Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Diminished Light: Void's Assault ❯ Between Trust and Fear ( Chapter 3 )

Diminished Light: Void's Assault

Chapter 3

Between Trust and Fear

By

Sailor Janus

 

 

A gentle breeze pushed a young Hikari as she sat on a swing watching her older brother play soccer. She giggled when he tripped and stumbled to the grass. He lifted his head and stuck his tongue out at her playfully. She replied by doing the same then they laughed joyfully together.

 

Suddenly the sky darkened as the wind picked up. Taichi narrowed his brown eyes in both fear and confusion. Hikari gasped and blew her whistle, calling for her brother as the same feeling of foreboding filled the child.

 

“Hikari!” The young boy ran towards her, but the ground began to shake and suddenly she was no longer on the swing but instead was falling.

 

The next thing she knew she was walking through thick snow and seemed to be a few years older. The wind once again was strong and she fought against it to keep herself upright. The malicious blizzard threatened to knock her over despite her resistance. The girl knew she had to continue onward, or she may not be able to see tomorrow.

 

However as she took one more step, she sunk down into the thick snow and found herself plunged into frigid ice water. Hikari tried to scream, but choked on the water instead. She reached urgently for anything to grab a hold of, but only found more ice and snow as she sunk deeper into the water.

 

 

 

Hikari slowly opened her eyes and blinked. She was no longer in arctic waters but in a warm bed as a beam of sunlight lazily drifted closer to the wall behind her. She groaned lightly and rubbed her eyes. Confusion washed over her as she glanced around the unfamiliar room. The walls had a pale yellowish tinge. Sand colored drapes trimmed in light green partially covered the windows where a small table and two chairs were stationed. A television was along the wall adjacent to the door, and crumpled in front of it was a beige blanket, and a starchy white pillow. Her head throbbed lightly, but she ignored it as she sat up and nearly screamed as her eyes fell upon the strange man opening a brown paper bag at a table on the far side of the room.

 

The man turned and grinned at her. He paused and scratched the back of his head as if he were nervous about something then cleared his throat as he lifted a paper cup. “Um, would you like something for breakfast? You were still asleep and there's this great little American style café just across the street so I got some donuts and coffee. I hope you still like them.”

 

The young woman's jaw dropped as she stared at him blankly. After a moment she regained her composure and pushed a handful of hair from her face. “I-I'm not hungry. Thank you.”

 

Daisuke sighed and refocused his gaze on the floor. “Somehow I had a feeling you'd say that.” He mumbled something under his breath as shadows appeared briefly in his darkening eyes. He closed them then glanced back at Hikari again. “You need to eat something. Or you'll get sick.”

 

Hikari looked away and instead studied the drab, pale blue sea in one of the paintings on the wall. “I don't care,” she murmured, tightening her grip on the colorful bedding. Her throat was sore, her limbs stiff, and her stomach grumbled like a savage animal, but none of that mattered. She'd sooner fade from existence than remain in a world that only seemed to intend on hurting her.

 

“But I do.” The Chosen Children leader paused for a moment before he continued. “And so does your brother Taichi, and your parents, and your other friends. We all care, Hikari.”

 

Hot tears flooded her eyes as she gritted her teeth. “Stop talking to me like you know me. You don't know me at all. So please, just leave me be.”

 

“Hikari-”

 

“SHUT UP!” The infuriated young woman tried to rise from the bed, but was overcome by a dizzy spell. She narrowed her eyes as Daisuke tried to approach her and slid out of the bed from the opposite side, leaving the bed as a barrier between them. “Shut up. Shut up. SHUT. UP!” More than anything Hikari wanted something to throw at the man that seemed to have turned her world upside down, but nothing was within her grasp. Instead she leaned her hands against the bed and glared daggers at him.

 

“Hikari…I don't know what has happened to you, but damn it, listen to me. I was one of your friends in Odaiba before your family moved during our last year of high school. I have helped you countless times and we trusted each other. Please understand when I say that I would never EVER hurt you.”

 

“Stop it.” Hikari covered her face with one of her hands as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I don't need help. I'm fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. FINE!” She lost her balance and collapsed onto the floor on her butt.

 

Daisuke tried to take a step towards her, but she yelled at him to stop. Instead he helplessly watched her curl up into a tight ball and sob. He cursed to the ceiling and sank down in a chair, pulling his knees to his chest and buried his face in them. All he could hear were Hikari's heart-wrenching sobs. In an after thought however the soccer star lifted his head and pulled out a small white bag from the larger brown one. He stood up and walked over to Hikari's crying form and placed the bag next to her then returned to the table for breakfast.

 

It only took a few minutes before Hikari's curiosity had gotten the better of her. She lifted her head to look at the white bag with her name and a starburst like symbol in pink scribbled on it. She frowned at it for a moment wondering what the strange guy was trying to give her as she wiped her tear-streaked face. If it's food, I'm going to throwing it at him. She hesitated then opened the bag and peered down inside it. A gasp escaped her throat and she reached inside pulling out a stuffed animal of a white cat with large friendly looking blue eyes. The snowy fur was soft to the touch. Hikari brushed her fingers against it as more tears slid down her warm cheeks. The cat was barely two handfuls but it was adorable nonetheless.

 

“I thought it might cheer you up and give you a bit of comfort.”

 

Hikari turned to look at Daisuke who continued to watch her. She bit her lip and gave him a small smile. “You didn't have to.”

 

“I wanted to. If you don't want it, then I'll just give it to a children's shelter. The choice is yours as is some of this food,” he replied, gesturing to the steaming cup of coffee and assorted pastries. “I didn't know what to get you so I got some of everything.”

 

The young woman turned her attention back to the white cat. For some reason, she couldn't help but smile at it. He seems nice… but so did Nitoni…although, Nitoni hated cats. A chill ran down her spine as she thought of her ex. She quickly dropped the stuffed animal and backed away to the far wall.

 

Daisuke noticed the immediate change and turned towards her. “I really do want to help you, Hikari. I'll take you anywhere you want to go. Home, your parents. I'll even try to take you to where your brother is or get you a cab and pay for the fare. Just listen when I say I won't harm you. I could never hurt you.”

 

Hikari's eyes flickered and hardened at the one who said he could never harm her. “You could never hurt me? Why is it that is the one phrase that always breaks first? `I could never hurt you. You can trust me. I'll always love you.' Lies, nothing but lies.” She paused a moment feeling partially better to use someone for a verbal pincushion. “If everyone cares so much, then where were they when I needed help the most? Everyone is so absorbed in their own lives that they don't even realize what is going on around them. They don't see the scars, the death, the disease, the hate, the pain, nothing. I'm just an insignificant nothing.”

 

“We've tried to find you, Hikari. All of us, but you just disappeared! Even Taichi and your parents didn't know where to find you. It was like you dropped off the face of the Earth or something.”

 

“I've been right here in misery!”

 

“You never responded to our emails or letters or anything! Damn it. Listen to me. Something happened to your memories. Aren't those pictures I showed you enough?”

 

“They're lies!”

 

Daisuke slammed his fist on the table, startling the upset young woman. “Fine, we'll do it this way. Your favorite color was pink. I don't know what it is now. Your brother's favorite sport was and still is soccer. Your parents last I heard are still together and you and Taichi are their only two kids. Your favorite animal is a cat. You used to wear a whistle around your neck to communicate when you were little. When you got older, you took up photography and brought your digital camera everywhere you went. You did well in school. In fact you helped me with my grades. You also had a cat named Miko. You used to share a room with your brother and slept on bunk beds. You had the bottom bunk. You nearly died from pneumonia when you were five.” He took a breath mid-ramble before continuing on. “Am I getting any closer to proving that I know you? You used to get sick often. In fact, you wouldn't tell Taichi that you felt ill just so he could be happy doing whatever it was he was doing. You often worried about disappointing him. When you had nearly died, your were afraid he was angry with you for getting him in trouble.”

 

Hikari gaped at the aggravated soccer player. Her eyes widened as she replayed several facts he spoke of over in her head. How could he know? How could he possibly know? It doesn't makes any sense… She sat in silence for a moment unsure of whether to believe him or not. However, one thing was troubling her. The fact that he knew exactly how she felt about her brother and her fear of his disapproval were not something that she had shared with just anyone, in fact she couldn't remember confiding that secret to anyone at all. She didn't like making a big deal out of things, especially if they concerned her. As long as everyone was happy, she would be happy. At least that's the way things used to be. Now she wasn't so sure.

 

“You told me about your fears concerning your brother when we were sixteen before he went away to college,” Daisuke gently explained. “It was during the going away party.”

 

“I…I don't remember.” Hikari dropped her gaze down to the stuffed cat. She wanted to pick it up and hug it tightly in her arms as her tears saturated the pristine white fur as if it could comfort her, but resisted. Her eyes glistened as fresh tears formed. “What is wrong with me? I can't remember anything outside of my last year of high school.” She hid her face in her hands and gritted her teeth. Why was she the one that had to have their memories pretty much erased? What if he is telling the truth? Then what do I do? I can't go back home. I no longer have a home. Why am I being punished so?

 

“I meant what I said earlier about wanting to help you. Hell, if it weren't for you, I'd probably still be in Odaiba working at some convenience store bagging cans of cat and dog food for little, old, senile ladies who keep calling me ma'am and try to fix me up with their neighbor's pet goat. Instead I'm in college on a soccer scholarship and I owe it all to you.” He gave her a grateful smile and ran a hand through his spiky hair. “You tutored me and helped me study when anyone that usually tried, gave up. But you insisted that I had the brainpower to do the work. `If you can save two worlds then algebra shouldn't be such a sweat,' I believe were your words.”

 

Hikari looked at Daisuke and as she studied his face, his friendly yet intense brown eyes and the playful smirk on his lips, she discovered that perhaps he was telling the truth. After all, if he wanted to hurt her, he would have already done so instead of bringing her food, tending to her wounds, and giving her gifts. A serial killer wouldn't go to such extreme measures. At least, she didn't think one would. Before she was able to say a single word, a high-pitched chime sounded in the room.

 

Daisuke smacked his forehead and rose from his chair, tripping over a pillow as he approached his laptop. “Sorry, I didn't realize that I had it turned up so loud,” he said sheepishly. He peered down at the screen and a grin immediately lit up his face. “Ken! He actually responded. This is great.”

 

“Who's Ken?”

 

“Huh?” The Chosen of Miracles looked at the young woman with a dumbfounded expression before he recalled in his moment of happiness, that she still didn't remember them despite knowing her memories were gone. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. “He's a friend; one of yours too in fact. He used to be my best friend until he moved to Kyoto when we were fourteen. Well, he's still my best friend, just in long distance terms. Lately he's been with Miyako. They got together in college.”

 

“Miyako? Is she another one of uh, our friends?”

 

“Yeah, she liked you more than me, but we all usually stuck together through thick and thin.” Daisuke opened the email and read it in silence.

 

 

Daisuke,

 

 

I don't really know what to tell you concerning Hikari's condition. I haven't heard of a Chosen Child losing their memories of being a Chosen. It's rather peculiar considering no one else has lost their memories. Maybe we should try contacting Gennai. He may have an idea as to what is going on. In the meantime, it may be best to not let Hikari out of your sight since someone may have tried to kill her. The marks on her neck you mentioned may have been from an attempt to strangle her.

 

Miyako also agrees that you should stick with her. She threatens to `kick your ass to the moon' as she so delicately says, if you let anyone else hurt Hikari. From the tone of her voice, she is dead serious.

 

I'll try contacting Iori and Takeru to see if they have any idea on what may have happened to Hikari. Please keep us updated and if anything else, we can always arrange a date to meet up. Perhaps a visit to the Digital World will fix this. I don't know.

 

Good Luck,

 

Ken

 

 

“Great. Ken has no clue either and Miyako is threatening to use me to make a field goal into outer space if anyone else hurts you,” Daisuke grumbled as he closed out the email.

 

Hikari blinked. “She'd beat you up? But why?”

 

“Like I said, she likes you better.” He paused a moment and spun around as if realization had just hit him head on. “Do you want to see who I am talking about?”

 

“I guess,” the young woman hesitated before she stood up and walked over to Daisuke as he fished his wallet out of his back pocket.

 

He flipped it open and pointed to the lavender haired girl and the dark haired boy with shoulder length hair pulled back in a ponytail. They appeared to be in their teens and were dressed in formal wear along with everyone else in the picture. “This is Inoe Miyako and her boyfriend, Ichijouchi Ken. They've been together for about three years. I was kind of surprised he fell for her, but then again she's pretty intellectual too…. not that that's the most important thing or anything.”

 

Hikari looked at the couple in the picture and then drifted her gaze to the others dressed in formal wear. She noted she was also in the picture wearing in a sapphire blue dress and she was standing next to a boy that looked like Daisuke and a blonde haired one who resembled an older version of the boy who wore a fisherman's hat. Her brother was there as well as some other people she couldn't recognize. Everyone looked happy and a bit uncomfortable in his or her stiff formal clothes. The young woman bit her lip then dropped to the floor with a sigh. “Why can't I remember anything? I'm in these pictures but I can't remember anything about them. What I felt. What I was doing before the picture was taken or after or even the people I was standing with or talking to or anything!”

 

Daisuke kneeled down on the floor in front of her. “You'll remember again. We just need to figure out how. Did you bump your head in the last few years or fall down a flight of stairs, or were abducted by any strange green creatures?”

 

“No, I just don't remember anything.”

 

“We'll look for answers. There has to be a way to bring your memories back and we'll find it no matter what it takes. You can count on it.”

 

Hikari wiped her eyes and gave him a tiny nod though she was still unsure what to really believe. In the meantime, she'd just have to go with the flow and maybe she would get out of the whole situation alive. “I still don't really trust you, but I can't go back.” She shivered and clenched one of her hands into a sturdy fist.

 

Daisuke nodded back in acceptance. “Food?” He gave her a mischievous yet friendly grin.

 

“I'm not-” she began to protest but her stomach's grumble stopped her mid-sentence. The young woman pressed a hand to her forehead and sighed.

 

“You're not hungry? I think your stomach says otherwise.”

 

“You don't understand. I don't want to be a charity case.”

 

“And you don't understand. I only want to be your friend.” The soccer player looked at her in concern. “Just how long have you gone without eating anyway?”

 

Hikari's jaw dropped and she folded her arms over her chest. “That is none of your business!”

 

Daisuke nodded in understanding. His brown eyes softened and he stilled for a moment. “So, you really haven't been eating…”

 

“You tricked me!”

 

“Last time I saw you, you didn't have an eating disorder, Hikari.”

 

“Well, maybe I didn't feel I was better off dead back then!” Hikari froze, realizing just what she had blurted out. One glance at the man who seemed to want to help her said it all. His face was stark white and his eyes wide and dark, lost in complete horror. The young woman cringed and immediately covered her face. “I didn't mean to say that.”

 

The leader of the Chosen took a moment to recover before he chose to respond. “So, I guess those scratches on your arms were your doing too, huh.” He choked on his words as he tried to continue to speak. “Did you try to hang yourself too? Maybe you weren't attacked after all and you stabbed yourself with a letter opener. Damn it, Hikari! Just what the hell happened to you?”

 

The young woman's hand automatically flew and crackled like a whip against Daisuke's cheek. She glared hotly at him as he gazed back at her, his emotions masked by the shadows in his eyes. “I didn't try to stab myself, you asshole. Or hang myself. My currently ex-boyfriend tried to kill me.” Hikari pulled her knees to her chest as a barrier of protection. Too many words had been said and like a broken dam, every secret she had been hiding was flowing out at a rapid pace, threatening to take her under as well. “I don't know how everything happened, but it all went horribly wrong.”

 

Daisuke stared at her, ignoring his stinging face, and clenched his hands into fists. “What happened?”

 

“I don't want to talk about it. Just leave me alone.”

 

He released a breath and stood up. “You should try to eat something. Since you said this great guy tried to destroy you, allowing him to continue to do so by not eating and wallowing in misery only lets him win. I doubt that's what you want at this point.”

 

Hikari remained in her position, refusing to budge as more salty tears saturated her jeans. She only lifted her head slightly when Daisuke put the stuffed cat, a cup of coffee, and a small bag of what she imaged to contain donuts next to her.

 

“They're right there if you change your mind,” he softly said then returned to his laptop. Another chime alerted him of a new email. He scowled slightly contemplating who could be contacting him at a time like this, but if they had the much needed answers to his dilemma, more the better.

 

He plopped down on the floor, sat the slim black computer on his lap, and quickly opened the email. This time it was from Takeru. “Hmm, Ken works fast,” the Bearer of Miracles mumbled as he read the letter.

 

 

Daisuke,

 

 

I just received Ken's message on Hikari and I hope you two are all right. I'd have to agree with Ken on someone trying to murder her. She may not be in the best mindset because of whatever happened. Another possibility of her missing memories could be Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. At least I think that's what it's called. When a person is involved in or even witnesses a horrific event, the brain can shut down because it's too much for it to handle. The same can cause amnesia. However, I am confused on why she would only forget being a Chosen Child and everything to do with that and the Digital World. We're missing something and not just Hikari's memories as you're probably muttering at the moment.

 

I think the best thing we can do is support her the best we can, though I'm not sure if everyone seeing her at once will be as beneficial as we may think. It may do more harm than good since she would probably feel very overwhelmed. Same thing goes with taking her to the Digital World, though that may be a likely place to find answers.

 

Please keep me informed promptly on her condition and try to be as best a friend to her as possible. I'd tell you to say hi for me, but she would probably feel even more confused and I don't want that.

 

Take care,

Your friend,

Takeru

 

 

“Well, that really helped,” Daisuke grumbled. He knew Takeru meant well, but despite his longer email, it did nothing to alleviate his worry over Hikari. He had a feeling that no matter how many people emailed him, no one would have a direct answer concerning the Chosen of Light's missing memories.

 

As he closed out the email however, he glanced back in the brunette's direction and finally smiled. She was nibbling delicately on a piece of cake donut, tearing off a bit at a time. The plush cat was leaned against her leg and she was staring at the floor, but she was eating nonetheless. That alone was something to celebrate.

 

Instead however, Daisuke let her be. When she wanted to talk, he would be there to listen but given the experience of his youth, pressing her for her attention was by far not the best way to achieve it. His only choice was to be as patient as possible and though that was not an easy feat, it would have to be achieved. With that in mind, he returned to the table for the rest of his breakfast.

 

 

*~*~*~*

 

Why am I eating this? Why should I care if Nitoni wins or not? Hikari furrowed her brow as she tore off another tiny piece of donut and hesitated a moment before she slid the sweet doughy substance in her mouth. It felt good to be able to taste something other than her bland and slightly metallic saliva. She knew she should relish the experience, especially since it wasn't prepared by her ex, but the act of actually eating; putting food in mouth, chew, and swallow was almost like torture. Yet, oddly enough, she still forced herself through the task. Tear. Pop. Chew. Chew. Chew. Chew. Chew. Chew. Swallow. Repeat. It was such a dull monotonous act, nothing but repetition and more repetition. At least he's finally shut up.

 

She shot a lightening sharp glance at the strange man with his back to her as he sipped on his coffee, seemingly lost in a thought as he sat at the small table. Hikari looked down at her hands as she contemplated why he was so determined to help her. His brown eyes were friendly. Never once since she had met him did they seem anything but…. except when he became outraged over the truth of her injuries….and when he found out that she wanted to die and refused to eat, but even then….even when she had slapped him, he didn't waver. He still insisted on aiding her.

 

Suddenly, she felt very tired and just wanted to curl back into bed and sleep forever like Sleeping Beauty. Only Prince Charming would not be there to wake her. Prince Charming was a lie and had tried to kill her. No worse, he abandoned her, isolated her, and pretty much tried to strip her of her independence with his insisting on knowing her whereabouts and forcing her to use all of her money on bills. I've already been destroyed. All that's left is a physical shell.

 

Hikari silently rose to her feet and retreated to the bathroom. She didn't know why she was wanted to go into the small room, but at least the guy couldn't follow her inside. She flipped on the light and closed the door behind her, completely neglecting to lock it. Instead she looked in the mirror and faced a woman that resembled a corpse staring back at her. Her warm brown eyes, which once sparkled with life, were now dull and hollow. It was as if the spirit in her body had been sucked out. Her hair hung around her face and flowed down her back, stringy and flat. Her skin was pale and chalky with dark circles clinging under her eyes. The faded black shirt looked odd with one sleeve missing, instead replaced by thick gauze and medical tape. She looked too thin as if her skin were molded to her bones. The scratches and cuts on her arms, painful reminders of her personal torment and her daring escape, seemed to be healing nicely to her surprise.

 

She looked down at her broken fingernails and realized for the first time that her palms had been bandaged. Further inspection of herself revealed soiled, faded jeans. Her shoes and socks were missing. The guy…. whatever his name was, probably took them off before putting her in the bed. “What happened to me?” Her voice cracked as she stared at her reflection and leaned over the sink, pressing one hand against the cool surface. Had she ever been this miserable before? She couldn't remember and that actuality hurt more than anything. She balled her fist and hit the glass, but not hard enough to break it.

 

What am I going to do? Do I really want to die? Do I really want to be helped or should I just go back to Nitoni and accept my fate? I'm so confused and scared and alone! Hikari sank to her knees on the tiled floor and burst into a fit of heart-wrenching sobs. She clutched her sides as she let everything out, wishing to drown in her tears at the moment. The brunette snorted slightly, pondering if she had cried enough to fill a bathtub yet. She leaned her head back against the wall as she cried herself to the point of nearly passing out.

 

Behind her she heard a slight squeak of the door opening but no one entered. Instead a soft object landed on the floor next to her. The stuffed cat. She looked at it for a moment and brushed her tears away. That guy must have put it in here, but… why? Why does he insist on helping me? Am I really worth that much? Am I really worth saving?

 

She waited for a moment to see if he was going to try to come in as she studied the white ball of fluff, but he never did and this puzzled her. She picked up the cat and wiped her face then studied the plush toy. Had Nitoni ever been like this? When she was ill he'd suggest that she take a bath or drink some vile tasting tea concoction or would tell her to go to bed. And when she was upset…. he'd get aggravated and tell her she was making a big deal out of things. He did comfort her sometimes…. but in the past six months... he showed no compassion whatsoever. Often she'd cry herself to sleep, her tears left unnoticed. The only time he hugged her was when he was feeling down.

 

She was always alone. Nitoni was too busy with his computer friends. She narrowed her eyes with the reflection of his so called hidden secrets. She shoved those thoughts away and reflected on her college friends…. well, they weren't really friends; just acquaintances that she never actually hung out with outside of class. And work…. was just as bad if not worse. She was simply `Little Miss Goody Two-Shoes,' so they never invited her to go to a club or the movies or anywhere. Had she really ever had any friends or was it all just a bunch of lies?

 

Her head hurt and her chest felt worse. All this stress and mental anguish couldn't be any good for her. The number one thing that still confused her was the fact that the children she saw flashes of in her head were the same children the guy had in his pictures. Can I really trust him? I don't know what to do anymore. I just want out. I want to be somewhere that is not here and be happy and with friends and happy. Just for once, happy.

 

A brief flash of the six children along with her brother and some other teenagers at an amusement park flashed in her mind. They were posing for a picture taken by a boy with messy blonde hair. Her brother was standing on the edge of the fountain with a cocky grin on his face standing next to a blonde haired guy that looked to be his age. They were doing some kind of macho pose as a red haired girl next to them put bunny ears on the blonde. A younger, bubbly, pink haired girl, a red haired boy, and an older boy with bluish hair and glasses smiled as they knelt in front of the trio. Next to them were the younger brown haired boy, and the boy with chin length indigo colored hair, also smiling. The girl with glasses was leaning over him and grinned giving the victory sign as he blushed slightly. Behind them stood the brown haired girl, between the blonde with the fisherman's hat and the boy wearing a pair of goggles, both of which were standing on the edge of the fountain and giving each other bunny ears.

 

Amusingly enough, just as the boy was about to take the picture, the group standing on the edge of the fountain got hit by a huge gust of wind and because the stone was wet and slippery, lost their footing and fell into the fountain.

 

 

Hikari blinked and groaned as her head began to pulse. It was such a strange thing to have popped in her head, yet if it was a memory, then it was a good thing. She bit her lip in thought over the other teenagers she saw in her vision. They looked oddly familiar, as if she had seen them somewhere recently…. but where?

 

An audible gasp escaped her raw throat as her eyes flew open and a sudden surge flooded her veins. She immediately scrambled to her feet and bolted out of the bathroom. She couldn't be certain unless she had the evidence right in front of her face.

 

*~*~*~*

Author's Notes: We will be reunited with a few other characters in the next chapter. Of course things are not always as they seem. And remember, Hikari is not being spiteful anything, she is just very confused and fearful.