Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Flash ❯ 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Notes: are we having fun yet? The angst! The plot twists! The general bitterness of it all! Seriously though, this story may end taking a turn for the mush- I'm trying to prevent that but sometimes they really do take on a life of their own.

Warnings: extreme profanity [no really, I'm not kidding], shounen ai/yaoi, Daisuke- angry & infatuated, Ken- married & in denial, Miyako- manipulative & emotionally distraught.

Disclaimer: not mine. It's supposed to be a "kids" show… so, I don't think they could do any of this stuff in that allocated format. This is geared more towards pay cable stations or satellite.

Flash- 2

I'm awake. How do I know this? Because the ache is there. That gnawing pain in my heart where I've held my infatuation for one Ichijouji Ken for too many years. Pain that tells me to keep hoping because someday he'll open his eyes and see me- really see me. And he'll know how much he loves me. Me! Not Miyako, me.

Sorry. This is the bullshit I like to tell myself every morning. It almost makes dragging my ass out of bed easier. Almost.

I sit up and roughly rub a hand over my face. Maybe I can wake up without coffee today? HA! Not fucking likely. Rising, I glance at the mirror on the wall. Apart from growing taller and my body filling out accordingly, time hasn't touched me. My hair is still the same, my face… no, not quite the same. That constant uplift to my features vanished a while ago. No frown lines, just blankness. An empty place where some emotions should be, but instead there's nothing. Turning away I stumble for the door in the half-light of morning. The light is almost blue through the paper shades, and dulled enough that I'm not exactly sure what time it could possibly be.

In the kitchen I start to make coffee and almost begin breakfast when something occurs to me. Glancing at the clock I notice that it's only 6:15AM. Great. No wonder the world is so quiet right now. Although I'm sure the kids have school today I know they wouldn't be up and about yet. I still can't believe Jun didn't fucking tell me about that. She's got kids! Adorable little rugrats that look at the world with those wide, innocent, obsidian eyes. Eyes they each inherited from their father no doubt. Koushiro… I still can't believe it.

Shaking my head I abandon thoughts of solid food for breakfast and settle with my cup of coffee. Black- and no sugar, that taints it. As I sip at the steaming liquid I glance around the apartment. Pictures hang on the walls flashing familiar smiles. My sister has never been one to slight anyone no matter how much they may have hurt her. True to form, I spot a couple framed shots of my sister with her favorite redhead. No, not me. Well, maybe he's second favorite. I am her brother after all. Swiping the last remnants of sleep from my eyes I stretch and head towards the bathroom for a shower. On my way there I spot it- a quick shimmer of dark hair and a kind smile. Shit. Even when I'm in the comfort of family hands I can't escape him. Fuck.

The picture dates back to high school, just before he decided to fall in love with the Wicked Bitch of Japan. We were so happy then. We trusted each other without question or reservation. On the eight by ten glossy sheet the sun is shining and our eyes are dancing. He and I are glancing at one another, offering shy smiles. Funny. I never noticed that blush across his cheekbones before. No matter though. What's past is past. And that captured moment is at least a decade past. When I turn to keep on my small trip to the shower I notice a table beneath the framed shot… and I notice my sister's unique sense of decoration. It seems she likes to keep a little shrine to my memories for me. The picture. That one where I kissed him on the cheek- the one I threw out the day I left. Picking it up I bite my lip while liquid gathers in my eyes. Dammit, I swore I was done crying over this. Crying only makes me weak. Sounds die in my throat as I swallow them away when I hear the air shifting with the soft movement of footsteps behind me.

Her voice is quiet when it comes. "You found it, huh? I kept it just in case you decided you wanted it back at any point." There is silence between us for a few moments. "Guess you want an update on what's happened, right?"

I nod. "A shower first, then the catch-up session." As I pass by her I grab her shoulder quickly. "You've got some explaining to do."

Without waiting for her to reply I walk into the bathroom and shut the door. Slumping against the thin barrier of wood I try to remember what it feels like to breathe. With shaking hands I manage to strip down and turn the water on. Never one for sitting while bathing I stand and scrub down my mind racing at warp speed. How long has Jun been holding onto that picture? It must have been since I left. Yeah, she knows how I feel about the infamous former Kaizer- but I didn't think she knew then. I didn't tell her until I had a continent between us. Hands passing over my skin in the familiar movements of cleanliness I let my thoughts go to him. After all, who the hell knows when I'll have some privacy again. Skin like sugar and cream and indigo eyes like liquid sex… Oh yeah, just like that. Hitching a breath I whisper his name wishing it was his touch bringing me to orgasm. Not that I'm a virgin by any means, but seriously- should it all come down to it and Ken and I mystically, magically get it ON… Suffice it to say it'll be a quick first round. Because there will have to be more than one. I swear if he just touched any part of my bare skin at this point I'd cream my pants. My movements quicken to match my pulse… Forget even the blatant sex appeal of Ichijouji Ken, his personality alone was what made me fall so in love with him. All that sweetness- at all the right times, in all the right places. That Kindness and how willing he is to give and receive. When I come there's a harsh gasp caught in my throat. I whisper his name again to the empty room before rinsing off and toweling dry.

Returning to my room I rummage through my bag and find some suitable clothes. Tugging on a pair of jeans I grab a shirt and put that on as I make my way to the living room where Jun is waiting. Her eyes widen as she watches the cloth fall, covering my skin.

"Damn, you're jacked, huh? Fucking ripped- when did that happen? And when the hell did you get all those tattoos?!" Her voice rises a bit and she puts a hand over her mouth. "How many of those fuckin' things do you have anyway?" Now she's whispering.

I think for a moment. "Seven total," my voice is empty. She only got glimpses of the two on my chest and maybe the one on my left upper arm. Twin dragons and kanji lettering of 'breath of heaven'. There's a silhouetted angel on my right shoulder blade in complete black, a string of haiku on my thigh and the symbols for courage and friendship on my lower back and left calf respectively. Yeah, it's a lot of ink. It marks me though. And Yakuza boys have to be marked. Tattooing is kind of like a rite of passage in drug territory. It seems memories of the "good old days" are running through my mind more and more as of late. Probably something to do with seeing Ken again. One glance at that ivory skin and I feel an urge to crush some pharmaceuticals and snort them. I think it's so I won't grope him or try to cram my tongue down his throat in full view of his loving wife. Although, that could be a lot of fun…

"SEVEN?!" Jun is shrieking, all worries of quiet pretense evaporating in the morning air. "You've got SEVEN TATTOOS?" Pausing a moment she collects. "Mom's going to be so pissed at you."

"I wasn't really planning on seeing mom and dad," my voice is deadpan. Really, they hadn't been incorporated into my plans. Jun was the reason for my visit. Well, that and complete morbid curiosity about whether or not I really am some sort of masochist. "But speaking of family shame…" My words fade and I wince. "Wrong choice of words. Sorry. But you know what I'm talking about."

Sadness fills her eyes in a rush of salinity. Eyelids blink and her head drops a little. "Yeah," Jun's voice is rough all of a sudden. "That was… a mistake," she begins slowly. "Right after you left things were hectic at first. I mean, it was… the rest of the 'Destined were clamoring for attention- asking all sorts of shit about what had happened. Ken was at mom and dad's every day asking if you had contacted any of us. Every day he would come in and…" she stops. Copper eyes study my face for a moment. "Are you sure you want to hear all of this?"

After a few moments of deliberation I nod. "Yeah. I don't think the condensed version would do me any good. Hit me with it all. Don't spare any details." Settling in I glance around and spot a box of tissue. I have a feeling I'm going to need it.

Clearing her throat, Jun continues. "So anyway, Ken came over every day. And every day he would cry for, just, hours. Crying about how much he missed you and how much he cared about you. How much you meant to him- how much your trust meant to him. Wormmon was always with him too. Let me tell you, seeing an insect cry is one of the weirdest things ever. So they showed up about eight nights in a row and then Mimi showed up too. Of all of them, it seemed like she understood. Don't get me wrong- she told me everything later, but keep in mind we've got seven years to cover here. Mimi comforted Ken and reminded him that he had a fiancee waiting for him at home. The look in her eyes was so sad…" The words stop for a moment. Jun coughs a bit and scratches her chin.

"After that Ken still came, but he didn't cry as much. But he was there every damn day like it was some sort of vigil. Dai, he kept coming for nearly three years until Miyako bitched and whined enough that he had to stop. Of course, then she popped out their first kid and the twins had already been born. None of them knew that though."

Silence descends like a blanket. I can see her eyes flickering back and forth. She looks so lost- almost like a child. Grabbing a tissue and I hand it to her and pat her shoulder. "It's okay Junny Jun," my voice is quiet. "You don't have to talk about it." But I know she will anyway. Something tells me she wants to get this burden off her shoulders.

"The first time he came to me it was like a dream. It had stormed that night and the streets were glistening. He just showed up on my doorstep asking if I had heard from you recently. To me it seemed like he was looking for any excuse to stop in. We talked for a little while. I never told him that you were calling me on a regular basis in those days. Sure enough, one thing lead to another and we wound up having sex." A smile peeks out through her pain. "Nerds must study how to please a woman in bed." Copper eyes rise, mischief obvious in their depths. "Koushiro was amazing in bed."

Trying not to laugh, I smother it with my hand and a desperate cough. "Yeah, he does seem like the type that would bone up and the necessary skills…" Jun lands a playful smack on my shoulder.

"You're such a twat sometimes," she laughs. "Anyway, things continued with him for a couple months. He wanted everything to remain a secret from the others and I should've known better. It felt like he was ashamed of me. Shit, he probably was, right? I mean, why would he ever fucking stop to give half of a rat's ass about me? Don't answer that- it's meant to be rhetorical." She points at me. "So, of course when I found out I was pregnant he wanted me to get rid of them. Can you believe it? Koushiro wanted me to have a fucking abortion!"

My eyes are on the verge of falling out of my head. "You're not fucking serious are you?" When she nods I have to take a deep breath. Quickly contemplating counting to ten I scrap the idea, knowing I'll probably have to count to a billion in order to calm down. "You know if I see that nerdy motherfuck anywhere I'm going to tear of his scrotum and jam it down his throat. Fuck, Jun! How have you put up with that shit from someone who's being such a little douchebag?"

"He pays well," she says simply.

I know my eyebrows are at my hairline when she drops that one. "He does what now…?"

Jun shrugs, so nonchalant about the matter. "He pays me to keep quiet. I make enough money from my job that I just dump everything he gives me into savings for Yume and Tenshi. They'll be pretty well off by the time they're ten. Of course, you realize I was ostracized from the group. Koushiro started telling them I was a slut and a junkie or some other bullshit. Hell, maybe he's the one who said all that shit about you too. Either way, the Digidestined want nothing more to do with me. I've run into them a few times and done my best to be a shining example of purity- especially for Miyako." Jun pauses and sniffles for a moment thinking about my nemesis. "She's such a cunt," she mutters.

"I'll second that motion." Raising my coffee cup I salute her and take a swig. Something still feels a bit off kilter about all of it though. Like there's something missing. "Is that everything, Jun?"

She shakes her head and motions to the hall behind me. "No, but the rest will have to wait. The twins are up and will be out here soon. You and I both know once this conversation gets going at full throttle we'll be talking so much shit we won't know when to stop. Best not to have the chillin's present for that."

"Chillin's? You're such a dork."

Jun puts one hand on her hip and gives me the finger with the other. Sauntering to the kitchen she assembles breakfast and the rest of our morning passes without event. At some point close to noon, Chibimon rolls out of his stupor. His eyes look glassy, so I know he's been crying in his sleep. He was probably dreaming of Wormmon and becoming Paildramon again. I stoop to pick him up and have to have him repeat what he's saying about five times before I understand.

"I miss him, Daisuke," Chibi whispers into my chest, trying not to cry. "I miss them both so much."

*************

Alright, so maybe this chapter is a little crappy. But I wanted to update and this gets the job done. I may rework it in the future. Review or criticize, as you like.