Crossover With Non-anime Series Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Cannonball Run 3 World Tour ❯ Asia ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5

Asia

'Did I win?' Rowan Atkinson in 'Rat Race'.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen." Said Bosley. "Here we are once again to update you on the Cannonball Run World Tour."

"Our competitors are now racing to Asia, starting with a cross to Japan!" Said Misty.

"You haven't missed anything yet, people!" Said Ryo.

"You know, I just came back from the betting room. And man is it chaotic!" Said Gennai.

"Jigglypuff!"

"You were there too, Jigglypuff?" Misty was quite surprised.

"The place is a riot!" Said Gennai.

The shouts from the Cannonball band were getting worse day by day.

"Herman! I trusted you tell me where the Detonator was five days ago!" Burt Bacharach stormed to the front.

"Benny! You said you'd give me the position of the Coast Patrol hours ago!" Said Eric Clapton.

"Alice Cooper calling to Benny and Herman!" The gothic music artist said. "I haven't ANY news about the Road Heat!"

"Please one at a time." Said Herman.

"This is getting on my nerve." Benny sighed.

"Well enough about that." Bosley tried to forget what he just saw. "Let's see how our friends Oprah Winfrey and Mirai Ozora are doing in Tokyo!"

"YOO-HOO!!" Mirai waved her fingers at the screen.

"Hi everyone!" Oprah smiled. "Gosh, I never expected a crowd this big round here in Tokyo!"

"Hi Oprah, hi Mirai!" Said Gennai. "Is there anything you've seen concerning our Cannonballers?"

"Well, there only seemed to be one vehicle that had just passed us minutes ago." Oprah answered.

"Yeah, and it was going so fast that we almost couldn't tell who it was!" Mirai added.

"Girls!" Misty tried not to scream. "That must have been the racer in the lead!"

"Who did you see?" Ryo waited desperately for reply.

"Well, to be quite frank with you, guys, I believe it was the Iguana……….."

"WAIT, OPRAH!" Mirai looked over the streets. "There's more coming!"

A dozen of Cannonballers made their appearance.

"YES! There's the Shadow Stalker and the Stiletto fighting for second place! And there's the Piranha 2 in third rushing across the bay!" Mirai was now screaming at the top of her voice. "OH, LOOK! That's the Gator 2 right up the Piranha 2's tail! Up in the sky I see the Condor having some struggle with the Glider Strike! WOWZAS! There goes the Rattler 2! And the Wildcat, with the Blazin Fury! And the Collector! And Boulder Hill! HA! HAAAAAAA!!!!!"

"That'll do, Mirai. That'll do." Oprah patted her friend, who was on her knees panting for breath.

'You give that funny feeling in my tummy……

Rollercoaster of love.

Say what?

Rollercoaster of love.

Oh baby, you know what I'm talking about.

Rollercoaster of love.

Oh yeah, it's rollercoaster time!

Rollercoaster of love.

Loving you is really wild.

Rollercoaster.

Step right up and get your tickets!

Your love is like a rollercoaster baby, baby!

I wanna ride!

Your love is like a rollercoaster baby, baby!

I wanna ride!

Move over dad, cause I'm a double dipole.

Upside down on the big dip dipper.

One, two, one, two, three.

I've got a ticket come ride with me.

Let me go down on the merry-go-round.

All is fair in a big fair ground.

Let's go slow. Let's go fast.

Liquorice twist's gonna whip your ass!'

'Love Rollercoaster' By The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

…Asia…

The Ratfang drove along Tokyo city. Eddie was still driving while Roger continued to rest with his love Jessica. He looked out the window and caught sight of a familiar faced hitch hiker.

"Oh, Eddie!" Roger Rabbit jumped up. "Stop the car!"

Eddie stepped on the brakes and the hitch hiker approached their car.

"What's going on, Roger?" Said Eddie.

"Honey, you know you're not supposed to pick up strangers."

"Jessica, he isn't…"

"Roger, please." Said Dolores. "We're going to lose the race if we waste any more time."

"Yeah, you're stopping for this guy as if you him or something." Said Eddie.

"As a matter fact, we do!" The hitch hiker popped his head through the window.

"Ernest!" Cried Roger.

"Long time no see, Roger!" Ernest shook his pal's hand.

"What are you doing here, old buddy?"

"What am I doing here? Now listen." Replied Ernest. "I didn't want to come here in the first place. Those dang airports sent to the wrong country. And now I'm here in Japan, when I should be China!"

"Why don't you come with us?" Rogerslid open the door for him. "We'll take you there!"

Ernest began to smile.

"Well, shucks! That would be just wonderful!" Said Ernest. "But how are we gonna get there by land?"

"Don't worry. We know a certain bridge that can take us to China." Roger welcomed Ernest into the vehicle.

"You know, I'm getting kinda tired myself." Said Eddie. "Do you want to drive?"

"Why! It would be an honor, sir! I haven't driven for months!" Ernest came to the front of the Ratfang and took Eddie's seat. Eddie went to the back with Roger and Jessica.

"Okay, guys. Listen. I'm gonna have to drive REALLY fast to get to Beijing, cause there's a party festival I have to catch there with a few of my pals. So you don't mind if I go over the speed limit, do you?"

"Perfect." Eddie grinned evilly.

"Works with us, Ernest!" Roger gave him an 'okay' sign.

"Okay, then! Buckle up!" Everyone buckled up. Ernest hit the pedal and the Ratfang set off.

"Jesse, these high buildings are getting in the way too much!"

"James has got a point there." Said Meowth. "Maybe we should turn this thing back into a chopper."

"Well, okay." Sighed Jesse. She pressed the button in the glass box and slowly the jet fighter Switchblade transformed back into a regular chopper.

"Uh oh! We've got trouble!" James stared back at the Japanese helicopters.

"Let's blow this joint!" Said Jesse.

"Max! They're still on our ass!" Hercules turned back to the road warrior.

"I've heard the Japanese have really got tight with law around here!" Said Xena.

"Hah!" Max wasn't scared. "They're gonna have to do better if they wanna stop a Cannonballer!"

Max armed up his Iguana and began firing away at the police cars, and cutting through those that got in his way.

"This is Aya Brea reporting!" The young female cop was chasing the Stiletto, that kept outsmarting her in every turn. "I'm after a white Lamborghini! All units be alert of the white Lamborghini!"

Michelle steamed up the engine of the Stiletto and it roared through the streets. The cops were such a cinch for the girls that it wasn't funny.

"I don't believe this." Michelle smiled.

"I was expecting more from Tokyo." Said Lara Croft.

"Well, you know, we could always make things a teeny bit more fun?" Joanna winked at Michelle.

"Hmmm……….why not?" Said Amara.

With a flick of a switch the Stiletto car split into the attack chopper and aerial plane like before. Aya and the other police cars were amazed by this. Lara drove the attack chopper to the air while Amara did the same in the aerial plane. Since there was a police blockade up ahead on the road, and even though the girls were on air, they still decided to attack them by firing their cannons and missiles.

"Nice shot, Lara." Amara gave a thumb up.

"Thanks. You weren't bad yourself."

They flew together past the buildings and went their separate ways.

"Oh, you can run." Aya stepped out of her car. "But you can't hide from me."

"Morrigan, do you think we'll find anybody?" Lilith asked Morrigan.

"Don't you fret. One of those Cannonballers won't be able to resist us! And the next thing they'll know, we've already sucked the living life out of them!"

The two succubuses waited along the pavement, hungry for a male victim.

"Um, Butthead. We've got sirens coming from both sides of us. I think the cops are chasing us."

"Don't worry Beavis." Laughed Butthead. "You know what we have to do at times like these."

"Oh, yeah. Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh." He grinned.

"Huh, huh, huh, huh. Prepare to be creamed by the Volcano……or something……." Said Butthead.

The Volcano opened up and giant spikes sprung open from the mighty wheels of the monster van. Beavis stood in front in his new position with two laser cannons. Butthead stood on top standing on a circular platform with a laser rifle placed towards him.

"This is gonna be cool, huh, huh huh." Said Butthead. He commenced firing at once. Beavis fired away too, enjoying having to take down the police one by one.

"FIRE! HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH, HEH!" Beavis could stop. He was really having a good time. He even had the chance to ram the cars beside the Volcano with the large spikes on the wheels. This made things a lot more entertaining for the two teenagers.

"DUN! DUN! DUN! DUN! DUN! DUN!" Beavis and Butthead sang along the road of destruction.

"WOO-HOO!" Michael waved his hat like a cowboy on the flying Desert Striker. Elliott couldn't sit too still at the back though. "Whiskers, you're one good shooter!"

"HA! HAAA!" Whiskers laughed while blasting the police helicopters. "It's a hundred million bucks for us!"

James Bond was being chased by a chopper behind him.

"Oh, bother! Not again!"

"Come down here and there will be no trouble!" The Officer's voice shouted through the helicopter's speakers.

"I'm sorry, my friend. I've got a race to catch. And do please try to speak more politely like a good English gentleman." James remarked cheekily.

"Come here now!"

"Oh, well."

007 boosted his speed on the Rescue Mission. But when he looked forward he found five more choppers in his path. The rocket launcher certainly couldn't get all of them at once. And so a new method had to be found.

"Blasted…unless…"

With a stroke of luck and good timing, James took out his grappling hook and threw it upon a building sideways. He was thrown straight to where he hung his hook and got out of the way. Thus, the helicopter coming from behind him collided with the hovering five.

"What impolite fellows they have here in Japan." James Bond shook his head.

'Living in the city,

You know you have to survive.

Living in the city,

You got to keep the dream alive.

Living in the city,

Where everything is free.

Living in the city,

Can't you see?

So many different things to see, there's no time.

So many different things to do, but there's no time.

So many people all around.

So many feelings to be found.

Living in a city where no one lets you down.

Living in the city,

You know you have to survive.

Living in the city,

You got to keep the dream alive.

Living in the city,

Where everything is free.

Living in the city,

Can't you see?

Living in the city,

You know you have to survive.

Living in the city,

You got to keep the dream alive.

Living in the city,

Where everything is free.

Living in the city,

Can't you see?

So many things that we've been through, can you feel it?

So many things for us to do, but can you feel it?

So many faces all around.

So many places to be found.

Living in a city where nothing gets you down.

Living in the city,

You know you have to survive.

Living in the city,

You got to keep the dream alive.

Living in the city,

Where everything is free.

Living in the city,

Can't you see?

Living in the city,

You know you have to survive.

Living in the city,

You got to keep the dream alive.

Living in the city,

Where everything is free.

Living in the city,

Can't you see?

In the sky at night the stars are shining bright.

You can see the city light 'cos I'm here to make it right.

In the city, oh yeah!

Living in the city,

You know you have to survive.

Living in the city,

You got to keep the dream alive.

Living in the city,

Where everything is free.

Living in the city,

Can't you see?

Living in the city,

You know you have to survive.

Living in the city,

You got to keep the dream alive.

Living in the city,

Where everything is free.

Living in the city,

Can't you see?'

'Living In The City' By TJ Davis from 'Sonic R'.

Night had come quickly. Too bad only a minority of the Cannonballers had already left Tokyo. Getting out of the high tech city wasn't as easy as anybody had imagined.

"Hello! Welcome, it's me! Jamie Oliver, the naked chef, live in downtown Tokyo!"

His audience cheered loudly in the studio.

"Now stay with me, folks! Because today, I'll be showing you people some incredible ways of how YOU can enjoy Sushi more!"

"Aye, no es bueno! We're going to lose the race!" Chichos peeped her head out from the window.

"Calm down, Chichos." Said Gotsumon. "Let Tai and the others handle it!"

Meanwhile…

"Um, what seems to be the problem, officers?" Said Tai to the two Japanese policemen who had just pulled over the Outlaw. They looked at him blankly.

"We're sorry if we went over the speed limit a little." Izzy stepped out of the truck with Tentomon.

"We accept your apologies. But going at 140 miles per hour? What are you, insane?" Said the cop. "You teenagers are always causing trouble."

"But sir, we're in a very big rush to Beijing!" Davis came out too with Veemon.

"Yeah, we need to get our patients to the hospital!" Agumon appeared too.

"Wait a second!" Said the other cop. "How do I know you kids aren't pulling a fast one on us?"

"Mister! You have to believe us! This is an emergency!" Said Tentomon. "Our patients are suffering from…..uh……..very high fevers…..that can….um…..only be cured with traditional Chinese medicine!"

"Yeah. Why don't you ask the Doc?" Veemon suddenly shut his mouth when everyone glanced at him.

"Veemon…..now you've done it……." Davis nudged his Digimon.

"I think that'll be a very good idea." The policemen gave a sarcastic look on their faces.

The Digimon helped their friends block the entrance of the Outlaw.

"I think this is a very bad time to see them, Officers." Said Agumon.

"You could catch their fever." Said Izzy.

Nonetheless they went in. They entered from the front and walked down the truck to the space of where the 'patients' were being taken care of by the Doc. In four beds, Sora, Mimi, Yolei and Kari lied half unconscious with gas masks. The rest of the Digidestined and the Digimon looked at Tai, who just shrugged back at them.

"I tried."

"Excuse me, sir." The Doc turned around and by the first second the cops paled in fright by his deranged looks.

"What's the meaning of this?" He said.

"Um….well…..we found your truck driving over the speed limit and….."

"Can't you see these girls' lives are hanging by a thread?"

"Well yes, sir, but if this was that much of an emergency, then why didn't take the plane?"

"All the flights to China were booked up." Matt tried to think up the first thing that came up in his smart head.

"Yeah…and…the only way we could get there was to drive!" Steve said.

"What about the ferry?"

"That was booked too!" Maria interrupted.

"UH-HUH!" Frigimon and Centaurmon agreed together with their partners.

The police asked more questions constantly. Each time the children and Digimon made up more excuses.

"Yes, sir." The Hoi Brothers nodded. "And that's why we ended up on the road!"

"Okay, then. But remember, drive carefully. I don't want to see you people go over the speed limit again." Finally the police were convinced with everything and left.

"Phew! That was a close call!" Michael wiped the sweat off his face.

"Don't want to live through that again!"

"I'm with you, Sam!" Said Flarerizamon.

"Good thing we put the girls in bed to act as patients." Said Armadillomon.

"Yeah, but was it really necessary to give them laughing gas?" Said Cody.

"Hey, Tai? Are we there yet? WOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Sora seriously had an overdose of the gas.

"This is really getting out of hand." Said Joe.

"VERY." Lou nodded.

"Thank God that's not me!" Said Tortomon.

"Matt? When are you gonna give me a spanking?" Mimi laughed quietly.

"Okay….that we did not need to know." Said Gomamon.

"Definitely." Said Betamon.

"Ken? Come here and give me kiss." Yolei pulled Ken to her bed.

"Um, Yolei. I don't this is an appropriate time for erotic behavior." Ken hesitated.

"If you think this is crazy," Said Wormmon, "Check out Kari."

"Kari?" Said TK, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Maybe you've had too much laughing gas." Said Gatomon.

"Which one of you laid a finger on me?" Said Kari. Patamon, TK and Tai looked at the Doc with serious eyes. The Doc shook his head and frowned.

"Don't worry. I just gave her a little shot. She was acting a bit hyper." The Doc said.

"What a relief." Catherine whispered.

"Same for me." Floramon added. "For a moment I thought this doctor was weirder than I thought!"

"Hey, Tai, why don't we get going now?" Said Gabumon.

"YEAH!" Shouted the three Octomons.

"We don't wanna let the others overtake us!" Said Patamon.

"(HURRY!)" Yuri shouted with Lola and Anna.

"HURRY!" Kuwagamon, Snimon and Unimon supported their Russian friends.

"Jesus! I almost forgot about the race!" Tai rushed to the driving seat and stepped on the pedal very fast……maybe too fast…for when he did so, two large cans were knocked over from their secured positions and managed to leak.

"Hawkmon, why are you laughing?" Said Biyomon.

"I don't know." Biyomon began to laugh. "Why are you laughing?"

"I don't know either!" She replied.

"Crabmon, knock off that stupid giggle!"

"I'm only cracking up because you are, Dingo!"

"Doc? What's so funny?" Said Mina trying not to laugh herself.

"Who cares?" Laughed Flamedramon. "Stop laughing yourself!"

"Stop laughing, Tai! Less comedy more concentration!" Matt slapped his friend on the shoulder. Matt's face turned red as he began to chuckle loudly. Soon the entire place became a laugh riot. Everyone was cracking up.

"I'm trying, Matt! I'm trying!" The Outlaw almost drove right off the road when car horns honked. Tai couldn't really concentrate on his driving. Yet somehow they managed to get out of the bright lights of Tokyo and into the dark beyond.

"Respect my authority!" Eric Cartman shouted at the police chasing them.

"Eat this, you losers!" Kyle took off his pants and mooned at them.

"That's the spirit boys!" Said Charles Manson.

"Hey, Ivy. Can you drive this thing at full speed?" Suggested Stan.

"MPHMPHPMH!" Said Kenny.

"It's worth a try." Ivy stepped harder on the accelerator. The Stinger zoomed faster.

"Looks like there's trouble up ahead." Duke Nukem saw a couple of helicopters hovering in front.

"Stop. You are under arrest."

"No problem." Duke shot two missiles from the Vampire which hit his targets perfectly. They exploded and fell down to their watery grave by the Japanese bay.

"Ren, I think we lost them." The Billboard Blast turned back to its normal form.

"Damnit, Stimpy! Don't be dense! They could already be ahead of us! You understand that?" Said Ren. Bigfoot began to clap his hands cheerfully.

"Bigfoot here happened to enjoy shooting on that laser cannon." Said Stimpy.

"Oh, Stimpy. What am I going to do with you?" Ren got on his seat and set his hands on the controls. "Let's just hope we're safe up here in the clouds."

"Come on, Dream!" Death shouted. "We're lagging behind!"

"I'm trying."

But just then, Morrigan and Lilith came flying by on their sides.

"Hi, Death!" Lilith waved.

"How's it hanging?" Said Morrigan.

"Morrigan? Lilith? What the hell are you doing here? Buzz off!" Death snapped. "I haven't got time to meddle with you! I'm on a race!"

"I know…" Morrigan said. "But does Dream still want to play with us?"

"NO!"

"Aw, c'mon." Lilith begged. "Just for a few minutes."

"Dream, head for the waters, we're going by sea from here!" Death took Dream's hand and steered the Battle Trakker right towards the docks.

"Surely you're not serious." Said Morrigan.

"Wait." Death replied.

The succubuses stopped when Dream and Death crashed through cargo boxes and made a tremendous splash onto the dark water. But by the instant their vehicle landed onto the surface, its four wheels spread apart and various weapons appeared round the ATV. Lilith and Morrigan realized that the Battle Trakker had now become a battling hovercraft.

"See ya later, alligators!" Death stood up and spanked her bottom in front of her two friends. "Hit it, Dream!"

"Well, there she goes." Lilith crossed her arms.

"Oh well…." Morrigan sighed. "Say, you want to get an ice cream?"

"Sure!"

"Pull over, now!" A police car was chasing the Bulldog.

"ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nemesis crouched out from the window and gave the cop one hell of a scare to make him drive off the road and into a large building.

"Nice work, Nemesis." Steve Austin patted Nemesis on the back.

Meanwhile…

"Now, after having added enough Soya sauce on the rice, you…WHAAAA!!!!!!!"

Jamie Oliver's show was unexpectedly disturbed by the police car that rammed the talented cook right off the stage from behind.

"YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone applauded by Jamie's magnificent stunt.

"Somebody call a doctor…" Jamie croaked. "I think I've broken my back."

"Well hi there, Mister." Tommy stopped the War Hawg by the hitch hiker in black on the street. "Can we give you a lift?"

"As a matter of fact, you may." The stranger stepped into the back of the car. "I would like you to take me to New York."

"Why does that tone in your voice tell me that you know we're Cannonballers?" Jamie raised her brow. "Do you know us?"

"Of course I do, Miss Jamie Lloyd." The man took off his hat in the shadows. "I know you and Tommy very well."

"You see, Jamie! We're already celebrities because of this race!" Tommy laughed. "New York, it is, my good man! I'll drive like the wind!"

"Good. Good. I like your determination. And I admire your courage." Hannibal Lecter leaned in front and set his gloved hands onto the seats of his two 'dishes'. "I may have a very big appetite later, you know."

"What is he saying?" Bullwinkle looked at Snoopy who was dropping his thumb downwards.

"I think he wants to launch the Meteor 2." Said Rocky the rooster. "Who wants to go?"

"I'll go." Rocky the Squirrel raised his hand.

"Hey, if Rocky's going, then so am I." Said Bullwinkle.

"Okay, then. You two get to the back of the ship. I'm going to launch it when you're ready." Said Rocky the rooster. Rocky the squirrel and Bullwinkle got out from their seats and walked to the room at the back.

"See you Rocky." Said Roy.

"Good luck, Bullwinkle." Said Siegfried.

"See you later!" Bullwinkle closed the shuttle door.

"You ready?" Said Rocky the rooster. The squirrel and moose raised their thumbs up. "Okay then, Snoops, you can drop it anytime you're ready!"

With the aid of a parachute the Meteor 2 was dropped down onto the bright roads of Tokyo. Rocky steered the tank vehicle out of the scene once it landed on the ground and detached itself from the parachute. Though the happened to be policemen already behind them. Snoopy looked down from his small jet ship and blasted away.

Commander Foyt stood at the front of the police boat, followed with many other boats blocking the bay. Captain Harris and Proctor stood inside the one C. Foyt was in.

"Are you're sure they're going to come through here, Captain?"

"For the third time, Proctor, yes! The Commander herself has said so." Captain Harris looked at him sternly.

"Here comes one, men! Don't let him get away!" C. Foyt looked at the single white light in the dark sea. "Places men! I don't want failure this time round!"

"Dad! They've blocked our way!" Said Bart.

"Son, did I ever tell you that I have even more tricks on this baby?" Said Homer. Bart shook his head.

Homer pressed a switch and a light bulb for the Bullet popped out and became a cannon.

"You better close your eyes, son. This isn't for young eyes to see."

Homer shot the middle boat of which C. Foyt was on. The boat rocked vigorously and made Captain Harris lose control. He accidentally drove it into another boat. This made C. Foyt fly off the edge and splash into the cold water below. The Bullet successfully drove its way past the police and disappeared in the atmospheric night.

"EAT MY SHORTS!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bart's voice echoed.

"Help me!" C. Foyt was splashing her hands in the water. "Get me out of here!" Captain Harris and Proctor were too busy trying to get out of the boat they were in before it would sink. They eventually joined the Commander in the water when they jumped off.

"What are you two doing here?" Said C. Foyt.

"At least you've got us, hey, Commander?" Proctor smiled. Captain Harris hit him on the head with his cane before the other boats came to their aid.

"Goten! There's a police chopper right in front of us!" Pointed Amy.

"No problem!" The black haired teenager said. "All we need is a little firepower!" Goten took out a black cannon from the front of the Condor chopper and shot down the obstacle that was in their way.

"You're really are prepared for these things, aren't you?" Said Hotaru.

"Surprises are what I live for! On we go!"

Wild E. Coyote really enjoyed blasting away his steel pipe cannons and his ramming truck shield in front. A few blocks away Daffy was having even more fun making the cops drive themselves up the wall.

"HOOHOO!!!!!!!!! Can't get me!" Daffy laughed still blasting his way through things that got in his way at high speed. "So long suckers!" He made his way out of Tokyo at last. Now Wild E. and himself were heading to the place where everyone else was going to: Beijing.

…Days later…

"Destroy!" T-Bob blew down part of the Great Wall of China with his laser eyes. The large gap he made allowed him to go through it.

"T-Bob. I don't think that was a very good idea." Said Mr. Conductor.

"Must win Cannonball Run! Must come first in race!" T-Bob ignored everything Mr. Conductor said to him and ignited his jets down the grassy hills.

"So, tell us boss. What are we supposed to do again?" Wheezy while looked at his shotgun. The Weasels were on a hot air balloon just above Beijing city.

"Look." Said Smart Ass. "These guns are armed with explosive shells. Okay?"

"Right."

"Whenever you see those Cannonballers, you just shoot them down!"

"With what, boss?" Said Stupid.

"OH! With the shotgun you have, you idiot!"

"Hee! Hee! Hee!" Psycho pointed his weapon to two aircrafts coming their way.

"That must be them, boss!" Said Greasy.

Everyone cocked their guns.

"Right! Get ready!" Said Smart Ass.

Meanwhile…

"HEE HEE HEE!!!!!!!!!!" Laughed Mario in the Goliath 2. "I'm impressed by your speed, Sonic, but you sure make a lousy aimer!"

"SHUT UP AND HOLD STILL!!!!!!!!!!" Sonic furiously tried to shoot down Mario in his Buzzard jet, with his laser cannons.

"Can't hit me!" Mario teased him.

"You may be ahead of me for now, Mario, but I wouldn't bet on you winning the race! Because you're going down!" Mario suddenly flew upwards and Sonic was in the lead. But he also happened to notice that he was being targeted by the plumber too!

"There you go, Sonic! You happy now!" Said Mario. "Now I get to have some fun with you! HA HA!!!!!!!!!!"

"DAMN YOU MARIO!!!!!!!!!! ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU'RE REALLY GONNA GET WHAT'S COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sonic shouted as he avoided Mario's attacks with HIS laser cannons.

"WHOOOAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" The Weasels lost their balance of the balloon when Mario and Sonic flew past them so quickly that the Weasels couldn't lock their targets onto them. None of them even fired their guns…..except for Psycho. Apparently he shot up into the balloon itself, which made it burst and lose air quickly.

"PSYCHO! Now look what you've done!" Said Smart Ass. "WE'RE FALLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!"

The balloon fell from a high drop and crashed into the entrance temple of the Forbidden City.

"HEE! HEE! HEE!" Psycho laughed from the pain he had received.

"Oh, shut up, Psycho." Smart Ass slapped him in the face.

Passing by the Forbidden City, The Goliath truck and the twin Buzzards, 2 and 3, were still struggling for the lead.

"Link! They're back again!"

"I know Luigi." Link drove carefully past the laser beams shot out by Tails and Knuckles.

"Out of our way!" Said Knuckles.

"You better do it now!" Said Tails.

"What are we going to do, Link?"

"Luigi, it's time."

"What?"

"Fasten your seat belts! We're gonna fight back!" Link pressed a button on the driving wheels and the Goliath changed itself around. The platform that had recently carried the Goliath 2 had now become two gigantic missile launchers. The front of the Goliath, where Link and Luigi sat, opened up and raised itself higher. A laser cannon popped out between Link's and Luigi's seats.

"It's party time!" Link grabbed hold of the big gun.

"Uh……..yeah………." Luigi was scared out of his pants.

"Take this!"

"That was close!" Said Knuckles after having dodged Link's first attack. "Did you see that, Tails?"

"Sure did! It's time we got a little more serious with these guys!"

"Doctor, why are we going down?" Asked Mrs. Twit.

"I think it's wise if we race on land for the time being." Dr. Strangefate said quietly. "I'm changing the Thunderwing into a fats moving tank."

"Oh, joy!" Mr. Twit clapped his hands.

The aircraft glided down onto the road and revealed its wheels at the bottom. A large orange cannon popped out on top of the vehicle and two mini-guns appeared on the sides in front.

"Now I don't want to hear any more arguing from you two! You hear? Make sure that nobody is following us!"

"Yes, Dr. Strangefate." The Twits replied.

"Say cheese!" Butch clicked the camera on Cassidy at the Temple of Heaven.

"Thanks, Butch."

"Isn't this vacation great?" Butch gave back the camera to Cassidy.

"It sure is! It was wonderful for the boss to give us a rest after all the work we've gone through!" Cassidy put on her sun glasses.

"Yeah. I'm so sick of all the crazy stuff we've been through!"

"I'm just glad we don't have to sit through any of that stuff here!" Cassiday sat together with Butch on a bench. Yet the two of them didn't know where the sudden buzzing airplane sound was coming until it flew past them from above. They ducked for cover when it was very near the ground.

"YUK! YUK! YUK!" Bozo laughed and shot the choppers in his way. He even dropped a red missile bomb down onto the bunch of police cars below that were trying to take him down.

"What the hell was that?" Said Butch.

"Was that a clown flying a plane, or am I just hallucinating?" Said Cassidy as Butch helped her up.

"I think next time we should go to Hawaii." Responded Butch.

"NOW!" Steve Irwin disconnected the Barracuda into an aircraft and a motor cycle. Baron Samedi accompanied Kirikou, who flew the small jet while Alf stayed with Steve on the bike.

"(Let's go!) Said Kirikou.

"HA! HA! HAAA!!!!!!!" Baron Samedi nodded.

"You think they'll be safe, Steve?" Said Alf.

"Don't you worry, Alf." Said Steve. "They'll be fine. I taught Kirikou everything I know about that aircraft!"

"GWA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" Donald Duck laughed while he was shooting continuously at the Sea Attack boat in front of him with his single laser gun.

"That stupid duck is out of his freakin' mind!" Said Fat Bastard.

"Look. Something up ahead." Dhalsim pointed to the three police boats coming their way.

"Oh, shit!" Said Edwin.

"WAAAAAAK" Squirmed Donald, "Move out of the way!" He continued shooting.

"Fat Bastard! Get your arm cannon ready!" Said Edwin. Fat Bastard took out the gun attached to his left arm and aimed it at the boats ahead. At the same time Edwin pressed something which made two green laser cannons appear side by side at the front of the boat.

"YAAAAA!!!!!!" Edwin shouted while he shot at the boats. Fat Bastard managed to blast one of them into flames and the police abandoned their posts. The Sea Attack dashed past them, followed by the Gator 2.

"Hey Donald!" Goofy spoke through the radio. He managed to get his way past a few police cars with his laser gun at the back of the car. "Is everything okay there?"

"DOG GONE MAKKAAWAKKKAAAAAAWAAAAKAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Donald was still angry that Edwin and the others were still ahead of him.

"We've got company!" Said Nick Fury. "I'm going up to the shooting platform!"

Five helicopters had surrounded the Boulder Hill. Buffy, Batman and Spawn prepared to unleash their weapons.

"Buffy! Pull that lever!" Said Batman.

Buffy pulled the brown lever downwards on the wall. Instantly the gasoline posts outside the Boulder Hill turned into two electric spark cannons. The 'Gas' sign situated next to where the little base was, opened up to reveal two laser cannons. From the very peak of the brown rocky mountain from the back of Boulder Hill, A large rock was brought down like an elevator and replaced by a laser cannon floor of where Nick Fury sat. The front of the base itself formed a metal wall with a hidden machine cannon sticking out on top. The garage doors attached itself to the base and formed an explosive proof wall.

"FIRE!!!!!!!!!" Said Nick. Batman, Buffy and Spawn blew away the choppers that were simply no match for Boulder Hill.

"Good luck, Emperor!" Dahlia waved at Kuzco, who was departing from the Blazin Fury on his small silver airplane, which was of course armed.

"Make sure you two stay away from any dangers!" Kuzco shouted.

"We will!" Dahlia hit the driving Alessa on the shoulder. "Say goodbye, Alessa."

"Goodbye, Mr. Kuzco!"

"Michael." Eddy Gordo ignored the cops from behind.

"Yeah?"

"How good are you driving a motor bike?" Eddy smiled.

"I'm not too bad." Michael shrugged. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I feel that it would be best…….."

"What?"

"…..if we bail you out…..now……just to double our chances of winning……" Eddy immediately pressed a button and Michael went flying out from the back of the Fireforce. The next second the basketball player found himself sitting on a long motor cycle. It was like the ones road punks used when driving along the highway with large gangs.

"Well, what do you know?" Said Michael. "I've always wanted to drive one of these. Guess Mr. Gordo ain't such a bad guy after all. I'm sure to win this thing with this precious beauty!" He started to drive his bike away.

"Hey, what did you do that for?" Said Doug.

"That's wasn't very nice!" Said Leon.

"Hotep, Hoy, do something, man!" Said Malik.

They did nothing.

"We only serve out master." Said Hoy.

"Yeah. He pays us good money for what we do. I wouldn't dare do anything that might annoy him." Said Hotep.

"None of you should worry about him. He'll be happy with that bike. We can meet him later." Said Eddy. "Now observe."

The Fireforce suddenly transformed into a plane and took off from the road.

"What the hell is going on?" Rawle looked down. "You didn't tell us thing could fly!"

"Well, you do now!" Eddy smiled again, speeding up the plane.

"Oh, come on, Tiger! It's not that bad!" Gabrielle Reece did everything to calm her friend down after having shot her way through helicopters with laser cannons of the aircraft, of course.

"I'm not opening my eyes until you get us out of this mess!"

"Suit yourself." Gabrielle tried to fly past the resistance rather than shoot them down. Within seconds they were out of the police's reach. Just below David Beckham managed to shoot many of the police cars with the guns on their vehicle.

"Got them, Joe!" Said David. Joe clapped his hands.

"Nice work. Hope Tiger and Gabrielle are doing okay."

"(Prepare the missiles and cannons, Oglas!)" Said Ogo. Oglas pressed the button beside and two red missiles hung from each end of the Glider Strike. Two machine cannons also attached themselves onto Ogo's arms. They were now ready to face the police helicopter blocking their way.

"(OGO! BE CAREFUL!)" Said Igi.

Ogo managed to destroy the chopper thanks to his cannons and a single missile.

"(Way to go!)" Said Oglas.

"(Well, in the words of Elvis Presley…..)" Said Ogo. "Thank you very much!"

"Time for me to hit the sky."

Sauron switched a button on the Road Heat to make it turn into an air fighter with large wings. The back wheel split open to act as jet blasters.

"Let's see how the police can catch me now."

The Hornet blasted the chopper in its way with its double laser cannons and red assault gun beside him.

"Well, that takes care of him." Felix said.

As he continued he observed the red laser weapon just underneath the assault gun.

"I wonder what this does." He accidentally pressed the trigger button and a long red laser suddenly fired out of the hole in front. "Oops."

The Switchblade copter hovered over Beijing. Unfortunately for Team Rocket, they didn't have time to avoid the red laser beam Felix had fired miles back. The beam scratched the tail of their vehicle.

"MAY DAY! MAY DAY! WE'VE BEEN HIT!" Shouted Meowth as Jesse tried her best to control the Switchblade. James on the other hand just panicked.

"Come on! Come on!" Jesse tried to steer the copter up.

Meanwhile…

Butch and Cassidy sat by a fountain. It was a hot day in China. The weather was so warm and cool. It was like paradise and made their vacation perfect. Cassidy got out her cell phone.

"Who are you calling?" Said Butch.

"Oh, just a little friend of ours." She grinned.

"Who is it?!" Jesse picked up her phone. "Cassidy! This is not the time for arguments!"

"Jesse! We're gonna go for a crash landing if you don't take this thing back up!" James' voice shouted in the background.

"Oh, come on." Said Cassidy. "Just admit it. The boss likes us more than you people. I thought you'd be jealous when I just told you Butch and I were on vacation."

"Yeah, and tell James that he still owes that dollar from that Backstreet Boys concert ticket!" Said Butch.

"I didn't know James liked the Backstreet Boys." Said Jesse.

"Would you never mind that?!" Squealed Meowth. "We're in a matter of life and death here!"

"Whoa. What's gone up the cat's ass this time?" Said Cassidy.

"You just shut up!" Jesse yelled.

"Hey, what's wrong with you, today?"

"Yeah, you seem a little cranky yourself." Said Butch.

Suddenly the crowd from behind where the couple were sitting, fled in screams as the Switchblade chopper descended downwards and out of control. Butch and Cassidy were the only ones left in the area. And they took no notice of the Switchblade hovering towards them.

"Hey, maybe you should go see Dr. Dolittle to take care of your feline friend and yourself!" Cassidy and Butch laughed.

"HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Team Rocket shrieked when they flew by their 'friends'. The Switchblade was only a few feet above when it flew right under them. The sound was so tense, leaves and papers flew everywhere and the wind blew on Butch and Cassidy with sheer force. As a result they tumbled into the fountain and got themselves soaking wet. Getting out together, they gazed in shock upon the blue helicopter that had just passed them. They looked at each other's watery faces and were just plain speechless. Butch pointed his hand to the Switchblade while Cassidy took off her sun glasses. They were definitely NOT hallucinating this time.

"We're saved!" Meowth rejoiced when the Switchblade was back on its feet.

"HOORAY!" James hugged Jesse. Jesse elbowed him on the belly.

"No time for that now!" She said. "Now is the time to get on with the race!"

"OFF TO EUROPE!" They all shouted.

"You sure you don't want to come with us, Ernest?" Said Roger Rabbit.

"Nah. You guys go on ahead." Ernest stood with several attractive looking Chinese women. "I'm busy with all these young women, who desperately need my company for the next few weeks."

"You drive pretty good." Said Dolores.

"Thank you, miss." Ernest took off his cap out of politeness.

"We'll miss you." Said Jessica.

"I'll miss you too. You people have a good time wherever you're goin'."

"So long, Ernest." Said Eddie getting back in the driver's seat. "Nice knowing you."

"See you, Ernest!" Roger shouted in the Ratfang. "Have a good time here!"

"Adios, Roger! Until we meet next time!" Ernest waved his cap at the blue van as it drove past him and out of Beijing.

…To Europe…

Author's Note: Yep! That's right people! Please keep voting for your favorite Cannonball winner!

E-mail: charlesxavier85@hotmail.com .