Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Bed of Lies (v. 2.1) ❯ This Bed of Lies ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: Hot damn, Its finally done. This is chapter 1 of 11, but don't worry, the other chapters will probably not be this long. This one sure wasn't supposed to be this long. I'm not sure how I managed to make it this long. Anyways, I'll not talk here long since I've already put you through that horrible intro.

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[No I would not sleep in this bed of lies

So toss me out and turn in

And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes

I'm marking it down to learning

I am]

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The day began like any other. Taichi was woken by the sounds and smells of his roommate's cooking. He sat up, noting how dark his small bedroom felt that day. But before he could speculate what it might mean, his roommate had his head poked through his door, and was sending him an unamused look.

"Hurry the hell up. I want to eat."

"You can always eat without me, you know."

"You know I don't like doing that."

"You don't have to be so considerate."

"Look, just because I have manners-"

He was cut off by a pillow hitting him square in the face. Which was followed by Taichi's high pitched giggle. He was too annoyed to say anything. Which only made Taichi giggle more. Taichi straightened up when he saw that Yamato had that familiar homicidal glint in his eyes.

"Sorry, sorry. Couldn't help myself."

"You never can."

"I know," Taichi grinned a bit impishly. "I'm getting up now, though."

Yamato raised an eyebrow, as Taichi had made no move yet to leave his bed.

"I swear!"

Yamato rolled his eyes and left the room. Taichi watched him leave. Or, rather, he stared at Yamato's butt as he left. As he did nearly every other morning that began this way. He then hastily slid out of bed and got dressed, not wanting to piss off his friend any more than he already had. When he reached their small kitchenette, he found his friend as grumpy as he'd been during their previous exchange.

"Took you long enough."

"Took me all of five minutes," Taichi sent him a slightly icy stare.

Yamato sighed, now wishing he hadn't been so cold. "I'm sorry..I'm kind of on edge today."

"Oh?" Taichi looked up from his food, meeting Yamato's tense gaze. "Why's that?"

"I-" Yamato looked down briefly. "I'm..gonna..I'm gonna ask her."

Taichi felt his jaw, not to mention his heart, drop. "Say what?"

"You heard me. I'm going to ask her."

"When? How?"

"At lunch. I'm..not really sure how I'm going to..to say it."

"Not going to hide the ring in her food?"

"God no. Besides, I don't have a ring yet."

"And you expect her to say yes," Taichi raised an eyebrow. " To a guy who can't even buy a ring?"

"Oh shut up," Yamato sent a disdainful stare at his friend. "I'm sure she's going to say yes anyways."

"Then why are you so nervous?"

"I-" Yamato considered for a moment. "I don't know."

"I think," Taichi said, giving his friend a very direct, and very knowing look. "I think that you're afraid of actually settling down."

Yamato blinked. The thought had actually not crossed his mind, even once. And now that he though about it he wasn't sure it was quite that simple. I'm not sure if I can call anywhere other than here home. I mean, isn't home supposed to be where you feel safe, and wanted? Even when we're fighting, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here.

"Knock knock, anyone home in there?" Taichi said softly, but still with noted sarcasm. Somehow, he had snuck up behind Yamato, slinging his left arm around neck while at the same time rapping on his skull as if Yamato were some kind of doorknocker.

"No, we're out right now, go away," Yamato turned his face up and around to give Taichi an amused look. "I was just..thinking about what you said.."

"Am I right?"

"In..in a way.."

"Which means..?"

"I-" Yamato looked up, somewhat suddenly. "We'll talk later, okay?"

Taichi looked a little taken aback, but didn't make any move to say so. "Yeah, I guess."

Yamato stood up abruptly, causing Taichi to nearly fall over. As Taichi gained his composure, he noticed the sullen look in his friend's eyes. Yamato seemed to be mulling something over in his head, and quite intensely at that. Is he thinking about his proposal again? No, his brain doesn't switch gears like that. I must have hit a nerve unintentionally. But the fact that he seems so affected must mean that I did the right thing, bringing that up and all. Although it seems like its been awhile since he looked so doubtful about anything. I hope I didn't break his heart, even indirectly. As much as the idea of Him marrying Sora sickens me, the thought of Yamato losing yet another thing dear to him sickens me even more. He doesn't deserve to lose her, even if I wish he would.

"Taichi? Taichi, I'm leaving now," Yamato frowned, looking at his friend with a concerned look on his face. "Are you going to stay goodbye?"

"Huh? Oh, I guess I slipped into thought myself," Taichi grinned sheepishly, feeling a bit foolish. "When do you think you'll be home tonight?"

"Around six. We can talk some more then, alright?"

"Sounds good. See you later."

Yamato made to leave, but instead turned around and hugged his friend. He ran out very quickly, leaving Taichi to ponder whether he should be happy or just confused.

Taichi got home that night around 6:15, expecting to find Yamato waiting for him Instead he came home to find a hastily written note explaining that he wouldn't be home until much later, much to Taichi's annoyance. He felt is heart sink a little bit, as he'd been looking forward to seeing him, even just for the sake of being able to talk for a decent amount of time. Taichi crumpled the note angrily and threw away before lazily sitting down in the slightly cramped living room.

Oh well. I really shouldn't have expected any more of him. He's probably at Sora's having a great time. I was stupid to get so excited over that hug this morning. He's done things like that more time than I can count, and yet I though it would mean anything more this time than it did any other time? God, I am hopeless. But this morning was rather odd. And I don't think he's ever hugged me goodbye before..

Taichi got up and looked out the window, wondering how he had let things slide this far. And whether he cared to let them go any more. He'd had years to do something, years that had only let Yamato's relationship with Sora become deeper and deeper. He cursed himself for being so stupid and sat down again.

How old was I when I realized how deep my feelings ran? 15? No, it was my sixteenth birthday. Yamato thought it would be funny to glomp me while his brother took a picture at my party. I remember everyone laughing at how red I got when he did that. It wasn't the first time he'd made me blush, just the first time I'd known why. And the reason scared the hell out me back then. Thinking back, Taichi realized his crush had been rather obvious, and began to wonder why Yamato hadn't noticed then. I know why he doesn't notice now; because I make sure he doesn't. But back then.. I was so nervous around him after I realized how I felt. He definitely noticed that. He was just to busy with his girlfriend to figure out why. I wouldn't be surprised if the thought has never crossed his mind.

Taichi stared intently at the clock on the wall opposite him. It was now nearly Eight o'clock. Yamato's note said he'd be home around 8:30, though Taichi didn't trust that. He wouldn't start getting worried unless Yamato was gone past midnight without calling. He sighed, leaning back in his chair, feeling bored out of his mind and increasingly angry at Yamato. Most times, I usually have no right to be mad at him, but I really hate when he says he'll be home early so we can talk, and then doesn't show. I really do. I mean, what right does he have to ditch me like this? Taichi frowned, trying to remember when the last time was that Yamato had actually kept his word about something like this. It was before he started dating Sora. Taichi's eyes widened with realization. Oh God, don't tell me she's the reason. Oh God..I can't believe I didn't notice this trend earlier. He never ditched me, or anyone else for that matter, before he started dating her. Taichi felt like punching the wall. He never ditched anyone except his dad for me..but yet he'll ditch anyone and everyone for her.

He felt his heart drop, much further than it had dropped earlier. He felt like crying, but didn't know what for, since he knew he had no real right to feel this way. He has no idea what he's doing. How could he? I've never told him anything of how I feel. What right have I got to put any blame on him? I'm the one who's breaking my heart by staying silent.

Yamato glanced around the dark bedroom, and wondered what exactly he was doing. His day had gone smoothly enough, though he did feel a bit guilty about breaking his promise to Taichi about being home at six. But not guilty enough to do anything about right then. He sat up, nervously running his fingers through his hair. Why the hell am I nervous? And about what? Its not like he's gonna disown me as a friend after tonight or anything. At least I don't think so. But then, I have been breaking meeting times, times I'd promised to see him, talk to him, a lot recently. Yamato shook his head, angry at himself for thinking Taichi would ever be unforgiving of him. No, if he was upset about it, he'd tell me. I know he would.

Wouldn't he?

At that moment, the door opened. Sora glided in and perched on the bed next to him. Her wet hair was wrapped in a towel, but otherwise she was stark naked. She also seemed to be glowing a bit, something which reminded Yamato of why he was here.

"Yamato? Are you still awake?"

"Yeah," he turned his head to face her. She smiled.

"You can go take a shower now, if you want," she motioned towards the bathroom adjacent to her bedroom with his foot.

Yamato considered for a moment, then shook his head. "Nah, I think I'll pass tonight. I need to call Taichi though..I kind of told him I would be home at 8:30.."

"Don't you think you should keep your promises to him at least some of the time?"

"Hey, if anything was wrong, he'd say so."

Yamato glanced at her oddly before getting up and leaving her alone in the room. He chanced a look at the time before picking up the phone and speed dialing his own phone number. Almost ten. I really hope he's as forgiving as I assume him to be.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Um," Yamato fidgeted a bit. "Hi."

"Hi yourself," The answer was more than a little unamused. Taichi had obviously been stewing in his own juices for a bit too long. "I was beginning to think you had died."

"Haha," Yamato wasn't liking the tone Taichi's voice was taking. "Umm, I-"

Taichi cut him off. "You're not gonna be home. I get it. She's more important than keeping promises, to me or to anyone else."

Yamato nearly dropped the phone. "Taichi, don't you think you're exaggerating just a little?"

"Not really. Although I really ought to congratulate you on getting my hopes up today. You really had me going."

"I honestly meant what I said earlier. It's just that-"

"That you accidentally made a date with her instead? I'm really not in the mood to hear your stupid excuses."

"I.." Yamato wasn't sure how to respond. He didn't want a fight, but the conversation certainly seemed to be heading that direction. "I'm sorry.."

"Too late," Yamato could hear something other than anger in his friend's voice when he said that. "It's too damn late!"

Pain? God, if I was hurting him so much, why didn't he say something?

"Taichi.."

"Don't! I'm sick of you and your..your pity! I'm sick of it!!"

"Pity?" Yamato was starting to feel a little confused. But at the same time, he found himself growing angry. "How can you say that? You're my best friend, how can you say I don't actually care?"

"Because you don't! You break promises, you never talk to me anymore..." Taichi swallowed the tears that wanted to make themselves known. "You couldn't care less!"

"You're not even going to give me a chance to fix things?"

"A chance? A chance? You've had plenty!"

"No I haven't!" Yamato was definitely angry now. "When have you said anything? How am I to know if something's wrong if you don't tell me?!"

"Why don't you ever notice what you're doing?! You should be able to tell if you're making a mistake yourself!"

"How am I supposed to know if I'm hurting you if you don't say anything?!"

"I shouldn't have to!" Taichi couldn't believe how stupid Yamato was being. "I can't believe how blind you've become!"

"Blind? About what? Taichi, you aren't making sense!"

"Maybe you haven't noticed," Taichi could feel a lump forming in his throat. "But Sora isn't the only person besides you in your life!"

Yamato's fingers trembled with a combination of rage and some other emotion he couldn't identify as he uttered his mindless, but quite life altering retort.

"Just because you're my best friend," he was finding it difficult not to clench his jaw in anger. "You think I shouldn't have a life beyond you, is that it?"

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Sure sounded like it to me." He hung up.

Taichi wasn't sure why, but he cried himself to sleep that night. Yamato however, felt that this was the push he had needed to make up his mind about Sora.

Yamato came home a few days later, hoping to make amends, but to no avail.

"You actually think I'm going to even think about letting this go?!"

"I was hoping maybe the maturity level on your end had risen while I was gone," Yamato sent him a serious look of contempt for the first time since they were twelve. "Seems I was wrong to get my hopes up."

Taichi, on the other hand, sat down at the kitchen table and seemed determined not to make any kind of visual contact with Yamato. "You're not one to talk about being mature."

"I never put you through this when you ask me to forgive you for something," Yamato was angry to the point of being slightly infuriated, much more angry than he had been at any point during their argument over the phone. "You, on the other hand insist on holding grudges that you later refuse to explain!!"

"That's because it doesn't matter to you." Taichi said this with much more coolness than he was actually feeling.

"Are you saying that if it did, I would never forgive you, and then not even tell you why I won't? Is that it?"

Taichi looked at him this time. He had the piercing stare of someone who had been crying a lot and not getting enough sleep. Yamato, of course, blocked this out. "If you cared, you wouldn't drop things the minute I asked you. It pisses me off when you do that, but you wouldn't know that would you?"

Its pissed Yamato off to hear his friend talk to him like this. It also tore him up inside, but he wouldn't admit that, not even to himself, for a very long time. Instead, he said something stupid for the second time.

"Well, if pisses me off when you hold grudges against me for no reason, but you don't see me starting shit fights over them do you?" He turned to face the door, intending to leave right then, but though of something else to say first. "Goodbye. Don't expect to see me again for a very long time."

He made sure to slam the door as hard as he could when he left. Taichi felt his forehead make contact with the table, and a soft thud. He had no idea what had just happened; he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

It took two weeks of hearing nothing from or about Yamato before Taichi even began to believe he was really gone. It wasn't until Takeru came by to collect a few things for his brother that the realization really started to sink in. He didn't even know that Yamato and Sora were married until two months after the ceremony took place. It didn't really bother him. What bothered him most was trying to figure out why the powers that be were putting him through this. He spent a lot of sleepless nights thinking, and most others crying. His resolution came to him on a sleepless night, not long after he was told of the wedding.

If I get a second chance, things will be different. I'll tell him. If I don't, I don't know how I'll be able to live with myself...