Crossover With Non-anime Series Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Cannonball Run 3 World Tour ❯ The Invitations ( Chapter 1 )
Author's Note: I might change the cast, so don't be too surprised if you see anybody that hadn't been mentioned before
E-mail: charlesxavier85@hotmail.com .
Chapter 1
The Invitations
Police cars drove their way to the crashed site in the desert. They all stopped at the location and a tall figure came out along with all the other policemen. Her black shades sparkling in the sun's rays and the black cane she held in her hand swung to her back as the woman walked up to the young few policemen climbing out of the car wreckage.
Mrs. Foyt stared at them sternly.
"Well, what happened?" she said.
"Well, you see, we were after a white Lamborghini that was breaking the speed limit." Said one cop.
"Yeah, and it had four great looking chicks in it!" said another.
Silence.
Everyone looked at the cop who just spoke of the girls they saw in the Lamborghini.
"Really?" said Mrs. Foyt raising her right brow.
"Maybe I should take care of these piss heads for you, Commandant Foyt." Said Captain Harris walking up to Mrs. Foyt, with Proctor following beside him.
"Do of them as you wish, Captain Harris." Smiled Mrs. Foyt. "These stupid fools don't even know how to stop a single car. And chicks? Well! I've been on the highway patrol for thirty years! And I've never seen anyone so stupid as them. When I was young, I always caught cars in less than a minute."
"Proctor, come along!" said Captain Harris approaching the cops.
"Coming, Captain." Said Proctor after he lifted his hat to greet the Commandant.
"Remember. I live to keep the roads safe and sound. Nobody makes a fool out of Commandant Foyt!" Mrs. Foyt went back into her car.
"Hi Dolores!" said Roger Rabbit when he crashed into the huge garage with Benny the Cab, Baby Herman and his love Jessica Rabbit.
"Hey, guys!" said Dolores waving at them. "How's things?"
"Couldn't be better, if Roger didn't keep screwing up his acts!" said Baby Herman.
"Oh, pipe down, Herman." Said Jessica.
"Everybody out!" said Benny. Everyone got out of Benny and walked through the long room of the garage.
"Where's Eddie?" said Jessica. Dolores gave Jessica the same look she always did whenever Eddie was obsessed with…
"Oh, not this again." Said Herman.
"Eddie's been like this since last month. It's driving me insane." Said Jessica.
"But Jessica, darling. I heard that the prize money of this race is…" when Roger said the golden words of the money prize, everyone paused and smiled in delight.
"Did you just say?" Said Dolores.
"A hundred million dollars?" said Jessica.
"Holy cow!" said Herman dropping his cigar.
"That does it. I'm with Eddie in this race." Said Dolores already jumping to conclusions.
"Me too" said Jessica, "Come on Roger!"
"Uh-oh." Said Roger as he was pulled by Jessica.
"But, hey, wait!" said Herman. Too late. They had already left him behind.
"EDDIE!" cried Dolores as he discovered the detective working on his covered up vehicle of which he intended to race with.
"Look, Dolores, I'm really busy here. I..." Eddie was interrupted by Roger's voice.
"Eddie, we want to help you win the Cannonball Run!"
"I know that voice." Said Eddie slowly getting up from the vehicle. "Roger!"
"Eddie! Long time no see!" said Roger hugging his best friend.
"Say, why have you guys just snapped like that?" said Eddie.
"What do you mean?" said Dolores.
"Well, first you said this whole Cannonball thing was just a waste of time. But now you've coming up to me saying that want to join me?"
"Well," said Jessica grinning, "Roger did tell us about the heavy amount of cash we get for winning this race." Eddie looked at Roger who winked at him.
"Well, I'm glad you could help me! You're just in time to see my creation!" said Eddie.
Eddie lifted the giant blanket from his ultimate vehicle.
"May I introduce to you all, the Ratfang!" By this time Herman had caught up and even he, along with the others gazed at amazement at the blue ambulance like vehicle. It had a red siren on top and could fit four eager racers perfectly. There was lots of space in the back besides.
"Wait until you see the plasma pulse cannon I've installed in this baby." Eddie laughed. "Anyone want to go for a drive test?"
Nobody answered. Eddie looked at his Ratfang and tried to inspect the trunk to check if there was anything dirty in it. He always wanted make his vehicle clean on the first day of the race, after all.
"Eddie," said Roger, "if there's anyone who can drive a vehicle like that one, .it has to be 'Him'.
Eddie's head slammed on the trunk door when trying to get out. The others just looked at Roger.
"Oh, no." said Herman putting his hand to his face.
"Here we go." Said Dolores.
"Oh, Victor Prinzey, look what you've done to your only pupil, Roger." Sighed Jessica.
"No, Roger," said Eddie sternly, " 'Him' cannot……and I mean will not……drive the Ratfang."
"Please Eddie, I promise 'him' won't make any accidents." Said Roger pleading to his knees.
After about fifteen minutes of constant begging, Eddie finally gave in.
"Oh, alright!" said Eddie getting a little annoyed. "But if there's one scratch in this baby, and you're through!"
"Okay, Eddie!" saluted Roger. He immediately rushed to the back of the Ratfang and jumped in.
"Hey, Roger! What are you doing?" said Eddie as he saw his shaking vehicle move back and forth.
"Wait, Eddie." Said Jessica.
"DUN DUN! DUUUUUN!" Roger popped out of the sliding door of the Ratfang, dressed up in an orange cape with an orange mask that covered his whole head.
"Captain Chaos! At your service!" said Roger as the new Captain Chaos.
"Jesus, help us." Said Eddie.
"Hop on, people! We're going for a ride of your life!" said Captain Chaos hopping to the front seat of the car and fastening his seat belt. Eddie, Dolores and Jessica got onto the Ratfang leaving Herman and Benny behind, "Here we go!"
"No, Captain Chaos!" the Ratfang drove off in the city streets before the other three riders could put on their seatbelts. They almost tumbled over as Captain Chaos drove right through the metallic garage doors.
"Fools! How could you let that yellow mouse get away from you again!" shouted Giovanni to the three bumbling fools known as Team Rocket in his office.
"How were we supposed to know that Pikachu was clever enough to break through our cage?" said Jesse.
"How can three idiots be working with me?! Explain that!" Giovanni got outraged.
"Well, all they have to do is fill in some forms and……" James got knocked on the head by Meowth.
"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP, JAMES!!!!!! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT HE GOT AWAY!!!!!!!!" said Meowth as angry as their boss.
"Yeah! You were the one supposed to check that he wouldn't get away!" added Jesse.
"SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!" said Giovanni once again slamming his fists onto his desk. The three clowns stood still like statues, terrified by their boss' shout. "Listen, today…..I have another mission for you."
"Oh, do we have to catch that stupid mouse again? I'm tired." Moaned James.
"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Jesse and Meowth.
"Thank you Jesse and Meowth." Said Giovanni calmly, "As I was saying, recently I've been told of a certain race competition…"
"OOOOOH!!!!! The soap box derby race?" said James. Jesse and Meowth smacked him on the face.
"No! You fool! This race has a very attracting prize. A prize of a certain amount of money which sounds most enjoying." Meowth's eyes began to sparkle.
"How much?" the cat said.
"A hundred million dollars." Said Giovanni calmly smiling while stroking his evolved Meowth Pokemon Persian.
"WOOOOOWZAAAAS!!!!!!!" the three jumped on their feet in delight.
"Think of what we can do with all that money!" said Jesse.
"Oh! Pokemon...lots of them!" said James dreaming that of swimming in a pool of Pokeballs.
"All the food you can eat!" Meowth dreamed of all the delicious food he could think of in a gigantic bucket.
"All the glamor and beauty!" Jesse saw herself trying on tons of expensive clothes and admiring herself through a mirror.
"We'll be rich! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" the three said sleeping on top of the hundred millions dollars they desired so much for.
"Ahem, Team Rocket." Said Giovanni clearing his throat. "Sorry to upset you here, but I don't remember saying anything about giving that money to you, that is, if you win. I intend to use that money for my own purposes." Team Rocket felt glass shatter in their minds. Their smiles slowly faded away and their faces turned blue. "But, on the other hand, if it means that much to you, I MAY reconsider, depending on how well you do in this race. And how well you handle my vehicle which I am happy give you."
"OH! THANK YOU, BOSS!!!!!!!" Team Rocket clapped their hands and held hands together, singing to each other and dancing. "We're going on race! We're going on a race! We're going on race! We're….." Team Rocket suddenly paused.
"Boss?"
"Yes, Jessie?" said Giovanni.
"Did you say you were going to give us a vehicle?" Giovanni nodded slowly and handed out an instruction manual which had a large photograph of the vehicle they were to race in. Jesse took the manual while James and Meowth closed in.
"HA! HA! Would you look at that!" said Meowth clapping his hands in amazement of the picture of the blue giant chopper.
"It's fantastic!" said James.
"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." A tear dropped from Jesse's eye.
"Indeed." Said Giovanni. "I call it the Switchblade. Has many surprises waiting for you."
"What do you mean?" said the three curious ones.
"You'll see." Grinned Giovanni. "Now go. The race starts in a week's time in New York. Don't be late. Dismissed."
Team Rocket left the room in extreme excitement and Giovanni heard their annoying songs from outside.
"We got a hundred million dollars! We got a hundred million dollars! We got a hundred million dollars!"
"Idiots." Sighed Giovanni leaning back on his armchair.
The four girls sat on their white Lamborghini Countach car called the Stiletto, watching the sun up in the sky emit its beautiful light.
"Ah….the sun's so beautiful at days like these." Said Michelle.
"Too bad not many people roam round here very much." Said Amara.
"You got that right." Said Lara Croft.
"So, do you think we're ready for the Cannonball Run?" said Joanna Dark.
"I think so." Said Lara lowering her black shades.
"Of course!" said Michelle giggling when Amara began tickling her.
"What are we waiting for?" said Amara. "We've only got a week before it starts!"
"Amara's right! We got to sign in quick!" said Michelle jumping up from her lying position.
"LET'S GO!!!!!!" the girls shouted as they hopped of the Stiletto and got in, driving once again onto the empty roads and dashing off in high speed along the path to their glory.
"Hello?" Buffy said as she entered the deserted gas station so called Boulder Hill. The vampire slayer was suddenly startled as a blue cage suddenly fell on top of her as three other figures came out of the shadows.
"Who are you?" said the man with the eye patch smoking his cigar.
"Who sent you." Said the masked man in black.
"Why are you here?" said the dark shadow giving Buffy an evil glance.
"Buffy….Buffy the vampire slayer. I'm just here to ask if you've got any gas." The three figures stood silent. "My friend Angel and I just ran out of gas in the middle of the desert. I was wondering if you guys had any gas that we could use. My car's only about a mile away."
"Buffy the vampire slayer, eh?" Said Nicholas Fury. "I've heard of you. You fight pretty good."
"Well, I guess you might come in handy." Batman smiled.
"What do you mean?" said Buffy anxiously.
"I can feel the power in your heart. I see that you are most worthy of joining us on new long lasting quest." Said Spawn clearing his red cape from his arms.
"What quest? Listen. I only came here to ask for some gas. Not for some dumb mission or whatever you guys are talking about." Said Buffy trying to get out of her cage.
"But this is no ordinary mission, Buffs." Said Nick, "We're on a mission to receive a hundred million dollars." Buffy gasped.
"A…..a…..a…..?" Buffy began to smile mixed with hesitation.
"You heard him, a hundred million dollars." Said Batman.
"Will you join us?" said Spawn.
Buffy suddenly kicked the bars of the cage, setting herself free.
"Join you? HA!" said Buffy, "Of all the people in the world….of course I will!"
"Will your friend Angel be joining us?" said Batman.
"Oh! Screw him! He doesn't deserve anything like this!" said Buffy running round like a headless chicken.
"Let's roll!" said Nick as he started the engines of Boulder Hill.
The entire gas station of Boulder Hill moved from its position and went along the sandy lands of cactuses and skeletons.
"What the…" Angel gasped to see a moving gas station pass by him. But then he saw Buffy waving at him.
"BUFFY!"
"Sorry, Angel! I'm in need once again!" said Buffy smiling, "Looks like you're on your own here! Gotta go!"
Boulder Hill finally reached the ocean where the giant vehicle got ready to enter the water. Its wheels changed into propellers when the station slowly went onto the surface of the water.
"Good thing Boulder Hill can go on water land and air. It's amazing! How did you guys build it?" said Buffy to the three super heroes.
"Well, let's just say it wasn't easy." Nick smiled while driving Boulder Hill as the vehicle dropped underwater with the propellers starting to spin.
"Sire! Must you leave so soon?!" Cain cried running down the stairs in the mansion.
"Cain, Death's asked me to come with her to the Cannonball. There's no turning back." Said Dream. Morpheus didn't really want to go. But once her sister said the prize money he just couldn't resist. It would make him a much richer lord of dreams.
"Wait for me…..YAAAA!!!!!!!!" Abel followed Cain down the stairs but tripped and tumbled over.
A loud shout was heard from outside.
"Coming, sis!" Said Dream.
"Please reconsider, sir!" Said Cain. "Who'll look after the place while you're gone?"
"Who else? You guys." Dream smiled. He headed for the doors and opened them.
Outside there was Death, leaning next to an orange ATV bike.
"What's that, sir?" Asked Abel.
"Death calls it the Battle Trakker." Said Dream.
"Come on!" Said Death waiting for her brother to get on the Trakker. "We gotta get to New York fast!"
"Cain, Abel, tell the others I'll be back. I've got a race to win." Dream put on his helmet and got on the driver's seat of the vehicle.
Speechless, Cain and Abel watched their master drive off into the dark.
"Well, at least we have the whole house to our self now." Smiled Abel.
"Oh, shut up!" Cain took out a knife and stabbed his brother in the heart, killing him. "See you tomorrow. You're doing the mopping up!"
"YEE-HAW!!!!!!" Jesse screamed when the three human sized toys drove the orange pick up truck the Firecracker along the amusement park named Toyland.
"Way to go, Woody!" said the Prospector to the driver.
"Riding cowboy!" shouted Woody as he drove past all the toy soldiers and children and all the other toys in Toyland. "At this rate we're sure to win the Cannonball Run!"
"But most importantly, that great heap of money." Said Stinky Pete rubbing his hands together. "Ain't that right, Jesse?"
Stinky Pete looked back at the truck and saw Jesse was gone.
"Hey, Prospector, Woody! Look at me!" shouted Jesse riding on her orange bike beside the Firecracker.
"Way to go, Jesse!" said Woody, not noticing that he had let go of the steering wheel when clapping his hands.
"WOODY! LOOK OUT!!!!!!" cried Pete before the Firecracker accidentally crashed through a gate and ended up landing in a blue Barbie swimming pool.
"Uh-oh." Said Jesse driving in. "Barbie's not going to like this."
"Don't say anything." Said Woody to Pete sitting still in the Firecracker trying to ignore the screams of Barbie from the side of the pool.
"AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Hey! Why can't I be in the race?" Serena cried like a spoiled brat in front of the other Sailor Soldiers, Darien and the Sailor Starlights outside of the shopping mall.
"Listen, Serena, we just think it's right if you people just stay put and support us." Said Amy.
"Oh? Then why's Hotaru going with you?" said Lita looking grumpy with her arms crossed.
"Well, one thing is that, well….." Amy tried to find the right words.
"Because I've never been on something as amazing as this!" said Hotaru.
"Oh, anything but this, Hotaru, anything but the Cannonball Run!" said Raye.
"Oh, come on. Give her a chance." Said Rini. If she wants to go she can go."
"But Rini, it's really dangerous stuff." Said Darien.
"That's right Darien." Grinned Serena sticking her tongue out at Rini.
"Oh, yeah?" Rini stomped Serena's foot.
"YEOW!" Serena began hopping round the pavement clutching onto her sore foot.
"Well, I guess it is pretty heavy stuff, having to travel round the entire world." Said Mina.
"I say we let her go." Said Trista.
"Oh, come on, Trista!" Serena got all boiled up. "You can't be serious! You need a lot of guts to be in the Cannonball Run! Like me!"
"Sure." Said Seiya. "Remember that time when you failed your driving test by driving into that café two weeks ago?"
"I was hungry!" Said Serena.
"You said you were thirsty!" Said Yaten.
"OH! You're so mean! I want to go on this race and that's final!" Serena complained.
"When you've learned how to drive." Said Taiki.
"Say," Amy looked at her watch, "Wasn't he supposed to be here by now?"
"Who?" everyone said apart from Hotaru.
"There he is." Pointed out Hotaru.
"Gangway! Coming through! Pardon me!" a male voice said in the honking of cars.
"He's here!" cried Amy. Within seconds the Saiyan fighter Goten drove out of the crowd of angry cars on his green motorcycle named the Condor. He braked on the road and stopped directly in front of the girls.
"I'm here!" said Goten taking off his helmet. Everyone looked at Goten as Amy and Hotaru stepped onto his bike, putting on their helmets.
"This is the man you're going to race with, I presume?" Said Kakyuu Princess.
"You bet." Said Amy.
"Say, you look pretty nice." Serena smiled. "Think you can fit one more girl with you on that bike?"
"Not with your big fat butt!" Said Rini.
"Why you!" Serena began chasing Rini.
"Don't mind her, Goten." Said Amy. "She's just a little upset that she couldn't race in the Cannonball."
"I see your point. But are you girls ready?" Goten said to the nodding Sailor Soldiers. "Let's go then!"
"Hey! Let me come with you!" Serena and the other girls cried chasing after the Condor as it drove off. Trista, Darien, Sailor Chibichibi, Kakyuu Princess and the Sailor Starlights did nothing but just waved the Condor when it drove off.
"Off they go!" Said Darien.
"Chibi! Chibi!" Sailor Chibichibi waved in Darien's arms.
"God speed, Hotaru and Amy." Said Trista. "Hope you beat Amara and Michelle."
"YIPEEEEE!!!!!" exclaimed Donald Duck as Goofy launched the orange boat of their orange beach jeep vehicle the Gator along the side of the crowded beach.
"Gawsh! He really took those boat-driving lessons well. And I hope we can get all that money! Thank you Cannonball Run!" said Goofy, "And I hope my new driving skills for the race can help as well."
Donald drove through the sea like a swift running cheetah. He couldn't help but laugh when he realized how fast he was really going.
"A hundred million, here I come!" he said. His attention was however suddenly drawn to several young girls on another boat, which Donald happened to pass by. "Hiya toots!" He looked back and let go of his steering wheel.
"AAAAAA!!!! LOOK OUT!!!!!!" The girls pointed ahead.
"Donald, in front of you!" Cried Goofy.
As Donald looked forward again……
"WAAAAAACK!!!!!!" Donald literally cut through a small fishing boat and soon afterwards drove right into a large holiday boat with thirty or so people on it, making nothing but a large black hole on the side of the boat.
Goofy opened his eyes slowly to see if the accident was over. Many angry shouts were heard from the dog's ears.
"Hey, what's the matter with you?!"
"Watch where you're going!"
"Now look what you did, you stupid duck!"
"Gawsh. I hope Donald's okay." Goofy bit his nails.
"God, damnit! There's no parking space!" Daffy Duck whined. The parking space outside the art studio was completely full. "Guess we'll have to do this the old fashioned way. Right Wild E.?"
Wild E. Coyote nodded and went full speed into the building just ahead.
"Thank you very much, people! This work of art is something I call…" Jackson Pollock and the guests quickly jumped away when purple a Kenworth W900 truck crashed through the newest painting Pollock had made. "What the….?"
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen!" Daffy Duck waved out of his truck. He soon got out along with his friend Wild E. Coyote.
"Hey, Daffy," said Pollock. Daffy just ignored the artist and resumed with his talking.
"May I introduce to you the Rhino! The best of the best of the best vehicles ever to compete in the Cannonball Run!" the duck went on.
"SECURITY!!!!!!! WE GOT A DUCK AND A COYOTE IN THE ROOM!!!!!!!" Pollock shouted.
"It's stupendous! It's magnificent! It's fantastic! It's a must win vehicle, folks! It's….hey!" Daffy and Wild E. Coyote struggled with the security as a loud fight began. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY HUMANS!!!!!!"
"You stupid duck! You ruined my painting!" Pollock picked up a chair.
"Remember people! Please support your old friend Daffy Duck to win the greatest race on Earth!" said Daffy Duck.
"Give him the chair!" the crowd shouted.
Pollock slammed the chair on Daffy, breaking it as the duck got knocked out.
"You're...despicable...."
The whole cheered at the mighty man as he bowed at the audience. Wild E. just sighed and slapped his hand to his face.
"All right, Connelly. Way to go!" Said Billy Elliott in the grasslands of Scotland. He was looking at the yellow pickup truck which was supposedly to win the Cannonball Run in New York. "With the Desert Fox, we're unstoppable!"
"Aye." Said Billy Connelly. "And I've brought some friends with us too."
"Who?"
Billy Connelly stepped sideways to show a familiar looking mime.
"Marcel Marceau?!" Billy Elliott exclaimed. "Why'd you pick a mime for the race?"
"Can't you his hidden talent? He's a funny fella! HA! HA!"
Elliott shrugged.
"Oh, here's another one, Elliott."
"Right! Are we guys ready or what?" Richard Simmons jumped into the scene. "Let's all head off for New York and win that race! Come on people!"
"Oh, great!" Cried Elliott covering his face. "Just what I needed!"
"Am I in the right place?" Mike Tyson said to the figures standing in front of him in the empty garage room.
"Of course you are!" said Hitomi Kanzaki taking the invitation card from Tyson's hand.
"Wow. THE Mike Tyson!" shouted Flint the Time Detective.
"You can say that again!" said Rocky Hammerhead.
"Pleasure to meet you." Said Ranma in his male form.
"Can we have your autograph?" said the female voices of Kiyone, Mihoshi, Sakura and Holly.
"Me too." Mike Tyson looked down to see Hello Kitty pulling on his pants.
"Mike Tyson!" the voice of the White Ranger shouted, "It's a great honor to see you here! Gosh! I don't believe it!"
"And I don't believe I should be here. I'm outta here." Mike Tyson around and tried to head for the door.
"Wait, wait, wait. Mr. Tyson." Heero halted Mike from the door. "Sorry about the confusion but you really are meant to be here."
"Yeah, we invited you to come with us." Said Hitomi.
"Hang on, hang on, hang on!" said Mike. "What the hell are you talking about? Where am I going?"
"Why? To the Cannonball Run!" said Sakura smiling joyfully at the muscular boxer.
"The what….?"
"There's a hundred million dollar prize to the winner." Added the White Ranger preparing the Red Camero car for the race with Ranma.
"But….." Mike paused, perhaps he COULD join these guys on this race, a little free money wouldn't hurt for him, "…..sure. Why not?" The characters cheered in excitement as their championship boxer decided to join them. "But why have you guys picked me?"
"Well, we thought we needed somebody tough enough to scare away crooks who try to steal the Thunder Hawk. So we thought about you." Said Holly.
"What's the Thunder Hawk?" said Mike.
"Ranma!" said Heero.
Ranma and the White Ranger backed away to reveal the Red Camero car. Mike Tyson rubbed his eyes and gasped.
"Meet the Thunder Hawk. Future victor of the third Cannonball Run!" said Heero as everyone in the garage danced and clapped their hands together for a work well done.
M handed James Bond a jet pack in her office.
"What's this?" said James.
"It's what you ordered. The Rescue Mission. That thing you wanted to use for that Cannonball Run. Is it not?"
James nodded as he took the heavy jet pack equipment and the accessories that came with it. The jet pack was more like a kind of chopper pack as its propellers were seen on it. There came with it a red pair of skis, a belt, a grappling hook and best of all, a red long Rocket Launcher with heat seeking missiles. James' eyes bulged open at what the Rescue Mission had to offer to him. He was quite impressed.
"Listen, 007, this race is just a complete waste of time. Don't you have better things to do? Maybe…." M was interrupted.
"Well, I think I'lll….." James accidentally pressed the firing button on the rocket launcher. As a result the missile shot out of the room as thousands of people ducked for cover. The missile whizzed round the room for seconds before it eventually made its way out of the M16 building and blew up part of Big Ben. Glass shattered everywhere as people below fled from the raining objects.
"007…" M sighed.
"Sorry, M, guess it's true what they say about butter fingers. I just had my lunch and…."
"What are you talking about?!" said M angrily, "Look what you've done to my beautiful desk! I just bought it this morning!"
"(Hello and welcome!)" said the Japanese TV show presenter. "(Today we have a very special guest star! Ladies an gentlemen, please welcome Japan's No. 1 scientist, Dr. Slump!)" The Japanese audience applauded as Dr. Slump made his way onto the stage.
"(So, Dr. Slump, what is this so called Raven that you've been talking about? You say it's what you're going to race with in the long awaited Cannonball Run.)"
"(Well, the Raven is the very first completely computer generated car. Inside the Raven our computer machine, called Shizuku, operates everything you command. It can turn into a submarine boat and even into a jet fighter!)"
The audience oo-ed and aah-ed in delight.
"(Wow, that sounds very interesting, Dr. Slump. Where's our friend Doraemon? Japan's No. 1 car racer.")
Everyone applauded.
"(He's in the bathroom. He'll be here in a minute.)"
Everyone laughed.
"(Well, while we're waiting for him, may we see this so called Raven of yours?)"
"(Of course!)"
"(Raise the curtains!)" said the TV presenter. The red curtains at the center of the stage revealed a black Corvette car spinning slowly round a circular platform at the surface of the ground in a clockwise direction.
"(Isn't it a beauty?)" said Dr. Slump.
"(HELLO!)" Doraemon popped out of the car along with Ga-chan and Arale Norimaki.
"(OH NO!!!!!!!)" cried Dr. Slump.
"(Hey, Dr. Slump!)" said Doraemon waving, "(Just having fun here with Arale and Ga-chan!)
"(You idiots! GET OUT OF THERE BEFORE YOU TOUCH ANYTHING DANGEROUS!!!!!)" shouted Dr. Slump getting all red.
"(Oh, you mean like this)?" Arale pressed a button on the side of her chair.
"Firing blades." Said Shizuku.
"(Get down!)" Shouted Dr. Slump before a red razor blade shot out of the front of the car and sliced its way through wall and out into the streets. Not long after the crashing of cars could be heard before police sirens followed shortly afterwards.
"Squall, you're going too fast!" yelled Seifer Almasy to Squall Leonheart.
"I know what I'm doing, Seifer." Said Squall steering their blue 57 Chevy car called the Hurricane.
"Oh, sure, even after you hit that police car a few blocks back. Now they seem very pissed off to the sound of those sirens!" squirmed the young Yuffie Kisaragi at the back of the car.
"SHUT UP, YUFFIE!!!!!!" shouted Squall and Seifer at the same time. Vincent Valentine sat silently with Yuffie, watching the three bicker endlessly.
"Vinnie, don't just sit there. Back me up here!" Vincent just sat in motionless trying to ignore the young ninja bugging him every second. "Well, stop acting like a couch potato and come help me!"
"Look, Squall. Let me drive!" said Seifer reaching over Squall for the driving wheel.
"HEY, SEIFER!!!!!! STOP IT!!!!!!" It was too late. The Hurricane immediately dashed off the road and went crashing into a clothes shop, the window glass of the store shattered everywhere while people fled for their lives.
"Aw…..shit….." said Squall leaning his head on the steering wheel. Everyone just kept quiet as they all walked out of the vehicle. The cops got out of their police cars and pointed their guns at the four riders.
"Put your hands up." Said a cop. The four did as he said.
"Now….can somebody tell me who the hell wrecked my car?"
Squall and Seifer pointed their fingers to Yuffie who stood between the two SeeDs. Yuffie crossed her pointing arms to both Squall and Seifer. Vincent did nothing but watch.
"Vinnie…."whispered Yuffie, "This is the part where you try to save my ass!"
"Of all the people in the world, Cloud, " said Vincent to himself sighing in grief, "Why did you have to pick me to protect Yuffie for this stupid Cannonball race?"
The two camel riders in the desert stood beside the road, making sure it was safe to cross.
"(You see anybody?)" said one of them in Arab.
"(You have to watch out for Corvax. You never know when he'll be here.)" replied the other.
"(Oh, come on! What can he possibly do? That green skinned big nosed freak's a looney!)" the rider led his camel onto the road. It wasn't even a second after that a purple 300 ZX car literally flattened the foolish person and his dumb camel. The other rider just shook his head after Corvax drove off along the road.
"(Uggg....that Sheik thinks he's a god damn race driver!)" Said the flattened rider getting up from the sandy ground.
"(He's run over six of my camels so far, including this one.)"
"(That's the last time I let him ride my goats through the oasis.)"
Corvax the Terrible Sheik stopped his car, the Manta, at his palace as two muscular canine friends opened the door for him.
"Thank you, my friends. The two of you will be racing with me next week! Get ready!" Corvax said before making his way to Princess Sylvie behind the palace.
"Hello, Sylvie!" Corvax found Sylvie sun bathing near a swimming pool with four servants waving feathers at her for coolness. Sylvie lifted her shades.
"So how does your driving go, Corvax?" She said watching Corvax take his seat right next to her.
"Allah be praised!" Corvax grinned. "My speed is only rivalled by the lightning bolts from the heavens!"
Thunder struck from the sky. Sylvie shook her head. He was still obsessed with that race.
"And I suppose you still intend to go through that race?"
"The Cannonball will fall into forces of Islam!" Corvax said as thunder struck once again. "My dear Sylvie. I shall become the king of kings!"
Thunder struck the third time. But heavy rain happened to follow by, and within seconds every was soaking wet.
"Hey. Mr. Conductor, what's that?" asked Edward in the train station with all the other engines.
"I heard it's some sort of vehicle that Mr. Conductor's going to use for that….what's that race called?" Said Thomas the Tank Engine.
"Oh, you mean the Cannonball Run!" said Toby the tram engine.
"Yeah, that's it!" said Thomas.
"Well, if Mr. Conductor DOES get that load of money. I hope he can get us new wheels and engines and stuff." Said James. "And a nice new red coating for me!"
The other engines discussed more and more while Mr. Conductor used a crowbar to break open the cargo box that contained the robot vehicle code named T-Bob, which was written on the side of the wooden box.
"HA! Finally have it open!" said Mr. Conductor. "Harold the helicopter, eat your heart out!"
A small white robot made its way out of the box, greeting Mr. Conductor.
"T-Bob at your service." Said T-Bob. The robot had wheels for feet, and as a result ran over Mr. Conductor right foot.
"AAAGGHH!!!!!!!"
"AAGH? What's that supposed to mean?" said Percy.
"My apologies, sir." Said T-Bob backing up. "Let me massage that foot for you sir."
"No, no, no. It's fine. You may leave it."
"Very well, sir." Answered T-Bob.
"Hey, you're not bad looking. You're pretty nice too." Said Mr. Conductor patting the white robot on the back, not noticing that he had pushed the red button.
"Battle stations!" T-Bob said in a low and military like voice. T-Bob's wheels lowered down as one wheel bulged forwards while the other two bulged backwards to make two foot floors.
"Um…..Mr. Conductor." Said Thomas shaking in fear. The yellow innocent eyes of the sweet loving robot soon turned infra-red.
"Terminate…." T-Bob said.
"Oh…crap….." said Gordon shutting his eyes.
Red laser shots out aimlessly from the robot's eyes. Mr. Conductor did all he could to stop the crazy thing from wrecking the whole shed.
"Terminate…...terminate……terminate…… ."
"Shut up, you god damn robot! SHUT UP!!!!!!" yelled Mister Conductor.
"It's gone berserk!" cried Edward. "Where's Terence the tractor when you need him? He could shove this guy out of this shed!"
"I'll terminate you." Said Mr. Conductor as he pressed the red button on T-Bob's back again to make back into his old self once more. "Phew! That was lucky." He said wiping the sweat off his forehead.
"Greetings, I am T-Bob."
"AAARGH!!!!!" Mr. Conductor yelled once more in pain when T-Bob treaded on his other foot.
"Sir Top n' Hat's never going to believe this." Said Henry looking round the shed, observing the damage T-Bob had caused.
"Oh, thank God……uh……" said Principle McVicker standing outside his precious school, hoping that Beavis and Butthead wouldn't turn up. "Thank God those two bastards aren't here today to wreck my everything…...uh…...I got some very important visitors coming today….uh……"
"Huh, huh, huh."
"Heh, heh, heh."
"Hey, I know those voices……OH NO!!!!!!!" said McVicker as he caught sight of a large blue monster van drive along the street, running over and crushing the parked cars that got in the vehicle's way.
"YES!!!!!" Beavis and Butthead shouted in their monster van the Volcano. Butthead turned up the volume of heavy metal music in the vehicle and they purposely ran over McVicker's car. It was then followed by Mr. Vandriesen's hippie car.
"THIS KICKS ASS!!!!!!" said Butthead.
"WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH!!!!!!" said Beavis thinking about the Cannonball Run.
"WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE, BABY! YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!" said Butthead before he and Beavis sang with their rock music in the Volcano.
"Uh…..Beavis and Butthead!…..uh….." said McVicker pointing to the two boys up in the monster van, "You're both expelled!"
"ALRIGHT!!!!! THIS IS COOL!!!!!!! WE'RE REALLY GOING FOR IT, BUTTHEAD! WE'RE GONNA BE RICH!!!!! HEH, HEH, HEH!!!!!!" Beavis was getting over hyperactive.
"Calm down Beavis, we gotta test this thing some more before the race next week. C'mon."
"Cool….let's go run over Stuart's house!"
"Hey, Stu." Said Didi Pickles.
"What is it dear?" said Stu filling up the fuel in the gas station.
"Isn't that the house of Richie Rich?"
"Ah, I don't trust that boy." Said Stu.
"Why not?" Didi replied as Dill listened to their conversation.
"Haven't you heard? That kid's gone haywire since the Cannonball Run was announced last month."
"What's the Cannonball Run?" asked Didi.
"Oh, great." Said Stu "Here we go."
While Didi listened closely to Stu, Dill got himself out of his seat and quietly opened the car door. Without any notice Dill crawled across the road and into the gates of the mansion of Richie Rich.
"This way, ladies and gentlemen." The butler led the guests to the backyard of Richie Rich's mansion.
"Gosh. It was pretty nice of Richie to invite us with him to the Cannonball race." Said Gonzo to the other Muppets.
"You'all think he'll actually turn up here?" said Elly May.
"He should. I heard he wanted to show us his racing vehicle." Said Wade Duck.
"You know, Fozzie." Said Kermit the frog.
"What's the matter Kermit?" said Fozzie the bear looking at him.
"Was it really necessary to bring the Swedish Chef with us?" The two of them looked back to see the goofy chef.
"What are you looking at?" the Chef said.
"Oh, come on. We need to have good food during the race you know." Said Rizzo the rat.
"Anyway, Richie wanted to have him on board with us." Added Gonzo.
"Excuse me?" the Muppets turned around to come face to face with Britney Spears. "Is this the Richie Rich residence?"
"Sweet mother of…" said Rizzo as the Muppets gazed at pleasure at the beautiful looking girl.
"Yes, you'all, you're in the right place, sugar." Elly May interrupted and the romantic music the Muppets' heads suddenly stopped.
A loud honking sound was heard in the distance.
"It's him." Said Wade.
The biggest ever seen white RV van approached the visitors and stooped right in front of them. A well hidden door slowly slid open on the side of the van and out came the dollar boy.
"Greetings, everyone. Welcome to the Slingshot!" Richie said coming out of the van with a glass of iced Coke. "May I thank you all for joining me on this great chance of a lifetime." Richie stepped back to make way for the droids chosen for this race as well. "Please meet my droids."
Out came C-3P0, R2-D2, Rosie and, the Robot.
"And finally, please meet our very special driver that will lead us to win the Cannonball Run!" Out came a brown Orangutan dressed in a driver's uniform. The guests were shocked by the his appearance.
"That's our driver?" said Britney.
"You gotta be kidding me!" laughed Wade. "It's a laugh riot! We're gonna go bananas with him if we don't find another driver!"
When Wade opened his eyes he saw the Orangutan looking at him closed up. And without warning, the Orangutan slapped Wade in the face and knocked him down onto the floor.
"Damn." Said Gonzo.
"That is one tough Orangutan." Said Britney.
R2-D2 spoke in his computer language.
"What did he say?" asked Fozzie.
"Well, he says that this Orangutan has been specially trained for this race." Said C-3P0.
"The chances for us winning the race are very high." Said Rosie.
"Very high. Chances are very high." Said the Robot.
"Sorry to disturb you, sir." Said the Butler approaching the crowd carrying a baby in his arms. "But I believe that this baby by the name of Dill Pickles by the tag on his shirt has stumbled into your mansion."
"Where are his parents?" asked Richie. His questioned was answered when Richie saw a car drive swiftly along the road behind his mansion gates. Richie couldn't help but sigh.
"Did you get the license plate on that car?"
"Sorry, sir, no."
"Will there be anyone in the house while I'm gone?"
"My apologies sir."
"Oh, well. Looks like we have to do some babysitting on this race as well." Everyone looked at Elly May and Britney.
"Guys?" aid Britney.
"What're you'all looking at?" said Elly.
"HA! HA!" Captain LeChuck cackled as his ship reached the shores of the island where his rival Guybrush Threepwood lived. "Bernard, lower the anchors!"
"Yes, sir." The nerdy boy saluted. "Lower the anchors!"
The ships stopped and the skeleton pirates bursted out onto land. But they all halted just before their feet left the sandy area. For at that instant a dune buggy car dashed past them all. It then turned into a small helicopter and flew out from the island.
"What was that?" Said LeChuck trying to look through the sand flying everywhere.
"I believe it was Guybrush and Elaine Threepwood, sir." Said Bernard. "I think they might be off on that Cannonball Run, sir."
"GAAAAAARRRR!!!!!" LeChuck was furious. "Call the attack off! We'll strike again once they come back! Ignorant fools."
Meanwhile…..
"Well, that was a daring escape." Said Elaine behind Guybrush, who was steering the helicopter. "Thanks, Durga. Your extra arms really helped us back there."
"Nothing at all." Said Durga sitting in between the couple.
"You really think the Head Hunter will win?"
"Elaine, have I ever doubted you? Me? Guybrush Threepwood, the mightiest pirate in the world?" He said.
"Well, there was that time you promised to get me some new underwear and……"
"Um, okay….forget what I said." Guybrush interrupted. "But believe me. It's gonna take a lot of guts to beat us!"
"Sure." Elaine gave a sarcastic smile.
"Hello. Officers. Here to enjoy the fun?" the clowns chuckled as the police tried to get into the circus.
"Out of our way. You clowns. We need to make an arrest to somebody." Said the police chief.
"But we are clowns." Said the clowns as they continued to block the policeman's way in order to give a certain friend of their's to escape.
"HA! HA! Very funny!" said the police chief sarcastically. "Now let us through."
"YUK! YUK! YUK! YUK! YUK!" the clowns jumped around the policemen juggling balls and squirting water in their faces.
"LET US IN!!!!! WE NEED TO ARREST BOZO THE CLOWN!!!!!!!!!"
"HAY! HAY! HAAAAY!!!!" laughed Bozo waving as he drove through the tent on his Dune Buggy car called the Firefly. The clowns, acrobats, the animals, and the children cheered and waved at Bozo as he made his clean escape from the police.
"There he is, men." shouted the police chief, "There's that bastard that almost ran me over on the highway! After him!" The policemen got in their cars and drove off like the speed of light.
"Go, Bozo!" cried the Ringleader of the circus. "Go for the money! We're all counting on you!"
"Got you!" said Action Man dressed in a commando suit wrestling with Max Steel in the jungle.
"Oh, come on, Action Man. I didn't man to steal all your fame and glory. Honest!" squealed Max.
"Oh, I believe you." Action Man said, "But my Jungle Challenge doesn't!" He pointed to his jetpack attached to him.
"But….."
"I think I'm gonna kill you right here." Action Man aimed his crossbow at Max Steel.
"NO! DON'T! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!!!!"
"Why? Because you're a wimp?"
"YOU CAN STILL CLAIM YOUR FAME YOU'VE LOST!!!!!!! I'M SERIOUS!!!!!"
"Oh, really? Do go on."
"There's a hundred million dollar prize to winner of the Cannonball Run next week." Action Man smiled.
"Well, that's an actual turn of events. There hasn't been a Cannonball Run for almost twenty years. How do I know you're not making this up?"
"You have to believe me. It starts in New York, the race." Action Man paused for a few silent seconds before he got up and spared Max Steel from death. "Please. I'm telling the truth. The word's been spread everywhere round the world!"
"You better be right about this. Cause I'm definitely gonna enter this race for all that damn money. So, I'm gonna consider you a loose end. See you later." Action Man suddenly took off in the sky leaving Max to himself.
"Well, at least I didn't get hurt." Said Max Steel before he fell right down into a deep raging waterfall. "WAAA HA HAAA!!!!!!"
The three Dalmatians Lucky, Cadpig and Rolly waited beside the dock bay waiting for Spot to come back with their boat for the anticipating race next week.
"Where is she?" said Lucky impatiently.
"She should have been here ten minutes ago with our driver." Said Rolly. "My stomach's growling!"
"Wait! Here she comes!" cried Cadpig pointing out to the ocean.
"ANDALE! ARRIBA! ARRIBA! ARRIBA! ARRIBA! YE-HA! HA!" a voice laughed as the small blue inflated boat called the Coast Patrol arrived at the scene, splashing the three puppies when it came to a stop.
"Hi guys." Spot waved. The Dalmatians were surprised to see who Spot had hired as their boat driver for the Cannonball Run.
"Hello, amigos, buenos dias. Spot has told me so much about this race. I'm in." the Mexican mouse said.
"Spot? You hired Speed Gonzalez to drive the Coast Patrol?" said Lucky in a painful tone.
"Well?." grinned Spot, "He is the fastest mouse in Mexico. So I thought maybe we pick him to help us win the race."
"Oh, brother." Said Rolly.
"This is not going to be easy." said Cadpig.
In the colorful grassy fields under a rainbow, a young girl named Rainbow Brite was preparing herself for the Cannonball Run next week.
"Rainbow Brite, are you sure you're going to be okay?" Asked Twink.
"I'll be fine, Twink. You people just stay here. This race is really dangerous." Said Rainbow Brite. The sliding door of her race car opened. It was a futuristic car covered in gold paint.
"Gee, Rainbow. What's that car called?" Asked Patty O'Green.
"Yeah. It really looks beautiful." Said Lucky.
"I call it the Shadow Stalker!" Said Rainbow.
"You're not going to have any second thoughts, are you?" Said Shy Violet.
"Positive."
"Who'll look after the place while you're gone?" Said IQ.
"Don't worry!" Said Red Butler. "We can take care of ourselves!"
"I guess that's an idea." Said Romeo.
"I've been told that race is….illegal." Uttered Starlite. "You should really watch yourself Rainbow Brite."
"Illegal?" Said Indigo.
"Isn't that bad?" said Hammy.
"Could be worse." Said Buddy Blue. "She could be wrecking up the entire highways just by looking at the speed she rides on you, Starlite."
"You have a point there." Said Starlite.
"But haven't you heard the prize money?" Said Canary Yellow.
"What?" Asked Champ.
"A hundred million dollars." Said Spark.
Silence.
"Well, I guess we should Rainbow do her stuff, then." Said Starlite.
"So long! Take care!" Said Rainbow before she left her friends.
"See you!" Waved Twink.
"BYE!"
The others started waving as Rainbow left for New York in maximum speed. So fast that she made many of the flowers fly everywhere.
"Boy, that's one fast girl you don't want to toy with." Said Buddy Blue.
"Hey, Dr. Strangefate, how's it hanging?" Said Jade Nova lighting up a cigarette with her green ring.
"What does big bad Strangefate want now?!" Shouted Skulk. Jade Nova tried to calm him down after their recent fight.
"You want out assistance, hunk?" Said the White Witch.
"Here you are, sir." Said Myx. "Your favorite trio at your service."
"Thank you, Myx." Dr. Strangefate got up from his throne and descended down to the four.
"What is it, this time, dear?" White Witch winked.
"I have a very important assignment for you all." Strangefate continued. "You are all to aid me on my victory for the upcoming Cannonball race."
Everyone, including gasped in fright.
"The Cannnonball Run?!" Jade's cigar dropped from her mouth. "I'll pass thanks."
"Um…..ask Skulk!" White Witch pointed to the grey muscleman.
"NO!" Skulk shook his head and hid his face. "Skulk scared! Skulk hate dangerous Cannonball!"
"Very well," Said Strangefate, "What about you, Myx?"
"Please reconsider, sir." Myx shivered. "But I can find you some other people that can help."
"Fine, then. Send them here now, before I'm going to have to force these three goons to come."
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" The three agents backed away and held onto each other.
"Here you are, sir." Myx performed his teleportation magic and managed to bring in two more individuals inside the throne room. " I give you…..the Twits."
"Who are you supposed to be?" Mr. Twit said from out of the smokes.
"Oh! That helmet you're wearing looks pretty nice. Can I wear it for a bit?" Said Mrs. Twit.
Strangefate felt like fainting by the looks of the hideous couple. But nevertheless, they were better than nothing.
"Myx." He sighed. "Send in the Thunderwing."
"Yes, sir."
Once again, with his magic, Myx formed fumes of smokes and out of them, a silver fighter plane appeared.
"Come, you Twits…..off to New York." Strangefate looked at the Twits, who were just fighting each other. "This going to take longer than I thought."
"Welcome, Agent Moulder." Said Agent K.
"Glad you could come." Said Agent J.
Moulder walked down the long quiet hall with both agents by his sides.
"Excuse me, um, guys, where are we going?" said Moulder.
"Wait and see." Said Agent J. The three stopped into a deserted garage room where a black Bronco stood in the center.
"Meet the Jackhammer." Said Agent K.
"This is what we're going to be racing in for the Cannonball Run?" said Moulder.
"Sure is." Nodded Agent J. Moulder walked forward to observe the Jackhammer thoroughly. Moulder gave a high whistle.
"This isn't bad. Not bad at all." Smiled Moulder.
"We want you to meet a few friends of ours." Said Agent J.
"Sure." Said Moudler.
"Step this way, then." Said Agent K opening the door of the Jackhammer. "Agent Moulder, meet the Martians."
Moulder looked to the back seats of the Jackhammer to find two alien Martians in green space suits looking back at him.
"They're….cute…." Said Moulder.
"Got 'em off Mars. We made a deal to split the money with them if we won. So that's how they kinda ended up here." Said Agent J. "Ain't that right, fellas?"
"DAK DAK DAK!" They replied.
"Hi, Natsu!" waved Tiffany Lords to the volleyball girl Natsu outside Gorin High School.
"Tiffany. Surprise seeing you here." Replied Natsu walking up to her. "Hey, look, there's Akira."
The girls waved at Akira who spotted them and joined in.
"Hey, Natsu, hey, Tiffany." Said Akira removing her helmet. "Have you seen Sakura or Hinata?" Natsu and Tiffany shrugged.
"Did you say Hinata and Sakura?" the girls jumped when Ran Hibiki suddenly scared them almost half to death from behind their backs. "They're off practising for that Cannonball race!"
"Oh, no." said Natsu sighing. "I told those two to get over that stupid race."
"What's this about?" Momo interrupted as she appeared with Incho, Zaki and Yurika.
"Sakura and Hinata are off in their little 'you know what'…." Said Tiffany.
"Oh, for crying out loud." Said Incho sighing in grief.
"Those two are at it again?" Said Yurika.
"What are you going to do? It can't be helped." Said Zaki.
"Say, girls. Shouldn't you be in your own schools at this time?" interrupted Kyoko taking off her glasses.
The sound of sirens were heard not far away.
"Oh, not this again." Said Akira.
A girl in a red leather outfit, wearing a helmet, waited patiently beside the side of the river that ran across the bridge near the school. She sat on her blue motorbike watching as a sidecar motorboat swiftly moved along the water creating waves as it passed by. The motorboat, with great skill, jumped off the water and landed right next to the motorbike, attaching itself to it. The motorbike drove off before the police boats could find them. The bike drove its way to the school where it stopped next to the girls.
"Sakura Kasugano! What have I told you about breaking the speed limit round here! You're not a daredevil driver, you know." shouted Natsu. Sakura took off her helmet and unzipped a little bit of her red leather outfit.
"Natsu. I'm sorry. But I'm just so excited about this race."
"Who's that in the sidecar?" asked Tiffany. The glass door slid sideways open to reveal a girl dressed in a light blue leather outfit wearing a helmet. She took off her helmet and there smiled Hinata Wakaba.
"Hey, girls!" Hinata waved happily.
"That's some pretty good driving on that motorboat you got there, Hinata." Said Kyoko. "But I wouldn't suggest you do that too much around here. Otherwise you'll be piled up with hundred of tickets from the police."
"Oh, you worry too much." Said Sakura.
"Yeah. The Piranha's sure to win that money if we keep our efforts this high up. And besides, I've been taking these boat driving lessons since I was eight." Added Hinata.
The girls just sighed and slapped their hands to their head.
"When will they learn?" said Natsu. "When will they ever learn of the pointless dangers these girls are going to go through."
"God help us." Said Kyoko.
"Hey, Stan, is this the place where they're keeping Charles Manson?" asked Kyle Broslovsky.
"Of course. I just want to visit him. I haven't seen him for months." Said Stan Marsh.
"You know, guys, I wonder if anybody has ever escaped out of this prison before." Said Eric Cartman walking across the pavement.
The four boys suddenly jumped when the prison alarms sounded and loud shouts of jeers were echoing from the prison itself.
"Get in the car!" shouted a female voice. Without a second more an orange GTO car crashed through the gates where a purple haired young girl wearing black shades drove out of the prison with Charles Manson by her side.
"BOYS!!!!!" Charles Manson cried when the car stopped beside the boys.
"Make this quick. I don't want to be late for the signing of the race." Said Ivy as she pointed her sword behind Manson's back.
"Jump onto the Stinger, boys! We ain't got much time!" Charles hesitated.
"Kick ass!" Cried Eric as the boys hopped on.
"MMPHMPMHM." Said Kenny.
"Let's roll!" Ivy floored the pedal of the Stinger before the police cars got out of the prison.
"Right, let's see if this time machine really works." Blossom pressed the buttons on her invention.
Puffs of smoke emerged from the opening glass doors. The Powerpuff girl took off her glasses to see if she had really succeeded on getting hold of the person she was seeking for.
"Howdy, partner!" Billy the Kid walked out.
"Oops, sorry! Wrong person!" Blossom pushed the cowboy back into the machine. "Back you go!"
Blossom made another attempt….
"Come here, child, come closer to me so that I can see you….." Said an old lady in white.
"Oh, no! It's Miss Havisham!" Blossom kicked her back from whence she came. "Now let's try to make this right this time!"
Upstairs……
"Okay, girls, I've already told you." Said Professor Utonium to Bubbles and Buttercup in the living room. "If you want to enter the Cannonball Run, you need at least one grown up to go with you."
"Oh, please, Professor." Buttercup pleaded. "We can take care of ourselves."
"Yeah. We don't need anybody to take care of us." Moaned Bubbles.
"I'm sorry, girls. Rules are rules. And I can't come with you because I'm really busy with my work."
"What was that?" said Buttercup as a loud crackling sound was heard from downstairs. It wasn't a minute later that Blossom came up the stairs accompanied by three familiar looking figures.
"Hey, Professor." Shouted the joyous Blossom. "Remember that time machine you built last week? Well guess what? I managed to get three grown ups to look after all of us! Now we can be in the Cannonball Run!" Out of the shadows came George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and William Shakespeare.
"Quite a girl you have there." Said Lincoln.
"Indeed. She's told us everything up to date in just minutes." Said George.
"Also about this Cannonball race I've heard of. I believe it has a very good prize money." Said Shakespeare.
"Good job, Blossom." Said Bubbles.
"Way to go. YAHOO!" said Buttercup giving Blossom a high five.
"But girls. There's one problem." Said Utonium. "Whatever are you people going to race in?"
"The Thunderball. I made it myself." Blossom took out a picture of their racing vehicle.
"It looks like a holding tank post." Said Buttercup.
"It looks like a holding tank post, but in fact it's a water vehicle with propellers underneath. It can go underwater and fly in the air as well!"
"Well….okay, girls. You can go to this Cannonball whatever you call it."
"Cannonball Run." Everyone in the room said.
"But make sure you bring back your friends after the race." Said Utonium.
The girls danced round and hugged their companions for the race that was soon to start.
"Emperor Kuzco!" Said his advisor.
"Yes?" The Emperor was eating his breakfast in the gardens. He didn't usually like being disturbed, but to the sound of his friend's tone, it looked as if it sounded pretty important.
"We have two visitors from America who are eager to join with you on the Cannonball next week."
"Send them here."
Minutes later…..
"Ah, Emperor Kuzco!" Said an 'old' lady stepping up to him. With her eccentric appearance, she looked like she was in her seventies. "What an honor it is to meet you!…..Come on Alessa, say hello to the Emperor."
A young girl stepped out behind the lady. She gave smile and gave a light wave.
"Hello…..um……please take a seat."
They sat down.
"So what's your name?" Asked the Emperor.
"My name is Dahlia Gillespie." The woman smiled at Kuzco. Her teeth didn't look too nice. A dentist is probably what she needed right now. She almost freaked him out.
"Um….right….forgive me for asking….but how old are you?"
"I'm thirty-three."
"Okay….um…..is this your daughter?" Kuzco pointed to the girl sitting left from him.
"Yes, would you like to tell the Emperor your name?" Dahlia smiled at her daughter.
"I'm Alessa…Alessa Gillespie." She said timidly.
"That's a nice name." Kuzco said. "Where are you two from in America?"
"Silent Hill." They both answered.
"……..Never heard of it……but I see you two are interested in the Cannonball Run."
Before Alessa could speak, her mother interrupted.
"Yes, we are. And it's a great time too. Because my daughter has just earned her driving license is dying to try her skills for this big race."
"But mother….."
"SHHH!!!!!" Dahlia snapped.
"Well, that sounds great. Let me show you our race vehicle."
Kuzco led the two down to the lower levels of his palace. They soon came to a stop in a large cave-like room.
"Light, please!" Kuzco ordered before the room torched up.
In the middle of the room there stood a green 4x4 pickup truck.
"Interesting…..isn't it, Alessa?" Dahlia nudged her daughter. "You could use your super powers and help us win the race….and that money….."
"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Said Alessa.
"Of course it's a good idea. And I'm sure Kuzco might even let us have some of his stuff in this palace if we win."
"I would like you people to meet, the Blazin Fury!" Kuzco shouted.
"Isn't it pure perfection?" Evel Knievel pointed to the giant jetpack covered in a glass box, a black hose and two arm cannons attached with missiles. "The perfect gadgets for my comeback in fame."
"It sure looks promising for you, Evel Knievel." Smoke said in his own talk show. "What do you call it?"
"I call it Venom's Revenge."
"Hmm….nice name for nice gadgets." Said Smoke. "Would you maybe like to show us a little more about these gadgets you wish to use in next week's Cannonball race?"
"It'll be a pleasure." Said Evel as he the glass box was removed. "Now as you can see here?"
But when Evel accidentally touched a button on an arm cannon a red missile launched right into the area where Smoke's band played their music. The missile crashed into the center of the drum and made a large explosion which affected the whole stage.
"Oops…." said Evel looking burned from the explosion.
"We'll…..*cough*…..be right back….*cough*….after these messages…." Smoke was coughing from the smoke, ironically.
"Oh, Duke! You're so HOT!!!!!" cried the naked girls in the hot tub filled with bubbles, clinging onto their one and only hero, Duke Nukem.
"Hmmmm……A-HA HA!!!" cried Duke, "Oh! That's nice! That's a really funny show they got there on TV!" He pointed to the giant screen in front of him.
The commercials began to roll on the TV. One of them viewed the announcement of the Cannonball Run.
"Duke, didn't you say you were going to join in that race?" said a girl stroking Duke's shoulder. Duke spat out the beer he was drinking and suddenly got up from his lying position.
"Holy cow!" cried Duke getting his towel. "I almost forgot. The race starts in only a week's time. I gotta run!" Duke got out of the bath and got dressed quickly.
"See you later, girls!" Duke waved at his babes while driving off in his red motorbike the Vampire.
"Come back soon, Duke!" the babes cried before he vanished in the mists of the shadows.
"Jumping Jesus!" Cried Michael O'Sullivan, also known as the Angel of Death. "That's one heck of a car you have there."
"No shit. It's one baby I've been keeping for this race!" Said Whiskers the Cat after he led Mike into his garage. The two of them observed the dune buggy car named the Desert Striker. "But Mike, aren't you supposed to be with your family and all?"
"Oh, they'll be okay. But I don't think our little friend will."
"Who do you mean?" Asked Whiskers.
Mike pointed to the big figure behind him. Elliot the dragon waved at Whiskers.
"Where's he going to sit?"
Whiskers didn't answer.
"Well, as long as you know how to drive, Tai, this shouldn't be a problem for us in the race." Said Matt looking at Tai's false driving license. The other Digidestined and the Digimon admired the giant oil tanker truck in which they were all going to race in the Cannonball Run.
"Don't worry, Matt. I've driven one of those little cart things back when I was eight at those Malibu places." Smiled Tai.
"Hey, Tai." said Sora walking up from behind him, "Aren't you going to get Takato and the others to join us?"
"Them? Huh! We don't need them." laughed Tai. "They'll ruin everything for us! Once we get this money, we'll be even more famous once again than them!"
"You really think so?" Asked Catherine.
"It'll be a cinch!" Said Tai.
"Hey, Matt!" waved Mimi. "Take a look at this!" Matt came to Mimi and she pointed to the large sign logo on the truck.
"Snake oil." Matt laughed. "Hey Tai, who's idea was that to put the logo there?"
"It was mine, Matt." Said Davis looking at the blonde teenager sternly.
"Is this going to fit all of us?" said Kari next to TK.
"I'm sure it will, Kari." Said TK.
"Yeah, Izzy built it himself. He knows what he's doing." Said Gatomon.
"Don't you think this is amazing, Ken?" said Yolei dancing round the garage.
"Impressive." Said Ken calmly. "I'm really amazed of how you did this Izzy."
"Oh, it was nothing. Thanks to Tentomon we got the Outlaw completed in just days rather than weeks." Said Izzy.
"You've really outdone yourself this time." Said Willis carrying Terriermon on his shoulder.
"Well, yeah….I guess….." Izzy began to hesitate. "There's just one slight thing that…."
"Come on, guys! Let's go take a look inside!" said Tai leading the way to the door of the Outlaw.
"Um…guys.…..there's something I have to tell you…..." Izzy along with Veemon, Davis and Tentomon, blocked the way.
"What's wrong, you guys?" said Michael.
"Remember Tai when you asked me to hire a doctor in the race in case any of us would get any injuries?" said Izzy.
"Yeah." Said Tai raising his brow. "Oh, yeah I did. I asked you and Davis to get somebody to accompany us."
"Well, he's in here."
"Oh, then, that's great!" said Cody.
"No! It isn't?" Davis shook his head as his head began to sweat, "Well….let's just say he's not your everyday doctor."
"Look, I don't care what you say, you guys, just let us in." said Matt getting angry.
"Um….how about tomorrow?" said Veemon.
"Now." Said Agumon.
"Okay," said Izzy getting the door handle, "But nobody say we didn't warn you."
Izzy opened the door to reveal a cross eyed old doctor staring into the eyes of the young children, whose faces grew pale in fright to the looks of their 'doctor'. Tai looked at Davis and Izzy in shock.
"Izzy….Davis…." That shock soon turned into a feeling of anger.
"Tai, don't get angry….." said Davis and Izzy backing up.
"COME HERE!!!!!!!" Tai ran for the two fleeing boys as the other stood still when the doctor walked out of the Outlaw.
"Allow me to introduce myself." Said the doctor as he coughed loudly onto the palm on his hand, then passing that hand onto Joe's clean hand. Joe couldn't help but shiver and stare at his now contaminated hand.
"I asked you two to get somebody professional…." Tai grasped the two Digidestined by the collars of their shirt, "…...and all you give me…...is some…..Quisimodo freak from the circus?"
"Tai….listen." croaked Izzy, "He was all we could afford."
"Yeah. Nobody else would help us!" said Davis. "You gotta believe us!"
Tai let go of them as sighed. He then took out a tissue and wiped his forehead.
"I hope this doctor is good, guys, because if he isn't, you two are really going to get it."
"Galvatron." The might voice of Unicron echoed in space.
"What is it, master?" Galvatron approached the giant orb calling out for him.
"Tell me, what knowledge do you know about this race which is being held next week on the planet Earth?"
Galvatron thought.
"Well, there're some kids in Illinois taking part in the Soap Box Derby….."
"No! Not that one, imbecile! I meant that global race."
"Oh, the Cannonball Run World Tour! Well, to tell you the truth, I've been told that the prize is one hundred million dollars."
"You speak the truth?"
"As clear as crystal, sir."
"Galvatron…." Unicron continued. "That money is mine…"
"Tell us, why are we're here in Paris again?" said Mary Pierce.
"Listen, some guy sent us all here at this spot to meet him." Said Pete Sampras.
"What does this guy want?" said Gabriela Sabatini.
"He said it was about that big race coming next week." Replied Pete.
"Oh! You mean the Cannonball Run!" said Anna Kournikova.
"The Cannonball Run? Wasn't that some kind of illegal race back in the 80's?" said Martin Hingis.
"Oh, don't be scared, Martin. I'm sure we won't get in too much trouble with the cops." Said Gabriela.
"Where is he?" said Mary looking at her watch. There was nothing to be seen from where they were waiting. All there was were some parked cars and a large power lift machine for cars right behind them.
"Sorry, mes amis." A French voice said behind the tennis players.
"Say, I know you." Said Martin.
"You're…..you're….." Anna was hesitating.
"Inspector Clouseau at your service." The French detective took off his hat and greeted the tennis players. "As you can see here is my vehicle for the Cannonball Run."
"Where?" the tennis players asked.
"Right here." Clouseau pointed to the power lift machine.
"I call it….er..the Ramp-Up."
"The…Hamp-up?" said Pete in a confused manner.
"What?" said Clouseau.
"You said….Hamp-Up."
"Yes…..the Ramp-Up."
"Oh! You mean Ramp-Up!" exclaimed Mary.
"Yes, that was what I was trying to say, you fool." Clouseau said sternly.
"Kind of odd to have this machine as our vehicle." Said Gabriela.
"No worries at all. Just hop in and we can all be on our way." Clouseau opened the sliding door inside the Ramp-Up and led the tennis players inside.
"It's nice in here. Quite comfy." Said Pete sitting on his seat.
"Tell us, why have you picked us to be in the race?" said Gabriela.
"What can I say? I'm a big fan of tennis! Right then. Off to America!" Clouseau stepped on the peddle and the Ramp-Up was off…....backwards that is.
"Oops." Said Clouseau as he crashed right into a parked car setting off its alarm. "Silly of me. Put the silly things in reverse. Ha, ha, ha."
"Stimpy, hurry it up! I don't want to be late for the race coming soon." Moaned Ren waiting inside the Billboard Blast, their vehicle for the race, which was in the shape of a tall billboard sign that had hidden propellers underneath for racing on water and it also acted as jets for the air. The Billboard Blast acted as a submarine too. "STIMPY!!!! Quit fooling around in the stupid forest!"
"Oh be quiet, Ren. I want to pick up some fish for the race in case we get hungry." Said Stimpy bending next to the river full of fish. But little did he know of the shadow hiding in the bushes nearby him. The shadow walked out of the leaves and slowly approached the fat cat near the river and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Ren! I'm back!" said Stimpy.
"Well, it's about time! Come on in! We have to get going!" said Ren as he opened the doors for Stimpy.
"Hey Ren." Stimpy said coming up and carrying his heavy load of fish. "Look who I met recently? He wants to join us too in the race." Ren turned around from his controls and gasped at the site of the giant sasquatch holding Stimpy's hand. Bigfoot grinned and waved at Ren.
"AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!" The cry of Ren echoed through the trees in the forest.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to 'Talking To The Toaster'!" Nick Diamond said to the audience.
"Please welcome tonight's guest stars, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin and Nemesis!" Johnny Gomez shouted.
Just like Smoke, little Toaster also managed to make his own talk show. His audience applauded loudly as the two mighty figures entered the stage waving back.
"Hey Toaster!" said Steve Austin shaking his hand.
"Errrrr…." Nemesis growled when Toaster shook his hand.
"Glad to have you two on the show." Toaster jumped back to his seat. "Now I heard from you that you two claim that you're going to be in that race everyone's been talking about next week?"
"That's right, Toaster. Me and Nemesis are going to kick some serious rear." Said Steve getting up from his chair as he turned on the TV nearby him. The screen showed a blue diesel truck spinning slowly round to show its appearance clearly. "As you can see. The Bulldog is highly armed with laser cannons, a chainsaw and a red launching missile. Nothing can beat the power of this truck."
"Very interesting. And is your friend slime bucket….er…..I mean, Nemesis….." The audience laughed loudly, but Nemesis roared fiercely from Toaster's insulting remark and bolted up from his chair.
"RRRROOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!" Nemesis approached Toaster and lifted up him up from his chair.
"Help!" Toaster cried, "Put me down! I'm sorry! Put me down! Please!"
"Put him down, Nemesis." Said Steve Austin. Nemesis looked at Steve and slowly put him down. "Easy there, pal. He was only pulling your leg."
"Phew!" Toaster sighed, "Well, talk about fowl temper."
"RRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!" Nemesis lifted him up again.
"SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!!!!!!!" cried Toaster.
"NEMESIS!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Steve Austin.
"No, Homer! And I mean no!" shouted the angry Marge Simpson to her pleading husband over the dinner table. She continued to feed Maggie.
"Oh, please, Marge! Let me and Bart go! It's a chance of our entire life!" said Homer Simpson.
"Please, mom! It's for a hundred million bucks!" said Bart.
"Sure….a hundred million bucks to risking your lives." Said Lisa smirking at her brother.
"Son, group up." Whispered Homer.
"Dad, what are we going to do? Mom won't let us race in that competition." Said Bart.
"Don't worry, boy. I've got a plan." Grinned Homer. "Oh, Marge!"
"What, dear?"
"I have to go to the bathroom." Homer ran quickly out of the room.
"Me too." Said Bart rushing behind Homer.
"Let's go, Bart." Said Homer as they rushed off to the garage.
"High five, man!" Bart laughed as they put on their racing uniforms.
"How long have they been in there, mom?" said Lisa.
"About ten minutes." Marge stormed out of her seat with Lisa when they heard the garage doors of their garage crash open.
"WOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!" cried Homer riding on the blue motorbike named the Bullet with Bart on his back.
"EAT MY SHORTS!!!!!!!" Bart shouted.
"D'OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lisa and Marge smacked themselves in the head.
"Should we call Dr. Hibert once they come back?" Asked Lisa.
"Don't bother." Marge snorted. "They'll learn their lesson once they come back."
"Thade, we're here on important news from Unicron." Said Tseng.
"Whatever it is, I'm not interested." Answered Thade. The for Turks were in Thade's office, in news of Unicron's desire of the money from the Cannonball Run.
"Please, guys, let me knock some sense into him." Said Reno taking out his staff. Rude gripped Reno's wrist and struggled with him.
"No, Reno. We're not here to hurt him." Said Rude.
"Attar, take these jerks out of my sight." Said Thade.
Attar took the four of them from behind and threw them out of the room.
"WHOA!"
They fell down the stairs, and landed piled up on each other.
"This isn't working." Said Elena. "Maybe we should contact the 'two'."
"Oh, Elena, please!" Said Tseng wiping the dust off his clothes. "I HATE those guys."
"It's the only way to give the message to Thade." Said Elena. "That guy's always fed up whenever he sees us."
"Okay…." Sighed Tseng. "All those in favor raise your hand."
Everyone apart from Tseng had their hand up.
Sergeant Mahoney waited quietly in the parking tollbooth, watching at cars come and go.
"Man, if only I had some people to join me in this race. Then I could get the hell out of this dump." He said sighing to himself. "Stupid Captain Harris telling me pay tolls here while the others get to have fun."
"Hey, mister, hurry it up here!" a voice shouted at him. Mohoney opened his eyes to see his dream come true. There were his companions…...well…not really…..at least he knew them all….
"Oh my God!" he cried.
"Well, hurry it up, mister." Popeye said with Captain Haddock next to him. Behind the car sat the fat Gaul Obelix holding Scuffy the little Tugboat. Next tom him in a small cage stood Jerry the Mouse and Sebastian the crab leaned outside against the cage.
"You guys?." Said Mahoney. "Do you realize what you people have won?"
"Um….a parking ticket?" said Jerry.
"One hundred million dollars for the race!" cried Mahoney.
"Officer? Are you feeling okay?" said Scuffy.
"Blistering barnacles!" cried Captain Haddock. "He's talking about that old Cannonball Run!"
"The Cannonball Run? I haven't seen one of those for quite some time." Said Sebastian.
"Well, sounds fun to me." said Obelix clapping his hands. "Please, Popeye, let's go!"
"Well, okay, why not?" said Popeye.
"Get in the tollbooth!" said Mahoney. Everyone did as he said and got in.
"Officer, why are picking us? I mean, anyone could just drive in here." Said Scuffy.
"Because I like you guys! I like all your shows!" Mahoney gave all of them a group hug.
"Um….we know….." said Captain Haddock trying to get out of Mahoney's hug.
"No, you don't." said Mahoney refusing to let go. "I REALLY like you guys."
"Maybe it's best if we just say thank you, guys." Said Sebastian.
"Thank you." They all said. Mahoney let them go and headed for the controls.
"Alright, then, let's go!" The tollbooth shifted from its position and moved smoothly along the road.
"Hey! What is this?" said Jerry.
"Gentlemen, meet the Collector." Mahoney smiled. "To the sea!" Mahoney drove the tollbooth to the sea and landed in with a big splash.
"Blistering barnacles! What are you trying to do? Drown us all?" said Captain Haddock.
"Well, blow me down!" said Popeye. "This tollbooth is like kind of hovercraft!"
"YEE-HA!!!!!!!!" Mahoney drove off along the water heading in the direction of where the race was soon to begin.
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" Pee Wee laughed waiting by the roadside with Gumby and the two little dinosaurs Petrie and Ducky.
"Would you mind not doing that?" said Petrie calmly
"Stop it. Yup, yup, yup!" agreed Ducky.
"I can't help it." Said Pee Wee, "It's what I always do when I'm this excited about that race."
"I can't believe Bob and Simon are actually making our racing vehicle out of a small gas station post." Said Gumby.
At that instant the moving gas station vehicle stopped in front of the waiting four. Bob the Builder and Simon the chipmunk stepped off the vehicle.
"Morning, everybody!" Bob said with a cheerful face. "Simon."
"Meet the Pit Stop Catapult!" Simon pointed to the vehicle. "I know there might not be too much room, but if we work together, it should be no problem! I predict that this race is going to go just fine with us!"
"Somebody please tell me this is a joke." Said Gumby.
"Somebody please tell me this is dream." Said Petrie.
"Nope, nope, nope." Said Ducky.
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" laughed Pee Wee.
"There goes another one." Said Hercules as he and Xena hitchhiked along the desert highway.
"Herc, I told you we shouldn't have gone through that stupid portal door, but NOOOOO. You just had the urge to do it." Xena complained.
"Well, if you didn't open your big mouth about…..." Hercules and Xena suddenly looked back to see a black smog of smoke explode into the air.
"Well I'll be?" said Xena before a road warrior riding on a black ATV buggy drove by. The two warriors hitchhiked again and the driver to their surprised stopped for them.
"You guys need a lift?" the road warrior said.
"Can you take us to New York?" said Xena.
"For the Cannonball Run? Well, what a coincidence. That's where I'm heading as well. You two hop on the Iguana. We're going for a bumpy ride." Said Max.
"Hey, Xena." Said Hercules. "Even when do get to New York, what are we going to drive with?"
"You're sitting on it, dumbo!" Said Xena.
"Yes, Lord Sauron, what is it you desire?" Said Saruman in his tower, his eyes shut and listening to the echoes in the cold air.
"I desire….a motorbike." The icy voice said.
"I beg your pardon." Said Saruman opening his eyes.
"Bring me the Road Heat."
Minutes later…..
The Orcs brought in the motorbike Sauron had asked for.
"Lord, if I may." Said Saruman.
"Speak."
"What do you want this motorbike for?"
"Saruman, there are times when even the most powerful rulers, must gain his wealth by winning a race……"
Just then, Sauron appeared before Saruman, who just went down to his knees and bowed.
"Lord, are you certain about this?"
"Yes, I am. The Cannonball will be mine. And I will reign supreme once I've finished. And all of Middle Earth will cower before me." Sauron got on the Road heat bike and started the engine. "In the meantime, why don't you try getting my Ring of Power while I'm gone? I'm sure Frodo and the others will be of no match for you."
"Yes, Lord. Best of luck on the race." Said Saruman. All the other Orcs in the room were cheering and clapping for their master.
"Luck has nothing to do with my victory." His lord said before he drove out of the tower, riding in the air. A black portal opened up ahead, and Sauron entered it. Its destination: New York.
"Sonic! Hurry it up!" shouted Knuckles the echidna.
"Sonic! We don't want to be late for the race!" said Tails waiting with Knuckles on the sides of their purple Indy race car, the Buzzard.
"Sonic, please don't get yourself hurt." Said Amy hugging the blue hedgehog.
"Amy, don't worry. You can see me in New York before the race starts." Said Sonic.
"Oh, okay, then." Sonic began to walk away. "Everyone will be there cheering for you, Sonic! See you then!" Amy waved at Sonic when he jumped in the single center seat of the Buzzard.
"Okay, Mario." Said Sonic as Knuckles and Tails closed their doors. "Let's see how good you really are." The Buzzard drove away from Emerald Hill Zone, leaving a trail of smoke behind and its own tire tracks too.
"Oh, great." Said Amy. "Who's going to clean this mess up?"
"You think that beagle's going to turn up with our jet fighter?" said Rocky the rooster to Rocky the squirrel and Bullwinkle the moose.
"He should be here any second now." Said Bullwinkle.
"Here he comes!" pointed Rocky the squirrel as a white jet plane surfaced down to the ground like a chopper in the abandoned baseball field.
"Thank goodness he didn't damage the Meteor." Said Bullwinkle. The jet fighter Meteor opened up and Snoopy jumped out of the vehicle taking off his brown helmet, cleaning his dirty goggles and removing his red scarf.
"How'd it go, Snoops?" said Rocky the rooster. Snoopy only reply was a simple nod and smile.
"I think it went well." Said Rocky the squirrel.
"Hello!" a voice boomed from the Meteor. All eyes set on the Meteor when the magicians Siegfired and Roy popped their heads out of the jet fighter.
"Siegfried and Roy!" gasped Rocky the squirrel.
"It looks like Snoopy here picked up a few friends during his training flight." Said Bullwinkle.
"Siegfried and I have been told of this Cannonball Run." Said Roy jumping out of the Meteor and shaking everybody's hands.
"Yeah. Can you tell please us more about this race?" said Siegfried.
"Rocky, Bullwinkle, would you like to do the honors?" smiled Rocky the rooster.
"No problem." Said Bullwinkle.
"Okay, dokey." Said Rocky the squirrel.
"Thank you for all coming." Said Mario dressed in his Mafia uniform, stroking his cat, sitting with different colored Yoshis in the dark room. Green Yoshi and Luigi stood side by side by Mario.
"Today we summon Link the elf with his new design for our vehicle for the race. Send him in." Said Mario. Luigi ordered the Yoshis by the doors to open them and in came Link with a black suitcase.
"Hi, guys." Said Link with a friendly wave. "Like your uniforms."
"I believe you have our vehicle ready and built?" said Mario. "You know how much I hate that blue annoying hedgehog. I wanna show him a little piece of what I'm made of."
"Er…..of course!" said Link getting out some papers from his suitcase.
"Take them." Mario ordered Yoshi to take the papers Link had. He passed it to Luigi who settled them down on the table for Mario.
"Hmmm….yes..." Mario observed the picture of the large Semi truck with a yellow formula one racing car at the back of it. "What do call this?"
"Oh, I call the truck Goliath 1. Pretty easy to learn in minutes. That formula one car on its back is called the Goliath 2. Made especially for you, sir." Said Link.
There was silence in the room for a few seconds until Mario sighed and got up from his chair.
"Link….oh Link….you've done it this time…..." said Mario in a somber tone. "I'm afraid I give you no choice."
Mario held Link's cheeks as if he was to give him the kiss of death.
"Please, Mario. I can make it better." Link said in fear.
"HEE, HEE, HEEEEEEE!!!!!!" everyone else began to jump wildly throwing up balloons and putting on party hats.
"Why bother, Link?"
"What's going on?" the confused elf said.
"You've done a magnifico job!" laughed Mario. "Luigi! Pack your bags! We're off to New York! And you're coming with us too, my elfy friend."
"Sure thing Mario. But don't call me elfy." Said Link walking with Luigi and Mario out of the crazy party room.
"(Bring me my helpers.)" The African god Youba ordered the High Priest to send in a wooden cage.
"Okay, what's this all about?" Said Top Cat. Apparently, Wally Gator, Snagglepuss and himself were going to become sacrifices to this Yoruba guy, or so they thought.
"(Ah, Top Cat, Snagglepuss and Wally Gator….)"
"What did he say?" Said Top Cat.
"I dunno. But I happened to have heard our names though." Said Snagglepuss.
"(I just love your shows. And you three are most worthy of helping me win the Cannonball Run.)
"Okay, Wally. Translate for us. You know Swahili better than I do." Top Cat crossed his arms. "And after that, see if you can ask them why the hell they knocked us out of our Safari trip and threw us into this mess!"
"He says he wants us to race in the Cannonball Run with him." Said Wally Gator.
"Listen, pal. If you're just trying to steal the Rattler, think again!" Shouted Top Cat. "That car is ours."
He pointed to his car which just opposite from where they were sitting. It was purple off roader car that had a hidden boat inside of it.
"(Ah, but I shall reward you these fine looking riches in addition to the prize money.)" Yoruba magically made golden coins and jewels appear inside cage.
"Okay….I take that back. You got yourself a deal." Said Top Cat rolling his eyes around the golden objects.
"OH HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" Cackled Shrieky.
"YUK! YUK! YUK! YUK! YUK!" laughed Beastly.
"DASTARDLY! You crack me up!" laughed the Grinch almost dying for breath.
"You can't be serious! We're all going to race on that thing?" said Fearless Leader gripping his belly of pain.
"Get real! Get out of town!" Captain Hook collapsed to the ground of the meeting room.
"HA, HA, HAAAAA!!!!!!! Even the natives would be dying by now!" Dark Paw said slamming his hand on the table.
"Surely we're not riding in that thing! YAH, HA, HA!" said Dishonest John.
The Villains Society continued to laugh at Dick Dastardly's design of the Wildcat, which looked just like a red tow truck. Even Muttley began to laugh.
"QUIET!!!!!!!" Dick shouted. All went quiet. "This is no ordinary truck. I've made my very own adjustments to the Wildcat. And all of them will help us win the race for sure."
"Oh, really?" said Beastly, "If it's so 'special' then why don't you bother showing this special vehicle to us?"
"Because, nitwit, This room is only big enough for all of us and the table!" said Dick.
"Yeah, you moron!" Shrieky wacked Beastly on the head.
"So when can we get going with this thing?" said the Grinch leaning back on his chair.
"Just as soon as Muttley stops snickering!" Dick Dastardly knocked Muttley on the head. Muttley growled and began to grumble to himself.
"I hope you're right about this." Said Captain Hook.
"Yeah. We've all come here so that we can win that money together." Said Fearless Leader.
"Hey, but if we do win, who's going to take the money?" said Dishonest John. There was silence in the room again.
"I already told you people five times. We'll split the money equally when we win. Now let's go!" Dick said angrily before he led the way out of the room.
"Oh, yeah! Of course!" The Purple Pie Man said.
"Now why didn't I think of that?" Said Macavity.
Havoc ran inside a mental institute one night. As two masked serial killers were hunting down for their own personal intentions.
"Help me!" Cried the bleeding doctor along the dark corridor as he tried to escape the clutches of Jason Voorhees just a few steps away from him. "Please, help me!"
No answer. Except for the appearance of another dark man at the end of the hall.
"Oh, thank heavens!" The doctor panted. "Sir, you have to help me from….."
Michael Myers' knife came out from the doctor's back. As Michael pulled it out his victim collapsed to the ground.
Jaosn and Michael went down the hall in opposite directions, until they reached the cell room number where their hunted ones were staying in. Coincidentally both of them were after the same room. The two didn't make a bug reaction as they saw each other, and only resumed their jobs.
Nothing was heard inside the room. But whatever the difference, it didn't stop Michael from breaking through door. They entered the dark room quietly. There didn't seem to be anybody in the bed. But that didn't them. They were most likely hiding off somewhere.
"NOW!" Tommy's voice cried.
Their questions were answered. Tommy and Jamie dunked metal buckets on their killers' heads. And they rushed for the broken door fleeing the room. Jason and Michael were struggling to get the buckets off their heads. As they shuffled round they bumped their bucket heads together and were knocked down to the floor.
Meanwhile…..
Tommy led Jamie out of the building. The two had grown up ever since they first encountered their worst nightmares. They were now young adults. Tommy already knew how to drive and Jamie still had her wallet safe with her.
"Tommy, look!" Jamie cried when she saw Jason and Michael coming after them.
"To the parking lot!" Said Tommy. "I know a certain toy of mine in there I haven't used for weeks."
Jason and Michael followed the two into the dark and empty parking lot. There were no guards and no other cars inside the lot. Except for one…..
Once the masked men stood in the middle of the lane two lights bursted open. It was then they realized that Tommy was driving a red 4x4 truck. And he was heading right into them.
"Bye, bye. Suckers!" Tommy smiled.
Jason and Michael suffered badly under the heavy wheels of the War Hawg. Even though they weren't quite dead afterwards, their bones ached and neither of them could move a muscle.
"HA! HAA!!!" Jamie gave Tommy a high five. "You did it!"
"Good old War Hawg! Never leave home without it!" Tommy rammed through the gates of the hospital.
As Tommy drove along the suburban streets, Jamie felt something behind her seat.
"What's this?" She slipped out a small poster of a certain race competition taking place soon.
"What is it, Jamie?"
"Tommy. We're going."
"Going where?"
Jamie showed the paper to Tommy on the steering wheel and poked fiercely on it with her finger.
"The Cannonball Run."
"Oh my God! I forgot about that race!" Said Tommy. "Thanks for reminding me!"
"But let's get some clothes first. I'm getting the chills, even with these PJs on."
"Get him!" The criminal mob leader shouted to his men in the Coco Bongo Club. The men began to shoot for the green faced man known as the Mask.
"Oh no, it looks like trouble!" said Dexter, "Freak out!" he said before turning into the super hero Freakazoid.
"Elwood! I knew it was a bad day to come here!" said Jake Blues.
"Don't panic now, Jake. I think we can get out of here without anyone getting hurt." said Elwood.
"Don't worry, Mask! We'll help you!" said Freakazoid pretending to fly like Superman.
"No time for that, I'm afraid!" The Mask suddenly spun like a tornado and sucked in Freakazoid and the Blues Brothers.
"Mask! No! I hate it when you do this!" shouted Jake before he was pulled in by the twist.
"Get them all!" said the mob leader before the heroes managed to escape from the club.
"Let's go, gang!" said the Mask getting in the driving seat of stock racing car called the Razorback.
"Uh, oh, here they come!" said Freakazoid looking back at the angry mob coming their way.
"Not for long! YYYEEEEEEHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" The Mask drove off in the speed of light before the mob could even aim their guns at the car.
"Nice work there, Mask." Said Elwood.
"Where are we heading off now?" said Jake trying not to throw up. The Mask threw a newspaper at Elwood who caught it and looked at the front cover.
"The Cannonball race?" Elwood said.
"What?" jumped up Jake who snatched the newspaper from Elwood. "Whoa! A hundred million bucks!" he whistled. "We're there! Step on it!"
"You sure you want to leave now?" said Pokey the cactus to Shorty the banana and Rolly the pineapple hopping onto their off road buggy the Dynamo. "At five in the morning?"
"We gotta get there early for the race next week." Said Shorty.
"Yeah. You can wish us luck there before we race." Said Rolly.
"Well, okay, then. See you guys at the race." Said Pokey.
"Bye, Pokey." Waved Rolly.
"Go get 'em!" Pokey smacked Shorty on the back, which made the poor banana scream loudly before stepping the pedal and driving off swiftly along the road. "Gosh. I didn't realize Shorty was that confident in winning this race."
"Ah, yes. Come in. Come in, my friends. Don't be shy." Hadji beckoned his guests into his Indian palace.
"Nice elephants you have here." Said Baby Lickety-Split trotting along the red carpet leading to the Indian boy's throne.
"Thank you. They are the best in India. Loyal, obedient and gentle." Said Hadji.
"Odd. I didn't know you were this rich. Where's your blond friend?" asked Tara Lipinski.
"Oh, he's off somewhere in Hawaii. He wasn't interested in this race. He just thinks it's a waste of time."
"Well, he'd better think again." Said Devon accidentally bumping into one of the elephants.
"Oh, pardon us." Said Cornwall trying to get hold of Devon. The two-headed dragon resumed their approach with the young pony and the famous ice skater. "So. I've been told that we're all going together for the Cannonball Run?"
Suddenly all the servants in the room gasped and bowed down to the floor immediately. The elephants began to roar loudly.
"Please. Do not say that word. That race is very sacred to us and we believe it can bring us a new life if we receive that ultimate prize money." Said Hadji. "And besides. If we keep saying that word you're going to give my servants a serious backache. Most unpleasant."
"Okay…..um….didn't you call us here to show your vehicle….er…..what's it called?" Lickety-Split thought to herself.
"The Afterburner." Said Devon.
"The Afterburner?" gasped Cornwall. "Man. I gotta see this baby!"
"Let's see it, Hadji." Said Tara.
"Very well." Hadji got up from his chair and clapped his hands. The servants walked out of the room and soon returned pushing a long large Dragster car into the room. "Observe and be amazed, my friends. The Afterburner." All faces gasped within the brightness of the car's beauty.
"Alf, you got that camera on?" Steve Irwin said to the little furry creature, who acted as his cameraman.
"Sure thing, Steve." Alf replied.
"Right," Steve tidied himself before the camera went on, "Hi, everybody! Steve Irwin here! Crocodile Hunter! Reporting live in Australia! Now as you know, I won't be around for quite some while. Why? Because I'm off going for that race the Cannonball Run to win that grand prize money with my friend Alf here my cameraman!"
"You said it!" said Alf.
"Thanks, Alf. And it's not just the two of us racing." Alf zoomed out the camera showing two figures sitting side by side by Steve. "On my left, here, please give a warm welcome, from all of the way from South America, to the Voodoo witch doctor Barn Samedi!"
"HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" Samedi laughed taking off his white top hat.
"And here on my right, a courageous young leader of an Ethiopian tribe from Africa, please meet Kirikou!"
"(Greetings to you all!)" The young tribe warrior said in Swahili raising his spear to his viewers.
"Now, if any of you happen to be watching the race next week, you'll probably want to know what we'll all be racing in. So here it is!" The camera zoomed to a yellow jet cycle big enough to fit four people.
"Our grandest bike in all of Australia! The Barracuda!"
"Well, what do you think?" said football player Joe Montana to his friends in the middle of the deserted football stadium.
"It's…...it's……" hesitated volleyball player Gabrielle Reece.
"A front loader bulldozer." Said soccer player David Beckham.
"We're going to race in a bulldozer?" said golfer Tiger Woods. "Do you realize how slow these things go? By the time the others reach the finish line, we're only be a quarter way through the race!"
"Settle down, guys." Said Joe, "The Vandal is no ordinary bulldozer. This thing can travel over 200 miles per hour!"
"Oh, very amusing, Joe." Said Gabrielle.
"Cut the crap." Said Tiger.
"If you really think this is going to win us a hundred million dollars. Why don't we have a little test drive?" Grinned David.
"Okay. Why not?" said Joe in confidence. "Everyone get in." Everyone got in with Joe. "I suggest you fasten your seatbelts real tight." The golfer just laughed.
"What are you saying? You think this slow poke will make me….." Joe stepped on the pedal and Tiger flew back on his seat "…...WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" The Vandal went so fast that it dashed right out through the stadium and into the streets of the city.
The Monks struck the gongs when the sun rose high in the sky in the Shaolin mountains.
"(Master, they are ready to leave.)" Said the advisor of the Emperor.
"(Open the gates)." Said the Emperor. "(They are ready to face their ultimate challenge. They will journey long on this quest. We must honor them while they are gone.)"
A Shaolin ninja ordered the monks to open the gates. The large wooden gates opened slowly and a blue Corvette Stingray car purred along the rocky road and downwards the mountain.
"(How long till the race)?" said the Tai Kwon Do fighter Kim Kaphwan.
"(A week's time. We must train hard, friends)." Said the blue ninja Sub-Zero steering their vehicle the Wolfbeast.
"(Training we shall do)." Said the Japanese Samurai Heishiro Mitsurugi.
"Hey, girls, does that man in the moustache look awfully familiar to you?" Said a young girl in the college grounds. All eyes set on the odd looking man in the trench coat.
Minutes later…..
"AAAAA!!!!!!!! It's Leonardo DiCaprio!" cried the screaming girls chasing the handsome young actor along the suburban streets of America.
"Gotta get out of here!" said Leonardo before he caught sight of a nearby door. "Jackpot!"
Leonardo dashed into the door before the girls could see him escape for cover. Leonardo sighed in relief and leaned against the door.
"What are you doing out of line, soldier?" yelled Major Payne to the tired blond actor.
"I…I…just…."
"Come here and pay attention." Major Payne pulled Leonardo from his position and threw him between two other men. Those 'two' turned out to be Michael Schumacher and Ken Griffey Jr.
"Chased by girls, I presume?" said Leonardo.
"Uh-huh." Nodded the baseball player Ken.
"Yes siree." Said the Formula one race driver Michael.
"QUIET!!!!!!" shouted Major Payne as he took out a long stick from is pocket. He then pulled up from the ceiling a large poster of a military fighter jet. "You have all been chosen to join me race in the Cannonball Run…."
"Who's this creep?" said Leonardo.
"Major Payne. He thinks we came in here as volunteers to be his companions in this race." Whispered Ken.
"I said QUIET!!!!!!!! Now, this will be our fighter jet the Skybolt. Now the Skybolt will be able to fit all four of us in without any hassle…."
"I'm not going on this crazy thing." Said Michael. "This guy's completely nuts!"
"QUIET!!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU TURDS KEEP YOUR MOUTHS SHUT!!!!!!!! Now then, after we finish this race, and if we win, and we WILL win under my orders, we will return here happy with a hundred million dollars in our goodie bag!"
"A HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS?!" The three men cried.
"Affirmative." Said the Major. Leonardo, Michael and Ken looked at each other in delight. This was certainly moment of truth. "Do I make myself clear, gentlemen?"
"Sir! Yes, sir!" they shouted.
"Mr. Gordo. Your guests have arrived." Said Hotep with his friend following beside him. The Egyptian priests made way for the Brazilian drug lord Eddy Gordo.
"Thank you, Hotep and Hoy. I'll be happy to have you two join us in the race."
"A pleasure sir." Said Hoy turning pale with Hotep when Eddy left them.
"Welcome!" said Eddy Gordo to his guests in the living room. "I'm so glad to have all of you here. Especially you, Mr. Michael Jordan."
"Okay." Said Michael Jordan backing up for the door. "I think I went to the wrong place. You see, I don't wanna get involved in any drug dealing." Two guards blocked his way.
"Leaving so soon? I didn't invite you to do some drug business with me." Eddy said. "I simply asked you and the others to come here to join in a particular race."
"Why did you pick us, man?" said Leon.
"Yeah, me, Leon, Rawle and Doug here are just simple Jamaicans." Said Malik Yoba.
"Ah, yes. But you see. I know you four are great bob sled runners and it would a great honor to have you people accompany me." said Eddy.
"Then how am I involved in all this?" said Michael.
"Oh, nothing much. I'm just a great basketball fan of yours and it would be nice to have you on board with me too." Eddy smiled.
"So what do we do now, then?" said Doug E. Doug.
"Now we step outside and get on way to the race." Eddy led the way outside to the front of his house.
"Hey! Nice car, man!" said Rawle Lewis gazing upon the black Pontiac Fiero car.
"I call it the Fireforce." Said Eddy as Hotep and Hoy assisted him and the guests into the car before they got in themselves.
"Wait a second. Where are we going?" said Michael Jordan.
"To New York!" said Eddy before steeping on the pedal.
"Ah, nature, so beautiful." The Russian girl Linka threw herself down on the grassy land as the deers and squirrels in the forest gathered round her. Suddenly, the birds in the distance began to fly away from the trees when Linka heard a roaring sound of a race car grow louder by the second. "Oh, no! I wish I was with the others to summon Captain Planet!" But then her thoughts changed when a purple Volkswagon bug car stopped in front of her and out came the 'man' himself.
"SHAFT!!!!!!" cried Linka in delight. "Oh! I am such a big fan of yours!" she said hugging the man in black.
"Whoa, whoa! Miss, can you tell the way to the Cannonball Run entry?"
"The Cannonball Run? You're going for that money? Count me in!" said Linka already jumping in the car.
"Miss, be careful in there. This car the Detonator was very expensive." Shaft got back in the car. "You still haven't told me where the Cannonball Run is taking place."
"New York." Said Linka jumping excitedly to be actually sitting next to Shaft himself.
"So what's your name." Said Shaft.
"Linka."
"You Russian.?"
"Of course! Can't you recognize my accent?" Linka looked back to see a bald Hindu person meditating on his seat. There was a Canadian ranger talking his a giant nerdy looking worm guy.
"Oh, I forgot to introduce my buddies here." Said Shaft. "In the corner there's the Holy Man." The Holy Man opened his eyes to Linka.
"Pleased to meet you, kind miss." He resumed his meditation.
"Over there's Dudley Du-Right and his Italian worm friend...um….Mr. Worm."
"Hey, there, Linka. Nice to meet you. This is my bestest pal, Mr. Worm who I met back in my last trip to Rome."
Mr. Worm waved at Linka as he looked at Dudly and sighed.
"(Hi, there! Do you like pasta?)" Mr. Worm straightening his glasses at the same time.
"What did he say?" Linka asked.
"He said you look very pretty." Said Dudley.
"Hey, Linka? Don't you want to say goodbye to your animal friends before you go?" said Shaft gazing upon the animals outside of the car.
"Oh, never mind them." said Linka. "Let's just get the hell out of here! Floor it!" Linka pushed Shaft on the pedal as the animals all got out of the way.
"Wait! Come back Maximus" cried Dexter chasing after the Roman general with the helmet through his secret laboratory after having sent him here in the present time with his time machine. "We have still much to learn from you!" Maximus ignored the boy's words and resumed riding on the Racing Arena vehicle which Dexter himself had made. It contained no wheels and levitated in the air. Maximus had never seen anything like this before.
"Sorry, Dexter. The world needs me at the moment! I have one important task I must accomplish! Farewell!" Maximus drove right through the wall and out into the streets. Dexter just sighed.
"I knew I shouldn't have mentioned that Cannonball race." He said.
"Freeze!" Said the police sergeant in the wide dark alleyway. "Carmen Sandiego, you're under arrest."
"Seriously, Sergeant. Do you have any idea who you're messing with?" Carmen gave a lopsided smile. She stepped back and vanished in the shadows.
"After her, men!"
But before anybody could step to where she had gone, two bright lights blinded their eyes. It was followed by a loud roaring of a car engine. Then everyone jumped out of the way as Carmen drove out of the alley in a red sports car.
"Damnit!" The Sergeant slammed his fist on the wall. "She's gotten away again!"
A white paper flew into his hand shortly after Carmen escaped. He opened it up.
Dear Sergeant,
I'm disappointed that you weren't able to catch me tonight. But save your angry thoughts for later. The Cannonball Run is my only interest at the moment. This girl needs a new pair of shoes….literally…..these high heels are killing me. But anyway, better luck next time.
Carmen Sandiego
"Man, Sergeant. She sure makes a pretty darn good racer." Said a police man.
"Oh, shut up."
Meanwhile……
"New York, here I come." Said Carmen scrunching up the piece of paper that contained details about the Cannonball race. "Sonic Stinger, do your stuff." She patted her car and stepped on the pedal.
"Isn't it a lovely day?" said the fisherman to his six year old son on the boat. "There's nothing like a good day of fishing. Isn't that right, son?"
"Sure is, pops." He said.
"Ah, yes, there's just nothing like…..." Suddenly a small red motorboat cut through the father and son's fishing boat and the two fell with a splash in the deep blue water.
"HAR! HAR! HAAAR!" Fat Bastard laughed in his traditional Scottish manner on the Sea Attack motorboat. In front of him the soccer player from the Holland, Edwin van der sar, drove the Sea Attack along the river, making their way for their biggest opportunity of their lives: the Cannonball Run.
"Hey, Edwin." Said Fat Bastard.
"Yeah, Fat Bastard?"
"Who's this Yoga guy here sitting between us?"
"Oh, that's Dhalsim. I just thought we might get some good luck from him. A very nice person." Said Edwin looking back on his path.
"He's talking to himself. He's gone mental." Fat Bastard said.
"Just leave him alone." Said Edwin. "He's only meditating."
"Oh, gracious powers. Please give us strength for this journey on our quest for true money-lightenment." Dhalsim said. Fat Bastard shrugged his shoulders as Edwin increased the speed of the Sea Attack.
"Okay, is everyone here?" Stanley Stupid said. His family had recently left home…..by air.
High above the clouds, a small red turbo prop called the Spitfire glided across the blue sky.
"Yes, dear. All six of us well and ready for action!" Said Joan.
"WOW! We're going on a race!" Petunia clapped her hands. "I'm so excited."
Everyone was, except for their pet dog and cat, Xylophone and Kitty, who just wished that they stayed at home.
"Uh-oh." Buster pointed to the controls. "We're almost out of gas."
"Now don't you worry, kids. Daddy's going to fly down to that gas station right over there!" He pointed to the 'Shell' station just a few miles ahead.
The Spitfire dropped down below to the nearby town at high speed.
"WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"
"This is fun!" Cried Petunia. Down below, people stared open mouthed and run out of the vehicle's way. The cars even lost their track on the road and crashed into other cars because of the distraction.
Too bad for Xylophone and Kitty too. They were scared shitless.
"Okay, you kids can go get a snack while I fill freshen myself up and fill this baby up!" Stanley said.
Buster and Petunia went to the food shop while Stanley got the water hoses and sprayed himself with it. He then got the dryer hose and used that as well. After having cooled down, he went to the gas hose and filled up the Spitfire.
"How much further to New York, dear?" Asked Joan.
"Oh, just a couple more days up on this thing and we'll be there in no time!" Stanley smiled.
"DAD!" Cried Buster running out the shop with Petunia. "They sell Eggos!"
"Well, that's something I haven't seen before!" Said Stanley.
"Yeah. Buster and I bought some for all of us to eat!" Said Petunia.
"That's great!" Stanley laughed. "You two get back in. This things still needs to be filled."
The children got in. It wasn't long before the tank was full.
"All set?" Stanley looked at his family.
"YEAH!"
"Then let's go!"
More mayhem occurred during their takeoff as more people gasped at the Stupids, causing more road accidents.
"HEY!" Said Petunia as she opened the packet of Eggos. "These aren't eggs. They're waffles!"
"Aw, that's a shame." Said Stanley.
"Good morning, Angels!" said Charlie over the speaker.
"Good morning, Charlie." His Angels said in the living room.
"Angels, today is your very special day!"
"Why's that?" said Natalie.
"You are all signed up for the Cannonball Run next week!" All went quite as the girls became confused. "The Cannonball race?" Silence. "The race that takes all who participate round the entire globe?" Still silence. "The race with a hundred million dollar prize to the winner?" The girls began to scream as they finally realized what Charlie was talking about.
"This is fantastic!" said Dylan.
"But wait, what are we going to race in?" said Alex.
"Ah." Said Charlie. "Before we come to that, maybe it's better if you girls meet some of your other companions that'll help you."
"Who?" The girls said. Two figures suddenly emerged from the sliding walls from behind.
"Angels. Meet Agent Michael Flatley. Lord of the Dance"
"How do you girl do?" smiled Michael bowing his head.
"And Agent Shrek……um….some fat green ogre."
"Watch it, Charlie!" said Shrek showing his knuckle to the speaker.
"Oops, sorry Shrek." The speaker began to shake a little.
"So where's our vehicle?" said Natalie.
"Look outside your window." The girls looked outside and saw a white sports car which looked quite similar to a car a certain character that everyone knew.
"Jesus! Can it really be him?" said Shrek dashing to the door with the others.
"It is! It's Speed Racer!" cried Michael Flatley watching Speed Racer get out of the vehicle known as the Shark.
"Hey! Are you guys friends of Charlie?" said Speed Racer taking off his helmet.
"Are we?" The girls said looking at each other. They ran for Speed Racer as he got back in the Shark car.
"Okay, then. No time to waste! Everyone hop in and we can be on our way!" Shrek and Michael got in the back with the girls. Speed Racer drove off immediately as the girls screamed in joy.
"Knock it off you girls." Said Michael.
Charlie continued to speak through the speaker, not knowing that nobody was listening.
"Oh, Angels, did I mention that I intend to use that money prize for charity?"
"Come on! He's leaving!"
Millions of Santa's little elves gathered outside alongside the sea to witness Santa Clause's newest vehicle around: the Arctic Assault 1. The elves cheered in glory for St. Nick as he drove quickly along the sea in his yellow toboggan boat. Behind him sat the hockey player Mario Lemieux and the penguin from the South Pole Pingu.
"SANTA! SANTA! SANTA! SANTA! SANTA!" cried the elves.
"Go for it, Santa! You can do it!" said one elf. "You can win that race!"
"SANTA! SANTA! He's our man if he can it, no on can!" They all sang.
"Gosh, Santa. You got lots of fans. Even the reindeers are howling for you." Said Mario.
"You sure you know how to fly that thing?" said Santa pointing to Mario's jet pack the Arctic Assault 2.
"Of course I do. Don't worry about me." answered Mario.
"(Let's get going)!" said Pingu in his own gibberish language.
"Right! See you later elves!" said Santa as he drove off in the fog.
"GOOOOOO SANTA!" The elves danced and cheered some more.
Ogo led Oglas and Igi to the peak of the mountain. He beckoned them to follow him to the edge.
"(Come on, you two! We can't be late for the race!)" said Ogo in his own caveman language.
"(But…...we're so high.)" Said Igi shaking his legs trying not to look down,
"(Oh, don't be so such a chicken, Igi. You'll get used to it after a few hours.)" Said Oglas. The three cavemen grabbed firmly onto the pole of their metallic blue aerial glider called the Glider Strike.
"(Okay, guys, on the count of three. One…...two……)" Ogo was interrupted by Igi.
"(Wait!)" Ogo did nothing but….
"(Three!)" They jumped off at the same time. Igi began to scream like a baby as they drifted off into the air.
"(HEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!)" Igi cried.
"(Here we go!)" Ogo controlled the Glider Strike and the cavemen were already on their way to the Cannonball Run.
"A box." Said Felix the cat to Casper the ghost by the seaside bay. "Your so called great vehicle the Hornet is nothing but a stupid packing crate?"
"Hey, lighten up, Felix! It's not what you think! Watch this." said Casper lifting the Hornet into the sea. To Felix's surprise it didn't sink.
"Well, what do you know." Felix's angry look dimmed away.
"And……ta da!" Casper pressed a button by the side of the crate to open a door leading inside the crate. "Shall we go inside to take a look?"
Felix went in and was amazed of what was inside. There was a single seat for him on the Hornet, there were control panels around his seat and a big monitor screen in front of the seat.
"Casper. This is amazing." Said Felix.
"The Hornet can only go on water. But if you press this button." Casper pointed to a purple round button by the right of the seat of the Hornet. "Your Hornet will open up and transform into a jet fighter."
"Oh, I see. So do I sit here?" said Felix. Casper nodded.
"Quite comfy." Said Felix.
"Well. Guess my work here is done." Casper handed Felix a control manual for the Hornet. "Good luck in the Cannonball Run." Casper waved after getting out of the crate boat before the door closed.
"See you before the race, Casper!" said Felix waving back, "Alright, Hornet. Let's test you out!" Felx felt overconfident and pushed the lever beside of him all the way forward.
"WHHHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" The Hornet zoomed quickly along the water so fast that Felix fell back to his seat.
"General, sir." Attar saluted General Thade in his office. "We have some visitors who would like to see you."
Thade grunted.
"Very well."
Just after that, two titans smashed through the double doors. Attar jumped out of the way as they entered the room.
"Ah." Thade smiled. "Darkseid, the Lord of Apokolips…and Thanos, the disciple of Mistress Death. What a pleasure it is seeing you two here."
"Cut the chit chat, Thade." Said Darkseid. "We got an important message for you."
"Yeah." Thanos wrapped his arm round Thade's neck and spoke in his ear. "Unicron's told us to come here and ask you guys for a little favor."
"What is it?"
"You see," It was now Darkseid's turn to wrap his arm round Thade and speak in his other ear. "There's this race competition taking place on Earth. It has a pretty heavy cash prize with it. And we all we ask for you guys is to just go down there and steal the money!"
Thade smiled and rubbed his hands together.
"Okay, but what is it in for me?" He looked at both of them.
"Well, Unicron has decided to….." Thanos tried to find the words to say it.
"….to split the money into six shares." Darkseid finished.
"One for him, one for Galvatron, one for Darkseid, one for myself, one for you, and one for your friend Attar." Said Thanos.
"Sorry to intrude, but I just overheard your little conversation. How much exactly is this cash money?" Interrupted Attar.
"A hundred million dollars."
"That's it. I'm in!" Thade laughed.
"Count me too!" Said Attar.
"Here you go, Mr. President. Just read and sign it." Said the man in the dark trench coat known only as Mr. X. The President read through the contract and nodded his head when reading.
"Hmm…..yes…..yes. Fine. I'll allow it. I can understand how many people have reacted to this big event. It's shocking the entire world." The President said.
"Indeed, sir. Everyone's on about it." Mr. X said.
Without haste the President signed the contract and handed it to Mr. X. "Thank you, Mr.X. I'll be glad to see how happy Mr. McClure and Mr. Prinzey will be about this."
"Just doing my job, Mr. President, good day." Mr. X put his hat on and slowly marched out of the room and left the White House with the signed contract.
Author's Note: Still going fast? Well, I said it before and I'll say it again. This is one heck of a long story. Even longer than the original one. Sorry for any spelling mistakes, grammar errors, you get my drift.