Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Don't Say A Word (It's Too Late For 'I'm Sorry') ❯ One-Shot

Disclaimer: I do not own Dejimon or an of the characters in this fic.

Don't Say a Word (It's Too Late for "I'm Sorry")

Juri bit her lip and stared down at her hands. Takato looked away in utter shame, too nervous to risk looking into the brown-haired girl's amber eyes. Finally he looked up and spoke. "Juri, I-"

"Don't say a word, Matsuda Takato," Juri snapped. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. Her golden eyes were filled with pain and anger. She could not begin to express the grief she was feeling. "You have lied to me, abused me, and cheated on me. When we began to go steady, Takato, you promised me that you would never do anything to hurt me."

"But Juri-"

"I won't have you speak until you hear me out! You told me that you would never dream of cheating on me. You promised, Takato. And coming from you, that promise meant a lot to me. In all the years that I have known you, you have been mature, responsible, and dependable. We counted on you, looked to you for leadership. Even Ruki and Ryou had you in their hearts. Even they treasured your friendship. I think you were the one person that kept us all together, Takato.

"You saved me from D-Reaper because you cared for me. That's what you told me. And I believed you. I truly did, with all my heart and soul. I trusted you, Takato. I told myself I would never be so naïve that I would trust again, but you tore down the walls I'd put up. I don't need to fear having my trust broken around you. I haven't until now.

"Do you remember that walk we took in the park after the Dejimon went back to their own world, Takato? You took me by the hand and led me away from the others, and announced that you wanted to go steady with me. I was so happy. My heart was so filled with joy. You can't imagine the relief I felt. I was happy with you Takato. Remember what you said? `Juri, I swear to the gods that I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. I will not hurt you, ever, I promise.' You said that to my face, Matsuda Takato.

"How stupid could I have been to believe you? When I found out that you were cheating on me for Ruki . . .when I found out that you were lying to us both, I was heartbroken. Why did you do it, Takato? You swore you would never do it. But the day of our third anniversary, I was walking through the park. Our first two anniversaries we met in the park for lunch. I thought this one would be no different. But I found you with Ruki, sitting and laughing with her, and leaning over to kiss her . . .

"From that day on, I could never be anything more than a good friend to you, Takato. Do you have any idea how sad I was? But I hid it. I said simply that if this was what you wanted, if she made you happy, I could live with that. As long as we were friends. And for the next year or two you and Ruki were a happy couple. Ruki confided in me and told me how happy you made her, and that made me happy to know that maybe someone else's life was bright thanks to you. It's amazing what you can do to a person, Takato. You made even Ruki happy. You're that way.

"About a month after we broke up, we started spending time together again. We'd go over to each other's houses to do homework or have dinner. We'd study for exams all night, sitting on the floor. I remember that we sometimes snuck downstairs and stole snacks from the kitchen. One of these nights at my house, we managed to sneak a bottle of sake upstairs. We sat there and giggled mindlessly, taking turns sipping at the warm alcohol. It was just like old times. We were old friends again.

"There were times when we'd simply sit and talk about the Dejimon or random things. Once at your house I broke down crying because the memories were too much for me. You just sat next to me and whispered soothing words, and when I stopped crying, you smiled warmly at me and asked if I wanted something to eat. I felt so warm inside. You always knew just how to cheer me up.

"I don't think anybody noticed the changes. They were slow and subtle, but the symptoms were there. I saw it in your eyes, but I thought it was just pressure from exams, or a little trouble with Ruki. I was always there for you, though. Sometimes we'd sit on the swings in the park and you'd start coughing a lot and I would wait for you to finish. Then we'd go on talking like nothing happened. One time I asked to meet you at the park and you came there staggering. You were drunk and I figured you and Ruki had gone a little overboard, because I remembered then that you two had been on a date that day.

"You sobered up fairly soon. But then a few weeks later, you started acting strangely. You used words you'd always hated before. Nasty words. Some of them were words not even I had ever heard, and I thought I knew them all, the way my father and stepmother had been fighting lately. But you kept coming up with new ones that seemed worse each time. You would get angry for no reason. You got sick too often. Then once at my house, during one of our study sessions, everything seemed fine. You were talking and laughing like normal. I thought it had been a brief phase. Then you suggested we raid the bar. I agreed. A little alcohol now and then was always fun as long as it didn't become a full time addiction. I was used to it. I lived above a bar, after all. But you grabbed as much as you could and hauled it up to my room. You drank it down so quickly and effortlessly I was amazed. No one I knew could drink like that.

"That's when things began to get rough. You started speaking in that raspy, deep voice that you used so often. Then you got so angry once that you hit me. And I was shocked. Too shocked to even hit back. Instead I grabbed all the empty alcohol bottles and trashed them. You went into a rage and began to beat me madly. I did not even attempt to defend myself, I was so terrified. I'd never seen you like this before. But when you had calmed down, I worked up the courage to order you out. `Get out of my house,' I said. `Matsuda Takato, I don't ever want to remember this night. You're drunk. Now get out of my room, get out of my house.' You called me something nasty and added a variation of a four-letter word as an adjective.

"I knew then what was wrong with you. You had been drinking way too much, and it was ruining your life. And then one day Ruki came to me in tears and with a black eye. She said that you had hit her. Luckily, Ruki is more aggressive than I ever was. She fought back and knocked you out. But she got that black eye in the process. I just listened to her as she blurted the whole story out. I told her that you needed help. We informed your parents that you had been drinking.

"Ruki dumped you as soon as you entered rehab. Then you came back, and you got a new girlfriend. And who was it this time? Lovable, innocent Lee Shuichon. You fourteen, she only eleven, it seemed awkward. But she had never had a boyfriend before. I wonder now if maybe you just needed someone that would return the affection that you could never again give to Ruki or me. This relationship didn't last long. You were back on the drink and Shuichon had broken up with you. You had abused her too.

"You're a wreck, Matsuda Takato," Juri finished. "And thanks to you, so am I."

"Juri, I'm sorry," Takato whispered. "You have no idea what was going on. I couldn't take it. I thought I had the perfect family. When I found out that my father was having an affair, it shattered my whole world."

"Don't you trust me, Takato? Couldn't you have come to me about it, instead of resorting to foolish measures like an alcohol addiction? I understood how it felt for you to be caught in the middle of a divorce. Why didn't you come to me? You know that I would have helped you in whatever way you could. Up until now, I've trusted you fully, Takato. But you have broken my trust. I don't know how I can ever forgive you."

Takato looked down. "I want to say, `I love you', but that wouldn't be true. It would just be stupid. But I don't want to lose you, Juri, or anyone else. You should have seen the way Jenrya looked at me when he found out I was abusing his sister. He'll never see me as a friend again. He told me that he would never forgive me. But what about you, Juri? Will you ever forgive me?"

Juri shook her head and stood up. "I don't know if I can say I ever will. You need to earn my forgiveness. And since that will never happen, I guess I'll never forgive you."

She walked away, leaving Takato alone on the park bench.

Okay, that was a definite one-shot. I've never done a friendship fic before, so I decided to make an attempt. And you know what? It was fun. I think I'll write a sibling fic next. I have an idea for a Daisuke/ Jun one. Also, watch for one called "Family Portrait" about Ryou. No, it's not a songfic. I got the name from a song, but it's not a songfic.