Digimon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ New Arrival (Aka It's all Xellos' Fault) ❯ It's WHAT in the morning?! ( Chapter 1 )

Usual Disclaimer: The Harem members from X-Men, Digimon, Pokemon, Dragonlance, etc. don't belong to us. However the Original Characters of Lashana & Telca, our Ideas, and the Insanity Storyline are ours, so no touching! No touching! (hee hee, I have to stop watching Emperor's New Groove)

Note: Words between ~ ~ and { } are telepathic thoughts and such. That is all

Lashana sighed sleepily as she rolled over and snuggled closer to the warmth that was Blackwargreymon, smiling when he automaticly put his arms around her and hugged her, his breath warm on her cheek as he snored softly. She really shouldn't have stayed up half the night watching that Die Hard marathon with him, but he had done that damnable pouting look.... Granted I shouldn't complain. I trap him with that look all the time. She yawned and shifted so she was a bit more comfortable in his arms, daring to sneek a glance at the nighttable clock as she did so. 7am. Ugh. I've only been asleep for three hours.... crap.... Well, there's nothing that says I can't go back to sleep....

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' alive! Stayin' alive! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! STAYIN' AAAAAAALLLLLLLIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"

"Lashana. I'm going to have to behead your Immortal," Blackwargreymon growled drowsily. "Or maybe I could see if I can rip his heart out without killing him. Can I do that?"

"Mfpt."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," he rumbled as he reached out to pull the blanket over their heads, trying to sheild them from Duncan's singing. "I'll go get him later."

"I LIKE TO STAY AT THE Y-M-C-A!!!!!"

"YOU'RE GONNA BE STAYING IN AN INTENSIVE CARE UNIT IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!"

"Telca's up," Lashana muttered, her voice muffled since her face was buried against Blackwargreymon's bare chest.

"Do tell," he murmured as sounds of explosions rattled the windows throughout the Palace. "Want to go do damage control?"

"Hell no."

He grinned and hugged her. "Good."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"IF YOU EVER WAKE US UP LIKE THAT AGAIN I'LL PERSONALLY GLUE XELLOS' FACE TO YOUR CROTCH!!!!"

Duncan whimpered and crawled away from the enraged Telca, lowering his gaze from her dangerous amber one as he scrambled to his feet and ran out of the Kitchen.

He got halfway to the front doors before her thrown fireball caught up with him.

Telca growled lowly and ran her hands through her tousled hair, sighing in exasperation seconds later. "Stupid Immortal always waking us up at unGodly times of the day...." She continued grumbling lowly as she walked into the Kitchen, going to turn off the stove and toaster that Duncan had been using before turning to shuffle back towards the stairs. Gonna go back to bed and snuggle with Remy and everything will be better when I get up after another six hours of sleep.....and if things aren't I'll just blame it on Lashana. Yeah. That sounds good.

She had just reached the bottom step of the staircase when she sensed someone behind her. "S'too early. Go annoy someone who cares...."

~And who exactly would that be?~

Telca paused at the low tenor voice that intruded into her sleep addled thoughts and blinked a few times before she turned around and stared at the strangest thing she had ever seen. Whatever it was, it stood at least 6 feet in height, looked like a weird cross between a cat and a kangaroo, and was two different shades of purple. The only coherant thought that she could come up with was : It's too early for this.

Unfortunately, coherancy never lasted long in this dimension.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S A GIANT PURPLE RAT!!!!!!!!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lashana groaned as Telca's scream echoed throughout the Palace and buried her head under a pillow. "If she drank Mazoku coffee again I'm goin' to Maui for the weekend."

"I'm goin with you," Blackwargreymon muttered.

"LASHANA!!!!!! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!!! AND BRING A MALLET!!!!"

"Bloody psychopathic wacko," Lashana growled testily as she fell out of bed, picked herself up off the floor and grabbed her black housecoat.

"Have fun," Blackwargreymon snickered as he stole her pillow and curled up under the blankets.

"Oh no you don't!" she snarled as she grabbed the blankets and ripped them away.

"Oh Gods...." he shuddered, curling up tighter into a ball to keep warm. "You're evil."

"And I'm also pissed and caffeine deprived!" she added as she stalked out of the room.

He sighed and took a deep breath of air, wincing slightly. "You're also starting your cycle."

"SHADDUP!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Zelgadis had no idea what was going on. And truth be told he didn't care. All he cared was that the coffee maker was downstairs and he was still upstairs because he had just walked into a wall.

After peeling himself off said wall, he rubbed at his eyes with the back of a hand and yawned as he blindly headed for the staircase, blinking when Lashana stalked past him. The only thing his mind could come up with was : She's gonna steal my coffee!!

"NO!!! IT'S MINE!!!"

"What the-?" Lashana mused, turning towards the cry in time to have Zel tackle her, sending both of them tumbling down the stairs. "GET OFFA ME YOU MORON!!!!"

Telca spun at the scream and sighed as she side-stepped the two bodies that slammed into the floor, looking down at the Elf testily. "Took you long enough!" She paused and looked around, frowning curiously when she saw the empty space around them. "Where the hell did it go?"

Lashana growled warningly. "Telca. If you made me get up for nothing....."

"I swear! There was this huge purple rat, cat, kangaroo lookin' thingy here!!" she cried as Lashana kicked Zelgadis aside and got to her feet. "There was!"

"Have you been drinking coffee again? Or did you get into the leftover Halloween candy stash?"

"There was! I saw-- There's a leftover Halloween candy stash?"

Lashana rolled her eyes and headed for the Kitchen. "It's too early for this. Oh Goddess I need caffeine...."

Telca harumphed and headed after the Elf, leaving the chimera to twitch on the floor. "I'm telling you there was a...a....well I don't know what it was, but it was here!!"

"Sure there was," Lashana muttered as she walked into the Kitchen and made a beeline for the coffee maker. After having poured herself a mug of blessed caffeine and taken a nice long drink of it, she sighed and looked at her frazzled friend. "Okay fine. Let's say you actually haven't completely lost your mind--"

"Let go of my cccooooofffffeeeee!!!!" Zelgadis wailed, cutting her off as he ran into the Kitchen and lept at her.

Lashana snarled, baring her fangs. "FIREBALL!!!!" Now that Zelgadis was unconscious on the floor she could get her thoughts together. "Like I was saying, assuming you haven't gone bugnuts, where exactly could something that size vanish to?"

"The same place our socks go when we do laundry?" Telca smiled innocently.

".....that's it. I'm going back to bed."

"I know that I saw what I saw!!" Telca cried as she followed the Elf out of the Kitchen. "I have not lost my mind!"

"That's all a matter of opinion, now isn't it?" Blackwargreymon grumbled as he trudged down the stairs.

"Oh shut up you big turtle!"

"I AM NOT A TURTLE!!"

"Okaaay......Now that I've lost another 15% of my hearing...." Lashana yawned as she spoke and headed for the stairs, tugging on the waistband of her Bonded's jogging pants on the way by. "I'm goin back to bed. You comin?"

"You're telling me that I got up for nothing?" he frowned, looking at her in disbelief.

"Essentially, yes."

He growled out a few curses and turned to stomp back up the stairs, muttering to himself the entire way.

Telca sighed and looked at Lashana. "I really did see it!"

"Well it sure as hell isn't here now. Just go back to bed. Another five hours sleep will do us all good." She turned to follow Blackwargreymon and froze when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Curious, she gestured to Telca to fall silent and crept over to the Living room's doorway, peeking inside warily before sighing and turning away. "Must be my imagination...."

~I assure you, it isn't.~

"ACK!" She spun and faced the large purple creature, blinking in pure shock for a moment before her instincts kicked in.

"NOT THE DVD PLAYER!!" Telca yelled.

"FIREBALLL!!!!"

"NNNOOOOO!!!!!!"

Lashana winced at the sight of the now rather melted DVD player and glanced back at Telca apologeticly. "Sorry. Reflex."

"You'd better buy a new one!!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"What the hell is going on down here?!" Blackwargreymon yelled as he descended the stairs for the second time that morning.

"Um.......well......"

"I'm not insane! Lashana saw it too! Didn't you?" Telca grinned, glaring at the Elf when she hesitated. "Didn't you??"

"Yeah. Yeah I saw....something," Lashana admitted, sighing when Blackwargreymon walked over to her and lay a hand on her shoulder. "Whatever it was, it teleported out of the way of my fireball."

Blackwargreymon looked into the Livingroom and paled. "Aw no! You totaled the DVD Player!"

Yes I know. It's been mentioned before. "I'll buy a new one!"

"You'd damn well better," Telca groused, glancing at the stairs when a sleeply call reached her and grinning when she saw Remy standing at the top of the staircase dressed in only a pair of boxers. "Mmm! Good morning to me!"

"Pervert," Lashana muttered under her breath while leaning against her Bonded.

"Did someone call for a pervert?"

"Aw crap," Lashana sighed as Xellos teleported into sight. "We really have to tie him to the floor or something."

"You can tie me up anytime, Lashana-chan," Xellos said with a leer.

"DON'T CALL HER 'CHAN'!!!"

"Blackwargreymon! Don't!"

"TERRA DESTROYER!!!"

Lashana groaned and buried her face in her hands. "I need a vacation....."

"Well here's another fine mess you've made, Blacky," Telca grumbled as she looked around at the ruined Main Hall of the Palace, sidestepping to stamp out a smoldering piece of carpet before looking over at the Xellos-shaped hole in the far wall.

"What the hell was that?!" Kang yelled as he ran down the stairs with a half-awake Wolverine by his side, pausing when he saw the large charcoled part of the carpet. "Not even extra-strength scotch-guard can save that now."

Blackwargreymon grumbled under his breath and hugged Lashana to him, glaring at everyone that looked their way. "What?!"

"Geez. What crawled up yer shorts, bub?" Wolverine growled.

"That's it, I need another cup of coffee to be able to handle this," Lashana declared as she pulled away from her Bonded and stalked into the Kitchen, dimly aware that Kang was right behind her. "Gods....It's way to freakin' early for this!"

"Tell me about it," Kang groaned as he casually shoved Zelgadis out of the way and stole his spot by the coffee maker, proceeding to pour a cup of coffee for himself and Lashana. "So what's going on?"

"Telca saw.....something...." she trailed off and took a sip of her coffee. "I managed to catch a glimpse of it before I loosed a fireball at it."

"Oh that was a good idea," he muttered sarcasticly.

"Hey! It's early, I'm half-awake and the bloody thing startled me, ok?!"

"You forgot to add the part about you being on your cycle!" Blackwargreymon called from the staircase.

"Shaddup about that already!" Lashana yelled. "Else I'll lower the blocks on the Bond and let you experience a non-painkiller dulled cramp!!"

The sound of Telca snickering could be heard as the Digimon gulped, his voice wavering as he spoke. "Uh...nevermind."

Kang snickered and took another drink of his coffee. "Good one."

"Thanks. So anyway, like I said, we have a visitor somewhere in the Palace. I kinda hope it didn't get fried by that spell...." she sighed and shook her head as she walked over to a cubboard and pulled out a box of 'Pot of Gold' chocolates. "Want one?"

The draconian made a face. "Now?! It's too early!"

"It's never too early for chocolate!" Telca grinned as she raced into the Kitchen, having been alerted to the chance at having sweets by the sound of Lashana tearing the plastic wrapping off the box. "I want the cherries."

"No way! They're mine!"

"Ya wanna bet?!"

"Try me!"

"Fine! I--- ACKK!!! WHERE'D THE BOX GO?!?!"