Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ I Love You, I Love You Not ❯ Open your Eyes ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer= enough with this already!

Teti= ookay people, this took so long because I got stuck writing 'Iris' second chapter, which just won't come out. So, for now, you will see nothing of it, until I'll get over it. The day I'll find a way out will be the day you'll see the next part. Now enjoy chapter 5 of ILYILYN! By the way, this hasn't real action in it, it's a sort of interlude, if I may call it this way, you know, introspection and stuff. The guys are guilty!

I want to finish this story as soon as possible, because it's getting tiring writing it *sighs* maybe there's some OOCness in this, but which AU hasn't it?

Song 'Open your Eyes' by Guano Apes

*I Love You, I Love You Not*

~Open your Eyes~

Matt was running blindly.

He didn't see a car coming towards him at full speed.

When he noticed it, it was too late.

The vehicle hit him and sent him to the other side of the street, not even stopping to see what damage he had provoked. Mimi, Tai and Joe were still frozen, watching horrified their friend being crashed down and not moving anymore. The moment of shock quickly faded and they hastened to see if he was all right, which they strongly doubted.

Mimi arrived there first and checked for a pulse. Luckily, there was still one, but it was slowly thinning out. She yelled for help and noticed with terror that Matt was losing blood from his head. "Matt…" she shook him " Matt, please wake up…don't…don't do this to me…to us…I know you're just joking, aren't you? You make tricks to me all the time, so you must be joking now too…" she swallowed hard, her tears flowing once again. Why wasn't he waking up?!

Meanwhile, Tai and Joe arose and fell to their knees. This was all their fault…all their fault…

"Help!!! Help!!!! Please, please help me!!!" Mimi was screaming hysteric. Trying to regain control over his body, Joe picked up his mobile phone and telephoned to the hospital, saying to hurry sending an ambulance. He then said to Mimi to not touch the blonde anymore: if his spinal cord was damaged, even a little movement could be lethal.

The three all sat near him, waiting for the aids to arrive, waiting for him to wake up, waiting for all to end

The scene was playing over and over in the mind of three shocked youths, while they were running at full speed in an hospital ambulance, arrived after few minutes Joe had phoned them. Now they were like paralysed, couldn't move, speak o even think. For the very first time in their lives, they felt completely useless. Here there was Matt, lying unconscious, and neither Tai, Joe nor Mimi could do anything to help him, except watching him and hoping everything would be okay.

Mimi was holding her best friend's pale hand, not wanting to let go. She firmly believed he could feel her touch and nothing could make her change her mind. Tai looked the ghost of himself; he, who usually was so cheerful and full of life, now had a blank look painted on his vacuous dark face. He felt responsible for Matt's accident, as well as Joe, who was just as desperate as him.

The race to the hospital last a short time which, anyway, felt like an eternity in the passengers' eyes. When they arrived the nurses prohibited them to follow Matt in the operating-theatre and made them sit down in the waiting room.

The hours went slowly by and not a word was passed between them. Mimi didn't weep anymore but, with her reddened hazelnut eyes, was staring at the wall, saying nothing at all, yet her silence spoke more than mere words. She didn't blame them for what had happened to Matt, or at least this was what she wanted to believe and to make Tai and Joe believe. Under this façade laid hidden a pang of anger, that, with the hurt and the distress, was growing into a feeling of hatred and rancour which were wearing her heart away, slowly but continuously. Matt was her only family and if he too slipped away from her, she didn't know what she would do…

Mimi's unconscious coldness was very apparent to the two guys, even though she hadn't realized it yet. Just the lack of words was unusual in her and this, added to Matt's accident, spoke clearly. She believed rightly it was their fault and the two couldn't blame her. They both believed it too. My fault, my fault, all my fault, both mused numbly, sinking in a deep net of anguish and guilt. No one exchanged a word in the next never ending minutes, where silence, fear and bewilderment ruled undisturbed, playing with their minds.

It was all so surreal, so unnatural. Like a drama seen in a theatre, where you just watch and maybe, just maybe, you feel saddened, but you're grateful it's only fiction, nothing real. Like those tragedies where thousand of people die due to a natural cataclysm but you don't feel particularly touched by it, because it is just a number, you know none of the deceased, you do not suffer for a loss. Or like those incurable illnesses you do not pay much attention to but pray to yourself to never get or see on your beloved's faces.

As watching something distant, it was what Tai, Mimi and Joe felt during those marking moments, moments, which would forge them for the rest of their now seemingly useless lives.

Tai sighed, not standing the pressure anymore, and stood up, trying to lessen the heavy burden of pain he was carrying on his not used to shoulders. Never had he felt such loneliness, such aridity and desolation in his usually cheerful heart. He felt lost in a winter snow storm, completely alone and abandoned by everything and everyone. Never had he loathed himself like that before, regretting every stolen look, every longed smile, touch or kiss. Never had he wanted to turn back time and settle whatever wrong thing he had committed to deserve such a punishment. Or maybe, maybe this was all a prank, yeah, it had to, Joe wanted to make him pay, so he had organized this and Matt and Mimi knew about it all time long! It had to…

No, he crushed, it was not a trick behind his back, he had to face to truth, deal with it once, not run away and hide like he always did. There, he had the solution: if Matt ever made it, he *will* made it, you dumbass, he would have let him go. Now and forever.

Joe didn't miss the flicker of distress in his companion's troubled eyes, for he was suffering the sme grief. There lay the one person he cherished the most in the whole world, cold, dieing, that one person he swore to protect till the end of time, but yet couldn't even same from a stupid, stupid accident. It was not Matt that had to suffer, he did no deserve to suffer! Only he, Joe, only he was to blame…it should have been him…to lie down in the hospital…maybe for the last time. Suddenly he remembered when Matt confided him that he loathed hospitals; the blue haired man smiled at the thought, but that trace of brightness soon left his face as soon as reality again kicked in. No, he shook his head vigorously, not loathed, loathes, present tense, present tense! Matt was still alive, wasn't he, wasn't he? He was…he was…he is…

The three boys waited patiently the doctor to come out, to finally renew their hopes or crash them, waiting for anything expect for the silence and the ignorance. They felt so little, everything they knew before now had no more a sense. Why bother learning, studying and working, why bother trying to find new ways to live comfortably, if, in the 21st century, even a car accident could throw away their existences? Why, in the age when everything was so advanced and perfectly 'safe', then why still was death like this? Why did men feel so powerful?

Unconsciously Mimi was rocking on her chair, while tears began rolling fast down her face, staring dumbly at the room Matt had entered yet still not gone out from. She wasn't thinking anymore, just kept on repeat that Matt was fine, yeah, he was the strongest boy she had ever know, he could make it, had to make it…he didn't have the right the leave her alone like that…

*~*~*~*~*

Tai sighed. It had almost been two hours since their arrival at the hospital, but there still were no news about the blond. His heart had lost all the hope and now was waiting just for the final blow to finally crash. Leaning against a wall, he watched carefully his companions and felt his chest tightening once more. He had caused their grief and they would never be able to forgive him if…if…The brunette could not finish the sentence, the pain was too much to bear.

Eyeing absent-mindedly the green door that held their breaths he noticed that the red light above had turned to the same colour of the door below. Green. Never he had felt happier to see that shade of colour, never in his life, for he disliked it. Now, he thanked everyone who had invented it. Carried in his own train of thoughts, he barely perceived the doctors entering the waiting room, before going and crush them down, to get the answers that were tearing him, and them, apart.

The surgeon, after almost being knocked out by an unstoppable Taichi Kamiya, calmly told the 'guests' to sit down. They all paled. The old man took a deep breath and informed them about Matt's welfare state.

"I am not going to lie to you, kids. Your friend was in a very, very dangerous state. We believed we would have lost him, but, surprisingly, he made it. He is a very strong person" the doctor said, smiling sweetly, then turned serious again "The problem is, he hit his head badly when he fell on the asphalt. He had several ribs broken, plus many bruises all over his body and his right knee got crashed by the collision with the vehicle" Mimi gasped and broke down, hearing about how much Matt had suffered; Joe, yet, felt this was only the minimum damage and an horrible thought was floating in his mind.

"But? There must be something else, sir" he told the surgeon. The said man sighed and continued

"But these were only the minor injuries. When he hit his head he got a severe concussion…he may be in an irreversible coma and we don't know if he will ever wake up" he concluded, feeling a lump in his throat. He too had lost a son in a car accident and had sworn to himself he wouldn't allow other people feel the pain he had endured.

Tai, Mimi and Joe had a blank, numb look written all over their young faces. Coma? How was that possible? How could someone be in a coma for a little hit? Denial and anguish swept in their eyes, so bright, yet so empty. Mimi was the first to recover.

"When might we visit him?" she asked so quietly that the doctor nearly didn't hear her whisper. He did, and told her they could go see Matt the day after, for he had to rest, due to the extremely delicate surgery he had just faced. She nodded slowly, then asked if they had any available room for her for the night: she didn't want to leave her blond friend, even for a few hours. The man was going to deny but, seeing the desperate look she wore, accomplished her little request with a twinkle in his grey eyes. He told her there was a brand new free one, with enough room for only one person though. She agreed quickly, and Tai and Joe didn't even quarrel for its possession: they both knew Mimi had to be in it, she deserved it much more than them. Wishing her goodnight, they quietly left and headed for the University.

No one said a word, fearing the angry reaction of the other; they both blamed themselves for what had happened and both believed to deserve to be treated coldly. They reached their room, Tai, Joe and Matt's, and sat in the kitchen. The two stayed still for another whole hour, then Tai, too tired to even think, went to bed, still saying nothing. He didn't sleep, yet, just gazed off, not really paying attention to the other one in the apartment. He remained that way until darkness finally claimed him and he fell in a restless and troubled sleep. The same couldn't be said for they older boy. Actually, he did fall asleep a few times, but it didn't last more than 10 minutes. The pale and unseeing face that belonged to Matt always came to haunt him, and he'd awake with a muffled cry.

The morning arrived soon and the empty shells of the two boys got up from wherever they'd been resting to face a new, hard day. Still there were no words. And the tension between them was getting unbearable. They quickly showered and dressed, then departed to the hospital. Both, yet not together. When they arrived, which was still early for everyone else, there was an odd stillness. It sounded so unreal, so fabulous, and they wondered if they were still dreaming. Shrugging the weird feeling, they went to the reception to see in which room Matt was resting. The confusion of the previous night hadn't reminded them of this little detail. Once they knew, they headed straight off. There were so many corridors, stairs, room…it felt like they were in a labyrinth, with no way out. Finally they reached their more-than-a-friend's room. Before entering, they peeped up, to check in there was anyone. There was. Mimi. Sitting on a chair next to the bed, holding Matt's hand like there were no tomorrow, afraid he might possibly slip away from her. Barely hearing the door moving, she turned her head to greet the two she held responsible for the tragedy, with a cold nod.

"Any improvement?" asked Tai. Mimi shrugged. Tai dropped his eyes. Joe felt a pang in his heart watching the tiredness in Mimi's amber orbs, but felt completely crashed when he looked at Matt. Dull was the only word that fitted him. The blond man looked so small, in that white and light blue bed, with the IV attached to his left arm and a mask to his reddened mouth, to help him breathe. Breathe. Something everyone took for granted, yet he had to be helped to perform. His skin was paler than usual, a ghostly-grey shade of colour and his cheeks were hollow. If not for the light rising of his chest, he'd been rightly mistaken for a lifeless body.

Tai gasped, seeing only now the state Matt was in, then broke down, for it was too much, even for him. Joe and Mimi stared, stunned, at him while he wept his heart out. Tai had *never* let a single tear fall, for all they've known. Yet here he was, crying like a little lost child, which he felt like. Surprisingly, Mimi rose from her chair and hugged him tightly, not speaking, just letting him know she felt the same grief and they'd have to face it together. Tai relaxed in her embrace and wept on her shoulders. Trembling, Joe posed an hand on his arm, letting the sorrow wash over him , watching Mimi in the eyes, while his own were too watering. She smiled at him warmly and all of them remained still for a seemingly endless time, all of them united by an only pain, all of them trying to help each other. In a silent agreement, they had forgiven themselves and now stood unite for Matt, whose only guilt was being too caring, gorgeous and amazing. When Tai had calmed, they let go and he excused himself for being such a child, wiping his tears off. He got no answers, but he knew they fully understood him and supported him. He grinned in his usual cocky manner and they smiled back.

A small moan behind them caught their attention and they turned quickly to Matt, bewildered. Maybe there was some hope, maybe there was…some minutes went by slowly, but they didn't even notice it, too busy watching carefully every sign of life Matt might give. Nothing. But that moan, they had heard it, they were positive, it wasn't their imagination. Matt had moaned. Matt could make it.

*~*~*~*~*

One week had passed and there still were no improvements. The hope the guys had gained with that little moan had nearly vanished, if there wasn't Mimi to remind them. She was the hope itself, always ready to help with a nice word, a laughter, or even with just a smile. She had forgiven them wholly, and she was sincere. The forgiveness came straight from her heart and the two bys were truly grateful for it. They, yet, had not completely forgiven themselves yet, especially where they were alone with Matt or at night. They didn't feel as miserable as the first days, but still there was guilt and spite towards themselves. And they still kept the decision to let Matt go, has hard as it might seem. Now, if only he would wake up.

Everyday they would go in his room and talk to him, telling him jokes, gossips, or simply chatting with him about everything and nothing at all, firmly convinced he could hear them,

At the beginning of the second week in the hospital, the situation was the same. No improvements nor worsening. Like the time hadn't passed. One afternoon, as usual, they were all in the room, Tai and Joe reading some magazines and Mimi chatting cheerfully about this hot guy she had once seen at the mall.

"Hotter than me?" asked a small, husky voice. The world froze. Tai, Mimi and Joe run to Matt. He wasn't moving, but he had spoken, he *had* spoken!

"Matt?" said Tai. No answers. "Matt?" still no answers.

"Matt? Come on man, I know you can hear us, come on, please open your eyes, Matt, please!" he nearly cried.

And open his eyes Matt did.

*tsuzuku*

Teti: I know, only almost two week is few for an irreversible coma, but bear with me. My, this chapter was hard. I'll write the, finally, LAST PART tomorrow, or at least I'll start. But this doesn't mean I'll post it tomorrow, nay, first you have to send me some feedback *grins* the more I get, the sooner you get, gotcha? I know, I'm a bitch >:) and damn proud of it too!