Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Disbelief... ❯ December 10th ( Chapter 1 )

This is a true story, altered to fit into Digimon. This is actually happening to me and my family, but I will not disclose any information that might violate privacy to all that are involved. I will say that writing this fic has helped with what I'm feeling, but it won't heal the pain that I'm going through. Just to let you know, this fic is dealing with the subject of suicide, so I'm probably going to play it safe and put the rating at PG-13.

Disclaimer: I do not own digimon, but anything that happens in this fic is real.

I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do

There are so many thoughts in my head.

There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose

So I'm thinking over.....

-Dana Glover "Thinking Over"

Disbelief…

December 10

Disbelief.

That was the first emotion that ripped through Yamato Ishida's heart as he stared at Hikari and Daisuke. Both of them tried to look brave, because the truth was they didn't want to scare Matt more than necessary. However, Matt knew better than that. He could see the fear and pain in their eyes, could hear their strained voices as they talked frantically to his mother. Her expression had changed from shock to disbelief to anxiety, all in a matter of seconds. She was at the moment sitting on the couch, shaking and crying. That was the hard part, watching his mother cry for what seemed like an eternity. Matt turned toward the two younger teens and frowned. "I hope that this is a bad joke," he said quietly. "Where did he say he was going?"

"To the park," Daisuke said, fear evident in his voice. "He just got up out of class and ran. That's when Kari checked her email and ran after him."

Matt made a grab for his coat when a hand touched him. "Matt, stay here. Let me find him." Nancy's voice seemed strained.

"I'm going with you," Matt argued, hoping that there was something he could do besides sitting on his hands.

"Yamato," Nancy said quietly. Matt never liked it when she used his first name like that. "He could come home and I might miss him. Besides, you need to call the police. This might not end up to be very pretty." She looked at him. "I'll go call your father and see if he can't help me look."

Matt sighed heavily and nodded. He watched as his mother snatched her coat off the hook and rush out the door. He turned around and saw Kari sitting on the couch, hugging a pillow and Daisuke pace around the room with his hands in his pocket. Matt walked over to the phone and dialed 911.

To him, this was one of the worst days of his life. The day had started normally. He had woken up late and had gone over to his mom's house. He was out of school now, and he was just visiting her. They were in the middle of lunch when they heard frantic pounding on the door. Puzzled, Matt had gone to the door and opened it. That's when the normal day ended and the nightmare began. Kari and Daisuke were at the door, and when Matt had asked them what was the matter, Kari had burst into tears and Daisuke had told him the worst news that Matt could ever receive. Takeru, his little brother, was about to commit suicide. He had left them an email message telling them and explaining why he was going to, and telling them that it wasn't their fault.

"He couldn't do that. I mean, TK really had no problems that I saw and he never talked to me about it." Matt was muttering under his breath. He looked over and heard a sob from Kari, as Daisuke punched his fist into his hand.

The waiting seemed to take forever, and just as Matt was about to go out himself, his dad came in. Masaru looked haggard and worn, and Matt could tell from his eyes that he was frustrated. "Matt," he said, looking at his eldest son, "TK had a gun. He was going to shoot himself with it when me and your mother got there." His voice was shaking, but he cleared his throat and continued. "I grabbed it and it went off, but the gun jammed. The police are with TK and Nancy now, getting a statement." He sighed. "He might have to go through counseling and stuff, but he's alright."

Matt just stood there, stunned. Kari was still crying on the couch, but at least Daisuke had stopped pacing. "Will he have to go to the hospital?" Daisuke asked, worry evident in his voice.

Masaru nodded. "The police want to take him to a crisis clinic down the road, but me and your mother have to go with them. He might have to go on anti-depressants for a while, and he won't be able to go to work anytime soon."

Matt nodded. TK had worked at a café at the mall, and he had another job down there at a clothing store. Matt couldn't imagine having two jobs and going to school at the same time, much less having all the extra curricular activities that his little brother was in. He was in basketball, in the honor society at school, and he was also in several clubs. "How long is he going to be there?" He asked, looking his father directly in the eye.

"Probably overnight, but that depends on what the psychiatrist at the clinic says." Masaru sounded tired.

"Do you think TK would be mad at us if we came along, Mr. Ishida?" Kari asked, her voice sounding small.

"I don't think you should. They would probably want the parents to come."

"I'm going too." Matt glared at anyone who would try to dispute otherwise.

"Yamato…" Now his dad was using his first name.

"I don't care what you say, dad. I'm going too. TK might need me." Matt reasoned.

Masaru just sighed and nodded. "Alright, but you'll have to lock up your mother's house. She's already in the car."

***

The trip to the clinic seemed to be longer than Matt had originally thought. Kari and Daisuke had gone home, but made Matt swear to tell them if anything happened. He looked out the window and winced as bright sunlight struck his face. How can the weather be so nice when someone almost lost their life? He glanced out the window and saw children playing. Probably they're out for recess. They don't have a care in the world. Why would they? Most of them have never even experienced depression. Why did they have to be so lucky when he wanted those rose-tinted glasses that made everything cheerful?

When they arrived at the clinic, the car that had taken TK was already parked. Matt looked at the building. It was short and sprawling, and was made out of brick. He could see people sitting around inside the double doors; most probably waiting for loved ones. He sighed. TK hated hospitals. How was he ever going to get better when he happened to be in a place he despised?

As they walked inside, a nurse spotted them. "Mr. and Mrs. Takaishi? We need you to come back and talk to the doctor. He'll be in room one with your son." Matt was about to enter too when the nurse stopped him. "I'm sorry, but the doctor doesn't think you should be in there."

Matt glared at her and then sat back down. There was a TV, but it was showing some type of soap that he didn't know. Then the realization hit. He was in a clinic, where his brother was being held, and he couldn't even see him. He was his big brother, and he couldn't do anything to stop him or help. He looked over to the window that led into the nurse's station, where he could see his father and mother speaking to a doctor, the doctor that would probably see more of his brother than he will. He started to shake uncontrollably. This had to be a bad dream, he thought. His brother's probably at home, just fine and without any type of mental disorder. Then a dark thought entered his mind. You couldn't stop it, the thought sneered.

Matt was still in shock when his father came out. Masaru sat down next to him and glanced over. "Matt?" he asked. When he didn't get a response, he asked, "Matt, are you ok?"

When he didn't get a response from that question, he reached out and put an arm around his son. "Look, TK is going all the help he can get. He'll get through this and become a stronger person because of it. We're all suffering right now, but you don't have to clam up like a shell."

Matt didn't realize he had tears running down his cheeks until he felt his father touch his cheek. "I couldn't help him. Daisuke and Kari said that he had been acting strange for the last couple of weeks. Why didn't I realize it?" Then Matt laughed hollowly. "Oh, right. Because he was so busy with other things. I never even got to see him much. He was always at one place or another, and I didn't even see the warning signs."

Masaru hugged him, then thought of something. "Hey, do you want me to take you home? There're still a few things that your mother and I need to finish up, and right now, they don't want anyone in to see him." Matt nodded quietly into his shoulder. "I'll go tell Nancy then."

Matt watched his father walk into the office again and speak to his mother. She nodded, and Masaru came back out. He held out his hand for Matt and Matt was grateful for the relief. He stood slowly, wobbling just a tiny bit as they walked toward the car. Matt looked up and was glad to see that clouds now obscured the sky. Matt thought that the sky was now fitting his mood.

To Be Continued…

Like I said in the above statement, this is a true story. If anyone wants to flame me because of it, then you can go fuck yourselves, because I am totally not in the mood for it right now…

~Charbonne