Love Ridden

By: ChaoticSpecter

She sat with her back against the wall, cigarette hanging delicately between her fingers, and she wondered -although not for the first time- what the hell she was doing with him. Her gaze shifted to the lone figure sprawled on the bed, the brunette strands of hair peeking out from under a pillow. She thought about their relationship -if you could even call it one- and sighed.

They had shit in common. They rarely saw each other outside of the bedroom and when they did, they rushed to the nearest secluded spot for a quick fuck. The only thing holding them together was sex--it was pitiful. She brought the cigarette to her lips and took a long drag. She watched him shift in sleep and her eyes automatically roamed the pale planes of his flesh, taking in everything she had long ago committed to memory.

She found him gorgeous, his attractiveness potent in its subtlety. She eyed the deceptively frail looking frame and shuddered at the thought of the strength she knew it held, the strength she felt when he held her as they moved together under the cover of night. A sharp pang of lust lanced through her at the thoughts. Oh yes, sex was all that was keeping them together.

Although, there were times when she wished it wasn't so, that there was more sustaining their relationship, something like love. She didn't know when she started to think these thoughts, but some time over the course of the six months they were together it happened. She wanted more than lust, she wanted passion, affection, devotion…She wanted everything, she wanted him to belong to her.

Then she would remember that they had nothing in common outside of sex, that they would most likely go off and cheat on each other in the morning, that she couldn't stand his company for more than an hour outside of the bedroom. She shook her head causing short red locks to fly into her face before being pushed back behind small ears.

She finished off her cigarette and got up to sort her clothes from the pile that lay on the floor. She pulled the torn blue jeans on as soon as she found them, her shirt however, proved harder to find. Normally she would have left the shirt there and come back to find it later, but this shirt had sentimental value. It was a gift from Taichi and Yamato, her best friends, she didn't want it to be holed up in this apartment for God knows how long, especially since she abused it the way she did wearing it every other day; she loved it, it was her favorite shirt. She eventually found it just outside the bedroom door lying in the same place it had been dropped when Satoshi pulled it off of her.

Fully clothed, she walked over to the bed leaning over the body that lay sprawled across it. She gazed at him silently for a while before turning to leave the room altogether. Finally out of the apartment she silently told herself she wouldn't see him again, but she knew as he knew, that she would be back as soon as se thought about him. She sighed damning herself for her weakness.

She shook her head again while pulling another cigarette out of her bag and lighting it. Nothing could be done about it now, she would eventually get over him she knew--after all it was only lust. She gave a self-depreciating laugh as she stepped outside the apartment building and gazed up at the window of the apartment she had just left for a few moments before turning away and beginning the walk home.

She found it oddly fitting that the Child of Love never managed to have a meaningful relationship. It only made too much sense to her--she was supposed to be devoted to the happiness of others, not herself. She didn't matter; the most she seemed to be able to achieve was lust. A powerful mind-consuming lust so strong it caused her entire frame to shake from its intensity. Lust, the pleasures of the body, she couldn't move beyond it. But now was not the time to dwell on these things. It was never the time, not for her.

End

A/N: This is fic just came to me as I was waking up--it had to be written. Leave your thoughts.