Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ I JUST WANNA LIVE ❯ Indesicions ( Chapter 2 )

I JUST WANNA LIVE

 

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Digimon; I'm not rich, nor am I Japanese therefore ownership is denied to me.

Warnings: First of all it yaoi, meaning guy/guy, there's some OOCness going on, and some younger digidestined bashing, this is Taksuke/Daikeru with other couples mentioned. Title taken from Good Charlotte's The Chronicles of Life and Death.

 

CHAPTER 2

 

~E-mail~

 

TO: boygeniuskai@AOL.com

FROM: nuknoledge@AOL.com

SENT: *****************

MESSAGE: phone or IM me ASAP!!! Concerns Dai &Take!

 

Ken, today after school Dai-san told us digidestined that he is gay. Hikari-san and Miyako-san reacted very badly to the news and for all intents and purposes broke off their friendship with him. I just got off the phone with Kari-chan after listening to her rant for forty-five minutes. Apparently Takeru-san bitched her and Miya-chan out for their reaction to Dai-san's news, he then informed them that he was Bisexual leaning to the liking guy's side, and he broke up with Kari-chan until she decides to grow up and stop being so narrow-minded. I admit the first thing I felt when Dai-san told us was revulsion and fear, especially when he told me he had been checking me out! But now after I've had a chance to slow down and think about it and particularly after hearing about Take-san I'm really more confused than anything! I need someone to talk to and I was wondering if you could contact me and help me sort through this.

~~~MESSAGE ENDS~~~

 

~Ken's POV~

 

Ken turned on his computer after finishing his homework and eating supper to check his e-mail. He scanned the long list and deleted any obvious spams. Coming across Iori's message he immediately opened and read it. He sat back and considered what to do; he realized that he might have an opportunity to help Dai-kun keep a friend that he would desperately need now that he was refusing to hide his sexuality. Also Iori would be better off if Ken could help him open his mind to the fact that not everyone lived the same lifestyles as everybody else. Now how to go about this; it was too late to go visit Iori tonight and this needed to be done soon. The telephone would allow Ken to hear some of the emotions Iori let slip, but at the same time he might not open up as much for fear of letting said emotions slip. Instant messaging would allow for a more intellectual exchange but would deny Ken potentially important feedback from Iori's tone of voice. Hmm, nice catch twenty-two, well the important thing to get Iori to open up and let him get all his feelings out, he can analyze them himself if he really wants to. What he really needs right now is a sounding board to hear him out and nudge him in the right direction so I guess IM it is.

 

~Iori's POV~

 

Iori had just come back from supper and was killing time on the internet while waiting to see if Ken would contact him tonight. He was about ready to give up for the night when the IM symbol on his screen began flashing. He closed up his other windows and clicked on the messenger icon.

 

You have an instant message from KINDNESS101 will you accept YES/NO.

 

Iori immediately accepted and read Ken's first message.

 

KINDNESS101: okay Iori I've got the gist of what happened but why don't you fill in some of the details?

 

4KNOWLEDGE: well daisuke asked us to meet him after school by the picnic tables out front so he could tell us something. Everybody but Takeru showed up and Daisuke went ahead and told us he was attracted to guys. I know a little bit about relationships, but I really don't have any first hand experience with them seeing as how I'm just now entering into puberty, so when Hikari and Miyako acted repulsed I did the same thing. I had Kendo practice after that and I was not able to fully concentrate because of the questions and images that keep popping into my head. During the meeting Daisuke made the comment that I was `cute' and that he had `checked me out'. Now I keep having visions of the two of us kissing and touching, and I never had those kinds of thoughts until he brought it up. I'm scared and confused Ken, what if I'm like that, you know GAY?!!!

 

KINDNESS101: before you go and freak out let me ask you; how much do you really know about gays?

 

4KNOWLEDGE: not much I admit. I've heard the stories about STD's, and how they are always sleeping around, sometimes with a different guy each night, and about how most of them are child molesters and they, are constantly trying to recruit kids and teenagers into becoming gay!

 

KINDNESS101: so in other words you only know what you've heard in rumors and lies that figures. The only thing being a homosexual means is that a person is attracted to someone of the same sex, that's all. There are as many different ways that gay's live their lives as there are straight lifestyles, and currently the highest # and fastest growing AIDS population is straight females. Yes, some gay guys sleep around a lot but so do some straight guys; stupidity is not limited to one particular orientation. Third point and the one nobody wants to talk about is that ninety percent of child molestations are perpetrated by straight males, not homosexual males. Rape, and that what most of these cases really are, has more to do with power over someone else and brain chemistry imbalances than actual sex; the others are mostly consensual acts that homophobic parents find out about and then press charges against the older participant. And finally the only recruiting going on is older gays letting younger closeted, suicidal, unloved, scared kids know that it's okay to admit what their orientation is. Did that answer some of your questions? (A/N: all the above are true facts to the best of my research.)

 

4KNOWLEDGE: can I ask you another question, are you gay or straight?

 

KINDNESS101: ha, ha, I don't mind you asking, but I'm straight. The reason I know so much is because Daisuke came out to me months ago. After he left I realized that I didn't know that much about how gay's lived either so I began to educate myself. Most of what I found on the internet was pure trash, a lot of porn sites, a lot of anti-gay propaganda, but I was able to find and verify some of the facts I just told you about. Two websites that were helpful were the `advocate.com' and `xy.com', the first is more politically focused and the second is more teen/young adult oriented. Both are websites based on popular gay magazines. XY has a `gay teen survival guide' that talks about issues that not only affect gay teens but also all teens as well. The Advocate keeps up with political issues facing gays like the DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT's (DOMA), the proposed anti-gay marriage amendment to the federal constitution, and which politicians are pro/anti gay rights, among other items.¹

 

4KNOWLEDGE: wow this is a lot to think about before bed. Can I talk to you some more when I need to?

 

KINDNESS101: anytime, call or come over, my parents won't mind a short notice sleep over, after all Dai-kun does it all the time since his parents are gone so much! Would you mind if I explain some of this to him. It would really help him to know that you don't actually hate him and you're just confused. I want you to know that which ever side you decide you fall on, straight or gay, that the three of us (me, daisuke, and takeru too) will always want you to be our friend. Like me, just because I'm straight doesn't mean I have to hate gays.

 

4KNOWLEGE: no I don't mind if you tell Dai-kun about my feelings. In fact I will probably find him tomorrow and apologize myself! Let him know I'm still uncomfortable but that I am trying.

 

KINDNESS101: before you sign off will you tell me what happened with Takeru-kun. You never did explain exactly why Hikari-san was mad.

 

4KNOWLEDGE: Oh right, well it seems that Take-kun had an emergency basketball meeting after school so he wasn't there for Dai-kun's announcement. Anyway, I didn't witness it but this is the way Hikari-san explained it to me. She and Miyako were on their way to meet Take-kun at the gym; he came outside and asked them about Dai-kun's meeting. They informed him, and quite nastily I imagine of Daisuke's preferences. Take-kun said something a along the lines of `he finally admitted it out loud huh?' Hikari-san and Miyako-san did not like Take-kun's casual acceptance of Daisuke's orientation and they let him know about it. He then bitched them out, something along the lines of trusting your friend and standing beside him even if you don't always agree with him. He then told the two girls that he was Bisexual leaning towards the liking guys' side esp. considering their bigoted reaction. Finally he informed Hikari that until she grew up and stopped being so narrow-minded that they should not date any longer.

 

KINDNESS101: WOW, even I didn't suspect him of having an attraction to the same sex, though I guess it does make sense considering. Just goes to show, you can never tell about some people. Thanks for keeping me informed Iori and I hope I was able to help you sort through some of your own thoughts and feelings. Just remember that being narrow-minded is not very smart esp. for the bearer of the crest of knowledge. Sayonara.

 

4KNOWLEDGE: Sayonara.

 

~~~END SESSION~~~

 

Ken sat back from his computer and mulled over these latest developments in his friends life. He had known from several other sources that the six older digidestined were all gay, include in that number Daisuke and Takeru and that made eight gay digidestined, add one questioning Iori for a total of nine potentially gay digidestined. He knew that he was possibly bisexual himself, but he had yet to feel any sort of sexual attraction to a guy. He would not say no to dating someone of the same sex if he someday felt an urge to do so, but for right now he was content to call himself a heterosexual.

 

Ken frowned as he thought about the two other more recalcitrant digidestined. He doubted that Miyako was truly homophobic; it was more likely that she just selfishly wanted to keep the number of males for her to chase at a higher percentage. Hikari though would be a problem, she and her family were truly homophobic, except her brother of course, but that actually made the situation worse. Poor Tai-sempai would almost certainly lose his family when he came out, and there was nothing anybody could do to change that. That reminded Ken; he needed to let the older digidestined know that he knew about their being gay. He also needed to make Tai-sempai promise not to tell his parents about his orientation without at least two other guys nearby to keep his dad from hurting him.

 

Ken made up a list of things to do which included ordering both Daisuke and Takeru each a copy of XY's survival guide two, and finding out if Iori wanted a copy. He then went to his bathroom and got ready for bed. “Tomorrow is probably going to be tough for Dai-kun and Take-kun, maybe I'll go and visit Odaiba and see how their holding up.” With that Ken crawled into bed and did his best to get past his worrying and go to sleep.

 

~The next morning~

 

Takeru's mom eased her son's bedroom door open and peered inside. Seeing that the two boys were still asleep she raised her digital camera and snapped several photo's before pausing to simply enjoy the picture the two boys made while cuddled together under the covers like two contented kittens. She had known about her sons preferences long before either of them had told her out loud. After all you do not grow up with a brother who leaned that way without developing a sort of intuition and empathy for those who are attracted to the same sex. She then thought about Hikari's brother Taichi being gay and her not having a clue so maybe it's just me; then again maybe she's just in denial. I really can't understand people who are so narrow minded, especially when they don't have a religious reason as an excuse. It may just be that I was raised to respect the choices other people make in their own lives, and it's not like those born homosexual chose to be that way; after all who would willingly chose to become part of a minority that seventy to eighty percent of the world dislike or out right hate. I just hope that these children don't have to suffer like my brother did; hopefully the world has become more accepting of alternative lifestyles.

 

“Well enough wool gathering time to get moving; after all the boys would probably sleep the day away if I let them. I believe they are going to have a hard enough time facing their classmates today without adding tardiness to their worries” she muttered to herself. “ALRIGHT BOYS UP AND AT UM, come on now go get your showers and get dressed. I'll have breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen.” With that said she turned and walked back towards the front of the apartment.

 

“God is your mom always perky this early in the morning?” Daisuke complained while untangling himself from TK and climbing out of bed.

 

“No, I imagine that she has already had three or four cups of coffee with lots of sugar and cream since she woke up” Takeru explained. “On days when she doesn't have to go into work she can sleep till noon just fine.”

 

“Oh good, I could just envision her coming in here every morning and telling us to hurry up and greet the day!” Daisuke exaggerated.

 

“Yes well why don't you hurry up and go take a shower instead; we do still need to go greet our adoring public at school today. I'm both curious and scared of what everybody's reaction is going to be.”

 

“Damnit I was trying not to think about that, and here you go reminding me. TK if this goes badly what are we going to do?”

 

“First off, I hope that not everyone at school is as narrow minded as our former friends. Second the school has a responsibility to provide for every students safety while on campus so if something does get started at school and the administration takes no action or worse blames us we contact lawyers or the ACLU and let them take the school to court. I'm more worried about what happens when we leave school grounds, because out there the homophobes will have a better chance of getting to us, so we should stay near people as much as possible. I doubt that they'll be stupid enough to start something around a crowd and if they are then there will be witnesses to back us up and we can press charges and they go to jail for assault or worse” Takeru reassured his best friend. “I hope it doesn't come to that because I for one don't want to get beaten up but if it does happen we make sure not to start anything or throw the first punch, and then we let the law handle it. We cannot and do not have to deal with this alone, we have to trust others. Luckily in our state we have hate crimes legislation that includes gay bashing, that means there are stricter penalties for crimes against minorities, and that includes us.”

 

“Wow you sure know a lot about this stuff, were did you learn all that?”

 

“Well my mom figured out my orientation before I did; it seems I also had a gay uncle and she recognized some of the signs in me. Anyway she'd already begun researching ways to help keep me safe and legislation that could affect the rights and freedoms gay's have. She had to watch her brother struggle just to survive in a world that could not accept him for who he was and it hurt her badly. She swore that Yamato and I would not go through that same suffering and so she and I write letters and e-mails to our representatives trying to persuade them to be fair and open minded about people who do not share their beliefs.”

 

“You speak of your uncle with such sadness, what happened to him?” Daisuke asked softly.

 

“He was murdered by a group of teenage gay bashers when he was twenty years old. There were ten of them; they beat him unconscious and left him for dead. A passerby found him later that night and called an ambulance which rushed him to the hospital, but he never woke up and died two day's later. The idiots who did it bragged to their friends and word got back to the local police department. The boys were arrested and charged with manslaughter, but all the local churches came out in support of the ten murderers and the judge was in the congregation of one of the churches. Apparently it's alright to commit murder so long as the victim is gay because the boys were convicted, sent to the local juvenile detention center, and released when they turned eighteen on `good behavior.' My mom's family packed up and moved shortly after the trial, but before they left her father wrote an outraged letter to the editor that actually got published. It basically said that if it was good and Christ like to condone the murder of someone you disagreed with, then the whole town should be proud of themselves for doing the Christian thing. He personally did not have the need for a religion that condoned hatred and instilled fear, but if that was what the town wanted then they were welcome to it. My grandfather stayed bitter about the loss of his son and the lack of justice for a long time, but karma apparently does balances out the universe after all. A couple of years after the boys were released all of the major industries in the county either went bankrupt and closed or moved away, which forced the people to leave and find employment elsewhere. The town went from having a population of approximately thirty five thousand to currently less than one thousand and shrinking. My grandparents take a small bit of satisfaction in knowing that the town that helped murder their son barely exist anymore and they hardly think about the wretched place; having been welcomed here. Hey why are we standing here aren't you suppose to be in the shower; now hurry up.” Takeru exclaimed while pushing Daisuke out the door.

 

~forty-five minutes later~

 

“Okay you boys be safe today, come straight home after school and just try not to let anybody start anything. If anybody harasses you make notes including the time and place and inform the administration about it. Hopefully this will die down shortly and we can all go back to living fairly normal lives. I'll keep my cell phone nearby today at work so if something does happen I want you to call me immediately.” She hugged both boys “I love you both, you Daisuke-chan have become almost like a son to me these past several years. You two stick together as much as possible today and try to determine who will support you and whom to stay away from. This is going to be hard on you but the two of you can do this together.” With that she let them out the door and said a silent prayer to which ever gods may be listening to keep the two children safe from harm. She then went and finished preparing to leave for work, worrying the entire time.

 

The two boys walked close beside each other and keep a wary eye out for any of their schoolmates. They tensed up when a sophomore came rushing up to them. They relaxed only slightly when the boy did not immediately attack them. Instead he stopped running and began talking none stop, asking them questions like, “hey are the rumors about you true Daisuke-san, are you really gay? Who are you dating? What about you Takeru-san are you gay to or are you just supporting Dai-san?”

 

“Whoa, Kaito-san stop with the questions and we'll tell you all about it. Now in order yes, nobody at the moment and sort of, you see TK-kun is Bi leaning to the liking guys side. Any other questions we can help you with?” Daisuke answered.

 

“Wow, so it is true, I would have never guessed what with the way the two of you used to chase Hikari-chan around. Hey how do the rest of your friends feel about this? Wow it just occurred to me you two are like the first real gays I've ever talked to. Man this is so cool, I wonder who else I know might be gay?”

 

Daisuke and Takeru let Kaito ramble on to himself while they continued to make their way to school. They still kept an eye out for classmates that might not be as enthused about their sexuality as the sophomore appeared to be, but nothing else happened on the entire ten minute walk from Takeru's apartment to the combination junior high/senior high school. That all changed as they walked into the school yard. Conversations died in a wave spreading outwards from the school gate only to be replaced by hushed whispers. After a few seconds several girls broke away and approached the two nervous teens.

 

“Hey I see Ryu-kun over there, I'll talk to you guys some more later, okay, bye!” Kaito said enthusiastically.

 

“Well at least we know one person doesn't hate our guts” Daisuke whispered to Takeru as they watched the girls come up to them.

 

“Oh, Dai-san is it true, do you really like boys more than girls.” “Are you really a stripper at a gay bar and sell yourself to the customers for extra money?” “Are you like planning on having a sex change operation?” “I heard that you were planning on moving out to California with your older boyfriend.” One of the gathered girls asked.

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop!!! Yes I am gay and Takeru is Bi but none of that other shit is even close to being true. I'm still the same person I was yesterday, or a month ago, now you just happen to know a little bit more about me, that's all.” Both the boys looked at each other knowingly, Daisuke had been the only one mentioned so far. Not a word had been said about Takeru coming out. They both knew that all these nasty rumors were being pushed by Hikari and to a lesser extent Miyako. They were a warning to Takeru to abandon his friend or the same thing would happen to him. All this passed between the two with a glance, and then Takeru just smiled at Daisuke letting him silently know that he would remain by his side.

 

“Oh no not you too Takeru-san, this is so horrible two of the most suteki na bishÅnens² aren't available anymore. Wait, `gasp', you two aren't together are you?” another of the girls asked.

 

Daisuke hung his head and sighed; the day was just getting started and already he was tired of the questions. Takeru answered for them “for right now no we're not dating each other. I just broke up with Kari-san, and we are both still dealing with everybody knowing that we like guys. Besides if those rumors you asked us about are any indication then Hikari-san and Miyako-san are going to continue putting us down for a while.”

 

“You think those rumors were started by Kari-chan and Miya-chan, that so horrible if it's true. I thought that all of you were friends why would they do something like that?” one of the girls asked sympathetically.

 

“We, of course cannot prove it, but when I told Hikari-san, Miyako-san, and Iori-san about my true orientation yesterday afternoon they all reacted really badly. They basically told be to either lie and continue to act straight or consider our friendship over. I will not lie for the benefit of their comfort, while I slowly die inside so until they decide otherwise I guess they do not deem me a friend” Daisuke said with a forlorn look on his face. His eyes were wet but he was doing his best not to let the tears fall. Takeru too looked upset at the thought of losing three of his best friends over something he had no control over. Takeru paused for a moment before adding “it gets worse, you see I had to attend a basketball meeting on short notice so I missed Dai-kun's meeting and when I meet Hikari-san and Miyako-san outside the gym they were both bad mouthing gay's in general and Daisuke in particular. They feel that being gay is sick and disgusting and the only natural pairing should be a man and a woman. They do not even think that two guys can love each other romantically, but isn't romantic love the same as friendship only like a thousand time more powerful? It really bothers me how people who are usually so kind and giving of themselves can become completely hateful when someone mentions gays.”

 

The girls all surrounded the two boys and gave them both a group hug letting them know both silently and verbally that they supported them. “Oh don't worry you two we'll stand by you, after all nobody can control who they fall in love with! Besides I'm sure that not everybody in this school is as narrow minded as those so called friends of your and we will help you in any way we can, right girls!” “Right!” they answered back.

 

“Thank you all so much, right now the best thing you can do is spread the word about Hikari-san's and Miyako-san's rumor mongering. If we can keep the two of them from destroying our reputations that will help a lot; also try and find out who is for us and who is against us. You can gently try and persuade those against but don't endanger yourselves; we would feel guilty if any of you were hurt on our account. So be safe, but keep your ears, eyes, and mouths open, as much as possible; let people know our side of the story if you don't mind, and really, thank you girls for believing in us it's more than we were hoping for.”

 

~in first period~

 

“Well I personally lost count of the number of people who called me queer or fag after it reached twenty” Daisuke complained after checking his desk for booby traps.

 

“Thirty-six different people insulted you, and a few insulted me for being around you. It won't take long for word to get around about my preferences either so then we'll be equally hated. I think that we should have a meeting with the principal soon to discuss bringing tolerance classes and anti-homophobia speakers into the school. The sooner we start to educate people about how we're no different than they are except we're attracted to the same sex, the sooner we can hopefully relax a bit. But for right now stay alert and keep that digital recorder I gave you handy. If someone gets really nasty start recording them; then we'll turn them in to the office and demand that disciplinary action be taken; the school is suppose to provide everyone with a safe and relaxed learning environment.”

 

“This just feels so weird knowing that I am trying to get someone in trouble.”

 

“No, Dai-kun we are not getting anyone in trouble, we are merely collecting evidence to protect ourselves. Besides it's their choice to stir up trouble, nobody forces people to be idiots” Takeru consoled Daisuke. Everybody quieted down as the teacher brought the class to a start and began taking attendance.

 

~Lunch time~

 

Takeru and Daisuke were sitting with Kaito, some of his friends, and several of the girls from that morning when Iori walked up holding a tray. He hung his head as every pair of eyes at the table turned to look at him. He stopped beside Daisuke's and Takeru's seats and quietly asked “may I please sit down here so I can maintain at least a little dignity while I apologize to you Daisuke-sama.”

 

Daisuke and Takeru both exchanged startled looks before turning around to face Iori more fully. They both studied their younger friends face closely but found nothing but sincerity. Takeru simply nodded his head while Daisuke broke out into a face splitting grin and asked the girl beside him “Jo-chan would you move down a seat and let Iori sit here, please?”

 

“No problem Dai-san, I need to be going anyway Mrs. Plodovic wants to see me about some kind of special project she wants me to work on” Joanna answered.

 

“Okay we'll see you later.”

 

Iori sat down gingerly and took several deep breaths before turning to face Daisuke with eyes full of regret. “Daisuke-sama, Takeru-sama I did a bad thing yesterday afternoon. I didn't follow heart; instead I allowed fear to take over and went along with what Hikari-san and Miyako-san were saying. I know I hurt you badly and you now have no reason to trust me. I hope that someday you will forgive me and I might regain your friendship.” Iori stared at the table, unable to meet Daisuke's potential rejection head on.

 

He had gone to bed the night before fairly confident that Dai-kun would accept his apology and they could resume their friendship with no trouble. That was before his nightmare filled slumber. He'd been awakened several times last night sweating profusely and trembling with some unnamed fright. The closest he could come to describing it was utter aloneness; a fear that he would be alone in the world for the rest of his life with no friends and nobody to love him ever. Sitting up in bed last night at four A.M., he was terrified of going back to sleep, Iori knew he had to make things right with Daisuke and Takeru too, but now he was afraid that his nightmares would come true and they wouldn't want anything to do with him ever again. He did not go back to sleep instead he sat up worrying until his mother came to wake him up for school. She was slightly worried by his fatigued appearance but seeing as how her son did not look too bad she sent him to school with the admonition to come home if he felt worse anytime today. As he walked to school Iori tried to distract himself from his worrying by thinking about something else. What immediately came to mind was his admission to Ken last night that he was now questioning his own sexual orientation. This subject was not much better than the first so he instead began trying to remember poetry quotes that they were suppose to learn for their English class. Before he knew it he was walking through the school's front gate just in time to hear the first period bell ring. He knew he would have no time to find Daisuke and Takeru and give them a proper apology before class began. “Great” he muttered to himself “now I get to worry about it even longer. Needless to say he was not the most attentive student in his classes that morning. By lunch time he felt more grateful than ever to have this lunch period with his friends. Exiting the lunch line with his tray he ignored Hikari's and Miyako's waving and instead made his way towards a head of red hair that was obviously Daisuke's.

 

All these memories passed through his head during the short silence that followed his admission. Finally he noticed the lack of comments his statement should've produced. Now his heart was pounding and his stomach was knotting up in fear of his nightmares really coming true and he realized there would be no way that Hikari or Miyako would have anything to do with him after this, not that, that was a bad thing per say. Glancing up with a look of fear and defeat on his face he saw not the look of blank rejection, or the hatred he expected instead he saw only curiosity.

 

Iori felt a little more hopeful until Daisuke began to talk again after regaining Iori's full attention. “Iori I have two questions before I can decide whether to forgive you or not. First what made you change your mind, and second I need to know what you were so afraid of.”

 

Iori opened his mouth to answer before closing it again. He realized that everyone at the table would hear this and spread it around school faster than the flu virus, but he decided that regaining his friendship with Daisuke, Takeru, and Ken was more important than his reputation. With lingering memories of his nightmares goading him on he began to speak “I admit that when you told us about your orientation yesterday afternoon I felt some disgust, but I was also feeling confused. I had a hard time concentrating during my practice, and the confusing feelings only got worse after I talked to Hikari-san and she told me about you coming out too, Takeru-sama. I needed someone I could trust to talk to, so I e-mailed Ken because I figured that if I did not already know about Daisuke, he could at least be fairly unbiased about things, though now that I think about it I doubt that he could ever really be unbiased where his best friend is concerned. Anyway he helped me talk out my feelings, he straighten me out on some misinformed opinions I had about gays, and he told me that even though he was straight that he felt no motivation to hate people who happened to be gay. He enlightened me to the reality that I did not have to hate gays just because other people felt compelled to. He also forced me to tell him what was confusing me so much. I told him that Daisuke's confession of finding me attractive was forcing me to admit that while I did not think about boys sexually, neither did I think about girls that way. Worse were the images I had begun to have of me and Daisuke… doing things together, and how natural it felt. I have also been remembering suppressed dreams I've had about classmates of mine, male classmates. Maybe I've had them, but right now I cannot remember a single dream involving a female. Yesterday afternoon I hated you Daisuke because you were forcing me to face something that I've been running away from for a while now. After hearing about Takeru being attracted to guys and especially after Ken let me know that gays are not some kind of horrible creature I've had to change my mind considering that I might potentially be gay myself. I'm not saying that I am gay but I am questioning whether I am truly straight. Hence my change of heart and my apology; Daisuke I'm sorry for being scared of you, and I'm sorry for being scared of my own feelings and denying them, which caused me to hurt you. I'm sorry.”

 

Daisuke immediately pulled Iori into a hug placing Iori's face against his chest with him resting his chin gently on top of his head. He felt the smaller boy release a shuddered breath while at the same time his shirt became slightly wet from the tears that Iori had finally lost control of. Daisuke exchanged a worried look with Takeru “hey, hey Iori being gay's not so bad, after all people will think your always funny, a great dancer, you dress well, and know about all the great parties even if you really don't³; and even if you're straight we will always want your friendship. Therefore you have no reason to cry like this” Daisuke comforted.

 

“I'm sorry its j…just that I, I was so afraid that you wouldn't forgive me, and now Hikari and Miyako will hate me too, and I would be all alone, and that frightens me more than anything. My parents leave me alone in the apartment over the dojo sometimes and if it wasn't for my neko, Mukudori, I know I would go insane with fright.4

 

Daisuke sighed and closed his eye's “I know that feeling; my parents leave me and my sister at home alone for days at a time, and Jun is never at home when they're gone so usually I have to take care of myself.” Daisuke gave Takeru a pleading look, to which he merely rolled his eye's and nodded an affirmative. “Iori I've got an idea since it's Friday, why don't you come spend the weekend with me and Take-kun at his place, we can rent movies and video games and eat lots of junk food. We'll stop by your apartment after school so you can ask your parents and pick up some cloths.”

 

Iori pulled back from Daisuke's embrace, once again in control of his emotions. “That sounds great Dai-kun” he said while trying to dry his eyes with the back of his hand.

 

“Here you can use this” Daisuke said handing him a clean napkin. “And then hurry up and eat before that stuff becomes to cold to be edible, because not to be mean or anything but you looked like shit before your confession, and only slightly better now.”

 

“Your observations on my appearance are kindly noted but unnecessary. This is what results from getting only two hours of broken sleep last night and spending the rest of the night either fighting nightmares or awake so as not to have said nightmares.”

 

“Wow, worrying like that will give you ulcers Iori-kun” Takeru chimed in teasingly.

 

“No shit, Sherlock” Iori shot back with a grin. It felt good to have things back to the way they were between the three boys. No wait, things are better than before now, between us at least. Now we have fewer secrets to hide and I don't remember the last time I was over at Takeru's or Daisuke's homes for more than an hour or two.

 

After finishing off what little they could eat of the dry, and/or soggy, utterly bland cafeteria food they spent the final few minutes of their lunch break gossiping with the rest of the table about inconsequential things. Leaving the lunch room Daisuke and Takeru were escorted to their next class by Ron and Harry5, two fullbacks from the football team that had taken it upon themselves to make sure that nothing happened to the two sports stars during school hours.

 

Iori went the other direction back towards the Junior High area with some of his friends. They were all curious about what had occurred in the lunch room and why his eyes were so red. He was about to answer them when as they turned the corner a hand to his chest stopped his advance.

 

“Just what do you think you were doing in there, huh Iori?” Hikari hissed.

 

Iori looked up into the murderous expression on Hikari's face and the disappointed one on Miyako's and backed up a few paces as his classmates drew closer around him to form a barrier between him and the group of hostile females. “I was salvaging a couple of friendships that I have come to realize mean a lot to me. After all, what right do you or I have to determine whom somebody can or cannot love and be with? I will no longer allow my personal fear and ignorance to rule my life, especially when I possibly have those same feelings myself!” Iori asserted.

 

“Fine” Hikari spat “you want to be one of those miserable, unhappy, little genetic rejects that's your choice. Just remember later when you're in a world of hurt, that you had a chance to live happily on the right side of morality and you rejected it.” With that she and her stuck-up entourage stalked back towards the upperclassman areas.

 

“Iori-kun is it true, do you really think you might be gay?” his friend Hiro enquired.

 

Iori uselessly attempted to rub away the headache the last twenty-four hours had conspired to produce between his temples. “I don't know yet guys, I'm still trying to work out my feelings myself, but yes it's possible I might be bisexual or even full blown gay; I just don't know yet.”

 

“Don't worry about it too much. After that display of bigoted, antisocial, homophobic maturity I think we all now know how not to react. I for one will support you, whichever side you decide you fall on.”

 

“Thanks guys, it helps knowing I will not be automatically shunned if I do turn out to be gay.” Unnoticed by the group was the vacancy produced by a couple of their friends leaving after Iori's admittance to questioning his sexual orientation.

 

~Later that night right before bedtime~

 

After watching several comedies and holding an unfinished Soul Caliber II tournament, the boys decided that Iori need to go to sleep before he passed out in the living room. After settling on sleeping arrangements; Iori in the middle with Daisuke and Takeru on each side to help keep any nightmares away, they brushed their teeth, used the bathroom and settled into bed for some much needed sleep.

 

“Who knew that stress and worrying could be so exhausting” Daisuke yawned.

 

“I know, just think about me, it's been over forty hours since I've gotten any descent sleep so can I please try to get some now!”

 

Takeru wrapped his arms around Iori's upper body and pulled him into a hug while Daisuke rolled over onto his stomach and placed one of his arms around Iori's waist. He then placed a gentle kiss against Iori's cheek as Takeru also kissed the top of his head, causing the youth to suddenly question the actual safety of his position.

 

“Good night Iori-kun, Take-chan” Daisuke mumbled.

 

“Good night Dai-kun, Iori-chan” Takeru answered with a sigh “and Iori-chan please relax. I promise we won't molest you in your sleep…much. Both Daisuke and I have taken a vow of celibacy until we turn sixteen. We'll do nothing more than kiss and touch anybody until we are at least that old and maybe not even then if we cannot find anybody significant enough to date long term. Therefore you have nothing to fear from us, your virtue will remain intact, at least around us.”

 

“You two are so weird sometimes” Iori whispered as he drifted off to sleep safe in the arms of his best friends. Friends who were kind enough to overlook his faults and prejudices and accept his pathetic attempts to right the wrongs he had committed against them. His last thoughts before succumbing to exhaustion were of the coming days and weeks, and what struggles and dangers might be lurking out there just waiting for a moment of carelessness. Finally he passed out and did not awaken until noon the next day when he was roused for lunch.

 

~TBC~

 

1) These are real websites and magazines. Check out XY for hot picts of gay boys having fun and hanging out, real and fictional stories told by boys who know what it's like to be different, and amazing articles about issues that affects everyone gay and straight!

2) Suteki na = attractive (sexually). BishÅnen = beautiful boy.

3) Taken from the afore mentioned XY survival guide, pg 18.

4) Neko = cat. Mukudori = starling (the bird)

5) Ron and Harry are taken out of character from OUTLAW STAR which I was watching while writing the last part of this fic. I did not even consider them possibly being the other Harry and Ron of Hogwarts fame until after I had proofread this fic the following morning.

 

 

This fic is not turning out like I originally planned it to. Daisuke and Takeru were supposed to be utterly alone against a hostile world with all their friends, family, and community out to get them. Instead I decided to make it more realistic and divide their classmates and friendships over their orientation because as you know nobody can please everybody. Some people will support the boys, some will hate them, and some don't give a flying fuck one way or the other. Iori was originally supposed to disapprove of them throughout the entire story line. Instead I'm allowing him be tortured by his fear, indecision, and confused emotions. Yeah angsty Iori, I typically have more of an affinity for emotional torture than physically destructive actions because everybody can relate to emotional trauma in some way, not everybody has experienced physical pain and suffering. To answer the unasked question some of you surely have esp. after reading some of my other fics, which I know you already have, this particular fic WILL NOT contain multiple pairings. I am trying to write an accurate portrayal of life for gay teens, with only a small amount of embellishment. On to happier news, I promise to add lemons/limes in part three, though I may have to wait until part four for the lemon considering the promise I had them make in the first chapter.

 

Word count 7,656