Digimon Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Cookie Mayhem ❯ Prologue

It's friday afternoon. Lashana is bored out of her mind....which isn't really new, but go with it, okay? She's had a craving for chocolate all day, and has discovered that SOMEONE has eaten her stash of Ovation stick-mints, and unless Blackwargreymon has been chewing mint gum, she knows who to blame. Naturally, he knows enough NOT to be around her when she's pissed, so he's nowhere to be found, which only pisses her off all the more. So after fireballing Xellos into a pile of ashes for no better reason than he was a willing target, she heads off to the Kitchen with the intention of making her yummy chocolate chip cookies. First, she discovers, she'll have to get Remy to let her use the stove (Ye gods, what IS he cooking?!?!?! Oh look, the wallpaper is peeling!) ..... So after fireballing Remy and dragging him to the livingroom to recover, she starts baking.

Unfortunately, as the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies wafts through the Palace's hallways, she discovers that all males -no matter what the species- are drawn to the smell of free food.

Lashana: *smacks Xel in the face with the spatula* BACK!!! BACK I SAY!!!! *looks at Spatula* -_- Ugh...now I need a clean one *throws the spatula at Duncan and gets a clean one from the drawer before glaring at the group in front of her* These are MINE!!! GO AWAY!!

Duncan: You can't possibly eat all those yourself *starts to reach for a cookie*

Lashana: *grabs a rolling pin and beans him with it, waving the marble weapon at the remaining Zelgadis, Xellos, Wolverine and Remy* Who's next?

Kenshin: *walks into the room* Do I smell fresh cookies? Fresh CHOCOLATE CHIP cookies?

Lashana: *growls* No.

Kenshin: *takes one look at Lashana, glances at an unconcious Duncan on the floor and wisely leaves the room*

Wolverine: *smirks as he inches forward* Ya can't stop all of us darlin'

Lashana: *growls and readies a fireball in her free hand, raising the marble rolling pin threateningly* Wanna bet?

Xellos: GET HER!!!! ^_^

Lashana: ohshit *ducks Xel as he tries to glomp her and uses the rolling pin like a baseball bat, knocking him over to land on Remy as said cajun starts to charge a few playing cards. She ignores the scream of horror from the cajun and fireballs Zelgadis, leaving him to land on a just awakening Duncan as she turns her attention to Wolverine in time to see him grab a handful of cookies and bolt for the door. Enraged, she chucks the rolling pin at him, only succeeding in making a huge hole in the wall next to his head as he runs for his life*

Blackwargreymon: *lands on the deck and storms into the Kitchen, having sensed his Bonded's rage* What the hell is going on??!!?! *sees Lashana glaring at the four males on the floor and growls lowly at them* Just what are you trying to do to my Bonded?!

Duncan: *from under Zelgadis* @_@ We want her cookies....

Blackwargreymon: *OBVIOUSLY taking that the WRONG way* YOU WHAT?!?!?!?! *starts to stalk forward, a murderous protective gleam in his eyes*

Duncan: eep *scrambles away, or tries to. Zel weighs a LOT. 1/3 golem remember?*

Xel: *still glomping Remy* ^_^ *wriggles*

Remy: Merde!

Lashana: *sighs and reaches out to stop Blackwargreymon from gutting Duncan, silently pointing to the plate of cookies next to the stove when he looks at her*

Blackwargreymon: Oh....

Lashana: Hentai

Blackwargreymon: *blushes*

Lashana: Ever since that video..... *silently curses said 'present' from Telca many times in MANY languages*

Blackwargreymon: *BLUSHES*

Xellos: *still snuggling close to Remy, who's trying to free himself* I have a copy of that video ^_^ It's very entertaining. ^_^

Lashana: *calmy walks over to the fridge and starts to repeatedly bang her head against it*

Blackwargreymon: *walks over to her and pulls her away from the fridge, hugging her gently* Stop that. You're going to hurt yourself.

Xel: ^_^ Aren't they cute? ^_^

Lashana: *reaches into a drawer and pulls out a honkin' big knife with every intention of throwing it at Xellos*

Remy: *eyes widen. He's still being glomped by the freak and thus in the line of fire* NO!!!!!! Petite, DON'T!!

Lashana: *grumbles and puts the knife away* Duncan?

Duncan: *warily* Um...yes?

Lashana: Hurt Xellos for me and I'll give you a cookie.

Duncan: ^_^ *pulls out sword and grabs Xel by his hair, forcably dragging him off of Remy and into the hallway, where the
sounds of mutilation begins*

Xel: Ow. ^_^ Ow ^_^ Ooooo, do that one again! ^_^ Ow. ^_^ Higher ^_^ Ow. ^_^

Remy: *listens* Remy may just be sick O.o

Zelgadis: *gets to his feet and looks at Lashana, then at the plate of cookies, then back to Lashana, then at a growling and
glaring Blackwargreymon* -_- I'll be in the game room *leaves*

Blackwargreymon: *proceeds to glare at Remy until the cajun leaves, then looks down at Lashana* Are you alright? The Bond feels.....strange....

Lashana: Don't ask questions you don't want answers to *she gently pulls away, frowning when he grabs her wrist, turning her to look at him*

Blackwargreymon: *says the one thing that never fails to get her to open up to him* My Bonded?

Lashana: *sighs* Trust me on this Blackwargreymon. You don't want to know.

Xellos: *from the hallway where he is still being 'tortured' by Duncan* I know what's wrong with Lashana-chan!! ^_^

Blackwargreymon: DON'T CALL HER 'CHAN'!!! *pauses* And how the hell can you know what's bothering her?!?!!

Xellos: I looked at her personal organizer ^_^

Lashana: YOU WHAT?!?!?!?! *stalks over to the doorway, dragging Blackwargreymon with her since he hasn't let go of her wrist yet, and throws a fireball into the hallway* STAY AWAY FROM MY STUFF!!!!!

Duncan: *dodges fireball and watches Xel get fried* o.O You really pissed her off.

Xel: *sighs happily* Arigato! ^_^

Blackwargreymon: WILL SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IS GOING ON!??!!?!??!

Lashana: *mumbles something indistinguishable*

Blackwargreymon: *softly* What was that? *kneels to be at eye level with her, reaching out to touch her left cheek*

Lashana: *loudly* I'M DURING MY CYCLE OKAY!?!?!?

Blackwargreymon: *silence*

Duncan: *silence*

Zelgadis: *silence*

Remy: *silence*

Wolverine: *silence*

The Entire Palace: *silence*

Xel: ^_^

Lashana: *glares at the floor as a fierce blush colours her cheeks. When she finally looks up, she's alone. Curious, she looks down the hallway in time to see every male in the Palace run out the front door and into the forest....including her
Blackwargreymon* SOME BONDED YOU ARE!!!!!! *she stalks back into the Kitchen and grabs her plate of cookies, and proceeds to stomp to the haven of the library, collapsing on the couch with a growl of annoyance* Stupid MALE pansy idiots *eats a cookie and gets up to go open the window, glaring outside testily. A low rumble from behind her draws her attention, and she glares over at her Bonded, who ducks his head in an apologetic gesture*

Blackwargreymon: .......sorry *looks at her hopefully as he hold a glass of chocolate milk out to her, giving her the puppy-dog look routine* Forgive me?

Lashana: *tries to keep glaring at him, fails, and finally sighs and gestures for him to join her* Yeah.....I forgive you.

Blackwargreymon: *smiles and walks over to her, sitting on the floor next to her and following her gaze outside* You could have told me earlier.

Lashana: *wryly* And have you disappear for four days?

Blackwargreymon: *looks at her miserably* I said I was sorry!

Remy: *yells up at them from the forest* Homme! What you doin' up there?! RUN!!!!

Lashana: *chucks a book at him* SHADDUP!!! *the book misses the cajun and slams into Wolverine instead* Damn. Missed *watches as Wolverine extends his claws and rips the book apart*

Blackwargreymon: Um.......what about the book?

Lashana: *shrugs* S'okay. It was a Harlequin Romance.

Blackwargreymon: Oh. *silence for a moment, then he senses a tweak in the Bond* Are you alright?

Lashana: *Strained* Yeah.... *She has a death grip on the window sill, her nails digging into the wood*

Wolverine: *yells at Blackwargreymon* RUN FOR YER LIFE YA IDIOT!!!!!

Blackwargreymon: *yells right back* SHUT UP!!! *reaches out and pries Lashana's fingers from the window sill before slamming the window shut* Let's go watch a movie, okay?

Lashana: I hafta sit down...... *goes and sprawls onto the length of the couch, burying her face in a pillow so he wouldn't see her grimace of pain*

Blackwargreymon: *worried* Lashana?

Lashana: *damns the empathic Bond that's forming between them to the seven hells and back* Mfpt? *she tenses as she feels him rest a hand on her back, only relaxing when he lightly rubs her shoulders and leans down to nuzzle the side of her neck lightly*

Xellos: *teleports in and grins before pulling out a camera and taking pictures*

Blackwargreymon: *snaps his head up and snarls at the Mazoku. He's seconds away from grabbing the freak and throwing him out the window when said freak flies down to attach something to both Lashana's right wrist and his left one before vanishing with on of those infuriating grins*

Lashana: *raises her head in shock as the feeling of cold metal around her wrist registers and shrieks when she sees that she's handcuffed to Blackwargreymon* XELLOS!!! YOU GODS DAMN FREAK!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!

Xel: *phases in to wink at her* Not if you can't catch me! ^_^

Blackwargreymon: WHERE'S THE KEY!??!!?

Xel: Sore wa himitsu desu!! ^_^ *runs*

Blackwargreymon: *runs after him, forgetting that he's attached to Lashana* GET BACK HERE!!!!

Lashana: *is violently yanked off the couch to slam into the floor before she starts being dragged towards the door. Giving vent to a screech of pain and anger, she twists and knocks Blackwargreymon off his feet, sending him crashing to the floor*

Xel: *is standing in the doorway, laughing*

Lashana: *raises her free hand* FIREBALLLLL!!!!! *fries Xel*

Xel: *crispy lump on the floor* Arigato! ^_^

Blackwargreymon: *groans and looks at Lashana, who glares at him* Sorry. Are you alright?

Lashana: *heavy on the sarcasm please* Oh yeah. I'm just fricken peachy!

Blackwargreymon: -_- I suppose I deserve that *does some careful maneuvers and sits up, looking down at her where she lies on the floor* Did I hurt you?

Lashana: *still peeved* Only when you yanked me off the couch and slammed me into the floor.

Blackwargreymon: *sighs and helps her sit up, frowning when he sees the bruise forming on her wrist under the band of the handcuff* I'm sorry. I'll carry you. Wolverine should be able to cut through the chain *he shifts and scoops her into his arms, standing as he carrie her in the crook of his right arm and steadies her with his left hand, feeling her drape her left arm over his shoulders as he kicked the window open and leaped into the air*

Lashana: WOLVERINE!!!!! *spots him running beneath them and sighs, adding a worried tone to her voice* LOGAN! *sees him stop and look up at them, and she stiffles a yelp as Blackwargreymon dives down to land heavily in front of the Canuck* Um...a little help?

Wolverine: *suspiciously* Fer what?

Blackwargreymon: *sighs and holds up his left arm, forcing Lashana to raise her arm as well* Xellos chained us together -_-

Wolverine: *snickers but extends the claws of his right hand as Blackwargreymon kneels to be at eye-level* Don't move. *with a deft slash, he frees them, then re-sheathes his claws* That's a nasty bruise darlin'

Lashana: *now free, she jumps out of Blackwargreymon's arms* It'll heal. Now.....where's Xellos??

******************************

Xel: *is still chuckling to himself an hour later as he ports himself to his room, wanting to develop the pictures he had taken earlier that day......and lets out a cry of horror when he sees his room, his eyes opening fully to show the disgust and terror there. His room, usually a nice deep purple, is now a saccharine neon pink. And Barney. A life size Barney plushie doll is decked out on his bed singing the 'I love you' song dressed in a bright pink tutu. He thinks may just throw up..... Unfortunately he's too busy convulsing on the floor at the moment to do that.

Lashana: *sticks her head into the room and snaps a few pictures of her own, then darts in and handcuffs him to a handy chain that she's bolted the floor. She's also put and enchantment on said chain so that only she can free the captive.* You have fun now! ^_^

Xel: *is still having a seizure, sickened to the point of unconciousness by the cuteness of the scene. Then he realizes he's chained to the floor* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lashana: *is in the kitchen, happily sharing chocolate chip cookies with her Bonded, who's giving her a shoulder rub and grinning as he listens to the screams from upstairs. She grins and hands Blackwargreymon another cookie* Don't mess with the best!! Woo-hoo!!!