a woman should use it. Less is more. I’ve read that somewhere, and its powerful in person.

She was a perfect image of what a woman should be, and it was a lie. I was sure of it.

“Neesan, would you please describe your experience as the student council president? We have an interested person who might take the job for reasons.”

“Not you, Yukino? Not you? This once you won’t chase your sister?” she teased. Wow. The layers of poison in that statement was impressively toxic.

“Miss Haruno-san, thank you for your prompt arrival. This is club business and we hope you can assist us, perhaps without making Yukino lose her temper? May I offer you a chair?” I said, offering her my own and stepping out of the way. She sniffed and then quickly descended into it with perfect posture, another mask, this one angry and turned to regard Iroha.

“So, what’s your name, honey?” asked Haruno, just this side of offensive. Iroha almost cracked under this pressure. She was not up to being a student council president. Politics was full or sharks, like the woman said.

“Isshiki Iroha,” she said once she composed herself.

“The detective’s daughter. I know him. There was some business about a variance for an employee?” she said. Well informed.

“Being student council president,” stated Haruno, watching all of us,” is about dealing with student issues, deferring and deflecting unreasonable requests, learning how to say no without committing arson to public highways… burning bridges, honey, and connections in the community to get supplies and support. You also negotiate prices and manage your staff, which is never easy. And if you fail at one thing, all the blame lands on you. Does that sum things up, Meguri?” she asked, turning to regard the outgoing president.

“More or less,” Meguri-san admitted. “You scared them enough that they didn’t bother me for months after I took office. Unfortunately, they’ll be extra mean when they get a new president, now.”

“The election is in a month?” I asked, not certain.

“Three weeks. And the list of candidates is due in four days. So whatever you do had better be quick,” corrected Meguri sempai.

“So, Yukino: what will you do?” she grinned evilly.

“Have you been binge watching the Joker recently?” I asked.

“Huh?” she responded, derailed by my comment.

“It’s the mask thing, and the attitude. Vamping in for maximum impact, showing what a real woman can do, all influence peddling and threats. Who buys that?” I finally burst out.

“Oh, I like you. Is this our Stalking Horse?” she asked Yukino, pointing at me. “Did you check his teeth? Because I know what that leg cost.”

“You want to see the scars?” I challenged her.

“Yes, I really do, but I suspect Yukino would kill me in my sleep for doing that a second time.”

“Oh really?” I reached for my belt.

“Don’t you dare!” hissed Yukino. I stopped. Eyebrow raised. She deflated.

“She’s just trying to taunt you. She likes doing that to men.”

“I know. I was going to see if she was all talk or if the mask would slip in the face of the cruel reality. The guys were suitably impressed at the hot spring.”

“I’m not some teenage boy,” purred the viper in the room.

“No, you aren’t. Can you stop pushing Yukino’s buttons, please? And be civil?” I demanded. I really wasn’t asking.

“I was having coffee when I got her message. Instead of an emergency I find children acting like this decision was important. It doesn’t matter who is the student council president. The staff does the work. It just looks good on your college entrance application.” Finally some honest words. It was like pulling teeth with this one.

“So what will it be, Yukino? Will you run?” her sister asked. Yukino thought for a long minute.

“Yes.”

 

+++++++++++

 

The election three weeks later put Yukinoshita Yukino in charge of the student council. This largely shut down the service club, as we found we needed to assist our clubmate full time. It was interesting work. Similar to what we did before, but with more zeros. We had to deal with financial issues, budgeting, and like the lady said, saying no without burning bridges. Many of the requests were frivolous, but some were serious.