Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Degrees of Protection ❯ Protected ( Chapter 2 )

Izumi Koushirou was deep in the bowels of his computer when the sound came at the door. He paused for a moment, not quite certain if he'd heard it at first, then went back to his work. Just my imagination.

He was about to plunge back into disemboweling the things inside when another knock came, too loud and too clear for it to be anything else. Who the heck is it this time? He was in an uncharacteristically bad mood at the moment; somehow a virus had sneaked past his protections and had wreaked havoc on his hard drive. Whoever was at the door was going to get it, badly.

As he opened the door, the person on the other side threw himself onto Koushirou, sobbing like some kind of maniac. "I...I...I didn't know where else to go!"

The redhead did a double take. "Yamato?" It was the usually elegant and refined blonde, now reduced to a rather pathetic pile of tears, and clinging to Koushirou's shirt like a lifeline. "What is it?" His ex-boyfriend looked up at him, revealing a badly bruised cheek.

Koushirou found himself frowning; he might have broken up with Yamato, but this wasn't right. The bruise was blatantly that of a hand. That boyfriend of his. "What happened?"

"I...I fell." Yamato buried his face into Koushirou's shirt again as he spoke. The redhead wasn't buying that, however. He knew damned well that Yamato would lie like a rug sometimes.

"Yamato..." He spoke quietly, but firmly, and Yamato looked back up at him, an exceedingly bright and painfully obvious fake smile twisting his lips.

"I fell!"

Koushirou shook his head. "You didn't." Yamato turned his face away, and the other frowned. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not!"

The redhead frowned more, feeling quite irritated suddenly. "You are!"

Yamato jumped back, looking away, obviously startled by Koushirou's unaccustomed harshness. "I...I shouldn't have come here." He closed his eyes as a few more tears slipped down his cheeks. "I'll...I'll go."

"Answer me." Koushirou was quite certain of what had happened, but he wanted to hear it from Yamato first.

The blonde just shook his head violently, all of his usual defenses stripped away to show the emotionally vulnerable one beneath. "I'm sorry I disturbed you." He started to turn away, but Koushirou grabbed his arm. Yamato shrieked at once and started to pull away. "N-no! It's my fault. I can make it right this time, I can fix things! I couldn't do that with you, but if I just go back to him!!" Koushirou could tell Yamato was quite nearly hysterical.

"What?"

"Let go." Yamato murmured. "Please, let go."

Koushirou shook his head. "No. Answer me."

"Please let go!" Yamato was begging now, and it twisted inside of Koushirou to see him so ruined. This was not the Yamato he had known before. "I have to go back to him! I have to fix everything!"

"No!" Koushirou couldn't explain it to himself, he didn't even think about it, but he was not going to let Yamato go back to that monster who had hurt him. Slowly he pulled Yamato into his arms, feeling the stick-thin young man trembling next to him.

Yamato stared up at him with wide blue eyes full of tears. "Please, Koushirou...I can't lose someone else."

The Child of Knowledge turned and shut the door, then looked back at Yamato. "Talk. To. Me." He was just about at the end of his own personal rope, and he knew neither of them was acting the way they usually did. It didn't seem to matter, though. Perhaps this was what was necessary.

Yamato's lip trembled as he threw himself at Koushirou once again. "I need him. I need him...almost as much...almost as much as...." He trembled, then at Koushirou's urgings finished it. "Almost as much as I still need you."

Koushirou frowned; he had never really gotten over Yamato himself. There was something in that blonde beauty that just wiggled his way into his heart and refused to go away. He couldn't be surprised Yamato felt the same way. That doesn't mean I still want him, though. He tried to tell himself. "Yamato." The other peeked at him for a moment, then looked away again. "Talk to me, please."

The blonde bit his lip, still obviously refusing to look at his former lover, with tears still dripping down his cheeks. "I...I can't."

"Why not?"

Yamato shook his head. "Whatever I say will make you think that he's a bad person, but he's not, he's really not."

Koushirou knew better, though. "If he hits you he is." He and Yamato might've broken up, but he would never stand for someone hitting this delicate flower.

"He's not!"

"He is." Yamato shook his head firmly in denial, but Koushirou was having none of it. "Yamato. Sit." As the other did so, the redhead looked firmly at him. "How often does he hit you?" Yamato didn't look up or answer. "Answer me!"

Yamato looked away, then looked back. "Why should I? What reason do I have to tell you?"

"To save yourself."

Blue eyes narrowed. "I don't need to be saved." Koushirou only looked at the bruise quietly, and Yamato looked away from him. "Why now? Why do you pretend to care now?"

Koushirou sighed. "We're still friends, Yamato."

"That's all I ever was to you, a friend." Yamato was sick of friends. Sora had dumped him because you're a great friend, Yamato, and when he thought he'd found someone to heal his aching heart in Koushirou, that had self-destructed as well. "And don't try to tell me that you ever truly cared. You didn't care before." His breath caught and he rubbed at his eyes with his sleeves. "You didn't care when you just walked away."

"If you're done feeling sorry for yourself?" Koushirou was not in the mood for this, not in the slightest.

"You left me all alone!" Yamato glared at him, his eyes full of tears. "You tore me apart completely! How ...how can you honestly tell me that you care?" Yamato looked away. "You didn't care."

Koushirou was reaching the end of his rope. "Fine. Sorry I ever tried to do anything for you. I should just jump off a cliff!" He wasn't given to extravagance like this, but it just felt right at the moment. He was fairly sure he'd be surprised by himself later.

Yamato shook his head and stood up. "I messed things up. I know that now. That's why even when I begged it wasn't enough."

"Obviously the mere thought of me wanting to be your friend is so repugnant that you'd rather go back to being beaten than to talk to me!" Koushirou snapped. Yamato turned to look at him, his eyes sad.

"I can't just be your friend, though. It would kill me to just be your friend. I gave you everything I could. I gave my heart to you. I can't go back to just being your friend, I just can't." He looked away, his voice quiet and almost inaudible. "Not when I still love you more than life itself."

Koushirou sighed; he had heard quite clearly what Yamato had just said. And I can't say that I don't still love him like that, either.

Yamato collapsed softly, tears welling out. "It was a mistake for me to come here." Koushirou stared at him for a moment, then something inside of him seemed to fall away, and he came over to the blonde, wrapping his arms around him and holding him as if he would never let go. Yamato tried to control himself, then he threw his arms around Koushirou and broke down into tears again. "I was only with him because I wanted to be with you again! I was looking for someone like you!" Koushirou held onto him, feeling his heart open up to the other once again, this time for good. "I'm stupid, though. I couldn't even do that right. I messed up so badly." Koushirou just held him and comforted him, murmuring things of quiet and of love, until Yamato's tears finally ceased, and they were just snuggling.

The blonde closed his eyes as he rested his face against Koushirou's chest. He felt so peaceful, so calm, so drained. "I'm still in love with you. I still love you, and I still want to be with you. I...just don't know what to do without your love."

Koushirou held him and looked down at him. How could I have done that? How could I have left him? I'm supposed to be smart...but that was the dumbest thing I ever did.

"Please, just this once, just for this little bit, let me know what it feels like again. Let me be with you just this once." Tears fell from Yamato's closed eyes and into Koushirou's shirt. The redhead came to a decision, then slowly lifted Yamato's head up and gazed at him. The blonde opened his eyes and stared up at him, obviously scared.

He had nothing to fear, however, as Koushirou leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips. Yamato's eyes opened quite wide as he blushed, then he looked down in embarrassment. "You...do you...really..."

"Yes." The answer was simple and to the point, and filled with more meaning than anything Koushirou could recall saying in the last year. Yamato blushed even more, then pressed close to Koushirou, tears of joy spilling down before he looked up into Koushirou's kind eyes once more. The redhead leaned over, then gently kissed Yamato's nose. "I'm sorry for dumping you the way I did. I love you."

"I love you, Kou-chan." Yamato snuggled close, once more closing his eyes. "I've always liked doing this with you. You're so warm. And we fit together...it's so comfortable." He tucked his head under Koushirou's chin and smiled; all the dark feelings from before banished in the warmth of love. "We'll be together forever, right, Kou-chan?"

"Yes, Yama-chan." Koushirou had never meant anything more than he did those two simple words.

Yamato looked up at him. "I..." He bit his lip for a moment. "I can stay with you?"

"Forever."

The blonde squealed happily and hugged Koushirou tightly, the smile on his face turning into a wide and rather cute yawn. "I'm sleepy."

"Rest, then." Koushirou didn't want Yamato to ever leave, not without him, ever again. No one should hurt someone as wonderful as the blonde was, and he would see to it that it never happened again.

Yamato tugged on Koushirou's shirt like a little child. "You'll rest with me?" Koushirou smiled and picked him up gently as he nodded. "Love you..." Yamato murmured as he fell asleep into Koushirou's arms, happy, as he hadn't been in far too long.

"I love you." Koushirou smiled as he carried Yamato into the bedroom and tucked him into. The blonde held onto him even in his sleep, and Koushirou curled up next to him, feeling content and warm and loved and loving. He didn't even care about his computer, still in pieces. That didn't matter. What mattered was this wonderful creature in his arms, sleeping so peacefully, so obviously happy. And I am too. He knew now why he had been so out of sorts lately. It hadn't been because of what had happened to his computer: it was because he didn't have his Yama-chan with him. He cuddled the blonde close. "No one's ever going to hurt you again, Yama-chan." He promised. "I love you." He dropped a kiss onto the blonde's forehead, then cuddled him close, and let them both be protected in the unending glory that was their love.