Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ If I Should Die... ❯ Perfect Dream ( Chapter 1 )

<^><^><^><^><^><^>& lt;^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>< ^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><IF I SHOULD DIE CHAPTER 1 - PERFECT DREAM

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DISCLAIMER: Just playing the sand-pit that is Digimon. None of it belongs to me, not even one grain of sand. I will return everything to the owners when I'm done, including buckets and spades, although I might keep Matt and Tai a little longer… Joke! This is a piece of fan work, by the fans for the fans and no money what-so-ever has exchanged hands during its production.

A/N: First part in a hopefully long-ish Taito series, it might seem straight-forward at first, but let me tell you it gets a lot more confusing as the parts go on… Yaoi/Yuri warning, plenty of Shounen-ai and shoujen-ai. Lots of angst, and inspired slightly by a famous manga that you either love or hate… By the end of part one, you'll have figured it out, but… it will turn out a lot different by the end of the series, trust me.

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It had been one year exactly since their defeat of Arukenimon and Mummymon… and while things had sort of returned to normal, things hadn't totally.

The kids were kind of feeling out of place now… Miyako, Daisuke, Iori, Hikari, Takeru and Ken had finally reached the Elementary school.

Taichi, Yamato, Mimi, Koushiro and Jyou were in college now; Sora was taking night-classes at the college and was taking care of her mother's business after her mother had become critically ill. Sora still put a cheerful face on everything, although the stress was wearing the auburn-haired girl down gradually. Koushiro, as expected, was majoring in computer science - he taught the computer programming night classes at the Elementary school too. Jyou had finally decided to follow his dreams and was studying Meta Physics, like he'd always wanted to. Mimi had opted for Sociology. Taichi had gone for, almost surprisingly, graphical design and art. Yamato was majoring in music, not surprisingly, and touring with the Teen-age Wolves in his spare time. Since the other members of the band also went to the same college and were doing the same course, this caused no problems.

After a few phone conversations, Taichi had decided to hold a re-union for the digi-destined at his new apartment. He had a part-time job designing covers for books, which worked out fine with him, and meant he could finally afford his own place, earn a comfortable living and still have time for college.

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"Hi Miyako, it's Taichi here." The brunette tapped his foot. "Is Hikari there? Yeah… Well, I was wondering, would you like to come to my place - we're having a re-union of the digi-destined… Yeah, tonight, at eight, I know it's short notice… Uh-huh… OK, I'll wait… Hey Hikari! You never visit any more! … Sure I clean my clothes… Duh… You can both come… Cool… Bring some drinks if you want, I'm too lazy… Pizza, I'll order it when everyone's here… OK!!! Bye imoutochan… Ah-huh… Bye… See you both then!"

Taichi smiled as he put down the phone. He'd had three people left to invite… he crossed Miyako and Hikari off the list, and blinked down at the last name. Everyone had said they could come so far. Taichi only hope Yamato didn't have band practice. Unsteadily, Taichi lifted the receiver and punched in the number.

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"Hang on, I'm coming!"

Yamato scowled as he tripped over his laundry and landed in a pile on the floor. Glaring murderously at the phone, he scrambled over and lifted the receiver.

"Yeah, who is it?" Yamato barked out.

"Woah, did I catch you at a bad time?"

Yamato blinked at the sound of Taichi's voice. "Uhh… no, it's OK, I was just sorting out the laundry."

"Sounds like you tripped over it," Taichi said, his voice crackling a bit on the phone line. "Look I can't talk for long. Are you doing anything tonight?"

"No…" Yamato said, raising an eyebrow in confusion then realising Taichi couldn't see his confused expression. "Akira had to cancel practice, his uncle's taken sick."

"Oh man, that's bad," Taichi commented. "We're having a whole digi-destined re-union thingie at my apartment at eight o' clock. Wondered if you wanted to come."

"Will Takeru be there?" Yamato asked, fingering the cord.

"Yeah, he's coming with Iori," Taichi said, laughing.

"Ah," Yamato said simply, shrugging. "OK, yeah sure, I'll be there. Do you need me to bring anything?"
"Well I'm ordering pizzas, but if you want to bring anything, go ahead," Taichi said after a short pause.

"I'll bring some kind of dessert, OK?" Yamato stated, not a question really.

"Cool! I love your desserts!"

"You mean your stomach loves my desserts," Yamato remarked dryly.

"Whatever, man," Taichi replied gruffly. "Uhh… I'll see you there… Bye…"

Without waiting for a response, Taichi put the receiver down. Yamato stared at the receiver as the tone buzzed indicating the call was finished. Shrugging, he took a few deep breaths to control himself, then turned down to deal with the mess on the floor.

He picked up most of the clothes and shoved them back into the basket, then picked up the basket to carry it to his room, when the basket tumbled out of his hands. Yamato just stared at the basket, before crumpling down on the floor, shaking.

"How does he do this to me?" He wondered, lowering his head and letting, for just this once, tears spills from his eyes onto the floor below.

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Oh man.

Two minutes to eight.

They'd all said they were coming, so where were they?

Taichi shifted impatiently, making sure for the last time there were enough seats (he'd borrowed some from his parents just for the night) and that the number for the pizzas was handy.

At exactly eight o' clock there was a knock on the door.

Finally.

Taichi scooted to the door, and opened it to find everyone there crowded in front of the door.

"Wh- hi!" He blurted out, spying his sister in the front, holding a bottle of wine and looking shyly at her older brother while she adjusted the short black dress she was wearing. Taichi smiled softly.

"We thought we'd surprise you by coming all at once. You didn't think we were not coming, did you?" Hikari asked, tipping Taichi a wink.

"No, of course not," Taichi lied quickly, hugging his sister and indicating for the rest to come in.

"Nice place you got here," Sora said, grinning cheekily at Taichi, echoing the words she'd spoken in the digital world.

"It's nice and big," Iori commented, hanging on to Takeru's arm. Thankfully, the shorter kid had finally grown to match his age, and was actually just one inch shorter than Takeru. The two had begun dating about eight months ago.

"Nice colour too," Takeru added, noting the red.

"You coulda done it pink, yanno," Mimi added, sneaking behind Sora and hugging the auburn-haired girl tightly. "Coz Sora's gonna blend in with the walls," she added, referring to the calf-length red Spanish number the tall girl was sporting.

"As if," Taichi said sarcastically to the pink-haired girl.

Daisuke and Ken tried to creep in, nonchalantly holding hands, but the others saw this.

"You're holding hands! I knew it!" Koushiro exclaimed, squeezing Jyou's slightly.

"Yeah we are, does anyone have a problem with that?" Daisuke finally challenged.

"I do," Takeru volunteered, planting a kiss on Iori's cheek. "You're gay and I have a problem with that."

Daisuke looked like he was going to explode with anger until Ken started softly laughing at Takeru. Daisuke's face turned red and he cracked a smile.

"Yeah, that's funny, Takaishi," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Is it me or are we all gay?" Mimi wondered.

"Nope, I'm bi," Sora responded lightly, wrapping her arms round Mimi.

"Ha, ha," Mimi responded.

"Oh man, this is going to turn into a big mush-fest is it?" A sarcastic voice drawled out, as the last person came in and shut the door.

"Yep, Yamato," Miyako said. "Sorry."

For a moment Taichi looked at Yamato apologetically. "Sorry, didn't know they'd get like this," he apologised. "You could have brought a date if you'd wanted."

Yamato blinked, the blushed.

"He's not dating anyone at the moment," Takeru said, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

There was a small, awkward silence as the blonde blushed, then Taichi broke it.

"OK, OK, everyone. I'll take your coats."

The brunette quickly collected a pile of coats, and started to stagger to his room to deposit the coats. Ignoring the others, Yamato stepped forwards and took half of them.

"Thanks man," Taichi said gruffly. "Hikari, will you sort out some music?"

"Yep, sure," she said, leading Miyako to Taichi's hi-fi system and pile of CD's.

Yamato followed Taichi as the brunette kicked one of the doors open and walked forwards. Blinking at the darkness, Yamato reached out one precarious hand to flick on the light switch.

"Don't do that -" was about all Taichi could get out as the blonde flicked the switch. Sighing in disgust, the brunette dropped the coats on his bed, and stepped aside to let Yamato do the same.

"Oh my god, Taichi, this is awesome!" The blonde stuttered out. Taichi blushed, and fidgeted. All over the wall were paintings of all the digi-destined as they had been last year, with their respective digimon in their rookie forms, and in the very background were paler paintings, almost like watermarks, of the other digi-volutions and their crests.

"The coats go over here," Taichi said dully. Yamato nodded dumbly, and dropped the coats on the bed, noticing that there was no picture of Taichi - instead there was on one wall all of Agumon's digi-volutions.

"Is it OK if we put on one of Mimi-s CDs… Ho-ly… Taichi, did you do this?"

Taichi turned and flushed to see his sister in the doorway, holding out a blue-coloured CD.

"Yeah…" he admitted finally.

"Wow! I knew you were good, but… Woah…" Hikari blinked, then smiled. "Everyone! Come in here! There's something you must see!"

"What is it?" Miyako was the first to come in, and she moved to hold her girlfriend.

"Look," said Hikari, her voice thick with emotions at the sight. The door filled with people, and they crowded into the room. There was a small silence as they stared in awe at the mural on Taichi's walls.

"This is all your fault, yanno," Taichi murmured to Yamato. "I distinctly remember saying 'don't do that' but you did."

"I'm glad I did," Yamato said, his gaze lighting upon his. "Wow, you even got my hair right."

"Jeez, do you know how impossible your hair is to draw? It took me ages to get it right!" Taichi said huffily. Yamato blinked, then smiled.

"This is all amazing," Mimi said, smiling as she saw the only two humans stood together - her and Sora.

"This is cool, man!" Daisuke exclaimed, lighting upon Ken's painting and grinning.

"Yeah, you're gonna kick some ass at Uni with this type of work!" Iori said, smiling and squeezing Takeru's hand gently. Taichi shrugged, and coughed nervously.

"Oh man, now Koushiro's gonna be staring at Tentamon all night!" Jyou complained, grinning as he saw the red-head's eyes filling up at the sight of the red and green mechanical bug.

"Aw, don't cry on me guys," Taichi said. "Come on, I've go to order the food, and if you don't want anchovies with everything, then you'll have to come and choose."

"Oh, I suppose we have to go," Ken said softly.

"It'll still be here tomorrow, you know you can visit any time," Taichi said stiffly. Heading out of the room, and most of them followed him back to the main room.

"Can I put on Mimi's CD on then?" Hikari prompted, staring at her brother in a new light, as if discovering he actually had a sensitive side for the first time.

"As long as it's not Backstreet Boys," Taichi grunted.

"It's Savage Garden," Sora said. "Our fave CD."

"Our?" Taichi prompted, raising an eyebrow.

"Mine, Miyako's, Sora's, Mimi's, Ken's, Daisuke's, Takeru's and Iori's," Hikari said, doing her best puppy dog face which normally won her older brother over.

"Yeah, OK, if those guys like it," Taichi agreed, nodding. Hikari squealed and put the CD in.

"Maybe we should make this more interesting," Mimi suggested after Taichi phoned the orders in. "After we've eaten… we should each sing a song."

Everyone groaned slightly.

"I like the idea," Takeru said, then whispered something in Iori's ear. The black-haired boy sniggered, then blushed.

"As long as you guys don't mind that I can't sing, sure," Daisuke agreed.

"If Daisuke is, I will," Ken said quickly, smiling at the burgundy-haired boy. "Same warning applies though."

"We're in agreement?" Sora prompted. Everyone in the room nodded.

"Oh great," Jyou moaned. "I have to sing and my boyfriend is entranced by a painting of Tentamon."

"Ooops," Taichi said. "Well, everyone has to do this, is everyone here?"

"Nope, onii-chan's in there with Koushiro, probably staring at Gabumon," Takeru piped up.

"I'll go inform them what they have to do," Taichi said, getting up quickly and putting the pizza menu back in the box.

He entered his bedroom again to see Koushiro smiling softly at the Jyou picture.

"This is good," he murmured softly to Taichi.

"If I were you I'd get my butt in there where the real 3D one is who's all yours," Taichi said, grinning.

Koushiro blinked, then grinned. "Is he mad at me?"

"Well, actually, at the mo he's jealous at Tentamon - he thought you were in here staring at him," Taichi explained, smiling at his friend. The red-head blinked, nodded, and then quickly left.

The brunette found himself smiling, then looked up to see Yamato on his bed looking through a small book. Yamato's head flew up and he saw Taichi looking at him accusingly.

"Sorry for nosing around -" Yamato began, but Taichi silenced him.

"Nah, it's OK, I did leave it hanging around," Taichi said, smiling, then sitting down next to Yamato.

"These are really good, I can't believe none of us knew you could draw this well," Yamato said, then paused as he turned one of the pages of the sketchbook and cameface to face with a pencil sketch of a certain event… "Taichi…" he breathed. "This was…"

"After Seadramon attacked for the first time, and you, Gabumon, Patamon and Takeru were sat together and you were playing the harmonica," Taichi said, nodding. "I guess that scene has never got out of head - I've never seen you two more happy."

"Hmmm," Yamato said, nodding, looking at the picture wistfully before flicking through. "So what are you going to do? Be a professional artist?"

"Yep," Taichi said.

"You decorated any other rooms, or just this one?" Yamato asked, placing the book on the bedside table.

"I'm in the middle of doing the other bedroom," Taichi admitted. "I only have the pencil sketches up, but it's a little different to this room…"
"Can I see it?" Yamato said, pouting. "You've been to some of my concerts so it's only fair you let me see your art work."

"I don't know how you figured that one out," Taichi laughed, getting to his feet. "Come on, but I don't really want anyone else to see just yet."

"OK," Yamato agreed. The blonde followed the brunette, curious about this other room.

It was slightly larger than Taichi's bedroom, but empty apart from a drawing table and a lot of stationary and art equipment in the middle of the room. Three of the walls were literally covered in huge sketches. Yamato gasped as he realised what the pictures were.

"It's… Hikari and Miyako… Iori and Takeru… Jyou and Koushiro… Sora and Mimi… Wow, they're cool," Yamato breathed.

"Thanks… they're kinda of… a dedication to… to them. Yanno, since the law means they can't get married or anything," Taichi murmured, embarrassed. "Oh. Man, it means I can do Daisuke and Ken now. I saved part of the last wall for them."
"Oh," Yamato said, nodding. "They'll go nuts over this, Taichi, I'm sure."

"I know, that's why I really want them to see it later on tonight, not now," Taichi said, nodding.

"Why don't you start Daisuke and Ken now?" Yamato asked.

"I don't know.. I want to… We're supposed to be having a re-union here…" Taichi blinked. "Coz we haven't exactly seen much of each other recently."

"You have a point there," Yamato said, shuffling.

"Oh man, I'm not going to be able to go back until I've done this sketch now, thanks Yamato!" Taichi sighed, and picked up one of the pencils. "You can go back to the others and tell them I'm unavailable if you want."

"Nah, I think I'll just watch, if that's OK with you," Yamato said, shrugging, sitting down on the floor and leaning against the table leg.

Taichi turned and raised a questioning eyebrow at the blonde, then shrugged.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," he said, trying to ignore his heart, beating erratically against his ribs.

Yamato rested his head on his knee as he looked up as Taichi quickly and rapidly began sketching. He was fast, very fast. It must have taken him only five minutes to get the sketch done.

"Wow, you're fast!" Yamato commented, hugging his knees as he rested his head on them, looking up at his the artist, former bearer of courage and best friend.

"Yeah…" Taichi said, then blinked, looking at Yamato then at the rest of the wall. "Stay there for a minute… like that…" Taichi said thoughtfully, moving to shield the wall while he sketched furiously on it, glancing back occasionally for a few references.

"Taichi, what are you doing?" Yamato said, confused.

"Juststaythere," Taichi said, grunting, then slammed down the pencil. "There. It's a bit weird but I dunno what came over me."

Yamato got to his feet and blinked at the picture. It was him… as an angel.

"Wow, Taichi, that's really cool… Do you think… I mean…" Yamato stuttered nervously.

"What?"

"Could you do me a small picture of Takeru and Iori as angels? I'll pay you… It's just I have no idea what to get him for his birthday… And he'd love that… I understand if you don't want to or don't have time…" Yamato looked at Taichi nervously while fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt.

"I'd be honoured to," Taichi said warmly. "And don't even think about payment… you could always get me dinner one night… Watch a game or something."

"Uh… sure… thanks, Taichi, I'd like that," Yamato said warmly.

"Come on, they'll start to wonder what's going on…" Taichi said, moving to leave. Yamato grabbed his arm quickly.

"Uhh… just give me ten minutes in here alone will you?" Yamato asked nervously.

"Why?" Taichi sounded suspicious.

"I just wanna… well, it'll be a surprise," Yamato said quietly. Taichi shrugged, and then smiled at his friend.

"Sure, just don't ruin any of it," Taichi said, grinning; then he left the room, quietly shutting the door. Yamato stared thoughtfully at his retreating back, and then picked up one of the pencils, looking thoughtfully at the last blank space of wall.

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"Where's onii-chan?" Takeru asked as Taichi entered the room, shrugging at the light pop music which buzzed in the background.

"He's… doing something for me," he said, shrugging again, and sitting down in the last empty chair. "Uh, what happened to the other chair?"

"It's kinda funny actually," Daisuke said, laughing. "Koushiro sat down in it, and it collapsed."

"Oh man, I'm sorry Koushiro," Taichi apologised.

"Don't be, it wasn't your fault," Koushiro said, hugging Jyou tightly.

"So when are the pizzas getting here?" Hikari asked, pulling a face and pretending to die of hunger.

Taichi checked his watch. "They said by half past - so in ten minutes."
"Awww man, I don't think I can wait that long," Miyako groaned. "Not like I'm hungry, it's just when Hikari's hungry it's hell!"

"Hey!" Hikari protested.

"I can relate to that!" Taichi responded, giggling. For the next ten minutes the CD played on while they made light catch-up conversation. For people who lived in the same town, they sure had a lot to catch up on, seeing as they barely saw each other any more.

Yamato made it back into the room nine minutes later, with a streak of grey across his forehead.

"Yamato, what did you do to yourself?" Takeru asked, laughing quietly at his brother. Yamato blinked, confused.

"You've got pencil on your forehead," Sora said, giggling, leaning against Mimi as they both giggled at the sight. The blonde rolled his eyes to the ceiling and wiped the pencil off with his sleeve.

"Can I see it now?" Taichi asked. Everyone turned to stare at Taichi.

"See what?" Ken asked, curiously.

"Uhhh… you'll see later, I promise," Taichi said hurriedly. "If the pizza comes, the money for it and the tip is in that jar near the door, OK?"
"OK," Koushiro said. "I'll make sure Daisuke doesn't walk off with the money."
"Never crossed my mind!" Daisuke protested, laughing.

Yamato blinked as Taichi grabbed his hand and led him out of the room to the spare bedroom. Curious, Taichi peeked around the corner then walked in to look at the new sketch on the wall, and he burst out laughing.

"Kami-sama, Yama, that's perfect!" Taichi giggled, grinning inanely at his best friend. "It's so good too, why aren't you taking art?"

"I don't know," Yamato replied, embarrassed. The picture Yamato had drawn was of Taichi, leaning against the door with a serious expression and his notebook out, doodling something.

"That's cool," Taichi said enthusiastically. "You even got my hair right!"
"That was easy, I just remembered what a privet bush looked like," Yamato smirked. Taichi narrowed his eyes and gently walloped his friend in the side.

"Thanks," he commented gruffly. They both turned as the doorbell went. "Pizza's here," Taichi added, seeing Yamato's slightly confused expression.

"Ah, then let's go, I'm starving," Yamato flashed a grin at his friend, and turned to leave, but Taichi reached out a hand to grab his arm. Yamato blinked unsteadily at the brunette.

"You are good, Yamato," he mumbled, looking at the floor, then raising his head again. "Uh… if you're not doing anything one day, would you… I mean… come help me paint this? Coz I'll never get it finished by Christmas on my own, and that's when I'd want it finished for them, I mean, it's not like you have to, just it'd be nice if -"

"I'd love to," Yamato interrupted Taichi's babbling, smiling softly, and then laughing gently. Taichi let go of Yamato's arm, embarrassed.

"Uh… cool. Thanks," Taichi said. "Sorry about the babbling, yanno I do that a lot."

"Yup," Yamato sighed, dramatically, and Taichi's eyes narrowed.

"C'mon, let's get some food," Taichi said, embarrassed still, but smiling.

"I'm starved," Yamato said, opening the door then quickly flipping off the light switch and pulling Taichi out as he noticed Hikari and Miyako standing in the corridor, hoping for a peek.

"Not till Christmas, Yagami Hikari," Taichi warned.

"That long?" Hikari squeaked.

"No fair!" Miyako added.

Yamato laughed at the purple-haired girl's outburst which sounded totally unlike the normally serious girl.

"COME ON YOU GUYS PIZZA'S READY AND OUT ON THE PLATES!" Takeru yelled through.

"Coming," Hikari called, and Miyako snorted in laughter, which immediately stopped when the brunette glared at her girlfriend, annoyed.

Taichi and Yamato exchanged a glance and burst out laughing.

The next three hours were filled with eating the pizzas and telling jokes, trying Yamato's chocolate and lime dessert, and, mostly, getting slightly drunk as they exchanged stories about what had happened over the last year. The funniest story was from Daisuke and Ken, telling how they had, finally, got together - it involved a keg of beer, a goat, an exotic dancer, a hated instructor and a whole string of mistaken identities - and was the funniest thing that any of them had ever, really, heard before.

"Yanno, we should get together like this more often," Koushiro said, smiling softly.

"Yeah, but next time at someone else's apartment," Taichi said, grimacing at the mess.

"Yeah, well there's twelve of us, and twelve months… maybe we should make it, like, a monthly occurrence… we each take turns," Mimi suggested.

"I like that idea," Iori said.

"So do I," Takeru said, instantly agreeing with his boyfriend as he always did.

The rest of the digi-destined agreed, and arranged for it to be at Yamato's apartment next month on the twentieth, saying that dates were definitely allowed (a lot of stares were directed at Yamato and Taichi at this part of the agreement.)

"Oh man, it's midnight, I'd better get home, I have exams tomorrow!" Jyou exclaimed, getting to his feet. "It's been great seeing you all again."
"I'd better go too," Koushiro said. "Exams too."
"Me too," Mimi groaned.

"I don't," Taichi laughed. "Coz you don't have them in graphical art, and the art course hasn't started yet."

"Really?" Yamato asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not too late for you to join, I know you're only taking the one course, so…" Taichi left the statement open, and Yamato shrugged.

"I might just do that…" The blonde said, tilting his head to one side.

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Most of the others left about an hour later. Taichi was pretty relieved that they'd forgotten about the singing already! Sighing, he dropped to the floor and looked at the mess, definitely happy that Hikari had promised to drop by tomorrow with Miyako to help clean up. The brunette yawned, stood up, and went off to turn off the hi-fi, which was still playing the music gently and noticed Mimi had left her CD there. Shrugging, he put it on to play again and collapsed on a seat to listen to it play through again for a while.

Getting to his feet when a few of the songs had played again, he ate the last slice of (cold) pizza and walked through to the spare bedroom to stare fondly at the picture Yamato had drawn of him. Then he sighed, knowing that he could never tell the blonde how he felt… He had to move on, and he knew it…

He closed the door gently and staggered off to bed.

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Taichi groaned as his alarm clock went off, and he staggered to his feet, groaning as his hangover kicked in from the alcohol last night. Then the phone started ringing insistently.

"Oh man!" Taichi exclaimed, staggered to the phone and lifted it up. "Moshi-moshi?"

"Hi Taichi," a male voice floated over the line.

Taichi blinked. "Takashi? Hi!"

"Hi Taichi, uh, I was just wondering… are you doing anything special for lunch… uh… yeah…"

Taichi blinked as Takashi stuttered slightly, then realisation dawned.

"Are you asking me out?" Taichi asked, a faint sound of humour in his voice.

"Uh… not if you…uh… yeah, I 'spose I am…"

Taichi shook his head, laughing gently. He liked the black-haired boy from his graphics course, and he really did need to get on with his life…

"What do you suggest?" Taichi said, playing with the phone cable.

"You mean you want to? Cool… Uh, do you wanna go to the pub? I'm paying," Takashi said, his tone more confident.

"Sure! It's a date!" Taichi said, smiling.

"OK, bye, see you at class!" Takashi said.

Taichi smiled, and put down the receiver. He did need to get on with his life. Maybe Takashi was the way to do this.

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"Yamato, what are you doing?" Taichi looked up from painting in Hikari's hair in the guest bedroom to see Yamato with a pencil adjusting his sketch of Taichi.

The blonde had joined his art class a week ago, when it had started, and was settling in perfectly.

"I'm just… Wait a second!" The blonde exclaimed. "There! Finished!"

"What have you - oh man! Yamato!" Taichi exclaimed, grinning at the addition to the picture of the brunette - a small cute little plushie of Takashi. "He'll love it!"

"Love what?" Floated a voice thorugh the door.

"Takashi!" Taichi grinned. Yamato rolled his eyes. "Come on!"
The raven-haired boy opened the door cautiously and peered at the wall in interest as Taichi showed him around the room.

"Hello Yamato, what are you doing here?" Takashi asked politely, his eyes showing he really didn't like Yamato. Yamato shrugged.

"I was just helping my friend… Besides, I'm painting my brother," he explained, indicating the painting of the blonde next to his boyfriend Iori.

"You're Takeru's brother? Wow, my little brother knows him and Iori!" Takashi exclaimed.

"See what Yamato drew!" Taichi said, pulling his boyfriend over to the corner where the picture of Taichi was. Takashi saw the little plushie drawing and broke out into giggles.

"Thanks Ishida," Takashi said, smiling and holding Taichi to his side. Taichi turned and kissed the black-haired boy lingeringly. Yamato groaned.

"If you're going to get mushy can you do it in a different room?" Yamato asked, hiding a smile.

"Sorry," Taichi apologised, pulling away, then staring at the picture of Yamato he'd drawn. "What the heck have you done to this?!"

Yamato smirked. He'd changed the picture of himself slightly so that he was squashing a little plushie of Takeru.

The three boys exchanged a glance and burst out into giggles.

"Man, Takeru's gonna kill you!" Taichi exclaimed, laughing, leaning against his boyfriend for support.

"I hope not," Yamato said, then exchanged a glance with Taichi and burst out into more laughter.

"Hope, man, that's a good one," Taichi sighed.

"What's so funny about that?" Takashi asked.

"Hope was his… uh… well, kind of a nickname I suppose when we were little," Yamato exclaimed, trying to put it as delicately as possible.

"We all had those kind of nicknames and our own… uhhh… symbols…" Taichi added. "I was courage."

"And what were you?" Takashi asked, curious.

"Friendship," Yamato stated.

"How long have you guys known each other?" Takashi asked, frowning slightly.

"We went to the same school when we were about eight… but known each other properly since we were eleven at summer camp," Taichi explained. "That's where I met Takeru, Sora, Mimi, Koushiro and Jyou as well."

"They're part of this nickname group then too?" Takashi said, getting more confused.

"Yep," Taichi nodded.

Yamato left the two to talk, and picked up the paint again to finish painting Takeru and Iori.

"Look we're going off for a drink," Taichi said a couple of minutes later. "Wanna come?"

"Not really," Yamato said, focussing on Iori's hair. "Do you mind if I stay here to finish some of these off?"

Taichi blinked. "Uh… sure… you don't have to, you've done more than enough."

"When will you be back?" Yamato asked. Taichi blushed.

"Uh… probably tomorrow…" he said, flushing.

"Ah," Yamato said delicately. "Leave the keys and I'll lock up when I leave."

"OK," Taichi said, nodding.

"You trust him that much?" Takashi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes I do," Taichi replied, sharing a grin with the blonde as he picked up his coat from the floor. "I'll see you in class, OK, Yama?"

"Sure," Yamato said, then frowned. "Aw man, no I won't, I'm going to Nagano, we have a concert there tomorrow evening."

"Concert?" Takashi look even more confused.

"I'm in a band," Yamato explained.

"Not just any band," Taichi said, smiling as he put his coat on. "Teen-age wolves."

"Cool! You're that Ishida Yamato??? I love your band!" Takashi said, smiling. Yamato felt his face going red a little.

"Thanks," he said. "Now get on with you, enjoy your date."

"Will do!" Taichi said enthusiastically. "If you're hungry just help yourself to anything in the kitchen."
"Yeah, OK," Yamato said as the two boys left the room and apartment. "Bye."

The blonde sighed and resumed his attention on the painting. He turned and looked at all the other paintings wistfully, wondering why on earth Taichi was letting him do this - there was no way he could compete with Taichi's style!

He worked solidly for the next two hours, then groaned as his stomach grumbled.

"Oh man!" Yamato sighed, finished the last part of Takeru's clothing, and cleaned the brush he was using. "Well, he did offer…" He took off the not-so-white-any-more shirt he used to cover his clothing and wandered through to Taichi's kitchen to see if there was any edible food in there. Ten minutes later and he came out with a warmed up tin of chicken soup.

"Better than nothing I suppose," the original bearer of friendship said, moving through to the sitting room to eat the soup. As he sat down on the couch, he felt something digging into his back.

"Huh, oh it's just a book," Yamato murmured, pulling out the hardback book that he'd just sat on. Opening the cover, he started to read…

Dear Ban,

I know I haven't written for ages, but the most amazing thing happened at summer camp!…

Yamato stared at the page, realising it was Taichi's diary, and blushing. He was about to put it back and forget about it, but then his curiosity got the better of him.

"I'm so nosey," he said to himself, and flicked through to a later entry.

Dear Ban,

I've just started the graphical arts course at school. It's really fun - I never thought I'd hear myself say that - or read that since I've written it… Unfortunately the art course doesn't begin until winter… I wish one of the other digi-destined was doing it too, it's kinda lonely on my own.

Met a boy called Takashi in my class. He's nice enough, I suppose, but nothing compared to Yama… OK, that's stupid, I told myself to get over this crush years ago… But I can't… He'd kill me if he knew I'd had a crush on him since the digital world… I think it's more than a crush, I think I'm actually in love with Yamato - kami-sama it hurts so much though…

I'm sorry for ranting again Ban, I'll get back to you later and I promise to stop thinking about him!

Dewa mata!

X Taichi x

Yamato blinked, and re-read the entry, tears threatening. No way… no way… Taichi couldn't have… could he? Soup forgotten, the blonde turned the page, and read on.

Dear Ban,

Last night we had a re-union. It's so messy! Ken and Daisuke have F I N A L L Y got together! It took them.. how long???

It was fun tonight, got Yamato to pose for me for the guest bedroom - drew him as an angel. But I guess, when everyone had left, I felt so lonely… I knew I had to give up thinking about him and move on. I have to have a life of my own, and I can't do that when I'm lusting after one of my best friends. My best friend, for crying out loud!

I've decided to move on, and find someone who loves me back, that I can love.

But how can I love someone else when I love him? I know it's love now, I knew it when he was sat there and I drew him as an angel… My angel… But he's not mine, is he? He never will be…

I know he doesn't feel the same way about me.

I have to move on.

I have to.

But why does it hurt so much to do so?

Dewa mata,

X Taichi x

Yamato sat there in shock, reading the last two entries over and over again. There were no more entries, even though it had been two weeks since the last one. The blonde found tears running down his cheeks, and he considered just leaving the diary where he'd found it…

How could he have been so stupid?

Was he blind?

Couldn't he have seen Taichi felt the same way about him?

Yamato gently laid the book down on the couch and ate the rest of the soup, ignoring that fact that it was cold, pondering what he should do.

One of the sentences Taichi had written had come back to him…

I know he doesn't feel the same way about me.

Agonising over what he should do, Yamato cleaned up his mess, threw the empty can of the soup into the bin, collected his things from the almost-finished guest bedroom, and stared at the book. Picking up a pencil, he added a comment to the line.

I know he doesn't feel the same way about me.

How do you know that?

Staring at the line, he moved the book into Taichi's bedroom and left the apartment, tears falling down his cheeks as he left the place far, far behind. At least he wouldn't see Taichi for a week or so, because of the concert.

Yamato stalked to his own apartment, and gave thanks for small blessings.

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Taichi staggered back into his room at eleven o' clock, sighing, and half expecting Yamato to still be there. He sighed when he wasn't.

The date had been abruptly finished when they'd come across an old boyfriend of Takashi's, and Takashi had broken it off with the brunette. Taichi had agreed amicably, knowing he really didn't love the black-haired boy.

Checking the guest bedroom, Taichi smiled at the completed painting of Takeru and Iori, then scowled. Picking up a rubber he rubbed out the little plushie of Takashi.

Yawning, the brunette sniggered and changed the little plushie under Yamato's foot to one of Takashi and staggered to the kitchen, noticing that Yamato had eaten one of the disgusting tins of chicken soup he still had in his cupboard from when he'd moved in. He grabbed a bag of crisps and moved to his bedroom to eat them and possibly sketch a picture or two. Maybe write a new diary entry.

He dropped onto the bed and picked up his diary, and picked up a pen whilst opening the crisps with his fingers and teeth. Opening the front cover, Taichi stared down at the book in his hands. This was his diary. Hadn't he left it in the sitting room…

Taichi blinked, then his mouth dropped open. He had left it in the sitting room, where anyone could have found it. And someone had apparantly found it. Flushing in mortification, the brunette realised the only person who could have found it was the one person who shouldn't.

"Oh kami, no," Taichi whispered, hoping against hopes that the blonde, the person he loved despite his protests, hadn't read the diary. Flicking through the pages, he found himself panicking. What if he had? How would he react?

His heart stopped as he saw the pencil mark on the last entry in the diary.

I know he doesn't feel the same way about me.

How do you know that?

No way.

I know he doesn't feel the same way about me.

How do you know that?

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Yamato sighed as he folded his laundry. Looking up to check the clock, he noticed it was two o' clock in the morning. Taichi would probably be back from the club or bar or wherever they went, and would probably now be in Takashi's arms…

Yamato lowered his head and lashed out, punching his sofa in anger. How could he have been so stupid?

He felt tears run down his face for the billionth time this week.

When did I become so weak?

He knew the answer to the silent question. He'd become weak when he's decided to push everyone away from him.

He was disrupted from his tears by a bang on his door. Glancing upwards, he sighed, and quickly wiped his eyes. Who the heck would be coming round at this hour? If it was Takeru again, having been locked out again, he was going to literally kill his brother.

Yamato got to his feet unsteadily, and made his way past the mess of clothes on the floor and opened the door. To his immense surprise, Taichi was stood on his doorstep, tears streaming down his face. The blonde blinked, then felt pain flash through his entire being as Taichi punched him solidly.

"How could you? How could you do this to me?" Taichi asked, his voice cracking, tears streaming down his face. Yamato tried to look up in shock, his head pounding, realising he was probably talking about reading his diary.

"I… I'm sorry, Taichi… I'm so, so…"

"Takashi broke up with me, you know?" Taichi continued, his voice gruff as he shut the door. "Because he knew I didn't love him, and he loved someone else… And you… You.. Arg!" The brunette gave up and collapsed on the floor, sobbing his eyes out.

Yamato stared at Taichi in shock, the pain lessening as his brain kicked in and he moved towards Taichi, tentatively enveloping the brunette in his arms. Taichi didn't pull away, only fell into them tighter and cried, letting out all the pent-up emotions he'd felt for years.

The blonde was unsure really how long they sat there like that, with the brunette crying his eyes out and he was holding him tightly. He rocked back and forth with Taichi, trying to calm the brunette down.

"Do you?"

Taichi's voice was a broken, cracked whisper, which Yamato heard clearly. It pierced straight into his heart like an arrow.

"Do… do I what?"

"Feel the same way as me…" Taichi trailed off, stiffening in Yamato's arms. The blonde self-consciously moved away, staring startled at the deep brown eyes in so much pain.

"I love you Taichi, I always have, I'm sorry…" Yamato gently admitted, not looking away.

"I was hoping you'd say that," Taichi responded, hope shining once more in the deep chocolate eyes. "I love you too Yama, only I was too scared you didn't feel the same."

Yamato smiled and their eyes locked for a brief, heart-rending second and they fell into a soul-searing, heart-stopping kiss that merged the two into one, and Taichi felt the blood pounding round his body, pounding in his ears, as he never wanted this moment to end…

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"Yagami Taichi, time to wake up! It's your eleventh birthday, you don't want to be late for your own party, do you?"

Taichi lifted his head up from where he must have fallen asleep. Wasn't he just in Yamato's apartment? What was his mum doing here? And where was his friend?

"Onii-chan, come on, wake up, sleepy-head," Hikari said. The brunette lifted his head, feeling his goggles on his head.

What the hell was going on? Eleventh birthday? His?

Taichi sat upright, and saw his family looking at him, concerned.

"I told you to go to bed earlier," his father said, frowning at his son. "Come on, you'll be late for your friends."

Startled and shocked, Taichi followed his parents as they left the familiar home apartment, heading for the community centre.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAICHI!"

Taichi blinked as he entered the community centre. Loads of his old friends from school were there. The entire hall was colourfully decorated, and some of the children ran forwards to greet him.

"Hi, I'm Takaishi Takeru, you don't know me, I'm dating your sister," a blond kid at the front said.

"Don't be stupid TK, of course I know you," Taichi said, biting his lip in his confusion. The blonde blinked, then recognition dawned in his eyes.

"Oh, right, Hikari must have been talking about me a lot," Takeru said, rolling his eyes.

"I thought she was dating Miyako," Taichi added gently, looking across at where the blonde kid now had his arm around Hikari.

What on earth was going on?

"Here, Taichi, I got you a present!"

Taichi turned to see a tall-ish auburn-haired girl handed him a brightly-coloured package.

"So - Sora?" He blurted out.

"Yeah, of course it's from me!" Sora said, laughing, then frowned. "Taichi, are you all right?"

"Yeah, sure," Taichi responded, feeling light-headed as some music was put on and some of the other kids started to mess around and dance.

"Open it," Sora pressed on, passing the present over. Taichi nodded, and gently prised off the paper. It was a new football. Taichi stared at it dully.

"Taichi, aren't you going to thank your girlfriend?" His mother prompted, blinking at her son in confusion.

"GIRLFRIEND?" Taichi screamed, and stopped. Sora looked hurt and everyone turned to look at him. "I don't have a girlfriend! I'm not eleven! I'm nineteen, I'm supposed to be at university here!"

The music ground to a halt, and Sora, in front of him, looked hurt and concerned all at once.

"Taichi?" Mrs. Yagami sounded very, very worried about her son.

"What's going on?" Taichi whispered, as everything around him turned black and he collapsed to the floor.

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"He's coming round."

Taichi looked up, and blinked, to see Yamato hanging over him, concerned. He turned his head, noticing the whiteness of the place and the bright lights.

"Yama, am I dead?" He croaked.

"No, you just fainted… I was really worried about you…" Yamato said, frowning. "I guess the shock was too much for you."

"Shock?"

"Me telling you I loved you back, I 'spose," Yamato said, smiling. "The doctor's said you'll be fine, that I can take you home in a couple of days."

"Good," Taichi croaked. "I wanna get back and finish the room off."
"Yeah, I know you do," Yamato said. "I've got that concert tonight otherwise I'd stay with you."

"I know," Taichi sighed, getting up. He felt dizzy. "I just had the weirdest dream, I was still eleven… It was horrible…"

"Well, you're not eleven, at least I hope not," Yamato said. Taichi laughed a little.

"Give me ten minutes to wake up and I'll be fine," Taichi said.

"No, rest," Yamato said firmly. "I'll be here watching over you for as long as I can, OK?"

"Thanks. I love you," Taichi murmured.

"I love you too, angel," Yamato responded.

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Taichi's eyes opened, and re-focussed to see… white. Just white… Miles upon miles upon miles of white… Where was he? Still in the hospital? No… it was soft… White…

"Yamato?" His own voice was strange to him as he croaked out the one name he could cling on to. "Yamato?"

"He's awake again, and calling out that name," a female voice floated through the door.

"Come with me, we'll sedate him again," a male voice replied.

A door opened from nowhere, and two people walked through. Taichi's gaze blurred and re-focussed on a tall, black-haired man and an auburn-haired woman.

"Takashi? Sora?"

"There he goes again, calling us those names," the auburn-haired woman sighed. "Please, Mr. Aino. I'm Ami, this is Motoki. We're here to look out for you."

"Mr. Aino? I'm Yagami Taichi, you've got the wrong person," Taichi protested, his gaze blurring again and his head pounding.

"Your name is Aino Hitoshi, please remember that," Ami pressed on.

"Sora, whats going on? Where's Yamato?" Taichi's voice was cracking again, and the doctor sighed and advanced on him with a needle. Taichi pushed himself backwards.

"No, don't!" He protested, seeing the needle. "I'm fine, I'm not this Aino Hitoshi; I'm Yagami Taichi!"

"Please Mr. Aino, don't make this any harder than it already is!"

Taichi felt himself being restrained from both sides, felt the needle being pushed in further and further and further until it was wrenched out with frightening alacrity.

"No, please don't leave me alone, please, no…"

Taichi watched the figures leave, moving further and further away as a dizzying sleep claimed him once more, spinning him into an endless depth of nothingness…

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Taichi's eyes snapped open; felt Yamato's lips on his. He pulled back, fear in his eyes.

"Taichi? Taichi, what's wrong?"

Yamato looked up, saw the haunted look in his love's eyes. Pushing laundry aside, the blonde felt tears prick his eyes.

"I'm sorry, that was too soon, too fast…"

"No Yama… I.. I … What's going on?"

Yamato's head lurched upwards to see Taichi stare at him in confusion, then collapse.

"Taichi!" Yamato screamed, but Taichi barely heard it as unconsciousness claimed him once again……

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The end of the first chapter…

If you want more, please R+R otherwise I'll probably not have the inspiration to finish it.

And if anyone has any ideas for future chapters I'd be happy to hear them, anything's gotta be better than mine… If you hadn't guessed, I got slight inspiration for this from Perfect Blue... but trust me the ending will be different from Perfect Blue… VERY different.