Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Champagne Petals ❯ Chapter Five ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *
- Five -
* * *

She walks into the empty restaurant a little cautiously, a little like she doesn't know what she's doing, and when Ryuuga turns to look at her, one quick razor glance from head to toe, she lifts her chin and squares her shoulders, lets her real smile slide across her face, and says, "So... who won?"

"We just ran out of time," Ryuuga says mildly. "But wasn't it fun while it lasted?"

"The best," Light admits honestly, and when Ryuuga offers her hand, she takes it, laces their fingers together, thinks about lifting it to kiss. Doesn't, but it's a near thing, and she can tell by the quirk of Ryuuga's lips that she's noticed it too. "Thank you. Did you find what you were looking for?" And what have you learned, L-that-may-be? she wonders, not bothering to hide the curiosity that she's sure shows in the tilt of her head, the precise fall of her hair against her cheek a deliberate tell she'd designed to look attentive and thoughtful, even when her thoughts were a thousand miles away. What have you learned that I have not?

Ryuuga has a shinigami's smile, but on her, it's beautiful. "I found Light-kun."

"And?"

"You're perfect."

Light smiles. "So are you," she says in return, because it's true, because even if they only had been girls playing, it would still be true.

"Yes, I know," Ryuuga says, and Light laughs.

* * *

"Why'd you tell me?" she asks when the time is right, shoes abandoned again, legs tucked up underneath her, because the restaurant is just a little too chilly and they have an entire section all to themselves, and that's really the only downside to the situation at all, if she's not counting Ryuk still hanging over her shoulder.

"I felt like it," Ryuuga says, and looking at her, the entrees she'd shoved across the table with her nose crinkled, the elaborate fortress she's constructing with cherries and toothpicks and tiny cubes of sponge cake, Light can almost believe her. It's a testament to her skill, and she acknowledges that in the dip of her chin, the careless roll of her eyes, the laughter in her voice when she next speaks.

"You liar," Light says, "spread the whipped cream out, you know perfectly well that the cakes will hold together better that way. And tell me the real reason."

Ryuuga ignores both her advice and her words. "You already know it."

"I already suspect it," Light returns crisply, "but I want you to say it out loud."

"Why?" Ryuuga asks it so flatly that it doesn't really count as a question, but she'll answer it just the same. She'd answer her anything just to keep her attention, and if that's a frightening thought, it's only because Ryuuga's the most dangerous thing she's ever seen, it's only because she's L, or L's proxy, or something in between.

"Because I do."

Ryuuga frowns. "Light-kun is very demanding."

"If you mean to say bossy, you should say bossy. Prevarication does not suit you."

It doesn't. Lies, truths concealed in blatant rudeness, vicious little jabs and half-twisted truths, but she doesn't like distractions, especially when they're so halfhearted. Light wonders a little why she's bothering, if this is supposed to be the start of the new game, or if it's just another test--that's probably the most likely, so she'll play along for now. "Now say it."

Ryuuga rolls her eyes, heaves an exaggerated sigh, swirls a fragment of cake around in the whipped cream, then picks it up to examine it. Then she sets it down again, and Light promptly and very pointedly steals it.

She's halfway through slicing it down the middle with very exact and meticulous motions when her companion speaks again.

"Your father is working with me," Ryuuga says, deliberately slowly, blatantly ignoring Light's theft in favor of eating the half-constructed shish-kabob that was once about to form the second balustrade in the fortress wall. "But I like you better."

Ryuuga takes a moment to chew, removes the toothpick from her teeth with a dainty tug, and drops it carelessly onto the spotless tablecloth. There's something a little bit ominous but more impressive about the way it sticks upright in the thick linen. "And anyway, you're Kira."

Light stares, hands frozen in position, before she takes a breath and deliberately sets the knife down. Behind and above her, Ryuk cackles gleefully, but she hadn't told him about this when she'd told him about their game, he thinks that she's supposed to be shocked here.

Ryuuga knows better, so she hums an aimless little tune instead and resumes building her castle.

"...you said it," Light says at last, keeping her voice mild, lacing her fingers together, deeply pleased as Ryuk's laughter abruptly chokes off. Ha ha, she thinks pointedly, and very carefully keeps her tone even when she continues to speak. "I wasn't altogether sure you would."

Ryuuga, predictably, doesn't bother to look up from her current construction project. Light figures if she could see him properly, she'd be staring up in fascination at Ryuk's odd little delighted dance, because it's certainly distracting her, and anything she notices is something Ryuuga will notice as well.

Small favors from the ace up her sleeve.

"Light-kun is more than bright enough to figure out why," Ryuuga says, and pokes at the toothpick with a finger. It wobbles, but only just.

"Yes," Light agrees, and tilts her chin down, considers her folded hands. The polish on one of her nails is flaking, and she makes a mental note to fix it later, not too soon, because being unpolished for just long enough will make her look flustered, but taking too long to fix it will make her suspicious. "Conventional morality and a desire to protest my own innocence should come into play here, but we both know better than that."

"It is telling," Ryuuga remarks after a short silence, glancing up again, "that your initial response to such an accusation is to be flattered."

Light's lips curve into a soft smile of their own accord, and she leans back a little, tilts her head to regard the other girl through half-lidded eyes. "You found me," she says slowly, "and you played with me, even though I didn't know why. Now I finally know the reason. It's not a good reason, but regardless of the circumstances, you found me."

"A dangerous thing for Kira to admit," Ryuuga says softly, and she wonders how a voice so low and rough can sound like drawing steel. It's a thing she'd like to imitate, but her own alto is too smooth for it, so she'll have to settle for ice instead. "I wonder why you do."

Light shrugs one shoulder, lets her smile widen just enough to be rueful, not quite enough to be dangerous. "I'm not Kira. I have nothing to lose by admitting that I am pleased that you found me worthy of your attentions, regardless of what your intentions were. I am aware that it is not a normal response, and that perhaps I cast myself under more suspicion by not trying to conceal it, but that decision is ultimately yours, if you are who you say you are."

"You are not, and neither am I," Ryuuga says lightly, plucking another cherry free from the plate and adding it to her own.

Light shrugs again, inclines her head a bit more deeply. "I suppose I should thank you for taking the time to play with me," she says softly, warmly because she's never had so much fun before, because she's never had a chance to be so ruthless and so free, because she likes this, knife-fighting with sweet words and sweeter smiles, likes the way Ryuuga looks at her like she's trying to scrape Kira out because she knows that she's somewhere inside her. "It was a wonderful game."

"Unfortunately for Light-kun," Ryuuga says simply, placing a cherry down against the lower layer of cake as a brace, "by her words she has only implicated herself further."

"Indeed?" Light inquires, raising an eyebrow. "I can understand how my words would indicate unwarranted interest in you on my part, but how do you reconcile the difference in goals between myself and Kira?"

"Just because you hate the world," Ryuuga says, not looking up from her castle as she adds another cherry support, "doesn't mean that you're going to destroy it."

Light breathes in sharply and tightens her grip on her own fingers, deliberately counting out the seconds until her knuckles turn white. Then she unclenches her fists and smooths out imaginary wrinkles in the tablecloth with fingers that don't shake. "But I want to," she says simply, "and you know that, too."

Maybe she does, just a little, even now, and maybe if the Death Note hadn't slipped from the skies into her own hands she would truly want the world to burn, maybe she would have figured out another way to cleanse it of its filth and its own stupidity, because up until now she's never really seen its beauty, never quite realized that lovely things could come from somewhere and something that isn't her own.

The Death Note changed everything, and she'll always be thankful to Ryuk for that, even though his incessant cackling is annoying and his constant demands for apples makes her want to strangle him.

The heckling from above is also getting old.

"Light-kun is too intelligent to believe in a goal so futile," Ryuuga says, and adds another cherry. They look like a bloody syrupy mess at the base of her tower, and Light wonders if it's deliberate, a metaphor in cake and cream and fresh fruit, and if it is, maybe she's just a little bit flattered, maybe she likes it a little too much for her own good.

"Should not Light-kun therefore be too intelligent to believe in goals as futile as Kira's?" she says delicately, and hides a smile as Ryuuga tilts her chin up to fix her with a curious stare.

"An interesting question for Kira to ask," Ryuuga says, and presses a thumb to her lips. "Why do you?"

Light shrugs one shoulder, averts her eyes, traces an idle doodle on the table that should be sufficient to express a low level of anxiety and a considerable amount of thoughtfulness. "I would be lying if I said I didn't understand Kira's motives," she says softly, "acting alone one is limited by necessity, but I suppose carrying out the ideal beyond a single lifetime would depend on how Kira's managing to do it. All tyrants fall in the end, after all, it's just a question of how their power becomes diffused."

"An interesting way to put it. You consider Kira a tyrant and not simply a serial killer?" The tone of Ryuuga's voice indicates which she believes is the proper appellation, but Light rather likes the flavor of disdain that weighs down 'tyrant,' and thinks she wouldn't mind ruling the world, even though her main concern is with making it safe. The savior of one nation is the damnation of the other, after all.

"I think becoming a tyrant is Kira's ultimate goal," Light says, which is a lie, "perhaps not in the traditional sense of the word, but we've seen ostentatious displays of power simply because you--if you really are L--have been taunting him."

"Him?" Ryuuga says pointedly, and Light smiles slightly.

"A little too transparent there, huh?"

"I am underwhelmed."

"It was worth a shot."

"Now I am insulted."

"I didn't say it was a good shot."

Ryuuga smiles. If it were anyone else, it would be a hideous smile, but Light likes all the razor edges in it, likes its sharpness and deceit. "Don't you want to impress me?"

Light smiles back, careful, polished, poised. Not ostentatious, showing no teeth, the faintest hint of gloss to deepen the color, a little crinkle in the corner of her eyes, just enough to be politely amused, never enough to be rude or taunting. "Of course, but impressing you would only further your suspicions, would it not?"

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Kira and I have a rather adversarial relationship."

"One-upmanship? Then I'd better not impress you at all."

"Far too late, Light-kun."

She drops her gaze, pretending at flattery that they both know is genuine. "So where do we go from here?"

"I tail you openly from now on," she says, calm and careless, "and in time I will decide if it's worth inviting you into my investigation."

Light raises an eyebrow. "I think I've spent more time with you now than I have with anybody else outside of my family in my entire life, but I suppose that's fair, we were playing before. You're testing me?"

"Of course," Ryuuga says blandly, "ordinarily these tests would be administered by a go-between, but they're dead now, because you killed them."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Light says mildly, but lets a hint of frustration slip into her voice, "but if that happened, I'm sorry for your loss and I can understand why you'd need to replace a team." She hesitates, slow and deliberate, then tilts her chin up, makes sure her voice is soft and sympathetic but also clear and sincere, because Kira wouldn't say this, because Kira wouldn't dare to admit something so dangerous. "But I'm not sorry that their loss brought you to me."

"You are my chief suspect," Ryuuga says lazily, "for a case of this magnitude, personal involvement was more or less inevitable." Then she tilts her head to the side, sets down her tea, and reaches across the table and pats Light's cheek, soft and delicate, like a child. "Also, Light-kun is very pretty."

Light laughs and considers tilting her head into her palm, but Ryuuga's already pulling away again, so she swallows her disappointment and speaks again. "Somehow I doubt that's relevant--and if it is, don't mention that aspect of this relationship to my father. I assume he agreed to this?"

"Of course," Ryuuga says, like she wouldn't have done the same thing without his permission, which is a lie.

Light raises an eyebrow but accepts the falsehood for what it is. "An appeal to his sense of honor, I presume. Tired, but effective."

Ryuuga scoops up some of the whipped cream and examines it critically. "Your father is a good man, if bland."

It's an actual compliment. Light's a little surprised. "I do not disagree, although I do wonder how much your methods must clash with his own."

"Authority is a useful tool," Ryuuga says, and puts down the spoon and reaches for the cherries again. "It was pointed out to him that Light-kun is very brilliant, well-connected to the police, and highly observant, so she is also the one person in the world with the most likely chance of being Kira. Also she could simply be bored out of her mind. Perhaps both at the same time."

Light rolls her eyes, ignoring Ryuk's delighted cackle. "Of course I was bored out of my mind, but that doesn't mean I was going to go around killing people. You must have been bored too at some point in your life, and judging by your profession you've never done anything like that either."

"Perhaps," Ryuuga hums, and devours two cherries in quick succession. Light stares when she eats the stems, too, and then giggles when she spits them back out, perfectly knotted in the middle.

She rests an elbow on the table and drops her gaze down to the cherry stems, back up again, and offers Ryuuga a playful smile. "Hmm, so it was a pity our game had to end."

"I do apologize, but I am fairly certain I am not quite Light-kun's type," Ryuuga says, but there's a soft curve to her lips that indicates just how much she's relishing the lie.

Light props an elbow on the table and her chin on her hand and grins back. "We could have staged a dramatic breakup when you accused me of being Kira. That could have been fun."

"I believe your father would like me even less if I broke your heart, Light-kun."

"He doesn't like you?"

"Very few members of most law enforcement agencies actually like me, Light-kun."

"I can't imagine why," Light says, taking a sip of her tea. "Some would say what you've done so far is illegal, unethical, and immoral."

"Coming from Kira, I take that as a compliment."

"I'm not Kira."

"Coming from a Kira suspect who is also a liar, I take that as a compliment."

Light stifles a snicker behind a ladylike sip of tea. "You're welcome." She sips again, sets the teacup back down, and turns her gaze upwards through her lashes, because it makes her look younger, softer, more appealing. "So why abandon our game?"

Ryuuga smiles. "I found what I needed."

"I'm not Kira," Light says patiently, "and I won't flatter myself by thinking I could have caught your attention any other way. Therefore..."

"Tell me why I found you when I was looking for Kira," Ryuuga says, and drops another cherry in her mouth. The juice stains her lips like blood, and Light clasps her hands together on top of the tablecloth, parts her own lips, and speaks.

* * *

"How was your date?" her mother asks, and Light ducks her head down and smiles a little to herself, fidgeting with her hands lightly.

"It wasn't a real date," she says, "we were just celebrating our first day of university together."

"You were gone for a long time," Sachiko says, "although you returned much earlier than usual."

"She has a meeting in the morning," Light admits, tugging on her skirt a little. "So we couldn't... anyway, it wasn't a real date."

"Maybe for her it wasn't," Sachiko says in a tone that's faintly reproving. "Does she even know how you feel about her?"

"...not sure," Light says, "I don't--mmm. It's... I don't want to mess this up."

"...I've never known you to not chase after what you want," Sachiko says, voice just a little too level. "What's changed?"

Light smiles faintly, reaches a hand up and tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear, lifts her free arm and hugs it close to her chest. "It's... she said I was pretty. Today. It's the first time she's noticed that I..."

Sachiko draws in a deep breath, rises to her feet and reaches out a care-worn hand and tilts Light's chin up. There's something very sincere about her gaze, Light thinks, and is careful not to meet her eyes, playing at shyness and uncertainty when she's never felt so serene. "You've only known her for three months," Sachiko says softly, "and already you've shown more feeling for her than I've seen from you in years."

Light blinks rapidly, hoping it will cause tears to well, and if it doesn't, the effect will still be the same. "I... I really like her," she says, in a careful voice. "I'm not going to ruin my chances of being her friend just because I--"

"Oh, Light," her mother says, and looks like she's thinking about hugging her. It's the perfect moment to strike, because especially now she can't be weighed down by her, the force of her sincerity and affection, and if it ruins her perfect image just a little, Ryuuga's changed her enough to justify the poison.

"...mama," she says softly, taking one deliberate step back, "why do you only ever ask me about her?"

Sachiko draws in a soft, sharp breath, and Light looks up to meet her gaze, making sure to keep her expression gentle, her hands still. "Am I really so alien to you that it takes a thing like this to make you understand me?"

Her mother is quiet for a long moment, and in the fine lines of her face Light can read every stress of the last eighteen years, raising a daughter she could never understand. "And if it does?" Sachiko asks, voice low and unsteady.

Light draws in a carefully measured breath and exhales it just as slowly. "Ryuuga always understands me," she says, "she knows who I am, what I want. What I dream about. She's the only one who's ever--" and she lets her voice crack, just a little, bites the inside of her lip to force tears to her eyes, "please don't talk to me about her anymore," she finishes thickly, and ducks out of the embrace, tilts her head down, and whispers "I'm going to bed," and then rushes upstairs before her mother can stop her.

* * *

"What was that all about?" Ryuk demands, dangling upside-down from the ceiling, and Light taps the pen thoughtfully against her lips and marks down another death. She's been cutting a swathe through Indonesia for the past two nights, and maybe it's time to switch locations, again, to call a new nation to her cause.

"Ryuuga's testing me," she replies, "I'm not going have the time to keep playing with mom and Sayu once things really get going, especially if she was serious about inviting me into the investigation."

"So was all that lies?" he asks. "Seems pretty complicated for something so simple."

"Of course not," Light replies, idly marking down the last name and closing the notebook with a proprietary pat. "It wouldn't work so well if it weren't true, after all."

"Wait, so does that mean you actually--"

Light leans back in her chair and offers her shinigami an upside-down smile. "You've still got a lot to learn about humans, don't you, Ryuk?"

He laughs.

* * *

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