Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Conviction ❯ Introduction ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

CONVICTION
by Nadia Blackrose

Summary
He knew from the moment he would fall for her, there would be no return. For love is a thousand needless piercing your body. Love is a painful grieving, a slow death, punishment, and conviction...

Author's Notes: This is my very first serious Death Note fic, which unfolds between the episodes 24-25 and some time after the end of Death Note. In case you haven't watched all episodes you should turn back, there are major spoilers. I was inspired by the fact that there were some plot holes which could not be explained ( as to why Misa made the eye deal again yet did not come close to L to learn his name), and I intend to give my own point of view to bridge these small, unnoticed gaps. Hope you will like it, and I can only promise you it will get more and more interesting as the story progresses. Of course, mind games, revelations and twists follow the canon of Death Note, so they won't be omitted. No further disclaimers will be put, as they ruin the pace of the story.
I do not own Death Note, but I own my concept.
Now enjoy people!

Chapter 1
Introduction

He had watched her several times through the countless monitors surrounding his solitary, somewhat monotonous life, when he wanted to take a break from his non-stop, meticulous surveillance business thing. At times, you could even see his unspeakably emotionless lips form a discreet smile- not one of those which might adorn his average, mediocre appearance, but one of the smiles that could make him look more like a human.
She was more or less well-known among the cycles of the Japanese show biz system, as a model, as an actress, as a bit of everything you might say, since there was nothing, she couldn't do in the world of art without being hugely successful, conversely to the fact that her talent was not in line with her intelligence, which can only be put down to luck. There was something in her aura, radiating self-confidence, cuteness, charm. She had a unique mincing manner, a bright, alluring smile, but above everything she had luck. For Misa, Amane was really lucky to have been granted such delicate beauty, the strongest weapon to open all the doors of fame and glory, without making a single effort, just by attracting the people around her with her divine grace.
He, on the other side, might have had a reputation which was not restricted by the boundaries of Japan, but he always pulled the strings from the backstage, covered under a fine veil of mystery and safety. Everyone had heard of the notorious L, the x factor, the best investigator alive, but at the same time no one truly knew him, because he had chosen for this isolation of his. Perhaps, he was nothing more than a hiding coward, the most malicious would reason, but little did he care about the other's opinion, without this implying that he devalued people. He was just reluctant to succumb to their dumb, wryly comments, if he ever revealed his true identity, or made an appearance in public. That was because people would hardly believe that behind the odd-looking man (with the unusual sitting manners and the huge appetite for candies) lies a strong and gifted brain such as his. It was more than impossible for him to be acceptable to a group of ordinary individuals, when he didn't meet the criteria of today's modern society: beauty, a certain lifestyle, good taste in clothing, and of course, some considerable "natural" manners. And even though he possessed wealth, the most attracting temptation, he never tried to show off or take advantage of his status. After all, being special was a blessing and a curse at the same time, since an ordinary man would hardly be able to capture his complicated way of thinking, and accept him the way he is. Just for him, L Lawliet, the man, the person, and not only because he was L, the famous detective. Consequently, L had never come close to other humans, had never engaged in personal relationships, had never gone out with friends to the cinema.
On the other hand, his job demanded protection of himself, prevention from emotional pain and coverage from his enemies, since too many desired to get a rid of him. So, he was free of worries and consuming thoughts, fully devoted into solving numerous difficult cases, only the ones that piqued his interest. And it seemed that revealing himself was not necessary at all. At least, he wouldn't do it if it wasn't for some special reason, like facing an intriguing challenge that might uplift his ego, make him rack his brains just for a change, for the fun of it.
Until the case of Kira aroused, one of the most difficult cases he's ever worked on, and then came Light, his altered ago, the one who could undeniably be his successor. Without a single doubt, Kira and Light were exactly the same person. L was more than 90 percent sure about this, although he could lie better than a professional poker player, mentioning just a small percentage. Deep inside, he truly hoped he was mistaken, but even this feeling was something that only Light might make him feel. Friend and foe, innocent and guilty, but above everything, Light was equally intelligent to L. Under different circumstances, they could have been the best of friends. But not in this cruel and harsh reality, this insane dimension named earth.

After some time, as if he was hit by a coincidental stroke of fate, Misa came to the picture as well. She was mad about Light, distant and aggressive towards L, calling him a pervert most of the times...
Until she kissed him on the cheek one day, and uncontrollable, unprecedented feelings took over him. When loneliness had become his best friend, when his main concern was not to have a woman in his life, when he was free of worry and burden, there came her to plague his mind, torment his sanity and alter all the things he had taken for granted.
"I could actually fall for you" he had joked back then, and he knew that from the moment, he'd fall for her, there would be no return. For love is the most beautiful flower, the most delicious fruit, the most invaluable gift from the gods to all creation. However, when you're not loved in return this flower withers, and the fruit gets rotten, slowly and painfully. That is how you get rotten, too, from misery and pain, for every kiss that won't caress your lips like a gentle dewdrop, for every sweet juice you won't taste from that fruit. And every touch you won't receive feels like a thousand needles piercing your very body, inside out.
"Love is but a fire devouring your soul. Love is decay. It's pure conviction." he used to think often, when he had to deal with cases related to passion crimes, and though he could conceive the complexity of that feeling, he thought that it did not apply to him.
Then, he was mistaken, once in his entire life, and that would cost him so much more...
Because a young woman managed to bring down each one of his almightily defenses, conquering the impregnable fortress of his mind, giving him the final blow which would throw off his inner balance. No, he shouldn't feel like this for her. It was a grave mistake, a tragic one so to speak, to allow himself bow to that feeling, which would only lead him to need things he had totally renounced. He wanted her, longed for her with his everything, against the confusion that prevailed in his inner battle with his logic. Truth has that she was just another criminal, the second Kira. Furthermore, her irrational feelings for Kira were the ones that betrayed her in the first place, and brought her to the scene.
Misa would never become his, since she was showing in every way possible her devotion as well as her obsession with Light. L could see that every time she was dating Light, when he was along with them, playing the role of the intruder, the stranger who destroyed her joyful moments, when he and Light were handcuffed. And that was only because L wanted to ensure that Light wasn't Kira. Light wasn't really interested at Misa. It was more than obvious, and he only wanted to keep her close to him so to inspect her. He was forced to put up with her so that no silly words would come out from her mouth and blow his perfect plan to smithereens. To him, Misa was but another lamb to the altar of sacrifice, a flaw in his miraculous perfection, a stain at the beautiful portrait he wanted to draw with his fantasy.
No matter how hard Light tried to conceal his true intentions. L was constantly there, eyes always watching, observing even the slightest expression of his body language. Light detested Misa, but she was too blind to see. To make matters worse, it seemed that there was no point in Misa being told the truth by L, even if she wasn't smart enough to conclude that L was profoundly jealous...
At the same time, L deeply knew that she'd never set eyes on him, since he didn't possess the appearance of Light, neither he'd ever become her idol: Kira. L was Kira's enemy, so he was an enemy of Misa as well, the second Kira. And if there was a reason for Misa to be absolved from her despicable crimes, that was just her recklessness, which led in no time to her being found. But even so, it was more than obvious that her passion for Kira motivated her, manipulated her in such a graceful manner like a children's puppet. Yes, the infamous Misa was eventually nothing more than a mere puppet.

Oh how deep it hurt L, knowing that the young woman who made him feel like this was but the pawn of such a sinister person. Light was simply using her, fooling her without the slightest embarrassment, and she followed him, nonetheless, obeyed in such a willingness like a small dog, giving herself into his full ownership, indisputably humiliating herself every single moment. As if she had no pride and dignity within her, as if she didn't care whether there was tomorrow or not.
No, that wasn't love, it was nothing more than conspicuous, shameless exploitation. And that could only outrage L's soul, witnessing his one and only desire suffer from the same unfulfilled love for someone else...
It was too selfish and arrogant of him to dispel her illusions, inflicting her more pain. Because Misa was not accustomed to rejection, and learning the truth would kill her worse than the most painful death. It would tear her apart in just a few seconds. She would collapse like a pile of cards, like a castle built on sand. No, she loved her too much to cause her such great harm.
Nevertheless, the voice of his heart commanded him to help her open her eyes, and make her see the world more clearly, with less clouded judgment. After all, L was fully aware that he had not much time left before the final moment came and left his last, dying breath. It was completely hopeless to try and warn her, but dying in deep silent complete was something he wouldn't wish for no one Not even for Light.
Thus, after he and Light broke free of their common handcuffs, and after that fatal kiss of Misa that dramatically changed his life,
L finally got the decision to ask her on a date...