Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ forbideen love between shadows of grey ❯ Chapter 1

Well this story is kind of sad

Note: Ages in this are: Sora, Tai, and Matt 26, Mimi 25

Also I didn't like the tittle of this, but I couldn't come up with a better one.

This story is written from Sora's point of view.

-_-_-_-_-_-_--_-_-_-_-_-_--_-_-_-_-_-_--_-_-_-_-_-_--_-_-_-_-_- _-

Forbidden love between shadows of gray

BY: Yamimylove

Sora's P.O.V (point of view)

We are on his bed, the bed I spent some many nights in, the bed I have had sex so many times in, had sex never made love.

I let him trust savagely into me. I hear him moan he's probably near his orgasm. I don't care cause all I can think of is you. I imagine you are the one touching me, kissing me. I imagine I touch you, I kiss you, and I make love to you. I'm lost in my fantasies, I hear him calling my name as he once again trust into me. I don't care, the only thought of you is enough to make me orgasm, I feel you, I smell you, I taste you and as he take my lips in his, I orgasm thinking its you who is savoring me. He loudly moans and collapses into me. Good luck he is wearing a condom, I don't want him to be inside me. But I have no choice; my love for you is forbidden. Besides I wouldn't take your happiness away from you. You look happy every time I see you; I can't take that away from you. I would die if I made you unhappy. Besides I repeat my love for you is forbidden. In the lonely nights I wonder how did I fell in love with you? This was not supposed to happen. I had a good relationship with Tai. But I guess it was always a lie. But it doesn't matter; my love for you is impossible. Still, I wonder how did I fell in love with another woman. No, not just any woman, I fell in love with my best friend. How the hell did I fell in love with you, Mimi?

He rolls off me and falls asleep. I decided to get dress and go home. I used to stay, not anymore. It doesn't matter; it's the same he just sleeps. As I'm about to leave he calls my name. "Sora", "What is it Tai?" I asked him. He rolls and goes back to sleep. Sometimes I feel really awful for him. He loves me and I don't love him. I wish I did, I really do but that's not gonna happen.

I get out of the apartment and walk home. It starts to rain. "Great" I think to myself. I don't run, I don't care if I get wet. The rain on my face feels good. I get home and go to my bedroom; it's so dark outside even if it's just 7:00. I lay on my bed and think of you, I always think of you. When did I start feeling this way? I guess I always knew, but was too afraid to admit it until about 2 years ago, 2 horrible years.

What would you say if I told you, would you hate me? Yes you would. You and Matt have a good relationship, you've been together for 3 years. I have seen you kiss him and the look on your eyes when you are with him. You love him. There is nothing I can do to change that. I wonder if you have completely submitted to him? I know you have made love. I remember that about one year ago you called me at 2:00 a.m., I didn't care because I love to hear your voice at any time. "Sora, guess what?" you said in a teasing voice. "What?" I asked with fear in my heart but cheer in my voice.

" Matt and I just made love". I felt the world fell on me. How could six words hurt me so bad? You've slept with him, you gave him your virginity, because you were a virgin you had told me. I wanted to scream at you, to be mad at you; to tell you that you had just ruin my life…….

But I didn't, I just searched for my calmest voice and said, "That's great Mimi". Then I stayed on the phone for about 30 minutes as you described me how it had been. I replied with cheerful words as I cried silent tears from my broken heart.

That night I wished with all my heart that I could hate Matt, but I couldn't. He makes you happy and, although it hurts me, that's enough for me. I roll over on my bed and taste salt on my lips. I realize I'm crying at the memory of that horrible night. My heart squeezes with pain as I remember your words and I fall asleep between painful memories and silent tears.

The next morning.

I open my eyes, wishing the past years were just a bad dream, they aren't. They are real and always will be. I get off the bed and dress almost mechanically. I guess I'll go see Tai, we will probably have sex again. The phone rings, lazily I go to pick it up.. If it's Tai…

"Hello, this is Sora" I say in a not so cheerful voice.

"Hi Sora, it's me Mimi"

My heart turns and flips, it's you. I knew it was you since you said the first word. I would recognize your voice anywhere. I try to calm down, but the only thought of you makes me wanna scream at the top of my lungs… I better answer you...

"Oh, Mimi. What's up?"

"Well, I need to talk to you Sora, but I would rather see you than talking it over the phone"

"Is there a problem Mimi?" I say with concern on my voice

"No, not at all. We'll talk later," you said with your cheerful voice

"O.k., what about I meet you for lunch at that new restaurant they opened by the mall?"

"Yeah, see you Sora"

"Bye Mimi"

You hung up. I stay there like an idiot listening to the dead line of the phone. I wonder what you have to tell me………

The only thought of seeing you make my day happy, I better go get ready.

At the restaurant

I look trough the people that walk in, but you are not between them. I would recognize you even a mile away. I play around with the salt at the table as I patiently wait for you. Maybe you decided to stand me up and go spent your day with Matt…. No you wouldn't do that to me, we are good friends. Just friends I remind to myself as I start fantasizing about you. Lost in my thoughts I don't see you approaching.

"Hi Sora

I turn around and see you standing there. God you are stunning¡¡!! Your long brown silky hair is in a bun behind your head, but a few straps of hair hang loosely over your sweet face. Your body is amazing as always, covered by a short pale lilac dress.

You start to stare at me, and then I realize I haven't greeted you. I quickly stand up and kiss your cheek like I always do. You kiss mine back and the feeling is indescribable

You sit in the chair in front of me. We order food and drinks before any of us mentioned the reason we are here.

We talk simple things, but I know that's not the reason you called me. I search in your pale brown honey eyes, but I don't find any sign of concern or shame, actually I notice an unusual glow on them. I finally decide to ask you the reason of our meeting.

"So Mimi,what was so important that you wanted to tell me in person?"

"Oh, well…."

You blush, you actually blush. And your eyes glow with a certain sparkle I had never seen before. I need to know what's happening

"Come on Mimi, tell me" I reply in a teasing voice.

You say nothing, but lay your hand in front of me. Why are you showing me your hand? I look at it and find nothing unusual until it hits me. A ring, you have a gold ring with a small diamond at the top…Oh my god…. I wonder if………

And as I wonder you confirm my terrible thoughts.

"Sora, Matt just asked me to marry him…and I said yes," you say with a wide smile.

I force myself to smile, that was probably the biggest effort I ever did.

I feel I'm sinking in the emptiness of my soul. I have a lump on my throat and I start to feel tears forming in my eyes.

No I will not cry, I cannot ruin your happiness. You said yes which means you love him, not me, him.

I stand up and hug you then you tell me how he proposed with the ring inside a rose after your romantic dinner last night. Then you moved on to the bedroom…..

You keep talking, but the words make no sense on my head anymore. This just seems like a bad dream, a bed dream I will wake up very soon I hope. No who am I kidding this is not a dream, its real you are marrying Matt and I'm losing you forever…

Later at Sora's apartment (about 8:00 p.m.)

"Stop it Sora¡¡" I tell to myself. "You've been crying for hours now" I lay here on my bed sobbing uncontrollably, but it doesn't matter how much I repeat to myself the same words I can't stop crying. You are marrying Matt and there is nothing I can do. You are forming a family with him while I stand aside and live in a lie. I can't stand this. Everyone was so happy for you and Matt. They all gave sincere smiles when you told them just a few hours ago. All gathered at Matt's apartment, soon your apartment too, I already knew since you had told me. Everyone hugged and kissed and smiled…….

I did too although in the inside I was dying as I am now. Tai was so happy too; maybe he thought we should be the next ones. Yeah right, me marrying Tai? Impossible how can I marry someone I don't love. Well I do love him but as a brother not as a lover. Why can't I just love him? Why do I love you? I wish I could end this entire nightmare.

Although I can end it, but it wouldn't be fair to him. Actually it would be fair to him, it's unfair now, he thinks I love him and I don't. I shouldn't even be at this world. Nobody needs me, I'm just standing in the way of people's happiness and I not even happy myself , I'm really unhappy.

So I decided it, I'm ending this…I'm ending this now….

I get off the bed and walk to the kitchen I search in the drawers until I find a big sharp knife. I lay it on the table and walk around the apartment, what should I do?

Well I know it would end my suffering but what if I hurt someone? But whom would I hurt. Nobody really needs me, the guys will feel sad for a couple of days and then get over it. Brian will just shed a few tears and go on with some other girl and you; you have Matt and will not miss me. Besides in a few years you would have your family and even if I were there, you wouldn't need me.

So I guess it's decided, I'm ending my life and finish with this fucking suffering right now.

I walk to the kitchen table and take the knife but as I am about to cut myself, I remember something: shouldn't I leave a note or something like that? I mean people would probably need to know why I killed myself…but who cares I don't own anything to people. Well…I do own something to Brian. If he hadn't been there for me I would have probably do this sooner. So I decide I'm writing Brian a note, he can show it to the guys so they know what happened. He can show it to you, so you know my deepest secret.

I open the top drawer and take out a notebook and a pen and I start writing my note… I wonder what should I write. It's not easy to tell your boyfriend you've been in love with someone else the past years and you killed yourself because of that.

Ahh…....I'll just try to explain this fucking mess.

Dear Tai:

I really wish I wasn't writing this, but sadly I am. By the time you read this, I'll luckily be dead. It sounds funny right, I mean luckily? I guess lots of people wouldn't think that, but this is the only way I could think off to end this horrible suffering. By now you are probably wondering why the hell I did this. Well it's not easy to explain but I guess it doesn't matter anymore if I am dead. Brian, the past years of our relationship have been great, but it was always a lie. Because I'm really in love with someone else. And the main reason I did this is because that person doesn't love me back; in fact she is getting married pretty soon to Matt. I'm talking about Mimi; yeah believe it or not I'm, or was, in love with another woman, with Mimi. Tai I want you to know that I love you very much but I just love you like a brother not a lover. I want to ask you to please forgive me if I hurt you, I never meant to but I just can't stand this anymore. Thank you for all you ever did for me Tai, you helped through the toughest times.

Please tell everybody I'm sorry, and that I love them all.

Sincerely,

Sora

I tear off the sheet of paper and neatly fold it. "To Tai" I write on the front. I wonder how will everyone react after they find me, maybe they won't find me, maybe everyone will forget about me and never realize I'm dead. Ah…who cares anyway I'm just ending this.

I take the knife again and without thinking I make a quick move and make a deep cut on my left wrist. I cut the other one and fall to the floor because of the intense pain. I see the thick, red blood running through the floor. Everything starts to look blurry and I can't recognize the sounds around me. The sharp pain is fading slowly. But suddenly I hear a voice at the distance; it sounds like …Oh my god¡ could it be…you.

Mimi went to Sora's apartment, she had knocked the door twice but there had been no answer. Worried about Sora she took the extra key she had for the apartment and went in. She called Sora's name but there was no answer. She walked to the kitchen to find a trail of red blood and Sora lying on the floor with a knife next to her.

"Oh my god¡" yelled Mimi and kneeled next to Sora on the floor. "... Mimi …What are you doing here?" I asked with a weak voice. "Oh Sora I just saw you kind of sad at Matt's apartment and I came to see what happened to you" said Mimi. "You worried about…me" I replied. "Of course I do Sora, but why have you done this?¡¡" said Mimi with now tears in her eyes. "Oh Mimi …I'm doing this because…of …you" I said in a whisper, it doesn't matter if I tell her now, anyway I'll soon be dead. "Me?" repeated Mimi. "Mimi I never told you …but …I…love you Mimi". "But I love you too Sora" said Mimi.

"No Mimi, I love you in a different way that you love me, I love you in a way you'll never love me, I love you like a….lover" I said and ran out of air, slowly everything was becoming blurry, I could barely see Mimi.

"Oh Kim" sighed Mimi. "Why, why? Why you?", " I'm sorry" repeated Mimi over and over as she cried next to Sora.

" Don't cry Mimi.." I said almost with no voice. Mimi just kept crying crawling Kim in her arms.

"Good…bye " I said as my last whisper and slowly the pain disappeared, everything became darker, I was surrounded between shadows of gray, everything around me became silent. I took one last look at Mimi's pale brown eyes filled with tears, as the shadows surrounded me and then darkness…………….

Epilogue-

Mimi called the police and explained everything, and then she found the letter Sora had left for Tai. She gave Tai his letter and as he read every word he cried a new tear.

Everyone was really sad about Sora and Mimi kept blaming herself for being so stupid, but nobody blamed it on her.

A few days afterward they buried Sora in Odaibba. Everyone cried silent tears for their now lost fellow.

Everyone moved on with his or her life and started getting ready for Mimi's and Matt's wedding but always in their hearts they felt the small emptiness of Sora's death and there was one sure thing they'll never forget her.

The end

.