Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Forever Alone ❯ Broken ( Chapter 1 )

FOREVER ALONE

Author: Yaoi Angel

Pairing: Taito or Kenato? You choose., Taiora (don't worry, it doesn't last.)

Summary: Matt's just not ready to take `THE' step in his relationship with Taichi. During a Christmas party though, he find out why the goggled boy hasn't been so persistent lately, and the result is an instant breaking of his heart. Can Tai figure out that he was caught with his pants down (^_^') and save Yama before a second suicide attempt? Or will he choose that stupid, over fucked whore Sora.

Warnings: Yaoi, lots of Yama-angst, Suicide attempt, Sora-bashing (of Course), a bastard Tai and a Lemon if I get enough requests for one.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 1.

It's amazing what love can do. It can make you feel invincible and strong like you could take on anything as long as that special someone is with you. That special person who understands you, cares for you and brightens up your whole life with a simple smile. Some think that love is beautiful and flawless. I don't blame them, I was like that too, but it's not true. Love isn't all about joy; it can hurt and cause unbearable pain in your heart, heck, it can drive you to self-manipulation if not suicide.

How do I know all this? It's because I've experienced these emotions, love and pain. I was happy for a long while, really happy. I had the one person I loved by my side and nobody could take him away. At least that's what I thought. Love is unpredictable I guess. For one, I would have never imagined that I could be so happy, but I could have also never imagined that this was how I'd end up, alone and betrayed. Maybe this was supposed to happen, something good happened in my messed up life, then it was all over in seconds, I guess I don't deserve true happiness.

Confused? Well it's simple really. A week ago I had a Christmas party at my house. Everything was going great. All the digidestened were together and we had lots of fun, but at some point I noticed Tai and Sora weren't there. It was alright that Sora wasn't there but Tai should've been, he was my boyfriend and he PROMISED to spend Christmas with me. I started to get a bad feeling so I decided to look for him.

He wasn't in the kitchen, the living room or the bathroom. That only left one choice, my room. I wish I hadn't been so curious though, because what I saw completely tore me apart. My boyfriend, the person who'd sworn his love to me on countless occasions, the person I though would be with me forever had betrayed me. I don't think he noticed me, but I did. He and Sora were both butt naked, going at it like damn rabbits in spring. Ok that was a bad pun but I was in too much shock. My entire body was trembling to the point where I thought I'd fall if the wall weren't there. How could this have happened? In my own bed non-the-less. Everything after that was just screwed.

I joined the party for a little bit more until my EX-boyfriend and the whore came out, TRYING to act normal. Then there was the task of avoiding them for the rest of the night. It worked pretty well to my opinion, but it still made me happy when everyone went home. Tai was the last person to my disappointment. This is how it went. We were both standing between the open doorway staring at each other, or in my case, glaring. I remember exactly what was said. It's hard to forget.

"It was a great party koi, I had a lot of fun" Then he gave me that once irresistible, now unbearable grin of his.

"I'll bet you did Taichi." Those were my last words of wisdom as I slammed the door in his face.

Game over, he had won, stolen my heart and shattered it. I'm pathetic aren't I? I mean I have been sulking ever since then, I haven't even gone to school and my dad hasn't forced me to. He knows something is seriously wrong and is still trying to get it out of me. But I'm not going to say a thing, I haven't for the last week and I won't start now.

"Yamato, please eat something, you'll make yourself sick." Too late for that, of course I won't say that out loud to him, he doesn't need to worry that much. So I just look up at him blankly. Don't get me wrong now, my father's a great guy, but sometimes he fusses over me too much, and lets face it, at sixteen I should learn to solve my problems alone.

"Did something happen between you and Tai?" I was not excepting that and my eye momentarily twitched, he noticed this.

"You two broke up didn't you?" Oh god, he knows, I knew I couldn't hide it for long though.

"…I-I saw him…sleeping with Sora…" I don't wait for a reply to my broken sobs and immediately take off to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. As I turn around I can see my reflection. My hair's a bit messy…if that's possible according to what the others always say, my cheeks are flushed and stained with dried and fresh tears. I'm a real wreck. Everyone says I look good, even guys, but they're all liars, I truly hate the face staring back at me in the mirror, so miserable and emotionally drained.

A glistening peace of metal suddenly catches my eye. It's an old razor resting next to the small white sink…should I? I have nothing to live for…but my career, I don't want to end it, not when the band has become so popular.

Then again, what does that matter; it'll be over soon, I should do this while I'm ahead. Hesitantly, I pick up the wet, rusty razor and hold it over my left wrist. My faintly visible vein is just begging to be further exposed; I should at least grant it that pleasure. I once heard that the slower you do it the less pain there is because you gradually immune yourself to it. Bullshit! I can feel the cold metal cutting into my flesh, it hurts a lot, but not as much as my heart so I can bear it a little longer.

"Yamato? What are you doing in there, are you alright?"

Uh oh, if my father gets in he'll stop me, I truly don't want to stop, this WILL be my end, it has to be. And with that thought in mind, I managed to pull out the razor from the long deep gash and hand it to my shaky left hand. A few bangs on the door echo through the cool room but I merely ignore them and begin on my other wrist. This one is a bit shallower though, my strength is leaving along with the crimson blood that's steadily running down my pale arm.

"Yamato?!"

I smile sadly and bow my head, staring at the wide gashes I've caused. It's beautiful in a way; the same blood dripping off my trembling wrists represents all my pain, sipping out of me like life its self. The pain is growing unbearable and the banging of the door is becoming brutal. He'll get in any time now, the hinges are already squeaking in protest of the applied pressure and the entire door will break down, he'll find me and save me… I don't want to be saved.

I can feel my legs suddenly give out and the next thing I know, a sharp bolt of intense pain shoots through the side of my temple…then there's nothing but darkness.

(T.K.)

"I'd hate to interrupt your class Ms Yashi, but I have a note here for…Takeru?" I look up in surprise at hearing my name. A short plump lady was standing by my teacher's desk, looking utterly serious. I nervously raised my hand and she turned to me. That lady was the deputy principal, the only time she ever came to get a student personally meant that they were in really big trouble…but I haven't done anything wrong so it really confuses me. Mrs. Gale is her name; she hands me the note in her tight grip and gives me a sad smile.

"Your father sent this note, it's got something to do with your brother, and he said it was serious." I nod thankfully and begin to unfold the white piece of paper. To tell you the truth, I'm scared. I haven't seen Yamato for the past week; he won't take my calls and every time I go over, dad always make an excuse as to why I can't see him. It's either `he's got the flue' or some other not-so-serious sickness. I know my brother's frailer than other people, mentally and physically, but not talking to me? He's never done that before.

I carefully scan the hurriedly scribbled words on the sheet of paper. My skin must have gone ten shades pale because the whole class was staring at me.

"Oh god… no…"