Death Note Fan Fiction / Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Revelation ❯ 'What have I done!?' ( Chapter 1 )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Death Note. I don't know who does, but it's not me, and Takada really wants me to die. She hates when I write stories about Misa Amane and Light.

 

Light had no idea how the fight even started. For the longest time, he thought he had Misa wrapped around his finger. Anything he had ever asked, she would do. Be it to murder someone, or to quit a job she actually wanted, she'd do it without question and with nothing but love and admiration. And normally for nothing as well. But this time, it was different. It was beyond different. This time, the boisterous and possessive Misa exploded on him, like a volcano building over the course of centuries. She ranted, she raved, and she screamed at him before finally leaving in a storm of utter revulsion and anger, slamming the door and not caring if he locked her out. She had left without her purse, or her phone. If anything had happened to her, Light would never know. And damn it all, he worried about her. For once in his life, he found himself worrying sick over the woman he had cared nothing of, not so long ago.

 

Now, Light sat in a chair in their living room. Was it still theirs? Misa left and said she'd never be back. But he knew she would. Someday. But would it be soon? He had no idea. He shivered. It had all happened too fast. He had come home from a meeting with Takada, another woman he was using for his goals, but one he could almost say he loved. And why not? She was intellectual, refined, elegant, on his level. All of the things Misa certainly wasn't. The reason was because Misa was still in his life. And when he came back to his life with her, it crashed apart that fateful night. She had stood in the doorway, waiting. And not in her usual loving way. She stood, foot tapping, hands on hips, glaring at him as he walked in, a grin on his face. Oh how quickly her look had wiped that grin from existence.

 

'Where have you been, Light!?' her voice echoed in his head as his thoughts whirled, 'You were with her again, weren't you!?' His breathing became ragged. She had sounded so bitter, so angry. He pushed her devotion too far, and he knew it. He'd been skating on thin ice already, what with Yuri and Mayu so long ago. But Takada broke that ice like a chipper. And he fell right in.

 

'Why, Light!? Why her!? I've done everything you ever asked, and I loved you!' she had screamed, tears falling as he walked past her just hours before, 'Wasn't that enough!? Misa said she'd stand by you forever! Misa loves you! But you cheated on me! Again!' That had made Light stop in his tracks, eyes wide. Again. Misa had known all along. She was letting it build, probably to have the strength to confront him about it. He had turned, tried to explain it. Even tried to be loving. But she laughed. It had sounded so mocking to him. It hurt him.

 

'You did it for me. I'm not stupid, Light! You did it because you used me!' she accused, and her look was of such hatred that Light froze in place, unable to deny or confirm the words of truth, 'Guess what? I hate being used by you now! I hate waiting for you to come home, when it's nearly three in the morning! I hate doing everything, and being ignored! I hate that you're dating her! I hate her! I hate you!' Light had heard the sobs. She was just about ready to break. But when he went to try and console her, she shoved him away. And he lost his temper. He yelled back, telling her she had no right to feel that way, that he had told her this was how it'd be.

 

'Misa needs to be loved!' she had declared. And that was the breaking point for Light. He had upturned the table, and thrown a chair at her direction. She was smart enough to duck, but the chair shattered. And she ran out screaming. Screaming and crying at the same time, slamming the door and leaving him to his thoughts. He regrets. Light regretted what he said, what he'd done to her all these years. And as he sat in that chair, he realized she had meant much more than Takada ever would. Sure, she wasn't as smart. But she was more loving, and she never once tried to be smug with him. She accepted him, and genuinely fell in love, so many years ago. She shortened her own life, for God's sake.

 

"What the hell have I done?" he asked himself, holding his throbbing head in his hands. As expected, he had no reply. All that broke the silence was the ticking of the clock on the wall. He looked up at it. It was a black kitty clock; Misa had bought it when they first moved in together. He looked away quickly. Everywhere he went in this godforsaken house, there was a reminder of her. He had to get out. But where would he go? He didn't know where Mikami Teru lived, nor did he feel safe heading back to headquarters and telling everyone what had happened. And if he went to his parents, Sayu would go ballistic for what he did to Misa. And Takada? She was certainly out of the question. He had nowhere to turn. Nowhere but outward, into the cold night. Where Misa had run off without promise of return.

 

"I can't run. Not like this," he said to himself, wiping the tears that managed to come, "No. I need to just think for a while." He stood up and grabbed his coat. He wasn't sure where he'd be going, but he had to walk. He had to do something out of this house, or he'd break apart. For once in his life, he was falling apart because of a woman. Of Misa Amane, no less. More a child than a woman, really. But that didn't matter. As he opened the door, Light said, "Ryuk, I'm leaving!" He didn't even wait for the sarcastic reply before slamming the door himself.

 

The road was dark and silent as Light stepped from the complex onto the street. It was nearly one in the morning now. Misa had never stayed out this late before. Light shivered; what if something happened to her? Damn it, no! He didn't want to think about her. Not right then. He took a deep breath, and stuffing his hands in his pockets, he began walking down the cold, black road. Time itself felt warped to him, as though the world suddenly just stopped living, as if Misa destroyed the fabrics of existence with her disappearance. No cars were out, and only the streetlights seemed to flicker in the thickening gloom. It all felt so unreal. Light shook his head. It was just too dark. It did nothing to help him forget about Misa. His brows creased.

 

"She was just supposed to be a pawn," he growled, passing an intersection and heading toward a slightly busier part of the city, "I was going to kill her when this was said and done." Except that, right then, Light knew he wouldn't. He couldn't, not to someone who had been so loyal to him. He had made promises to her. He hadn't honored any of them except to further his own goals. As he passed an electronics store, he stopped and stared at his reflection through the glass. He looked hideous in his mixture of anger and terror. He also saw Misa there, crying and yelling at him silently in the reflection. He turned to his left, where she should have been. She wasn't there. His lips thinned.

 

"Guilt," he said, and continued along, "I feel guilty now. Because I know this was wrong. Damn it all, I was wrong!" He stopped again, fists clenched. He hated being wrong, feeling this way. When Misa slammed the door, he told himself he hadn't done a thing wrong, that this was what he wanted. To be rid of her. But then why was he feeling guilty now? He sighed. The hole she left was much deeper than he ever thought it could be. He turned. Misa's reflection was still in that damned window, still yelling, still crying. He shook his head. He didn't come out here to be reminded of her. He wanted to run.

 

But again, there was no place to run to. All he had left were those faint shards of her. Light slowly closed his eyes. In the darkness, he saw Misa, flashes of memories of them. Meeting her on the campus, with L beside him. Seeing her tied up like a criminal when she had been arrested. Living with both her and L, moving in with her, going to the beach with her, all of these terrible, horrible memories. They were like watching glass shatter and fall in slow motion. It was painful, and the sound was crisp and clear. Light's eyes flew open. And he looked up into the sky. It was black now, with only a sliver of silver to represent the moon.

 

"So many... memories that I never thought were important," he said to himself slowly, but not unkindly, "Damn it, Misa." Then, he lowered his head as he heard a commotion going on somewhere in the distance. He looked on ahead. There was a crowd of people outside of a building. What building it had been, he didn't particularly care. But what the hell? He had no obligations to return home. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he stalked over to see what occurred. As he came near, the crowd was buzzing with the humdrum he usually heard outside of either Sakura TV or the HNH building. He tried to ignore it, but some of the comments reached his ears as he went by.

 

"Did you hear!? She's continuing her support of Kira!"

 

"Such a brave woman, and so beautiful, too!"

 

"Oh, who cares!? I saw a commercial for Misa Misa's new movie, and she's much cuter than Takada!" Light stopped in his tracks again, the sound of Misa's name reaching him loud and clear. He looked toward where the voices sounded. It was coming from three young men. They seemed moderately excited, and it was only from Light's worry for Misa that he even bothered to talk to them. He walked up and tapped the first man on the shoulder.

 

"Did you... say you saw Misa Amane?" he asked, his voice sounding hoarse from his self-loathing. The man turned, looking him up and down. Light realized that he might've looked a bit bedraggled from his sparse moment of horror, but the man seemed to just shrug it off and nod. Though Light did notice he was being watched carefully. It sent a shiver up his spine.

 

"Yeah, saw her at the studio about two days ago," the man replied, and Light felt his spirit crash. That wouldn't help him find Misa; he doubted she'd have a reason to go to the studio this late at night. Knowing he had no other reason to talk to the men, he bid them farewell and walked up the steps onto the courtyard where the crowd was thickest. Maybe, just maybe the commotion was about Misa. She had been talking about some new movie for a while, and Light suddenly wished he remembered what it was about. Anything would've helped right now.

 

The crowds were buzzing and moving, all of them pushing to get closer to whatever the source and cause of the widespread frenzy was, and it took Light the better part of twenty minutes to move about thirty feet. But he finally began to see that there were cameras set up, and that there were security guards posted periodically. That somehow sent his hopes up; Misa did have security with her. He pushed his way toward the front, sometimes stepping on people to make them move, other times considering writing their names on the pieces of the Death note he kept hidden on him. But finally, after the slow drawl of what seemed like an eternity, he reached the front and saw what was going on. And his spirits crashed. It wasn't Misa, and for a minute he felt stupid for hoping it would be. Instead, it was Takada. She was making a special bulletin on a new 'message' she received from Kira. Light frowned and looked up at her. She looked good in the limelight. But she wasn't what he wanted to see.

 

"This, my loyal viewers, is urgent news. I have received..." Takada had seen Light and snuck him a quick glance, "...a message that states that as long as you continue to do what is righteous, Kira will not harm you..." Light saw the smug knowing in Takada's eyes, and didn't pay much attention to the rest of her announcement. He suddenly wanted to just go back home and wait for Misa to return. Except he knew damn well she wouldn't come back. Takada was what drove her off. In the throng of activity, he had to wait for the crowd to thin before making his way back from the courtyard, onto the quiet street where the pedestrians began to make their ways home. He watched them listlessly.

 

"It's getting so late... where the hell could she have gone?" Light asked himself, glancing at his watch. It was getting close to one thirty, a time even he wasn't used to staying up until. And as he started walking back, the streetlights becoming fewer as he went, he realized something may have very well happened to Misa. It wouldn't have been the first time. Even he felt a shudder as he walked down the dark alley. He quickly glanced around; no one was following him, as far as he could see. But when he walked forward, he heard a woman's voice.

 

"And where is Misa Amane?" It was Takada again, "I'd have thought she'd be tugging on your arm, as usual." Light winced. Normally, he'd have ignored the malice and venom in Takada's voice, but in his dire worry, it was like a slap in the face. He resisted the urge to growl at her. It really wasn't her fault; he was the one who started their relationship. But she could've helped by being less smug toward Misa. He took a breath, and forced a gentle smile. He doubted Takada bought it.

 

"Misa isn't with me," he stated, trying to keep the quiver from his tone, "We had a disagreement." He didn't want to say they had a drag-out fight, because he knew it'd give Takada an opening to bash Misa. He wasn't in the mood for that, not that night. But Takada wasn't an idiot. She gave a knowing grin. In the dark, it looked like a sneer.

 

"You both fought," she concluded, and Light had to fight to keep himself from wincing, "How unfortunate. Was she immature enough to actually lock you out?"

 

"She left," Light said quietly, pointedly, and turned, "I'm going back home to wait for her." He began walking away. Normally, he knew he'd have gone off with Takada, but tonight, he found he didn't want to see her at all, and in his sudden distaste, found he might not even want to see her ever. There was something new to her, something he turned himself off to when he had Misa. Something he didn't like. Her tone, that look in her eyes. She was confident Light was hers now. He had every intention of dousing that fire before it devoured them both.

 

"She won't come back," Takada called after him, "And you know it." Light stopped, and he was glad she hadn't followed. He visibly shook know. Takada was probably right, but he couldn't just do nothing. Misa might have been older, but she was still very much a child. She had to be taken care of, and at this hour, who knew where she was. He took another breath; it felt ragged. Takada was knocking the wind out of him.

 

"Then I'll look for her," he replied, his voice sounding a tad more hostile than he meant. He started off again, but this time he heard Takada's heels clacking behind him. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore her. But no sooner had he turned a corner, that he felt her nails against his arm, stopping him. He glared at her now. She was quickly going from vague annoyance to asking for a slap on the face.

 

"Let me help you," she offered without much sincerity, "We'll split up." Light didn't trust that. He knew Takada had the Death Note, and he know that she and Misa hated each other. If she managed to find Misa, there was a good chance the tabloid would report Misa as dead by morning. He shook his head, looking for a polite way to refuse. Unfortunately, with someone like Takada, there just wasn't one.

 

"No, it's best if I go alone," he said, and added, "You should go home and be safe." Takada's eyes lit up, and she let go of his arm.

 

"Light, how considerate of you!" she exclaimed, and smiled, "Yes, I'll go now. Good luck finding her, and I'll see you tomorrow night." As she ran back toward the busier part of the city, Light just snorted and shook his head. As if he had any thoughts of seeing her, after his fight with Misa. He shrugged it off; he'd find a way to deal with it later. Right now, he had to focus on finding Misa.

 

Unfortunately, fate didn't like Light that night. He walked about ten paces before he heard rustling to his left, and he quickly turned. Even in a quiet neighborhood, he didn't trust that thieves weren't about, and he wished he'd grabbed a knife from the kitchen before heading out. But there was nothing there... at first. Then he saw movement, and two figures came out from behind a telephone pole. One had a dark, leather coat on, his hood drawn up in the night to conceal his face. The other didn't wear a coat, but had a ridiculously big pair of goggles on his face and a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. Both looked like they had overheard everything Light and Takada had said. Light trusted neither of them.

 

"We heard Misa Amane's missing," the leather-coated one said with a grin that looked feral in the wan light, "That's not going to sit so well with Near, will it, Matt?" Matt, the man with the goggles, looked at him and nodded, though he seemed almost uninterested in the conversation, or being there in general.

 

"Nah. He might even make an arrest," Matt replied, "So, what happened? Everyone who's anyone knows Misa Amane's with you, and she's totally insane over you. Not that I'm jealous or anything, but what the hell did you do to piss her off?" Light blinked, unable to figure out how to respond. It wasn't that he did anything at all; it was what he didn't do that drove her off. His lips thinned and he turned. Damn it all, he just wanted to be left alone.

 

"Nothing. Go away," he grumbled, and began again. Mello could only grin further, and took something out of his pocket. He whistled loudly, and Light stopped again, turning his head ever so much. And unconsciously, he raised his hands to catch what it was Mello just threw at him; it was a picture. Misa was on a train, crying. Light looked at it, and his mouth dropped. Misa was crying! Misa was... crying? He looked up at Mello. Somehow, the smugness seemed to vanish. Quietly, Light asked, "Where did you get this?"

 

"I took it on the train to Aoyama," was the equally quiet reply, "I've never seen anyone so upset. I followed her for a while to make sure she's okay. Normally, I'd have kidnapped her under suspicion... but I couldn't help but wonder. What made you so angry that you'd hurt her so much? She kept wailing about Light Yagami." There was something in Mello's voice that said he had a good guess as to what happened, but Light said nothing. Why should he confide in Mello, anyway? This was the man who killed his father and traumatized his sister. But he knew where Misa was and what happened to her. Mello's mouth twitched as he said, "Why don't you tell me what happened."

 

"Tell me where she is and what you've done to her, you bastard!" Light suddenly accused, running up and grabbing Mello by the collar, "I'm not blind. I know who you are. Where is she!? Is that how you got the picture? Kidnapping her!?" Mello's smile disappeared and he gripped Light's hands to try and hold the man off. His eyes gleamed angrily, realizing that Light would throttle him if he didn't speak quickly.

 

"Kidnap her? Come on, what would I get from kidnapping her when she's like that?" he spat back, eyes narrowing, "You've got me wrong, you idiot. You might be the second L, but that doesn't mean I want to kill you yet. You're already suspected; I just want to know what happened to put you into an eight-mile grave." Light let go of him, and they both staggered back quickly. For a moment, they stared at each other, both distrusting the other. But that soon vanished. Light realized Mello had a point. Misa no longer owned the notebook; she'd tell Mello nothing even if they had gotten to her. Light looked down.

 

"We got into... a fight," Light said simply, though he wasn't about to tell Mello Misa wasn't coming back. But by the look on Mello's face, he seemed to have guessed that fact. For a moment, nothing more was said as the two stood there, facing each other. Matt silently counted the seconds away, listening as only the wind rustled the leaves around them, as only the streetlight seemed to flicker, sending the shadows scattering. The silence seemed to last forever. Finally, Mello spoke again.

 

"Before I tell you where I saw your girlfriend, why don't you tell me what actually happened," the blonde offered earnestly, "Maybe Matt and I can help." Light's brow rose cautiously. That was an offer he didn't trust.

 

"Why... would you want to help me?" he asked slowly, "You kidnapped my sister and killed my father. Why the hell would you help me find Misa?"

 

"I didn't mean for any of that to happen, up until I saw your sister would be okay. I swear that much," Mello replied quietly, looking away, "I know what it's like to lose someone you love. And I know that whatever happened really hurt her. I'm... intrigued." Light's brow furrowed. Intrigued. That was basically like saying he was stalking them. But he did have a point. What happened had hurt Misa. Light's lips thinned as he considered Mello's offer. For once, maybe having the hitman on his side wouldn't be that bad. He side-glanced at Mello.

 

"You'll honestly tell me where Misa is?" he asked quietly, after another moment of thought. Mello nodded.

 

"If you don't find her, then you can shoot me," the blonde replied. That was it, then. Light knew he could trust Mello with this. He looked around to see if anyone, especially Takada, had come around to listen in. There was no one there. Light walked down the road a few steps, out onto a quiet intersection, and looked around again. Once again, there was no one in sight. He turned back and saw Mello waiting patiently, Matt wondering what they were even doing. He beckoned them forward.

 

"This way. I'll explain when we're somewhere safer," he said. Mello asked no further questions.

 

By the time they'd reached Light's place, it was after two. Light felt himself getting tired, knowing he'd have to head to work in just a few short hours. He had never stayed up so late before; Misa would insist on being in bed by one. He found he suddenly appreciated her need for a curfew as he sat in his living room, Mello and Matt sitting across from him in the dim candlelight. With worshippers of Kira surrounding the city, and with everyone looking for Mello, Light had to be very careful in case someone listened in and heard them. He took several deep breaths to calm himself. For all he knew, Mello was lying and Misa might be dead. It was just too damn late to deal with this. Mello tapped the arms of his chairs, watching with slight amusement.

 

"Well?" he asked after what felt like minutes. Light sighed.

 

"All right... I'm not... faithful to Misa," Light began, and saw Matt tense up a bit, "In fact, I've been seeing another woman..."

 

"Kiyomi Takada," Mello finished for him, but somehow, he didn't seem too thrilled to be right, "She's not keeping that a secret." Light scowled. He didn't think Takada would, especially if she knew it'd reach Misa's ears.

 

"Right. Takada. Anyway, this has been going on for a while, and I didn't think Misa knew of it," Light continued, this time his voice growing quieter, his tone getting gentler, "But tonight... I came home and she flew into a rage. She started screaming... damn it, I snapped and nearly killed her. I swear, I didn't mean to... I just..." Mello and Matt exchanged glances. This wasn't what they expected the second L to act like, but somehow, they couldn't help but sympathize. Or perhaps just feel sorry for him. Mello spoke again.

 

"What made you use her like that?" he asked, his voice unusually gentle. Light broke out of his self-pity for a moment and stared at Mello blankly. That was quite a way of putting it, but it was the truth. And it was a question he couldn't answer. For how could he explain to this man that he was Kira? That she was the Second Kira? How could he explain the web he so carefully weaved to avoid detection without destroying himself? He couldn't. He looked away. He didn't have to. There were other reasons he ignored Misa, reasons he thought had been warranted at the time.

 

"She is... a child at heart," Light finally said, "She is immature and boisterous, and she never thinks before she acts. I just... wanted someone more my level." God, those reasons sounded so ridiculous now. Who was more Kira's level? Light knew Mello wasn't buying any of that, but the man didn't say anything about it. Matt finally spoke now, and he did so through a puff of his cigarette.

 

"But why Takada?" he asked, and Mello stared at him, "I mean, come on, dude. The woman's a grade-A bitch. I tried throwing my cell phone number at her and she spat on it. Most girls would die to have a handsome guy like me grace them." Mello's look went flat. He resisted the urge to tell Matt that most of those girls were looking at him, and not at the red-headed hacker. Instead, he turned to Light again.

 

"You've got a problem, my friend," the blonde said simply, calmly, "I heard everything that bi... I mean, Takada said. I'm sure she's taking advantage of the fact that Misa's gone." Light looked away again. If only Mello knew how right he might have been. But being right wouldn't help the situation. And Mello knew this. He said, "I might be able to help you." Light's eyes narrowed. Again with that offer. He would've done anything to know Misa was all right, but to trust this man... no, it was out of the question. Mello had other motives to help him, and Light couldn't risk that. He shook his head. If he were going to find Misa, he'd have to do it alone. She might not let Mello near her, or anyone else. Not in that state.

 

"I need to do this alone," Light told him firmly, and struggled to get the next few words out, "Thank you for what you've told me." Mello didn't take the half-hearted gratitude. He perked a somewhat interested, mildly insulted brow, taking out a small chocolate bar to nip the corner off. All that was heard in the next moment was a crunch as he bit into the bar. Light watched him warily; he made no move to leave despite the clear dismissal. When he finished his candy, he put the bar away.

 

"You sure you don't need help?" he asked Light with a finality that said he would be leaving fairly soon. Light didn't respond except to deepen his frown. Mello just shrugged, turning to Matt as he said, "Let's go, my friend. We're wasting time here." Light growled lowly, knowing what Mello was actually saying. They'd become enemies again in that moment, and it took Mello slamming the door for Light to realize the man was gone now. And he also realized that Mello hadn't told him how to find Misa. Damn it! Light realized he made a mistake. Quickly, he rushed out the door and shouted for Mello. The blonde stopped abruptly; everyone knew his name, and he looked up and hissed, "Don't yell, you idiot! What is it!?" Light took a deep breath, and with every ounce of pleading he could, he asked his question.

 

"Where did you say Misa was?"

 

It was three by the time Light was on the train to Aoyama, the exact train Mello had taken earlier. Mello had been annoyed with the last-minute request, but the man kept his word. He told Light everything he needed to know. What train they were on, where they were going, and what neighborhood Mello had left Misa in. It was all very useful. But there was one problem Light hadn't brought up: Misa could have left the neighborhood. Then it'd have been impossible to find her. He found his heart pounding as he thought that. Misa had to be fine. Takada wasn't even in Aoyama, and it was a relatively safe place. Nothing would happen.

 

And yet, as Light looked out the window and watched the scene fly by, he couldn't help but worry about it all. Mello wasn't lying, he was sure of that, but what if Misa wasn't there? What could he do then? Ryuk wouldn't be able to find her, and Rem was dead. No one except for Mello would have the slightest clue, and Mello had made it painfully clear that he wouldn't help Light after this. Light just sighed, shaking his head. Dawn was coming soon, in the far off horizon. In a few hours, just four, he'd have to return and go to work. His search would end prematurely; it'd only look suspicious if he told anyone Misa ran away. No! He slammed his fists on the arms of his seat angrily. This wasn't about Kira! This was about Misa, and about finding her! To hell if it looked suspicious. If he didn't find her, he might as well be caught anyway. He forced himself to stare out the window again. The train was beginning to slow.

 

"...Misa..." he whispered, but said nothing else as the train finally came to a complete stop. He stood, looking around. As he had entered, the train was empty. No one had come on at all during his trip, and he knew it was too late for passengers to board, too. Taking a breath, he left the train. And behind him, two shadows left with him.

 

Aoyama was empty as Light walked down the main road. Not to his surprise, none of the shops were open. No one was about. The place was like a ghost town, in an eternal night that Light was worried would never break. He looked on both sides as he kept walking, looking for any sign that Misa had been down this way. Mello had said he had left her at one of the clubs on this road. But what club? Misa didn't even like clubs, so why would she even head to one? Then it hit him. She wasn't at any club. She was at the Blue Note. That was the only club here she even knew off. Light blinked, taking it all in. Misa had run to the one place they had first met. Light shook his head, almost unable to believe it. His first reaction was to think she was stupid. But now... oh, he couldn't wait. He had to find her! He rushed down the road toward the cafe.

 

And was disappointed. There was no one standing there, no one outside the cafe at all. Light stopped at the front doors and looked around. This was the right place; the sign said 'Blue Note' on it in neon letters. But nothing was there. Not even the tables were set up. The lights inside were off, and the doors were locked. Light's fists clenched. Mello had lied, after all. Misa wasn't here. For a long moment, Light stood there, staring in the windows. Had she gone inside? No... there was no sign of life inside. But surely, there had to be clues. Misa always left clues, even when she was sure she hadn't. Light headed down a side alley and toward the back. But again, there was nothing. Just an empty lot. Now Light was getting sourly frustrated. He should've just written Mello's name instead of enlisting his help.

 

"Damn liar. I should've just known," Light growled, shaking his head. Then he looked up and yelled, "MISA HAD BETTER BE FINE, YOU DUMBASS!" His voice echoed across the empty lot, and bounced down the dark roads, off into the night. His lips thinned. Feeling sufficiently depressed, he walked back toward the front. And he dared to look at his reflection; he didn't appreciate what he saw. His eyes were beginning to grow red from his frantic run around the city, and his hair was more unkempt than he was comfortable with. If he went to work looking like that, the others would know something was wrong. Misa wasn't exactly wife material, but she did make him look his best... when he allowed it. He sighed, looking down. When he allowed it... as if only he mattered in their relationship.

 

"My goals... my dreams... all this time, I've been thinking about me," he said quietly, looking at his reflection, and frowning softly, "Kira's ideals and Kira's goals, and I didn't care what happened to the people around me. It took... it took Misa running away for me to understand this. What happened to me? I wasn't... supposed to feel this. Not for her." He closed his eyes. No, not for her, and not for anyone. Light didn't think it was possible to love. But there he was, in his own way, loving Misa. Hell, he'd gone throughout half the city trying to find her at that point. But was he angry?

 

"Misa isn't on my level, but what now changed how I feel? Just yesterday... no, no, maybe I've always felt this," he reasoned, and his shoulders relaxed, "Maybe... in some weird way, I do love her. That's why I haven't... killed her yet." He looked away again. He had no way to know how he was feeling. For five years, he hadn't really let himself feel much of anything.

 

"But you almost did kill me," came an equally quiet voice, and Light nearly jumped, his eyes going wide as he stared into the glass again, "Misa ran so Light didn't kill her. Misa was scared." He saw Misa, right there, in the glass. But no, not in the glass... he saw her reflection! Misa! He turned around quickly, looking down at her. She stared back with liquidly, blue eyes, her hands clasped behind her back as she swayed on her heels. Quietly, she said, "But Misa still loves Light."

 

"You... you're safe!" Light exclaimed, and for once, seemed to have lost Kira's side of his mind as he grabbed her and hugged her tightly, "Misa, damn it, I was so worried! Where were you!?" He pulled away and looked at her. But for once, the adoration wasn't in her eyes. Not fully. She looked down and pointed behind three large crates. The one place Light hadn't checked.

 

"Misa needed time to think," she said sadly, "Misa didn't want to cry and drive you off again. Misa... knows that Light loves... loves... loves her." Light's eyes softened when he heard the bitterness enter Misa's voice. And when he saw she scowled, looking away to avoid his eyes. He sighed, and let go of her. Then he unfolded a table, and two chairs, and sat down in one of them. But Misa didn't join him. Not until he beckoned her to. She sat warily, watching him. It took him a moment to talk; he wasn't used to her being angry with him.

 

"I don't love Takada," he told her, and right then, it felt like the truth. But Misa obviously didn't believe that. Her frown worsened.

 

"Then why?" she whispered, "Why did you stay with her so long?" Light bit his lip. Why did he do that? That was the question Matt had asked. The question he couldn't answer. But he forced himself to.

 

"Because it was the best move," he replied truthfully, and Misa tilted her head quizzically, "Mi... X-Kira chose her. I swear, it wasn't me. When I found out, I had to do something to keep an eye on her. I... it just..." He stopped for a moment. Misa drew away again, and tears threatened to fall. Rigidly, he said, "There were times she wanted me to kill you. I told her I wouldn't. If I loved her, you'd be dead, Misa."

 

"But why? What did I even do to her!?" Misa demanded angrily, clutching her coat, "Is it because I have you? That's not fair, Light! I was your girlfriend first!" Light chuckled, but it felt weakened and sad. That was a childish point. But that was Misa's best move. Besides, technically it was true. He smiled weakly.

 

"But she was my friend first," he reminded her softly. For a moment, they remained silent. How could Misa begin to respond? So what if that was true? She'd been Mogi's friend before Light had, and she didn't date the older man. For that matter, she'd been L's friend, too, and she didn't hit on him, either. She shook her head. Then, her brows creased as she twisted the end of her coat.

 

"I hate her," she whispered gently, and her eyes narrowed, "I think she's proud and vain and... and too perfect... and stupid! I think she's stupid!" Light snorted, and for once, reached over and ruffled Misa's hair. That was so childish, he actually found it really cute. He almost laughed. But he knew that just yesterday, he was sure Takada was on his level. Or perhaps he only thought he knew. His smile became more genuine.

 

"I'm not seeing her anymore," he stated, and Misa looked up at him, frankly shocked. She hadn't expected that at all.

 

"Why?"

 

"Investigation is done," he replied simply, shrugging, "Nothing more needs to be done. I mean, if I happen to see her, I won't shun her. But I won't see her anymore. That part's done." Misa continued to stare at him, unable to process what was, in her mind, a complicated decision. Could Light... her Light, really change his mind so suddenly!? And did this mean... he loved her? Misa's eyes grew bigger. Did he? Did he really? She stood up, and he rose as well.

 

"Do you really mean that, Light?" she asked earnestly, and he nodded. In one move, she was jumping into his arms, throwing her arms around his neck and crying as she exclaimed, "Oh, Light! I knew you loved me!" He nodded, patting the back of her head. For once, he felt he honestly did. They remained standing there, in front of the cafe, holding each other. It felt... right. Light found he didn't want to let her go, either because he felt this way or because he was afraid she'd run, or disappear again, if he did. But it didn't matter. Misa was back, and this time he was going to do everything to keep her in his life. So what if it didn't fit with Kira's plans? Misa wasn't a bad person; not smart, but not evil, either. And what she did do, she did for him. How could he kill her for that? How, when he knew she wouldn't live too long anyway? If she only lived for another year, so be it. He would stay with her, would marry her, hell, he'd have kids with her if it just made her happy. Then, perhaps, he could live with himself a bit more. Finally, they pulled apart just as the faintest sliver of light came through the horizon. He looked down at her. And saw the Misa that he first met: happy, bouncy, and endearing. And he smiled again.

 

"Let's go home, together," he said, and Misa didn't disagree. He offered his arm; she took it, and they walked down the road, toward the station again. That's when Matt and Mello stepped back out from behind a lamppost, watching. They had seen everything. And they couldn't help but feel proud. After all, they helped bring two people together. At least, that's what Matt wanted to believe. Mello grinned, looking at Matt.

 

"Well, my most trusted confidant, it looks like this is one mission we did well in," he said, raising an amused brow as Matt turned off his DS and nodded, adjusting his goggles.

 

"Hard to believe we actually did it, though," the hacker replied, slipping his DS into his pocket, "So... does this mean we beat Near?" Mello laughed. If only it were that simple! Unfortunately, it wasn't. All he did was make Near's job only slightly less frustrating. He shrugged. At least he hadn't helped him.

 

"No, but we can still try," Mello joked, and patted Matt on the back, "It's the little battles that count now. Let's be glad we won this one." Matt agreed, and they looked down the road, watching as Misa and Light boarded the last train of the night, heading back home. For them, it was simply a job-well-done, a way to help two people while hindering Near. For Misa, it was what should have been: returning home with Light by her side, like husband and wife. And for Light, it was the start of a new idea. One that, as much as he may have detested earlier, he found he wouldn't mind. Ruling the world with Misa, and not with, as he had first thought, Takada. Misa, he found he suddenly thought, was all that mattered. Just as she should've been.

 

-------------------------------(End Chapter)

 

And so, it looks like Light and Misa actually live happily ever after in this story. Until, of course, Light gets caught. Anyway, when I started this, I had just seen the episode where Misa and Takada bicker over Light, and really decided that I liked Misa so much more. I don't think it's fair that Light uses her, so I wanted to see what would happen if she ever fought back and just left. I wanted to give Light a side that he didn't have, one where he realized he pushed Misa way too far. This is the end result. Personally, I loved it. I loved writing Light putting his relationship with her in perspective, and I loved writing him as a frantic, worried boyfriend. And I also loved Mello's part in the story. So, I hope you liked it too. Tell me what you thought, and click that Review button!