Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Lullaby in Blue ❯ The Letter ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Whisper in the Soup 
Izzy recieves a letter from his real mother in the mail. How does Izzy react to hearing from his mother at last?
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 09.22.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 542 | Status: Completed
Izzy recieves a letter from his real mother in the mail. How does Izzy react to hearing from his mother at last?
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 09.22.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 542 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: Same ole, same ole. I dun own Digimon. I dun own "Lullaby in Blue". Bette Midler owns "Lullaby in Blue". I dun. Okay? Okay.
This ficcy is set from the POV of Izzy's real mom, not his adoptive one. She decides she finally wants to contact her son after eighteen years. Slightly A/U, cos I'm not sure of the conditions Izzy got put up for adoption under. I made it fit the song, so nyah on you.
"IZZY!" my mother yelled. "You have a letter!" I ran into the living room and grabbed the letter.
"Thanks Mom," I panted, and ran back into my room, where I opened the letter and began to read...
"Dear my baby Koushirou...
Have you ever wondered what I went though? My whole life, I wanted no one but you. You never knew me, nor I you. Please, don't feel bitter towards me. I couldn't stand having my baby boy bad at me.
/*I know that I'm no saint.
My head is in the clouds.
They called you a mistake,
but I still, I still say your name out loud.*/
"Natalie! Come downstairs, would you?? Your boyfriend's on the phone!" I sighed and rolled off my bed.
"Coming, mother!" I said; running downstairs and picking up the phone. "Hello?" I asked.
"Hi Natalie. This is Koushirou. D'you wanna come over this evening? My parents won't be home, and...well, we'll have the house to ourself..." I told him I would be there in half an hour. Getting dressed quickly and kissing my mother goodbye, I ran out the door and got in my car.
Ten minutes later, I arrived at Koushirou's house. We spent the whole night together and had lots of fun. By the time we had exchanged our last goodnight kiss, it was after midnight.
*Flashback: January, 1983*
"Natalie? Is something wrong?" my mother asked me. It was nearing the end of winter, and I noticed that I was very fat all of a sudden. I also got sick in the mornings a lot, like today.
"I...mother, I think there's something wrong with me," I wispered. "I think I'm pregnant."
/*They called me a stupid girl,
just like my mom.
Too many men passed through my arms.
At seventeen I looked into your eyes,
knew I could never comfort your cries.
Every April still reminds me of you.
The child I never knew.
My lullaby in blue.*/
On April 13 of the new year, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I named him Koushirou after his father. I had hoped people wouldn't shun me for being a mother at seventeen because I loved you and was going to try my damnedest to keep you and raise you right. I was wrong.
The gossip spread. "Did you hear? Natalie Aizokou had a baby! She's only seventeen!" and "Like mother, like daughter. I hear Mrs. Aizokou was only about eighteen herself when she had Natalie!" I was no longer accepted in the community, so I realised I had to give you up, my baby Koushirou.
When your adoptive parents came to get you, I cried and handed them the blue-clad bundle that was you. The only thing I sent with you to have from me was the blue baby suit I sewed for you right before your birth. As their car drove away, I felt like screaming and running madly after them. I already missed you...
*Flashback: April, 1984*
Today was your birthday. I wonder what you look like now? I wonder if you'll ever try to find me? I hope your parents are treating you well...
My Koushirou, how I miss you! I so want to be there for you, to watch you as you grow up. I wish I knew where you were now, so I could at least send you a present. My baby boy, one year old!
*Present*
/*It all goes by so fast.
How lovely you must be.
Why you've reached the age at last
that I was when your daddy lived with me.*/
So, my baby Koushirou grew up into the Koushirou you are now. You're now eighteen, about the same age I was before birthing you. I no longer live with the older Koushirou, he turned out to be quite violent. I live happily enough, with my new husband and my two children. But none compare to you, Koushirou. How I wish I knew where you were! Your parents moved and left no forwarding address.
My baby Koushirou, are you even alive? Will you ever get to meet your mother? I hope all is well with you, I don't know. Every April that passes, I long to have my baby boy to celebrate with, to spoil with presents, to love.
/*How I wish we could meet somewhere,
talk it through.
There is so much I would say to you.
There are others, I'm not alone.
A younger brother you've never known,
and a baby girl who so reminds me of you.
The child I never knew.
My lullaby in blue.*/
I have a son and a daughter besides you, Koushirou. They're beautiful, but not half as beautiful as you were. Kouyane and Miyazei ask about you all the time. They ask what happened to their older brother. I think you would positively adore them, and them you.
Poor Kouyane has no older brother to teach him to play catch! How he longs for you, Koushirou, even just to see you once!
Kouyane and Miyazei grow up without you, Koushirou. Miyazei is quite beautiful, and Kouyane looks just like your father looked. Just how I imagine you to look.
Today is your eighteenth birthday, Koushirou. I'm thinking of you, Koushirou, as I always have on your birthday. I wanted you to know that no matter where you are, your Mama longs for her baby boy back, so she can watch him turn into the great man I know you will me.
Don't long for us as we long for you. I would never wish for someone to go what we go through. Our forbidden needs. Our baby boy.
I am sick with cancer, Koushirou. I don't have much time left. And now I am growing weaker. I will die soon, having never known my firstborn son. I try with all my strength to hold on. Hold on, so I can finish my letter. This letter, my only contact with you, contact I have never had. All though my life there has been a hole that nobody can fill but you, my Koushirou first born son...
/*As the years go by,
try not to think of us sadly.
Believe it if you can,
I wanna see you so badly.
On your birthday, Mama's thinking of you.
The child I never knew.
My lullaby in blue.
My lullaby in blue.
My lullaby . . . */"
The letter trailed off. It wasn't finished. My eyes full of tears, I realised what must have happened. My real mother spent the last time of her life writing this. She died before she ever finished. I sat the letter down and cried, because I never wondered about her. In all my eighteen years, I never once thought about when my real mother's birthday might be. I never asked, never tried to track her down.
And yet...
She still cared.
"Mama?" I whispered to the ceiling. "I'm sorry..." The letter floated out of my hand and landed on the floor. I didn't even notice, for I had curled up on my bed, crying and clutching something.
It was a small, blue baby's outfit.
The End
This ficcy is set from the POV of Izzy's real mom, not his adoptive one. She decides she finally wants to contact her son after eighteen years. Slightly A/U, cos I'm not sure of the conditions Izzy got put up for adoption under. I made it fit the song, so nyah on you.
"IZZY!" my mother yelled. "You have a letter!" I ran into the living room and grabbed the letter.
"Thanks Mom," I panted, and ran back into my room, where I opened the letter and began to read...
"Dear my baby Koushirou...
Have you ever wondered what I went though? My whole life, I wanted no one but you. You never knew me, nor I you. Please, don't feel bitter towards me. I couldn't stand having my baby boy bad at me.
/*I know that I'm no saint.
My head is in the clouds.
They called you a mistake,
but I still, I still say your name out loud.*/
"Natalie! Come downstairs, would you?? Your boyfriend's on the phone!" I sighed and rolled off my bed.
"Coming, mother!" I said; running downstairs and picking up the phone. "Hello?" I asked.
"Hi Natalie. This is Koushirou. D'you wanna come over this evening? My parents won't be home, and...well, we'll have the house to ourself..." I told him I would be there in half an hour. Getting dressed quickly and kissing my mother goodbye, I ran out the door and got in my car.
Ten minutes later, I arrived at Koushirou's house. We spent the whole night together and had lots of fun. By the time we had exchanged our last goodnight kiss, it was after midnight.
*Flashback: January, 1983*
"Natalie? Is something wrong?" my mother asked me. It was nearing the end of winter, and I noticed that I was very fat all of a sudden. I also got sick in the mornings a lot, like today.
"I...mother, I think there's something wrong with me," I wispered. "I think I'm pregnant."
/*They called me a stupid girl,
just like my mom.
Too many men passed through my arms.
At seventeen I looked into your eyes,
knew I could never comfort your cries.
Every April still reminds me of you.
The child I never knew.
My lullaby in blue.*/
On April 13 of the new year, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I named him Koushirou after his father. I had hoped people wouldn't shun me for being a mother at seventeen because I loved you and was going to try my damnedest to keep you and raise you right. I was wrong.
The gossip spread. "Did you hear? Natalie Aizokou had a baby! She's only seventeen!" and "Like mother, like daughter. I hear Mrs. Aizokou was only about eighteen herself when she had Natalie!" I was no longer accepted in the community, so I realised I had to give you up, my baby Koushirou.
When your adoptive parents came to get you, I cried and handed them the blue-clad bundle that was you. The only thing I sent with you to have from me was the blue baby suit I sewed for you right before your birth. As their car drove away, I felt like screaming and running madly after them. I already missed you...
*Flashback: April, 1984*
Today was your birthday. I wonder what you look like now? I wonder if you'll ever try to find me? I hope your parents are treating you well...
My Koushirou, how I miss you! I so want to be there for you, to watch you as you grow up. I wish I knew where you were now, so I could at least send you a present. My baby boy, one year old!
*Present*
/*It all goes by so fast.
How lovely you must be.
Why you've reached the age at last
that I was when your daddy lived with me.*/
So, my baby Koushirou grew up into the Koushirou you are now. You're now eighteen, about the same age I was before birthing you. I no longer live with the older Koushirou, he turned out to be quite violent. I live happily enough, with my new husband and my two children. But none compare to you, Koushirou. How I wish I knew where you were! Your parents moved and left no forwarding address.
My baby Koushirou, are you even alive? Will you ever get to meet your mother? I hope all is well with you, I don't know. Every April that passes, I long to have my baby boy to celebrate with, to spoil with presents, to love.
/*How I wish we could meet somewhere,
talk it through.
There is so much I would say to you.
There are others, I'm not alone.
A younger brother you've never known,
and a baby girl who so reminds me of you.
The child I never knew.
My lullaby in blue.*/
I have a son and a daughter besides you, Koushirou. They're beautiful, but not half as beautiful as you were. Kouyane and Miyazei ask about you all the time. They ask what happened to their older brother. I think you would positively adore them, and them you.
Poor Kouyane has no older brother to teach him to play catch! How he longs for you, Koushirou, even just to see you once!
Kouyane and Miyazei grow up without you, Koushirou. Miyazei is quite beautiful, and Kouyane looks just like your father looked. Just how I imagine you to look.
Today is your eighteenth birthday, Koushirou. I'm thinking of you, Koushirou, as I always have on your birthday. I wanted you to know that no matter where you are, your Mama longs for her baby boy back, so she can watch him turn into the great man I know you will me.
Don't long for us as we long for you. I would never wish for someone to go what we go through. Our forbidden needs. Our baby boy.
I am sick with cancer, Koushirou. I don't have much time left. And now I am growing weaker. I will die soon, having never known my firstborn son. I try with all my strength to hold on. Hold on, so I can finish my letter. This letter, my only contact with you, contact I have never had. All though my life there has been a hole that nobody can fill but you, my Koushirou first born son...
/*As the years go by,
try not to think of us sadly.
Believe it if you can,
I wanna see you so badly.
On your birthday, Mama's thinking of you.
The child I never knew.
My lullaby in blue.
My lullaby in blue.
My lullaby . . . */"
The letter trailed off. It wasn't finished. My eyes full of tears, I realised what must have happened. My real mother spent the last time of her life writing this. She died before she ever finished. I sat the letter down and cried, because I never wondered about her. In all my eighteen years, I never once thought about when my real mother's birthday might be. I never asked, never tried to track her down.
And yet...
She still cared.
"Mama?" I whispered to the ceiling. "I'm sorry..." The letter floated out of my hand and landed on the floor. I didn't even notice, for I had curled up on my bed, crying and clutching something.
It was a small, blue baby's outfit.
The End