Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Digi-Trigger ❯ A Bridge Too Poorly Kept! ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Yukon VO: So we finally found the time gate we needed and entered it, only to find ourselves at
the End of Time! After some help from an Old Geezer and Otakkio, we were prepared to go back
through time and fight Lavosmon!

Except that when we tried to return to our own time, we were side-tracked to the wrong location:
Server Village! And because of the bad blood between humans and Digimon, well, lets just say
were in real trouble. Luckily, and old man named Mook saved us and told us how to get back to
Odaiba! One encounter with a giant, squishy Wormmon later, and we were on our way home, and
made an important discovery- in order to prevent Lavosmon from destroying our future, we had to
kill the person responsible for creating him, the Myotismon!

Digi-Trigger Episode 6: A Bridge Too Poorly Kept!


After arriving back home from Server Village, Yukon, Dino, and Susan immediately set
their minds on heading off to the fair to open up the time portal and go back to the year 600 AD.
Unfortunately for them, Rocko was still whining about his hand, and refused to go anywhere else
until it was replaced. So they all decided to spend the night at home until they were all ready to go.
Yukon dragged Rocko to her house/workshop to work on his repairs, while Dino and Susan went
to Dino's house to sleep. It wasn't until noon the next day when the group reunited at Yukon's
house to begin planning.

Dino: [walks through front door and peeks around] Hello, Yukon? Can we come in?

Susan: [walks in] Hey Yukon, we're here to talk about the plan to save the world! [Looks around
to see that nobody's around.]

Dino: That's strange, they never go anywhere on Saturdays.

Susan: Why not?

Dino: No social life.

[rimshot]

Yukon: [In next room.] I heard that!

Dino: Crud.

Yukon: Come on in, guys, I'm just finishing up on something.

Dino and Susan walked into the next room, where they found Yukon hard at work with
some strange contraption.

Dino: Hey Yukon, what are you w-

Yukon: [begins pouring a green liquid into a small basin] Shh! Not while I'm pouring. . .

[brief silence as Yukon finishes]

Susan: Um, okay. Hey listen, Yukon, what's this you're working on?

Yukon: Isn't it obvious?

Dino: . . . no. . .

Yukon: Well then watch and find out!

Yukon the proceeded to turn some nobs and dials, and the massive contraption in front of
her began to shudder and sputter to life. After a few minutes of beeping, whirring, clanking, and
doing whatever the heck huge machines do, it finally stopped, and out of its top ejected two
golden brown pieces of toast.

Yukon: It works, it WORKS! WHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!

Dino: You're getting pretty good at that.

Yukon: Thanks.

Susan: Yes, it's nice and loud and all, but what did it do?

Yukon: Don't you see? [holds up toast] It's an electric toaster! [Dino and Susan sweatdrop.] I'm a
genius, I tell you! With this invention, people will be able to have perfectly toasted, golden brown
slices of bread for breakfast without the risk of burning it, and only in a few minutes. I'll be rich
and famous for sure!

Susan: Well, that's very nice Yukon. But, it's also already been invented.

Yukon: . . . Awww. . . [kicks ground] fiddlesticks. And I was so sure of its success too.

At that moment, Yukon's parents, Tekken (last seen in episode 1) and Ghosty (in a
wheelchair) walked/wheeled down the stairs to see what all the hub-bub was about.

Tekken: What's all the hub-bub about? Me and your mother were just about ready to have- I
mean, play Monopoly, when we heard all this racket downstairs.

Yukon: It was just my latest invention, dad, an electric toaster.

Ghosty: But hasn't that already been invented, dear?

Yukon: [angrily] So I've heard.

Dino: Hey, Ghostyhead, aren't you supposed to be playing my mom?

Ghosty: Shhhhhhh. . .

Tekken: Oh, hey Princess Nadia! How are you?

Ghosty: Princess Nadia? So then Dino really DID kidnap her!

Dino: No! I tell you I'm innocent. [Jumps up on couch.] You'll never take me alive, I tell you! I'm
not going back there!

Ghosty: Oh, relax Dino, I was just kidding. Yukon and her robot friend explained the entire thing
to us last night.

Dino: Oh, uh, I knew that. I was just testing you, that's all. Heh. . .

Susan: Speaking of which, where is Rocko anyway?

Yukon: Oh, he's under this sheet on the worktable. See? [Removes work table to reveal the
lifeless body of Rocko, with several panels open and various wires and tubes sticking out of him.]

Yukon then pushed the "on" button on Rocko's back and the robot sprung to life with all
the usual fanfare of the last two times.

Rocko: IIIIIIIIIIIII LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dino: You know, if he's gonna do that every time he's reactivated, I'm going to have to rip his
voice box out.

Rocko: [hops off table] I'd like to see you try, goggle boy.

Susan: Well then, now that the gang's all here, I guess we should start with the meeting and
discuss our plans.

Tekken: I guess that's our cue to go away.

Ghosty: And I only had three lines.

Our four heros waited until Yukon's parents left, and then began to discuss their plans.

Dino: So what is the plan, anyway?

Yukon: Well, me and Rocko talked about it last night, and decided the best way to save the world
would be to stop the Myotismon before he created Lavosmon, thus erasing Lavosmon from the
history of the world, and saving the future.

Susan: I thought we already established that last episode?

Rocko: [To Yukon.] See? I TOLD you!

Dino: Hey, let's not waste anymore page space with pointless bickering and try and focus on more
important things; like how we're supposed to actually go about stopping this Myotismon guy.

Yukon: Well, the only way I can think of is to go over to his castle and kill him before he creates
Lavosmon.

Dino: Sounds like a plan to me! Let's go!

Susan: Wait a second, we can't just go back there and beat this guy to a bloody pulp, you know!

Dino: 'Course we can! We just use the T-3, go back in time, break into Myotismon's castle, and
kick some Digimon boo-tay!

Susan: Except we can't do that, because we don't know where Myotismon's castle was located!

Dino: We don't? Then how did we beat him and his Digimon armies in the war between the
Humans and Digimon?

Rocko: I seem to recall that victory was won when the Myotismon mysteriously vanished from the
face of the earth one day. The Digimon were so unorganized, that they soon fell without a leader to
guide them.

Dino: Oh. . . . Well, then how are we supposed to beat him in the past if we can't find him, and
stop him from creating Lavosmon.

Yukon: Well, I'm not exactly sure, but I believe that there was one soldier in the entire human
army that actually knew the coordinates of Myotismon's castle. But the war ended before he could
tell anyone.

Dino: Well then, that settles it! We go back in time, find this guy who knows the location of
Myotismon's castle, and kick his sorry behind all the way to kingdom come!

Rocko: [Silently to Yukon] I find it amazing how he acts so brave when he _isn't_ in the face of
danger.

* * * *

Now, as you may already know, in order to travel back and forth through time, Dino and
company needed to utilize a "Time Gate." The thing is, Time Gates only appear in places where
the fabric of time and space is weakest. This means that Time Gates will only open in certain
places, and unfortunately for Dino and co. Yukon's house wasn't one of those places. And since
they didn't have time to go out and search for a new place to open a Time Gate, this meant that
they had to go to one of the locations where they knew a Time Gate had already been opened.
There was one in Server Village, but using that one meant risking being ripped apart by angry
Digimon with a grudge against humanity, so they quickly ruled that one out. Using the gate near
Odaiba Castle would mean risking the chance of being arrested again, so that left only one option:
the Millennial Fair gate. The fair, though, was still in full swing, and was crawling with many
people. Some of which would probably recognize Dino, Yukon, and Susan, and turn them in. So
in order to get to the Fair gate, they needed some sort of disguise. Luckily, Rocko knew just the
thing.

Yukon: Rocko, are you sure wearing these things will work?

Rocko: Of course it will.

Susan: No it won't. Who ever heard of anyone being fooled by Groucho Marx glasses?

Dino: You know, I suddenly have this craving for some duck soup.

Rocko: It'll work, trust me!

Is if fate (or myself) were to test the validity of Rocko's statement, who should the group
run across at the fair but King Odaiba XXXIIII! (For those of you who've forgotten, King Odaiba
XXXIIII is Susan's dad.)

Yukon, Dino, and Susan: EEP!

King Odaiba: Pardon me travelers, but would any of you three happen to know where the
refreshments stand is?

Rocko: Uh, sure, it's over there. [Points.]

King Odaiba: Thank you. [Turns to leave, but stops, and begins to look Dino, Susan, and Yukon
up and down.] Say, do I know you three from somewhere.

Rocko: [Thinking.] Uh-oh.

Susan: No, of course not da- [Yukon elbows her in the ribs.] -OW! I mean, no, you're majesty.

King Odaiba: [Thinks for a moment.] Oh well, I guess you're right. Sorry to bother you, carry on!

All four heroes let out a sigh of relief as the King Walked on, oblivious to the fact that he
had just confronted his own daughter and her two fugitive friends.

Rocko: See, I-

Susan: Rocko, you say I told you so, and I'm gonna rip your voice box out through your exhaust
pipe.

Rocko:. . .Never mind.

And so they successfully bypassed all forms of security at the Millennial Fair and made it
to the spot where everything began just days ago. Now all that remained was to open the time gate
and take a 400 year trip to the past, where hopefully they'd be able to prevent the Myotismon from
creating that horrible creature that would destroy the future, Lavosmon. They arrived in Moose
Canyon, 400 years earlier, and after being chased by a Moosemon for about an hour, made their
way to Odaiba castle, where they hoped to ask King Odaiba XXI (Susan's great-great-great-great-
great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grea t-great grandpa) for assistance in their mission. Of
course, it seemed like a good enough plan. Yukon had timed everything so that they would arrive
at about the same time that the location of the Myotismon's castle was discovered, and since they
would be aiding the King in winning the war against the Digimon, he was sure to help them out.
Unfortunately, even the best laid plans can fall to ruination. Upon arriving at Odaiba
castle, our heroes discovered that the king had been badly wounded in battle, and was in no shape
to give out aid. Likewise, all that remained in the castle were a few incompetent guards-

Guard no Miko & Kat: HEY!

-because all the real soldiers and knights had gone to the front lines to defend the South
Bridge from the Digimon. Needless to say, their plans weren't working out the way they'd hoped.
So, after gathering up some food rations, our heroes set out to the front line in order to help out, in
hopes that the knight captain would be able to give them some necessary information. (Oh yeah,
and there was this little sub-plot involving the relationship between the royal cook and the knight
captain, who happen to be brothers, but its unimportant, so we'll skip it.)

Chef TK: My ONE important scene. . . *grumbles*

Meanwhile, at the front line. . .

Skull-Satamon: Nail Bone!

Lady Devimon: Darkness Wave!

Both attacks screamed across the air, until they struck the armored bodies of the royal
soldiers, who were killed instantly in their job of acting as a buffer. Fortunately, they served their
purpose well, as the attacks had been so diffused by the time they reached the knights that they did
nothing more than knock the armor-clad warriors off their feet. These brave, fearless, heroic
fighters were known only as the Knights of the Table of the Shape of the Geometrical properties of
a Parallelogram and a Rhombus and a Rectangle known as a Square! (Or simple put, the Knights
of the Square Table.)

Knight Captain Yamato: Stand your ground, men! We must not allow them to break through. We
can't allow them to win!

Sir Henry of the KotST: Right! Because if they take the bridge, they'll have a direct rout to the
castle, thus putting the life of our king in danger!

Knight Captain Yamato: No! Because if we lose then it'll make me look bad.

Sir Henry of the KotST: *grumble* Nice to know you have your priorities straight. *grumble*

Lady Rika of the KotST: Here they come again!

Skull-Satamon: Bone Nail!

And once again, the attack seared through the air, hitting everyone except the knights, who
took cover behind a large rock.

Skull-Satamon: In bowling, I believe they call that a strike.

Lady Devimon: Funny, I seem to remember the pins in bowling being known as duck pins, not
chicken pins! [Both laugh obnoxiously.]

Lady Rika of the KotST: [jumping atop the rock] Who are you calling a chicken!? I'll rip you
apart, you over-stuffed, leather clad succubus whore!

Lady Devimon: That's it! Darkness Wave! [Rika just barely ducks for cover behind the boulder in
time.]

Lady Rika of the KotST: This is getting us nowhere fast. We shouldn't be hiding behind rocks or
soldiers, waiting for them to destroy everything in sight before we retaliate! That's how we lost the
bridge battle last time!

Knight Captain Yamato:[whining] How was I supposed to know they'd blow up the bridge.

Lady Rika of the KotST: NEVERMIND! We need to retaliate and fight back! We're powerful
warriors, after all. We'd be able to take care of them in a heartbeat!

Sir Takato of the KotST: I agree with Rika. Heck, we could have won already a spared the
needless loss of millions of lives on our side if we just attacked from the start!

Knight Captain Yamato: Hey, I'm the captain here, and we do things my way or it's the highway
for you three! [Loud grumbles come from their stomachs.] Besides, we haven't eaten in days. We
don't have the strength to fight back.

Sir Henry of the KotST: Dammit, where are those food rations we sent for last month, anyway?

At that moment. . .

Dino: Okay Yukon, so what do you see through those binocular thingies on that oversized, goofy
looking helmet of yours?

Yukon: Let's see. . . [adjusts focus] Uh oh, it doesn't look good, guys. The entire army of soldiers
has been wiped out and all that remains are a few knights hiding behind a rock. And they're being
bombarded by attacks from two really evil looking Digimon!

Susan: Dino, we have to help those knights! Can't this rickshaw go any faster?

Dino: Just leave it to me, Susan! [Cracks whip.] Mush! [Cracks whip again.] Mush! [Cracks whip
yet again.] Come on, pick up the pace, you lazy beast, you!

Rocko: [Whip cracks.] OW! Watch it, goggle boy. [Whip cracks.] Ouch! Hey, I'm going as fast as
I can here.

Dino: Well that's not good enough! [Cracks whip.] Go faster.

Rocko. *grumbles* FASTER, he says? Alright, that does it, you want faster? I'll give you faster!
[Begins zooming at such a high speed that he causes everyone else to fall off the rickshaw.]

Dino: [chasing after] Rocko, you're supposed to go faster with us still inside of the rickshaw!

At the bridge. . .

Lady Rika of the KotST: Just try that again, hell bitch!

Lady Devimon: Look who's calling who a hell bitch!

Sir Takato of the KotST: Rika, I don't think it's a good idea to be taunting the voluptuous lady
devil like that.

Lady Rika of the KotST: Quiet, weakling! I'm tired of your whining and all this sitting around
doing nothing. Now's the time for action, and I'm gonna crush that woman beneath my heal!
[stomach grumbles loudly, and Rika collapses with her back to the rock]

Sir Henry of the KotST: Rika you know I wouldn't dare keep you from your violent desires, but
the fact is that we're all too weak from hunger to do much of anything.

Knight Captain Yamato: If those rations we sent what's-his-name-

Sir Henry of the KotST: Willis.

Knight Captain Yamato: Who? Never mind. Anyway, if we don't get those supplies soon, I'm
afraid we just might lose.

As if on cue, the great scream that could only be emitted by a robot charging full speed
while towing a rickshaw came from the horizon, and was quickly followed by Rocko. Having lost
control of his speed, all he could do was careen out of control and flip over onto his side, causing
all the boxes of food to spill out right in front of the four remaining knights. Needless to say, they
wasted no time in ripping the boxes open and devouring the contents. They cared not that they
were all easy targets for the two attacking Digimon now, nor did they care to help Rocko to his
feet.

Rocko: Ow.

Even so, neither Skull-Satamon nor Lady Devimon took notice at their opponents'
vulnerability. They had much bigger problems to deal with. Problems with a capital 'E'.

[Eddiemon appears with much fanfare and flashy-washy lights.]

Eddiemon: [Hums Elvis theme music.] Thang-ya, thang-ya very much!

Skull-Satamon: [to self] Oh no, not him.

Eddiemon: Hey there ya Digi-demons, how goes th' battle? Kill all them humans yet?

Lady Devimon: [With much restraint.] Things are going exactly as according to plan, master
Eddiemon. We've defeated all the soldiers the humans sent us to fight, and now all that remains a
four starved knights cowering behind a boulder.

Skull-Satamon: You can tell Lord Myotismon that we should have everything here wrapped up in
just a few hours.

Eddiemon: Well you better, cause I've-a got m'self a victory concert planned on the other side of
the village once all's clear, to announce the Digimon superiority to all them humans out there and
turn 'em into our slaves!

Lady Devimon: [sweatdrops] Um, yes sir!

Skull-Satamon: [privately to Lady Devimon.] What d'ya you say, Lady D., should we drag this
fight out for a few more days?

Lady Devimon: [Privately to Skull-Satamon.] Either that or let them kill us. But I'd do anything to
keep that Elvis-impersonating primate from singing!

Eddiemon: Hey now, what're you two babblin' about?

Skull-Satamon: N-nothing sir! We just, um. . . [looks over at knights pigging out on food rations]
HEY! What's going on over there!?

Indeed, what was going on over there? That's what Dino, Susan, and Yukon wanted to
know as soon as they arrived, at that very moment.

Dino: Hey Rocko, what the heck's the big ide-

Dino made the mistake of walking too close to the food rations, and as such, witnessed the
frightful sight of the four nights growling at him like rabid animals while putting themselves
between him and their food.

Dino: [Nervously.] Heh. . . I think I'm going to stand over there. . .

Yukon: These must be the knights, huh?

Susan: [Sweatdrops.] Must be. . .

And with the Digimon. . .

Eddiemon: Those guys must be the new recruits the knights sent for!

Lady Devimon: How clever. They must have smuggled them in with the food rations. But my,
what ugly looking cretins.

Skull-Satamon: What do you say we put them out of their misery?

Lady Devimon: Let's!

Eddiemon: Uh, okay. You two go an'uh do that. Ah'm just gonna stay back here and look
important. Yeah, that's it!

Skull-Satamon: Hmph, whatever.

Lady Devimon: At least he'll be far away from us.

On the other side, Dino and co. were having a devil of a time trying to keep the knights
from mauling them for getting too close to their food.

Yukon: Hey, we're on your side, stop that!

Susan: (Holding up wooden stool.) Back, back I say! [Takato bites off a leg from the stool.] Oh
my. . .

Dino: Quick everyone, run away!

And run away they did. Unfortunately, they ended up running right into the attack of Lady
Devimon and Skull-Satamon!

Skull-Satamon: Nail Bone!

Lady Devimon: Darkness Wave!

Dino, Susan & Yukon: Damn you Mr. Authooooooooooooor! *CRASH*

Lady Devimon: Well, that was much easier than expected.

Skull-Satamon: Yeah, except our attacks seemed to have missed that one metal looking guy over
there.

Rocko: [Thinking.] Uh-oh, I sure hope they aren't talking about me.

Lady Devimon: No matter, we'll just have to focus our efforts on him now.

Rocko: [Thinking.] Crud.

Skull-Satamon: All right then, Nail B-

Rocko: [Holds up hand.] WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIT! Before you do that, I have to make sure my
friends are all okay back here.

Skull-Satamon: Okay, okay, but make it quick!

Rocko: [Shakes Dino.] Hey Dino, wake up man! Those two Digimon are about to attack!

Dino: Oooh. . . pretty birdies. . .

Rocko: . . . [Moves to Susan.] Susan! Wake up! If you don't do something, those two are going to
turn me into scrap metal!

Susan: [Silence.]

Rocko: Susan?

Susan: [Silence.]

Rocko: Susan, come on!

Susan: [Silence.]

Rocko: Susan, why won't you talk to me?

Susan: Because I'm unconscious you moron!

Rocko: Oh, sorry. [Drops Susan and moves to Yukon.] Yukon! You've got to help me! Please, I'll
do anything for you, ANYTHING! Just don't let them hurt me!

Yukon: No.

Rocko: Rats. [Thinks to himself.] What am I gonna do? What do I do? Those guys are so scary
and mean. I know, I'll go hide somewhere!

Okay, this is getting pathetic.

Rocko: Who said that?

Me.

Rocko: Who's me?

The author of this parody. And I must say, I'm very disappointed in you, Rocko.

Rocko: You are?

Yes! You're a robot, for crying out loud. 7 ft 8 in and 729 lbs of steel. You've got weapons
up the wazoo, and a helluva lot of power packing in that huge, goofy looking backpack of yours.
And with all that, you mean to tell me that you're SCARED? And of what? Two Digimon who
have a total of three attacks between the two of them! They don't stand a chance against you!

Rocko: Oh yeeeeaaaah. Thanks for the pep talk, Mr. Author. Now I know what I have to do!

Skull-Satamon: Hey, can I go and finish my attack now? This is getting boring.

Rocko: Just as soon as I do this! [Runs up and punches Skull Satamon in the gut, sending him
flying across the bridge.]

Skull-Satamon: Yeaaaaaaaaaarrrrgh!

Lady Devimon: Hey, that's not fair! You were supposed to let us attack you first!

Rocko: Tell it to someone who cares, you big-breasted, she-demon, leather-clad hoochie!

Lady Devimon: GrrrrrrRRRRRrrrrrRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRR! THAT'S IT, YOU'RE DEAD!
CRIMSON-

Rocko: Gattling Fist! [Begins to pummel Lady D. in the stomach at an intense speed, eventually
sending her flying to land right next to Skull-Satamon.]

Skull-Satamon: Uoooough. . . anybody get the truck of that licence plate number that hit me?

Lady Devimon: [gags] My. . . stomach. . .

Rocko: Hey, you've got a softer gut than I though. [Thinks.] You don't work out much, do you?

Lady Devimon: Shut-up, you tin plated fool! You're going to pay for that. *cough* Just as soon as
I get the wind back into my lungs. . . Ooooough. . .

Rocko: [Thinking aloud.] You know, if you're soft in the stomach, then it would stand to reason
that you're soft in other places too, like the arms, the legs, your butt, and even. . . hey. . .

Skull-Satamon: Uh-oh, Lady D., maybe you better let me deal with this guy. I don't like the look
on his face.

Lady Devimon: [Breathing hard.] Oh shut up. That's it Tin Man, you're going down!

Rocko: Before you do anything, I'd like to demonstrate to you the crushing power in my hands.
Observe. [Picks up a large stone from out of nowhere, and proceeds to grind it up into a fine
powder in just one hand. He does so again with another stone in the other hand.]

Lady Devimon: Yeah, is there a point to this?

Rocko: Just so that you know how afraid you should be when I yell out my next attack; PURPLE
NURPLE! [Pinches fingers together in the air.]

Lady Devimon: [Covers her chest with arms.] NOOOOOOOOOOOO! [Flees in terror.]

Rocko: [Chases.] You can run but you can't hide!

Eddiemon: Hey now, what's goin' on 'round-

Lady Devimon: [Ducks behind Eddiemon.] Save me! He's going to pinch my boobies!

Eddiemon: And you call yourself an Ultimate, you're nothin' more than a little whin'n Baby level
Digimon!

Skull-Satamon: But Eddiemon this guy's too strong. . .

Eddiemon: [pushes Lady Devimon out in front] Strong, shmong, I don't care if he's able to bench-
press a Whamon, you two go out there and reduce him to scrap metal! 'Sides, not like he or
anyone of his buddies is packing magic.

Yukon: Nova Blast! [Shoots a huge fireball from her palm, which chars both Lady D. and Skull-
Satamon.)

Skull-Satamon: [coughs] You were saying? [Both Digimon collapse at Eddiemon's feet.]

Rocko: [whines] Yukon, what'd you do that for? I wanted to beat them!

Yukon: Because you were taking too long. Besides, if I let you keep fighting, you'd probably
spend all the episode trying to pinch Lady Devimon's breasts!

And suddenly, the audience gasps!

Yukon: Yes, that's right, I said breasts. Grow up.

Susan: [Scribbling on notepad.] . . .Eight. . .

Rocko: Awe nuts. . . hey, I thought you guys were all unconscious, anyway.

Dino: We recovered quickly. And that doesn't matter, anyway. What matters is now we can kick
this annoying, monkey suited, screechy voiced loser's butt all the way to Pizza Hut!

Eddiemon: I dun think so goggle boy! [Yells] Marine Devimon!

With a great roar, splash, and a whole lot of special effects, Marine Devimon erupted from
beneath the surface of the water to take on our heros.

Marine Devimon: Graaaagh!

Rocko: Oh, hell no. . .

Yukon: Leave this guy to us, Rocko! [attacks] Nova Blast!

The massive fireball launched through the air and impacted Marine Devimon directly in
the face. But, since he was all wet and covered with water, the attack did little more than dry him
out a little, and Marine Devimon countered that effect by splashing his face in the water. All in all,
it didn't do any good.

Susan: My turn! Ice Blast!

Susan's attack, on the other hand, was far more effective on the massive, tentacled brute,
as it froze his body solid.

Susan: Mmm. . . I just love frozen calamari.

Lady Rika of the KotST: [Belches.] Please, not while I'm digesting. . .

Unfortunately, Marine Devimon quickly used his brute strength to break the ice that
imprisoned him, and thus was still in the game. (Although a tad bit frostbitten.)

Susan: Drat. Guess that means Dino will be the one to beat him.

Dino: Me!? Why me?

Rocko: Because you're the only one who hasn't used their attack yet, stupid.

Dino: Oh yeah, well okay, here goes nothing. [powers up] Electro Shocker!

I don't think I need to tell you what happens next. But in case you're too stupid to figure it
out, Dino's electrical attack was just what was needed to take out Marine Devimon, because since
water conducts electricity, the all wet Marine Devimon was much like a huge lightning rod.
Basically, Marine Devimon got fried.

Marine Devimon: [being electrocuted] YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAARGH OH MOMMY IT
HURTS! [Collapses and falls face first onto the bridge, right on top of Skull-Satamon and Lady
D.]

Dino: That's got to hurt.

Susan: And now it's your turn, you person in a monkey costume!

Eddiemon: P-person in a- Why ah resent that remark! And b'sides, I'm not outta body guards yet!

Yukon: Don't give us that crap, all three of your flunkies have been beaten.

Eddiemon: True, true, but they're not dead yet, and that means they're still useful t'me! [Takes out
a microphone.] Now to start things off, here's a little diddy that will reduce these guys to their
bare bones!

Skull-Satamon: But I'm already-

Eddiemon: Shut-up. Now listen to this: [clears throat] AH!

Just like he said, all three Digimon were reduced to skeletons.

Lady Devimon: [sob] My figure. . .

Eddiemon: And now time for the main attraction!

Dino: What's he doing?

Eddiemon: And-a-one, and-a-two, and-a- [sings] 'Dem bones, 'dem bones, 'dem dry bones, 'dem
bones, 'dem bones. . .

Oh horror upon horrors! Eddiemon proved to be a much more formidable nemesis than our
heroes believed, not due to his strength, but due to his horrid singing voice! Paralyzed the horrible
sound that was Eddiemon's song, Dino, Rocko, Yukon, and Susan were unable to attack, and
rendered completely and utterly helpless! Not even the legendary Knights of the Table of the
Shape of the Geometrical properties of a Parallelogram and a Rhombus and a Rectangle known as
a Square could resist, and quickly crumbled to Eddiemon's power. And then, suddenly, just when
all seemed lost, he STOPPED! Not because he had mercy on them, but because he finished his
song.

Dino: [crying] Whatever the reason is, just thank God that he's finished!

Eddiemon: Don' count me out just yet, goggle boy. I may be finished, but he's just begun!

Yukon: He? He who?

Eddiemon: Feast your eyes, boys and girls, for the skeletons of mah fallen flunkies have heard my
song and responded to the call of their master and risen, commin' to life once again and formin'
th' formidable, powerful, and extremely ill tempered. . .

SkullGreymon: SKUUUUUULLLLLLLLGREEEEYYYYMOOON!

Susan: Don't tell me he's going to sing to us too!

Eddiemon: What? No! He's not gonna' sing to ya' silly little girl, he's gonna' kill ya's!

Rocko: He could do both if his singing is anything like yours.

Eddiemon: What!? Tha's it, SkullGreymon, kill 'em!

SkullGreymon: [Lumbers forward.] Gwaaaaaaaargh!

Dino: Quick, let's end this pointless fight now and hit him with everything we've got! [attacks]
Electro Shocker!

Yukon: Nova Blast!

Susan: Ice Blast!

Rocko: Check it out everyone, I've got another attack to show off in this episode! [backpack
transforms into twin shoulder cannons.] Twin Beam!

Despite their valiant, efforts, SkullGreymon was three times more powerful than the
previous three devil Digimon were, and thus, all four attacks hardly even phased him.

Dino: We're screwed.

SkullGreymon: Gwaaaaaaaaaargh!

Kight Captain Yamato: [holds hand up] Hoooooold everything!

Everything came to grinding halt at that moment!

Knight Captain Yamato: . . .

. . .What?

Knight Captain Yamato: You're really bored today, aren't you.

Hey, shut up and read your damn lines!

Knight Captain Yamaton: What!? How dare you speak to me this way? Don't you know who I
am? I'm Yamato Ishida the most grossly over popular character in all of Digimon!

I don't care if you're if you're the queen of England. When you're in my fic, you treat me
with the respect I deserve, whether you like it or not! Remember, to you, I AM God, so you better
watch your mouth, you guitar playing sissy-boy, or else I'll mess up your face so bad, your own
MOMMA will hate it!

Knight Captain Yamato: [grumbles] Bastard, who does he think he is? Just wait until my rabid
fangirls find out about this. They'll strip his bones of their flesh so fast-

Lady Rika of the KotST: Hey, blondie, you think you could shut up and say your stupid lines
already? Nobody cares about your throngs of fangirls.

Kight Captain Yamato: Huh? The story? Oh, right, [clears throat]. I, Captain Yamato of the
Knights of the Table of the Shape of the Geometrical properties of a Parallelogram and a Rhombus
and a Rectangle known as a Square have decided that things have become so dire that we must
intervene. Your kind will terrorize the people of Odaiba no more, because now that our bellies are
full, we have the power necessary to destroy you! [turns to the knights] Ready everyone?

Knights: Ready!

Kight Captain Yamato: Present swords! [they present their swords] Initiate the ultimate attack
protocol! [Points sword into the air.] Sword of Earth!

A beam of brown light shot from the blade of the Knight Captain's sword, straight into the
air. It was shortly followed by beams of red, blue, and white light, each one extending from the
other three knights' swords. All four beams combined in mid air, sending one large, bright beam
shooting through the sky.

Lady Rika of the KotST: Sword of Fire!

Sir Henry of the KotST: Sword of Wind!

Sir Takato of the KotST: Sword of Water!

Eddiemon: Hey, what's a-goin' on round here? [Skullgreymon shrugs.]

Dino: Oh no. . .

Susan: Don't tell me. . .

Yukon: It cant' be. . .

Rocko: They aren't. . .

A figure began to form at the spot where all four beams converged, and shot upwards from
that point, growing larger and more visible the higher it got, until it fully formed and emerged
from the now dissipating beams.

Figure: When your powers combine, I am Captain Planet!

Knights: Go Planet!

Rocko: [Disgusted] They did.

Yukon: [slaps forehead] Oi-vey.

Captain Planet: What seems to be the problem, Knights of the Table of the Shape of the
Geometrical properties of a Parallelogram and a Rhombus and a Rectangle known as a Square?

Knight Captain Yamato: Oh mighty Captain Planet, we, the Knights of the Table of the Shape of
the Geometrical properties of a Parallelogram and a Rhombus and a Rectangle known as a
Square, have called upon you so that you may lend us your aid by kicking the butt of that giant
skeletal dinosaur over there!

Captain Planet: No problem, Knights of the Table of the Shape of the Geometrical properties of a
Parallelogram and a Rhombus and a Rectangle known as a Square, it'll be a piece of cake! And
remember, the Power is Yours! [Flies right in front of SkullGreymon.] Okay, Digimon Eco-
Villain, it looks like I'm going to-

But before the blue superhero could finish his sentence, SkullGreymon smashed his two,
boney hands together, crushing Captain Planet between his palms. Because his body was made of
crystal, Captain Planet's body shattered easily, and was promptly ground into a fine, powdery dust
by the large, boney dinosaur. And thus, the worlds lamest superhero was no more. And there was
much rejoicing.

Everyone: [dully] Yaaay.

Knight Captain Yamato: Wait a minute, that wasn't something to cheer about! Captain Planet was
our ultimate attack, our final defense against SkullGreymon! Now that he's dead, we're powerless
to stop him!

Dino: So, now what do we do?

Lady Rika of the KotST: I have a suggestion.

Susan: Yeah?

Lady Rika of the KotST: RUN AWAY!

Everyone (minus SkullG. and Eddiemon): AUGH! RUN AWAY! Run, run, run away! Run away!
Run away! Run. . .

Eddiemon: Well don't just stand there lookin' as useless as a computer with Windows 95, go an'
chase after 'em.

SkullGreymon: GWAAAAAAAARGH! [chases everyone]

Everyone: Run Away! Run Away! Run, run, run away! Run away! Run. . .

SkullGreymon: GWAAAAAAARGH!

Everyone: Run Away! Run Away! Run, run, run away! Run away! Run. . .

SkullGreymon: GWAAAAAAARGH!

Everyone: Run Away! Run Away! Run, run, run away! Run away! Run. . .

SkullGreymon: GWAAAAAAARGH!

SkullGreymon: GWAAAAAAARGH! [Stops and notices that he isn't chasing anyone anymore.
Confused, he walks off in search of his victems.]

Everyone: [wispering and hushing one another] Shh, shh, be quiet! He'll find us. Tippy toe,
everyone. Shh. . .

SkullGreymon: GWAAAAAAAARGH!

Everyone: AUGH! Run Away! Run Away! Run, run, run away! Run away! Run. . .

SkullGreymon: GWAAAAAAARGH!

It seemed as if all was lost for Dino, the Knights, and the rest of our heroes. But then-!
Suddenly-! The person in charge of writing SkullGreymon's dialog (and he isn't me) died from a
heart attack!

SkullGreymon Dialog Writer: Urk! [Drops dead.]

And thus, the mindless, boney beast, was no more.

Rocko: And there was much rejoicing.

Everyone: [dully] Yaaay.

Eddiemon: Oh no, this is terrible! Without SkullGreymon, ahm powerless to stop 'em!

Susan: Now it's your turn for an ass-whuppin, Monkey Boy! Behold the power of my Takeru's 02
hat!

Eddiemon: No, wait! Anything but that! Uh, please! Look over there! [Points, and everyone else
looks in the direction he points in.] Ha-hah, sucka's! [Races off in the opposite direction.]

Sir Takato of the KotST: He's getting away.

Sir Henry of the KotST: Do you think we should follow him?

Everyone: Nah.

Knight Captain Yamato: We, the Knights of the Table of the Geo-

Would you stop using the entire name already!? I wrote a shortened version for a reason,
you know!

Knight Captain Yamato: uh, I mean, the Knights of the Square Table, are eternally grateful to the
four of you! Not only did yo bring us food, but you saved us and the kingdom of Odaiba from the
Digimon advancement!

Sir Takato of the KotST: But mostly because you brought us food.

Knight Captain Yamato: Please, allow us the honor of knowing who we are speaking with, and
what your purpose for being here might be, so we may assist in any way possible.

Susan: Well, I'm Susa, the goggle boy is Dino, the helmet girl is Yukon, and the robot man is
Rocko. And the reason why we're here is because we're looking for someone they call: the
Myotismon.

Knights: [all gasp] T-THE MYOTISMON!?

Dun-da-DUNNNNNNNN!

Devimon VO: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. . . . .

DEVIMON!

Divimon VO: [Bolts upright.] DAH! SOUTH CAROLINA WAS THE FIRST STATE TO
SECEDE FROM THE UNION! [Blinks.] Huh? Oh. [Yawns.] Watch the next installment of Digi
Trigger or something. . . [falls back asleep.]