Digimon Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Insanity 104 ❯ Prologue

It's another beautiful day in the land of the Harem. The sun is once again shining, the birds are...~BANG!~

Lashana: *is reading a Mercedes Lackey book in the Library when she hears the explosion. Curious, she goes over to the window, opens it, and sticks her head outside. Looking down, she can see Xellos on the deck, restraining a seagull as he shoves something down it's throat* WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?

Xellos: *looks up and smiles* Nothing, Lashana-chan ^_^

Blackwargreymon: *from the game room where he's playing a game of pool with Duncan* DON'T CALL HER 'CHAN'!!!!!!!!!!

Lashana: *to herself* How the hell does he do that?! ~BANG!~ *she looks down and sees Xellos grin* This can't be good....*deciding that she needs to put a stop to whatever Xellos may be doing, she puts a slip of paper in her book to keep her place and heads downstairs.*

Blackwargreymon: *sticks his head out of the game room as she passes by* What's going on?

Lashana: I'll tell you as soon as I find out *goes to one of the numerous patio doors and walks out onto the deck....* ~BANG!~ *.....heading for Xellos* XEL!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!

Xel: *innocent look*

Lashana: *knows that look means trouble. Mostly because she uses it on a regular basis to escape Telca's wrath. She watches as he pulls another seagull from a cage and shoves a pill down it's gullet, then sets it free. THAT worries her. Xel being kind and setting something free.*

Duncan: *walks out to join Lashana* What's going on?

Lashana: I'm not sure.... ~BANG!~ *her eyes widen when the seagull explodes in midair* AHHHH!!! XEL!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THAT BIRD!!?!?!?!?

Xel: *grins* Did you know that if you give a seagull a normal antacid tablet they foam at the mouth...er...beak? So I got these *holds up a package of 'Mazoku super-strength brand antacid tablets'* a hundred times stronger! I gave one to a bird and it blew up!! ^_^ Isn't it neat!?!?!

Duncan: *pale* NO!! It's gross!!

Lashana: *looks at the lawn* Look at the lawn!! It's got bird parts strewn all over the place!!!! *looks over at Xel in time to see him grab another seagull* XEL!! PUT THAT BIRD DOWN!!

Xel: Okay! ^_^ *shoves a pill down it's throat and tosses it off the deck* ~BANG!~ *grin*

Lashana: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!!!!!!

Duncan: *is now a really unflattering shade of green and holding a hand over his mouth* I'm gonna *hick* go inside *hick*

Xel: *sees an opportunity for yet more torture and sidles over to Duncan* Gonna go do the technicolour yawn? ^_^

Lashana: *gets mad and punts Xel off the deck* SICKO!!! *she turns to Duncan and frowns, then ushers him over to the Kitchen entrance and over to the island counter, pulling a stool out for him* Sit down, I'll get you some tea. (pepperment tea helps calm the stomach y'know)

Duncan: O.o *hick*

Lashana: *sighs and makes him some peppermint tea -fireballing the water to make it heat faster- and hands it to him* Here. It'll calm your stomach.

Duncan: *sips tea for a moment, then rests his forehead on the counter*

Zelgadis: *walks into the kitchen to get some coffee and see's a very pale Duncan* What's wrong with him?

Lashana: Xellos is blowing up seagulls with antacid tablets -_- Duncan looked at the lawn.

Zelgadis: *does the really stupid thing and goes to look* O.o *comes back in looking green...uh, green-er*

Lashana: *hands him a cup of peppermint tea and guides him over to sit next to Duncan*

Duncan: *not raising his head* How come you're not bothered by that Lashana?

Lashana: Because I've seen every gore and horror film known to humankind. I'm de-sensitized ^_~ *looks out the patio door* That lawns gonna reek something awful when the afternoon sun hits it....

Duncan & Zel: O.o *hick*

Lashana: Whoops! Sorry! *goes over to the cabinet and pulls out a package of salted crackers, tossing it on the counter in front of the two queasy males*

Blackwargreymon: *walks in, sniffing the air curiously* Why am I smelling raw chicken?

Duncan & Zel: O.o *make a run for the nearest bathroom*

Lashana: *is laughing so hard tears are trickling down her cheeks. She can't even find the breath to talk*

Blackwargreymon: What? *looks after the retreating Zel and Duncan, then at Lashana* What'd I say?!

Lashana: *points at patio door and tries to catch her breath* Go....look outside......

Blackwargreymon: *thinking that this is all some sort of joke, goes to look* Oh....my.....gods..... *stares out at the gruesome covered lawn.....* ~BANG!~ *....then at the seagull that had just exploded and landed among the other varoius bird parts* What the hell?

Lashana: *is wiping tears from her eyes as she joins him* Xellos has been giving seagulls Mazoku super-strength antacid tablets. It makes them blow up.

Blackwargreymon: *shudders* That's just gross....

Lashana: *mischivously* Does it really smell like raw chicken?

Blackwargreymon: .....yes

Lashana: *gets a decidedly evil glow in her eyes*

Blackwargreymon: *sees the glint in her eyes and a grin slowly spreads over his lips*

*************************************************

Three hours later. The lawn has been cleaned -gotta love magick- and the wonderful scents of food fills the air.

Lashana: SUPPER!!! COME AND GET IT BEFORE MY BONDED EATS EVERYTHING!!!!!!

Blackwargreymon: *insulted* Hey!! It's not my fault that my metabolism burns a lot of calories!!! Do you have any idea how much energy it takes to lob those 'terra destroyers' around!?!?!

Lashana: *rolls her eyes as she filps a burger on the barbeque. The sound of many people running out onto the deck gains her attention, and she smiles as she looks over at the group.*

Telca: Mmmm! Smells good Lashana! *walks over to her friend* Burgers, hotdogs, coleslaw.....what's the occasion?

Lashana: *shrugs* I was bored. I decided to cook.....

Wolverine: *cuts her off* God help us all.

Blackwargreymon: *leaps to his Bonded's defense* Hey shut up! She can cook!

Lashana: *glares at the canuck as she continues* ...and give the hired help along with Kenshin a break.

Kenshin: Not that I mind cooking.

Wolverine: *mutters* pansywaist

Telca: *in a warning voice as she tosses a can of beer at him* Behave Wolverine...

Wolverine: Oh alright, darlin' *drinks beer*

Blackwargreymon: *in a mocking voice* Behave Wolverine...

Duncan & Zel: *snickers*

Wolverine: ~skint~ *unsheathes claws and holds them up, catching the sunlight as he glares at Blackwargreymon * You wanna peice 'o this bub?

Blackwargreymon: *raises gauntlets* Bring it on hairball

Telca & Lashana: SIT DOWN!!!!

Telca: ALL of you! BEHAVE!!!!

Lashana: *glares at Wolverine* Don't threaten my Bonded, Canuck. Hair IS flammable, remember?

Telca: *fwaps Lashana* Don't burn my Harem!!!

Lashana: *pouts* You never let me have any fun ;_; *flips the last burger onto a plate and looks at Blackwargreymon* Do me a favor and go get the appetizers?

Blackwargreymon: Sure *gives Wolverine a smug look as he walks into the kitchen, missing the one claw salute that the Canuck sent in return*

Telca: *fwaps Wolverine* I told you to behave! *looks at Lashana and shrugs* Men

Lashana: *shrugs in return and sets the plate of burgers on the large picnic table.* Can't live with them and you won't let me fireball 'em. *goes to get the buns for the burgers and hotdogs as Blackwargreymon returns with the barbeque chicken wings* Eat up y'all! *sits on a free chair*

Blackwargreymon: Don't talk like the hairball *sits on the floor (remember 8 1/2 feet tall) next to Lashana's chair and reaches for a burger*

Telca: Hey! These chicken wings are really good! *murmurs of agreement from all around* Where'd you buy them?

Lashana: *waves hand dismissively as Kenshin, Duncan and Zelgadis reach for the burgers* Oh, it's one of those no-name brands from Loblaws.

Wolverine: They're good....*reaches for another*

Blackwargreymon: *muffles his chuckle by eating the burger*

Lashana: *beams happily* Glad you like them! *takes a bite of her burger. She waits until all the chicken wings are gone before speaking again* Telca....do you remember when you pulled that prank on Blackwargreymon and I and we swore to you that we'd get even?

Telca: *looks at her warily* Yeah....

Lashana & Blackwargreymon: *evil grin* We're even.

Telca: *in a low horrified voice* What did you do? *thinks* Oh gods! You poisoned the food! I'm gonna turn into Xellos now aren't I?!?!

Lashana: *shakes her head* I did not poison the food, *points at her Harem who are happily munching away* nor did I re-decorate.... relax *grin* Eat up.

Telca: *is now SERIOUSLY worried. she exchanges wary glances with her Harem...* ~BANG!~ *...looks out over the lawn as a Seagull explodes in midair.* What the....??!?!

Xellos: *floats into view as he stuffs a pill down a seagulls throat and tosses it onto the table*

Lashana: *raises a wind sheild around herself and Blackwargreymon as Zel does the same for himself, Duncan and Kenshin*

Telca: *stares at the bird in confusion...* ~BANG~ *....and screeches when it explodes, covering her and her Harem in grime*

Xellos: *insane grin* Who wants more Chicken Wings? There's plenty to go around!!! ^_^ *grabs another bird*

Telca: *looks at the scattered bird parts, then at a smirking Lashana, then at Xellos, then back to the bird* ~BANG!~ *the sight of another bird exploding over the barbeque finally clues her in* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *the cry spurs her Harem into action, the group of greenish looking males all running into the house in search of a free bathroom* YOU DIDN'T!!!!!!

Lashana: *evil grin as she gets up and heads inside with her laughing Harem right behind her* We're even, Telca. We're even.

Xellos: *floats down to Telca and holds out a seagull* You want the breast or the leg?

Telca: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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