Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ SIA Documentary ❯ Chapter 2

The AMH world holds many dangers to SIs... after all they are nothing more than regular human beings. They cannot survive being malleted to the stratosphere, or can be easily be done in by a well placed `Naru-Punch' or a ki slice that can cut through rocks. They can't do ki attacks, or have martial arts skills that can make other people explode, or allow them to stay in the air longer than what gravity allows.

 

In short, SIs can't do shit like an average anime dude.

 

What SIs have though are their protocols. Being authors, they are able to recreate themselves into anything with just their imagination, and unknowingly, create an upset in the balance of the Universe they live in. Sometimes, they unwittingly destroy the world they reside in.

 

After a few hundred Universes suffered from these erring SIs, the rest of the AMH world would spend their time secretly studying them. Some developed measures to be able to detect, and imprison these SIs. A lot just kill them.

 

Most of these anime/manga characters that take care of SIs are usually gung-ho about hunting and exterminating them. Some are usually powerful, with almost god-like powers themselves. There are others though who are relatively weak; they tend to be overlooked. Nevertheless, they all have one aim… to destroy or capture SIs.

 

They are aptly named as SIK by SIs who had faced and survived them. The Self Insert Killers.

 

Buds was unlucky. Well, he should have expected it. He was run over by a Vespa, almost cut in half by a giant monster who was being ordered by a little girl, and finally stabbed seven times by that Caster chick, who was supposed to be his Servant. So when he finally arrived in his new AMH world and relatively found some peace, he should have known it wouldn't last.

 

“You are an SI,” a girl with short blue hair said in an even and neutral voice. Her yellow eyes were sharp as she stared at him directly. “You will not escape.”

 

Buds found himself surrounded by four burning walls. Beside him was Reiko's who looked at him desperately as green neon-colored bonds were slowly tightening around her body.

 

“She's hacking in your protocols fast!” Reiko declared as she tried to struggle for a release. “Get out of here! If she successfully hacks and turns them off, when you die… you'll really die!”

 

“I know that…” Buds said through gritted teeth.

 

So far, his Final Protocol was still intact. He might escape the enclosed space that the girl placed him in… but since she was steadily hacking his protocols already, if he failed, he'd be done for. Literally. Good-bye, adventure… good-bye Buds. And he wasn't ready to retire yet… this was just his third world! He can't die! Not yet, anyway.

 

Buds was unlucky… really unlucky. In front of him was an SIK by the name of Yuki Nagato.

 

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Self Insert Appreciation Documentary: Chapter 2

(Man… Buds, you're fucked…)

 

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Let's take it back the day where Buds first arrived in this AMH universe, a few days after he was stabbed to death by Caster. It was rather eventful, if I must say so myself, all thanks to Reiko most probably. How best to describe it?

 

“HELP!!” a young teenage girl screamed as a gang of boys surrounded her.

 

Ah… yes. Damsel in distress. A very good ice-breaker in the fiction world.

 

“Don't scream, girly,” one of the guys stated, probably the leader, with his tongue out. His pointed green hair made his pierced face even more gruesome. “We just want some money…”

 

“I don't have any money!” the girl replied.

 

“Well, that's not good, is it guys?” the second gang member said. “Don't tell me we wasted our looks, and good time threatening you when you don't have any money to pay us!”

 

“What do we do?” the third gang member asked.

 

“Well, we could have a little consolation,” the (probably) leader declared. “What do you think we can take of her worth at least some monetary value?”

 

“How about her panties?” the second member asked. He was immediately whacked behind the head by the leader.

 

“Idiot, we're doing a hold-up here, not a rape!” the (probably) leader declared. “Be professional, would you?”

 

“But boss,” the second one muttered before he was silenced by another whack from the third member. “Oi! Whatcha hit me for!?”

 

“Don't argue with the boss!” the third member declared.

 

Well… there we have. The one who spoke first was definitely the leader. And they are… professionals. Well, either that, or just really dense. Or gay. Pick one.

 

“Looky here! That's a mighty fine necklace you have,” the leader declared touching a golden chain around the teen's neck. His hand was slapped away.

 

“Get your dirty hands off that!” the girl declared. “My grandmother gave me that! I won't allow you… you hooligans to take it!” She slapped the young man's face, like some sort of exclamation point to her declaration.

 

The leader stumbled a bit, not really expecting an attack on his beautiful (well, he thinks it is) face. “You little bitch!” he muttered. “Grab her! We'll just grab everything she has!”

 

“No! Keep away!” the teen backed away from the approaching group when suddenly, a bright ball of light appeared in between them.

 

It started out as a small pin prick, and suddenly expanded to a rather large sphere so bright it blinded the two parties. After a few seconds, the light faded, revealing the SIs arrival, who took his traditional `deep breathe to the new AMH world' before opening his eyes, and finding three guys in front of him, staring.

 

He blinked.

 

“Uh… Reiko…” he whispered towards his left, where his familiar was floating in the air, once again, unseen by anyone except Buds himself.

 

“What?” she asked, her voice only heard by the SI.

 

“You put me in a place where there are people…” he replied.

 

“So?” Reiko asked, grinning.

 

“Ah, fuck, screw you,” Buds muttered before he looked towards the gang members. He gave them a smile. “Hi! You might think I appeared out of thin air, but I didn't! What you saw was a naturally occurring phenomenon, where bright lights converge in a single point of space, temporarily creating a blinding light. Its very rare, of course, not even considered a theory of light physics. I used that phenomenon to sneak in from… uh, somewhere, and there you have it! What you just saw was normal.”

 

There was a brief pause before one of the gang members stuttered… “A… alien!”

 

And like a row of dominos, that word caused a chain reaction. The other guys started to mumble the same thing, except the volumes of their voice raised in every word.

 

“Alien!”

 

“ALIEN!”

 

“ALIEN!!!!”

 

“HE EVEN TALKS TO HIMSELF!”

 

“No, no, no!” Buds raised his hands to his chest. “I'm not an alien… I'm not…”

 

The three members ran. Buds could only stare at the clouds of dust they created with a rather annoyed expression.

 

“Never mind,” he muttered. He looked towards his familiar. “Don't do that anymore, alright? Next time, it won't be a bunch of kids with spiky hair… could have been a trigger happy… huh…”

 

Buds watched as his familiar was pointing something towards her right, behind him.

 

“… what are you pointing…” he turned around… “… at…? Oh… hi…”

 

Behind Buds was a damsel in distress… well, not anymore, anyway. She was staring at him with her big brown eyes. The SI was reminded of that cat voiced by that Spanish dude… he couldn't recall the name.

 

Looking at the teen, she was fairly attractive. She had short brown hair, cut just above her shoulders. She wore a headband, keeping her hair in place, and wore an apron over her high school dress. She also wore very bright orange rubber shoes.

 

There was another pregnant pause. Then she exploded right on his face.

 

“YOU'RE AN ALIEN!? YOU'RE AN ALIEN!? AWESOME!!!!” she shouted. Buds heard his ears ringing. “SO WHAT PLANET YA FROM!? SATURN? MARS? URANUS? PLUTO… oh wait… Pluto isn't a planet anymore, is it?”

 

“Uh… I think so…” Buds replied dumbly.

 

“Cool… So, what kind of technology do you hold!? You telekinetic? Pyrokinetic? Who were you talking to? Another alien? Is he invisible? Do you do anal probes!?”

 

“NO!” Buds declared at once. “I mean… no, I'm not an alien…”

 

“AWESOME!!! Come here! I'm gonna show you to my mom!” she declared, grabbing his hand, and with freakish strength, dragged him along with her.

 

“No, wait… listen!” Buds complained, before he finally gave in. “Oh, fine… whatever.”

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-=-=-=-=-

 

Buds found himself in the eye of a cold blooded… mother. She looked at him like he was some sort of ant in front of her path. Her lips were as narrow as a toothpick, her eyebrows scrunched together, and her form seemingly ready for a rumble.

 

The woman's eyes were like her daughters… brown, but sharper. Her hair was slightly longer, but tied in a bun held in place by two chopsticks. She was also fuller, and quite attractive in Buds' opinion, but unlike her daughter, she wore very loose clothing under her apron, seemingly trying to hide her full figure.

 

“An alien, huh?” she asked, giving the SI a large bowl of ramen, her mouth chewing on a toothpick.

 

“Uh-huh!” the teen replied. “He rescued me from a bunch of thugs! He came from this enormous wormhole made of pure light, and scared those guys away!”

 

“Hmmm… that's nice of Mr. Alien, eh?” she asked, staring at Buds. After a moment, she looked back towards her daughter, and smiled sweetly. “Yumi… you have school tomorrow, right? Why don't you go and prepare. It's late.”

 

“Sure mom!” she answered at once. She took one last glance at the young man, and gave him a smile of her own before going through a door, which Buds guessed leads to upstairs, where the family resided.

 

The SI was brought to the teen girl's home, which also doubled as a family business… a restaurant. Behind the counter was the woman, who had prepared Buds a bowl of ramen.

 

He thought the woman didn't like him. But the moment her daughter left, he knew at once it was more than that. She seemed to hate him. Her glare intensified, the air changed suddenly, giving Buds the cold sweat. He felt safer staring down at his bowl of ramen.

 

“So… this is how you men trick a young woman, eh?” she asked, walking in towards the left.

 

Buds wondered what that was about. Tricking? He assumed it would be best to ignore her. After all, she seemed rather protective of her daughter, albeit extremely suspicious. Besides, the ramen in front of him not only looked amazing, it was one of the most delicious things he ate for quite a while. It wasn't until he saw a glint of a blade coming down near him did he look up.

 

He almost jumped out of his seat when the knife thudded and stabbed the thick chopping board in front of him. He did spill a bit of the broth though, and felt his heart skip a beat. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to ignore her… so from that point on, he made a show that he did hear her.

 

“And I thought you men couldn't get any lower,” she stared at him as she grabbed her knife and began to chop some crabsticks and tuna meat. Her skill showed, doing fine cuts without even looking at the blade. Her eyes were solely on the SI.

 

“E… excuse me?” Buds had to ask. He was getting very confused by her declarations.

 

“I don't know how you did it, you little prick, but I am not my daughter,” she grabbed some rice and flattened seaweed without breaking eye contact. “You may have fooled her, but you won't fool me.”

 

“Um… if it's about the alien bit… I'm not an alien,” Buds stated.

 

“Of course you're not,” she declared, and placed some sushi and sashimi beside the bowl of ramen Buds was eating. “I'm not gullible to believe you are.”

 

He didn't know what else to say. He continued eating his ramen for a bit, taking a few bites out of the sashimi and sushi the woman had prepared. He found them very tasty as well, but he couldn't really enjoy the food. He was getting uncomfortable around her presence.

 

After a few moments, someone entered.

 

“Oi, Setsuko, you're still open?” a female voice called.

 

The woman smiled warmly all of the sudden. “Hey, Miho!”

 

Buds watched detachedly as woman behind the counter, Setsuko, removed her apron and went towards the other woman, Miho, who had just arrived. They hugged, and shared a rather intimate kiss. He turned back to his food without much thought, and continued eating.

 

“How was your day?” Miho asked.

 

“Same old,” Setsuko replied. “Remember that man I told you about two days ago? He returned… and he still didn't get the message.”

 

“Ah, ignore them,” Miho laughed. “Take it as a compliment! It shows how pretty you are.”

 

“Pretty to you, yes,” Setsuko replied. “Pretty to the pigs? Ha! It doesn't take much to do that. It's like teaching a dog to wag its tail.”

 

“You're really mean, you know that?” Miho stated, though probably with a smile. Buds could imagine one on her face, judging by the tone of her voice… of course, he could have just been mistaken. He wasn't a profiler, or an expert… but even if he wasn't, he knew what was wrong with Setsuko.

 

She's a male-hating woman who prefers the gender the same as hers.

 

Buds shrugged, now feeling a bit better. He had thought the woman had read him wrong or something, and it made him uncomfortable because he didn't exactly find a fault in his actions so far… but if she did hate men, then he can put a reason of her actions, and assure himself he had done nothing wrong.

 

Absolutely nothing.

 

“Take this guy for example,” Setsuko suddenly declared.

 

Buds blinked for a moment. He had a feeling that the woman was pointing her finger at him.

 

“Setsuko, come on, its one thing bad mouthing people when they aren't around…”

 

“No, no, this is good,” Setsuko cut her friend (lover?) off. “Talking about people when they aren't here to hear it is rather rude. I'm actually being courteous to him. My daughter brought him home.”

 

“Oooh, boyfriend?” Miho asked, a bit excited.

 

“No, she says he's an alien,” Setsuko replied. “Would you believe that?”

 

“Alien?” Miho laughed. “That's absurd.”

 

“Oh yeah, absolutely,” Setsuko faked her laugh. “Alien that saves her from a gang of boys. What does that tell you?”

 

“You're daughter has a wild imagination?” Miho asked.

 

“No…” Setsuko paused. “It means this boy here was expecting some sort of reward from my little girl for `saving' her.”

 

The word `saving' was said sarcastically. Even a fool would have noticed that… okay, maybe not.

 

“Men these days, really,” Setsuko clicked her tongue. “They'd do anything to sleep with girls… Isn't that right, Mr. Alien?”

 

Buds did what any kind of decent man would do. He stood up… and gave her hell. Well, in his dreams. He just ignored her.

 

“Rescuing a young teen, expecting her to jump herself at you?” Setsuko continued. “Bet you didn't expect her mother wouldn't be so easily fooled, eh? Well, I wouldn't expect anything less from you men. I always said they were born stupid. I guess Mr. Alien was born dumb too.”

 

Buds stood up, and turned around. His chopsticks were cut in half, and his food lay there, unfinished. He didn't feel hungry anymore. Well… now he stands up for himself.

 

“Funny… you talk, but you might as well be dumb yourself, and I wouldn't have noticed, you stupid dyke,” Buds suddenly muttered, his tone low, and eyes staring back defiantly at Setsuko's.

 

“Oh, he bares fangs,” Setsuko smirked at him. “Sticks and stones, little man.”

 

“Sticks have better figures than you, and unlike stones… they aren't hollow inside,” Buds countered. “I would have thank you for your hospitability, but it would only be a waste of hot air… you're food is amazing but you're personality sucks.”

 

“So?” Setsuko asked, her smirk gone. Her lips formed a thin line once more.

 

“So, nothing. Thank you for the food, have a pleasant evening… and I hope you go to hell,” Buds forced a friendly smile. He looked towards Setsuko's companion, and bowed a bit. “No offense about the lesbian quip…”

 

Setsuko and Miho watched as the SI leave. The latter gave a sigh.

 

“Wow… I actually felt static that time,” she declared.

 

“Heh, nothing but bark,” Setsuko huffed. “I'm closing… we can spend time alone.”

 

Miho smiled. “Sure!”

 

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“Wow… like… wow,” Reiko smiled as she floated in front of Buds. “Even I was never able to rile you up like that!”

 

“Shut up,” Buds muttered darkly. “Stupid woman… I hope to God she was the only one like that… the world would never survive two of them.”

 

“I'm jealous,” Reiko declared. “No matter how bad I treated you so far, you wouldn't bite back at me like that!”

 

“You want me to?” Buds asked, looking at her.

 

“Well… it would be nice to know that my tortures actually do affect you,” she smirked.

 

“Your `tortures' are nothing more than annoyances,” Buds replied.

 

“Then I have to step up my game then,” Reiko smiled.

 

“You don't have to,” Buds muttered. “What happened there was a one time thing. You placed me somewhere in public, and that riled me up. I was dragged away by a teenage girl who thinks I'm an alien, and I got riled up again because she wasn't even listening to me. And the clincher was meeting her mother who saw me like I was a piece of shit, and started insulting me in my face…”

 

“Back,” Reiko corrected.

 

“Whatever. Point is, what you saw was something I'd prolly not do again,” he stated. He paused for a moment, and added, “I don't want to do it again.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because…” Buds went silent after that.

 

He walked aimlessly across the street, Reiko floating beside him, silent. She let him walk it off for a moment, and for a few minutes, they never spoke a word to each other. It wasn't until he had sat down in a park bench did she break silence.

 

“So… what now?” Reiko asked.

 

“What we do everyday,” Buds replied.

 

“Take over the world?” Reiko smirked.

 

“No, no. Find a job, and find a place to stay. And eat…” Buds patted his stomach. “I guess it's eat first then find a job. Is my `Starter' Protocol still on, right… so I got a few Yen on me right?”

 

Starter Protocol… it's one of the three active protocols that Buds uses every time he visits an AMH world. The Starter Protocol is a baseline in which Buds created to begin his adventure on a world, and it gives the SI a small amount of starting money which is probably good for one meal, a small one at that. Sometimes, to Reiko's discretion, it gives him more… like an apartment where he had met Caster in the last world, or etcetera.

 

Of course, she could just be sad, turn it off, and make her own decisions in how Buds would start. Luckily for him, she wasn't sad today.

 

“Yes, and why do you want to eat?” Reiko asked. “Didn't you just eat earlier?”

 

“I… wasn't filled,” Buds replied slowly. “I ate a few noodles, and one sashimi and one sushi.” He scratched his head after he said that. “… Shit. I should have finished my food before I took a walk! Fuck!”

 

“Too late to waltz back in and ask for the food she gave you,” Reiko grinned. “She probably threw it away. Even if she didn't, I wouldn't hesitate to kick your ass if you come back after calling me a dyke, or tell me a stick has a better figure than me…”

 

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Buds muttered.

 

“Didn't you also say she should go to hell? What else?”

 

Buds rolled his eyes.

 

“I get it, okay?” he sighed. “Besides… I wouldn't be caught dead walking back to her. The family's a loon. Daughter believes in aliens… mother's believes men are scum.”

 

“Technically, you are an alien… and in my opinion, you are scum,” Reiko grinned.

 

“Har, har,” Buds mocked laughter. “Well, you're a bitch.”

 

“Oooh, now we're getting somewhere!” Reiko looked satisfied. “Come on! Call me more names!”

 

“Shut up,” he muttered. “Let's go… I'm hungry. I can find a job tomorrow.”

 

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Buds didn't know what, but for some reason, he found himself in front of a restaurant-bar. Maybe it was because he heard drums and strings being played… who knew… only him. He entered, and looked around for a moment before he was greeted by a middle-aged waiter.

 

“Good evening, sir,” he greeted. “The bar will be open in an hour.”

 

“Oh… so, you're not open yet?” Buds asked.

 

“We are…” the waiter replied, and smiled. “Just that the bar is not yet open.”

 

“So… how about food?” Buds asked.

 

“I'll get you a table, sir,” the waiter smiled.

 

It took only a moment. The chairs were flipped over the tables, probably because the floors were being cleaned, and Buds noticed that the whole place was empty, except for the waiter that is serving him, a house band playing on stage, and a bartender, seemingly wiping a few mugs.

 

“Hope you don't mind the noise,” the waiter said. “People don't come here at this hour… That's when the house band comes in to practice.”

 

He pointed towards the stage.

 

“Stop, stop, stop! Can you actually count!? You're being a second note slower! AGAIN!”

 

Buds smiled a moment, amused as a guitarist on stage berated the drummer. “Kinda strict, isn't he?”

 

“He should be,” the waiter replied. “The owner of this establishment, Mr. Jones, was a very serious musician. A perfectionist, some would say. Raised his son to be like him.”

 

The waiter pointed towards the man who was now giving advices towards the bassist after he was done preaching towards the drummer.

 

“The guitarist?” Buds asked, looking towards the man as he began to play again. “Wow.”

 

“Oh yes… and if you get a chance to hear him play, you'll be more impressed,” the waiter stated. “And like his father, he tends to be a perfectionist when it comes to music.”

 

“I'm guessing he is the band leader, eh?” Buds asked.

 

“Yes. Anyway… your order, sir?” the waiter asked.

 

“Nothing fancy, just some ramen, probably,” Buds muttered.

 

“Coming right up.”

 

Buds watched the house band practice as he waited for his food, and realized that the guitarist had a really good reason to berate the drummer. The latter miscounted five times in three different songs… his rolls were very slow and weak, and couldn't keep doing eight-notes on fast songs.

 

The drummer was worse than him on a bad day… well, maybe not, but Buds hoped to God that he wasn't that bad. He really hoped.

 

The vocalist was also rather weak… his voice shook in long stanzas, but it was rather decent. The SI guessed, with just some practice, the singer would give a better showing than now.

 

The last two members weren't off. The bassist was great in Buds' opinion, able to create a rhythm like a second guitarist, and gave some well placed solos. The guitarist, the son of the owner according to the waiter, was amazing. He had fun listening to the two as the band practiced as he ate.

 

“Sir, you're bill…” the waiter stated after Buds was done, giving him a piece of paper. He looked at it for a moment, then went for his wallet… and frowned.

 

“Oh…” Buds groaned. He was short by 500 Yen. “Man… this sucks.” He looked towards the waiter. “I'm… a bit short.”

 

The waiter looked at him, and the money. He looked at the bill for a moment, before nodding. “Hmmm…”

 

“I'll work for that,” Buds stated. “Look, I'm sorry I didn't see how much what I was ordering before I took it.”

 

“Haha, don't worry,” the waiter smiled at him. “It's on me for today.”

 

“You don't have to…”

 

“Like I said, don't worry about it…” the waiter nodded.

 

“I can work for it… I'm actually looking for a job,” Buds declared.

 

“You won't find any here,” the waiter said with a small smile. “Mr. Jones isn't in a hiring mood.”

 

Buds frowned. “Alright… but if you do this, I'm gonna owe you one.”

 

“Whatever makes you happy…” the waiter replied.

 

Buds didn't know what else to say. He stood up from the table, and thanked the waiter again before he left the restaurant-bar. The waiter was still smiling as he watched the SI leave, and gave the bill towards the bartender, who placed it in the register, along with the pay.

 

“Mr. Jones, the money is short by…” the bartender stated towards the waiter.

 

“Do not worry about it,” the waiter cut off the bartender, his smile still present.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-=-=-=-=-

 

The moon shone… and faded as the sun outshined it in the very next morning. Buds could only groan as he felt the hard wood of the bench stiffen his body.

 

There was no other place to go. He already owed a dude 500 yen from yesterday, and had no money to sleep in a motel, so he returned back to the park, and slept on the bench. It wasn't too cold at night, so he had slept with relative comfort… but he groaned when he turned his neck.

 

He forced himself up, not wanting to get attention of cops or early wakers who might come out and jog in the park. He was going to have a busy day anyway… he had to find some work, eat, and when he's ready, he might explore the world in which he was currently staying in. So far, there was no funny business going on yet to identify the world. No monsters, martial artists… GUNDAMs… whatever, nothing yet to make him know what AMH world he landed on.

 

Of course he could ask Reiko… but… he rather not.

 

“Oi, look out!” Reiko declared. Buds' thoughts derailed as he felt bumping into a person.

 

“Oh, man, I'm sorry…” he began to apologize towards the person, when he realized who it was. “Oh… no… not today…”

 

“Mr. Alien!” Yumi (that's what her mother called her…) declared, bringing her arms around him. “Where have you been!? I fixed my stuff last night, and was about to talk to you more when mom said you left! You're mean!”

 

“I'm mean?” Buds asked, a bit disbelieved.

 

“You didn't say goodbye!” Yumi reasoned.

 

“Oh… I'm sorry, I guess,” Buds shrugged. “You're on your way to school?”

 

“Yeah! Wanna come!? I'll introduce you to my friends! I'll tell `em about you saving me and everything!” Yumi grabbed Buds' hand and like yesterday, was about to drag him off but this time, the SI stood his ground.

 

“Not today… I gotta go find work,” Buds stated. “You go on and have fun, alright?”

 

“Work? You need work? I know a place!” Yumi declared, and walked the other way, her hands still clasped on his.

 

“No, I don't need…” Buds stumbled suddenly when her pull became stronger. He tried to pull back, stop her, but for some reason, she was dragging him behind her rather easily.

 

“Don't worry Mr. Alien! It's very close by!” Yumi stated as she continued to drag the SI, who by this time, deemed it useless to resist. Besides… he might actually get a job without even looking.

 

After a moment, Buds stared towards the place where Yumi had dragged him to. He blinked.

 

“This is…”

 

“Yup!” Yumi stated. “Hey mom! Come out!”

 

“Yumi, aren't you supposed to go to…” she stopped when she saw Buds. She smirked a bit, and crossed her arms. “Well, well… if it isn't Mr. Alien.”

 

“Yup! Mom, you need a helper right? Mr. Alien needs work! And I'm going! Bye mom!” Yumi dashed away, leaving the SI and the woman to stare at each other.

 

Reiko could only watch silently as Buds and Setsuko looked at each other silently. She wondered briefly about putting taglines here… the Irresistible Force versus the Immovable Object… but then scrapped that idea. While the Setsuko woman was definitely the former… Buds was opposite of the latter. If it came to a collision, the SI would bow out first.

 

“Heh… need a job, Mr. Alien?” Setsuko asked.

 

“None of your business…” Buds replied evenly. “I wouldn't work for you even if you had the only job opening in the world.”

 

Big words… and to Buds' credit, he did mean it at that time. He left almost at once and searched for a job, preferably far away from the woman.

 

In six hours time, he was in front of Setsuko, on his knees, and his head touching the ground. He had found no job openings anywhere, and was getting hungry. With no other choice, he asked, no, begged her for the job. Reiko was placed in one heck of a laughing fit… especially since Setsuko took the opportunity to hack his pride down to pieces.

 

“You want to work for me? Didn't you say earlier you wouldn't work for me even if I had the only job offering on Earth?” she asked, smirking.

 

“I lied…”

 

“Oh… lied. How about me being dumb?”

 

“I…”

 

“Or sticks having a better figure than me?” she asked, clearly enjoying the situation.

 

“Uh… look… I didn't mean…”

 

“Accuse me of being hollow?” if she could see Reiko now, Setsuko would have seen the SI's familiar choking on air.

 

“I'm sorry about those…” Buds mumbled.

 

“Calling me a dyke?” she raised her eyebrow.

 

“Well… it is true…” the SI whispered. “Look… I'm absolutely sorry for bad mouthing you yesterday in front of your friend.”

 

“Hah… now you're sorry. Yes… that's how good you men are, aren't you?” she asked, laughing a bit. Buds didn't say anything, his head was still down. He only looked up when she asked him, “Do you know how to make Ramen?”

 

He shook his head.

 

“Sushi?”

 

He shook his head again.

 

“Heh… maybe you shouldn't have prostrated in front of me… What kind of chef would hire someone like you?” Setsuko asked. She turned around, and walked away from the kneeling SI, who looked thoroughly beaten.

 

Buds sighed. For a moment he kneeled there, not really knowing what to do. He had no job, no other options… well, he could go look for other jobs, farther away… then shook his head.

 

“Well… are you getting an apron or what?” Setsuko suddenly asked, staring at him behind the counter, her hand pointing towards a rack.

 

“Huh…?” Buds asked, confused.

 

“Get a damn apron already,” Setsuko growled. “If I repeat myself again to you, I'll beat the crap out of you, then fire you.”

 

Buds looked at her for a moment… a small relieved, also a bit disbelieved smile went to his face. He nodded. “Yes ma'am…”

 

“Call me boss,” she muttered.

 

“No way…” Buds was cut off when a big knife came down the chopping board. He swallowed. “Yes boss!”

 

To Be Continued… maybe. :P