Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ beside the river bank ❯ Confusion ( Chapter 3 )

**disclaimer** same old same old… I don't own digimon or tai or yama or ken or daisuke or the kaizer. Or Koushiro. La. I do however own the story. And some soon to come characters. You'll see ;D

Daisuke's POV

Eyelids drooped heavy over my eyes. I'd gotten almost no sleep last night… nightmares, and worrying, and just having too much on my mind. Arg.

I walked through the halls, every so often bumping into some poor soul who happened to not watch where they were going. Hell, I wasn't moving any more then I absolutely had too. I was, on the other hand, keeping at least a partially sharp eye out for a blue head bobbing through the crowds.

As another person shoved past me in the morning rush, I spotted Ken's backpack through the crowds, and sped up my pace.

Why, why did he have to walk so fast?

I finally caught up with him. Reacting on my first instinct I grabbed the handle on his backpack, trying to get his attention. I got his attention.

He turned around to face me, the speed of his turn throwing his indigo hair into his eyes, and stopping so quickly that people behind us slammed into my back.

I stumbled back a little. I thought for a minute I may have snagged the wrong person. His eyes didn't hold the warmth they had the day before. His eyes were cold. But it was undoubtedly Ken.

After turning so sharply, he turned back the way he was going, and continued his journey down the crowded hall. I just stood there starring.

"No way…"

Ken's POV

I hadn't felt like this in a long time.

I felt empty. I felt the way the Kaizer's eyes looked. (that cold stare of his never ceased to frighten me. It's like he had never felt an emotion…)

I walked down the over-crowded hall way, shoving people who came to close out of my way. I wanted nothing to do with them. I wanted nothing to do with ANYONE.

Oh you know you do. Come on now, think, who do you really want to see?

I swatted my mental other half away, thinking about how the Kaizer's cold laugh would echo through my reflection if he knew I was talking to myself.

I didn't want to see Daisuke. And besides, the Kaizer was right. He'd probably avoid me anyway.

Just about then, something tugged me backwards. I whirled around half expecting some bullying asshole to be standing there waiting to steal something. He'd leave with a fucking bloody nose if I had even one second to----

Daisuke?

I stopped, giving myself enough time to make eye contact.

`No. No. no no no no no no'

I saw something flicker in his eyes. Heh. Who was he expecting? I turned myself around again, stalking off down the hall, and pushing through the screaming mobs of annoying minors.

I could feel his eyes on my back all the way down the hall.

As soon as I got around the corner, into the second hall, I bolted. I had to get away. FAR away.

`why, why the hell do I have to do this?? why wont I face him…'

I didn't notice the tears falling away from my eyes as I ran through the hallways. My destination, of course, the boys bathroom.

Or to be more exact, the boys mirror.

Daisuke's POV

I started walking again, however slowly. My mind wouldn't quite wrap around the look in his eyes. Then again, my mind would wrap around very little at the moment…

/BANG/

Everyone in the hallway stopped. They all looked around, and some tugged their friend's arms to walk the other way. I just rolled my eyes. Some moron probably brought a cap gun to school again.

I was about to start on my way to my locker again. No point in hanging around, the little minors would get used to these sorts of pranks eventually.

And then someone screamed.

Ken's POV

I pushed the heavy door of the boys bathroom out of my way. Leaving all the loud noise to give way for the calm quietness of the bathroom was soothing.

I looked into the mirror across from the bathroom stalls. I had never tried to see him in any mirror other then the one in my room before. I wondered if it might not work.

Locking the bathroom door so as not to attract any unwanted questions, I whispered his name.

"Kaizer…"

and sure enough, something that started out as a light mist slowly emerged into the form I had grown used to.

And as I might have expected, his eyes reminded me of black ice.

"this is unexpected. What's the occasion? Dumped by your new love?"

I glared at the mirror and he smirked.

"so what is it then."

I was surprised. Normally he'd have his arms draped all over my reflection by now.

"I… just wanted some company."

"ah ha" he then moved to wrap his arms around my waist. But something about the way he moved, and the way he was looking at me…

he had somewhere better to be. I had called him away from something more important then keeping poor little Ken company.

But none the less, I stayed with my reflection wrapped in his arms for a time. Contact like that was comforting… even if I wasn't actually being touched.

I backed away eventually, missing the touch as soon as it left my body. "I have to go to class."

"mm hmm" he was already turning to go. "have fun then, Ken."

I think it was the first time he had called me by my name when he wasn't taunting me. Nn…

I turned and left the boys bathroom, starting to make my way up the noisy hall to my classroom. I was probably going to be late. Whatever. Who the fuck cares.

BANG

Shooting pain echoed through my body.

I noticed the ground two inches from my face.

And then someone screamed.

Daisuke's POV

I ran.

I can't say I've ever moved faster in my life.

`oh god, please no, please'

But I knew.

`common Ken, please, please be okay'

I turned the corner at a run, and smashed into a cluster of people. I always found it curious why people are automatically attracted to anything negative that happens.

I pushed through the hoards of people, earning many glares and jabs I couldn't have noticed less.

After what seemed like forever, I pushed my way into the center.

He was laying on his side, back facing me, curled into a small human ball.

Indigo hair spread out like rays of light from his head. And I could see blood soaking through the back of his shirt.

I dove to his side, and rolled him over onto his back.

He flinched at my touch.. I held him like that, and he moaned, and swatted at me.

"why weren't any of you down here with him?!" I yelled up at the mass of people around me, unable to focus on anything. "why didn't you try to help him?!?"

I pulled him up against me, letting his head rest on my shoulder.

His breathing was so slow… it sounded as though it hurt him to do so.

I turned my face and rested my forehead on his. It was all I could do to hide the tears that were slowly building. I winced gritted my teeth against them.

I shuddered.

It's happening again…

`Ken…….'

* * * * * * *

It had seemed like forever before the ambulances had come. So long before anyone came to help Ken. But for some reason I still relished the contact we were sharing, his head cradled against my shoulder… still held on when they tried to pull him away from me.

They wouldn't let me go with them. They wouldn't let me stay by his side.

All I could do was stand there as the crowds dispersed, and listen to the sirens and flashing lights as they faded into nothingness.

* * * * * * * *

I stood in the middle of my room.

I remembered the feeling of his head against my shoulder.

I remembered the sound of his pained breathing against me.

I remembered how much I relished the feeling of his body resting against mine…

`What's wrong with me?'

I crouched down and wrapped my arms around my knees. It was my fault. If I hadn't come up to him and confronted him like that…

`then he wouldn't be in that hospital right now…'

I closed my eyes to tears that were softly sliding down my cheeks.

"Ken… why did it have to be him… why not one of the teachers… or one of the fucking minors… or me!! why did it have to be him?!"

I yelled at no one.

It was my fault. I could have stopped him. If it wasn't for me, this wouldn't have happened.

I don't bring anything but trouble for the people I care about.

`Well that IS why I was transferred after all…'

My old best friend had killed himself…

I had been there when he jumped.

Despite the way I had acted with ken… I wasn't new to the whole cutting business. I had seen it tones of times on Koushiro.

But it's weird…I never felt the way I did with Koushiro the way I had when I saw ken like that. I had never held Izzy like that…

`I miss him..'

But that had been why I had been transferred. Staying at that school would have been way too hard.

Heh… so many times… so many people that I'd hurt…

` but I never learn. I should have stayed away from ken as soon as I started liking him… I should have known something like this would happen…'

I rested my wet face in my hands.

I don't know.. whats wrong. I don't know what this means.

` I think…. I think I love him……….'

**wee uu! (la li hooo! Sorry <_< >_> ) er, yes. Sorry this chappy is sort of short o_O but, still good?

If you guys read this and like it, or read it and hate it, or just read it… please gimme reviews!! I am a comment whore, and I'll get unmotivated REALLY fast. Geh. I'm a loser T_T oh well!

*hearts* to all. Hope anyone who's reading it is enjoying it so far! ^o^