Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ PITCH ❯ Lock and Key ( Chapter 27 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: selena281 
Anime/Manga: Death Note Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / Romance / Angst / Drama / Comedy | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.03.2011 | Pages: 7 | Words: 10.9K | Visits: 242 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Death Note Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / Romance / Angst / Drama / Comedy | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.03.2011 | Pages: 7 | Words: 10.9K | Visits: 242 | Status: Work In Progress
PITCH
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Light x L
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Part 26
L is a reclusive detective who takes his job seriously. Too seriously, in fact. Once he takes note of how neglected and stagnant his life truly is, he decides to make some changes. Challenges arise through an unanticipated meeting. AU
A/N: When you've hit bottom, there's nowhere left to go but up.
That saying reminds me of L a lot from last chapter. Only last chapter he hadn't quite hit bottom. (I hear your fear at what's in store for him! Muahahaaa.) Contrary to popular belief, my sole purpose and joy in life is not tormenting L till he pops like a balloon. (Mentally.) Hahaha. Really. Not that you'll believe me. But I do tend to have a thing for displaying: "What can go wrong, will go wrong." I keep thinking, poor L, too. I love him to pieces. And I love Raito to pieces (though that love comes with a strong urge to bitchslap).
The photo mentioned last chapter featuring L and Raito in a compromising display... I was asked if it was just them kissing, and told that that seemed pretty tame. I wondered if anyone else got that idea, and decided to address it here. As Raito was taking the pic of them himself, it would have been a close-up that indeed caught little more than their lip lock and scandalous expressions. However, out of the shot, there was full hands-on action. So if you think that a picture of two people kissing while one is handcuffed and getting a hand job from the other who is sadistic and on a power trip is tame... well, I guess it was tame. Lol. No nudity was visible or anything. Just porntasm expressions as things got hot and heavy.
The issue with Raito's phone not working - this will be addressed. Be patient, all will become clear. In time. :)
((If you are interested in seeing some responses to questions that reviewers asked, or more author's notes in general, go to fanfiction (dot) net. Posting here was making the chapter too long and I don't like breaking them into two parts.))
One more thing - I know this fic has gotten dreadfully heavy, ANGSTy, and all, but it will not be this way forever. Unfortunately, events just progressed the way they did, and sometimes (like in life) things can really become a thick blanket of SUCK. The trick is finding your way out from under. (Note: Red reference. Did you get it? Lol. I love them so. Freaking awesome music.)
Excerpt from the song "Out from Under" by Red:
Knocked off my feet
The earth moved beneath
The edge of a dream and a nightmare
Open the door
Fell through the floor
Slipped through the cracks into nowhere
So tell me where were you
When everything fell down like thunder
I begged you to pull me through
I couldn't get out from under
The earth moved beneath
The edge of a dream and a nightmare
Open the door
Fell through the floor
Slipped through the cracks into nowhere
So tell me where were you
When everything fell down like thunder
I begged you to pull me through
I couldn't get out from under
Go listen to the song. Youtube it or something. :)
The real song for this chapter will be in the author's note at the end.
Disclaimer: (See part 1 for full disclaimer.)
Pitch: (def.)
A substance commonly utilized to bind materials in construction... Tar pitch appears solid, and can be shattered with a hard impact, but it is actually fluid. Pitch flows at room temperature, but extremely slowly. To attain maximum fluidity, to be used, it must be exposed to heat.
Minds are like pitch. To reveal their full potential, they must be exposed to environs that apply stress. They must be challenged.
Part 26: (Lock and Key)
L didn't sleep long. Maybe two hours.
The promise of solace was rather anticlimactic if he did say so himself. He dragged himself out of bed, feeling like hell, but knowing further sleep would be impossible.
A shower was necessary. Filthy rain water wasn't something he wanted to luxuriate in by leaving it indefinitely upon his person.
Grabbing more clean clothes, he headed to the bathroom. Why didn't I shower first? he wondered with irritation. Now he would have to clean the sheets yet again.
He made quick work of showering, dressed in clothes nearly identical to the ones he'd been wearing before, only this time he put on the jeans. Damp hair dripped in his face, which he ignored as he sat in front of his computer, trying to achieve the mental state that would allow him to process facts and trends and decipher the secrets that lay waiting to be discovered with regard to his current cases.
He felt punchy and a little woozy, as if he really needed more sleep.
Ridiculous.
The real problem was that he'd been slowly losing his ability to hyper focus. It had been slipping away from him the past few weeks. He needed to get back into the groove. He needed to block out everything that was not pertinent to a case. He needed to erase the presence of people, erase his tracking of day and night and time, erase the need for food and drink. All that he needed was in front of him: pixels of light, the keys beneath his pale, spidery hands, the facts that he accumulated, and the speculations that formed from his probing thoughts.
Finally, finally, he felt himself slipping into it.
Like jumping into a pool of water, he felt the cool submersion into purely analytical thought surround him, and he embraced it. Interpersonal issues, emotions and other such superfluous things fell away and he was free again. Unfettered. Aseptic. Purposeful. Calm.
L worked in a near manic state for hours. How many, he wasn't sure.
The only thing that had broken the trance was Watari knocking softly and opening the door. L registered the intrusion with some distant part of his mind, but he did not allow it to break his focus nor interrupt the punishingly fast cadence of his fingers upon the keyboard. Dimly, he was aware that the older man was asking him something about food. He nodded and Watari left.
Some time later, a plate of food was placed before him. He mumbled a thank you as he ran another background check on the Yotsuba client. Interesting...
He pushed the food aside and began typing again in earnest.
--
A muffled, yet insistent noise called L's attention to it. He was loath to be interrupted, but the mechanical chirping of his phone was not something to be ignored. He'd trained himself that way by necessity - it was one of the few things that could break the spell when he was really engrossed in his work.
He cursed softly in distracted irritation as he realized the phone was not within reach. His mind remained firmly glued in his case even as he got up to search for the source of the disturbance. It was as if his mind was wired into the computer. The further away he got, the stronger the pull.
He found the shiny red phone eventually, but it had stopped ringing.
He flipped it open with disinterest and saw the missed call and an alert that a voicemail had been received. It was no number he recognized.
Instead of calling the person back, he started playing the voicemail so he could see if this was something that needed to be dealt with urgently or whether he could put it off as he would have liked.
'Hello, L, this is Hal Lidner. I need to speak with you regarding your employment with us. Please call me back at your earliest convenience. I promise it will be brief.'
L was tempted to file the call under 'deal with later', but he had the niggling feeling that he should just take care of this now. Besides, he was a little curious as to what Hal wished to discuss. He supposed it could be about some case or other they needed him to look into. Aiber may be one of their detectives, but it seemed as though the blond was not being utilized in that capacity any longer. It was just a guess however, judging by the acquaintance he kept with Misa, the tiny bits of information he'd gleaned from Raito's conversation that day at the office as they'd all stood in the break room, and the social engagement he'd witnessed at the restaurant last night. Aiber was being groomed for a higher position than 'detective'. Perhaps something approaching the brunet's standing.
L called the number back. At least I won't have to play telephone tag if I call back right away, he thought, looking on the bright side. Then I can get back to--
"Lidner," a female voice stated with the sound of shuffling papers in the background.
"This is L," he said simply. "You called?" He appreciated her lack of 'polite', meaningless small talk. Filler wasted time and breath.
"L, hi," Hal said in a warmer tone, as if she liked him. Which, he supposed, she might. Well, according to Raito, not to mention his own observations. "I'm sorry to bother you when you're probably working, but I need you to come by the office."
Leaving the house was the last thing L felt inclined to do.
"What for?" he asked.
"Well, I have the paperwork ready for your termination of contract, but you'll need to come in to sign it."
L said nothing for a minute or two, trying to process such an unexpected thing. Termination? He'd yet to work on a single case. Not that he wanted or needed to have a second job, but Raito had for some reason deemed it necessary... "I did not request such a thing," he said quizzically.
"Raito thought you might want to end your employment and asked me to make preparations."
L blinked, feeling as if cold water had been splashed in his face. Why now? After all his protestations, and Raito's ignoring of such, why was he now being told that he could quit?
A thread of discord began creeping into his sterile, emotionless world. A seemingly innocuous strand that would surely compromise the future of his hard won composure. It was a thin streak of color in his monochromatic world. Dangerous.
"Why would I want to do that?" he asked in an inflectionless voice.
"It's not my place to speculate," she said. "You are merely being given the option."
Was Raito cutting him loose? Was he distancing himself? Was this just another sign that their own relationship, not just as employee and employer, was at an end? Or could this be seen as something positive? Was Raito trying to make amends by allowing him to free himself from the job he'd never wanted?
The more the name Raito arose, the more he felt stress cracks forming in the buffering shell he'd reconstructed around himself. The lockbox he'd shoved memories of the brunet into was starting to open and anxiety was pouring from its maw like tendrils of heavy fog. It sullied his fortress, and it crept across the floor, seeking him.
"Is Raito there? Can I speak to him?"
He needed to lay this to rest, one way or another, and there was only one person who could do that for him. Unfortunately, that person was hard to get a hold of these days. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of calling the office before. Of course Raito would be at work--
"I'm sorry, he hasn't come in today."
Strange. It was so very strange. First the phone and now this. Granted, he hadn't tried calling the brunet again today to see if the message was the same... but if it was, there was a possibility he could find out something at the office.
It was 11:30 a.m.
"What time should I come in?" he asked her.
"Whenever you like. I'll be here." There was a brief pause and the sound of pages of paper being turned. "Oh, but I do have a meeting at 4:30, so you might want to come before then."
"I'm in the middle of something at the moment, but I'm sure I can make that."
---
L arrived at the office building around 4 p.m. He felt tired, as was evidenced by the darkened bruises under his eyes and was not in the mood to be doing this right now. After he'd spoken with Hal, he'd had trouble picking up where he'd left off on the case, his thread of concentration having been severed. He'd stubbornly fought to regain it, but had only made real progress for a very short time.
He didn't like this place with its echoing halls and artificiality. People glided through the building with purpose, fake expressions, and resounding hollowness.
He'd dressed the part, so they paid him no mind.
He wouldn't have it any other way.
It also helped that he minded his poor posture and also kept a neutral expression on his face. It was a different permutation of his poker face, but one that had been serving him well in more social venues. People's eyes caught on to true blankness, but having a trace of an expression, any expression at all, let their eyes slide past.
This place... it felt so different being here without the brunet at his side. And it was nearly surreal, the way his mind was extending outward, probing as if he could find Raito through the maze and walls of it with mere thought, yet he knew that the person he sought was not present. There was a flavor like disappointment on his tongue and a frown threatened to mar the mask he wore.
Hal. Maybe she knew something. And even if she was not inclined to share, he ought to be able to gain some insight from being face-to-face with her. Expressions and body language usually carried a wealth of information.
Purpose allowed him to move among the people without dwelling too much upon them. Without a goal in mind, the influx of humanity was likely to have made him feel claustrophobic and put-upon. He would be more focused on them, their assessments of him, and the idea that they expected him to do something if they stared at him hard enough.
His stride slowed as he realized he did not know exactly where Hal's office was. This was the correct floor, he was sure, but... He looked at the branching hallway. Was it left? Or was it right? It had only been pointed out to him once, in passing, with a generalized wave of a hand instead of a pointed finger, so it was not entirely useful or specific.
"Hey. You-" someone called out.
They could have been speaking to anyone, but he knew that feminine voice. Misa. He wasn't sure she was speaking to him, however. He decided not to check and kept walking.
"You--" her voice sounded closer, and falsely congenial. "L, isn't it?"
Damnit. His feet slowed to a reluctant stop. Just her voice was enough to put him on edge and flashed countless scenes upon his eyes. If he ever heard or saw her again, it would be too soon. She was the epitome of falsehood.
"Yes?"
He turned to meet her and was struck again by the shine of golden hair and clear, sparkling blue eyes. Their appearances were polar opposites. And she almost seemed to regard him as some kind of lowly bug. She wasn't obvious about it as she stood before him in a puff-sleeved mulberry colored skirt suit that fit her like a glove, but he caught it in the random downward quirks at the corners of her smiling mouth.
She renewed that smile, ratcheting it up with blinding intensity, before asking, "Have you spoken to Raito recently?"
He felt a frown form on his face. Odd. Why would she ask me that? He could tell by her manner that she was not rubbing anything in, she really was asking him. The bright smile was hiding her irritation and embarrassment at having to do so.
Then perhaps she hadn't successfully seen Raito the other night?
"I have not," he responded simply.
Visibly, she seemed to deflate and a little frustration crept into her expression. "And I suppose you wouldn't know where he is either?"
He shook his head to indicate he did not.
A frown blossomed on her refined, cherubic features. "Where could he be?" she said under her breath, her eyes flicking around the immediate area as if Raito might be hiding in plain view. "And after we just got back together..." she pouted.
Those words hit L like a punch to the gut.
In fact, they crashed through the dome of the shell he'd built back up around himself, which had allowed him to separate from his emotions, dropping upon it like a bomb and blowing a gaping hole in it.
The reaction shot through him with a vengeance. Anger, fear, betrayal, hurt. He could see it in her eyes and her demeanor - she and Raito had also become physically involved.
"I'm sorry," she said, startling him momentarily when he thought she may have seen something given away in his face. "I'm not even sure why I'm asking you," she continued sheepishly, emphasizing the 'you' in a way that furthered his impression that she thought him lower in status than a bug. She was so dismissive in her manner when the truth peeked through the holes in her solicitous act. "But the two of you seemed friendly enough..." she added distractedly.
She shook her head then, dispelling the moment and affixing an affable smile to her face to cover, once again, her inadequacy. To ask something to which you did not know the answer, but should, is showing weakness. That she was now paired with Raito, yet did not know where he was... This was.... even more strange. It was nearly enough to shake the anguish that was threatening to crush him. All was not as it seemed. He would see this through before allowing himself to speculate further.
"Enough about me," she said, weaving her glamour around herself like a shield and waving the matter away with a dismissive hand. "Why are you here?" her tone, too, had been repaired and was nothing but pleasantly inquisitive.
"I'm meeting with Hal Lidner." L sensed an opportunity. "Do you know where her office is?" He might as well ask her instead of a random stranger. Besides, Hal would need to go to her meeting in not too much longer.
"I do." Misa perked up as she dutifully began giving him directions. Having information he wanted made her feel superior again, erasing her compromised status from before. "You know what? Nevermind," she interrupted herself. "Why don't I just take you there? I'd like to ask her something myself." There was something of a determined glint to her eye.
L would have preferred finding it on his own, but she obviously had her own agenda and was not asking his opinion on the matter.
He followed the petite blonde through the halls, noting that her social act (not to mention her appearance) got nearly as much attention as Raito's.
Again there was a sharp pain in his chest as his thoughts drifted over the brunet. I know she's attractive and all, but did you have to sleep with her? he asked the brunet in his head. Misa's high heels made a smart tapping upon the floor and her hair swished back and forth across her back like a shining curtain. He couldn't stop from applying the new knowledge he had - and he could nearly picture her and the brunet together, wearing nothing but bare skin, and it made him ill. Severely so. Raito would be smiling up at her with the sinful gaze he'd plied me with all those times...
"Here we are," Misa announced, turning to him smartly.
In his mind's eye, he watched again the time she'd visited Raito on his birthday, wearing hardly anything, and pressing her lips to his. He saw again how the brunet did not trouble himself to evade her advance.
He could barely recall Raito's spirited rants now about how much he couldn't stand her.
"Hello, Hal, how are you?" Misa was saying, having stepped inside the office while he was distracted.
"I'm fine," the other woman said from inside the room. "What can I do for you?"
"Not much for small talk, are you?" Misa said off-handedly. L could tell it was meant to be a criticism.
"No, I suppose not."
"You're direct and to the point," Misa said. "I like that." It was said with a smile in her voice but L could tell it was a lie. She was offended, but wanted to smooth Hal over so she could get something she wanted.
"Thank you, Miss Amane."
"You're welcome," Misa said warmly. "I'd better be going. I just dropped by to say hi. Oh, and you have a visitor." She poked her head out and waved L over.
Before reaching the doorway, he saw Misa pause, her hand on the frame. "Hal, one more thing - have you seen Raito?"
He heard the other woman say something to the contrary.
"Okay then, thank you." Misa was all bubbles and sunshine. L slanted a glance at her out of the corner of his eye as he stepped into the office and saw that her face had become closed and angry.
"Good afternoon, Hal," he said formally, not really knowing what else could be said. He wanted to ask about Raito as well, but he wondered if he really hoped to receive a different response.
"Hello, L, thank you for coming. Close the door and have a seat."
He did as he was bidden, and sat.
He stared dully at the blonde woman and waited for her to say or do something. He felt wretched. There was too much to take in, too much going on inside his head, all of it revolving around Raito. She was regarding him thoughtfully.
"You look horrible," she said amiably.
"Thank you," he responded sarcastically. "It's always nice to hear such flattery."
She smiled at him, her eyes twinkling. "That's the L I know and love." She propped her chin on her hand and looked a bit wistful. "It's a shame you'll be leaving us. We've hardly been able to talk."
"I do believe our longest conversation was when you were impersonating someone else," he offered.
She grinned, leaning back in her chair. "Oh, yes, that was enjoyable. Sometimes Raito does have good ideas."
Again, the brunet's name stung him. "Unfortunately, I need to keep this brief as well," L said, monitoring his expressions so as not to give anything away.
"You're right, there isn't much time." She rifled through some paperwork and produced a bundle which she gave to him. "I think Raito quit," she said softly, startling him. "He wanted to give you the option of leaving as well, since he was the one that brought you on. No one really knows yet."
Quit? As in, his last link with the brunet had been severed? His mind started racing and it was hard to speak evenly. "Why are you telling me this?" How would he contact Raito now? This was the last thing he'd had - the last open connection. Could she be wrong? She had to be wrong! If not, what was he supposed to do? Was Raito pulling completely out of his reach?
She scoffed at him. "I don't think he'd mind me telling you."
"Did he say anything to you?" Desperation was kept firmly out of his voice. There had to be something more to this - surely she knew something more and would be telling him any moment now--
"Nope. But that's just how he is."
His mind was like white static. She knew nothing? It was all speculation? "Then how do you know?" If Raito were to pull such a disappearing act, he was going to do it without leaving a trace and telling no one. But to what end? Why would he be doing this?
She'd picked up a pen and was tapping it against her lip as she watched him. "Raito is very meticulous. Maybe no one else has noticed it, but he's been tying up loose ends."
He's slipping through my fingers.
"Why didn't you tell Misa any of this?" Why would Hal tell him any of this and not Misa? He ground his teeth around what he had to ask next. He didn't want to, but he had to know for sure... "The two of them are dating again, are they not?" It burned in his throat, those words, but he got them out in a bland tone, just as he'd wanted.
She continued tapping the pen against her lip, a somewhat stormy expression brewing on her face. "Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. He doesn't even like her."
L felt a pensive frown slip over his face before he could stop it. Was that the sound of his world shattering in the background?
Hal caught the fleeting expression, her own becoming stricken. "He... didn't tell you, did he?" she said slowly, horrified. "That little bastard," she said with fire and regret. "He has no tact in that senseless head of his." Her blonde head was shaking back and forth, a hand raising to pinch the bridge of her nose, looking much like a parent whose beloved child had been caught doing something out of hand.
"I just found out, actually," he admitted, wondering why he was having trouble playing mum with this young woman. He wasn't in the habit of spilling his guts, yet he felt he was in danger of doing so. Good thing her meeting is in less than 5 minutes.
"From Misa??" Her pained look intensified, radiating concern for him. "Did she know you were involved with him?"
He shook his head and focused on looking like he was okay. He needed to dispel her sympathy before it made him break down. "It was an aside. She has no idea."
Hal looked at her watch and a slight scowl crossed her face. "Rats," she said regretfully. "I have to go." She gave him another long, good look, evaluating him while he maintained his I'm-ok mask, then came around the desk and gave him a brief hug where he sat in the chair. "Don't be a stranger," she said finally, in a way that conveyed her wish to comfort him somehow.
He was glad she didn't say something like 'Take care of yourself'. He didn't think he'd be able to withstand pity.
"Oh! I almost forgot." She reached over to the highly piled desk for something. "This was in your mailbox." Her manner was becoming that of a professional once more, disengaging from the empathy that was a little awkward between them. "I figured you probably wouldn't think to check it." She dropped a small envelope on top of the paperwork in his lap. "You can mail the stuff back when you're done with it, or you can bring it back by. Gotta run!" she ruffled his hair lightly, almost affectionately, before leaving her office at a steady clip. She was barely going to make her meeting on time, by the looks of it.
L sat motionless and detached for several minutes before he eventually picked up the curious little blank envelope. He was surprised to find it had some weight to it.
He flipped it over and the reverse was blank as well.
Opening it up, he found it was a key that gave the envelope its heft. There was nothing special about it. It was a brassy color and had been loose inside a folded piece of blank paper. Why would someone place this in my box? Who was it from? What was it for? Absently, he flattened the tri-folded piece of paper.
He started as he saw it was not blank at all. At the lower right corner was a small gothic 'L' drawn with nearly anal precision.
The 'L' blurred as his hands began to shake and his heart started pounding in his chest. Suddenly the paper and the key felt very different in his hands. They were a message from Raito.
He shouldn't be this affected - blood rushing so fast through his veins like quicksilver. He shouldn't feel this hopeful or anxious all at once, his stomach curling into knots even as his spirit lifted in expectation. But for the first time in a great while, he felt as if Raito were communicating to him directly -and only to him- touching his mind with the riddle he'd presented, as if words were unnecessary to convey what needed to be said. Like when they'd first met; it had begun with riddles and tests.
It was a level of communication that he'd only ever experienced with the brunet, and one that he found himself craving. Like a drug, the effects of it were skittering through his system and heightening it through the challenge presented. And a small part of him acknowledged the other emotion lurking beneath the others - the shuddering relief that that the brunet had arranged such a thing to find its way to him. It felt like it might be a forgiveness of this distance L had forced between them. Like receiving a candid gaze and an extended hand. Now he just had to discover the meaning.
He lifted the paper up, searching for something more, any clue as to the significance of the key, or its purpose.
The paper appeared wholly blank. He ran his fingertips over it, the smooth paper gliding underneath them. He flipped it over and did the same. Nothing. Except... Just at the bottom, there was a slightly raised texture.
Putting the employee separation paperwork and the envelope aside, he went to Hal's desk and searched for a pencil.
Drawer after drawer was bursting with files, paperwork and notes. He found some pens, but that wasn't what he needed. It had to be graphite.
He'd nearly given up when he found the stub of a pencil wedged in the corner of a lower drawer. It took some doing to pry it free but, with the assistance of a letter opener, he finally unearthed it. Luckily, it had a good point on it.
He turned the pencil on its side and ran the lead lightly over the ridges he'd felt on the paper. He was careful to keep the application even and patiently darkened it in successive passes.
What that revealed was letters and numbers. Backwards, of course, as the writing would have been pressed there from the front of the page. He glanced around the office and located a small mirror hanging upon an abbreviated wall. Holding the paper up to the reflective surface, he stared at the address he'd uncovered. Wako City. That was in the Saitama Prefecture, if he wasn't mistaken, just north of Tokyo.
Voices outside of the office made him shove the paper quickly into his pocket. There must be a reason Raito went to such lengths to make his message so ambiguous. The hidden address, the lack of message, the abstaining from leaving his name... The only clues to another party would be the scripted L and that the envelope had been left for him in his company mailbox. But the envelope did not appear tampered with and no one else would understand the meaning of the 'L'. Only he and Raito would know the reference to the same sort of 'L' which L had sloppily scribbled onto that first coaster at the bar, as well as the one Raito had beautifully crafted upon the back as a mockery.
If this packet had been intercepted, at most, the person might discover the address. But that was as unlikely as that same person going to great lengths to see who or what might be at that address.
L grabbed up the paperwork and the envelope and exited the office.
Raito had communicated with him. He still felt a rush of adrenaline over it. He still had a connection. The brunet had manifested one when all others had eventually closed off and dried up.
And the truly insane thing about it was... Raito had still managed not to violate L's request not to contact him in any way. A key and an address could hardly be seen as such. It was more of an invitation than anything else.
He could almost dismiss the news regarding Misa. At least for now. The main thing was that Raito was showing him deferential treatment and that all was not lost. If he discovered he still had any sort of footing with the brunet, then he could ask for an accounting, for explanations, and possibly even penance.
Oh, if I am given that chance, I may want to wring his neck.
It wasn't to say that the stabbing pangs in his chest over the infidelity had dissipated. They hadn't, and were still full force if he allowed himself to dwell upon the knowledge or wonder about the circumstances, the how, why and when of it. He grit his teeth and pushed it into the back of his mind, placing it under lock and key. It was counter-productive to let that information have free reign at this time. All it did was upset him, and upset was pointless at this stage. His goal at this time was merely to find this address, and possibly even Raito.
---
Misa trailed off in her conversation to one of the secretaries about shoes, and watched the detective L slouch down the hall from the direction of Hal's office.
He had a strange look on his face, not one she could place, but it looked like he might be up to something. Her eyes narrowed and she felt a pull to follow him. The pale, messy haired man looked incongruous with his surroundings and in fact looked discomfited by them. He did not speak to or make eye contact with anyone he passed.
"Miss Amane?"
Misa shushed and dismissed her with a lazy sweep of her hand, eyes locking onto her target. She fell into line with L, from a good enough distance that her heels would not be loud enough to be noticed. Partly she could control that from how she walked. Stepping down hard made a sharp, confident noise that was fantastic at getting people's attention and admiring gazes. It was like an announcement that someone important was coming through. But it was unnecessary just now. So she tread lightly and evaded much of the usual fanfare in favor of seeing what the eccentric looking detective was up to.
Why had Raito become friends with someone like him?
Raito didn't really do the friends thing in the first place. She couldn't think of a single other person he could claim as such. His standard behavior seemed to be expending all of his exceptional charm upon those he needed to win over or form alliances with for work, and then keeping to himself once the day was done and he could return home. She was the only exception there. Or, at least, she had been.
She fought to keep a scowl from forming on her face, cognizant of the role she held among the people here, and not wanting to spoil it.
It wasn't that she didn't want the brunet to have any friends. She had many herself. Friends could be useful.
It was just that... there was something about this particular friend, not to mention that this kind of relationship was unprecedented for Raito. It was a connection outside of work. And she'd seen for herself that he had even gone so far as to invite the detective over his parents' house on his birthday. She'd thought that was strange, but of course he'd had a perfectly plausible explanation. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was actually... jealous of this L character.
She glared covertly at the back of his head, wondering how his black, spiky hair managed to defy gravity to such an extent and how such a physical trait might be more appealing than her own sleek, light hair. It looked disorderly. Unprofessional. And it was also not particularly seductive. These things were important, weren't they?
Continuing her silent inspection of him, she did admit that he dressed pretty well, and that his almost anorexically thin frame actually worked for him. His eyes were dark and ridiculously huge, she remembered from speaking to him earlier. Ok, fine, so he has a few things going for him, but he is still inferior. Inferior and only a friend.
Argh. At times like this, she really wished she could claim that Raito would never become involved with someone of the same gender. But she couldn't, even if she wanted to, because she knew of several instances where it just wasn't so. She chewed at her lip. However, those times always stood to gain them something. So that didn't mean Raito would seek out such a thing in his personal time. It was probably only for work.
He was so dedicated.
Plus, it was me he was sleeping with not long ago, she thought at the back of L's head smugly. You wouldn't know the first thing about anything like that.
Of all the people she'd been with, Raito was the sexiest, most suave and perfect. It had really cramped her style when he'd decided to end things between them and she'd had to make due with that snot Ito. She'd only dated him to please Raito, whom she was convinced would come to his senses when he saw that she was indeed the best thing out there.
He was probably just having a case of nerves. Her father could lay on quite a lot of pressure. It was also no secret that both of them were interested in securing Raito for their family.
Misa had not been keen on the idea of getting pregnant in order to do it, so she ignored her father's instructions there. What did she want a baby for? Then she'd have to take care of it. Besides, it was laughable that her father thought such a trick would even be necessary. Who could possibly be more suited to the brunet than herself? And who would have as many useful connections as she did? He'd be a complete fool to pass all of that up. Not to mention the position her father was grooming him for.
Still, she couldn't pass off this agitation at not being able to reach Raito for several days. He owed her a backlog in dates, affection, sex, and plenty of other things that she fully planned on wringing from him now that they were back together again.
The sex had been as good as she'd remembered, the best, even though Raito had seemed a little odd. He'd smoothed her worries away with that sexy smile, assurances, and kisses that were hot enough to melt a girl. It was disappointing that he'd had to drop by his parents' house after. She was hoping that they could spend the night together, catching up on lost time, cuddling, and maybe even spending their passion once again. She was a little resentful that his parents had asked him to come by, but they were nice people so she couldn't hold it too much against them.
With a shock, Misa realized she had lost track of the detective.
Shit!
She was in the lobby, it teeming with people, and the oddball was nowhere in sight. Her eyes whipped left, right, searching, searching for that pale face and that shock of dark, unruly hair. How could I have lost him?? She pushed through the press of people and trotted up to the large glass doors, frantically scanning the visitor parking lot for him.
"Misa?" a calm, deep voice broke through her mounting hysteria.
She whipped around and felt relief at seeing the rugged profile before her. "Aibey!" Aiber she liked, just as much as she liked wrapping him around her finger or annoying him and seeing how much he could take and remain so stoic. He was also attractive and not bad at all in bed. "I need your help." She threw a pout onto her face. He seemed less able to deal with her when she acted like this, which is precisely why she did it. He was weak to the cutesy act.
A small muscle in his jaw twitched, but he merely said, "I'm at your service."
Misa felt a teeny bit guilty though, knowing how much of a chokehold her dear father had on this chiseled man. It wasn't like he could refuse her anything, even if he wanted to.
"I need to know where that detective L lives."
His striking, ice-blue eyes looked less than enthusiastic.
"You know where, don't you? Or you can find out for me? It should at least be in his employee file." She sidled up to him, all but batting her eyelashes. "Pleeease, Aibey?"
"What for?" he asked cautiously.
She was taken aback. Was he trying to bypass her authority? Was he actually questioning her??
Her expression hardened. "I need him followed. I believe he is in contact with Raito and might lead me to him, elusive as he is of late."
"So Yagami is trying to slip through your fingers, is he?"
Was that a trace of mockery she detected in his voice? She smiled at him, and it was not a friendly expression. "I hope you wouldn't be purposely trying to offend me, Aibey," the nickname came out harsh and cutting. "It might not sit well with you later on." His deal with her father was to do as he was told, keep her happy, and be a good little lackey.
Something ugly flickered in his eyes, almost too quickly to be detected. Just after, his expression smoothed and whipped into the consummate playboy look that she found so appealing. "Can I help it if I'm jealous?"
That actually startled her. "So you knew--"
He took her small hand and brought it to his lips, eyes not leaving hers, and placed a kiss upon it. "Word travels fast when you are in the business of knowing things. I may look like this, but I am a detective through and through."
She spared him a real smile, flattered that he was this preoccupied with her comings and goings as to have already known about her and Raito, and that he was regarding her with such an intense look and jealousy. It made her feel positively buoyant to have men pining for her. It solidified her high opinion of herself and made her more confident that she was not in danger of losing Raito. It didn't completely erase her unease or distrust, however, so she would still pursue this.
"Do this for me?" she wheedled, pressing close to him. "I'll make it worth your while..."
Hmn. It was possible that Aiber was wondering what would happen to him if Raito fully reclaimed his position at her side. He needn't worry that much. She wouldn't let her father toss him back. He was much more useful here, and besides, it would be such a waste to let this handsome man rot in a cell just for foolishly crossing her Raito.
She stood on her toes and brushed a lingering kiss to his mouth, closing her eyes as she breathed in his deliciously expensive cologne. "It won't compromise your standing, I promise," she murmured. "And I am not so quick as all of that to push you from my bed."
---
L had noticed his tail just before reaching the atrium of Raito's office building. There had been precious few in the halls at that moment, and he determined that the soft clicks of someone's shoes were, in fact, keeping pace with him.
He scanned the crowd, finding someone who would look even passably like him, with the same color clothing. His stalker struck him as being distracted, so this should work. He beelined for the dark-haired man he'd picked out, overtaking him just as they were almost in line with the side hallway. L slipped in front of him as the man walked toward the parking lot, then past, shielded by a thick grove of feminine workers who were clogging the flow of foot traffic. He blessed them for their inconsideration.
Safely around the corner now, he pressed up against the wall, took a slow breath, and peeked out carefully to see who his pursuer happened to be. He wasn't sure if he was surprised that it was none other than Misa Amane scanning the crowd helplessly, tossing her head back and forth as she failed to locate him. Frustration etched her features as she pushed past people to get to the door where she expected him to have gone. Her eyes were scanning the parking lot, scouring it relentlessly, long past the time it would have taken him to walk out of view en route to the train station.
It was kind of funny that she assumed he had a car. He didn't even drive.
Before his luck ran out, he'd better make himself scarce. If she happened to glance to her left, he would be in full view. He wondered if this hallway connected to the outside, or if it was a dead end.
Before he could move a muscle, he was startled to see Aiber morph out of the crowd. Misa turned to him in appeal, and that was when L realized he had quite a bit of a problem on his hands. Aiber knew where he lived. If Misa was set on following him, with Aiber's help she could take this much further.
If she tailed him to his house, she could conceivably tail him to the address Raito had given him, which the brunet had taken pains to keep from being connected to himself.
Unless... Well, who was he to say that Misa didn't already know about the address?
He kept his eyes on the blond pair, and inched further down the hall. It was better to err on the side of caution. If Misa knew about the address, it was better to have taken precautions and find that out from Raito himself. If she didn't, and he ended up being followed... that would be unfortunate. He could just see the brunet scoffing at him in annoyance. Then, of course, Misa would be able to spring up at any time. Possibly launching herself into Raito's arms even as he stood there, and L was pretty sure at this point he would be a breath away from ripping her off by her hair.
Shaking his head to clear the thought from it, he carefully leaned forward, just far enough to see if the pair was still occupying his escape route. This hall only had 3 doors, two of them being restrooms, and the other looked like a storage closet. The front doors were the only way out.
Aiber and Misa seemed to have moved on. He crept back up the hall, still cautious, scanning each face and every detail, not wanting to miss them by accident and then step into a mess of his own doing. Still nothing. He was at the edge of the hall now, toes nearly an inch into no-man's land as he did his last check. All looked clear.
He composed himself, then slipped out of the hallway as if he hadn't been using it just to hide. His nerves jangled, being in plain view, and he wondered if the place had security cameras and if either Misa or Aiber would think to check them. But that wouldn't help them so much as if they had hidden in turn and were watching him at this very moment.
The heavy glass doors gave way beneath his hand and he wondered if it wouldn't be prudent to go straight to the address Raito had given him. If he returned home first, there was a greater chance of picking up a tail. Unless, of course, he already had one, then he would be leading then straight there.
---
Aiber moved out from the shadowed alcove in the atrium, light eyes intense as they tracked the other detective who still haunted his thoughts.
A humorless smile touched his lips as he watched the dark-haired man slip out from his hiding place, as cautious as a small prey animal. Scanning. Scanning. Deeming the coast to be clear. He'd guessed from Misa that L had given her the slip, fully aware that she was trailing after him. Whereas she was convinced she'd merely lost track of him.
I know you well enough, he thought at the other.
L didn't sleep long. Maybe two hours.
The promise of solace was rather anticlimactic if he did say so himself. He dragged himself out of bed, feeling like hell, but knowing further sleep would be impossible.
A shower was necessary. Filthy rain water wasn't something he wanted to luxuriate in by leaving it indefinitely upon his person.
Grabbing more clean clothes, he headed to the bathroom. Why didn't I shower first? he wondered with irritation. Now he would have to clean the sheets yet again.
He made quick work of showering, dressed in clothes nearly identical to the ones he'd been wearing before, only this time he put on the jeans. Damp hair dripped in his face, which he ignored as he sat in front of his computer, trying to achieve the mental state that would allow him to process facts and trends and decipher the secrets that lay waiting to be discovered with regard to his current cases.
He felt punchy and a little woozy, as if he really needed more sleep.
Ridiculous.
The real problem was that he'd been slowly losing his ability to hyper focus. It had been slipping away from him the past few weeks. He needed to get back into the groove. He needed to block out everything that was not pertinent to a case. He needed to erase the presence of people, erase his tracking of day and night and time, erase the need for food and drink. All that he needed was in front of him: pixels of light, the keys beneath his pale, spidery hands, the facts that he accumulated, and the speculations that formed from his probing thoughts.
Finally, finally, he felt himself slipping into it.
Like jumping into a pool of water, he felt the cool submersion into purely analytical thought surround him, and he embraced it. Interpersonal issues, emotions and other such superfluous things fell away and he was free again. Unfettered. Aseptic. Purposeful. Calm.
L worked in a near manic state for hours. How many, he wasn't sure.
The only thing that had broken the trance was Watari knocking softly and opening the door. L registered the intrusion with some distant part of his mind, but he did not allow it to break his focus nor interrupt the punishingly fast cadence of his fingers upon the keyboard. Dimly, he was aware that the older man was asking him something about food. He nodded and Watari left.
Some time later, a plate of food was placed before him. He mumbled a thank you as he ran another background check on the Yotsuba client. Interesting...
He pushed the food aside and began typing again in earnest.
--
A muffled, yet insistent noise called L's attention to it. He was loath to be interrupted, but the mechanical chirping of his phone was not something to be ignored. He'd trained himself that way by necessity - it was one of the few things that could break the spell when he was really engrossed in his work.
He cursed softly in distracted irritation as he realized the phone was not within reach. His mind remained firmly glued in his case even as he got up to search for the source of the disturbance. It was as if his mind was wired into the computer. The further away he got, the stronger the pull.
He found the shiny red phone eventually, but it had stopped ringing.
He flipped it open with disinterest and saw the missed call and an alert that a voicemail had been received. It was no number he recognized.
Instead of calling the person back, he started playing the voicemail so he could see if this was something that needed to be dealt with urgently or whether he could put it off as he would have liked.
'Hello, L, this is Hal Lidner. I need to speak with you regarding your employment with us. Please call me back at your earliest convenience. I promise it will be brief.'
L was tempted to file the call under 'deal with later', but he had the niggling feeling that he should just take care of this now. Besides, he was a little curious as to what Hal wished to discuss. He supposed it could be about some case or other they needed him to look into. Aiber may be one of their detectives, but it seemed as though the blond was not being utilized in that capacity any longer. It was just a guess however, judging by the acquaintance he kept with Misa, the tiny bits of information he'd gleaned from Raito's conversation that day at the office as they'd all stood in the break room, and the social engagement he'd witnessed at the restaurant last night. Aiber was being groomed for a higher position than 'detective'. Perhaps something approaching the brunet's standing.
L called the number back. At least I won't have to play telephone tag if I call back right away, he thought, looking on the bright side. Then I can get back to--
"Lidner," a female voice stated with the sound of shuffling papers in the background.
"This is L," he said simply. "You called?" He appreciated her lack of 'polite', meaningless small talk. Filler wasted time and breath.
"L, hi," Hal said in a warmer tone, as if she liked him. Which, he supposed, she might. Well, according to Raito, not to mention his own observations. "I'm sorry to bother you when you're probably working, but I need you to come by the office."
Leaving the house was the last thing L felt inclined to do.
"What for?" he asked.
"Well, I have the paperwork ready for your termination of contract, but you'll need to come in to sign it."
L said nothing for a minute or two, trying to process such an unexpected thing. Termination? He'd yet to work on a single case. Not that he wanted or needed to have a second job, but Raito had for some reason deemed it necessary... "I did not request such a thing," he said quizzically.
"Raito thought you might want to end your employment and asked me to make preparations."
L blinked, feeling as if cold water had been splashed in his face. Why now? After all his protestations, and Raito's ignoring of such, why was he now being told that he could quit?
A thread of discord began creeping into his sterile, emotionless world. A seemingly innocuous strand that would surely compromise the future of his hard won composure. It was a thin streak of color in his monochromatic world. Dangerous.
"Why would I want to do that?" he asked in an inflectionless voice.
"It's not my place to speculate," she said. "You are merely being given the option."
Was Raito cutting him loose? Was he distancing himself? Was this just another sign that their own relationship, not just as employee and employer, was at an end? Or could this be seen as something positive? Was Raito trying to make amends by allowing him to free himself from the job he'd never wanted?
The more the name Raito arose, the more he felt stress cracks forming in the buffering shell he'd reconstructed around himself. The lockbox he'd shoved memories of the brunet into was starting to open and anxiety was pouring from its maw like tendrils of heavy fog. It sullied his fortress, and it crept across the floor, seeking him.
"Is Raito there? Can I speak to him?"
He needed to lay this to rest, one way or another, and there was only one person who could do that for him. Unfortunately, that person was hard to get a hold of these days. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of calling the office before. Of course Raito would be at work--
"I'm sorry, he hasn't come in today."
Strange. It was so very strange. First the phone and now this. Granted, he hadn't tried calling the brunet again today to see if the message was the same... but if it was, there was a possibility he could find out something at the office.
It was 11:30 a.m.
"What time should I come in?" he asked her.
"Whenever you like. I'll be here." There was a brief pause and the sound of pages of paper being turned. "Oh, but I do have a meeting at 4:30, so you might want to come before then."
"I'm in the middle of something at the moment, but I'm sure I can make that."
---
L arrived at the office building around 4 p.m. He felt tired, as was evidenced by the darkened bruises under his eyes and was not in the mood to be doing this right now. After he'd spoken with Hal, he'd had trouble picking up where he'd left off on the case, his thread of concentration having been severed. He'd stubbornly fought to regain it, but had only made real progress for a very short time.
He didn't like this place with its echoing halls and artificiality. People glided through the building with purpose, fake expressions, and resounding hollowness.
He'd dressed the part, so they paid him no mind.
He wouldn't have it any other way.
It also helped that he minded his poor posture and also kept a neutral expression on his face. It was a different permutation of his poker face, but one that had been serving him well in more social venues. People's eyes caught on to true blankness, but having a trace of an expression, any expression at all, let their eyes slide past.
This place... it felt so different being here without the brunet at his side. And it was nearly surreal, the way his mind was extending outward, probing as if he could find Raito through the maze and walls of it with mere thought, yet he knew that the person he sought was not present. There was a flavor like disappointment on his tongue and a frown threatened to mar the mask he wore.
Hal. Maybe she knew something. And even if she was not inclined to share, he ought to be able to gain some insight from being face-to-face with her. Expressions and body language usually carried a wealth of information.
Purpose allowed him to move among the people without dwelling too much upon them. Without a goal in mind, the influx of humanity was likely to have made him feel claustrophobic and put-upon. He would be more focused on them, their assessments of him, and the idea that they expected him to do something if they stared at him hard enough.
His stride slowed as he realized he did not know exactly where Hal's office was. This was the correct floor, he was sure, but... He looked at the branching hallway. Was it left? Or was it right? It had only been pointed out to him once, in passing, with a generalized wave of a hand instead of a pointed finger, so it was not entirely useful or specific.
"Hey. You-" someone called out.
They could have been speaking to anyone, but he knew that feminine voice. Misa. He wasn't sure she was speaking to him, however. He decided not to check and kept walking.
"You--" her voice sounded closer, and falsely congenial. "L, isn't it?"
Damnit. His feet slowed to a reluctant stop. Just her voice was enough to put him on edge and flashed countless scenes upon his eyes. If he ever heard or saw her again, it would be too soon. She was the epitome of falsehood.
"Yes?"
He turned to meet her and was struck again by the shine of golden hair and clear, sparkling blue eyes. Their appearances were polar opposites. And she almost seemed to regard him as some kind of lowly bug. She wasn't obvious about it as she stood before him in a puff-sleeved mulberry colored skirt suit that fit her like a glove, but he caught it in the random downward quirks at the corners of her smiling mouth.
She renewed that smile, ratcheting it up with blinding intensity, before asking, "Have you spoken to Raito recently?"
He felt a frown form on his face. Odd. Why would she ask me that? He could tell by her manner that she was not rubbing anything in, she really was asking him. The bright smile was hiding her irritation and embarrassment at having to do so.
Then perhaps she hadn't successfully seen Raito the other night?
"I have not," he responded simply.
Visibly, she seemed to deflate and a little frustration crept into her expression. "And I suppose you wouldn't know where he is either?"
He shook his head to indicate he did not.
A frown blossomed on her refined, cherubic features. "Where could he be?" she said under her breath, her eyes flicking around the immediate area as if Raito might be hiding in plain view. "And after we just got back together..." she pouted.
Those words hit L like a punch to the gut.
In fact, they crashed through the dome of the shell he'd built back up around himself, which had allowed him to separate from his emotions, dropping upon it like a bomb and blowing a gaping hole in it.
The reaction shot through him with a vengeance. Anger, fear, betrayal, hurt. He could see it in her eyes and her demeanor - she and Raito had also become physically involved.
"I'm sorry," she said, startling him momentarily when he thought she may have seen something given away in his face. "I'm not even sure why I'm asking you," she continued sheepishly, emphasizing the 'you' in a way that furthered his impression that she thought him lower in status than a bug. She was so dismissive in her manner when the truth peeked through the holes in her solicitous act. "But the two of you seemed friendly enough..." she added distractedly.
She shook her head then, dispelling the moment and affixing an affable smile to her face to cover, once again, her inadequacy. To ask something to which you did not know the answer, but should, is showing weakness. That she was now paired with Raito, yet did not know where he was... This was.... even more strange. It was nearly enough to shake the anguish that was threatening to crush him. All was not as it seemed. He would see this through before allowing himself to speculate further.
"Enough about me," she said, weaving her glamour around herself like a shield and waving the matter away with a dismissive hand. "Why are you here?" her tone, too, had been repaired and was nothing but pleasantly inquisitive.
"I'm meeting with Hal Lidner." L sensed an opportunity. "Do you know where her office is?" He might as well ask her instead of a random stranger. Besides, Hal would need to go to her meeting in not too much longer.
"I do." Misa perked up as she dutifully began giving him directions. Having information he wanted made her feel superior again, erasing her compromised status from before. "You know what? Nevermind," she interrupted herself. "Why don't I just take you there? I'd like to ask her something myself." There was something of a determined glint to her eye.
L would have preferred finding it on his own, but she obviously had her own agenda and was not asking his opinion on the matter.
He followed the petite blonde through the halls, noting that her social act (not to mention her appearance) got nearly as much attention as Raito's.
Again there was a sharp pain in his chest as his thoughts drifted over the brunet. I know she's attractive and all, but did you have to sleep with her? he asked the brunet in his head. Misa's high heels made a smart tapping upon the floor and her hair swished back and forth across her back like a shining curtain. He couldn't stop from applying the new knowledge he had - and he could nearly picture her and the brunet together, wearing nothing but bare skin, and it made him ill. Severely so. Raito would be smiling up at her with the sinful gaze he'd plied me with all those times...
"Here we are," Misa announced, turning to him smartly.
In his mind's eye, he watched again the time she'd visited Raito on his birthday, wearing hardly anything, and pressing her lips to his. He saw again how the brunet did not trouble himself to evade her advance.
He could barely recall Raito's spirited rants now about how much he couldn't stand her.
"Hello, Hal, how are you?" Misa was saying, having stepped inside the office while he was distracted.
"I'm fine," the other woman said from inside the room. "What can I do for you?"
"Not much for small talk, are you?" Misa said off-handedly. L could tell it was meant to be a criticism.
"No, I suppose not."
"You're direct and to the point," Misa said. "I like that." It was said with a smile in her voice but L could tell it was a lie. She was offended, but wanted to smooth Hal over so she could get something she wanted.
"Thank you, Miss Amane."
"You're welcome," Misa said warmly. "I'd better be going. I just dropped by to say hi. Oh, and you have a visitor." She poked her head out and waved L over.
Before reaching the doorway, he saw Misa pause, her hand on the frame. "Hal, one more thing - have you seen Raito?"
He heard the other woman say something to the contrary.
"Okay then, thank you." Misa was all bubbles and sunshine. L slanted a glance at her out of the corner of his eye as he stepped into the office and saw that her face had become closed and angry.
"Good afternoon, Hal," he said formally, not really knowing what else could be said. He wanted to ask about Raito as well, but he wondered if he really hoped to receive a different response.
"Hello, L, thank you for coming. Close the door and have a seat."
He did as he was bidden, and sat.
He stared dully at the blonde woman and waited for her to say or do something. He felt wretched. There was too much to take in, too much going on inside his head, all of it revolving around Raito. She was regarding him thoughtfully.
"You look horrible," she said amiably.
"Thank you," he responded sarcastically. "It's always nice to hear such flattery."
She smiled at him, her eyes twinkling. "That's the L I know and love." She propped her chin on her hand and looked a bit wistful. "It's a shame you'll be leaving us. We've hardly been able to talk."
"I do believe our longest conversation was when you were impersonating someone else," he offered.
She grinned, leaning back in her chair. "Oh, yes, that was enjoyable. Sometimes Raito does have good ideas."
Again, the brunet's name stung him. "Unfortunately, I need to keep this brief as well," L said, monitoring his expressions so as not to give anything away.
"You're right, there isn't much time." She rifled through some paperwork and produced a bundle which she gave to him. "I think Raito quit," she said softly, startling him. "He wanted to give you the option of leaving as well, since he was the one that brought you on. No one really knows yet."
Quit? As in, his last link with the brunet had been severed? His mind started racing and it was hard to speak evenly. "Why are you telling me this?" How would he contact Raito now? This was the last thing he'd had - the last open connection. Could she be wrong? She had to be wrong! If not, what was he supposed to do? Was Raito pulling completely out of his reach?
She scoffed at him. "I don't think he'd mind me telling you."
"Did he say anything to you?" Desperation was kept firmly out of his voice. There had to be something more to this - surely she knew something more and would be telling him any moment now--
"Nope. But that's just how he is."
His mind was like white static. She knew nothing? It was all speculation? "Then how do you know?" If Raito were to pull such a disappearing act, he was going to do it without leaving a trace and telling no one. But to what end? Why would he be doing this?
She'd picked up a pen and was tapping it against her lip as she watched him. "Raito is very meticulous. Maybe no one else has noticed it, but he's been tying up loose ends."
He's slipping through my fingers.
"Why didn't you tell Misa any of this?" Why would Hal tell him any of this and not Misa? He ground his teeth around what he had to ask next. He didn't want to, but he had to know for sure... "The two of them are dating again, are they not?" It burned in his throat, those words, but he got them out in a bland tone, just as he'd wanted.
She continued tapping the pen against her lip, a somewhat stormy expression brewing on her face. "Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. He doesn't even like her."
L felt a pensive frown slip over his face before he could stop it. Was that the sound of his world shattering in the background?
Hal caught the fleeting expression, her own becoming stricken. "He... didn't tell you, did he?" she said slowly, horrified. "That little bastard," she said with fire and regret. "He has no tact in that senseless head of his." Her blonde head was shaking back and forth, a hand raising to pinch the bridge of her nose, looking much like a parent whose beloved child had been caught doing something out of hand.
"I just found out, actually," he admitted, wondering why he was having trouble playing mum with this young woman. He wasn't in the habit of spilling his guts, yet he felt he was in danger of doing so. Good thing her meeting is in less than 5 minutes.
"From Misa??" Her pained look intensified, radiating concern for him. "Did she know you were involved with him?"
He shook his head and focused on looking like he was okay. He needed to dispel her sympathy before it made him break down. "It was an aside. She has no idea."
Hal looked at her watch and a slight scowl crossed her face. "Rats," she said regretfully. "I have to go." She gave him another long, good look, evaluating him while he maintained his I'm-ok mask, then came around the desk and gave him a brief hug where he sat in the chair. "Don't be a stranger," she said finally, in a way that conveyed her wish to comfort him somehow.
He was glad she didn't say something like 'Take care of yourself'. He didn't think he'd be able to withstand pity.
"Oh! I almost forgot." She reached over to the highly piled desk for something. "This was in your mailbox." Her manner was becoming that of a professional once more, disengaging from the empathy that was a little awkward between them. "I figured you probably wouldn't think to check it." She dropped a small envelope on top of the paperwork in his lap. "You can mail the stuff back when you're done with it, or you can bring it back by. Gotta run!" she ruffled his hair lightly, almost affectionately, before leaving her office at a steady clip. She was barely going to make her meeting on time, by the looks of it.
L sat motionless and detached for several minutes before he eventually picked up the curious little blank envelope. He was surprised to find it had some weight to it.
He flipped it over and the reverse was blank as well.
Opening it up, he found it was a key that gave the envelope its heft. There was nothing special about it. It was a brassy color and had been loose inside a folded piece of blank paper. Why would someone place this in my box? Who was it from? What was it for? Absently, he flattened the tri-folded piece of paper.
He started as he saw it was not blank at all. At the lower right corner was a small gothic 'L' drawn with nearly anal precision.
The 'L' blurred as his hands began to shake and his heart started pounding in his chest. Suddenly the paper and the key felt very different in his hands. They were a message from Raito.
He shouldn't be this affected - blood rushing so fast through his veins like quicksilver. He shouldn't feel this hopeful or anxious all at once, his stomach curling into knots even as his spirit lifted in expectation. But for the first time in a great while, he felt as if Raito were communicating to him directly -and only to him- touching his mind with the riddle he'd presented, as if words were unnecessary to convey what needed to be said. Like when they'd first met; it had begun with riddles and tests.
It was a level of communication that he'd only ever experienced with the brunet, and one that he found himself craving. Like a drug, the effects of it were skittering through his system and heightening it through the challenge presented. And a small part of him acknowledged the other emotion lurking beneath the others - the shuddering relief that that the brunet had arranged such a thing to find its way to him. It felt like it might be a forgiveness of this distance L had forced between them. Like receiving a candid gaze and an extended hand. Now he just had to discover the meaning.
He lifted the paper up, searching for something more, any clue as to the significance of the key, or its purpose.
The paper appeared wholly blank. He ran his fingertips over it, the smooth paper gliding underneath them. He flipped it over and did the same. Nothing. Except... Just at the bottom, there was a slightly raised texture.
Putting the employee separation paperwork and the envelope aside, he went to Hal's desk and searched for a pencil.
Drawer after drawer was bursting with files, paperwork and notes. He found some pens, but that wasn't what he needed. It had to be graphite.
He'd nearly given up when he found the stub of a pencil wedged in the corner of a lower drawer. It took some doing to pry it free but, with the assistance of a letter opener, he finally unearthed it. Luckily, it had a good point on it.
He turned the pencil on its side and ran the lead lightly over the ridges he'd felt on the paper. He was careful to keep the application even and patiently darkened it in successive passes.
What that revealed was letters and numbers. Backwards, of course, as the writing would have been pressed there from the front of the page. He glanced around the office and located a small mirror hanging upon an abbreviated wall. Holding the paper up to the reflective surface, he stared at the address he'd uncovered. Wako City. That was in the Saitama Prefecture, if he wasn't mistaken, just north of Tokyo.
Voices outside of the office made him shove the paper quickly into his pocket. There must be a reason Raito went to such lengths to make his message so ambiguous. The hidden address, the lack of message, the abstaining from leaving his name... The only clues to another party would be the scripted L and that the envelope had been left for him in his company mailbox. But the envelope did not appear tampered with and no one else would understand the meaning of the 'L'. Only he and Raito would know the reference to the same sort of 'L' which L had sloppily scribbled onto that first coaster at the bar, as well as the one Raito had beautifully crafted upon the back as a mockery.
If this packet had been intercepted, at most, the person might discover the address. But that was as unlikely as that same person going to great lengths to see who or what might be at that address.
L grabbed up the paperwork and the envelope and exited the office.
Raito had communicated with him. He still felt a rush of adrenaline over it. He still had a connection. The brunet had manifested one when all others had eventually closed off and dried up.
And the truly insane thing about it was... Raito had still managed not to violate L's request not to contact him in any way. A key and an address could hardly be seen as such. It was more of an invitation than anything else.
He could almost dismiss the news regarding Misa. At least for now. The main thing was that Raito was showing him deferential treatment and that all was not lost. If he discovered he still had any sort of footing with the brunet, then he could ask for an accounting, for explanations, and possibly even penance.
Oh, if I am given that chance, I may want to wring his neck.
It wasn't to say that the stabbing pangs in his chest over the infidelity had dissipated. They hadn't, and were still full force if he allowed himself to dwell upon the knowledge or wonder about the circumstances, the how, why and when of it. He grit his teeth and pushed it into the back of his mind, placing it under lock and key. It was counter-productive to let that information have free reign at this time. All it did was upset him, and upset was pointless at this stage. His goal at this time was merely to find this address, and possibly even Raito.
---
Misa trailed off in her conversation to one of the secretaries about shoes, and watched the detective L slouch down the hall from the direction of Hal's office.
He had a strange look on his face, not one she could place, but it looked like he might be up to something. Her eyes narrowed and she felt a pull to follow him. The pale, messy haired man looked incongruous with his surroundings and in fact looked discomfited by them. He did not speak to or make eye contact with anyone he passed.
"Miss Amane?"
Misa shushed and dismissed her with a lazy sweep of her hand, eyes locking onto her target. She fell into line with L, from a good enough distance that her heels would not be loud enough to be noticed. Partly she could control that from how she walked. Stepping down hard made a sharp, confident noise that was fantastic at getting people's attention and admiring gazes. It was like an announcement that someone important was coming through. But it was unnecessary just now. So she tread lightly and evaded much of the usual fanfare in favor of seeing what the eccentric looking detective was up to.
Why had Raito become friends with someone like him?
Raito didn't really do the friends thing in the first place. She couldn't think of a single other person he could claim as such. His standard behavior seemed to be expending all of his exceptional charm upon those he needed to win over or form alliances with for work, and then keeping to himself once the day was done and he could return home. She was the only exception there. Or, at least, she had been.
She fought to keep a scowl from forming on her face, cognizant of the role she held among the people here, and not wanting to spoil it.
It wasn't that she didn't want the brunet to have any friends. She had many herself. Friends could be useful.
It was just that... there was something about this particular friend, not to mention that this kind of relationship was unprecedented for Raito. It was a connection outside of work. And she'd seen for herself that he had even gone so far as to invite the detective over his parents' house on his birthday. She'd thought that was strange, but of course he'd had a perfectly plausible explanation. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was actually... jealous of this L character.
She glared covertly at the back of his head, wondering how his black, spiky hair managed to defy gravity to such an extent and how such a physical trait might be more appealing than her own sleek, light hair. It looked disorderly. Unprofessional. And it was also not particularly seductive. These things were important, weren't they?
Continuing her silent inspection of him, she did admit that he dressed pretty well, and that his almost anorexically thin frame actually worked for him. His eyes were dark and ridiculously huge, she remembered from speaking to him earlier. Ok, fine, so he has a few things going for him, but he is still inferior. Inferior and only a friend.
Argh. At times like this, she really wished she could claim that Raito would never become involved with someone of the same gender. But she couldn't, even if she wanted to, because she knew of several instances where it just wasn't so. She chewed at her lip. However, those times always stood to gain them something. So that didn't mean Raito would seek out such a thing in his personal time. It was probably only for work.
He was so dedicated.
Plus, it was me he was sleeping with not long ago, she thought at the back of L's head smugly. You wouldn't know the first thing about anything like that.
Of all the people she'd been with, Raito was the sexiest, most suave and perfect. It had really cramped her style when he'd decided to end things between them and she'd had to make due with that snot Ito. She'd only dated him to please Raito, whom she was convinced would come to his senses when he saw that she was indeed the best thing out there.
He was probably just having a case of nerves. Her father could lay on quite a lot of pressure. It was also no secret that both of them were interested in securing Raito for their family.
Misa had not been keen on the idea of getting pregnant in order to do it, so she ignored her father's instructions there. What did she want a baby for? Then she'd have to take care of it. Besides, it was laughable that her father thought such a trick would even be necessary. Who could possibly be more suited to the brunet than herself? And who would have as many useful connections as she did? He'd be a complete fool to pass all of that up. Not to mention the position her father was grooming him for.
Still, she couldn't pass off this agitation at not being able to reach Raito for several days. He owed her a backlog in dates, affection, sex, and plenty of other things that she fully planned on wringing from him now that they were back together again.
The sex had been as good as she'd remembered, the best, even though Raito had seemed a little odd. He'd smoothed her worries away with that sexy smile, assurances, and kisses that were hot enough to melt a girl. It was disappointing that he'd had to drop by his parents' house after. She was hoping that they could spend the night together, catching up on lost time, cuddling, and maybe even spending their passion once again. She was a little resentful that his parents had asked him to come by, but they were nice people so she couldn't hold it too much against them.
With a shock, Misa realized she had lost track of the detective.
Shit!
She was in the lobby, it teeming with people, and the oddball was nowhere in sight. Her eyes whipped left, right, searching, searching for that pale face and that shock of dark, unruly hair. How could I have lost him?? She pushed through the press of people and trotted up to the large glass doors, frantically scanning the visitor parking lot for him.
"Misa?" a calm, deep voice broke through her mounting hysteria.
She whipped around and felt relief at seeing the rugged profile before her. "Aibey!" Aiber she liked, just as much as she liked wrapping him around her finger or annoying him and seeing how much he could take and remain so stoic. He was also attractive and not bad at all in bed. "I need your help." She threw a pout onto her face. He seemed less able to deal with her when she acted like this, which is precisely why she did it. He was weak to the cutesy act.
A small muscle in his jaw twitched, but he merely said, "I'm at your service."
Misa felt a teeny bit guilty though, knowing how much of a chokehold her dear father had on this chiseled man. It wasn't like he could refuse her anything, even if he wanted to.
"I need to know where that detective L lives."
His striking, ice-blue eyes looked less than enthusiastic.
"You know where, don't you? Or you can find out for me? It should at least be in his employee file." She sidled up to him, all but batting her eyelashes. "Pleeease, Aibey?"
"What for?" he asked cautiously.
She was taken aback. Was he trying to bypass her authority? Was he actually questioning her??
Her expression hardened. "I need him followed. I believe he is in contact with Raito and might lead me to him, elusive as he is of late."
"So Yagami is trying to slip through your fingers, is he?"
Was that a trace of mockery she detected in his voice? She smiled at him, and it was not a friendly expression. "I hope you wouldn't be purposely trying to offend me, Aibey," the nickname came out harsh and cutting. "It might not sit well with you later on." His deal with her father was to do as he was told, keep her happy, and be a good little lackey.
Something ugly flickered in his eyes, almost too quickly to be detected. Just after, his expression smoothed and whipped into the consummate playboy look that she found so appealing. "Can I help it if I'm jealous?"
That actually startled her. "So you knew--"
He took her small hand and brought it to his lips, eyes not leaving hers, and placed a kiss upon it. "Word travels fast when you are in the business of knowing things. I may look like this, but I am a detective through and through."
She spared him a real smile, flattered that he was this preoccupied with her comings and goings as to have already known about her and Raito, and that he was regarding her with such an intense look and jealousy. It made her feel positively buoyant to have men pining for her. It solidified her high opinion of herself and made her more confident that she was not in danger of losing Raito. It didn't completely erase her unease or distrust, however, so she would still pursue this.
"Do this for me?" she wheedled, pressing close to him. "I'll make it worth your while..."
Hmn. It was possible that Aiber was wondering what would happen to him if Raito fully reclaimed his position at her side. He needn't worry that much. She wouldn't let her father toss him back. He was much more useful here, and besides, it would be such a waste to let this handsome man rot in a cell just for foolishly crossing her Raito.
She stood on her toes and brushed a lingering kiss to his mouth, closing her eyes as she breathed in his deliciously expensive cologne. "It won't compromise your standing, I promise," she murmured. "And I am not so quick as all of that to push you from my bed."
---
L had noticed his tail just before reaching the atrium of Raito's office building. There had been precious few in the halls at that moment, and he determined that the soft clicks of someone's shoes were, in fact, keeping pace with him.
He scanned the crowd, finding someone who would look even passably like him, with the same color clothing. His stalker struck him as being distracted, so this should work. He beelined for the dark-haired man he'd picked out, overtaking him just as they were almost in line with the side hallway. L slipped in front of him as the man walked toward the parking lot, then past, shielded by a thick grove of feminine workers who were clogging the flow of foot traffic. He blessed them for their inconsideration.
Safely around the corner now, he pressed up against the wall, took a slow breath, and peeked out carefully to see who his pursuer happened to be. He wasn't sure if he was surprised that it was none other than Misa Amane scanning the crowd helplessly, tossing her head back and forth as she failed to locate him. Frustration etched her features as she pushed past people to get to the door where she expected him to have gone. Her eyes were scanning the parking lot, scouring it relentlessly, long past the time it would have taken him to walk out of view en route to the train station.
It was kind of funny that she assumed he had a car. He didn't even drive.
Before his luck ran out, he'd better make himself scarce. If she happened to glance to her left, he would be in full view. He wondered if this hallway connected to the outside, or if it was a dead end.
Before he could move a muscle, he was startled to see Aiber morph out of the crowd. Misa turned to him in appeal, and that was when L realized he had quite a bit of a problem on his hands. Aiber knew where he lived. If Misa was set on following him, with Aiber's help she could take this much further.
If she tailed him to his house, she could conceivably tail him to the address Raito had given him, which the brunet had taken pains to keep from being connected to himself.
Unless... Well, who was he to say that Misa didn't already know about the address?
He kept his eyes on the blond pair, and inched further down the hall. It was better to err on the side of caution. If Misa knew about the address, it was better to have taken precautions and find that out from Raito himself. If she didn't, and he ended up being followed... that would be unfortunate. He could just see the brunet scoffing at him in annoyance. Then, of course, Misa would be able to spring up at any time. Possibly launching herself into Raito's arms even as he stood there, and L was pretty sure at this point he would be a breath away from ripping her off by her hair.
Shaking his head to clear the thought from it, he carefully leaned forward, just far enough to see if the pair was still occupying his escape route. This hall only had 3 doors, two of them being restrooms, and the other looked like a storage closet. The front doors were the only way out.
Aiber and Misa seemed to have moved on. He crept back up the hall, still cautious, scanning each face and every detail, not wanting to miss them by accident and then step into a mess of his own doing. Still nothing. He was at the edge of the hall now, toes nearly an inch into no-man's land as he did his last check. All looked clear.
He composed himself, then slipped out of the hallway as if he hadn't been using it just to hide. His nerves jangled, being in plain view, and he wondered if the place had security cameras and if either Misa or Aiber would think to check them. But that wouldn't help them so much as if they had hidden in turn and were watching him at this very moment.
The heavy glass doors gave way beneath his hand and he wondered if it wouldn't be prudent to go straight to the address Raito had given him. If he returned home first, there was a greater chance of picking up a tail. Unless, of course, he already had one, then he would be leading then straight there.
---
Aiber moved out from the shadowed alcove in the atrium, light eyes intense as they tracked the other detective who still haunted his thoughts.
A humorless smile touched his lips as he watched the dark-haired man slip out from his hiding place, as cautious as a small prey animal. Scanning. Scanning. Deeming the coast to be clear. He'd guessed from Misa that L had given her the slip, fully aware that she was trailing after him. Whereas she was convinced she'd merely lost track of him.
I know you well enough, he thought at the other.
________________________________________________________ ____
TBC
A/N 2: Ok, I'll tell you that, YES L AND RAITO WILL COME FACE TO FACE NEXT CHAPTER. I must tell you all now, before one of you murders me.
But hey, I got a lot written ahead, so at least it won't be a long wait. (hides) I'll see if I can get it out this weekend. I just have to go back over the next chapter a bit. I'll do my best to have it out. If not this weekend, then next.
On another note, isn't it nice to see L pursing Raito now? It started with his skulking over to Raito's last chapter and continues here. Poor boy is about out of his head going through all of this. You can imagine him kind of going d'oh! and smacking his forehead as he thinks back on how he was the one to cut their communication, and how wrong all of that went. So he wanted a little space. Weeee-he-hell now, look how hard that has come back to bite him!
Here is the theme song of the chapter:
"Lost" by Red
Can I be dreaming once again?
I'm reaching helpless I descend
You lead me deeper through this maze
I'm not afraid
I'm lost in you everywhere I run
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new
Lost in you, something I can't fight
I cannot escape
I could spend my life lost in you! Lost in you!
Your whispers fill these empty halls
I'm searching for you as you call
I'm racing, chasing after you
I need you more
I'm lost in you everywhere I run
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new
Lost in you, something I can't fight
I cannot escape
I could spend my life lost in you!
I could never be the same
Something that I never could erase
I could never look away
I lost myself in you!
It's all over now!
Lost in you! Everywhere I run
Lost in you! Everywhere I run!
Lost in you!
Lost in you!
I'm reaching helpless I descend
You lead me deeper through this maze
I'm not afraid
I'm lost in you everywhere I run
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new
Lost in you, something I can't fight
I cannot escape
I could spend my life lost in you! Lost in you!
Your whispers fill these empty halls
I'm searching for you as you call
I'm racing, chasing after you
I need you more
I'm lost in you everywhere I run
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new
Lost in you, something I can't fight
I cannot escape
I could spend my life lost in you!
I could never be the same
Something that I never could erase
I could never look away
I lost myself in you!
It's all over now!
Lost in you! Everywhere I run
Lost in you! Everywhere I run!
Lost in you!
Lost in you!