Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Digi-Trigger ❯ Yukon Screws Up Again! ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

The following is what happens when you're bored one day and just spent too much time playing
Chrono Trigger. People, I introduce you to my second Digimon parody-fic, Digi Trigger! This
one will be a bit different than "Picnic With Ants" because of a few things. Number One: the
humor won't be anywhere near as perverted. Two: Unlike "Picnic With Ants", this story was
original written as a newsgroup fic for AFD, so as you'll notice, some people get the major roles
instead of the Digimon cast. (Don't worry, there will be plenty of appearances by the Digi-
Destined and their Digimon.) And C: This story has multiple parts to it. So without further ado,
here's the list of who's cast as which character




Cast:

-Crono: Raptor [Dino]
-Lucca: Yolei/Miyako [Yukon]
-Marle (aka Princess Nadia): Susan [Susan/ Princess Nadia]
-Taban: Tech Weaver [Tekken (not the game)]
-Crono's Mother: Ghostyhead [Dino's Mother]
-Lara (Lucca's Mom): Ghostyhead [Ghosty]
-King Guardia XXXIIII: Tech Weaver [King Odaiba XXXIIII]
-Chancellor: Kat
-Ozzie XIII: Metal Etemon [Eddiemon XIII]
-Frog: Fulgore [Patamon/ Fulgore]
-Cyrus: David - The Living Cartoon [Cyrus - Knight of the Living Cartoon]
-Queen Leene: Sarah Elizabeth G. [Queen S.E.G.]
-King Guardia XXI: Tech Weaver [King Odaiba XXI]
-Chancellor: Kat
-Knight Captain: Matt
-Cook: TK
-Toma: Tech Weaver [Techa]
-Tata: Tech Weaver [Techno]
-Masa & Mune: XV-mon & Stingmon [Vee & Worm]
-Yarka: Areku [Yarekumon]
-Slash: Chris McFeely [Chrashmon]
-Flea: Sora [Tickmon]
-Ozzie: Etemon [Eddiemon]
-Magus: Ken [Myotismon]
-Doan: Dima [Dim]
-Robo: Timestones (THAAAAAAT'S ME!) [Rocko]
-Jhonny: Guest appearance by Thrust
-Atropos: Bishounen no Miko [Bishounen no Atropos]
-Mother Brain: Ghostyhead [Ghosty Brain]
-Old Man: Gennai [Old Geezer]
-Spekkio: Animeotaku [Otakkio]
-Ayla: Mimi [Maya]
-Kino: Joe [Kido]
-Azala: Agumon [Azalamon]
-Niezbel: Bishounen no Miko [Niezbel no Mikomon]
-Janus: Ken
-Schala: Sarah Elizabeth G.
-Queen Zeal: AylaKitty [ZealKitty]
-Dalton: Davis [Dolt]
-Melchior: David - The Living Cartoon [Mook; Guru of the Living Cartoon]
-Belthasar: Dima [Thbbbp; Guru of Stuff]
-Random Person/etc. (These guys will pretty much be random stupidity and stuff. They'll fill in
most of the minor townspeople/enemy roles.): Tech Weaver, Dima, Bishounen no Miko,
AylaKitty, Kat, Chris, any other Digi Destined/Digimon or person I want.
-Dragon Tank: Machindramon [Dramon Tank]
-Central Computer: Tech Weaver [Central Weaver]
-RY-Series Robots: Tech Weaver [TW Series]
-Heckran: Kat [BigWormmon]
-Zombor: SkullGreymon
-MasaMune: Dinobeemon [VeeWormmon]
-Black Tyrano: DarkTyranomon [BlackTyranomon]
-Golems: Dima [DOH-emon]
-Sir Krawlie: Kat [BigSmellyWormmon]
-Giga Gia: Bishounen no Miko [Giga no Giamon]

And the villain himself...

Lavos: Areku [Lavosmon]


As the sun began its slow ascension into the sky, it quickly enveloped the kingdom of
Odaiba in its golden rays. Eventually, the light reached Moose Village, where suddenly,
fireworks were launched (despite that fact that they couldn't bee seen) and millions of balloons
and confetti were thrown into the air. The occasion was simple; Odaiba Kingdom had just
successfully entered the year 1000, and the new millennium. Such a feat called for celebration,
and the people of Odaiba were happy, for they wouldn't have to worry about that damned Y2K
bug for another thousand years.

As the festivities began, a lone person came walking up to the center of Moose Village,
where the large S.E.G.'s Bell was hung. Obviously, this girl was to awaken the entire kingdom
by ringing the bell with the large hammer she carried. About ten years old, wearing yellow and
pink with short, mousey-brown hair. She walked with an air of confidence, gripping the hammer
tightly in her hands, knowing very well what an honor she has received in being chosen to ring
S.E.G.'s Bell. She steadied herself and swung with all her might!

Unfortunately, she miscalculated the distance between herself and the bell, and wound up
missing it with the hammer entirely. The hammer's momentum caused her to be thrown off
balance, and she turned and crashed into the bell head first, successfully causing it to ring, but in
the most humiliating way possible. It wouldn't be until she came out of her coma that the young
girl would realize just how foolish she made herself look.




Dino's Mom: Dino? Dino!

His mother's voice called out for him, trying to find where her little boy was. Of course,
she needn't bother, as she knew he was still asleep in bed like the lazy bum that he was. She
hurried into her son's room, where sure enough, his reddish-brown hair stuck out just above the
sheets, giving him away. Meeko, the family cat, was seated on his chest, looking at him
expectantly.

Dino's Mom: Honestly, Dino, you're so lazy! Get out of that bed, now!

Dino: Zzzzzzzzz.....

She sighed disappointedly. Rather than try and goad her son, she turned her attention to
the window, where she threw open the curtains to let the bright sunlight in. This didn't do any
good, since the bed sheets were pulled up well above Dino's eyes, protecting them from the
early morning rays.

Dino's Mom: Ah, S.E.G.'s Bell sounds so beautiful in the morning.

Her son simply snored louder in protest.

Dino's Mom: *sigh* Hey, buster, YOU were the one who was so excited about the Millennial
Fair last night! Call me crazy, but if I were you, I'D be the out of bed and ready to go first thing
in the morning, not wasting all day sleeping.

Dino's response was to roll over and continue sleeping. Rather peeved, his mother finally
saw fit to take drastic measures to get her son out of bed. She walked over to the foot of the bed
and gave it a good, hard kick, causing the springs to pull the bed back into the wall, where Dino
suddenly found himself more than cramped for space.

Dino's Mom: Now, are you going to be a good boy and get out of bed?

Dino: [muffled] Yes mom...

And so our hero, Dino, finally got his lazy ass out of bed and woke up to greet the
glorious new day. (Right after bending his body back into a position that was natural, of course.)
Following that, he made his way down to the kitchen where his mother and pet were waiting for
him.

Dino's Mom: Well, Dino, it's good to see you out of bed finally!

Dino: [grumpily] Whatever.

Dino plopped himself down in front of the table and waited for his breakfast. Meeko
curled herself around Dino's leg and began purring profusely for its breakfast. When it saw that
Dino wasn't paying any attention to it, the cat the jumped atop the table and began licking its
master's hand. Unfortunately, Dino was not a morning person, so all this resulted in was Meeko
getting backhanded across the kitchen.

Dino's Mom: [angrily] Dino! What have I told you about hitting Meeko across the house!? [sets
down bowl of cornflakes in front of Dino]

Dino: [grumbles and begins to eat cereal]

Dino's Mom: Honestly, Dino, I don't know what's wrong with you. You were so excited and full
of energy because of the Millennial Fair last night! What happened?

Dino: I'll tell you what happened: morning came, that's what happened.

Dino's Mom; So, I guess you'd rather just stay in bed all day until you aren't tired anymore?

Dino: You read my mind, see ya mom!

Dino hopped to his feet and began running up the stairs to his room again, leaving his
mother and cat in the kitchen, alone. His mother sighed, picked up the cat, and began to pour it
its breakfast.

Dino's Mom: You know, Dino, call me crazy, but didn't you promise that inventor friend of
yours that you'd help her with something during the fair?

A few seconds of silence passed, followed by a scream of exasperation, which was then
followed by Dino, charging top speed down the stairs and through the kitchen, out the front door.

Dino: HOLY CRAP! I forgot! Oh man, Yukon's gonna kill me!"

Dino's Mom: Wait, Dino, come back! You forgot to put your clothes on!

Dino stopped in his tracks and looked down at himself when he heard this. Sure enough,
he was dressed in nothing but his socks, boxers, and an undershirt.

Dino: YAUGH!

After much running, panting, jumping of fences, swimming across small dikes, and
running from deranged chickens, Dino discovered that he was just running around in circles, and
it would have been easier just to take the bus to Moose Village. So one bus ride and change of
clothes later, Dino appeared in Moose Village to find that the festival was well underway.
Hurrying, he made his way towards the center of Moose Village, to where S.E.G.'s Square and
S.E.G.'s Bell were located. He paused only once to contemplate what happened to the
unconscious girl with the hammer, but decided it wasn't worth his time, and veered east to a
little alley, where he found several people gathering around a collection of crates, each one
containing a large assortment of mechanical parts.

Dino: Tech! Koushiro! Joe! Dima! Wait, I'm here!

Dima: Well it's about f***ing time you showed up! Where the f*** were you!?

Joe: You might as well not have come, we're not going to be giving an demonstrations anytime
soon.

Dino: Wha? What do you mean?

With that, Koushiro produced a robot that resembled an adorable, white cat with large,
blue eyes and even larger ears. It made no movement, being turned off and all, but it seemed like
a fine work of craftsmanship. Dino couldn't see the problem with it at all.

Dino: Despite the fact that it looks like it wouldn't stand a chance against me, I don't see
anything wrong with it.

Koushiro: That's because there isn't anything wrong with it. That is, until you turn it on...

Rather than explain the problem, Koushiro just decided to show it by activating the tiny
robot. Immediately, the cat began to dance in the most adorable way and sing an equally
adorable song.

Gatomon: My name is Gatomon, I'm made with metal and well oiled joints, if you can beat then
you'll earn 215 silver- My name is Gatomon, I'm made with metal and well oiled joints, if you
can beat me then you'll earn 215 silver- My name is Gatomon...

The cat robot continued singing and dancing in this way over and over again like a
broken record, each time a small spark emitting from its ears. Although the song was getting
rather annoying after the first six times, Dino still couldn't figure out what was so bad about it.
Then the robot's song became scrambled and choked with the sound of rusty gears grinding
together, and smoke and sparks emitted from its head. The robot suddenly paused, and its cute
expression suddenly became wild and malicious. Razor sharp claws and missiles lined its arms
and the robot went from an adorable, sweet little kitty to a ferocious wild cat of death in several
seconds.

Gatomon!: KILL! DESTROY! MAIM! PULVERIZE! MUTILATE! DISFIGURE! Um... HURT!

Dino: Yah! Bad kitty! Bad kitty! [He pulls out his sword and proceeds to slash Gatomon into
little metal pieces.]

Dima: You f***ing idiot! Look at what you did!

Joe: All that hard work and its been reduced to kitty litter! Dino, how could you!

Koushiro: Actually, we spent hardly any time working on this, Joe. Yukon's the one who built
most of it.

Joe: Oh yeah. [pauses] Oh well, if it was built by Yukon, then that would explain why it was so
buggy.

Dino: [angry] Hey! Don't make fun of Yukon like that! She makes brilliant inventions! It's not
her fault that her genius is so great that these worldly materials that she works with can't
compensate and break all the time!

Koushiro: Actually, I've built many robots like this one at home, and they all worked without a
hitch. Not only that, but I've been looking at a lot of Yukon's discarded "failures" and it seems
to me that all of them never worked only because Yukon made a lot of careless errors when
constructing them. Not only that, but-

Dino: Shut up!

Dima: Man, don't tell him to shut up, you f***ing retard!

Dino: You shut up too! [Slashes Dima with his katana.]

Dima: F*** YOU! [dies]

Koushiro: Holy crap, Dino! You killed Dima!

Joe: Wait, do we actually care that he killed Dima? I mean, its not like we actually know who he
is.

Koushiro: Well, no. But I thought it appropriate to say at the moment.

Dino: So, there's no show today, huh? I came all the way over here for no reason at all, is that it?

Joe: Yep, looks that way.

Dino: [sighs] Oh well, might as well find Yukon. [turns around and walks away]

Koushiro: Just don't fall asleep walking again, okay?

Dino: Zzzzzzzz.....

Koushiro: Aw, forget it.

And so Dino departed from his associates in order to find his good friend Yukon; genius
inventor chick with lousy taste in clothes and more eccentric than should be humanly possible.
Unfortunately for him, he had fallen asleep while walking again, as was now headed blindly into
S.E.G.'s Square, where the girl with brown hair and yellow and pink clothes still lay
unconscious. Also headed in that general direction was a young girl, named Princess Nadia. She
was still enjoying herself at the Milennial fair, due to the fact that she was piss drunk out of her
mind, and swaggering and dashing around like a drunken sailor. Little did either of them realize
that fate was guiding their movements, and they were about to experience something that even
the young girl who got KOed by the bell would be astonished by (once she got up, of course).




Digi Trigger- Episode 1: Yukon Screws Up Again!




The two charged right in front of S.E.G.'s Bell, not seeing each other or where they were
going. And then suddenly, it happened!

Saban finally wizened up and released the entire series of Samurai Pizza Cats on DVD!
(Oh yeah, and Dino and Princess Nadia also crashed head long into one another and wound up in
a rather embarrassing position.)

Girl Who Rang the Bell And Got KOed: Ewww! You two are sick! I'm telling!

Dino: [Scrambling to get off of Princess Nadia] Hey, shut up! And aren't you supposed to be
unconscious!?

GWRTBAGKOED: Oh yeah. [Faints.]

Princess Nadia: Ooh... I feel like I hit a train...

Dino: And you! [jabs a finger at Nadia] What the hell did you think you were doing, running
around drunk like that? You could have hurt someone!

Princess Nadia: [Miraculously sober though plot convenience #295] Me!? You were the one
running around with your eyes closed! What kind of idiot does that?

Dino: And ideot who nows betr thn to drink and run that what kind! [Looks at what he just said.]
Wait a second...

GWRTBAGKOed: Hah hah!

Dino: Why you! [Charges at the GWRTBAGK with sword drawn. She jumps to the side and he
crashes head-long into S.E.G.'s Bell] OW!

Princess Nadia: Hey, what are you- [gets hit by the bell as it swings forward again] Oof!

And so the two of them lay there unconscious for several minutes, dreaming god knows
what. It wasn't until mid-day that they finally decided to wake up and get this story rolling.

Dino: Ow... now I know what its like to be a bug on a windshield.

Princess Nadia: No you don't, if you did, you'd be splattered all over S.E.G.'s Square right about
now.

They looked at each other for a moment, wondering what to make of one another. After a
few moments of silence...

Princess Nadia: You jerk, how dare you blame me for our collision!?

Dino: I dare because I'm right and you're wrong, so there!

Princess Nadia: Oh yeah, well I had a right to go running around like a fool because I was
drunk! What was your excuse? You fell asleep while walking or something?

Dino: Hey, you know, we don't have to argue about this. Why don't we just say we were both in
the wrong and let bygones be bygones, what do you say? [Extends hand to shake.]

Princess Nadia: You're only saying that because you know I'm right and there's no chance in
heck for you to win this argument now.

Dino: [thinking] Crap, she figured me out! [Out loud] Yeah, well... you're a stinky poo-poo
head!

Princess Nadia: Oh so we're name calling now? Well, then you're a noxious, repulsive swine
carcass who's insults mean about as much to me as a dead flea buried under six feet of snow in
Antarctica! [Slaps hand against chest] and furthermore-

At that moment, our dear, hotheaded princess realized something was wrong. She
touched her hand to the collar of her neck, and then looked down her blouse, coming to a
startling revelation.

Princess Nadia: THEY'RE GONE!

Dino: Oh, so now I bet you're gonna say that you breasts disappeared because I ran into you, is
that it? Hah! I bet you never even had them to begin with!

Princess Nadia: [Looking up suddenly and turning bright red.] No, you perv! I wasn't talking
about those! I was talking about the tag and crest that my mother gave to me!

Dino: Oh. [Thinking] Damn, I really need to get my mind out of the gutter...

Princess Nadia: [On all fours, looking.] I have to find it! It's been in my family for generations,
and if I lose it, I'll be grounded for the rest of my life!

Dino: Now, let's be rational about this here. It has to be around here somewhere! Think back to
the last time you knew you had it!

Princess Nadia: Right before I was hit by the bell.

Dino: [Thinking] And that was about three hours ago. Uh-oh... [Out-loud] Well, I hate to break it
to you, but that charm of yours is a good as gone by now!

Princess Nadia: Huh?

Dino: We've been out for a good while now, three hours I'd say. You're trinkets have either
been picked up by someone or kicked all the way to south Odaiba by now.

Princess Nadia: [eyes watering with tears] But... I... it... was my. . . .
WHAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Dino: [Suddenly hit by a wave of tears.] Augh!

Princess Nadia: [crying] I don't believe it! *sob* I *sob* lost it for good! *whaaaahhh!* Now I'll
never be able to forgive myself! [cries some more]

Dino: [Thinking] Aw geeze, this is all my fault. If I wasn't so lazy, then I wouldn't have bumped
into her and none of this would have happened! [Looks at Nadia, who's still crying.] You know,
I really shouldn't feel bad for her. I mean, she was as much in the wrong as I was, why should I
care that she lost her stupid tag and crest? I should leave right now and go see Yukon, not just
stand here and feel sorry for her! But- I have to do something to make her feel better! *sigh*
Why did I have to be cursed with an overactive sympathy gland? [Looks around.] I should
probably get her that tag and crest she lost, but where to find it? It could be anywhere by now! It
could be in Odaiba Castle, or in some bratty toddler's mouth, or in a pawn shop or-

At that moment, something on the ground caught Dino's eye. It was a small, gold
pendent with a blue, sapphire square embedded in the center, with an unusual patter engraved on
it.

Dino: [Still thinking.] -Or it could be sitting right there on the ground in front of me!

Clearly, Dino knew this was Nadia's missing tag and crest, despite never having seen it
before. But it didn't matter, because presenting it to the girl would make her happy, and that's
all he wanted right now, as his overactive sympathy gland was leaking due to being hit with
S.E.G.'s Bell.

Meanwhile, Tech, Koushiro, Joe, and Dima (despite being dead) continued to work on
Gatomon, trying to get her fixed up. Unfortunately, each time the experiment blew up in their
faces, making them horribly dirty and frustrated. And unfortunately, every attempt to contact
Yukon was foiled by the fact that the youthful genius was nowhere to be found. Eventually, the
four of them decided to stop wasting their time and departed from the site in order to track down
some lunch, to visit the various sites of the fair, and to hopefully hook up with one of the girls at
the prehistoric exhibit. In case you haven't noticed, this is a complete waste of time. So why did
I write this? I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm a huge procrastinator and always put things off to
the last moment or never finish them. Or maybe its because it's a joke that's gone awry. Or
maybe I just don't know what the heck it is I'm doing, and I'm just spewing random words out
of my fingertips to bore you people. Or maybe...

Dino: Hey, can we get back to the story here!?

Oh, all right, fine. Sheesh, a guy tries to sort things out in his own head and the
characters he's writing about jump on his back. You know, there's no respect for us parody
writers anymore. Oh sure, people laugh at our stories and make some comments here and there,
but only a few of them really appreciate the work we do. I mean, just a few months ago I wrote a
parody and got all of three replies to it about the actual stories. All the others were about breast
sizes on girls or whatnot. I mean, come on, when we write these parodies, we write them for
your enjoyment, not for our health! So the least you people could do is take the time out to reply
with something ON TOPIC, for crying out loud. Is that too much to ask? I think not. And while
I'm on the subject...

Dino: Sometime this century, please.

Oh yeah, forgot. *ahem* Anyway, Dino picked up the crest and took it over to Princess
Nadia (who was still crying her fool head off). Wasting no time, he dangled the precious trinket
in front of her face, waiting for her stop crying long enough to take notice.

Princess Nadia: [sniffle] Hey, [snatches tag and crest from Dino's hand] that's...

Dino: I found it over-

Princess Nadia: [glomps Dino] OHTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! You
found my tag and crest! How can I ever repay you?

Dino: Whoah, hey! Calm down, it was no big deal!

Princess Nadia: No big deal!? This tag and crest happened to be my mother's! And it belonged to
her mother, and her mother's mother, and her mother before that, and so on and so on and so on!
This has to be the most important heirloom in my entire family!

Dino: Wow, so it's really that important. [Laughs] Well, then I guess I should apologize for
making you lose it earlier!

Princess Nadia: No, I'm the one who should apologize. If I hadn't started arguing with you like I
had, then the bell would have never knocked us out and I'd never have lost it!

Dino: Well, then I say we should just say that we're both sorry and forgive each other. What do
you say?

Princess Nadia: I thought we just did.

Dino: Oh, right. . .

Princess Nadia: Well, thanks so much for helping me, Mr. . .

Dino: . . .What?

Princess Nadia: Aren't you going to tell me your name?

Dino: Oh, yeah, right! My name's Dino.

Princess Nadia: Oh, Dino! That's a nice name.

Princess Nadia: My name? [Thinks nervously.] Better not give him my real name, or else he
might turn me in! Quick, better think of a fake name!

Dino: Well?

Princess Nadia: It's Susan!

Dino: Susan? [Blinks.] But doesn't your name tag say Princess-

Susan: No it doesn't, see? It says Susan! My name is Susan, and it isn't a name I just made up on
the spot in order to conceal my true identity as King Odaiba's runaway daughter Princess Nadia
who's running around the millennial fair so that she can have fun for once in my I mean her life
and not have to worry about servants and people always following her and being bothersome my
name is Susan and not Princess Nadia so don't think that I am because I'm not Princess Nadia I
am Susan DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?

Dino: . . . huh?

Susan: Uh, I mean, [Smiles cheerily] I mean, my name is Susan!

Dino: Oh, Susan! That's a nice name!

Susan: It is? Oh, I mean, um- of course it is! I picked it out myself!

Dino: What?

Susan: I mean my mother picked it out! Her name was Susan too, you know!

Dino: Oh, that makes sense. [Pauses.] Well anyway, great to meet you Susan, but now I've got to
get going, bye! [Walks away.]

Susan: Don't go! [Grabs Dino by the legs and knocks him down.]

Dino: Ow! Hey, what gives?

Susan: [Crying.] Please don't leave me here by myself! I'm new in town and I don't know
anyone and I don't have anyone to show me around the Millennial Fair and I'm lonely and I
want someone to talk to and I want to make friends and you're the only person I know so please
let me come with you and show me around the fair pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplea-

Dino: Alright, alright already! Just stop crying! Your tears are making it look like I wet myself!

Susan: YAY! [Jumps up and down and dances and skips for several minutes.] So, uh, where're
we going?

Dino: Well, I'm going up north of S.E.G.'s Square to talk with my friend, Yukon.

Susan: Then I'll go too!

Dino: That may not be such a good idea, see, Yukon has a slight problem when-

Susan: Oh, come on! This friend of yours can't be that bad, can he?

Dino: ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT MY FRIEND YUKON IS HORRIBLE!?

Susan: No, It's just that you said. . .

Dino: YUKON IS NOT HORRIBLE! SHE IS THE PRETTIEST AND SWEETEST AND MOST
KINDHEARTED GIRL I'VE EVER KNOWN AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE PEOPLE
TALKING ILL OF HER WHEN THEY HAVEN'T EVEN MET HER SO YOU'D BETTER
CLAM UP OR ELSE I'LL HAVE TO HURT YOU SOMETHING FIERCE
UNDERSTAND!?!?!?!

Susan: But I didn't say anything about her.

Dino: Oh. Well, then follow me! I'll take you to go meet her!

Susan: I thought you said that meeting her wouldn't be such a good idea?

Dino: Be quiet and come on! [Yanks Susan by the arm.]

Susan: Hey, no need to go grabbing my arm like some sort of kidnapper!

And so Dino left the scene of S.E.G.'s bell in order to locate his best friend, Yukon.
Neither one really aware of the danger looming just a couple of pages away from them.

As it turned out, Yukon was right in the place Dino said she would be, just north of
S.E.G.'s Square, in a little plaza located at the top of some stone steps. Also with Yukon, was
her father, Tekken. Like his daughter, Tekken was also a genius inventor (except his inventions
were known to work the way they were supposed to most of the time) and proved to be very
much the inspiration for his young daughter's work. At this point, the two of them were putting
the finishing touches on a strange contraption set up in the middle of the plaza, with a host of
people (well, more like seven, but the number isn't what's important here) watching and waiting
to find out what this dohickey was and how it'd blow up in their faces.

Dr. Weavey: [Laughs evilly.] Yes, finally! Soon I will learn the secrets of teleporting and no one,
not even that blasted Mecha Man, will be able to stop me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Uh, Tech? You have the wrong parody here. This is Digi Trigger, not Mecha Man.

Dr. Weavey: Huh? Oh, right, sorry.

Yukon: Whew, that should do it. Now that I've stabilized the hydro-capacitator and tightened the
bolts of the nova-fusion engine, this baby will work like a charm!

Tekken: I'm sure it will, honey. But just to make sure, why don't you let me take a look at the
adjustments you made?

Yukon: Come on, dad, don't you trust me to do this right on my own?

Tekken: Hell no.

Yukon: Doh, fine! Go ahead and make your stupid checks! [Sticks out tongue.] You're just
jealous of my genius, that's all!

Tekken: [Absentmindedly] Of course dear.

One of Yukon's major character flaws was her carelessness. Despite her great knowledge
of machines and science, none of her inventions ever seemed to work properly, due to her never
taking the time out to properly check her work for flaws. This more often than not lead to the
invention breaking or performing the wrong task. As a result, Yukon's second character major
character flaw came into play, and that was her over-willingness to give up if things didn't turn
out the way she expected. Coupled together, it's no wonder why Yukon's reputation for failure
proceeded her almost everywhere she went.

Everywhere, that is, except for Princess Na- er... Susan's own two ears.

Dino: This must be where Yukon is.

Susan: How can you tell?

Dino: Because of the crowd.

Susan: Wow, your friend must be a really great inventor if her new creation has prompted this
many admirers!

Dino: Actually, I think they all came here just to laugh when Yukon's invention blows up (the
bastards).

Dino and Susan made their way through the small gathering of people, to the center of
the small plaza, where Tekken and Yukon were parading around a bulky mass, covered with a
tarp.

Tekken: Come one, come all, and be witness to the greatest scientific achievement since the
refrigerator! Marvel at awe, in our incredible, wonderful, awesome, indescribable new invention
[throws tarp off the machine] THE TELEPOD!

Yukon: We must beg you to contain your excitement, however difficult that may be. After all,
you shouldn't get yourself worked up over something that you know virtually nothing about!

Random Person: No need to worry about that!

Yukon: [Under breath] Shut up. [Out loud.] You should all consider that our wonderful,
stupendous, magnificent creation can do! This Telepod, can transform solid matter into energy,
shoot it across space, and reform it into solid matter again. That's right folks, our machine is in
actuality, a teleporter!

Random Person: Which means it's gonna make toast, right?

The sarcastic remark got laughs out of the majority of the crowd, but not from Dino.
Yukon was his best friend, and some noticed that he liked her a bit more than is good for a
person. In fact, Dino liked Yukon so much that if anyone or anything dared to so much as even
mock her, they'd find themselves facing an enraged flurry of fists, feet, teeth, and sword slashes
from Dino. This was something Susan got to experience up close in personal, as Dino
mercilessly pummeled the random person into oblivion. The out burst was so quick and so
violent, than everyone couldn't help but take notice.

Yukon: Dino! There you are! I was waiting all morning for you!

Dino: Yukon! [Drops lifeless body of Random Person.] Hey, sorry I didn't get here sooner, but I
ran into a few complications. Literally.

Yukon: It's okay. In fact, now that you're here, you can help me out! You see, I need someone to
help me demonstrate my latest invention! [Nuzzles up to Dino.] You think you could, you know,
give a visual demonstration for them? Please? [Batts eyelashes.]

Dino: Uh... [Chuckles nervously.] I dunno Yukon. I mean, do you have any guarantee that this
contraption of yours will work?

Susan: Aw, come on, Dino! Where's your sense of adventure? I mean, how horrible could the
experience be?

Yukon: [Glaring at Susan.] Hey, who's the bimbo?

Susan: [Suddenly red with rage.] What!? Bimbo!? How dare you call me that, you, you... you
bug-eyed, color-blind, wannabe cool, hormone-overloaded, bisexual fantasizing twat!

Yukon: !!! [Her body begins to shudder and shake with rage.]

Dino: [Gasps.]

Tekken: Oh no!

Yukon: [Clenches jaw, fists, and narrows eyes.]

Dino: Now you've done it!

Yukon: [Face becomes dark purple as her cheeks puff out.]

Susan: Wh... what did I do?

Yukon: [Her body is shaking so violently and her face is so purple and her cheeks are puffed out
so big that she literally looks like she's about to explode.]

Tekken: Everyone, take cover!

Yukon: GrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRR...... WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Tears shoot from Yukon's eyes like high pressure water streams and begin a massive
flood which appears to flood all of Moose Village. When all is said and done, however, very
little damage is done, and all we're left with is Yukon bawling her eyes out while the others
cower in fear. Finally, her father, Tekken, walks up to her to try and calm her down.

Tekken: Now, now, honey, please calm down. I'm sure she didn't mean those things, right?

Susan: Of course not, o please stop crying. I'm really sorry, really, I am! I didn't mean to upset
you like that! (Curse this overactive sympathy gland! Oh wait, what if it doesn't want to be
cursed? Awwww....) Please, if you don't stop crying [eyes water] you're gonna make me start
crying!

Yukon: [Sniffles and sobs a few more times, then blows her nose of a handkerchief.] Ahh...
much better. That was a good cry. [Turns to Susan.] And I forgive you. As a matter of fact, I
should apologize for calling you a bimbo in the first place!

Susan: And I forgive you too.

Yukon: Anyway, c'mon Dino, nothing could possible go wrong! This one works, I swear!

Dino: Well...

Susan: Please Dino, [Nuzzles up to Dino] for me?

Dino: [Blushes] Well... I guess I couldn't hurt. [Walks to the Telepod.]

Yukon: [Thinking bitterly.] She's trying to steal my guy!

As Dino positioned himself on the left platform to the Telepod, Yukon and Tekken began
powering up the massive machine, twisting dials, flipping switches and turning cranks to
generate a flow of electricity from the battery. After about five minutes of this, the machine was
finally powered up for teleportation.

Yukon: And now, marvel, ladies and gentlemen, as you lay witness to the Telepod's initial test
run!

Dino: Test? [Turns to Yukon.] YOU MEAN THIS THING HASN'T BEEN TESTED-

Just before Dino could finish his sentence, Yukon slammed down the activation lever,
causing a huge rush of electricity to hit Dino's body and transform it into pure matter, which was
then collected into a wire and sent streaming across into a receiver on the opposite platform,
where Dino re-materialized a few scant seconds later.

Dino: BEFORE!?!?! [Blinks.] Huh? Hey, what gives!? [Suddenly realizes that the teleportation is
complete.]

Susan: Wow!

Random Person2: [In awe.] I don't believe it.

Yukon: It worked. [The realization sinks in.] It worked! IT WORKED!

Tekken: [Crying.] I don't believe it. I spent every night the past few years, praying to
Goddramon that one day my little girl would finally create an invention that worked. And now
that day has finally arrived!

Yukon: [Laughs giddily and dances around.] Daddy! Daddy, it worked daddy! My invention
finally worked! [Runs up and hugs Tekken.]

Tekken: Oh my little sugar-bunny, I'm so proud of you! You have finally earned the right which
has been passed down to all inventors in our family for generations!

Yukon: [Eyes twinkle.] You mean...!

Tekken: Yes, you have earned yourself the right to the family maniacal laugh!

Yukon: Yay!! Listen well, daddy, I'll make you proud! [Clears throat.] Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-
ho-ho!

Tekken: No, sweetheart, it goes like this. [Throws head back.] WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-
HA-HA-HA!

Yukon: WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Tekken: That's it! Do it with me now! WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Yukon: WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Both: WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Susa n: [Whispering.] Do they do this often.

Dino: This is the first time ever, actually. [Looks down and notices that his gi-top is on
backwards.] Hey...

Yukon: Yes, you saw it here first, folks! The Telepod created by yours truly works like a charm!
Now who wants to be the next vict- I mean, volunteer!

Susan: Ooh-ooh! [Jumps up and down and waves hand wildly.] MemememememememeME!!

Yukon: Very well then, right this way please! [Leads Susan to the Telepod platform.] Now,
folks, gaze in wonder as this pretty young girl goes through my wonder-machine just like Dino
did before!

Susan: See you on the other side, Dino! [Blows a kiss.]

Yukon: [Mutter under her breath.] See you on the other side, Dino! Bah...

And once again, Yukon and her father began the long power up process to the Telepod.
Like before, they fliped switches, turned cranks, and twisted dials to get the power running. And
like before, it took five minutes to get the entire machine powered up and ready. But one thing
did not happen quite like it did before. Unlike when Dino was standing on the platform, Susan's
tag and crest somehow began glowing in syncopation with the energy pulses from the Telepod!

Susan: Hey, my tag and crest, they're glowing!

Yukon: [In a fake, German accent.] Now, trow de svitch! [Slams lever down.]

It all seemed to happen the exact same way as it had before. The discharge of electricity
that transformed Dino into energy, and then the travel to the other platform. However,
somewhere along the way, everything went wrong.
For some odd reason, Susan's tag and crest were not converted into energy like the rest
of Susan, instead, they clattered to the floor of the platform when Susan disappeared and
continued to glow brightly. Once Susan was halfway to the other platform, they shot out a stream
of energy, which caused then next few bizarre events. Instead of continuing her trip through
space, Susan re-materialized in mid air, with a very odd look on her face.

Susan: Hey, wh- what's happening?

In an instant, a blue portal opened up behind Susan, sucked her inside, and closed just as
quickly as it had opened. The spectators were all left flabbergasted at the sight of the
disappearing Susan!

Yukon: Wh- what happened? What went wrong?

Random Person3: I'll tell ya what went wrong, you're machine sucks, that's what went wrong!

Random Person2: I shoulda known it wouldn't work a second time.

Random Person: You suck, Yukon!

Dino: Hey, aren't you supposed to be dead!?

Random Person: Oh yeah. [Dies.]

All seven spectators quickly left the vicinity of the plaza, leaving Dino, Yukon, and
Tekken all alone, with a large piece of machinery, and one heck of a mystery on their hands.
Yukon just stared blankly at the machine, not sure of what to think. Tekken, on the other hand,
was very upset and shook his head in disgust.

Tekken: I'm very disappointed in you, Yukon! I thought you'd finally done something right, and
you still manage to screw it up! I'm afraid I'm gonna have to revoke your right to the family
maniacal laugh!

Yukon: [Suddenly bursting into tears.] It's not fair! I finally invent something that isn't a piece
of trash and it only works once! All I wanted was to have at least one success in life, if that too
much to ask?

Dino: Actually, Yukon, I don't think it was the machine that caused the problem this time.

Yukon & Tekken: It isn't?

Dino: No, the actual culprit for Susan's disappearance is this! [Holds up Susan's tag and crest.]

Yukon: Dino, how can a plastic trinket from a vending machine be the cause of Susan's
disappearance?

Dino: It's not just some trinket from a vending machine! If you'd been paying attention, you
would have seen that while the Telepod was powering up, Susan's tag and crest began to glow
and pulse in syncopation with the machine. When Susan was transformed into energy, her tag
and crest remained on the platform, instead of being transformed into energy as well. Then,
midway through teleporting, a beam of energy shot from the tag and crest and intercepted
Susan's energy stream, causing her to re-materialize in mid air, and then reacted with the
machine's energy to create a portal, which Susan was then sucked into. And once the machine
powered down, the energy stream needed to keep the portal open was lost, and so the portal
closed on itself.

Yukon: You mean to tell me you noticed all of that?

Dino: Of course I did! What do you think I am, stupid?

Tekken: Well-

Dino: Don't answer that.

Yukon: You think I could take a look at it, Dino? [Dino hands Yukon the tag and crest. Yukon
then pulls down a lense on her helmet and begins to examine the tag and crest closely.] I was
right in my suspicions, this tag is nothing but cheap plastic colored silver! But the crest, now the
crest is interesting. It seems to be made from some strange material I've never even seen before!
On the microscopic level, the molecules seem to have a gold appearance instead of a blue one!

Tekken: But what does it mean, Yukon?

Yukon: This crest is a sort of energy amplifier, and it somehow altered the power of the Telepod
so much that it created a portal to another place!

Dino: So then can't we just use that knowledge to get Susan back?

Yukon: It won't be that easy. I know that it altered and increased the power of the Telepod in
some way, but I don't know what that way is. Susan could have just been teleported a few miles
from here or on the other side of the world! Not only that, but Susan may have ended up in
another time, or even another dimension!

Dino: So then how do we get Susan back?

Yukon: There's only one way to get Susan back: someone will have to go after her while I stay
here and figure out what happened and how to reverse it!

Dino: I knew you'd find some way to exclude yourself from the danger involved.

Tekken: I'd volunteer myself to go and find that lovely young girl, but I think it'd be better if I
stayed here and made sure my little girl doesn't slack off.

Dino: So then, who are we going to send?

Yukon and Tekken then glanced at Dino in a way that sent chills up his spine.

Dino: Why are you two looking at me that way?

In an instant, they both lunged forward and grabbed Dino by the arms, then dragged him
towards the Telepod kicking and srceaming.

Yukon: Come on Dino, I thought you said you loved excitement and adventure.

Dino: Not when it involves risking my life, I don't!

Tekken: Relax, Dino, what could possible go wrong?

Dino: You mean besides just about EVERYTHING!?

Yukon: Come on Dino, Susan could be in trouble! Can't you find it in your heart to not be so
selfish?

Dino: [Breaks free and runs to the other side of the plaza.] No. I'm not doing it. And there is
nothing you can do, or say, that will make me change my mind.

This type of response was typical from Dino. And Yukon was always ready for it in case
it happened. Rather than scream and yell and bitch at him to go through the process, she calmly,
cooly, walked up to him, grabbed him by the arm, and dangled the tag and crest in front of
Dino's face.

Yukon: If you do it, I'll wear that beret and white t-shirt outfit you like so much.

Dino: [Snatches tag and crest from Yukon.] Gimme that. [Runs over to the Telepod.] Hey
Tekken, what are you standing around for? Get that machine up and running! I have a girl to
save!

Yukon: That's the spirit, Dino!

And once again, for the third time that day, Yukon and her father Tekken spent five
minutes starting up the Telepod. They twisted dials, flipped switches, turned cranks and
monitored the energy output. The events once again transpired as before; first the machine
powered up as normal, and the tag and crest began to glow. Dimly at first, but brighter and
brighter with each passing moment. Then came the energy discharge, and Dino was flung
through the air in a stream of energy just like the first time. This time, however, a second energy
stream interrupted the process and his body materialized in mid air. A few seconds later, a blue
portal opened up behind him and he was immediately sucked inside. As the world he knew
vanished from his sight, her heard Yukon exclaim:

Yukon: Don't worry Dino, if you end up dying, I'll take good care of your rare soda can
collection!

Devimon Voice-over: Will Dino survive his trip through the portal and find Susan, or has Yukon
juts made the biggest screw up in her life? You better read the next episode of Digi Trigger to
find out, or else I'll tell Etemon where you live! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-
HA!