D. N. Angel Fan Fiction ❯ The DARK in Me ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

 

Author's Notes: Written for Hota.

 

Enjoy!

 

 

The DARK in Me

 

He weeps, softly, beautiful, alone, and I am the cause of his sorrow. I am but a void in the depths of his mind, a hated nothing, and yet, I see him. I know his pain, the reason for his tears. He is always alone, always…aching.

 

Cry, Satoshi-sama. I will not go away.

 

I have existed for eternity. At least, so long it feels that way. It's an endless struggle, an infinite revolution of master and salve, command and obey. Secretly, I fear the world because whatever I touch shatters. A million pieces of irrelevance, and…

 

I'm running out of excuses for myself.

 

I watch the blue haired angel berate his own stupidity, his mistakes that are, in actuality, mine, and I do nothing to stop it. I can't. I don't want to. His pain feeds me, spurs me on. His suffering is erotic and lovely.

 

Satoshi-sama…

 

There are so many things I want to say, to explain, but I'm not able to. I fear you just as you fear me. You can feel, and all I can do is hurt.

 

We make such a lovely pair, don't we?

 

I don't deserve you, Satoshi-sama. I make you bleed, make you cry, make you bruise your almost non-existent love, your precious redhead. You hate him because I hate him. I hate him because I have no choice.

 

I crave his second soul to consume it, destroy it. I can't figure out why. The urge has always been there, swirling in my head, drowning rationality and urging disgust. Distant disgust. I can't recall meeting him face to face.

 

Him.

 

Dark.

 

The Dark of my soul, the axis of my world. I live and breathe Dark. Dark is always there, dangerous, cold…sexy.

 

He's cocky, sarcastic, and never surrenders. I want to make him submit to me.

 

I have no right to ask, Satoshi-sama. Begging would only make me a fool, weak and useless to you. Yet, for all I've done, I know nothing else. There is nothing else.

 

He feels my shift into his thoughts, and the bombardment of shy, scared emotions bite at me, stinging with the ferocity of a physical blow. It hurts, Satoshi-sama. So much.

 

I wish you knew.

 

“Krad.” He says my name without emotion, though it's lightly tinged with terror. His voice is microscopic, yet somehow strong, and I admire his courage.

 

I have no right to be a part of him. No right whatsoever.

 

I stay silent, still afraid, still unsure of what he'll do. He's strong but also more fragile than anyone could ever realize. I didn't want to break him, but…but I had to.

 

He is Hikari, and I am the Hikari prisoner, infinitely punished for a crime I cannot remember committing. I was sealed away, lost forever to time itself, but then so deeply drawn to this boy of the Hikari that I was unable to resist.

 

Hikari owns me, and thus, Satoshi-sama owns me, too.

 

I know he thinks differently, though. I command him, desperate to take Dark, and I allow him nothing. His freedom is invisible to his unraveled spirit.

 

I'm pain and remorse twisted deviously together, and Satoshi-sama is the catalyst of my anger, my resentment.

 

Dark…

 

“I d-don't want to talk about…” He fades away, mysteriously shaken by the solitary word. I'm curious as to why, but reaching into his mind answers the question with ease.

 

He misses the first Dark, his host, the redhead. He wants to see him, touch him, and look at him. He wants to be…

 

Away from me. Away from here.

 

Satoshi-sama…

 

I'm sorry.

 

The Dark in me hungers for this, for the seclusion. The Dark in me…

 

The Dark in me desires Dark, and I cannot allow it. He's the light of my soul, the answer to everything. It's wrong. I use you, Satoshi-sama. That, too, is wrong. I can't help it, though, can't ignore it. It's impossible.

 

I want answers. I want to know. I want…

 

I don't know what I want, but I never meant this agony, never meant to break you beyond repair.

 

When it's all over, even if you hate me, even if Dark is never mine, I will still belong to you, and though I don't meant it, I will hurt you, too.

 

Please forgive me.

 

~End~