Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ All About Soul ❯ One-Shot

Warning!! Shonen-ai ahead!! Turn back now if you don't like it!! Yamachi/Taito, Daiken, Mira, Jyoushiro, Hiyako, Takori!!!! Also, Character death ahead as well!! (no suicide) I am now committing myself on my own will… ^_^;;;

~*Yamato no Enkin*~

After all we've been through… you never once showed it… Never once did you ever show any of us, except maybe Kari… Hikari. God, how I envy her in a way. She always knew, always knew what you felt. Her and Agumon that is. They knew, just like my Otouto Takeru <TK>, and Gabumon knew about me. Maybe this one time they didn't. Maybe, just like me you tried to keep just one thing back, just one little thing that meant the world and meant the cosmos to you. That's what this really meant to me, Taichi.

I loved you for so long Taichi. I almost told you so many times… Like on the Ice Island, or when I came back to all of you?

That was our clue, huh Tai-chan? When you almost died in my arms? That was our warning…

Here we are all of us Digidestined. Everyone weeping bitterly into the arms of their loved ones, their soul mates. Except me, that is. I stand here tall and alone, tearstains down my cheeks. My eyes are red and puffy, except for the proof of my insomnia, the dark bruise-like bags under my eyes. They've been like that since you told us really. Told me actually, you there on the hospital bed paler than Ken is during winter. I was so shocked and you could see it in my eyes, you laughed it off but you ended up in pain and just before they rushed me away because of the disturbance on your monitors you slipped the paper in my hand with a sobbed apology. It echoes in my ears every now and then.

"Yamato, gommen nasi…Yama-chan…" then there was something else but the nurses in my ear drowned it out. I had thought it was what I always wanted you to tell me. Tell me what I really meant to you, so I could tell you what you really meant to me.

I look up at the digital sky, it's blue like you said my eyes are; blue as the sky when rain will come in a week, but the sun threatens them away. I had given you the weirdest look then… You blushed and said it was because of that creative writing class you were taking. You suddenly became interested in it when I mentioned I was taking it to help with my song writing. You joked how all my papers never seemed finished. I nearly finished something though, Tai-chan. Your song, our song. I started writing it when I read your letter to me. I described you to a point Taichi. From when we fought, to when you… when you passed. I wrote another one when you were sick… I meant to give it to you… But I'll have to wait to serenade you till I see you in the place above the heavens where you fly… my angelic savior…

That is exactly what you are Taichi-chan… My angel, my savior, my love, my friend…

Thinking on it now, Taichi… It's not as depressing that you went on… Now you really are what I saw you as, Tai-chan. An angel, the ever valiant angel who saved my life many times, who stood by me when no one else would, when my parents started fighting again after we defeated Apocalypmon. You met me in the park like I asked and wrapped me in a hug and told me that it wasn't my fault, that it could never be my fault because that was not my nature, not me, not my soul, nor my heart. I know that was when you really had all of my heart and would for all eternity.

You told me that I would make it, with or without my band when I said I wanted to be a famous rock star. Tai-chan… You promised me, Taichi-chan, that you would always be at my concerts and be my number one fan. You were there when I had writers' block, when I was depressed, when we were broke, when I thought I wouldn't make it passed losing Mia… You were ready to hunt her down and kill her. Heheh…

I showed up at your new apartment soaked because of the rain, crying because I had wanted to fall in love with her, and almost succeeded, and then she left. Not even that… She was making out with a guy where she had said to meet her. She stopped when she glimpsed me and as she pulled him up to get out of the rain that had started; she threw down the angel pendant I had given her. I had it when I showed up at your place, but after that I couldn't find it to take back… though, time to time… I thought I saw the gold chain around your own neck.

I was with you when you slipped into the last comma, Taichi. And I was there when they lowered you. So inappropriate for an angel to be buried, but I wasn't asked…

Hikari has almost constantly sobbed into Miyako's arms, while Takeru stands by with his arms protectively around a silent, sad-eyed Iori. Jyou and Koushiro stand solemnly watching them. Mimi and Sora stand near Miyako and Hikari as well. Daisuke and Ken are near me, Daisuke seems unsure of how to approach me. They are all afraid of how this will affect me. TK, he knows that I need my space when something tremendous like this happens. My poor Otouto-chan didn't know how to tell me he knew that I loved Taichi, or how to tell me to just tell because of the looks Tai gave said he loved me back.

Thinking totally out of the box now, I wonder if I had told him, would he have been able to fight? His father left only two months before he got really sick and didn't show back up till it was almost the end of the funeral. Hikari couldn't even look him in the face. None of us could. Tai was very close to his father. Tai had once said that he told his father that he couldn't leave Kari-chan and that was one of the two things keeping him here, in Odaiba. The other was the rest of the digidestined I know it. But as Agumon told me, mostly me. He could go to the digital world whenever he wanted, since the younger chosen defeated Malomyotismon we all have received D-3s.

My thoughts wander now more than they ever had… He kept them order, brightened my day with only his smile… With a mere touch, such as his hand gently on my shoulder, I was sent to heaven for a moment. I loved him with all my heart and was too afraid to tell him. And he himself, the Keeper of Courage and the wondrous leader that he was, was too afraid to tell me.

Back to what I was saying before I went off about why you wouldn't leave, before your father, too… Taichi-chan… Had I told you I love you, would you have kept fighting…? I know you lost your father, your sister has Miyako-kun, Sora-kun, Mimi-kun, and Takeru-chan at the least, but what about me Taichi? I break down now. I've fallen to my knees all out sobbing down onto the digital earth. I feel a hesitant hand on my shoulder; I glance up at Daisuke. He's got Taichi's eyes, smile, that same innocence as well. Both are naïve, but so caring.

~**~

"Yamato-sempai?" Daisuke asked hesitantly. He knew Yamato was suffering far too much. More so than Hikari-kun.

"Hai, Dai-kun?" voice rough, tears still spilling over from their cerulean prison. "What do you need?"

"No, Yamato-sempai. It's about what you need… Talk to us," he said gently. "Take-kun is very worried about you. He knows you need your space, we all do, but you've been taking this harder than Hika-kun. I know that you love Taichi-sempai… It's not past tense… You still do, but he wouldn't want you to kill your spirit. A dead and broken spirit can not fly when it comes it's time…" And just as Taichi had been insightful at times, so could Daisuke.

"He left me, Daisuke… He is my heart. My spirit, my soul, all was Taichi… He was my world…" Yamato sobs to the younger boy. He nods in understanding.

"The same with me and Ken-chan," he glanced to the violet haired boy standing nearby who gave them a sad yet reassuring smile. "Taichi-sempai would want you keep on living without him. He is still with you, Yama… He's you angel." Yamato looked up at him in surprise. The younger boy was very right… Yagami Taichi was Ishida Yamato's guardian angel.

Three weeks later….

~*Yamato no Enkin*~

This is the day, Taichi-chan… The songs I wrote for you, the world will hear them for the first time… The band doesn't know them… The melodies are simple. Very simple, a piano for both. No other instruments at all. No drums, guitars, nothing but a piano. If I get to make an album, maybe I'll add some strings, like a violin… I think that Ken was learning to play before you passed. I'll have to ask Dai-kun. You'd be proud of him Tai-chan. He has helped me cope without you. He, Ken, and Takeru would stop by as a group, or him and Takeru and on several occasions just him. He put me up to premiering both. He's not heard them, but insisted since this is a concert in your honor…

It was all my idea of course, Hikari-chan-s making a small speech before it starts, and then we, as in the band, play our songs and, to end, Mimi is reading a poem that sounded like you to Iori-kun, Jyou-kun, and Koushirou-kun. Takeru-chan, Miyako-kun, and Sora-kun made the programs. The layout actually, because Dai-kun has made the most amazing sketches and drawing of you. The cover is you as an angel. Though it makes us giggle a bit because you are an angel complete with your goggles and a soccer jersey and your sneakers. Dai-kun said it made you, you. The angelic look was given your charm and innocence when he drew you with those accents. Ken-kun helped to make advertisement. Not that it's hard to advertise Teen Age Wolf as you always joked to cheer me up when I complained about the band being broke. Getting back on track again, and after Mimi-kun reads the poem. I sing a few songs by one of your favorite American singers, Billy Joel, and your two songs that I wrote.

"Yamato-Sempai!!" I turn around with a small smile in place to where I'm being hailed.

As Dai-kun runs up to me, I see the youthful you for a minute. He stops and gives me that thumbs-up he's famous for. He has on a triangle T-shirt and brown board shorts. The spitting image of you actually. I lift an eyebrow as I glance over his attire. He laughs and hands me the music for a song by your singer. He grins a moment and looks nervous. But before I can ask, he gives me a hug and says, "Good luck, Yama-sempai!" I accept his wish and give thanks for bringing me the music I needed. He tells me it was nothing and says he needs to get out to the audience and see his Ken-chan. I tell him to hurry Hikari will be on in a minute twenty. He pales and runs for the stage door. I shake my head… He is so much like you…

Hikari's done… I've set the sheet music out for the song on the piano I'll use… Here we go…

~**~

The Teen Age Wolves played flawlessly and Yamato held himself together as he allowed himself to flow into his music. Mimi came out for her poem, as the band left. When she was done, the piano was rolled out and Yamato took his seat at it as his band took their positions for a few of the songs. The blonde musician adjusted the microphone and spoke clearly into it,

"Yagami Taichi was my best friend. We were closer than brothers. He was there for me when life was hard, as I was to him. Till the very end we stayed close. Taichi, you are very missed and I hope you can hear us up there, buddy." Yamato sat back a bit and started to play…

In the beginning

There was the cold and the night

Prophets and angels gave us the fire and the light

Man was triumphant

Armed with the faith and the will

That event the darkest ages couldn't kill

Too many kingdoms

Too many flags on the field

So many battles, so many wounds to be healed

Time is relentless

Only true love perseveres

It's been a long time and now I'm with you

After two thousand years

This is our moment

Here at the crossroads of time

We hope our children carry our dreams down the line

They are the vintage

What kind of life will they live?

Is this a curse or a blessing that we give?

Sometimes I wonder

Why are we so blind to fate?

Unseen to all, an angel had landed at the other end of the piano Yamato was playing. It was Yagami Taichi. He leaned on the piano staring dreamily at the blue-eyed blonde playing one of his favorite songs. He too was wondering why they had been so blind to their fate as soul mates, he and Yamato.

Without compassion, there can be no end to hate

No end to sorrow

Caused by the same endless fears

Why can't we learn from all we've been through

After two thousand years?

There will be miracles

After the last war is won

Science and poetry rule in the New World to come

Prophets and angels

Gave us the power to see

What an amazing future there will be

And in the evening

After the fire and the light

One thing is certain: nothing can hold back the night

Time is relentless

And as the past disappears

We're on the verge of all things new

We are two thousand years

Taichi moved slightly closer as the boy he still loved from beyond death played another of his favorite songs. Yamato was always so handsome when he sang, because he *became* his music. Taichi sighed a bit as he continued to watch.

In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep

From the mountains of faith

To a river so deep

I must looking something

Something sacred I lost

But the river is wide

And it's too hard to cross

And even though I know the river is wide

I walk down every evening and I stand on the shore

And try to cross to the opposite side

So I can finally find out what I've been looking for

In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep

Through the valley of fear

To a river so deep

And I've been searching for something

Taken out of my soul

Something I would never lose

Something somebody stole

I don't know why I go walking at night

But now I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore

I hope it doesn't take the rest of my life

Until I finally find what I've been searching for

In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep

Through the jungle of doubt

To a river so deep

I know I'm searching for something

Something so undefined

That it can only be seen

By the eyes of the blind

In the middle of the night

I'm not sure about a life after this

God knows I've never been a spiritual man

Baptized by the fire, I wade into the river

That flows into the Promised Land

In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep

Through the desert of truth

To the river so deep

We all end in the ocean

We all start in the streams

We're all carried along

By the river of dreams

In the middle of the night

"I would never break a promise to you Yamato-chan, you will always be my Koibito…" Taichi whispered as he moved even closer to his love. He was slowly inching his way next to him.

Another angel watched him from by Ken and Daisuke. Ichijouji Osamu knew what it was like to leave behind those who cared about you and those you care about. He looked to his Otouto-chan, Ken, who was snuggled deep into his beloved koi's arms. He also glanced to near Jyou and Koushiro, where Shin Kido was seated. `Shin-koi… I miss you…' thought the purple-haired angel as he floated next to him and sat down, leaning against *his* own love. Shin Kido glanced to his side when he felt an odd warmth and pressure. Seeing nothing he smiled, `Osa-koi… Ai shiteru…' The next song vaguely reminded Yamato of his Tai-chan, but he could remember Tai playing these three songs and one other, but the last one he couldn't remember. It irritated the blonde because Tai always changed it to that song when he came to visit. No matter what the circumstances. He had even hummed it when Yamato visited him in the hospital. `Tai will remind me later… I know it'

She waits for me at night, she waits for me in silence

She gives me all her tenderness and takes away my pain

And so far she hasn't run, though I swear she's had her moments

She still believes in miracles while other cry in vain

It's all about soul

It's all about faith and a deeper devotion

It's all about soul

`Cause under the love is a stronger emotion

She's got to be strong

`Cause so many things getting out of control

Should drive her away

So why does she stay?

It's all about soul

She turns to me sometimes and she asks me what I'm dreaming

And I realize that I must have gone a million miles away

And I ask her how she knew to reach out to me at that moment

And she smiles because it's understood there are no words to say

It's all about soul

It's all about knowing what someone is feeling

The woman's got soul

The power of love and the power of healing

This life isn't fair

It's gonna get dark, it's gonna get cold

You've got to get tough but that ain't enough

It's all about soul

There are people who have lost every trace of human kindness

There are many who have fallen there are some who still survive

She comes to me at night and she tells me her desires

And she gives me all the love I need to keep my faith alive

It's all about soul

It's all about joy that comes out of sorrow

It's all about soul

Who's standing now and who's standing tomorrow

You've got to be hard

Hard as the rock in that old rock `n roll

But that's only part, you know in your heart

It's all about soul

As the song ended, the rest of the band except Yamato left the stage. Taichi even found this odd. The only one who knew what really was happening was Daisuke, who had a huge grin on his face. Ken glanced at his boyfriend and knew immediately that the burgundy haired artist knew what was going on.

"These next two songs, were written for Taichi. Before and right after he died." Yamato was going to show the world exactly how he felt for his beloved Taichi-chan, even those from high above it. Taichi moved then to sit next to the blonde as he began the next melody. Osamu blinked then sighed and pressed closer to his Shin-koi.

Goodnight, my angel

Time to close your eyes

And save these questions for another day

I think I know what you've been trying to say

I promised I would never leave you

And you should always know

Wherever you may go

No matter where you are

I never will be far away

Goodnight, my angel

Now it's time to sleep

And still so many things I want to say

Remember all the songs that you sang for me

When we went sailing on an emerald bay

And like a boat out on the ocean

I'm rocking you to sleep

The water's dark

And deep inside this ancient heart

You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight, my angel

Now it's time to dream

And dream how wonderful your life will be

Someday your child may cry

And if you sing this lullabye

Then in your heart

There will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone

But lullabyes go on and on…

They never die

That's how you

And I

Will be

The crowd erupted into a sea of applause. Osamu had wrapped his invisible arms around his Shin during the song, while his other heavenly companion on the stage just happened to be crying his eyes out next to his beloved. Osamu's heart reached out to his new friend, Taichi hadn't told Yamato how he felt, and it seemed to go both ways. The next song was the last and Taichi didn't know if it could show Yamato's love anymore. But in his opinion after he heard it, it did.

I'll turn my courage into wings

And fly away soon

No matter when

I'll always believe in you

If I'm with you

I can cross over to the other side of the sky

No matter how hard it seems

It will be all right

That's right

We're unfinished dreamers

We'll stick out chests out to the wind as we go

I'll turn my courage into wings

And fly away now

Unafraid of making mistakes

I'll turn my courage into wings

And fly away soon

No matter when

I always believe in you

There are times when I can't be strong

Times when I'm disappointed in myself

I'll keep trying

Because I have to

That's right

We're dreamers of the future

We've got to make our hearts evolve, too

I'll turn my courage into wings

Let's start from here

Even if I have to do it a 100 times, I'll get it right

I'll turn my courage into wings

Let's start soon

No matter when

I always believe in you

I'll turn my courage into wings

And fly away now

Unafraid of making mistakes

I'll turn my courage into wings

And fly away soon

No matter when

I always believe in you

Backstage in Yamato's dressing room:

"Yama-chan…" Taichi whispered as the blonde sat looking at a picture of him. And for the first time that night Yamato heard his voice.

"Tai-chan…?" he asked looking up and seeing his beloved angel, literally. Yamato had Taichi in his arms so fast, that even Tai was surprised.

"Yama-chan… you wrote those for me?" the brown-haired one asked. His love nodded eyes showing joy and sadness all at once.

"Tai-chan, I'm sorry… that I didn't say anything…."

"Me too, Yama-koi… Me too… Yama-chan… You forgot one of my songs!" The teen angel told him suddenly remembering that he *had* to remind his Yama-chan of this.

"Gommen, Tai-chan… I couldn't remember what it was. You tell me," he said leaning his forehead against the other's.

"You forgot? Yama, it's the song that always reminded me of you! Blonde Over Blue!" he giggled tapping Yamato on the forehead and the nose.

The two stayed that way for a few minutes, before they shared a kiss. Slowly, Taichi pulled reluctantly from Yamato's embrace. He placed his bronzed hand on the other's cheek. "Ai shiteru, Ishida Yamato…" He said as Osamu appeared behind him, solemnly. He knew that they were able to watch over them, but very few people could really talk with angels… Maybe Yamato could, then he'd be able to give messages to Ken-chan and Shin-koi…

"Ai shiteru, Yagami Taichi…" Yamato whispered as the two angels began to fade. "Ai shiteru till forever…."