Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ DEJA VU--A MiSTing of a MiSTing ❯ Beware of the Bots ( Chapter 3 )

DÉJÀ VU--A MiSTing of a MiSTing

Beware of the Bots

{All authors meet in the lobby for a break. Digifan316 looks over what R80 is typing while Shadow Guyver is standing next to them with a drink. R80 too has a drink.}

R80: Gotta finish this…gotta finish…

Digifan316: Just what is this for?

R80: My screen writing class. I have to finish it by the end of the semester.

Digifan316: Anywhere close?

R80: I wish. (He sighs loudly)

007: What's it about?

R80: That's confidential. (He takes a drink from a coffee mug). Mmm, good coffee…Would you like some coffee?

Digifan316: Coffee?

007: Or a Red Bull?

Digifan316: Are you guys sure it's safe to drink those? After what happened last time?

007: Of course it is. Maggie gave it to us.

R80: Why would Maggie put something dangerous like a love potion in our drinks?

Digifan316: I think I'll pass. Anything can happen here.

R80: Suit yourself. (Continues typing). Why can't I finish this?!

Digifan316: Hey, maybe this will help. (He clears his throat) "There is nothing to writing--All you have to do is sit at the type writer and open a vein."

007: Whoa, I've never tried that before!

R80: Are you serious? Where did you get that?

Digifan316: My girlfriend. She saw it on a poster in her creative writing class.

R80: Does she really open a vein before she writes?

Digifan316: I hope not.

007: Where is GameGirl anyway?

Digifan316: She's with Kaden and Wolfspirit. Kaden's showing her some guitar tips.

007: She plays guitar? (He belches loudly) Whoa…excuse me…oh man…I feel weird now.

R80: That wasn't very appropriate. (He burps too)

(TG walks by the three men)

TG: Hi guys.

R80: Hello TG…Does that stand for Terrific Girl?

TG: Huh?

Digifan316: Oh no…

007: Hey, I saw her first.

Maggie: TG, dear, would you like a drink? (Holds out a tray with drinks)

TG: Why, thank you, Maggie! (Takes a drink and slugs down the drink)

Maggie: No problem, dear. How about you, Brian?

(Digifan316 shakes his head)

Maggie: I'll go see if the others want some. (She turns around and leaves)

Digifan316: (stepping away) I think I'll go and…

TG: Hey, where do you think you're going?

Digifan316: Oh not again! (He turns and runs to the tallest structure but before he can climb it, the three authors crowd around it)

TG: You can't hide from me! We're meant to be together!

007: Don't bother to hide man; I'll still kick your ass!

R80: Same here!

Digifan316: R80, don't you have that screenwriting project to do?

R80: This is more important!

(Digifan316 continues to run to the other side of the SOL, where GameGirl, Wolfspirit and Kaden are)

Digifan316: HAAAAAALEEEEEEEEYYYYYY!

Maggie: Oh, did you want a drink after all, Brian?

Digifan316: No! (He pushes her away.)

Maggie: Where's the fire? (She watches TG, R80 and 007 chase Digifan316) This seems awfully familiar.

(Kaden is giving GameGirl some tips, with Wolfspirit watching.)

GameGirl (tuning her acoustic): Thanks for the help, Kaden.

Kaden (strumming her electric) No problem. Let's start out with a few chords, okay?

GameGirl: Okay. (Bites her bottom lip)

Wolfspirit: Don't be nervous. Kaden's a good teacher.

Kaden: Yeah, GameGirl. Don't fret.

GameGirl: Don't fret…got it…(she starts laughing) Don't fret! Hahaha! Good one!

Kaden: What?

GameGirl: Don't Fret…(she points to the frets on her acoustic)

Kaden: Oh. (Grins) Haha! That is funny!

(GameGirl takes a swig of her Sierra Mist.)

Kaden: Are you sure it's safe drink that?

GameGirl: Yeah, I brought my own sodas. (Pulls out a cooler.) Want one?

Kaden: Sure. Dr. Pepper please.

(GameGirl tosses a Dr. Pepper to Kaden. She pops the tab and takes a sip.)

GameGirl: How about you, Wolfspirit?

Wolfspirit: Mtn. Dew for me.

(GameGirl tosses a Mtn. Dew to Wolfspirit. Kaden starts to show GameGirl a few basics)

Kaden: It's not all that hard. Just practice with some chords and your strumming and before long you'll be doing this. (Kaden starts playing a familiar song by Metallica.)

GameGirl: Whoa…cool! I know that song!

(Kaden finishes the song)

Kaden: Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience! (she bows)

GameGirl: Y'know, it's funny.

Kaden: What is?

GameGirl: The name of this satellite. Why is it called Satellite of Love?

Kaden: Got me.

Digifan316: HAAAAAALEEEEEEY!

GameGirl: Brian?

TG: Please don't leave, I love you!

007: I love you, TG!

R80: But I love you more!

GameGirl: Well, I guess that answers my question.

Kaden: I'll say.

Wolfspirit: Yup.

Digifan316: Haley, save me my heroine of the valley! Save me!

Wolfspirit: Heroine of the Valley?

GameGirl: That's what my name means.

(Digifan316 falls at GameGirl's feet and hugs her around her waist)

Digifan316: They're after me!!

Kaden: Who?

GameGirl (patting Digfan316's head) There, there, Brian…I'll take care of it.

(The pursuing authors stop.)

007: He needs to be punished!

Digifan316: But I didn't do anything! (he hides behind GameGirl) Haley, save me!

TG: You can't protect him, GameGirl! Give him here!

GameGirl: Oh no? (sets her drink down on the desk behind her) We'll see about that. Love potion, right?

Maggie: I think that's what it is…but I'm certain I didn't put it in there.

GameGirl: And the way to fix them is the same, right?

Maggie: Worth a shot.

Digfan316: Naked Jun---

GameGirl: I'll handle it, Brian. AN OVER DRESSED JUN MOTIMIYA ON A HOT DAY!

007: Hey!

GameGirl: MYOTISMON GIVING KARI A PIGGY BACK RIDE!

R80: What the?

Kaden: That would explain why she goes so well with vampires.

GameGirl: And lastly--SEAN BIGGERSTAFF GETTING HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A BLUDGER, FALLING OFF A BROOMSTICK AND BREAKING HIS NECK!

TG: (throws her head back) NOOOO! How could you be so cruel? Those stupid Weasley twins, it's their job as beaters to make sure Sean doesn't get hurt!

(R80 and 007 look at her in concern)

R80 (trying to comfort TG): Uh, are you okay?

TG: Don't touch me!

GameGirl: Well, that was easy.

Maggie: I wonder how a love potion got in the drinks. I'm so sorry! I swear I didn't put it in there!

Kaden: We don't think you did it, Maggie. It had to be someone with less sense. (She glares at Tom and Crow)

Digfan316: Myotismon giving Kari a piggyback ride?

GameGirl: What's that, Brian? Do I hear a thank you?

Digfan316: Oh, thank you, Haley. (He kisses GameGirl)

GameGirl: Anytime. Hey, TG.

TG: What?

(GameGirl whips out a large poster of a bare-chested Sean Biggerstaff)

GameGirl: Who is this?

TG: SEAN BIGGERSTAFF! HE'S ALIVE!

GameGirl: Of course he is. (GameGirl steps to the left and TG's are fixed on the picture. GameGirl steps to the right and TG's head moves in that direction) And he wants all his fans to know that he's devilishly good looking and single.

TG: Damn right! Well, the first part, anyway.

GameGirl: How would you like to know if he's still single?

TG: I'd love it!

(GameGirl tosses the poster to TG, who screams and squeezes it)

Digfan316: Haley, what are you doing?

GameGirl: Just watch. (looking around the controls on the control deck) let's see, set this here and…ah..here we go (GameGirl pushes a button and Sean Biggerstaff appears)

Sean Biggerstaff: It's rue that Slytherin has better brooms but we have better people on our brooms and--hey, this isn't the Quidditch Stadium.

TG: OMIGOD! OMIGOD! IT'S SEAN BIGGERSTAFF! (she gets dizzy and R80 catches her)

R80: Watch your head. (he looks up at Sean) Good job playing Oliver Wood in Harry Potter and the Sorcer's Stone, by the way.

Digifan316 (muttering): It was way over hyped.

GameGirl: How would you know, did you see it?

Digifan316: No.

GameGirl: Then shut your big mouth! And it wasn't over hyped, okay? If I didn't have to go to work the day I saw it, I would've paid for another ticket, just like a lot of people did! So the next time a so-called 'over hyped' movie comes out, don't knock it until you've tried it!

Digifan316: Yes, Haley…please don't' hurt me! I love you! (He lets out a big sigh when GameGirl turns her angry head away)

007: I can so feel the love on this satellite!

Kaden (whispering): Harry Potter sucks.

Digifan316: I guess you're saner than I thought.

Kaden: What?

Digifan316: Nothing.

Sean Biggerstaff: Thanks…um, where's Chris Columbus?

Crow: Maybe sailing around the world on the Santa Maria?

R80: Not that Chris Columbus, you idiot. He's the one who directed the movie.

GameGirl: He's not here Sean.

Sean: Oh? What about JK Rowling?

GameGirl: Nope. You're on the Satellite of Love. I have a question, are you still single?

Digifan316: Haley! How could you!?

GameGirl: Shh!

Sean: Yes.

TG: Yay!

GameGirl: And still devilishly good-looking too.

Digifan316: No! (he begins to sob.)

Kaden: Hey, don't cry. (She pats his back)

GameGirl: Well, TG here is your biggest fan! She ADORES you!

Sean (surprised): Really?

Digifan316 (relieved): Really?

GameGirl (frankly): Really.

TG (over-excited): REALLY!

Sean: I love Americans!

TG: And I love you! (she jumps up and throws her arms around Sean) Hey, would you sign my boob? (she pulls the neck of her shirt down)

Crow: Yeah!

(GameGirl slaps Crow's beak off. He picks it up and puts it back on)

Digifan316: Boob signing? This isn't a heavy metal concert!

TG: I-I mean this hot poster of you! (she holds up the poster of Sean)

Sean: I don't remember making that pose…Hey, I think that's one of the guys that plays the Weasley twins.

TG: What? (she examines it) But it can't be. GameGirl look at this.

(GameGirl takes a look)

GameGirl: Hmmm, James or Oliver Phelps…

TG: It can't be them, because Fred and George have red hair! And this is you! I know it is! Your hair is brown.

GameGirl: But the Phelps brothers actually have brown hair. At least, that's what James said in his interview.

R80: I can't really tell. There really wasn't a lot of footage taken of the Weasley twins.

GameGirl (takes out a Harry Potter movie magazine and flips to the pages to Oliver and James Phelps): Let's see…hmm. (she compares them to the poster. All 3 HP fans look closely and then up to Sean.) Haha, nice try, Sean. It's really you.

R80: Yeah. It does have your name down here on the corner.

Sean (looks over it): Oh it is me…my parents are gonna kill me!

TG: Can you sign this poster before they do?

Sean: Oh, okay. (He signs it)

GameGirl: Well, I'm glad that's settled. (She takes another drink of her Siera Mist.)

Kaden: Me too. (She drinks her Dr. Pepper)

GameGirl and Kaden: Aaah.

Wolfsprit: Thirsty?

GameGirl: Uh-huh. (she belches) Oh, excuse me.

Kaden: Oh, that was good. (she belches too)

GameGirl: Boy, I feel funny.

Digifan316: Please don't tell me there was another love potion in that!

GameGirl: That's impossible, Brian. I brought my own sodas.

Kaden: But I do feel a bit funny too. I feel, somehow, quite not like myself.

Wolfsprit: You think you may be coming down with something?

(A wire pokes through GameGirl's shoulder)

GameGirl: Oh! Ow! Hey, my shirt! Dangit! I paid good money on that.

Digifan316: Where did that wire come from?

GameGirl: I dunno. (Another one pokes from her other shoulder) Ow! (Wires begin to rise up all over GameGirl's body and her muscles bunch up) What the hell?

Kaden: My hand hurts. (She looks at her hand and it takes the shape of a long metal object) Wha?

Tom: Hey, Crow, I found that bottle you were looking for.

Crow: Be quiet, Tom!

Kaden: What bottle?

GameGirl: Crow! Did you put something in your drinks while our backs were turned?

Kaden: What did you put in there, Crow?

GameGirl: Rufees?

Kaden: Aaah! GameGirl!

Crow: Nothing, ladies…nothing…

(Kaden sees something in Tom's small hand. She takes it and reads aloud)

Kaden: Bot Babe Tablets. BOT BABE TABLETS?!!

Crow: Tom, you fool!

Tom: How was I supposed to know?

(Kaden's figure changes from a new form to another)

Kaden: You will die, Gumball Boy!

Maggie: What have you done, this time, Crow? You put that stupid love potion in thopse drinks I gave R80 and the others. YOU USED ME CROW! YA USED ME!

(GameGirl's skin and hair becomes metallic. Her fingers become claws and she takes her glasses off and flings them away, revealing her now deep red eyes. Digifan316 catches them)

Tom: Um, Crow…I think those weren't just any bot babe tablets…

Crow: What are you talking about?

Tom: I think you accidently got the fighting bot babe tablets!

Crow: Me? Oh no…

(GameGirl's head turns 360 degrees. Her right arm becomes a machine gun.)

Bot GameGirl: Kaden, you take Gumball Boy. I'll handle this Johny five reject!

Bot Kaden: Done!

Tom: I'm so sorry! Don't kill me!

Bot Kaden: Nice work, Tom! Allow me to show my appreciation! (Her body keeps changing)

Tom: You can shape shift!

Digifan316: They're gonna blow! EVERYONE IN THE THEATRE! WOMEN, CHILDREN AND AUTHORS FIRST!

TG (arsm around Sean): What about Quidditch Captains?

Digifan316: What?

TG: I mean hot British actors!

Digifan316: Whatever! Just get in the theatre! Now! R80!

(R80 is back to his typing assignment. Digifan316 grabs him from the back of the collar)

Digfan316: Let's go!

R80: But I must finish this!

Digifan316: Not if they kill you! (He pushes him in the theatre.) Hurry people, move it! Move it!

(All authors hurry in the theatre)

Digifan316: Maggie, come on!

Maggie: No thanks, Brian. I think I'll stay and enjoy this!

Digifan316: Okay…it's been nice knowing you. (He leaves and Bot Babe GameGirl and Kaden advance on Crow and Tom)

Maggie: Feel free to tag team me if you get tired!

(Bot Babe GameGirl fires her mechanical firearm. Crow screams and ducks. The ammunition runs out and the wires in GameGirl's body pump in a powerful liquid and her muscles grow. She stands over 6 feet tall.)

Bot Babe GameGirl: Resistance is futile! (she picks up the desk and throws it to the wall. It smashes into smithereens.) See that, Crow? That's what I'm gonna do to you!

(Crow starts to run. Bot Babe GameGirl chases him. Tom is cowering to Kaden)

Tom: We just wanted to see if it would work!

Bot Babe Kaden: Well, it worked. Now let's see if I can kill you!

Tom: No please!

Bot Babe Kaden: So who do you want to kill you, Tom? Cat demon Kari from my fanfic Ashita? (she changes into the Cat demon Kari and Tom lets out a little yelp) Or maybe Sora? (she changes from Kari to Sora of Ashita. Tom gasps) Wait…I know…you left a comment about my PS Ruki, didn't you?

Tom: No!

(Bot Babe Kaden changes to Ruki of her fanfic Puberty Sucks)

Bot Babe Kaden: What do you think about Ruki with the Sailor Moon look now, huh?

Tom: Please, not Ruki! Anyone but Ruki! PLEASE!

Bot Babe Kaden: Not Ruki, eh? Okay. Then maybe…oh, I have the perfect one.

Tom: What?

(Bot Babe Kaden lets out an evil laugh.)

Tom: Oh no.

(Bot Babe Kaden changes into…)

Bot Babe Kaden: Surprise! DEAD GIRL JURI OF PUBERTY SUCKS! Meet Mr. Dingo! (she jabs the puppet in his face. It growls)

Tom: How could you make yourself someone that you don't even like? You're---you're a monster!

{From inside the theatre, all the authors can hear the screams from Crow and Tom and shiver}

Digifan316: We're all gonna die!

TBC