Demon Diary Fan Fiction ❯ Diplomacy ❯ Chapter 4

Whenever he was required to give a matter serious thought, Eclipse would retreat to the kitchen and cook. This was a habit he'd developed over the centuries, ever since he'd realised he had a skill for baking. While the domesticated task was seen as being beneath most demons, it was something at which Eclipse excelled.

 

If anybody was foolish enough to mock his hobby, Eclipse would take a carving knife and sharpen it, drawing sparks from the blade. He would talk at length about butchery; how to truss and dress a carcase; how to tenderise the flesh. By the time he'd finished his calm monologue, the person who'd thought they'd been so witty would have turned as white as if they'd already been hung up to bleed dry.

 

These days, few people remarked on Eclipse's cooking. A few years ago it had been a source of amusement for Erutis and Chris, but that had been more nervous awe of the fact that a demon could create such wonderful dishes. Eclipse was not one to boast of his achievements, but he had won several awards of distinction for his food. Sometimes he thought that the squabbles between the other demon lords for his services were based more on the fact that he could bake the perfect cheesecake rather than the fact that he'd invented the Dark Arrow.

 

Apart from mealtimes, when he had a carefully planned menu prepared weeks in advance, Eclipse liked to experiment in the kitchen. Where Raenef IV had studied to increase his power through the use of incantations, Eclipse had learned the value of magic and food. He believed there was a direct correlation between food and temperament, and his cookery experiments had shown that certain dishes could induce different states of mind. With the addition of magic, these changes could be made more permanent. It was as simple - and yet as complex - as spellcasting to change the weather.

 

But none of this was what concerned him now. Eclipse had fled from the little sitting room in the tower to the kitchen, his place of sanctuary. Turning on the lights and firing up the ovens, he'd opened cupboards and drawers, clattering pots and pans to drown out the pulse of sorrow and anger that still consumed him.

 

He assembled a line of ingredients and stared at them blankly. Without being aware of what he was doing, he selected first one thing and then another, slipping into an automatic response to what he saw before him. He made lemon risotto, more for the mind-numbing repetition of adding stock and stirring rice for nearly half an hour than from any desire to eat.

 

Eclipse couldn't imagine wanting to eat anything again. Even though he was surrounded by the warmth and fragrance of food, wonderful comforting food, he felt detached from it. His stomach tightened in rejection just at the smell of it, and when he turned out the risotto onto a plate he stared at it in a wounded kind of wonder.

 

Master Raenef should be here eating this. His lord always made a beeline for the kitchen as soon as night fell. He would hop up onto the counter and swing his legs back and forth, ignoring Eclipse's growled comments to get down from there, and he would lean around Eclipse's shoulders to grab a taste of whatever was being mixed in the bowl. He was a trial, but one that Eclipse welcomed. It was a strange kind of pleasure he derived from seeing the contented expression on Raenef's face whenever his lord had eaten something that he, Eclipse, had made.

 

He placed a cover over the plate of risotto and turned to the remaining ingredients. As if to mock him, they suggested only one recipe: sugar-cakes.

 

Perhaps because he knew they were Raenef's favourite, Eclipse found himself thinking about his master too much as he measured and stirred and poured water and sugar over the heat to create long syrupy strands. Working quickly, he snatched the lengths of boiling sugar from the pan and, heedless of the stinging pain in his fingers, he plaited and spun the strands to make the abstract toppings for the cakes.

 

The reddening of his flesh balanced the dull ache of his heart. He knew enough about the ways of the elves to be aware of what must have happened to Raenef. For all their noble pretensions, elves were still barbaric creatures of the forest, little more than primitives. Even some human societies were more advanced than the elves. They were so rustic that any honoured guest visiting them for the first time would be assigned a companion. This elf would be chosen for their beauty and intelligence, and they would educate the visitor in the forest lifestyle.

 

They would also share their bed.

 

Eclipse cursed as he dropped a gleaming strand of sugar onto the floor. It snapped into pieces, and he crouched down to pick them up. His fingertips felt raw against the cold stone floor, and instinctively he curled them into a fist.

 

Master Raenef had been bedded by an elf-prince.

 

The thought wouldn't leave his head. Meruhesae's words came back to haunt him: he had to trust his master, she'd said. And he had trusted him, trusted him with his life, with his magic, with everything - except he'd never been able to admit his love, and in withholding that truth, he had failed to give Raenef his complete trust.

 

But how could he have spoken of his feelings? It was not uncommon for a demon lord to take a lover from amongst the ranks of his minions, but the impetus always had to come from the master, never from the servant. Eclipse could not tell Raenef how he felt. He was his teacher, and could not destroy the sacred bond of trust between mentor and student. He was not a seducer. He was noble and wise.

 

Except being noble and wise had got him nowhere.

 

Eclipse scooped up the broken pieces of sugar-strand and threw them away. He returned to his work, and soon a shining pile of nested cakes stood before him. He regretted his words to his lord - how could he be angry or disappointed at Raenef - and wished he could humble himself enough to take one of the sugar-cakes up to the sitting room in the tower.

 

But he had his pride, and it would take longer than a few hours for the jealousy to simmer down.

 

The kitchen door creaked open, and he felt a draught against his back. A pause, and then the door closed. Eclipse tried not to listen for footsteps, and he did not turn around. He didn't want to face his master now, too warm and too sticky from the cooking. Instead he concentrated on balancing the final sugar-cake on the top of the stack, a perfect pyramid display.

 

Raenef came close. “You made my favourite.”

 

“I said I would.” Eclipse closed his eyes, willing the pain to subside. When he looked up, his smile felt as brittle as spun sugar. “But perhaps you have a new favourite, now. Some exotic elf-dish to which I cannot compare.”

 

Raenef shook his head, his gaze never leaving Eclipse's. “No. Their food is mostly quite boring,” he said. “Wild boar, in fact, and a lot of fruit and vegetables. Honey, but no sugar. No sugar-cakes.”

 

“I'm glad you remember the sugar-cakes so fondly.” Eclipse pushed the plate towards him, and the topmost cake spilled down to land with a delicate crunch upon the counter.

 

Raenef ignored it, coming closer to him, his hand outstretched. “Eclipse…”

 

Without a word, the demon rescued the broken cake and replaced it on the top of the pile. He knew he was being unreasonable, but he couldn't help it. He'd felt fear and desire before, but this was the first time he'd experienced jealousy. Foolishly he'd thought it was an emotion that only afflicted humans and lesser species, such as elves. How the other demons and demon lords would laugh if they knew! The proud Eclipse, brought low by love for his own master…

 

Raenef plucked one half of the sugar-cake and held it in his fingers. “It's still warm,” he said, cradling it. Looking fixedly at the cocoon of spun strands, he continued, “I want to talk about what happened between me and Tainaron.”

 

Eclipse drew a swift breath. “No. You don't. Really, you don't.”

 

“I want to talk about it.”

 

“Master Raenef, you may do so - but I don't want to hear it. If you must talk about it, please go tell one of the Crusaders. Don't tell me, I beg you.”

 

“I have to tell you. You're the only one who'll understand.”

 

The note of pleading, the sound of unhappiness in Raenef's voice… Eclipse couldn't resist it. But he tried; for his peace of mind, he tried. Forcing a laugh, he asked, “Are you punishing me?”

 

Raenef put down the cake and looked at him directly. “Why would I do that?”

 

“Because I am an unfit servant. I allowed you to go to the elves without an escort. Regardless of the bounty on my head, I should have accompanied you.”

 

“It doesn't matter now.”

 

“It does matter, my lord!” Eclipse cried out, punching his fists down onto the counter. “You are not - you are not as you were when you left. You are different. You are changed. And it was not I who changed you.”

 

Silence fell. Raenef stood motionless, staring at him. Eclipse could feel the weight of his gaze, but could not meet it. The moment became awkward, and then painful.

 

His master was the first to move. Raenef lifted the sugar-cake half and took a bite. The spun sugar crackled and crunched, and he let out an involuntary sigh.

 

Eclipse shuddered.

 

Raenef finished the cake and licked his fingers. It was an artless gesture, slow and thoughtful; and then he said, “You judged me without knowing the full facts.”

 

Eclipse turned his head. “I don't need to know.”

 

“You do!” Raenef was beside him, tugging at his sleeve until he turned to face him. His wide-eyed uncertainty contrasted with the sharp command in his voice. “Listen to me, Eclipse! I need you to understand!”

 

“I - Master Raenef, please…”

 

“Eclipse!”

 

Raenef caught at him, reaching up to frame his face with hands that trembled. Eclipse felt the sticky smear of sugar-syrup from Raenef's fingers brush across his cheek, and then those fingers tightened in his hair. Eclipse could not escape even if he'd wanted to, even if his master hadn't been holding him captive.

 

He smiled, feeling the pull as Raenef's hands closed tighter, holding him still. At first he thought that his lord would chastise him, but instead Raenef stared at him, his eyes losing focus as if he was looking inward.

 

Eclipse felt a faint stir of alarm. “Master, what are you doing?”

 

“Hush. The elves taught me this,” Raenef said. “Look at me.”

 

“I don't like elf-magic. Tell me what you're doing.”

 

Raenef stepped closer, his expression determined. “Tainaron taught me the Mneme spell,” he said. “If you won't listen to my explanations, then I'll just have to show you.”

 

“The… Mneme spell?” Eclipse tried to break their eye contact, but found himself unable to move. “Lord Raenef, you shouldn't… The spell can only be used between bonded elves…”

 

“Not just them,” Raenef whispered. “It works wherever there is trust.”

 

It was magic that required a great deal of intimacy and a sure knowledge of the other person. The Mneme spell allowed a second person to telepathically receive the memory of an event witnessed by the first.

 

Eclipse had heard of the spell - Raenef IV had mused over devising a variant of it - but he had never experienced it before. It usually only worked between lovers or close family, people for whom sharing a memory would be pleasurable or useful, and until today, he'd believed it could only work between Elvin companions who'd formed a deep attachment.

 

His first thought was a jealous one - Raenef and Tainaron had obviously got a lot closer than he'd imagined - and then he felt his head spin and his eyes close as a heaviness descended upon him.

 

He was cast into an unfamiliar world, aware both of his physical body still standing in the kitchen but also of a whole separate reality opening up inside his mind - Raenef's memories.

 

Eclipse struggled against it. He didn't want to see this. The more he fought, the deeper he grew entangled, the grasp of memory forcing him to relive the experience through his lord's eyes.

 

He gasped as confused glimpses of faces, food, huts and trees flickered past him in a rush. It made him dizzy, and he reached out to steady himself. As he clung onto Raenef in reality, the memory steadied, and Eclipse found himself looking at a tall, slender, very beautiful elf.

 

Prince Tainaron smiled and said something he couldn't hear. Eclipse was glad that this memory had no sound. If only he could block out the sight, too.

 

The memory unravelled, gathering speed. He saw Tainaron sitting beside him, hands touching, lingering glances exchanged over cups of mead. He felt Raenef's response, shy and hesitant giving way to bold desire as the alcohol took effect.

 

Now he could taste the mead, feel it swing around his head as Raenef stumbled to his feet and, laughing, followed the elf-prince from the safety of the communal fire into the darkness of the forest.

 

Eclipse wanted to wrench free of the memory as his viewpoint lurched drunkenly, focusing on the ground, on a bed-roll laid out upon a blanket of fallen leaves, and then on Tainaron's face as he came closer and closer.

 

Tainaron kissed him. Eclipse shuddered at the sensation even as Raenef's memory quivered. This is what it's like to be kissed, was Raenef's thought; but Eclipse wanted to cry out to him that it wasn't right: it was a kiss full of empty desire; it wasn't done with love.

 

The memory became muddled, a swamp of emotion and drunkenness. He felt a touch on his body, the long, slow sweep of a caress as Tainaron took him in his arms. He felt the whisper of long hair over his skin. It tickled as the elf-prince stripped Raenef of his clothes.

 

Eclipse felt jealous rage gnaw at him, but he couldn't break the memory. It shouldn't have been Tainaron running his hands over Raenef's naked body - it should have been him. He should have acted long ago, admitted his desires and then begged to be set free of his servitude so they could love freely… but Raenef was his ward.

 

His heart dropped as the memory rolled on, showing Tainaron's laughing, handsome face leaning over Raenef. A flicker of a kiss pressed to his shoulder, and then a tantalising lick downwards. He felt Raenef's response, a buck and thrust, a soft groan of need. Raenef's memory went dark, and then an image formed: a familiar face, a scent he knew, a sense of completeness and unity.

 

He saw his master react to this image, and realised it wasn't Tainaron that prompted it. He had no reason for jealousy. Tainaron might have been the first man to lay with Raenef, but it wasn't Tainaron who made him come apart. It was…

 

Eclipse!

 

Responding to his name, Eclipse managed to wrench himself free of the memory. With a gasp, he fell back against the counter and put his hands over his face. He wished he could block out the things he'd seen, wished he didn't know how Tainaron had kissed and caressed Raenef - but what he'd seen at the end of the memory had changed everything.

 

“Eclipse?”

 

He looked up, pushing back his hair from his eyes. “Master?”

 

Raenef gazed at him wordlessly. His expression was open, hopeful and trusting. He looked as if he were about to cry.

 

Eclipse touched a hand to his forehead, trying to gather his thoughts. Still dizzy from the Mneme spell, reality felt unreal.

 

“You… thought about me,” he said softly. “When you were with Tainaron, it wasn't him you imagined in your arms. It was me.”

 

Slowly, Raenef nodded.

 

“My lord…” Eclipse couldn't find the words. He groped for them, knowing that Raenef needed him to say something, but he was helpless, caught off-guard between fear and love.

 

“I did it because I wanted to know what it was like,” Raenef said. “Because he offered the one thing I'd always wanted from you.”

 

Eclipse stared at him. “Always?”

 

Raenef blushed. “I fell in love with you when I was fifteen. I thought you knew that. Erutis and Chris knew it. Even Krayon knew it. But you didn't seem to care for me. My devoted servant. My loyal retainer. My teacher. I wanted you so much, and I couldn't have you. I - I didn't know how to…”

 

He broke off, confused. Taking a deep breath, he continued, “I thought that if I had experience, you wouldn't see me as a child any more. You would see me as someone different.”

 

Eclipse knew he had to speak. As if language were unfamiliar to him, he said, “I couldn't tell you how I felt.”

 

But Raenef paid him no attention, too caught up his own admission. “I thought you didn't love me. That you were only with me because of your duty. I know I drive you crazy. I know I have a long way to go before I become the greatest demon lord ever. Is it wrong to feel like this?”

 

“I couldn't act. It is forbidden,” Eclipse said helplessly. “I…”

 

“I tried to tell you, but I could never find the right words.” Raenef rushed on with his confession. “I thought you would reject me. You've always been so kind to me. But I wanted you to be the one to make the move. I wanted you to seduce me, and when you didn't, I knew I had to make you angry. Perhaps if I did that, you would know how I felt; what I'd been trying to say.”

 

It was there that Raenef came to a halt, and there he waited, breathless, for a reaction.

 

Eclipse blinked. “You slept with an elf.”

 

Raenef lifted his chin. “I thought of you. You, Eclipse.”

 

“You said this wasn't a punishment.”

 

“It's not. It's not!” Now Raenef looked angry, his eyes sparking. “Yes, I slept with Prince Tainaron,” he said, “but I did it without love. It was a - an act of diplomacy. Didn't you always tell me that the end justifies the means?”

 

Eclipse smiled, and for the first time since his master had come home, he meant it. “Yes,” he said. “I did say that.”

 

“Well,” said Raenef, his pride dissolving into bluster, “the end result is that I love you.”

 

Eclipse bowed his head. “I am not deserving of your love, Master Raenef.”

 

“Oh, but you are. If you cannot accept to be my equal, the way I've always wanted it, then at least agree to let me love you, even if you don't love me back.”

 

“Is that an order, my lord?”

 

“No. I hoped…” Raenef glanced away, biting his lip.

 

“Hope is an emotion a demon lord should destroy. Love is an emotion a demon should not feel for his master.” Eclipse paused. “I think we have both failed in our tasks.”

 

He watched Raenef's expression go from bewilderment to delight. “You mean… Eclipse?”

 

He nodded, smiling, happiness unfurling within him. “Yes, Master Raenef.”

 

Raenef flung his arms around Eclipse and kissed him: short and sweet, breaking away before it could get too impassioned. The kitchen was not the place for their first time. Eclipse was determined to do this properly from now on.

 

“Then you forgive me?” Raenef asked.

 

“Of course I do,” said Eclipse contentedly. “There is nothing to forgive. After all, it was just an act of diplomacy - and Tainaron is only an elf. I have nothing to fear from an elf.”

 

the end