Cyborg 009 Fan Fiction ❯ The rewards of insomnia ❯ One-Shot

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It was useless... I couldn't make it. I hit my pillow one more time and shifted my position, but I knew the sleep wouldn't come. It was already 3:00 a.m. and I had not been able to close my eyes and rest for even 5 minutes.

Not that it was the first time it happened. Since my... change, it had been difficult for me to fall asleep. Professor Gilmore says that it's due to my speed; the excited molecules of my body leave the ones in my mind too energized during a large amount of time, or something like that, I didn't pay much attention.

Finally I sat up and gave a sigh.

Normally, when this happens, I often go out and take a long walk. I like feeling the sand between my toes, breathing the sea air. Sometimes it is more a run than a walk, if I feel too desperate, but the rain drops hitting my window convinced me to not bond with nature that night, so I just kept sitting on the edge of my bed, looking into a dark corner of the room, hearing the huge silence that surrounded the house.

I hate silence. It makes me think, wonder, remember, blame and even hate.

I was deciding rain was preferable than silence when a noise called my attention; it was the weak cry of a baby, so feeble that I could barely hear it, then I heard a door opening, light footsteps in the hallway and at last, another door being opened.

A minute latter the crying stopped.

I knew what it was, 001 had awaken and 003 got up to see him, it is just that I had never heard 001 waking up at this hour, but it was probably because I was either asleep or outside, taking one of those walks. I realized that surely this happened quite a lot, and 003 always went to 001's aid.

003... other reason why I couldn't sleep lately. In day time it was easy to deny what I felt as I interacted with other people and we had to defeat evil plans and stuff, but at night I couldn't avoid her image in my mind... her fair skin, her sweet blue eyes, her slender figure... I must confess that my thoughts were not always innocent about her, but my thoughts stayed with me and I treated her always with respect.

Some times those thoughts made me feel embarrassed. How could I look at her in the morning with sincerity when I had been fantasying about her the last night? I don't know how, but I managed to do it.

After a while I didn't hear 003 returning to her room, and curiosity got the best of me, so I put a shirt on and silently, got out of my room and headed to the semi opened door of 001's nursery.

I looked in, not daring to reveal my presence, and saw 003 in a blue pajama and a matching robe; her blonde hair was made in a pony tail. She was sitting in a rocking chair holding 001 in her arms. She was feeding him his bottle while she hummed softly some song that must be well known for all French children. 001 seemed to like it, for he was falling asleep again, between little baby smiles and some unconscious kicks that were slowly fading.

"I wonder if she could get me to sleep too," I thought for a second, half joking, half not.

The scene looked so quiet and tender that I didn't want to interrupt, so I decided to leave and started to walk away.

"You don't have to leave, he is already asleep."

A voice called after me, I turned around. 003 was looking at me smiling, pointing her free hand to her ear reminding me of her super senses. My face burned, surely I was blushing. From all the involuntary reactions of the human body, blushing is the one I detest the most. Of course, when it happens to me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to spy on you, I was just..."

She rose up and went to the crib. I decided to walk in and stand next to her while she lied 001 down. She covered him with a quilt and caressed his forehead. I was feeling very dumb, just being caught and now not saying a word, so I spoke the first thing that came to my mind.

"This is so strange, I am so used to 001's logic and self consciousness that it is hard to remember that he is a baby after all."

"Yeah... after all. I think that even he forgets it, but it is often in his R.E.M. or in light slumber that he reacts like any other infant would, according to Dr. Gilmore."

Then she looked at me, smiled and then turned her attention to 001 again. Her smile was a tired one, but I'd dare to say that it was also a sad one.

"Why you tend on 001 with such love? I mean, we all are a team and we all care for him, but since the beginning you took him in like a... well, you know."

"Like a mother?" she completed the sentence for me.

"Well... yeah."

She took a deep breath and left the room, I followed her closing the door behind me. 003 walked towards the kitchen and put the empty bottle in the sink, then she went to the fridge, its light illuminating for seconds the dark room, and got the orange juice out. I took two glasses and put them on the table.

"Are you joining me with a glass of juice?" She spoke with a teasing tone and a half smile in her lips. I loved those lips, if only I could...

"Yeah, I can't sleep anyway."

"Well, sleep is gone for me as well," she responded while she moved her shoulders.

We sat down, one in front of the other and for a couple of minutes nothing was said. Rain was still falling and now some thunders accompanied it.

"003..." I started, but I saw a disgusted gesture appearing in her face. I had noticed it before... Lately, whenever we are not on a mission or battle, 003 flinches at her number. I decided to ask her why, anyway, if she didn't want to answer, she could remain silent, like she did with my past question.

"You really don't like to be called by your number, do you?"

"Do you?" she asked back, "do you like being referred as a number? It just reminds me of what I lost... I try so hard to remain human, We try to remember constantly that no matter what is inside us, that our hearts and minds are still the same, and yet we call ourselves like if we were some kind of product that came out of a factory, not that it is away from reality."

Her words were calm as ever, but I could sense so much anger and bitterness... it hurt me deep, for her, for me, for all of us. I felt a knot in my stomach.

I always try hard not to think about what has been done to me, but see to the future instead, but there she was... talking about the very same things I try so hard to avoid. I suddenly felt the immense necessity to make her feel better.

"What if we use your name instead of 003?"

"I don't know that either, it's been so long since some one called me like that, I am just confused right now."

She turned her eyes to the window and then drank some of her, until now, untouched juice. I gave a sip to my own and added: "I haven't heard my name in a long time either". I wondered secretly how would my name sound in her lips. What would it be like to be called by her with joy, anger, tenderness... or desire?

"Joe..."

the sound surprised me greatly, for a moment I wasn't sure if I had really heard it or if it had been my imagination, but it had been real. 003 had called me by my name, and it caused a warm sensation to spread through my body. I looked in her blue eyes, she was smiling.

"Well, there it is, you heard you name again, how was it?"

I didn't know what to say, I opened my mouth twice, but all I could do was to give her a smile. Finally I was able to speak. "Sounds nice, hearing mi name from you, thanks... Francoise"

The last part of my sentence was said with insecurity, but still, it was now her turn to blush. She lowered her head shyly and said with a low voice: "Fran"

"Uhm?"

"They used to call me Fran"

I wondered who "they" were. Family? Friends? Boyfriends? I decided no to think about that.

"I like it, we using our names, would you like us to call you Fran from now on?"

She shifted uncomfortably and rested her elbows on the table.

"I am not sure..."

I decided to give it a shot. "Would you like it if I called you Fran?"

She looked into my eyes and grinned. "Yes, I'd like that very much, but not in front of the others, and of course, only if I get to call you by your name as well"

"Sounds fair," I said and took more juice. I wondered why she didn't want the others to call her by her name if the number 003 was bothering her so much.

Another silence fell between us while we drank our juice, but I enjoyed it; the sound of the rain outside and our low voices whispering in the dark. Occasional thunders illuminated her face in blue sparks. To me she looked beautiful.

It may be silly but I started to get scared, scared that once our talk was done, and our glasses were empty, she would leave and for a second, that thought terrified me. I didn't want her to leave, I wanted her to stay and I wanted us to talk and drink juice in the kitchen forever. Even if I felt confused by these feelings, I did want her to stay, so I decided to repeat my first question to talk some more.

"You didn't tell me why you care so much for 001"

I immediately damned myself. The grin I had managed to get from her was gone and a shadow clouded her eyes. She looked down again and felt silent, then I saw a single tear falling down her cheek.

"Hey, F...Fran, what's wrong?" I got up from my chair and sat next to her, to my surprise, she hugged me and hid her face in my neck, she wasn't sobbing but I could feel my shirt getting wet. I put my arms around her and hugged her tight. It felt so good; her body in my arms, I could smell her hair, I just wished the situation was different.

After some minutes she separated from me, and I couldn't believe how much it hurt me not perceiving her heat any more. She got a napkin and cleaned her eyes and nose, then she whispered her sorry. I put my hand over hers and squeezed it, reassuring her.

"Why are you like this? What is happening? Please tell me," I begged. She looked at me and then her sight got lost at some spot in the wall behind me. We stayed like that for a minute and I started to think that she wouldn't talk to me at all, but finally she spoke.

"I always thought I'd be one."

"One what?" I asked confused, she looked down again.

"A mother."

The answer left me with even more questions than before but I decided to keep silent and listen. Francoise gave a sigh and a last tear drop escaped her eyes. She continued.

"Professor Gilmore confirmed it for me today, he wasn't sure, because he had nothing to do with that procedure, but I should have known already, after all... What for does a cyborg need an uterus?"

I felt cold from head to top, her words echoing in my head... I understood now her mood, her desire to feel more like a human; like Fran, and less like 003, the cyborg.

"You mean, you can't..."

She shook her head. "We keep many human organs, but apparently they thought I wouldn't need some of them, so they took them out. Of course... I noticed some changes, like the lack of my period, but deep in me I had hopes, that whatever was done to me could be reversed, that I could some day have a normal life again, that I could have children, I always wanted to have them, but now... one more dream is gone... and I feel like there is not much left to fight for."

I always wanted to get closer to Francoise, and now there we were, talking about a theme so private to her, so intimate. I didn't know what to think, or say. A dull pain nested in my chest and I felt like if I couldn't breath properly. I hated them all in that moment, I hated black ghost, I hated his organization, I hated any one who had to do with her present pain, and all I wanted to do was to make them pay. Make them suffer.

But I tried to let go those feelings, they were of no use for me, or her. All that occurred to me was offer her my arm again and to my surprise she let herself rest in my chest. I caressed her hair and gave her a kiss on the top of her head.

"There is plenty to fight for Fran, maybe you will not have the family you dreamed of, but you have us, we are your family now, we love you, and when everything is over with black ghost we will be able to start a new life"

"We will go in different ways probably. Why staying together if there is really the chance to start our lives again? I might start over, but there will be no family for me Joe."

"I would never leave you." The words were out of my mouth even before I realized it, my heart started beating fast, so fast that it should have been impossible for Francoise's super hearing senses not to notice it.

She rose and looked at me, she seemed surprised, but not mad. She took my hand then, I was blushing again, I could feel it. She asked me with trembling voice, "Really?"

Really? I asked myself. Did I say those words sincerely? I looked inside of me and the answer was as clear as water. I had always known, but I didn't realize it until that moment. I rose as well.

"Really."

Her eyes started to water again, but this time a smile was forming in her lips. I cupped her face in my hands and got closer. I couldn't resist it, I had to kiss her.

Our lips joined in a tender kiss and her arms went to my neck. She parted her lips and allowed me to deepen the kiss, my tongue tasting her with hunger. I felt in heaven, I lost track of place or time, all I knew was that I was kissing Francoise, and that she was kissing me back.

I drew her closer to me, my arms around her waist, our kisses deepening more and more. I started kissing the line of her jaw and her ear when she suddenly separated from me, but I still had her by the waist.

"Joe, what are we doing?"

It was not that she didn't want me, I could see the desire in her eyes, but I had to agree that this was not a good way to start a relationship, if that was what we were doing. I had so little in life, and I longed for her so much, I needed her. I decided to say it.

"Francoise, I think I am in love with you."

She smiled like I had never seen her smile before and hugged me.

"I think I love you too Joe."

We stayed like that for a long time, I couldn't say how much, but I didn't want it to end. I knew we had finally given a very important step. I took Francoise's face between my hands again and rested my forehead against hers.

"I am sorry that you can't have babies, I'd give anything to make it alright for you."

"It's ok, I think I will be able to go through this after all, if you are by my side."

"I will be, I will," I said and then I gave her a little kiss on the tip of her nose.

"I think… we should go back to our rooms," She suggested.

"Ok," I said and hugged her once again, smelling her scent, fascinated at the fact that from now on, I'd get the chance to be like this with her more often.

We separated and started walking to our rooms, I saw her open her door, and caught her hand before she entered. "Promise me we will not pretend that it was a dream, in a couple of hours when I see you again. I mean it Fran, I want to be here for you."

She smiled. God, I loved her smile. "I promise Joe."

She turned and closed the door softly. I just stayed there, looking at the closed door, as if looking hard enough I could suddenly develop X-ray vision and see her again. That thought reminded me that Francoise did have x-ray vision and that she was probably looking at me looking at her door. I blushed again, smiled and went to my own room.

The clock marked 3:38 a.m. already. I took of the shirt and lied down, closing my eyes. I couldn't believe what had happened, it was like a dream, I felt more alive than I had felt in a long time.

Suddenly there was a soft click. I sat up and saw Francoise at the entrance of my room, she was biting her lower lip and playing nervously with her robe.

"I... I was wondering if I could stay with you tonight... I mean, I don't want to do anything, I just want to sleep in your arms, if... if that is ok with you."

I moved to the side of my bed and patted the recently liberated space, indicating her that it was more than available. She closed the door and came near slowly, I could see her trembling a little. I was nervous as well, I won't deny it.

She took off her robe and slid into bed next to me, I offered my arm and she lied putting her head on my bare chest, I embraced her then and pulled the sheets over our bodies. Francoise gave a deep sigh and cuddled. I felt my heart melting.

"Is this weird for you?" She asked.

"A little, but I could get used to it very easy, and you?"

"A little... but I like it, the sound of your heart is so soothing."

I extended my hand and programmed the clock alarm to sound at 7:30 a.m. so she could go back to her room unnoticed. Who knows what would happen if some one, let's say 002 saw Francoise getting out of my room in plain morning?

Francoise's breath became more and more spaced and, in minutes she was already asleep. I stayed awake for another hour at least, watching her sleep, caressing her soft hair. God, I was truly in love, and nothing else would happen to this beautiful angel as long as I was alive, that I swore to myself.

I started to fall asleep too, and with that last promise I let myself rest, with my beloved treasure in my arms and a new reason to keep on fighting. I was happy.

Fin

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So what did you think? You love now? You want to kill me? That's alright, but Please let me know. Review.

English is not my first language so please, forget any mistake.