Danny Phantom Fan Fiction ❯ Journal Entry ❯ Journal Entry: Danny II ( Chapter 4 )

Neither of us went home, only when the shuddering sounds of someone straining against the locked door woke us up did we realize we had slept the night away in the boiler room. We collected our stuff and scurried behind something to hide as the janitor came in. I grabbed Dash's hand and turned us invisible just in case, though he didn't know it.

When the coast was clear we dressed and made ourselves look reasonable presentable. Dash ran a hand through his disheveled hair, sweeping it back away from his eyes. I must admit the way it just stayed in place amazed me, still, I liked when it was messed up.

I don't know what I expected for the day, but I didn't expect Dash to fulfill his side of the deal so quickly. As soon as we were up top he wrapped an arm around my waist and steered me towards his friends who were just arriving for school. Needless to say I was shocked and a little embarrassed. He was holding me so intimately right in front of his friends.

So many things ran through my mind as we walked there, so many horrible scenarios. Was he going to tell them about us? Was this all some sick prank? I almost bolted when Dash removed his arm from my waist and wrapped it around my shoulder.

We stopped and stood just outside of their small cluster for a few moments, they hadn't even noticed us walking up, didn't see Dash with his hands on me. But slowly, they started to realize we were there. It was almost funny, one or two people suddenly glancing out of the corner of their eyes and seeing us, a few indicating us to someone next to them. It traveled like a rumor would; soon we had everyone's attention.

I felt like I was going to hyperventilate.

Dash just looked at them, his eyes narrowed, waiting for everyone to shut up so he could speak. It took another moment before all conversation stopped, everyone looked at us strangely, well they looked at Dash strangely, they looked at me like I was a bug to be squashed. I was fairly certain they didn't know about Dash trying to get with me. Not one of them looked smug, not even Kwan.

“Fenton's gonna hang with us from now on.” Dash stated simply.

I stood frozen in place, waiting for the onslaught of complaints and protests. There were a few who looked a bit put off, but no one openly objected to my presence. I was shocked.

Dash kept his arm around me for the remainder of the time we were there, chatting with his buddies like I wasn't there, like I was some new accessory. Then someone spoke my name. I looked up from my shoes to see a jock, the shortest guy in their group who always wore a jersey with a number on it, staring at me expectantly. I didn't know if he asked me a question or not, but I nodded. If I just made a fool of myself, oh well, nothing unusual.

A sinking feeling started inside me, like my organs were drooping down and would soon find themselves all at the very base of my gut. I sold myself for this chance and I might have just ruined it.

The jock smiled and punched me lightly in the shoulder, just below Dash's hand. Everyone started talking amiably; I could hear Paulina's high pitched voice describing her outfit and several other girls joined in all at once making it difficult to hear, I wondered what I'd just agreed to.

The bell rang and everyone walked off. That was it, no goodbyes, no hugs, not even eye contact. Everyone just went off in their own separate directions. I stood rooted to the ground, just watching them.

Sam and Tucker came into my vision; they stopped, frozen in a walking position. I tensed up, wondering how I looked to them, standing where the popular crowd tended to congregate with Dash's arm around me. Sam's face darkened somewhat but she still smiled and waved with Tucker, slowly trying to make their way to me in the throng of students heading to their first period.

 

They never reached me, because Dash's arm across my shoulder started to steer me towards our own first period class.

I glanced back at my friends, once again standing in the hallway. They just watched me, confused. I felt numb. I didn't want to face Sam right now, it hurt. Deep in my gut, it hurt to see her, only this time the hurt didn't come with anger, instead it brought a depressing sort of weight down around me.

I was a whore, plain and simple, but that didn't bother me too terribly. It was that realization, the fact that I was so…calm about all this that made me feel uneasy, and here I thought I had morals. Whatever happened to abstinence? We didn't even use any protection, he could have given me something, I needed to make an appointment after school.

I was glad, for the first time in as far back as I could remember, that Dash and I shared several periods in school. I think he was all that really kept me standing as everything that happened, everything I did, started to settle in. So many worries, so many things running around in my head, I didn't pay any attention at all through first period, or second, or third. I just walked in a trace, thinking back on everything.

When lunch rolled around I immediately took my place beside Dash, tray in hand, as he chatted with his friends while walking to their table. He looked a little startled to see me there, and I was surprised too, but I didn't want to face Sam and Tucker yet, not yet. I tell them almost everything, how could I keep from blurting this out?

Dash sat me right beside him, in perfect view of Sam and Tucker and their strange, hurt glares. I felt a bit ashamed, but I sold everything for this chance and I wasn't going to pass it up because they couldn't handle a single lunch period without my company.

The table was crowded, not at all like it was back in freshman year when there was only the small top dog group. Now every inch of the table was occupied by someone, so I was pushed up close to Dash, a very awkward position for both of us though nobody else saw anything unusual about it. Guess that's what happens when you're fucking someone in secrecy. I made a mental note of it.

Speaking of fucking, we had our next round during lunch. I wanted to talk to Dash alone, talk to him about rules and such; I wanted to know just where I stood in this relationship.

It was in the auditorium, as cliché as that was, at least it wasn't the boys bathroom or worse, the roof. We were sitting in some chairs off to the side of the stage where they kept some props, discussing what he wanted out of this relationship, and what say I had in it all.

It came out a bit more organized that I thought, rules, restrictions, secrecy. He explained the school's whole underground world to me, all the way down to the drugs they used, which he tried to name but after several verbal revisions just swore and gave up. I laughed, I never laughed with Dash, not really, but I did then. He looked pissed a moment, and a bit of my self-consciousness seeped back into my brain, but I shook it off. I had no room for embarrassment in my life then, not when I was with him.

As far as I could tell if I didn't do exactly what he wanted me to I was out on my ass, back where I started from and this time with one less friend. No way could I ever speak to Sam again, ever. I realized at that moment she and I were over, in every way possible.

I looked at Dash, sitting opposite me with a bit of an irate pout on his face; he looked like he always did, absolutely stupid. Big dumb jock with nothing but fighting and fucking on his mind, but I expected that from him. This was a relationship I could count on. As hard as it was to believe, Dash was stable. He could never surprise me, not after I knew this side of him.

But I knew very well that if I wanted to stay in the game I had to somehow keep his interest, and I didn't really think I could manage that with the limitations he set. And I told him as much, while climbing into his lap of course, each word spoke against his lips. Just because I was a beginner at this didn't mean I was incompetent, I do have porn after all. Direct TV kicks ass. Just think, less than twenty four hours before this I was a virgin, who'd have guessed then that I'd be ridding the star quarterback on stage in the auditorium.

Teen pornography stage right.

While we're on the subject of sex I'd like to mention one of my own conditions in this relationship before you get the wrong idea, not like any part of this narrative contains a “right” idea. Earlier that day, right before lunch actually since that period happened to be Dash-free time, I had stopped by the health office, beat red I'd like to mention, to get some necessities. The smile on the nurse's face was all knowing, like she figured I wasn't asking for myself, because what boy would go to the health office and not to his dad?

Either that or my face just read “bitch” to some people.

Dash looked like he'd protest when I told him about it, but dug his hand into my back pocket to retrieve the item anyway. Guess he figured it was the only way he'd get any, and surprisingly that was good leverage. I figured it was proof I did have some power in this relationship, at least until Dash realizes how much I sacrificed for this chance at the top.

If he figured out how much I wanted that, would he try and threaten it?

I hoped not.

We didn't even bother to undress, as sloppy and degrading as I always thought such a tryst would be Dash wasn't in the mood for waiting. I don't recall him ever really taking his time, except maybe in my parent's lab or once before the big game, but I'll get to that later, even those times he was a bit frenzied and rushed.

Sometime between bunching my pants mid thigh and getting the condom on him the chair we were sitting in fell back and we ended up on the floor, him inside me, proof that you could in fact fall and wind up having sex. Not really, but when I whispered it to him he laughed, sending odd sensations through me.

He seemed just content to lay there a while; even though my legs were pined under his back and I know it must have been an uncomfortable position for him, as I did have my shoes on, but he didn't move, didn't let me move. It was strange, but I didn't feel like moving just yet either. Being joined like that felt…different but good, like I was whole.

My legs were starting to go numb though, and lunch would be over soon. Really I was perfectly fine with not doing it, no difference to me, but if we were gonna fuck, might as well get it over with before my legs needed to be amputated.

Dash sucked in a breath through his teeth when I started adjusting our positions, pulling my legs out from under him so he could lay back on the stage. Once I was finished maneuvering I settled back down, but my moving around had interrupted the calm of it all and Dash was looking up at me with that same heated gaze that said he couldn't wait.

I didn't realize it then, but that would be the nature of our relationship. There would never be a slow for us, just still contentment and turbulent lust.

It didn't hurt this time, at least not as much as it did the first time, though I still didn't get much pleasure from it. I never really got a great deal of pleasure from any of our times together in the very beginning. Dash wasn't really that great with sex, I know many people would like to say otherwise, but I'm speaking from experience. He pretty much sucked.

In fact it was only a few weeks into our relationship that he ever even made me hard. Getting back to that hanging topic of us in my parent's lab, it was the day I got my test results back. I was anxious, because I didn't know what it would say, and because if I turned out to be positive…if Dash had given me anything…I just didn't know.

Dash was there with me when I read it. We were sitting in my basement on a counter cluttered with various mad scientist junk that would make any sane person worry for their humanity and where we kept the dissecting equipment.

He wanted me to wear a costume, and in the back of my mind I could just picture some creepy girly outfit like what the Box Ghost threw me into some years ago, and the Little Bo Peep getup he had me wear junior year in the school talent show in order to avoid daily beatings for the rest of the semester.

Physical pain or public humiliation….take your pick.

I was too distracted by the papers in my hand to really care, so I agreed. We were in the privacy of my own house anyway right?

Much to my relief everything came back negative, suddenly life didn't seem so worthless and the boner poking me in the rear wasn't so easily ignored. I was sitting in his lap after all, but I could tell Dash was relieved as well. He was the only person I'd ever been with so it was obvious what it all meant.

I didn't really care about the costume, and really I would rather not wear something silly to help get him off, but I was in such a good mood I didn't mind anymore. Shifting in his lap I pulled him into a fierce kiss. I'll say this, for however horrible and rushed and sloppy he was in bed he sure as hell was a good kisser.

The costume happened to be my custom made hazmat suit. Figures he'd want to see me in something akin to a skin tight jumpsuit. It was dark blue, but not so close to black that anyone might make a connection between me and Danny Phantom. My boots were a hard black rubber and he slid his hand up my inner thigh while putting them on me. I didn't know why he was going through all the trouble to completely undress and then dress me; there was no way we could fuck when I was in this outfit, the zipper ended at my navel.

But something in my gut started to tighten, they way he looked at me, the way he kept touching me, the way he drug it out without going slow at all. It stirred something inside me. Something I'd only rarely felt while making out with Sam. But I didn't recognize it just yet, I was to preoccupied with helping Dash zip up the suit without hurting himself, as he only barely managed to keep his tongue ahead of the fast moving zipper. Not that I was complaining.

Dash never gave this kind of attention to me, quick fucks and heated kisses were more his thing. Other than the occasional arm around me he didn't really touch me outside our screw sessions. This was all so unexpected, so thrilling.

After I was all dressed up, belt and all, he stood back and just stared at me.

Did he really think my ghost hunting outfit was sexy enough to be considered a “costume?” It made me blush, thinking of all the times I'd been fighting where he could see me with my parents. What had he been thinking then?

I could see by the look in his eyes he liked it, liked my outfit, and liked me in it. Without warning he pulled me into his arms, crushing his mouth to mine. I let him dominate this kiss, like I did sometimes. He was a fairly good kisser after all.

We were pressed against each other, his erection digging into my hip much like it had in the shower so long ago, or what felt like so long ago, but I noticed something as well. I was getting a little…turned on by this.

It scared me, but it felt good. That was the first time anything we did ever really felt good to me, sure sometimes I'd like the feeling inside me, the feeling of completeness, but I was never “hot.” Not like this anyway, not this crushing tightness in my gut or the blood pounding in my ears. I'd never felt the need to be so close to him, rubbing against him as we kissed. I'd never actually wanted him to be inside me. I'd always been just a little indifferent to the whole thing.

Then… at that time…I don't think I could stop if the world came crashing down.

Luckily the world didn't come crashing down, but something in the kitchen did, and my mom swore.

I'd forgotten they were up there for a moment, no wonder Dash was trying to keep me so silent, shushing me throughout everything. I was startled; I broke apart from Dash so fast I'm surprised I didn't rip one of our tongues out.

I was scared, dead scared. I stood there, shaking and staring up at the entrance to the lab, willing my parents to appear, wishing they wouldn't. I just didn't want to be there, alone with Dash.

Shakily I walked towards the door, I heard Dash call my name, saying something but the blood was pounding in my ears so hard I couldn't make it out. I jogged up the stairs, not even acknowledging my mom and dad looking guilty and flushed when I came into the kitchen, the fruit bowl that had always sat on the kitchen table was on the floor.

I marched up to my room and locked myself inside, willing the ache in my groin to go away. I didn't want to believe I'd actually started to enjoy all this.

I just kept mumbling to myself as I slid down to the floor.

I wasn't gay.

I wasn't.

 

*~*

Solitary line of dialogue inserted for Tesgura's pleasure. *nods*

 

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