Cyborg 009 Fan Fiction / Lupin III Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Tales of Revenge and Sweet Snow ❯ Yusuke You Jerk: Keiko's Revenge 2 ( Chapter 8 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Tales of Revenge and Sweet Snow

"Yusuke You Jerk: Keiko's Revenge Part II"

Written by: Jesscheaux

Disclaimer: I did not invent, nor do I own, Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters except for Jessi who is me. All the author characters own themselves. This is a self-insert and interactive fic. If you don't like this kind of thing, don't read it. I also do not own DBZ. WARNING: Lots of Hiei OOCness in this chapter. But you'll all like it ;)

Author's notes: YEAH BABY YEAH! Jesscheaux has gotten away from writer's block! More Yusuke torture coming up and some very surprising visitors!!! (Not OCs!) Thanks to Rei for a few of the ideas for this chap, and to Thiny, for helping me think of something really funny to help torture Yusuke and herself. XD! And to Zam Kenobi for suggesting one of the 'guest stars'. DR you made me think of the best thing for you to do! It's all here on 'Tales of Revenge and Sweet Snow--Keiko's Revenge'!

A special thanks to Angel for the idea of a 'Girls night out' on the last chapter, sorry I forgot to mention you last time chica!

To my friend Mei who is always fun to chat with, my partner in crime and Hiei and Kurama torture.

And a VERY special thanks to Lisa aka Kuwabaralover for cheering me up and supporting me. All Kuwabara fans, please go check out her shrine! And don't forget to enter the "I Love Kuwabara" contest! Eee! I'm so excited about it!

* * *

PLUG TIME! I'd like to highly recommend these stories/authors to you guys!

First, by our very own Katgi, whose penname is 'chibi-zayla', "Hiei babysits the Reikai Tantei', it is PURE COMEDIC GENIUS! If you ever wondered where sweet snow came from...this fic is a MUST-READ! Her version of the origin of sweet snow, is AWESOME. Yu Yu Hakusho fans...ya gotta read it!

Next, I'd like to recommend another of our own, Thiny! Her penname is 'Elizabethina Urameshi' and she is a great writer! She has some cool fics going on including a Cowboy Bebop/Trigun crossover, and another crossover between Lupin/Hamtaro/YYH! GO READ HER STUFF NOW!

Next, a new reader of mine and I've had a chance to read one of her fics so far and I must say...IT WAS AWESOME! She is really good at angst! Angst lovers and Kuwabara fans, please read! Yep, we can add 'Dragon of the Rose' to our club of Kuwabara-lovers!!! :) I highly recommend her story, "Full House, You Lose".

________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

The sound of a running brook. The sound of birds chirping. The sounds of the peaceful night...

IS EXACTLY WHAT WE WEREN'T HEARING!

Instead, nothing but malicious, evil laughter filled the tiny cabin that was tucked neatly into the woods. Keiko's vicious laugh was joined by Rei and Hiei's equally evil ones. FuzzyD was getting a little bit scared. He knew Keiko could be evil...but THIS evil? Oh, you bet your button-up boots!

"The plan!" Rei began, then paused and ran over to Hiei and glomped him, "HIEI-KUN!" she hugged him again.

"What are you doing?" Hiei's muffled voice came.

"Hugging you because you're so huggable!"

"Hn."

"Rei, the plan?!" Keiko was getting impatient.

Rei stopped hugging Hiei for a second, "Right! We're going to need a little help..."


Little did they know that help was headed their way...


* * *

Gateway to Spirit World:

"GET HIM!!! YOU CAN'T LET HIM ESCAPE!!!" a red Ogre yelled frantically as a figure rushed past and towards the gateway that would release him from the Spirit Realm.

The smooth, sensuous voice of Suzaku laughed as he made it just in time and slipped through the gate.

"I'm coming for you, Yusuke Urameshi." he said quietly to himself and began laughing again.

He touched down in the forest where he sensed Yusuke's Spirit energy and began slinking towards the temple.

* * *

"Uh huh, Uh huh, Uh huh, YES! Do it tonight....I'll pay whatever it takes! Goooooood....Right-o, Sayonara." Keiko hung up the phone and rubbed her hands together, "THIS will be good."

"Oh you know it." Rei agreed as she produced a box from behind her back.

"That's it?"

"Ohhh, yeah! It's right in here." she winked as she patted the box.

"Great, let's get this show on the road."

And so begins their evil plot....

Keiko and Rei, snickering to each other, looked up inside the window to see Yusuke and Thiny sitting on the couch in GenKai's temple. They were watching TV, probably anime. GenKai was sitting at the kitchen table and drinking green tea.

Hiei motioned for Rei to come around the back side of the temple where he had found an alternate entrance.

Sneaking like secret agents, the group of four made their way inside slowly and stealthily.

Creak....

WHACK!

"Watch where you're going!" Keiko hissed.

The door to the front room was slowly opened, and Keiko and Rei had to slap their hands over their mouths to keep from laughing.

"This is gonna be--"

WHAM!

Before anyone could another word out, it happened.

"YUSUKE URAMESHI AT LAST I HAVE FOUND YOU!" a loud voice boomed from the main entrance of the temple which was now flung wide open.

Yusuke could almost feel his blood run cold; Could it be? THAT VOICE!

Suzaku stepped into the light, arms folded, his face covered in a snarl.

"SUZAKU!" Yusuke stood rapidly and came face to face with his enemy, "I thought you were dead." Yusuke spat.

"Not dead enough apparently," was the waspish reply.

"What do you want from me?! INSANE JERK!"

"From you?" He paused briefly and lowered his voice to a growling whisper, "Your life."

Yusuke was so stunned that he was at a loss for words. His mouth opened and closed a few times and finally he started laughing, "AHAHAHA! Good one guys! Come on 007, you can transform back to your normal form. I know it's you, You sneaky Brit!"

Suzaku was appalled, "This isn't a joke!"

"Come on! You got me good! How you found out about Suzaku I'll never know...but the joke's over!"

"I'm serious. I am NOT this 007 person. I am Suzaku and you would do well not to mock me!"

Keiko and Rei in the meantime were shocked at his appearance:

"OMG, it really is Suzaku!" Keiko covered her mouth, "Perfect! This'll fit in with my torture for sure!"

Suzaku stood a few inches over Yusuke and stomped up until they were eye to eye, "I abhore you, human scum." he grabbed Yusuke by the collar of his green shirt and lifted him a few inches off the ground.

"You sound like Hiei." the undaunted Yusuke fired back sarcastically and chuckled.

"This is no time for laughing, I assure you."

Thiny, after gaping a few minutes, stood up and yelled out to the stranger, "YOU STUPID MORON! HOW DARE YOU THREATEN MY YUSUKE! I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE BUT THIS STOPS NOW!"

The firey, raven-haired beauty pointed a finger menacingly at Suzaku who began to immediately see stars. He dropped Yusuke abruptly and ran over to Thiny.

He grasped her right hand in both of his an stared at her adoringly, "My lady! Please forgive my unscrupulous behavior. I am the demon Lord Suzaku and your faithful servant forever." he bowed.

Thiny blinked a few times and blushed, "My my. Um...ok."

Suzaku led her over to the sofa and guestured for her to sit down. He took her hand and helped her, "My lovely maiden, please tell me your name?"

She blushed again, "My name is...Elizabethina, but everyone calls me Thiny."

"Thiny, such a beautiful name, as graceful and wonderful as you are. It befits you."

"Why, thank you Lord Suzaku."

"Please please, call me Suzaku. Thiny?"

"Yes?"

"I think I have fallen in love with you."

Thiny gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, she didn't know what to say.

Yusuke had picked himself up and was now growling with his hands clenched by his sides.

Keiko, having known Yusuke her whole life, knew that he was about to flip his lid, "HURRY!" she whispered, "This is our chance while Thiny is distracted! Hiei, you get GenKai. Leave Yusuke to us."

"Hn." Hiei agreed and rushed off to dispose of the psychic master. Well, at least to tie her up so she wouldn't stop the Yusuke torture.

Sneaking up behind him slowly, Keiko clapped a hand over Yusuke's mouth and dragged him into a nearby room.

"MMM!! MMM!!" he protested loudly.

Rei slammed the door as Yusuke and Keiko entered the room and locked it with a loud click.

Yusuke, now free, turned around rapidly to face: DUN DUN DUN!!!

HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND!!!! But we all knew that ;)

"KEIKO!" he practially shrieked like a little girl, "What, what are you doing here?"

"Ohhh Yusuke, so nice to see you again. Well, I have a little surprise for you." she guestured to Rei.

Rei walked to the center of the room and opened up the brown box.

KAPOW!!!!

In the blink of an eye, almost as if the box was like a larger version of the Capsule Corp capsules, a TV set and Dance Dance Revolution dancing pad were set up before them.

Yusuke's eyes widened; he knew what this was. Thiny was a DDR maniac with all the best scores, she would play it day and night and it drove Yusuke completely insane.

"No! N! O! NOOOO HO HO HO HO HO! AM I SO NOT GOING ON THERE!"


"Ohhhh yes you are Yusuke Urameshi! Rei will be your coach."

TTWWWWEEET!!!!! A shrill whistle interrupted everyone's hearing as Rei blew on one around her neck. She was now dressed in black sweatpants with a silver dragon running across them. She blew the whistle once more as she pointed to the pad on the floor.

"Yusuke...IT'S TIME TO DANCE DANCE!"

Keiko snickered, trying not to go into full blown laughing, as she pulled out her digital video camera. Not only was she going to torture Yusuke, but she wanted to make sure the WHOLE WORLD saw it!

"Mark my words, this'll be bigger than Teapot-Freakboy!"

Yusuke threw his hands up into the air as he screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

TWEEEEET!!!! "Less talking, MORE DANCING!" Rei selected the hardest song she could find.

Yusuke trembled slightly and glued his eyes to the screen, trying to prepare himself for the madness that was surely about to commence.

"Oh and Yusuke?"

"Yeah?"

"I wouldn't mess up if I were you." Rei cackled evilly and was joined by Hiei, who came in through the window, "Hiei!" she huggled him.

"Hn. I cannot wait to see this." Hiei replied as he hugged her back.

With a last hug to Hiei, Rei pressed play, "OK TEAPOT-FREAKBOY, DANCE DANCE!"

The Lupin the 3rd '78 mix came on, it's rapid beat pulsing, and Yusuke began to DANCE DANCE!

OHHHHH THE HORROR!!!!

Keiko began streaming live footage directly to the world television station, having hacked her way in.

Yusuke missed several steps just then.

"I warned you not to mess up!" Rei chided as chocolate ice cream fell down upon our poor Hero. Miraculously, none of it got on the mat Yusuke was using.

Keiko laughed evilly, joined by FuzzyD who took over taping Yusuke while Keiko danced around him an mocked him.

The Lupin the 3rd song ended and another one began, something about a samurai and ayi yi yi.

Oops! Yusuke missed another step! A mound of whipped cream fell onto him and he growled while he kept dancing.

A few songs later and Yusuke looked like a full fledged ice cream sundae.

Hiei was drooling and Rei had to ducktape him to the wall so that he wouldn't attack Yusuke and devour the ice cream.

Keiko stepped in front of the camera, "Ladies and gentlemen of the world! I PRESENT TO YOU YUSUKE URAMESHI THE HUMAN ICE CREAM SUNDAE!!!! Or is he really human at all?" she cocked an eyebrow.

"Come on Yusuke!" Rei pressed the play button once more, "DANCE DANCE!" a REALLLLY fast song came on and sprinkles poured down on Yusuke as he missed every step and was pounding on the mat and stomping and twirling around. He slipped and fell right on his butt and pouted.

"It's a regular revolution." the Detective snorted from his position.

KAZAAM!!!!

What's this? Another bad guy? YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR!

He burst through the door with the greatest of ease, the daring young demon whose pants have no kneeess!!!!! Ok, so that was lame. Let's just say Rando has a new style. Ripped-up jeans.

"Yusuke? Is that you?" Rando asked incredulously looking at the human article of food.

Yusuke rolled his eyes, "It's me, RANDO. What are you doing here anyway?! What is this, old villains show up night?"

"No." Keiko replied with a smirk, "It's MY REVENGE!" and more evil cackling commenced as lighting crashed outside.

"The old lighting crashes while you laugh evilly gag, eh?" Yusuke snorted.

FuzzyD smiled wickedly and pulled on the cord once again releasing the lighting as he laughed evilly, "BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Rando asked a bit impatiently.

"Oh yeah, the freak! What's up with that skin and hair?" Yusuke spat back at his old opponent.

"Who are you calling a FREAK, 'Teapot-Freakboy'?!" Rando yelled.

"AAAAGH DOES EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THAT?!"

"You bet they do." Keiko spoke up again, "I can't believe we watched it together! RRRR YUSUKE YOU JERK!" she reared back to slap him when Rando caught her hand.

"Don't. I have something oh-so-more diabolical in store for this young punk."

"Be my guest."

"My pleasure." Rando closed his eyes as he held his hands in front of him and began the chant. Only this time it was in English:

"One who is,
And will be,
So much Younger,
Age of three,
Let it happen,
Happen now,
With this stolen chant,
AND HOW!"

POOF!!!!!!!

A cloud of smoke filled the room as the chant finished, obviously stolen from one of Rando's many victims. As the room slowly cleared, one person appeared to be missing.

"Yusuke?" Keiko asked, looking for the greasy-haired boy, but she didn't see him anywhere. She ran up to Rando and punched him in the chest. She would've grabbed him by the shirt and yelled, but he wasn't wearing a shirt. (*drools*) "YOU MADE HIM DISAPPEAR YOU MORON! NOW HOW AM I GOING TO TORTURE HIM?!"

"He didn't go anywhere." Rando stated plainly and guestured to the DDR pad.

Keiko looked down to behold:

CHIBI YUSUKE!!!!!!!! Can't you just hear the chorus of 'Awwwwww's?

The now extremely young punk was mumbling to himself and playing in the ice cream and toppings. "WHEEE! Dis fun!" he ran up to Keiko and pulled on her skirt. Keiko's first reaction was to slap him for being a perv, but she realized he was only three years old, just like she remembered from when they were kids. Yusuke spoke up, "Hey wady! Will you pway wif me?" his eyes shined with Chibi cuteness and Keiko felt her heart melt. She was about to say yes when she remembered who she was dealing with.

"NO! YOU LITTLE BRAT!" she yelled at the poor little child.

Yusuke's eyes began to water, his lip started quivering and he burst out into a full wail, "WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! WADY YOU A MEANY! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

Rando chuckled, "Seems it really brought him back to being a child! He doesn't even realize it, I'm a GENIUS!"

Rei was too busy huggling Hiei to notice what was going on. She un-ducktaped him from the wall and had her arms around his neck. She snuggled into him and sighed, "Hiei..."

Hiei was turning a million different shades of red, extremely unaccustomed to Public Displays of Affection, but he liked it, oh yes he did ;)


And Yusuke was still crying. He banged on the door of the room and somehow got it open. He looked into the next room to see Thiny and Suzaku still talking. Suzaku was doting over Thiny who was bright red as he held her hand.

"PRETTY WADY!" 3-year-old Yusuke exclaimed and ran up to her and tugged on her pant leg, "Pretty pretty wady! Me Yusuke! Pick me up?"

Thiny pried herself away from Suzaku's attention and looked down at the small voice that beckoned her. A hand covered her mouth in a loud gasp as she saw her boyfriend CHIBI-SIZED! "Oh My God..."

Yusuke giggled, "Funny! Hold me, pwease?"

Speechless Thiny picked up the boy and held him in her lap, he snuggled into her and fell fast asleep. She patted him on the head in wonder.

Suzaku had a distinct look of shock on his face, "You have children? I-I had no idea..." his face fell and he turned his head rapidly as a tear fell from his eye. "I'm sorry, I didn't know that you were married. The young one here is the spitting image of his father."

Thiny blushed, "NO NO NO NO NO! We're not married, and we DEFINETLY don't have kids, I'm afraid that this IS Yusuke."

"You don't say." Suzaku patted his once sworn enemy on the head as he slept, "He's adorable. Thiny, let's adopt him!"

"ADOPT HIM?!" she was appalled, "Suzaku, he's my boyfriend! Chibi or no, I still love him..."

"But he can't love you. Don't you see, darling? We are meant to be! Thiny, Elizabethina, Marry me and make me the happiest demon alive."

She opened her mouth to reply...


* * *

Somewhere faaaarrrrr away:

"WEEEEEE'REEEEE HEEEEEEERRRRRREEE!" a loud female voice proclaimed with much enthusiasm.

"Indeed." her more silent and unexcitable companion agreed.

DR rubbed her hands together in absolute delight as the second world came into view. Using her 'World Domination Powers'(TM) she could now fly and touched down on an oh-so-familiar looking ground. The people around her looked VERY animey.

"What kind of world is this?" Hiei, clad in black of course, mused.

"It looks oddly familiar!" DR exclaimed and then looked from her left to her right. She saw a flash of pink and stared very hard in one direction. A few seconds later and her eyes widened to the size of saucers, "OMG HIEI DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE ARE?!"

"Of course I don't! Do you?"

"YEAH! WE'RE IN DBZ! THAT'S MAJIN BUU OVER THERE!"

"DBZ?" confused Hiei had never heard of this DBZ.

"DUH! Only one of the most action-packed animes out there. You know, with Vegeta, Piccolo, Goku, Hercule, Krillin, et cetera. Any of those names ring a bell?"

"No."

Majin Buu walked past them and DR squealed in excitement. (Not to say that she liked Majin Buu in a fangirl sort of way, just that she was really excited about being in the DBZ world.) Hiei, however, only had eyes for the mountainous sweet snow cone that Buu was carrying.

"He has sweet snow..." drool started pouring from his cute little mouth (A/N: Yeah, I called Hiei cute. I can't be mean to him ALL the time can I?) "Must...have...sweet.....snow...." he took off running for the ice cream shop that Buu had come from and DR rolled her eyes as she followed him, "HEY HIEI! WAIT UP! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!"

"Screw the world!" Hiei yelled back, "I'M HUNGRY!"

"Now what kind of talk is that! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Hello? I'm an evil fire demon?" Hiei fired back. (Ya, very OOC I know ;))

"Riiiiiiight" she winked at him, having caught up with her 'World Domination Powers'(TM).

Hiei blushed slightly and screeched to a halt outside the shop and then stormed up to the counter.

"Let me handle this." DR said and looked the clerk straight in the eye, "Hi, I'm DR ruler of the first world and about to be of the second one. If you want to live I suggest you fill two bowls with sweet snow NOW." she formed a small ball of fire in her hand to demonstrate and gave him her most evil glare.

"Y-yes ma'am!" the poor teenaged boy replied. He had only gotten this job to make a few extra bucks, not to be threatened! He quickly completed his task and handed over the bowls of ice cream, bowing slightly.

"Thanks..." she looked at his name-tag quickly, "Chris." and winked.

The two world-dominators sat down at a booth to enjoy their stolen treats.

DING-DING! The bell on the door signaled that another customer had entered the store.

THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!

Captain Obvious: It's always my pleasure to make the obvious, even more obvious. Obvious isn't it?

Jessi: Very.

Moving back along to the story. *cough cough*

"Hey Dad, can I get the *eerie pause* MEGA-SUNDAE?" the owner of a chibi voice asked.

A loud growl was heard, "Brat, you're lucky your mother is the richest woman in the world. If it were up to me, we'd just train all day! Foolish ice cream..." It was none other than everyone's favorite grumpy Saiyan, VEGETA!

DR froze in mid-bite and turned her head robotically to the left. She shook Hiei's shoulder, "OMG HIEI LOOK! It's Vegeta! He's my favorite!" (A/N: At least I hope he is. You mentioned you liked him DR so hehe, there ya go!)

Hiei was just finishing his ice cream, having eaten it in record time, and wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt. He looked over to where DR was guesturing and his eyes immediately narrowed, "It's HIM."

DR quirked an eyebrow, "You know Vegeta?"

Hiei snarled sadisticaly, "No, but I've seen him. He ripped off my hairstyle. I, the great fire demon Hiei, am being mocked and ridiculed!"

"Don't be an idiot! It's just a coincidence you have the same hairstyle."

"I don't think so. I'm going after that baka ningen now!"

"But Hiei, Vegeta's not a--" but DR's words fell on deaf ears, Hiei had no idea that Vegeta wasn't human. Too late, there he goes storming right up to him. What's this?

Vegeta and Hiei are the same height! Aka, short! Bwa ha ha ha ha!

"You." Hiei began and growled deep in his throat directly at Vegeta, "When do you get off impersonating a demon as great as myself?" He lifted his eyes to meet the Prince's and his Jagan eye glowed an eerie purple beneath it's bandanna covering.

Vegeta balked, "WHAT?!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! You're the one who took MY hairstyle, obviously!"

Captain Obvious: HEY! HOW DARE YOU USE THE OBVIOUSNESS! I AM THE ONE AND ONLY CAPTAIN---

Vegeta and Hiei: SHUT UP BAKA NINGEN!

Hiei whipped his head and glared at Veggie once more, "Baka ningen, eh? CALLING YOUR OWN RACE STUPID!"

Vegeta was taken aback and you could see sparks fly around his frame, "I. AM. NOT. A WEAK PATHETIC HUMAN!!!!!!!! You presume that I, the PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS am weak like the human race?! This is a crime WORSE than stealing my hairstyle. DIE ARROGANT SCUM!" he reared back his hand and formed a ball of ki.

(A/N: I used the Vegeta and Hiei fighting over who's hairstyle it was in another fic of mine. It's called "TSR: Special Extras" and was the outtakes and behind the set for my DBZ epic. So I thought it would be just as funny here in the YYH universe! Only here, Hiei initiated it instead of Vegeta in the original. The two are quite different though I assure you. Plus that story has only 3 reviews and one is from myself, HA HA HA!)

Hiei made a ball of fire to counteract the Saiyan no Ouji's ball of ki.

BZZZZZZZZT!!!! The energies clashed together with such a force that neither of them could overpower the other.

"Hmm." Hiei and Vegeta said at the same time. The started circling around each other and glaring, neither one letting their eye contact waver.

DR sighed heavily, getting sick of their tomfoolery, "Take it outside, guys!"

"With pleasure." Vegeta sneered and rushed out the door, little Trunks hot on his heels. The people around them stared dumbly for a few seconds and then went back to eating their ice cream.

Hiei followed rapidly, as always, and DR rolled her eyes and polished off her ice cream. Krillin came in the door just then (A/N: I LOVE KRILLIN! He's so kawaii and funny!)

"Hey miss, was a short, muscular guy with really tall hair here earlier?" the bald monk asked DR.

She nodded, "Yep, took my friend with him too. He's short, muscular and has really tall hair too. Is something wrong, Krillin?"

Krillin gulped as his eyes widened, "YOU KNOW MY NAME?!" he gasped.

"Course I do you silly monk!"

"AND THAT I'M A MONK?! This is mondo-confusing, man..." Krillin kept shaking his head then left.

DR picked up Hiei's power with her 'World Domination Powers'(TM) and followed it to, what else? A deserted field type place with LOTS of rocks.

Yet again the two similar looking guys were in a face off. Vegeta spit on the ground, trying to be macho. Hiei smirked as he thought of a show he had seen once and decided to sing, (Since everyone knows how great a singer he is, really!)

"Total slaughter...
Total slaugher...
I won't leave a single man alive,
La dee da dee dai...
Genocide...
La dee da dee dud,
and Ocean of blood.
Let's begin, the killing time."

DR shook her head a few times while holding a hand to her forehead, "Oh Hiei, WHY! Well, I suppose we'd have to fight them anyway."

Vegeta rolled his eyes, "Demon gibberish! Your foolish song doesn't faze me one single bit. In fact, it just proves what a fool you really are."

Hiei steamed and his bandanna flew off. The Jagan eye widened and glowed purple.

Vegeta's pupils shrunk to the size of pinpricks. This was new.

"Hn. I knew it. You're afraid of me and I don't blame you. Well get ready, VEGETA, this is really going to hurt." Hiei unsheathed his katana and licked the blade, savoring the cold metal against his tongue. Then, he remembered something. "EWWWW GROSS YUCK YUCK PATOOIE!" he started spitting everywhere and wiped his tongue on his cape like a madman, "I can't believe I forgot the cardinal rule of sword licking! My sword is very unsanitary! I'M POISONED!"

"Sissy." Vegeta smirked, "Let me show you a REAL weapon. Ki." he blasted into SSJ 1 and began gearing up his Final Flash attack.

But before anything could happen (You saw that one coming, right?) Everyone's favorite moron, er, Saiyan decided to show up. He touched down on the ground right next to Vegeta and clapped the Prince on the back, "VEGGIE BUDDY! There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere!" Goku grinned broadly at his fellow alien.

"Kakarott you baka! Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?" the angry Ouji snarled at his once enemy and now reluctantly proclaimed comrade.

Goku shielded his eyes with his hand and looked over at Hiei, "OH HEY! Vegeta! You never told me you had a twin! NICE TO MEET YOU!" he yelled.

Vegeta fumed and that vein on his forehead began throbbing, "IMBECILE! He's a fool and an imposter AND NOW I'm about to send him to the NEXT DIMENSION! Preferably HFIL."

Hiei scoffed, "Ludicrous. I have connections in this 'Next Dimension' like you call it."

Goku grinned happily once again, "You know King Yemma?"

"Better. I know his son, I work for him."

"COOL! Here that Vegeta? That's AWESOME MAN!"

Hiei was sick of this, it was time to get down to fighting, "Spare me your sentiments. I am ready to end begin this undoubtedly extremely short fight."

"WHY YOU!" Vegeta lunged for Hiei but Goku caught his arm.

"Nope nope, can't do that!" Goku chided in his ever-so-happy voice.

"AND WHY NOT?!"

"Because! Haven't you heard? There's a group of bad guys on earth with really high power. We have to stop them before they destroy the world."

Vegeta through his hands up, "NOT AGAIN! Can never have a moment's peace...*grumble* all I wanted to do was train in my gravity chamber but NOOOOO the brat needed ice cream--"

"SWEET SNOW!" Hiei interjected, earning a growl from Veg-man.

"IT'S ICE CREAM!"

"SWEET SNOW!"

"ICE CREAM!"

"SWEET SNOW!!!!!!!!"

"NO YOU IDIOT! ICE. CREAM. Say it with me, Iiiicccceeeeeeeeee creeeeaaaaaammm."

"GRRRR SWEET SWEET SWEET SNOW!"

"Hey guys?" Goku asked.

"WHAT IS IT KAKAROTT?!"

"The powers I sensed; It's her." He pointed directly at DR who was mumbling to herself and pacing in a circle.

Goku instant transmitted to her and waved a hand in front of her face, "HI!"

"GOKU?!" DR instantly recognized the happy face of DBZ's hero.

"Yeah! How'd ya know?"

"Long story. Listen, can you get Hiei to stop fighting with Vegeta?"

"Um...nope! I'm afraid we're going to have to kill you so you won't destroy earth." Goku stated plainly as if it was something he did everyday. (Which it pretty much was.)

DR paused for a second and then began laughing, harder than she'd laughed in a while. She slapped her thighs and doubled over in laughter, then fell over and rolled on the ground for a minute. Goku stood there dumbfounded, scratching his head, thinking that this was the strangest villain he'd ever encountered.

Once DR composed herself, she stood up, snickered a bit more and then clapped Goku on the shoulder, "Relax. I want to rule the world, not destroy it!"

Goku smiled, "Well, that sounds ok to me! Gee, you're a really nice bad guy!"

Hercule appeared suddenly with Majin Buu, "HI HO EVERYBODY! IT IS I HERCULE, CHAMPION OF THE WORLD AND THE MAN WHO DESTROYED CELL! YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"

"Hey Hercule!" Goku greeted him warmly, "How's the world ruler doing today?"

"WORLD RULER?!" DR exclaimed, "WHAT THE--"

"Oh yeah!" Goku started to tell the tale of Hercule's world ruling, "Ya see, old Hercule here was so popular, and everybody loved him so much that they decided to make him the supreme ruler of earth. He kept pretty much everything the same, so everything is cool! He's a good leader."

Vegeta was meanwhile smashing his head into a rock repeatedly.

Hiei began jumping up and down like a monkey, and spit some more, remembering that he licked the DUN DUN DUN! CONTAMINATED BLADE!

"Well, this'll be easier than I thought." DR smirked and walked up to the 'World Champ' "Hey afro-man! Can I have your autograph?"

Hercule's violet eyes lit-up, "Sure can little-lady! Anything for a fan!" he signed the slip of paper that had an awful lot of writing on it already, "There ya go!"

DR clasped the paper to her chest and let out a sound of joy.

Goku was amused. Hiei thought she was crazy.

"My, what a dedicated fan!" Hercule beamed.

"BUU!" Majin Buu agreed.

"HA HA HA HA HA! Hercule, you're dumber than I thought! That wasn't an autograph! YOU JUST SIGNED COMPLETE CONTROL OF THE WORLD OVER TO ME! BWA HA HA HA THIS WORLD IS MINE MINE MINE ALLLL MINE!"

Hiei looked relieved, "Does that mean we can leave now?"

"Yep! Let's go!" DR agreed happily and waved to Vegeta and Goku as she took off. Hercule stared up dumbfoundedly and began crying like a little baby.

"It ok, buddy Hercule! You and Buu have fun now, yes?"

"Sure, whatever Buu, being the supreme ruler of the world wasn't all that great anyway." he replied and they walked off.

GOOOO DR! She's got one more world left and it's on to the 7 hells!



But some one else got sucked into DBZ also, make that two people:


"Blah blah blah, mission, blah blah blah, Hiei, blah blah blah, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!" Koenma had been droning on about some sort of mission for Colleen and Hiei to go on but they weren't really paying attention. Instead, they were staring at a shiny, mesmerizing mirror that was on the wall.

"Shinyyy..." Colleen said and started walking towards it.

"Stop! No! Don't touch it!" Koenma warned, but it was in vain.

Colleen's hand met the silvery smooth glass and disappeared into it. The rest of her soon followed as she was: SUCKED INTO ANOTHER DIMENSON OOOH CUE THE SCARY MUSIC!

Hiei ran in after her, not about to let his woman get sucked into another dimension without him, no way!

KA-BUMP! KA-BUMP! They hit the ground hard on their butts, one after the other. This dimension they were in, YES IT WAS DBZ! And none other than Piccolo and Cell were standing 20 yards away!

"What was that?" Piccolo asked as he caught something out of the corner of his eye and heard it with his super namek hearing.

"Stop trying to distract me from the fight, Piccolo! I'm even more perfect than before and I'M KILLING YOU FIRST!"

For you see, Cell had contacted a human using a Ouji board (A/N: Hey weird! Ouji is spelled the same as the japanese word for 'Prince' in Saiyan no Ouji!) and told them to get the dragonballs and wish 'Perfect Cell' back from the dead with them. The poor child had blinded obeyed his demands and yet again the green bug-man was let loose upon the DBZ world. He went after Piccolo first, claiming they had that score to settle from long ago.

Colleen looked towards her two favorite characters and her eyes became little hearts, "OMG, IT'S CELL AND PICCOLO!"

The fighters, hearing their names, looked over to the source of the voice. The beautiful young girl ran towards them and glomped them in succession. "I LOVE YOU GUYS! YOU'RE LIKE THE COOLEST EVER!" she kept on hugging them.

Hiei, as you can imagine, was none too happy about this development! He 'Hn'ed' quietly to himself, while plotting the demise of the 'green alien freaks'.

"Who ARE you?" Piccolo asked her, wondering how she even knew who they were.

"The name's Bond, Colleen Bond. *snicker* OK JUST KIDDING! I always wanted to say that. Just call me Colleen."

Cell looked at her curiously, "Colleen, you say?"

She nodded hyperly and began touching Cell's wings, "Oooh they're so shiny! Take me flying! Pleaaaassseeee?????" she looked at him with her best 'cutey pouty' face.

The magenta-eyed android felt something inside of him melt as he nodded curtly, "Well, I guess that would be ok. Hop on!"

"WHHHHEEEEE!!! OH YES YOU'RE THE BEST!"

A soft pink powder floated down around Piccolo and Cell just then. Colleen was unaffected by it, but the author knew what it was *wink* LOVE POWDER OF DOOM!!!!

As the Namek and the Bio-Android breathed in the pinky pinkness, emotions were awakened in them, emotions they'd never before felt. And what emotion is it that starts with an L? Oh yes, LOVE! And who was it directed towards? COLLEEN!

"Colleen, you smell so nice." Cell murmured as she climbed on his back.

Piccolo growled, "What do you think you're doing with my woman?!"

Cell was taken aback, "YOUR woman? HA! This lovely young lady is MINE! And I'm taking her for a ride like I promised."

"No you're not. I'm going to take her!"

"NO ME!"

"ME!"

They began arguing back and forth and Colleen got down from Cell's back and stood next to them and clasped her hands, "Ah, my two favorite DBZ characters fighting over ME! How much better can it get?"

"It can't." the familiar voice of Hiei chimed in as he came up behind her, "Colleen, what is the meaning of this?"

She sensed something in his voice that she'd never heard before, "Hiei, are you...jealous?"

"Me? Jealous? Hn."

"I'll take that as a yes."

"I'm sorry, I can't take you flying."

"It's ok, that's what these guys are for!"

"......."

"Awww Hiei, don't be like that!"

"Hn...."

Cell walked up to her and knelt down on one knee, "Beautiful Colleen, will you do me the honor of marrying me and being my wife?"

Piccolo became enraged as a shocked Colleen opened and closed her mouth a few times. Piccolo knelt on the other knee, "Don't marry that buffoon! He's evil! Marry me instead, oh gorgeous and perfect one!" he materialized a three carat platinum diamond solitaire.

"NO FAIR YOU HAVE POWERS LIKE THAT!" Cell screamed.

The two began fighting amongst themselves again and Hiei's blood began boiling, "ENOUGH!!!!!!" he yelled, loud enough to burst Piccolo's eardrums.

"If anyone is going to marry Colleen, it's going to be me." he stated plainly, with a tint more emotion in his voice.

Colleen colored a lovely red, "Do you mean it Hiei?"

"Hn." he nodded.

"OH HIEI I AM SO SO HAPPY!" she ran and hugged her beloved, "Maybe Annie will want to have a double wedding!"

Chibi Koenma appeared seconds later, "There you are you idiots! GET BACK TO OUR DIMENSION NOW!" he opened up a Hiei-sized portal and they all walked through, Hiei holding Colleen in his arms and kissing her.

Koenma shook his head, "Kids." he then saw the other two fighters and the pink dust floating around them. He waved a fist at the sky, "JESSSSSSSSSCHEAAAAUXXX!!!! Stop messing with their minds!" he yelled to the authoress, and with a wave of his hand the pink dust disappeared and Piccolo and Cell resumed fighting to kill each other. Whoo hoo!

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!

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Ah, I'd forgotten how much I love to write for the DBZ characters! I had ALOT of fun with this chapter! Colleen, surprise! See, I made it up to you for forgetting to invite you to the sleepover. I hope you likey! And Thiny, SUZAKU LOOVEEESSS YOU! To Katgi and fire goddess: I have something special planned for you and your Hieis the next chapter! Stay tuned! Hey, I wasn't in this chapter, Hehehehe! Except when I said something to Captain Obvious! And when Koenma yelled at me. I kinda feel that Keiko's revenge isn't as funny as some of the other ones, but I'm ok with that! Keiko is more fun as the TORTUREE instead of TORTURER, don't worry I'm gonna torture her good in the next revenge! BWA HA HA!

NEXT TIME ON 'Tales of Revenge and Sweet Snow': Will Yusuke be a chibi forever?! And how will Thiny answer Suzaku's question?! Two of the Hieis are acting weird...wonder what it could be. And will Kurama be in this one at all? Another group of guests are coming and we'll find out about the mysterious phone call that Keiko made during this chapter! IT'S ALL HERE NEXT TIME ON YUSUKE YOU JERK: KEIKO'S REVENGE!!!!!

Be Kind, Review ^.^