Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ A Walk In My Shoes ❯ The Forgotten One ( Chapter 14 )

A Walk In My Shoes

ST: Whooo… The other depressing chapter.

TK: Very.

ST: Hmmm?

TK: I said very. I was agreeing with you.

ST: Really? You? Agreeing with me? Yea right.

TK: Whatever.

ST: Oh, just answering an interesting question I received from one of my reviewers (thankx by the way, all you reviewers! You make my day!) : Why haven't they switched back yet?

Answer: Well, there's more to the story besides `Oh our lives are shit, so we switch, bond, fall in love, then switch back.' One prob: THEIR LIVES ARE STILL SHIT! So, obviously they're gonna do something about it! ………… Awww, crap! I just gave away the next part.

TK: And you came off really really rude.

ST: Omigod! You're right! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I was just explaining! Ohhhh! SORRY!

TK: Like, omigod, shut the fuck up.

ST: Tsk. Now that was rude.

TK: Like I care. On with this damn story!

((((((((((((((((((Chapter 14: The Forgotten One))))))))))))))))))))

~TK~

My parents divorced when I was about five. Sure, it's pretty common to see split families now a days, but it doesn't mean the pain is going to lessen.

I didn't get to see my father or big brother much, my mom moved too far away. But still close enough to torment us.

My mother always wanted to prove herself, try to show everyone how great she could become even though she was a single mother. I was like a badge. Sometimes she polished me, sometimes she scorned me. Like, `oh look how far I've come, even though I am not married, have a son (a son! Those are, like, a lot more high maintenance than girls, believe it or not!) and I don't get child support. Wheee!' And I'm not kidding. I've heard her say it. Well, not the wheee part, but same difference!

For three years she raised us from the dumps, getting promotion after promotion. Then, the summer when us chosen were taken to the digital world, she got slightly demoted.

She said that I caused her undue stress, which caused her to fall behind, and BAM, demotion. She then proceeded to tell me that children should be seen and not heard. Oh, and get this. She blamed the near destruction of the worlds on my "mischievousness". Nice, mom. I was only eight for Christ's sake!

And the next six years didn't get any better. By the time I was 12 and started getting involved in sports, she was waaay too busy to come to any of my games.

She made up for it, though. When I'd come home she'd give me cold hard cash. I'm talkin 10s and 20s.

Soon, it came to a point that I never saw her. If the laundry needed to be done, or we needed more milk, I'd find these little post-it notes stuck to the fried with cash attached to them.

Hey, I didn't mind. It was like a really big allowance. A daily allowance. But the notes became more and more frequent and I started to forget that I even had a mother. Well, not really, but it was like, I dunno, we just so happened to live together. And she gave me cash. Cool or what? No lectures, on rules, no limits. Every teen's dream, huh?

Nope.

I must've been about 13 when I first thought of killing myself.

`This would make her stay home,' I'd say to myself when I'd tie electric extension to my bedroom door or teetered on the edge of my balcony.

But I could never bring myself to do it. I had written countless letters and even had my last will and testament all filled out. But then my plans would fall through.

I wanted to see her change. I wanted her to tell me how sorry she was. I wanted to see her cry, for me and not for some stupid thing that happened at work.

I love her, yes, but she wasn't my mother anymore. She was Nancy Takashi, Top Editor of Odiaba's top newspaper, hard working woman, divorced, guardian/parent of one.

I had seen it so many times on her résumés, bios, and in people's reviews. Guardian/parent of one. Guardian is even first. Feh, some guardian, if you ask me. She was a guardian of one, and I a badge/maid/burden to her.

I had no one to talk to about my day, or some one to hold me if I was tired and stressed. I was alone.

I couldn't go to my friends. What's the point in that? They wouldn't understand.

I tried going to my brother, but when he turned 17, he was always on something. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a jacked up stoner who keeps mumbling incoherent nothings? Not fun.

I never got to know my father. He turned out to be a workaholic too. Anyways, it would've been pointless. We never "bonded".

After realizing that I had no one, I decided to fuck everyone. I had myself, right? I thought that I could take care of myself, like I had been doing for years. Anyways, who could've helped me? I had fallen so low and disclosed, sucked into my own darkness.

That's when Stan showed up. He'd heard that Mr. High and Mighty Buyer Ishida had a lil' bro.

He approached me at a party I just so happened to attend. It was a high schooler party, but I would fit in just fine because I was `Matt's lil bro'.

So, Stan caught me in a corner. He offered me speed. I took it.

God, it was like everyone had ever said and more. I had energy, I could bounce around even though I was exhausted, I had this happy feeling even though I really was depressed.

Of course, at 13 I didn't have the money to pay for it. Sure, my mom would drop me a few 20s a day, and Stan gave me a weeks supply to start me up, but that shit really catches up with you.

Stan told me that dealing would be easy, and I was too jacked up to care at the moment. All I wanted was more.

All the high schoolers used to know me as "Ishida's lil bro". But now I was "Ishida's lil bro who has connections". Sure, it gave me a really bad rep, but getting the drugs was all I cared about, all I thought about.

You're probably wondering how the others never found out. Well, by the time I really started to get into it, everyone who was in high school was off to collage or some thing awfully close. Not that they'd really care, really. I mean, all the older knew about Matt's addiction, so why'd they be shocked to see little TK down the same road?

My other friends never suspected, but for different reasons. I'd sneak out at night (which really wasn't that hard since my mother wouldn't ever notice) and hang out at the parties. No one at the middle school went, so unless they had older siblings into the crap, they were oblivious to my new world. Oh, and I never got totally jacked up when at school. Too easy to get caught. And I always went clean during basketball season.

But I still always had debts to be paid, regardless if I had recently bought some for myself or not. Son I was dealing acid, speed, cocaine, anything that Stan could get into my hands. I'd sneak out, get to the party, chill for a bit, take my uppers (Stan had me on every upper he had, more than I could name or remember), and then deal the crowds. My life had turned into this giant thrill.

Of couse, it didn't last. The end came in February. One night Stan completely screwed me over. I don't exactly remember much, but, of course, I was totally high. But still self-conscious enough to remember what was said and basically what happened, although it's a bit fuzzy, and only half of the situation.

We were at a rave. Raves were cool. All the music, the energy, the drugs. It was the coolest. But, anyways, Stan pulled me out for a second. I thought he was gonna check up on me and gather his precious cash. But then I was backhanded.

He demanded that I pay him 750, right then. That I was falling behind on my payments.

I didn't understand. I had paid him every bill that I was given by buyers and all the cash I got from my mother. I told him this and he laughed in my face.

Apparently, all the money I made and paid wasn't enough to keep up with the new prices that were appearing on the market.

I couldn't take it anymore, my mind couldn't process what was happening and I blacked out.

I woke up the next morning at about 3 am in the alley behind my apartment. I had been beaten senseless, even though I was probably already jacked up enough to be senseless.

I didn't mind Stan kicking me to the curb. The uppers were starting to fade their effect on me anyways, and that would've lead to heavier shit. Although I'm sure that if I stayed I would've accepted them.

But, with that fucked up chaos out of my life, the only immediate problem was my addiction. So, I picked up smoking.

Stan was a waste of 8 months. 8 months of my life down the fucking drain. I told myself that I was going to move on, get better. Yea right.

The night that Stan threw me out, my mother didn't even notice my absence. Come to think of it, she never knew or suspected the late night parties or if I came come completely high. But, of course, I had tons of time to think of that. Being home alone a lot gives you that "benefit".

So, once again I was enveloped in my darkness, my abyss of nothingness, that god damned swirling vortex of nothingness. I was depressed all the time, not only from the loss of drugs and the loss of my "mother", but that no one noticed or cared.

I had been forgotten, become this nothing. A void. And I didn't do anything about it but get sucked deeper and deeper into it.

(((((((((((((((((((((((TBC))))))))))))))))))))))))))

ST: So? Whatcha think? Just four more chapters.

TK: Thank god.

ST: Now, FYI: Davis experience physical (the beating) and mental/psychological (his father blaming it all on him) abuse. TK got emotional (his mother not being there for him) and drug abuse. Sad, huh? Just knowing that there are more than one ways of abusing your child.

TK: How do you know this?

ST: It's just a sick sad world out there TK! Protect yourself! *sob*

TK: Okaaay. You need to chill.

ST: You're right. Please review.

TK: Until then…

[tbc]

okay, I have this really cool fan who asked why Dai isn't in my muse conversations anymore. So, since I'm too lazy to fix all the above, I've started this really weird, but totally cool kinda omake! Enjoy! ~ST

{DAI'S ADVENTURES PART 1}

Dai: Hi everybody!

Everybody: Hi Doctor Nick! (a/n: if you watch the Simpsons you get this)

Dai: Hee hee! I'm sneaking behind the scenes to see what ST and TK are up to.

(Dai peeks into a door that leads to a room that is dimly lit. It's too shadowy to see much, but he can barely make out a chick and a dude in a Gillian hat.)

Dai: Shhhh, be bwery bwery quiet. I'm awthorwes and muwse huntin'!

ST: Ah ha! We have it now, TK, don't we?

TK: Have what?

ST: Duhh! The perfect way to cut `em up!

TK: Do we have to? I really like `em.

ST: How much?

TK: A lot, lot.

ST: Really?

TK: Yea.

Dai (whispering): They must be talking about me! Cutting me up? What the hell…

ST: Well, well. I always knew you were funny. Not ha ha funny, either.

TK: Whatever.

ST: So, lets get rid of `em!

TK: Fine.

Dai: *gasp*(whispering) Get rid of, me?

ST: How should we do it?

TK: Quick and fast. I do have this thing for `em, you know.

ST: Nah! Slow and painful is mucho better.

TK: Fine, whatever.

Dai: (whispering): Oh, crap! I'm outta here.

(Dai runs away.)

TK: Hey, it's kinda dark in here. Let's turn on this lamp.

(The room is now fully visible. You see TK and ST standing over a ……… sandwich!)

ST: Turkey and lettuce! My fave!

TK: Yea, yea. Let's get this over with.

ST: Dude, do you really have a crush on this here sandwich?

(TK shrugs) TK: I like food, kay?

ST (rolling eyes): Just another Joey. (a/n: Friends fans, here you go.) Well, yummy food, here we go!

(ST divides the sandwich and they both have a lovely lunch/brunch.)

{end of DAI'S ADVENTURES PART 1}