Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Bed of Lies (v. 2.1) ❯ No Rest for These Tired Eyes ( Chapter 5 )

A/N: Look, I'm updating! Yay! Yamato goes to Taichi's apartment in this chappie, and the ice is *broken*. No confessions of bad horrible secrets, yet, however. That's still two chapters away. ^_^ But you get a glimpse of how utterly messed up they both are in this one.

Unrequited love's a bitch, after all. Poor Taichi. ^_^But he won't have to suffer to much longer. Especially since I combined two chapters into one with this chapter. So that's one less chapter you have to wait for. Yay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[No I would not sleep in this bed of lies

So toss me out and turn in And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes

I'm marking it down to learning

I am]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yamato-" Sora's voice, though anxious, did not sound as worried as Yamato had feared it might have. "You could have at least told me that you ran into him!"

"I didn't think it was that important," he said honestly, eyes wide.

"It's alright," she conceded. "Just keep in mind that the less I know, the more I'm going to worry."

He nodded, then drew back from her, his expression changing to unreadable but for the faraway look in his eyes. "You're going to worry anyways."

"Yes, well," she said, a small but true smile curling her lips. "Just let me know if there's anything I can-"

He raised a hand, cutting her off. "Its not -" He paused, then started again. "This is something I think I need to do alone."

She blinked, taken aback. "Well- well, okay, if that's what you want."

"Thanks," he whispered, grateful that she had not pushed the issue any further. "I do need to go, though."

"Yes," she said softly. "I suppose you do."

"I had hoped that he and I could talk this through on the phone, but-" he paused, his mouth twitching into a bitter smile. "-it's hard to talk to a dial tone."

"Well,-" she paused as he lightly kissed her forehead. "-Take care.."

"I will." The door made a soft click as it closed behind him.

A loud, irritating noise cut through the air, causing Daisuke to jump and Taichi to glare angrily at the offending buzzer. Standing up, Daisuke looked at Taichi, bewildered.

"You're not expecting anyone, are you?" He asked.

"No, I'm not." Taichi shook his head, sitting up straighter. "I was about to go to bed, actually."

"Huh," Daisuke remarked, heading to the buzzer. He pushed the intercom button, and asked very formally, "yes?"

"Uhm-" Yamato's nervous, and slightly startled voice caught in his throat for a moment. "Is Taichi home? If he's not, I'll leave."

"Hey," Daisuke turned towards Taichi, taking his hand away from the intercom button. "Are you home?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?"

"Well, Yamato needs some kind of answer."

"Yamato-?" Taichi spat, nearly falling out of his chair. "I'm not here! I'm not here!"

"Uh, sure," Daisuke said, turning back to the intercom, eyebrows raised. Pushing the button once more, he replied, "He says he's not home."

"Daisuke!!!" Taichi jumped up from his chair, running towards Daisuke, who promptly removed his hand from the intercom button. Bringing a fist down on his friend's skull, he whispered to him angrily, "what is wrong with you?!"

"A lot of things," Daisuke replied. "But I'm not letting you send him away. He's come pretty damn far just to talk."

"Well, good for him," Taichi said angrily, slapping Daisuke's hand away from the buzzer button that would let Yamato in. He looked at Daisuke sharply, before turning away from him. "I'm going to bed now. I really don't care if that puts a damper on whatever plans he had."

Daisuke rolled his eyes, and watched Taichi skulk down the hallway to his bedroom. When he was certain Taichi was in his room, door closed, he hit the intercom button. "Yamato, you still down there?"

"Ah- yeah, I am," Yamato answered hastily, obviously startled. "Has he decided to stop acting like a five year old?"

"No, but I'm gonna let you in anyway," Daisuke said, pushing the enter button.

"Uhm, thanks," was all Yamato said before opening the door as it buzzed loudly at him.

The hamper fell with a loud clunk as it hit the floor with the force of the kick Taichi had sent at it. Grumbling, he righted it and began undressing himself. I thought I was the one who didn't know how when to stop pushing! I can't remember there ever being time when he seemed so stubborn. As he stood up, and threw the clothes he had just removed into the hamper, he realized something. He never seemed this stubborn because he never needed to force me to tell him anything.

The sound of footsteps outside his closed door shook his thoughts away. Daisuke..? No, his steps are heavier than those. Taichi continued to listen, and only when the soft steps stopped right outside his door did he realize who it was. The doorknob turned before Taichi had anytime to react to his recognition of Yamato's light footsteps, much less before he realized he was wearing nothing but boxers.

"Do you not know how to knock?!" Taichi hissed, rather loudly, while glaring at Yamato as the other man stepped over the threshold.

"I figured it would be more effective to argue with you face to face than through a door," Yamato replied simply, closing the door quietly behind him. At the seething look he received for his remark, he added, "Or a phone line."

"Look, it's not my fault you don't know how to take a hint!" Taichi exclaimed in irritation.

"Oh, I don't how to a take a hint?" Yamato asked incredulously, sitting down on the bed. "Have you listened anything I've said to you?"

"I've heard too much, thank you," Taichi said, casting a sideways glower at Yamato as he pulled a t-shirt over his head and sat down on his bed.

"That doesn't mean anything," Yamato muttered, looking away from Taichi. "Considering that you aren't even listening now."

"Why should I listen to you," Taichi began softly, staring at his lap. "When you've yet to listen to me."

"I did listen," Yamato said earnestly, turning to look at Taichi, his eyes pleading with the other man. "I don't understand why you would say those things. Why can't you just-"

"I can't just-" Taichi paused, looking away from Yamato. "-It doesn't matter anymore, okay? What's done is done, so just let me get on with my life, alright?"

"But it does matter, and you're doing a very bad job of hiding that," Yamato said, attempting to make eye contact with Taichi. "And I don't think you'll be able to "get on with your life" until you face that fact."

"I was doing just fine before you showed up again," Taichi said softly.

"No, you were just able to run away easier, and so was I," Yamato said frankly. "But-" he paused, not sure how to say what he wanted to say, "-I realized something when I saw you on that beach... I was given a chance to start over, Taichi, to make things right!"

"But-" Taichi looked at Yamato, really looked at him for the first time that night. He...he really means that...Oh god, oh God. Taichi felt everything he'd forced away spill through him in a great wave. "At what cost, Yamato? I don't either of us can go back to where we were.."

"That's not what I'm asking, Taichi. I don't want that at all," Yamato replied, shaking his head, and smiling a genuine smile. "I want it be better. No lies. No running."

"Do you think its that easy? To end lies that have no end," Taichi said heatedly. "And to stop running when neither of us can remember what it's like not to run?"

"The lies won't seem so endless when we do stop running," Yamato replied, as if were an obvious answer. "And that's what I'm offering to do, Taichi. I want to stop running from you, but I can't do that until you stop too."

Taichi looked at Yamato, his eyes narrowed in thought. I began running long before you knew anything was wrong... I've been running so long, I think I may have stopped and dug myself into a hole to keep from getting any further away. Taichi looked at his hands in an effort to not look at Yamato. I'm trapped, Yamato, in a hole full of my despairs and wishes, my love and my fear.

"Taichi?" Yamato had sat down next to Taichi on the bed while Taichi had briefly lost himself to his thoughts. He stretched a hand towards Taichi, who automatically swatted it away.

"Ah-" Taichi had not been expecting any sort of physical advance, and was taken aback. He instantly wished he hadn't let himself be, but could do little about it besides continue to be cold towards the other man. "Don't touch me-"

"I didn't mean-" Yamato cut him off, without realizing it and without knowing what he was going to say. "-It just sort of happened. I didn't realize what I was doing...I let me instincts get the better of me. It- it won't happen again.." Saying the last bit left a bad taste in his mouth, though he wasn't sure why.

"Good," Taichi said, standing up, if for no reason other than to distance himself from Yamato. I forgot what its like to be so...close. A shiver ran through him.

"Taichi-" Yamato understood exactly what Taichi was doing, could see how he was attempting to keep himself distanced. Damn it. I think I was actually getting somewhere...but no, I had to go and fuck it up. Yamato scowled as his thoughts continued to darken.

"We can..still talk," Taichi said quietly, upon seeing the look on the other man's face. Its not like I'm trying to hurt him...but I can't just give in. "..I guess."

"We can-?" Yamato looked startled at this, but his expression brightened at hearing it. "But I thought-"

"Look, I just said I'm willing to talk, okay?" Taichi glared at him. "Don't read anything into, alright?"

"Alright, I won't." Yamato blinked at this display of defensiveness. "But do you have to stand so far away? At least sit back down."

"I..I guess," Taichi closed his eyes, and sat back down next to Yamato. I can feel the heat from his body, just sitting next to him and we're not even that close. If he comes any closer- oh, I don't want to think about it, I can't. Taichi was beginning to realize what keeping his desires, both emotional and physical, bottled up was doing to him. He glanced over at Yamato, and unintentionally made eye contact as he was unable to look away from the concerned look on the other man's face. "Ah-"

"Oh. Uhm-" Yamato turned away unexpectedly, and found himself wondering what had just happened. He looked so vulnerable just now- like he'd fall apart if I so much as touched his arm. Turning his eyes back towards Taichi, Yamato attempted to regain his composure, to act as if he hadn't noticed anything.

"I- I don't think I'm going to be much for- for talking tonight," Taichi said uncertainly, his eyes now glued to his lap.

"Then let me talk," Yamato said, looking at Taichi, trying his hardest to mask his concern. "Just promise me you'll listen."