Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Even Angels Have a Right to Fall ❯ Even Angels Have a Right to Fall ( One-Shot )

Even Angeles Have the Right to Fall

By Chyna Rose

Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon

I hate myself. More accurately, I hate what I have become. What most people expect of me. I am no innocent; no child. I have sinned. Against myself, against others, against the world.

I killed. I may not have taken the lives with my own two hands, but the blood remains on them. They died because of me. And I destroyed them without pity. I was only eight.

I hated. I have acted in prejudice against the force called evil. I wanted it burned off the face of the Earth and the Digital World.

I never loved Hikari. At least not in that way. She's my best friend and I lover her like a sister. But I cannot be in love with her. Just as she cannot be in love with me.

I purposefully hurt a friend. I teased him and constantly put him down. I made him fight me on the verbal battlefield even after I saw he wanted a truce.

I saw his hurt and did nothing to stop it. By my silence, I allowed others to verbally tear him down. Even though I had known better. Even though I would have said something -anything- had the target been anyone but him.

I pushed away my family. I chaffed under my brother's watchful eyes until he looked away. I was cool with my mother until we became distant. I cut my father out of my life even on the rare occasion when he made an effort to be part of it. Me who wanted my family whole, out of everything I could have wished for, keeps them all away.

I lied. I lied by not telling others what I truly thought and felt. I lied by letting others believe what they would of me. I lied by telling others -be it out of anger or necessity- things that were not true. I lied by denying the truth about myself. By reasoning, rationalizing, and repressing it. Pretending that it was not true.

I have stolen the hope of others. I acted as the agent of despair by blocking or denying that one thing that would foster. Particularly when it came to him.

I envied. I envied him. I envied the way he seem comfortable. The way he as able to change; to let down his mask. To rip off his mask. He had the courage to embrace who he was, and he became all the happier for it. I cannot even change my clothing style, let alone do anything as drastic as piercing an ear.

Forgive me father for I have sinned. My sins are many and grievous. They taint my soul. I am called an angel, yet I am far from pure. Perhaps my greatest sin of all, is to keep pretending to be that perfect angel. Even if it is not who I am.