Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Digimon High ❯ The School's having a Social Intercourse... ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

In Matt's classroom...

Matt: So, Tai, had you picked Sora as a partner for today's compulsory social intercourse?

Tai: No. It's quite difficult...

Matt: You are welcome to use the line I use for my wife, Courtney...

Tai: And what's that?

Matt: I raise my left index finger, put it near her ear and whispered, "Don't make me stalk
you."

*

Digimon High: Episode 4: The School's having a Social Intercourse...

Staring:
Sora as the Ruthless and Ambitious "Vice" Principal cause Mr.Fujiyama's permanently on leave
Matt as the Carefree, Honest and Freely offered Teacher that is a Music/Computers Teacher
Tai as the Sports Teacher that really wants Sora, a lot
Cody as the Drama Teacher that seems to be diffrent and more weird and artistic
Kari as the Libarian that is sometimes a Teacher
Yolei as the Polotics Teacher needs a date
TK as the English/Literature Teacher that thinks he's cool
Joe as the Science/Math's teacher that's very disturbed
Izzy as the Mute Maintanence man that is always silent

And...

Michael as a police officer
Jun as "Michael"
Salior Mercury as Amy I'm not sure of her second name

By PikaFlash Tai

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew and any ideas in this fic belong to their
respective owners...this fic is inspired by the new Australian comedy, Sit down Shut up...

Summary: Sora orders an evening of compulsory social intercourse. Tai gets jealous of Yolei's
new boyfriend, Joe's trying to be as violent as Tai but ends up where the blue guys are and
Kari's Libary has a new assistant and some new sercurity features thanks to Matt's Brother,
MaTK Ishida...

*

At the Hallway stairs...

A Hawkmon drops a piece of paper near a trash can...

Joe: Ok, mister, pick that up and put it in the bin!!!! Please?

Tai walks in...

Tai: ALRIGHT!!! YOU PICK THAT UP AND PUT IT IN THE BIN BEFORE I MAKE YOU PICK THAT UP AND PUT
IT IN THE BIN!!!!

Hawkmon did as he was told...

Tai: AND TUCK YOUR SHIRT IN!!!! RIGHT DOWN TO THE SOCKS!!! AND IF I EVER CATCH YOU DOING THAT
AGAIN, I will crucify you!!!!

Hawkmon walks off...

In the staff room...

TK was sitting in the staff room eating chocolate bars...and Yolei enters...

Yolei: TK, you have been sitting there eating all day. Now, why aren't you teaching right now
instead of eating all day?

TK: The central locking system of my car messed up and I can't get my teacher materials
inside and I was locked out until lunchtime...

Yolei: Then why don't you teach after lunch?

TK: Well, after lunch, I couldn't be stuffed...anyway, Yolei, I got some chocolate from the
canteen...want a Chocolate Bogawoga?

Yolei: What? How can they sell such things? No wonder the mobile dentist said we've been
feeding students with big rich tasty paint strips. *walks out of the staff room*

In Kari's libary...

Sora: Hi, Kari. I come here in good tidings, we were able to afford a full-time libarian
assistant for you, Kari...

Kari: How could we afford it?

Sora: The Senator...

Kari: I thought she would promise education cutbacks...

Sora: Not Senator Mimi, I mean the Senator is a horse...Izzy betted it on a certain Mimi
Tachikawa...that's why we do not have a woodwork or metalwork area..

Kari: Wasn't that risky?

Matt was looking at the reffrence books...

Sora: Well, we had a lot that after the assistant, we have enough for buying new books...

Matt *turns around*: No, no, don't buy new books, now it's self-serve check-outs and
laser-sercurity systems...I have a brother, MaTK who makes self-serve check-outs and
laser-sercurity systems...

Sora: You're right, we sure do need to update the libary...

Kari: Sora, we need new books. The last Guinness book of records we have is from 1985...and I
can put that much golf balls in my mouth than that guy that time...

Sora: Matt, go ask your brother to put up the sercurity systems and how long have you been
wearing that shirt? A week?

Matt: No, 13 days. Well, last week the pits gave way...*Matt raises his arms as Sora fans the
smell away as Matt moves pass Sora in the cramp area of the libary...

In the staff room...

Sora: TK, I need you to go get the Mono Sound system...

TK: That's...f...antastic...can you believe that my mother concieved while listening to a
mono-sound system...

Yolei enters the staff room...

Yolei: Sora, can you believe what's the canteen selling to our overweight, unhealthy students?

Sora: I have nothing to do with that...the menu was made up by those sauce-stained women
working there.

Yolei: Well, the winds will change up their sauce-stained skirts. Izzy has a Vegetable garden
and it's cost effective...

Sora: Why didn't you say so?

Tai: By the way, Yolei, I need your help for the social...

Yolei: Oh, Sora, the social function requires us to bring a partner, right? I'm going to bring
my boyfriend, Michael...

Sora: That's right...*Sora leaves*

Tai: Who's this Michael? A girl? What does he work as? A girl?

Yolei: He's a police officer. He's coming here while off-duty...

Tai: Well, I also have a girlfriend...

Yolei: Oh, really? What's her name?

Tai: Errr...Michael. She's a...fire hydrand...assistant.

Yolei: Ok. I'm looking forward into meeting her...

As Yolei leaves, Tai runs to TK...

Tai: TK, I need your help. I need you to find me a girl...

TK: Find you a girl? Don't you have Michael?

Tai: No, well, I sorta broke up with her, so I need you to find me one...

TK: Sure, no problem...but you really should have stayed with Michael, Fire Hydrant assistants,
now thats hot...

Back at Kari's libary, Matt was finishing putting up the gates in a new shirt...and Sora
walks in as she sees the assistant working there...

Sora: So, how's the new assistant?

Kari: She's been working for like she doesn't need a break. She's working like from now till
night...

Matt gets up...

Matt: Ok, now, I have finished the gates...now, you jut record the bood with his bugger here,
*holding up the scanner* it will check-out the book, and if they don't, the student will get
an electric shock and cause the student to drop the book...or lost a digit. And by the way,
if the Assistant and gates get along, you can sack Kari as she is no use and you'll save lots
of money. By the way, look at my new shirt...it's a "Palmon"...*shows off the name "Palmon" on
his shirt*

As Matt and Sora walks through the gate, lasers surrounds them making a beep...

After Joe's class, Joe dismissed the students and saw Tai...

Joe: Tai, I need you to come here for a moment...

Tai: Sure, what is it?

In the class...

Joe: I need to know how you do shout?

Tai: Well, good teachers do not need to shout, you need to learn how to glare, because I have
a glare that can make students vomit...like this...

As Tai stares around the room and faces Joe, Joe looks like he wants to puke...

In Izzy's garden...

Yolei: Izzy, you'll be pleased to know that your vegetables will be the backbone of the new
canteen menu. What's your secret?

Izzy takes out a bottle of Pure Whiskey...

Yolei: Oh, I'll be back to help you pull out the veges...

Then as Yolei left, Izzy was spraying the garden, and then sprayed some whiskey in his
mouth...

In the Libary, Matt was holding a hammer, hammering the gates as the gates were sounding
weird...

Sora: What's happening with the gates...

Kari: Well, the gates are messed up as it messed up a lot of Digimon and their clothes fused
together with other Digimons...I want to get rid of these gates and I want them out now!

Matt: Don't worry, I must have set the lasers too high because these were used in the houses
of execution in the US. And I can't go to the power room or I'll dirty my new shirt. It's a
"Palmon"...

Matt walks off...

Kari: I want those gates out...

Sora: *changes her subject* Why, Kari, isn't it your birthday?

Kari: Yes, it is.

Sora: Sorry, I changed the subject...you're fired...*walks off*

Back in Izzy's garden...

Yolei were wearing gloves...

Yolei: I'll be helping you pull out the vegetables...

Then Izzy remembers how he grew those vegetables...first, he let a horse pull out the grass...

Then he planted each seed...

He grew them, groomed them, sprayed whiskey and then slep on the vegetable bed...

Then as Izzy comes back to reality, he grabs a rake and knocks Yolei's hands away...

Yolei: Huh? What's with you, Izzy?

Then Izzy scared Yolei away...

In Joe's classroom...

Palmon and Biyomon were whispering to each other and Palmon started to laughed...

Joe: Hey. *Then Joe starts to give an glare at Palmon*

Outside a building...

TK was in his car as a woman enters into the car...

TK: Ok, Jun. Here's an easy job for you tonight. All you have to do is to pretend your name is
"Michael" and this guy is your boyfriend...

TK takes out a picture of Tai that gave Jun a surprise...

TK gives a look at the picture...and also got the same look as Jun...

TK: Ok, don't get depress now. I may have something that would cheer you up. *Takes out a
cassette and puts it into the Mono Sound System*

Mono Sound System: "TK Takaishi speaking, how you're doing, no seriously, how ya doing?"

TK drives off in his car with Jun...

In the Staff room...with Kari in the background packing up her belongings...

Sora: Ok, so, today's Social intercourse's purpose is to tempoary bind us together. Who's
bringing a partner?

Yolei: Well, I'll be bringing Michael...

Tai: Yeah, me too. Sweet Michael...

Matt: My wife Courtney couldn't come, don't make a mistake. We have a wonderful relationship,
I just made a point not to be seen with her in public for a week.

Sora: Joe, I heard that you are not bring a partner, right?

Joe: Well, with my professional life in chaos, my social life is blossoming...I will be having
a partner in my arms this afternoon. We just entered an intense de facto relationship with
Amy I'm not sure of her second name.

Sora: Cody? There's word that you are bringing a partner for the social function?

Cody: Maybe...maybe not.

Matt: What's his name?

Both Tai and Matt snicker...

Yolei: Grow up, you too.

Cody: His name is Armadillomon, he is fit and I dare you to laugh at him...

Matt: I'm ok with all that sort of nonsense, ok? At least I will know someone will apreicate
my new shirt...It's a "Palmon".

Sora: Oh, that reminds me, today's Kari's birthday and her last day at this school, we whould
sing her happy birthday...

Kari was in the background packing up her things...and was waiting for it...

Sora: ...but we're pressed for time, so let's leave it there.

Outside the school as TK parks his car...

TK: Ok, here we are.

As TK tries to open the door...

TK: The central locking system is messing up again. And so are the power windows, dammit!
We'll just have to wait until someone lets us out. But I know how we can pass the time.

Then as TK gets closer to Jun, he takes out the cassette and puts it into the mono sound
system...

Mono Sound System: "TK Takaishi speaking, how you're doing, no seriously, how ya doing?"

TK and Jun danced to the "music"

Inside the staff room...

Joe was with a blue-haired girl...

And Matt and Tai entered the room...

Joe: Oh, guys, I would like you to meet my sexual partner, Amy.

Matt: Oh, hi.

Then Yolei entered the staff room...

Joe: Yolei, meet Amy...errr...where's Michael?

Yolei: He's back on duty. Where's your Michael, Tai?

Tai: She's late. Typical bloody fire hydrant assistant.

Sora entered the room...

Joe: Sora, meet Amy...

Sora: So you are the one who help Joe puts his social life back together. I got wind about
you. Thanks to you, we can close the book on his self-abuse and suicide attempts.

Cody enters the room...

Matt: So where's this, Armadillomon, Cody?

Tai: Has he chickened out?

Cody: I admit it, I was scared to show him my love...but now, I'm not afraid, to show you
predigist who's laughing. I want you to meet...Armadillmon...

Then as the others stared at the door...then they look at the floor, was an Armadillomon
walking towards Cody...

Cody picked Armidillomon up and carried him...

Cody: What? You want to go tutu? We better go outside...

As Cody left, 2 police officers entered the room...

Yolei: Michael?

Michael: Yolei...but I'm on duty. Is there anyone here named Joe Kido?

Joe: That would be me. Did you meet my sexual partner, Amy?

Michael: Is this the man?

Palmon nodded...

Michael: I'm afraid that you'll have to come to the station, Kido.

Joe: What?

Michael: Palmon here says that you have glared at her for most of the day in a sexually
suggestive and intimidating manner...

Joe: But there must be some mistake...she was naughty...

Michael: I would suggest you to keep it shut until we get to the station...

Joe: But, she had to be disciplined...Amy...that's not true...

Amy: Go away. Its over...

Matt: Well, they'll be back together again, I can sense it.

Michael: Excuae me sir, but where have you got that shirt? It looks familiar to the one that
was lost by Palmon yesterday. It was sewed by Palmon's mom and placed the name, Palmon on it,
like the one above your breast.

Matt: I got it from the city and it's expensive and exclusive...

Michael: And did you steal that from the lost property box?

Matt: Yes, I did.

Michael: Would you like to come to the station?

Matt: Yes, I would.

Yolei: So, would you be coming to my place for dinner tomorrow night, Michael?

Michael: This is one sick school and I can assume that you're one sick lady. *to Matt* TAKE
THAT SHIRT OFF!

Matt takes his shirt off...

Outside...

Cody let Armadillmon run around the field and as Armadillmon walk on Izzy's vegetable garden,
Izzy saw Armadillomon and released Kabuterimon and Kabuterimon chased Armadillomon away and
Cody runs up to Izzy...

Cody: Your bitch has run off with my partner, you bastard.

Then Cody pushes Izzy and both were in a fight as Cody threw some vegetables at Izzy and
Izzy poured whiskey onto Cody...

Back at the school...

Tai, Sora and Yolei were in the room...

Sora:

Tai: Well, we have just 2 beers between us, no Mono sound system and food, we might as well
play I freaking Spy...

Then the lights were suddenly turned off...

Kari opened the door...

Kari: Sora, quick, there has been a gastly accident in the libary.

Sora and Kari ran off...

Outside, as Michael was leading Matt and Joe to the police van, Michael saw Cody and
Izzy fighting...

Michael: Alright, what is going on? Fighting in crap and whiskey? That's it, you're
coming to the station!

In the libary...

The assistant was on the floor...

Kari: What's the problem?

Sora: She's fine and still breathing, her pulse is normal but she's gone. What's the problem?

Kari: Let's take a look at her medical records.

Sora *reads the records*: No wonder, she has a metal plate in her head and 2 pace makers. Once
those gates are up, she wouldn't get out of here alive. Those gates are killers. Get rid of
them...

Kari: Does that mean I can have my job back?

Sora: Now is not the right time...

Kari: Ok. *after a while* Will now be the right time?

Sora: Yes, you can have your job back.

A paramedic entered the libary to check on the assistant...

Outside at the police van...as the door opens, Matt and Joe were inside...

Matt/Joe: Hi.

Matt: Hi, Izzy, all covered in crap?

Then as Michael closes the door...he hears TK's mono sound system at his car...

Then Micheal and his partner went to the car and opens the door...

Michael: Well, it if isn't Jun Motomiya...being a working girl huh? Working all the way to
this school. I'll have to take both of you to the station...

As Jun was being led away by Michael, the partner tries to put TK's hand around his back

TK: You're trying to put my arm around my back? It's too difficult to do it...

Back at the staff room...

Tai and Yolei were sitting on chairs...

Tai: So, what do you think of Michael?

Yolei: I never know much about Michael...but Marriage did came to mind. So, what about your
Michael?

Tai: Ok, I made her up...

Yolei: I knew I had a hunch that you made her up, and that became stronger when TK was sent
to get a woman.

Tai: Yeah, I don't know why I did it.

Yolei: Don't worry, I won't tell. Say, I normally don't drink, but do you want one to wash
away all those damn Michaels?

Tai: Sure.

Yolei tries to open a bottle of beer...

Tai: Let me help.

Tai opens the bottle and drank a bit...but stops...

Tai: Oops, let me wipe it...

Yolei: There's no need to.

Then as Yolei took a sip...

Yolei: On second thought, I would like to wipe it...

Back to the police van, TK and Jun were placed in the cramp space in the Police van...

Matt: *to Jun* Oh, hi, you must be Michael.

Then as Michael(The police oficer) closes the door...he saw the assistant being wheeled away
to an ambulance and Kari and Sora were carrying the laser gates...

Michael: Let's get the hell out of here!!!

Then as Michael drives the van away from the school...

Matt: Does anyone want to play Digimon-Monopoly? Oh, we don't have a board. Wait, here's one.

Then Armadillomon saw the Van leaving and started to follow it...

Back in the Libary, Kari filled her mouth with 2 golf balls and reading the World Guiness Book
of Records 2000...as Kari places the third golf ball in her mouth, she looked like she
cheered...