D. Gray-man Fan Fiction ❯ Circus of Night ❯ Lie Down with Me Tonight ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: Of all the things I own, sadly these characters that I play dress up with here are not mine…

 

Warning: Colorful language from our… Master…

 

Note from Israfel: Okay before you read understand the yes, Cross is parental towards Allen, but also NOT. He knows and understands his feelings much more then most characters in this fic and even though he acts parental towards him he also doesn't. Cross knows he loves Allen, the question is whether it is parental or not. As for Allen…he is trying to latch onto to something/one that is solid and will not hurt him, something/one that is stable…

 

 

CircUs of NIghT

 

~Lie Down with Me Tonight~

 

 

Allen cannot believe the feeling inside of his chest. He doesn't understand it, doesn't understand what it means, or even why it's there. He knows that he should recall having felt it before yet he can't…he can't remember a lot of things. He feels like he is being suffocated but for once he's not afraid of the feeling. He's not as afraid of this man as he thinks he should be.

 

The boy closes his eyes as the red-haired man waits patiently for the Circus Master to appear.

 

They have been moved into another room, one that is filled with minimal furniture and gives off the feeling of an office. The air is thick and Allen feels like he is having trouble breathing. The smoke emanating from the man's cigarette has nothing to do with it though, in fact he's found that it calms him some.

 

The air in the room feels thick and still, almost stagnant like. Allen knows that this room is seldom used, knows that most slaves are too expensive to be bought. He has a feeling that he will be too, that the man will not be able to pay for him. The thought makes his already constricted chest feel tighter. Something is said and he opens his eyes, letting them drift towards Cross, but not quite making it to his face.

 

“How much do you remember of your past?”

 

Allen feels like his heart is being squeezed, like he can't breath. Something is suffocating him like the first time he woke up in that small room. He doesn't know what to say, or even where he should begin. His head is starting to ache, a pressure building behind his eyes and in his temples.

 

“I-I don't know anything…” He can feel the small of his back start to burn again, a dull ache growing in intensity. “I only know this place, and how I'm to act.” Cross lets out a sound that is something of a snort.

 

“Like how you acted back there?” He is staring up at the ceiling, watching the smoke from his cigarette drift up into the air. He doesn't expect a response to his thought, doesn't expect Allen to say anything more.

 

“If I don't please my customers then I…” Cross tilts his head down and stares at the boy on the other end of the couch. He takes in his posture, in his slightly hunched back, his legs pulled together, his hands clamped onto the hem of the short kimono. “I am punished if they are dissatisfied…and then I am to do as they wish…”

 

For a moment Cross is speechless. He can feel an anger rise up in his chest, one of pure loathing and hatred for this place, for turning Allen into-that-into something he never wanted the boy to go through, something that he had promised Mana he'd never let him do…

 

Allen closes his eyes, feeling suffocated again. He wants to leave the room, to just go to sleep, he's afraid of the man next to him but he's even more afraid of the customers he has yet to see. He wants to be bought but he doesn't want to be hurt. He knows that he doesn't have a say in who owns him though, he lost his freedom long ago, before he can remember.

 

-

 

Lavi is waiting outside of Linalee's room.

 

She is to return soon, after she sees her brother, after she tells him about how Krory has been doing, after she learns about… The redhead looks up hearing footsteps coming down the hall. Linalee is practically running at him, her steps frantic and hurried. The look on her face is of utter joy and it breaks his heart some.

 

He is becoming more and more worried about Allen's mind.

 

The small female comes to a hurried stop before him, setting her suitcase down beside her. Her eyes are large and her face looks alive for once, Lavi can't help but return the smile.

 

“He's coming back!” She gasps out, her eyes showing her emotions all too clearly. “Cross is going to bring him back to us!” Lavi wants to say something, wants to tell her that he is as excited and relieved as she is…but…his worry is eating away at him.

 

He hates himself for it, for wanting to cut his visit with Linalee short, even after having waited in the hall for her.

 

…but he can't deny his thoughts anymore…

 

“Is your brother still in his office?” The female gives him a small nod of the head before she remembers something.

 

“He wanted to speak to you, he asked me to find you for him…” Lavi is a little shocked by this but tries to not let it show.

 

“I'll come back after I talk to him, you need the time to unpack too right?” Linalee just smiles at him as he hurries off down the hall, trying not to look rushed or eager… His mind is spinning and he wonders if something has happened, if Cross was unable to retrieve Allen. He tells himself that is impossible because the man is Cross.

 

Lavi comes to a sudden halt before the large door and closes his eyes, willing his breathing back to normal. He raises his hand to knock on the door when he realizes that someone has approached him from behind. The redhead turns to see Bookman standing behind him, with an unreadable look on his face. “I'm surprised you got here before me…”

 

“Uh…Linalee told me he needed to see me…” Lavi feels stupid for some reason, an unfamiliar sensation rising up in the back of his mind. He is given a look, one that he normally gets when he has done something stupid, but the older man doesn't say anything. He steps past his student and on into the Asian man's office.

 

Komui looks up upon seeing them enter the room. He plasters a small, almost real, smile onto his face. Lavi knows that the smile won't become real until Allen has stepped back into the headquarters, until he has made sure that the boy is fine and that-

 

“I didn't expect you so soon…” The statement is aimed at the youngest male and he suddenly feels vulnerable.

 

“I wanted to let Linalee unpack in privacy…” Bookman moves over to sit on the couch and Lavi is left standing. Komui stares at him a moment, taking in his statement before nodding. The redhead flops down on the couch.

 

“The two of you know that Allen has been missing…” The Asian man has taken on a tone that the youngest male has not heard in a while, the tone that tells him he is going on an important assignment…

 

“…and that Cross has found him. I made an agreement with him the other day that if he were to retrieve Allen he wouldn't have to bring him back to the Order.” Lavi's mouth drops open and he is about to say something, only he is suddenly silenced with a look from Bookman.

 

“You want us to go and retrieve him right?” Komui nods picking up a file from atop the stack of papers he has been working on recently.

 

“Yes, but you running into Cross and him will be accidental as the Order has not allowed me to send anyone out to bring him back yet. That's why the assignment you are going on is something that has been…altered…”

 

-

 

The woman has taken a seat at the desk across from them. Her eyes are dark and her expression is dim, she does not look pleased. The tension that has been in the air has grown to such an extent that it feels tangible, making it even harder for Allen to think. He feels dizzy, and he wants to close his eyes and go to sleep, to escape the tension. The moment he closes his eyes though he feels like he is falling…

 

“You want to purchase him?” Cross nods, his eyes on the Circus Master as she pulls a paper from the desk drawer.

 

“He is an expensive treat to buy, I can offer others at a lower price-”

 

“No,” The red-haired man's voice is deadly and it frightens Allen some, causing him to hunch over a little more. “I want him and I'll pay full price…” The Circus Master leans back in her chair, taking in the man's appearance and facial expression.

 

She smiles coldly at him…

 

“The Order is wanting him back that badly?” Allen does not understand her words and Cross glares at the woman. “Well if that's the case then I'm going to just let you go…but…” Her eyes drift towards Allen. He can feel them too, can feel the discontent behind them. He can't help but stiffen his body in response.

 

He doesn't understand why she is giving him away, why she doesn't raise his price. He knows that something will happen, that he will pay for his freedom with something. He doesn't know what though, he doesn't have a clue what the woman might want…he has nothing after all.

 

No clothes of his own,

 

No objects of sentimental value,

 

Not even memories…

 

“Flower, stand and come here.” Cross shifts his eyes to the boy and watches as he does what he is told, as he keeps his head down and moves silently. The Circus Master shifts in her seat, turning to the side as Allen stops beside her. She stares at him, at his clothes that were hurriedly placed back on him, at his two different hands, at the designs on his feet, at the vines and moyashi that creep up his arm and neck and onto his face.

 

“Your appearance is one of my favorite creations, Night Phlox, but it seems you cannot stay here…” The woman reaches up, her hand trailing softly down his cheek, his shoulder and over his chest, stopping at the sash. “But…I think it's time you left, you're more trouble then your worth, killing that man and all…” To this Allen looks up at her, shock written clear on his face.

 

“Hush now little one, you've forgotten all about that messy business…” Cross frowns deeply, an anger growing in his chest the more the woman speaks to Allen, his fear becoming more apparent on his face with each word that is said.

 

The Circus Master raises her hand up to Allen's face, touching his cheek that is partially covered in vines, forcing his chin up a little. She waits a moment, lost in her own thoughts before sitting up straight and touching both of Allen's temples.

 

The boy's eyes snap open, wide and terrified, as the room is suddenly lost to him, lost to a blur of color and dizzying shapes. He can hear something being said, something being told to him, but he doesn't know what is happening. He feels like a pressure is growing in side of his head and it's getting to be unbearable.

 

Allen lets out a scream, his arms flying up to grab a hold of his head, to try and pull the woman's hands from him. He can't though, he feels weak, disconnected with the room. The pain that is coursing through his head is unbearable, worse then the sound has ever been. He feels an arm wrap around his waist, pulling him somewhere.

 

It's too late though, his head feels like it's going to explode and he's crying, begging for everything to stop, to stand still long enough for him to at least be able to see again. He can hear shouting, but it sounds so far away from him…

 

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM?” Cross is screaming, his arm wrapped firmly around Allen's waist, his gun pointed directly at the woman. She smiles though, smiles and stands, moving towards where the man has pulled the boy back to.

 

“Finishing his curse, the one that every slave gets when they leave here.” Cross glares at her, daring her to come closer. He is torn between attacking the woman and trying to help Allen. He can tell that there is obviously something wrong with him now, something added to the rest of his problems.

 

“You can't use that weapon here, this is my time, my land…” The Circus Master smiles sadistically as she moves closer to Cross, with in arms length. He is frozen though, frozen because the second she puts her hands on Allen's head again his breathing slows down and his eyes, wide and panic stricken, begin to close. The boy is crying still, crying tears of blood as the woman's voice echoes through his skull, mind numbing and ear shattering. -Why haven't I died yet?-

 

-

 

On your back, a Lotus is Engraved

 

Those flower petals will fall

 

One…By one…

 

Till you have been left with none

 

Seek during the day, provoke during Nights shade

 

Find your hearts call

 

And take to bed, that one

 

Spread your legs, and let them inside

 

Only that one

 

For a toy of mine you shall be

 

If the one inside you is not of your hearts call

 

Or if that last petal is to fall…

 

-

 

Cross can't seem to focus, not on the woman before him, not when Allen is trembling in his arms, whimpering and begging for the world to stop moving. He shoves the Circus Master back and pulls the boy closer to himself, closer to his body. He sheaths his gun and turns Allen to look at him.

 

The boy's legs can't seem to support him and he is toppling over, speaking incoherently. Cross is hating the woman more then ever now, detesting her very being for having done this to him. The red-haired man tries to wipe the blood from the boys face, tries to calm him. He realizes that he is having no affect though, not when the red tears keep coming.

 

“What did you do to HIM?” The man grits out through clenched teeth, lifting Allen up with one arm.

 

“I told you, I finished his curse…” The Circus Master smiles dangerously at the two of them. “You heard it too, that he only has so much time…better leave here then…” Cross does not need to be told twice, does not want to stay there any longer. He turns and heads out the door.

 

He is worried about Allen, about how he is still bleeding from his eyes, how his breathing is still so ragged and uneven. Cross tries to talk to him, to get him to say something as he hurries through the halls. The boy doesn't speak though, doesn't even look at him.

 

His eyes are blank and he looks like he's not seeing anything anymore. The red-haired man shifts how he is holding the boy as they turn another corner. Allen leans into him, his hands weakly grabbing at his jacket. Cross is reminded of a time long ago when he had first taken the boy in, had to carry him in a similar manner.

 

He had not been filled with so much hatred at that time though…

 

Cross is suddenly pulled to a stop as he turns onto the hall that leads out of the Circus. He silently curses to himself as he turns around, prepared for whatever threat that he is to face now. He is shocked though, surprised that the woman who led him to Allen's room earlier that night is standing there, her eyes looking fearful.

 

“The one he loves…it was a man with dark hair-” The woman's voice suddenly halts, her face displaying her fear. Cross frowns deeply as Ivonne drops to her knees, her hands holding her head.

 

“You stupid woman!” The Circus Master hisses as she hurries down that hall towards them. “You stupid, stupid WOMAN!” Allen shivers in Cross' arms, reminding the man that they are near the exit. He wants to help the female on the floor, wants to save her as well, but he knows that Allen is what matters most right now.

 

Cross turns and heads back down the hall, ignoring Ivonne's screams to the best of his ability.

 

-

 

Lavi is lying atop Linalee's bed as she talks to him, as she tells him about where she went and how excited she was when she learned about Allen. Her words are falling on deaf ears though. The redhead is not paying her as much attention as he knows he should. He is replying to everything she has said, but only to a degree.

 

His mind is detached from his present situation at the moment and he can't figure out why. He knows that he is to leave tomorrow to head out and retrieve Allen but he feels like something is off…

 

…like there's something he is forgetting that is important…

 

The feeling isn't so much as forgetting but as ignoring something.

 

Lavi sits up on Linalee's bed as she pulls out a dress she bought while away. The material is thin, and seems to have an interesting shine too it. “That's silk isn't it?” The redhead finds himself asking though he already knows the answer.

 

“Yes, isn't it gorgeous though? Look at all the lace and the embroidery…” The female holds the dress up to her body, hugging it closely so that it resembles how it'll look when she wears it. “Oooh I hope Allen likes it!” Lavi feels like he should say something, like he should complement her but…

 

“Is it really that late?” Linalee is staring at the clock on her wall, amazed that it is almost eleven at night already. “I need to bring brother some coffee then…”

 

“It's okay I'll do it.” Lavi is standing before the female has time to object. “You just got back anyways, you should rest…” Linalee is about to say something but before the words leave her mouth the redhead is already out of her room.

 

It takes him only ten minutes to make the coffee, enough for everyone, and by the time he is walking down the hall to the science department he can't help but feel nervous. He doesn't understand the feeling either, he knows that bringing everyone coffee isn't anything important but…he's still nervous… Lavi tries not to analyze the emotion, tries not to completely disregard it either.

 

By the time he has reached the science department he has composed himself enough to act normal. The second he enters the room though he is swarmed around, the tray he is carrying emptied…except for one cup. The redhead looks down at the single cup and frowns lightly.

 

“Where's Komui?” He asks Reever as the older man is still standing next to him.

 

“He's probably asleep in his office, I don't think he's sleep in a few days. Linalee still resting?” The redhead nods his head and decides to make small talk with the older man before leaving…

 

“How's work been going?”

 

“We haven't had any all nighters in a long time, but I'm getting worried about Komui, he hasn't seemed himself in a while…” Lavi looks down at the cup of coffee and tries not to let sentence bug him. “You should go see if he's awake, he'll appreciate the coffee if he is…”

 

The younger male nods before leaving the room, not realizing that he is being watched the whole time.

 

-

 

The second Cross steps outside into the frozen night air everything seems to stop. The sounds that have been so loud and so apparent inside of the Circus are gone now, not even an echo in the air. Allen's breathing is starting to even out and the dazed look that he has been giving off is starting to fade.

 

“You okay?” The man asks after a second. The boy replies by gently shoving the man, trying to free himself from his grasp.

 

“Please, sir-Master!” He corrects himself, his hands grasping Cross' arms. He feels like his legs are going to give out underneath him. “Why, why do you want me, you never even used me!” The pleading note in Allen's voice is terrifying and heartbreaking all the same. It makes Cross wants to slap the boy till he returns to his senses but he also wants to hold him…

 

“Why…why did you do that…?” The man stands up straight and pulls a cigarette out of his pocket, lighting it quickly; he feels stressed and unsure of the moment.

 

“Because you don't belong there…” Allen's hands move to the redhead's chest, gripping the jacket tightly. He leans forward and buries his face in the dark cloth. Cross inhales off of his cigarette before looking down at the boy, at his shaking form.

 

“It's not something to cry over…” Cross half mutters, feeling the tremors coming from the boy's body. Allen shakes his head though and looks up at him, still trying to hold his tears in. “Why did you take me? Why did you want to buy me?!” The man just shakes his head, taking a drag off his cigarette before discarding it. He grasps Allen by the shoulders and pushes him back enough so that he can look at him properly.

 

“I told you, you don't belong there.” Allen nods his head quickly and Cross realizes that the boy is scared of him at the moment. “And I'm not going to hurt you, got that?” There is a mixture of emotions that run past Allen's eyes, making the man nervous.

 

“Now come on, I want to get out of this damned alley and back to the hotel.” He lets go of the boy's arms and turns around in time to see a few people pass by the entrance to the alley. For a moment neither of the two move as Cross lets another thought enter his mind.

 

He turns back around and stares at Allen…

 

…or rather at Allen's appearance…

 

The boy still looks the same as he had inside of the Circus.

 

“Shit…” Cross curses under his breath, knowing for a fact that he can't take the boy into public as is.

 

“…something…the matter…Master…?” The man let's out a sound of annoyance that causes Allen to look down automatically. He shakes his head a second before removing his large exorcist's jacket and draping it over the boy's body, the hood completely engulfing his head.

 

“Wear that so no one sees you…” Cross half demands as he begins to snap some of the clasps shut.

 

“Does…does Master not like my appearance…?” The man frowns hearing that and shakes his head.

 

“No it's that you look indecent, and I don't know how to put your kimono back on properly.” Allen nods his head, not understanding what about him is indecent. He does not ask though, does nothing more then stand there and wait for the man to finish.

 

-

 

Lavi slips into Komui's office silently.

 

He knows the man is asleep, only because he has not answered when he knocked. He doesn't know why he is still going into the room though, doesn't know why he feels like he is doing something wrong. The redhead shakes off the feeling as he shuts the door quietly, holding the tray under his arm and the cup of coffee in his left hand.

 

Lavi scans the room silently, searching for something though he isn't sure what. Komui is in plain view, his head lying on the desk, on a small stack of papers, his glasses still on his face. The redhead moves farther into the room before deciding that what he is doing is fine and there is nothing wrong with him delivering coffee.

 

He sets the cup down on the desk, leaning over some and waving his hand before the Asian man's face. When he is given no reply he leans forward a little more. Lavi can't help but stare at the man, can't help but wonder why he's worked himself into exhaustion again.

 

Allen's coming back, so the man should be happier, should be more energetic, should be like what he used to be…yet…he isn't, which worries the redhead. He's worried because that means there is something that Komui isn't telling him, something that has happened to his friend, or something that might happen.

 

Lavi scolds himself mentally for worrying again. He has promised himself the other day that he was going to think positively, that he was going to believe in Allen, and his own strength of mind…but…

 

There is that place in the back of his mind that is telling him something isn't right…

 

…and the sight of Komui passed out on his desk from over working himself tells him that the feeling is right.

 

The young man leans over the desk, bringing his head closer to the Asian man's. He's hoping that he can steal the others thoughts just by being near him…except…

 

…except he can't seem to concentrate at the moment…

 

Lavi frowns outwardly before setting the tray down. He reaches over and gently removes Komui's glasses. He stares at them, looking through the frames a moment before setting them down on the desk, next to the coffee cup. For a moment all he can hear is silence…silence and Komui's even breathing.

 

The sound of footsteps coming from the hall make the redhead jump and he pulls back, away from the desk. He isn't sure why he suddenly feels alarmed, or why his head is starting to hurt again. He picks the tray up and heads towards the door to the office, vaguely wishing that his headache would go away…he's been getting a lot of them lately…

 

Lavi steps out of the office and shuts the door as silently as when he entered. He looks up and down the hall, searching for the person who has jolted his senses, yet he sees no one. The sound of footsteps can still be heard so he waits a moment, to see if someone turns the corner. He's not surprised that he is right, not surprised to see a finder heading towards him.

 

“He's asleep.” The redhead tells the man when he's within normal speaking range.

 

“Asleep?” The finder stares at him a moment, a report in his hand. “I needed to turn this in.”

 

“I'll set it in there.” Lavi takes the file and waits for the man to turn the corner before slipping back into Komui's off. He sets the file down on the desk and leaves before his mind starts to wander again.

 

-

 

Cross stops walking at a street corner. He has lit another cigarette and is half waiting for Allen to catch up, half waiting for the chance to cross the street. He turns around and stares at the smaller form as it weaves past a few people before coming to a halt behind him. It's now that the red-haired man sees it, sees the single white flake slowly drift down from the sky.

 

It's starting to snow…

 

Cross curses himself lightly as he takes a step closer to Allen, placing his hand on the boy's face underneath the large black hood. He can feel it through his glove, how cold the boy's skin is.

 

“Why didn't you say you were cold?” The man asks, annoyed at himself as he stares down at the smaller male.

 

“I…only do as…Master wishes…” Allen breathes out, a slight puff of air visible for only a second.

 

“If you're cold or don't feel good, say so.” Cross frowns, scratching his head as he looks up at the clouded sky, at the small specks of white drifting down towards the Earth.

 

“Is…that an Order…Master?”

 

“Yes.” The man closes his eyes, hating himself for having to speak to Allen in such a way. He wants to hurry up, to make the boy return to normal, but he knows that it's not going to happen anytime soon…

 

“Then Master,” Cross looks down at Allen, a bit surprised to see the boy looking up at him, though he can't quite see his face underneath the hood. “I am cold…and I can't feel my feet…” The added part of the sentence catches the man off guard, causing him to look down at Allen's feet instantly…

 

…only to remember that the boy has no shoes on…

 

“Shit,” Cross frowns deeply seeing a shiver run through the smaller ones body. “Why didn't you say something sooner-wait don't answer.” The man shakes his head before taking a step closer to the boy. “We're almost to the hotel, I'll carry you.” Allen gave a small nod of the head before he felt his body being lifted.

 

For a moment the boy feels dizzy, lost in the feeling of warmth emitted from the older male's body, drunk off the scent of smoke and tobacco. He leans in closer to the man, grabbing on weakly to his shirt.

 

“Master…” Allen's voice is weak sounding and it worries Cross, worries him because he doesn't want the boy to fall ill, doesn't want to have to call the Order and tell them that he has the boy, but he might die from something as stupid as a fever.

 

“Please…take care of me…” Cross slows his steps and looks at Allen, at the hand that is clutching his shirt.

 

You really are an idiot to do this to yourself…

 

“Yeah, I will…” The boy leans against the man's chest and closes his eyes. He wants to fall asleep but every time he shuts his eyes he feels like he is falling again, like the arms that are holding him right now will vanish and he will be dropped. He is terrified of waking up in that small room again, of hearing that lock click open, of having to step back out into the hall…

 

Allen pulls his eyes open, panting. His head feels heavy and he feels like he's going to be sick. He pushes against the chest he is leaning against, pushes away from Cross till his feet hit the ground and he is standing…

 

…only his legs give way and he falls, crumpled to the ground, his body hidden underneath the all too large jacket.

 

“You have a fever, you need to get in bed.” Cross speaks in a firm voice, reaching down to pick Allen up. It is now that the boy realizes they are no longer outside, that his feet are not freezing as they touch the ground. The red-haired man takes hold of Allen's arms, lifting him up off the carpet.

 

“Wh-where are we…?” The smaller males voice is a little slurred, telling Cross that he is right to suspect that the boy had started to fall asleep in his arms.

 

“In the hotel room I've rented.” Allen stares at the cream colored carpet his is being lifted off of, his head feels heavy and he doesn't understand why. His stomach hurts, his body aches and he can't seem to think straight. He can feel the large hands that were on his arms lift him up again.

 

“You need to sleep.” Cross tries to steady the boy, but decides that carrying him would be best. He moves him across the brightly lit room and over to the large bed.

 

“You're sick, so you need to rest.” Allen reaches up and grabs hold of the man's shirt, trying to pull him down, to keep him there.

 

“I doan understand, Master…” Cross frowns lightly and adjusts Allen's place on the bed so that he can sit on the edge.

 

“It's okay, you'll understand soon enough…”

 

And all they can do is hope that he does

 

Hnnn…took a while to make this one, mainly because I've started working and that I need/am trying to reread Fixated, as I want to be able to create the 29th chapter of that properly… In any case I also started up a new fic, Perfect Weakness, that's AU for DGM, so read if you wish, and I plan to update that and this one, though the updates for both will be slow until I update Fixated, my main large baby that's over a year old…

 

Also I'd like to note that remember the time DGM is set in, yeah the early 1900's, fevers and colds were deadly then… And before any of you review me asking where Kanda is understand this: I like taking my time with stories and I like keeping characters and such in character as well as keeping a decent flow of time. Meaning if you think logically Kanda's not going to see Allen till he is back at the Order, so you still have a few chapters to go before you can start asking again. Next Chapter is: Hold me, Please

 

 

Au Revoir,

~Israfel~