Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Ghost Love Score ❯ Bleed ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/N: Hola. So I'm a bit apprehensive about posting this here. I'm in the process of editing it at the moment, but that's not the issue. The whole thing's up on ffn and it got a mixed reaction. I had a lot of flames early on. All I can say is don't like, don't read.

Warning: Rape, abuse, if you flame me I will ignore you. If you don't like this sort of story, do all involved parties a favour and just don't read it. Also, name spoilers.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

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You left me again. Third time this week. Third. And it's only Thursday. Three times this week you've raped me, beaten me, and left me to bleed. Why do you do this to me? Do you not love me anymore? No. That's not true. I know you love me. You've always loved me, and you always will. You're just having a hard time right now. But Miheal, when will this stop?

Do you remember, Miheal, when we were kids back in the orphanage? You were so kind to me then. I saw a side of you no one else ever knew existed. L didn't even know you were capable of the kindness you showed me, and he knew everything about everyone. When you used to hold me at night when it would storm. I was so afraid of the lightening, but when you were there with me I felt safe. Remember how you would hold me? I loved that feeling.

And Miheal, do you remember the day they took us all to the beach? I was fourteen and you were fifteen and we thought the trip was the dumbest thing ever. Then you led me off to that little cave you'd found, off where no one could see us. And you kissed me, Miheal. I didn't know you were gay and you didn't know I was either, but you kissed me. Did you know that you were my first kiss?

It hurts, Miheal. I'm in so much pain right now. I'm bleeding, I know. From you forcing yourself on me and from when you hit me. And there's the slit in my side where you got angry and pulled a knife on me. And all I can do is lie here in the pool of you and of me and of my blood and my tears. Because even if I could stand, there's no where I can go. And it hurts, Miheal. More than you can ever know, more than you can even imagine.

It's not just the physical pain, either. It's knowing that you will come home tomorrow and do this again. And to make things even worse, I don't even know anymore if you're drunk when you do this to me. Those first few times I knew you were, and that was a comfort because I could blame the alcohol. It wasn't you, you weren't yourself. But now, now it gets harder and harder to tell. Tonight I couldn't smell even the slightest hint of alcohol on you. I'm so afraid that you were sober. In all of this, that is my worst fear.