Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ MST: A True Savior ❯ A True Savior ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Kaori_is_Fading 
A trainwreck
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.12.2009 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.7K | Visits: 463 | Status: Work In Progress
A trainwreck
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.12.2009 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.7K | Visits: 463 | Status: Work In Progress
(((AUTHOR'S NOTE: The fanfic MSTed within is the propery of "Casey Ray C" and done without permission. While Renamon is copyrighted to Bandai. Casey Ray and more or less every character except Renamon is proprty of Casy Ray. I am making no profit out of writing this, and am only putting this disclaimer here because this website is paranoid about copyright laws.)))
*One sunny day, Excel Excel was walking down the sidewalk of F City, F Prefecture. She seemed to be a normal young lady, lost in a bizarre state of happy confusion, but there was more to her than that: Excel Excel was on a mission.*
Excel:(singing off-tune) Walking down the street.. Missions are fun.. Hatchan is goone!*She does a little twirl* I wonder why Ilplazzo wanted me to do this one without Hatchan. Now.. let's see... phase one! Go!
*Excel suddenly whips out a small gray gun, pointing it at a small girl and pulling the trigger. A net shoots out, and wraps around her. The girl screams and struggles, but cannot break free. Then, she turns it to a boy and a girl talking to each other; Two more captured, with the girl screaming out profanities that would make a sailor blush.*
Excel: (Grabbing the two nets, and pulling them with bizarre strength.) Three civilians captured! Now, into the theater!
*Excel proceeds to go into an old run-down theater. It seems extremely neglected, as if no one has stepped foot within it for a long time.*
Excel: Hm? What does Lord Ilplazzo want with these guys in this place..?
Girl inside the net: HEY! WHAT THE FUCK!! LET ME OUT OF HEAR, YOU DITZY BITCH!!!
Guy: Yeah, what she said, but with less profanity!!
Little girl: Please don't kill me and sell my body to make super soldiers or something!! I have to get to school!!
Excel: Silence, ignorant populace!! Lord Ilplazzo has ordered me to-(She suddenly feels a gun barrel on her neck.) ...Gulp.*The girl in the net has a distinctly guitar-shaped gun pointed at her. She drops the net, and Haruhara Haruko gets out. Kite follows, pointing a dagger at Excel.*
Excel: Why'd I have to pick the armed ones??
Haruko: Funny how that works out, huh? *She pushes Excel down, who lands flat on her face* Kite, get that little girl out of the net.
*Kite cuts the small girl, Mihama Chiyo, free. She gasps for air despite she had plenty of that, and tosses her plastic lunchbox at Excel, causing a large bruise on the side of her head.*
Chiyo: You crazy woman! I could miss classes now 'cause of you!
Excel: This..Isn't turning out how I planned.
*Suddenly, a massive viewscreen comes down from the ceiling, displaying on it none other than Ilplazzo. Haruko gasps at the man's sheer handsomeness.*
Haruko: What a hunk!!
Ilplazzo: Welcome, citizens.. And Excel.. To my experimentation area. *Triggered by these words, all around them, massive steel shutters slammed down on all possible walls, ceilings, and exits. Haruko moves her guitar/gun away fromE xcel, who is sufficently subdued for the time being, and fires at the shutters. There is a massive explosion.. But the wall stands, not even dented.* Those walls are solid adamantium, not even your.. extra-terrestrial.. weaponry can dent it.
Haruko: Damn... *she looks back at Illplazzo.* Well.. I'm confused as hell.. What's going on?
Excel: I have captured you in the name of Il-*Kicked by Kite* Oww!
Ilplazzo: She means Ilplazzo.. You have been captured by the great idealogical organization of ACROSS. You are all now test subjects.
Chiyo: TEST SUBJECTS?! But.. But.. I have school!!
Ilplazzo: You have worse things to worry about than being tardy.
Kite: What kind of tests are you going to run on us, you maniac?
Ilplazzo: I am going to test the limits of the human mind against stupidity.
Haruko: Why?
Ilplazzo: because I can! Your testing will take the form of watching awful fanfiction in this theater.
Haruko: Again...Why?
Ilplazzo: You're asking too many questions.... I will start the fanfic now.
haruko: I don't think so! *She grabs Excel* We have your precious soldier person hostage! Let us free or she gets it!
Ilplazzo: (Without hesitating) I don't care. She's part of the testing too.
Excel: WHAT?!?!
Ilplazzo: That was the plan from the beginning, Excel.. Think of it as a vacation. Now, everyone go to the theater.. i have a wonderful fanfiction picked out for you. When the siren goes off...
*The siren does*
Haruko: kite... I really don't wanna do this.
Kite: We have no choice.
Chiyo: i'm scared! *Incredo-cute face.*
Haruko: ...Oh.My.God. You are ADORABLE! *grabs her* Don't worry, I'll keep you safe.
Chiyo: uhh.. Okay!
*they all head into the theater, Kite carrying a dazed Excel*
Chiyo: *gulp* Well, I guess this it it..
Haruko: Since I can't break out, I guess our only hope is to wait it out...
Excel: Well, here we go! I can't say that I'm too excited, but I suppose it would be boring to sit and do nothing all day in a bland metal room so maybe this is more of a blessing than a curse well I suppose either way I'll have to persist for Ilpalazzo and ACROSS and-*rambles on*
Kite: I hope she isn't always like this...
This lemon is based on Digimon, however, it does not relate to any direct series.
Chiyo: Um... I thought he said...
Kite: I don't know. But I have a bad feeling about it...
This lemon involves adult situations and should not be viewed by anyone under the age of 18
Excel: [Announcer] Or nineteen for that matter. Or twenty. Hell, I'd say you shouldn't watch it at all.
Includes Renamon
Haruko: Oh, no.. It's the queen of furry hentai herself.
Kite: *broods*
Chiyo: Huh..? What's a hentai?
*Haruko and Kite exchange worried glances. Excel, meanwhile, looks confused*
Excel: ...Hey, are you gonna answer? What IS hentai?
and Casey Ray
Written by Casey Ray C.
CHAPTER 1
_
Haruko: Ladies an gentleman, the "Lone Hyphen".
Kite: Oh, come on, divider riffs are so cliche.
Haruko: I riff what I riff, Mr. Poofy Hat.
Ever have one of those times when you needed someone else maybe not vitally but maybe just for companionship, one of the cruelest fates you could wish on some one is for them to be alone.
Haruko: If so, call 555-YIFF-ME-PLZ
No friends, family, or loved ones, you may not believe this
Kite: But it's true. Everyone hates you!
but in order to understand how truly horrible it is you must split your self from every one and know you will never be able to get back to them again...thinking about it, its better not to believe than try it yourself and know the real pain it can cause to you…
Chiyo: Then why tell us in the first place?
Excel: Nararrators major in that during college.
A TRUE SAVIOR.
All:(singing) Our gooooddd Is an awesome god, he reeeiiigns from heaven above...
*sigh* “I remember when this all started” said Renamon to herself as a tear rolled down her cheek.
Kite: (Renamon)There was that big voice telling me about how bad it was being lonely, oh, the horror!
Chiyo: Aww, she fell through a pentagram again!
“…I was with Rika when this blinding white light came down on me and the next thing I knew I was in some strange place and Rika was nowhere to be found,” Renamon explained.
Chiyo: (Renamon) And then I was struck by another vauge thing with even vauger effects!
“Next thing I know there was another blinding light but this one was different I didn’t go back,” Said Renamon.
Haruko: Well, that IS your fault! When animals see the headlights coming, they usually get off the freeway.
A strange and loud voice boomed. “GET ON THE GROUND AND KEEP YOUR HANDS IN PLAIN SIGHT.”
Excel: The standard American welcoming proceedures for big, anthromorphic fox people.
Haruko: Or any non-caucasian for that matter.
“I was in-circled by strange cars with weird red and blue lights and men in odd uniforms all pointing guns at me,” said Renamon.
Haruko: Don't you hate it when that happens?
Excel: I'm sure it had nothing to do with the blood all over her hands
Chiyo: or the large bags of money she was carrying around.
“Just then…that’s when he showed up, the sound of a speeding motorcycle was coming closer by every second,” said Renamon.
“The motorcycle launched off and over one of the in-circling police cars, then that strange voice boomed again, HEY YOU WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!? BOTH OF YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD… NOW!”
Haruko: (booming voice) WE JUST WANT TO SEE IF YOU CAN RIDE WITHOUT TOUCHING THE HANDLEBARS!
Kite: You know, I think mister "strange, booming voice" is gonna be my favorite character.
“Heheh” *grabs his crotch and cracks his neck* “I prefer to run,” said the stranger.
Excel: (Michael Jackson) OOOH~
Haruko: Casey is a criminal of the smooth variety.
He was a rather slim and sleek looking man with short brown hair and green eyes, and tall enough to look me in the eye; he had a six foot scimitar slung in a leather sheath across his back which was barely smaller than he was, looked kind of heavy to me, he wore a olive colored tank top, blue jeans, brown steel toed boots, and a gold ring with a sapphire set into it on a chain.
Chiyo: His nose was approximately three centimeters wide at it's broadest point. His ears stuck out slightly....
Excel: He used Crest brand toothpaste.... He had not combed his hair this morning...
He looked at me with a satisfied smirk held out his hand and said; “Come with me if you want to live,”
Everyone: *Shock*
Chiyo: Wow.. The terminator? This must be a pretty high-budget fanfic.
didn’t quite trust him but what choice did I have, either him or the less likely friendly guys with guns.
I got on the bike as he unsheathed his sword and swung it in an uppercut motion and a current of air raised up from the ground and flipped two of the police cars and stunned their owners.
Chiyo: So stunned, they left their girl scout cookie boxes at the doorstep and ran home scared.
I couldn’t believe the sheer power of a single human could be so vast, I was in awe, luckily he still had hold of my hand or I would have fallen off the bike as he hit the gas and we raced down the street.
Haruko: (Renamon) In hindsight, maybe I should have just let go.
It seemed the only thing that wasn’t chasing us was the army (must have been a sick day or something) as we were heading down a main streets the police decided they were going to start shooting,
Excel: (Policeman) hey guys, should we shoot yet?
Kite: (Another policeman) Uhhhhh....Oh, fine!
said Renamon.
Haruko:(Biker guy) Are you writing a diary out loud or something?
He proved he wasn’t done amazing me yet, sword still in hand and watching the side mirror, he was changing the trajectory of the bullets to the cars tires, with the flat of his sword!
Kite: (Arnold voice) AH AHM THE SWORDMASTAH!
He cut through a street lamp which came crashing down on the following police team.
Chiyo: (Narrator)...Then immediatly stopped to apologize.
I lost balance and he grabbed me by the waist but he also took a bullet in the arm, his sword missed the bullet.
Excel: I really can't envision this scene.. Every time I try to imagine the two on the bike, I just picture two pretzles holding knives twisting around on a Power Wheels dirtbike
Haruko: You're not alone.
The sudden jolt of pain caused him to loose control of the bike.
Kite: This would prove to be his downfall for the rest of the Tour De France.
Chiyo: Oh, poor Lance, he's so brave!
The bike skidded out and burst into flames a few feet away as he threw us off. At the last second he curled protectively around me so I wasn’t hurt by the fall. (Or at least that’s what he said; he probably just wanted to fondle me. =
Haruko: I'm jealous; Renamon's inner-monolouge supports emoticons.
Kite: She must be running Linux
“Ugggh ok that hurt…don’t tell me your dead” apparently I took too long to respond and he finished with; “not after that,”
Chiyo: (Renamon) Being dead, I was easily able to follow this order.
Kite: (Motorcycle guy) I just commited assault on an officer with a deadly weapon, blew up some squad cars and caused several thousand dollars in property damage, and you're going to thank me by DYING?!
“No, just stunned, now what?
Excel: Wow, he's really on a roll today with that whole stun thing.
Chiyo: (Renamon) Nah, just paralyzed from the neck down. Nothing THAT serious.*scoffs*
Kite: Damn, Chiyo-Chan, you're pretty cold...
Chiyo: *Giggle*
They probably won’t give up so easy and we won’t get far running.” said Renamon.
Haruko: Since she obviously knows SO MUCH about where she is and the people chasing her.
Excel: Geeze, when they get that street lamp that crushed thier ribs off of them, oh boy is she in trouble...
“You don’t know much about urban survival do you?” he asked,
No why, replied Renamon?
Kite:(Motorcycle guy) Ah, jus' wonderin. I got this test tomorrow and stuff...
“Lesson #1 of urban survival training: if it isn’t yours *the guy smashes out a window of a car parked on the side of the street* make it yours. Well what do ya know the door was already unlocked,” he said with a snicker as if the blood trailing down his arm didn’t mean anything.
Haruko: (Renamon) First crotch-grabbing, now vandilism! What a man!*Swoon*
Excel: Is that what the first rule is? I always thought it was something like, "Watch yo' back"... or at least something in ebonics. I'd better take notes for Ilplazzo
I had to ask; “didn’t that hurt?”
Kite: THE TERMANATAH FEELS NOHH PAIN.
“Not half as much as the bullet did” Looking away from the street only for a moment to glance in the rear view mirror to see blue and red lights closing in,“heh think I need to pay em back” he said with an evil grimace.
Chiyo: Ah, I see. So this is what happens when you skip the bill at Apple Bees.
As a police car came up beside the car he kicked the driver’s side door free of the car and into the cop car’s door,
Excel: The police need better tactics to nab an armed and dangerous fugitive than parking the car beside them.
Kite: If they did, this wouldn't be a fanfic anymore, would it?
propping it there with his boot as a shield from bullets. In an instant he had his scimitar in his left hand slashing both tires on the cop car’s right side. The cop car swerved and spun taking out those behind it and leaving me and him a clean get away.
Haruko:(Policeman): We just want that fox chick to put some clothes on! Stop, in the name of decency!
About thirty minutes later we were out side his home, a three story mansion with a large metal gate and fence surrounding it.
Chiyo: Hah! You call that a mansion? You oughtta see my house.
Haruko: Homes of The Rich and Famous: Greasy Biker Outlaw Edition.
“Wow do you really own this place,” asked Renamon?
Kite:(Motorcycle guy) GODDAMNIT! Didn't you listen to the first rule?! I technichally own everything! Bad doggy, bad!
“I do now… the pervious owner liked fish…. So much he ended up sleeping with them,”
All:....
Excel: ...My..My lord.
Haruko: I think I knew what he meant, but...
Chiyo: I don't get it!
“WHA-” *Renamon gets cut off by Casey Ray* “That’s right we haven’t been introduced have we? My name is Casey Ray,” he said with a polite bow “and yours would be?”
Haruko: Casey Rey? Dear god! Renamon has materialized in deep wood Alabama!
Kite: (Deep southern voice) We dun get much fox-folks 'round these-'ere parts. Jus' self-insert'ation characters
I had to struggle with the words “I’m Rena-Renamon”
Excel: Looks like the struggle gave her a stutter...
Chiyo: 'Twas an epic battle.
Well Rena you probably want to get cleaned up after that excursion, bathrooms to the right bedrooms to the left. If you want I can show you around after you get cleaned up,” said Casey Ray and again he bowed before he turned to leave.
Haruko: Y'know... *thinking hard* I wonder, all of a sudden, if anyone notices the fact that Renamon is quite obviously a large, yellow, bipedial ninja fox?
Kite: *Gasp of horror* Haru-san!
Haruko: Sorry.
Kite:Thinking logically like that, geeze...that's crossing the line.
“Give me a call when you get hungry I’ll throw something together for us…
Excel: (Casey) Yeah, I usually just toss whatever I find into a pot and set it on fire.. Gets the job done, y'know?
or we could go out for dinner,”
All:(Family Feud) Good answer! Good answer!
said Casey Ray with that same pleased smirk as before.
After a quick shower I slipped into a bathrobe and went off to look for him.
Haruko: If I had to guess, he's probably far, far away from the killer anthromorph wearing the bathrobe.
Excel: (Casey) Oh, geeze, c'mon! You're getting fur all in it...
When I finally found him he was out in the back yard, which was divided into two branches from the hall one half was a shooting range with a arrangement of shooting equipment and a dirt pile at the back to catch the slugs.
Chiyo: While Casey Ray may have a weaponry fetish, he spends most of his spare time catching and training a garden slug circus!
Kite: I have a whole new respect for the guy.
Haruko: Hey, he was talking about bullets, kids.
The other half was a garden, green and lush with flowers and spices and various trees
Chiyo: See! He really is a good guy!
Haruko: I'd bet ten dollars that spice is slang for "crack/cocain", kid.
Chiyo: But-
Haruko: Stop arguing with me. *Lights up a cigarette. Chiyo crosses her arms in frustration*
but in the center was a clearing, a ring where only grass and a boom box stood
Chiyo: Beatbox time!*Others start making beatbox noises. Excel breakdances on the theater floor*
and there he was in the middle practicing with his sword he had used earlier that day he didn’t hear me come in because he had the stereo pumped and was singing to the song (actually he wasn’t that bad either).
Excel:(Casey Singing, badly) My RIVAL! Dagger in my HAND!
Kite: (Also singing badly) Grabbed him by the collar! I just- *Whapped by Haruko* Owww!
*Renamon sneaks up on Casey Ray while he’s practicing
Chiyo: And slits his throat stealthiy. The end.
Kite: *Eyes Chiyo nervously*
Excel: The narrarators include Renamon as well as Casey Ray's cousin Billy Joel, watching down on them from the trees.
Haruko: (Singing) Where are.. The quotes? Send in... The quotes!
and scares the living hell of him. His sword goes backwards, cuts open the bath robe she slips and falls on top of Casey Ray*
Kite:(Narrator) Revealing absolutely -nothing- because Renamon is always naked anyway and nevertheless still suitable for a children's television show.
(such a shame huh ;) )
Chiyo: (Narrator) Tee hee... Come on, giggle darn you!!! GIGGLE!!!!
“Well that could have gone worse,” said Casey Ray with a wry smile.
Haruko:(Casey) Yeah, I could accidently sliced off your bathrobe and- Woah, HELLO!
*Renamon blushes* *SMACK* “….pervert,”
Kite: Renamon bites the hand that gropes.
replied Renamon turned around with a wry smile of her own this time.
“Eh I’ve been called a lot worse
Kite:(Casey) This one time, a guy had the balls to call me "Big Fat Baby-Eatin' Mormon Mcgee". Rest assured HE went home limping.
and you can’t tell me you didn’t think the same thing can you?
Excel:(Renamon)I didn't think the same thing.
No, you can’t deny it but you won’t admit it either then will you?” asked Casey Ray. “It’s ok though I already know the answer.”
Chiyo: Abraham Lincoln! Mount Rushmore! Ryan O'Bryant's socks!
Kite: BZZZZT! I'm sorry, the correct answer was, "WHAT IS Ryan O'Bryant's socks?"
*Casey Ray walks over to Renamon puts his arms around her waist
Haruko:(Casey) Prepare yourself for my full-nelson slam, vixen she-devil!
and kisses her then walks over to the door*
“See,” asked Casey Ray?
Chiyo: ...What was she supposed to see?
Excel: Maybe he was proving to her that she wouldn't crumble to dust if their lips made contact. I'm sure a lot of women make that mistake around Casey.
“No… not really perhaps you need to show me,” said Renamon fondling Casey Ray’s balls though his jeans.
Excel: ..Or so she attempted, yet found a suspicious lack of any such substance.
Kite:(Casey) Hehe.. I taught her that one.
Chiyo: What kind of balls?? Are they going to play a game? Why are you covering my eyes, Harusan?
Haruko: *lazily smoking*Don't worry about it, Chiyo-chan.
Then he said something I wasn’t prepared for…
Excel: (Casey) Sorry, I'm sexually attracted to soap bars.
he said “moving a bit fast aren’t we? We should wait, after all we just met.”
Haruko: This man only goes fast in two places: On the road, and in bed.
Chiyo: What's that supposed to mean? I'm so confuuussed!
Even though I know now he was just playing hard to get at the time I thought heh felt he was too good for me…
Excel: Or maybe... He's not into that whole "beastiality" thing? maybe? Possibly?
“Fine if you want to play that game here comes the ace of spades…”
Excel: That's the cheesiest "whip it out" line I've ever heard.. And I've played Lord Ilplazzo's dating sims.
Chiyo: Why aren't you guys's jokes making sense anymore? Somebody tell me what's going on!!
Kite: Don't worry, Chiyo.. I have a feeling you'll probably find out before this fic is over.
Epilogue
Excel: It's over already? Whew! And I collected lots of data on the ignorant masses today!
In the fallowing months after Rena moved in Casey and Rena-
Kite: Ahh, the classic love triangle.. A foxgirl, a boy, and the foxgirl's clone.
though she seemed to put up a could shoulder toward him - became real close he taught her how to shoot, several different stances to use both in shooting and in close-quarters combat, even work on cooking…
Chiyo: And that's all in this wonderful knife we're selling here for only 54.99!
with a few disastrous attempts.
Haruko: Luckily, she only shot herself once though.
Excel: What do you mean, "luckily"?
Casey told her some of his past but seemed very selective of what parts like he was hiding something…
Excel: On the next episode: Casey's dark past of as a Holiday Inn bellhop, revealed in entireity!!
but little did she know just how much…
Kite: How much nonsense was in store for her.
Excel: How much money Casey had mooched off past girlfriends
Haruko: How much time he'll be spending in prison due to bestiality charges.
TO BE CONTINUED
*With that, the four leave the theater*
*One sunny day, Excel Excel was walking down the sidewalk of F City, F Prefecture. She seemed to be a normal young lady, lost in a bizarre state of happy confusion, but there was more to her than that: Excel Excel was on a mission.*
Excel:(singing off-tune) Walking down the street.. Missions are fun.. Hatchan is goone!*She does a little twirl* I wonder why Ilplazzo wanted me to do this one without Hatchan. Now.. let's see... phase one! Go!
*Excel suddenly whips out a small gray gun, pointing it at a small girl and pulling the trigger. A net shoots out, and wraps around her. The girl screams and struggles, but cannot break free. Then, she turns it to a boy and a girl talking to each other; Two more captured, with the girl screaming out profanities that would make a sailor blush.*
Excel: (Grabbing the two nets, and pulling them with bizarre strength.) Three civilians captured! Now, into the theater!
*Excel proceeds to go into an old run-down theater. It seems extremely neglected, as if no one has stepped foot within it for a long time.*
Excel: Hm? What does Lord Ilplazzo want with these guys in this place..?
Girl inside the net: HEY! WHAT THE FUCK!! LET ME OUT OF HEAR, YOU DITZY BITCH!!!
Guy: Yeah, what she said, but with less profanity!!
Little girl: Please don't kill me and sell my body to make super soldiers or something!! I have to get to school!!
Excel: Silence, ignorant populace!! Lord Ilplazzo has ordered me to-(She suddenly feels a gun barrel on her neck.) ...Gulp.*The girl in the net has a distinctly guitar-shaped gun pointed at her. She drops the net, and Haruhara Haruko gets out. Kite follows, pointing a dagger at Excel.*
Excel: Why'd I have to pick the armed ones??
Haruko: Funny how that works out, huh? *She pushes Excel down, who lands flat on her face* Kite, get that little girl out of the net.
*Kite cuts the small girl, Mihama Chiyo, free. She gasps for air despite she had plenty of that, and tosses her plastic lunchbox at Excel, causing a large bruise on the side of her head.*
Chiyo: You crazy woman! I could miss classes now 'cause of you!
Excel: This..Isn't turning out how I planned.
*Suddenly, a massive viewscreen comes down from the ceiling, displaying on it none other than Ilplazzo. Haruko gasps at the man's sheer handsomeness.*
Haruko: What a hunk!!
Ilplazzo: Welcome, citizens.. And Excel.. To my experimentation area. *Triggered by these words, all around them, massive steel shutters slammed down on all possible walls, ceilings, and exits. Haruko moves her guitar/gun away fromE xcel, who is sufficently subdued for the time being, and fires at the shutters. There is a massive explosion.. But the wall stands, not even dented.* Those walls are solid adamantium, not even your.. extra-terrestrial.. weaponry can dent it.
Haruko: Damn... *she looks back at Illplazzo.* Well.. I'm confused as hell.. What's going on?
Excel: I have captured you in the name of Il-*Kicked by Kite* Oww!
Ilplazzo: She means Ilplazzo.. You have been captured by the great idealogical organization of ACROSS. You are all now test subjects.
Chiyo: TEST SUBJECTS?! But.. But.. I have school!!
Ilplazzo: You have worse things to worry about than being tardy.
Kite: What kind of tests are you going to run on us, you maniac?
Ilplazzo: I am going to test the limits of the human mind against stupidity.
Haruko: Why?
Ilplazzo: because I can! Your testing will take the form of watching awful fanfiction in this theater.
Haruko: Again...Why?
Ilplazzo: You're asking too many questions.... I will start the fanfic now.
haruko: I don't think so! *She grabs Excel* We have your precious soldier person hostage! Let us free or she gets it!
Ilplazzo: (Without hesitating) I don't care. She's part of the testing too.
Excel: WHAT?!?!
Ilplazzo: That was the plan from the beginning, Excel.. Think of it as a vacation. Now, everyone go to the theater.. i have a wonderful fanfiction picked out for you. When the siren goes off...
*The siren does*
Haruko: kite... I really don't wanna do this.
Kite: We have no choice.
Chiyo: i'm scared! *Incredo-cute face.*
Haruko: ...Oh.My.God. You are ADORABLE! *grabs her* Don't worry, I'll keep you safe.
Chiyo: uhh.. Okay!
*they all head into the theater, Kite carrying a dazed Excel*
Chiyo: *gulp* Well, I guess this it it..
Haruko: Since I can't break out, I guess our only hope is to wait it out...
Excel: Well, here we go! I can't say that I'm too excited, but I suppose it would be boring to sit and do nothing all day in a bland metal room so maybe this is more of a blessing than a curse well I suppose either way I'll have to persist for Ilpalazzo and ACROSS and-*rambles on*
Kite: I hope she isn't always like this...
This lemon is based on Digimon, however, it does not relate to any direct series.
Chiyo: Um... I thought he said...
Kite: I don't know. But I have a bad feeling about it...
This lemon involves adult situations and should not be viewed by anyone under the age of 18
Excel: [Announcer] Or nineteen for that matter. Or twenty. Hell, I'd say you shouldn't watch it at all.
Includes Renamon
Haruko: Oh, no.. It's the queen of furry hentai herself.
Kite: *broods*
Chiyo: Huh..? What's a hentai?
*Haruko and Kite exchange worried glances. Excel, meanwhile, looks confused*
Excel: ...Hey, are you gonna answer? What IS hentai?
and Casey Ray
Written by Casey Ray C.
CHAPTER 1
_
Haruko: Ladies an gentleman, the "Lone Hyphen".
Kite: Oh, come on, divider riffs are so cliche.
Haruko: I riff what I riff, Mr. Poofy Hat.
Ever have one of those times when you needed someone else maybe not vitally but maybe just for companionship, one of the cruelest fates you could wish on some one is for them to be alone.
Haruko: If so, call 555-YIFF-ME-PLZ
No friends, family, or loved ones, you may not believe this
Kite: But it's true. Everyone hates you!
but in order to understand how truly horrible it is you must split your self from every one and know you will never be able to get back to them again...thinking about it, its better not to believe than try it yourself and know the real pain it can cause to you…
Chiyo: Then why tell us in the first place?
Excel: Nararrators major in that during college.
A TRUE SAVIOR.
All:(singing) Our gooooddd Is an awesome god, he reeeiiigns from heaven above...
*sigh* “I remember when this all started” said Renamon to herself as a tear rolled down her cheek.
Kite: (Renamon)There was that big voice telling me about how bad it was being lonely, oh, the horror!
Chiyo: Aww, she fell through a pentagram again!
“…I was with Rika when this blinding white light came down on me and the next thing I knew I was in some strange place and Rika was nowhere to be found,” Renamon explained.
Chiyo: (Renamon) And then I was struck by another vauge thing with even vauger effects!
“Next thing I know there was another blinding light but this one was different I didn’t go back,” Said Renamon.
Haruko: Well, that IS your fault! When animals see the headlights coming, they usually get off the freeway.
A strange and loud voice boomed. “GET ON THE GROUND AND KEEP YOUR HANDS IN PLAIN SIGHT.”
Excel: The standard American welcoming proceedures for big, anthromorphic fox people.
Haruko: Or any non-caucasian for that matter.
“I was in-circled by strange cars with weird red and blue lights and men in odd uniforms all pointing guns at me,” said Renamon.
Haruko: Don't you hate it when that happens?
Excel: I'm sure it had nothing to do with the blood all over her hands
Chiyo: or the large bags of money she was carrying around.
“Just then…that’s when he showed up, the sound of a speeding motorcycle was coming closer by every second,” said Renamon.
“The motorcycle launched off and over one of the in-circling police cars, then that strange voice boomed again, HEY YOU WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!? BOTH OF YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD… NOW!”
Haruko: (booming voice) WE JUST WANT TO SEE IF YOU CAN RIDE WITHOUT TOUCHING THE HANDLEBARS!
Kite: You know, I think mister "strange, booming voice" is gonna be my favorite character.
“Heheh” *grabs his crotch and cracks his neck* “I prefer to run,” said the stranger.
Excel: (Michael Jackson) OOOH~
Haruko: Casey is a criminal of the smooth variety.
He was a rather slim and sleek looking man with short brown hair and green eyes, and tall enough to look me in the eye; he had a six foot scimitar slung in a leather sheath across his back which was barely smaller than he was, looked kind of heavy to me, he wore a olive colored tank top, blue jeans, brown steel toed boots, and a gold ring with a sapphire set into it on a chain.
Chiyo: His nose was approximately three centimeters wide at it's broadest point. His ears stuck out slightly....
Excel: He used Crest brand toothpaste.... He had not combed his hair this morning...
He looked at me with a satisfied smirk held out his hand and said; “Come with me if you want to live,”
Everyone: *Shock*
Chiyo: Wow.. The terminator? This must be a pretty high-budget fanfic.
didn’t quite trust him but what choice did I have, either him or the less likely friendly guys with guns.
I got on the bike as he unsheathed his sword and swung it in an uppercut motion and a current of air raised up from the ground and flipped two of the police cars and stunned their owners.
Chiyo: So stunned, they left their girl scout cookie boxes at the doorstep and ran home scared.
I couldn’t believe the sheer power of a single human could be so vast, I was in awe, luckily he still had hold of my hand or I would have fallen off the bike as he hit the gas and we raced down the street.
Haruko: (Renamon) In hindsight, maybe I should have just let go.
It seemed the only thing that wasn’t chasing us was the army (must have been a sick day or something) as we were heading down a main streets the police decided they were going to start shooting,
Excel: (Policeman) hey guys, should we shoot yet?
Kite: (Another policeman) Uhhhhh....Oh, fine!
said Renamon.
Haruko:(Biker guy) Are you writing a diary out loud or something?
He proved he wasn’t done amazing me yet, sword still in hand and watching the side mirror, he was changing the trajectory of the bullets to the cars tires, with the flat of his sword!
Kite: (Arnold voice) AH AHM THE SWORDMASTAH!
He cut through a street lamp which came crashing down on the following police team.
Chiyo: (Narrator)...Then immediatly stopped to apologize.
I lost balance and he grabbed me by the waist but he also took a bullet in the arm, his sword missed the bullet.
Excel: I really can't envision this scene.. Every time I try to imagine the two on the bike, I just picture two pretzles holding knives twisting around on a Power Wheels dirtbike
Haruko: You're not alone.
The sudden jolt of pain caused him to loose control of the bike.
Kite: This would prove to be his downfall for the rest of the Tour De France.
Chiyo: Oh, poor Lance, he's so brave!
The bike skidded out and burst into flames a few feet away as he threw us off. At the last second he curled protectively around me so I wasn’t hurt by the fall. (Or at least that’s what he said; he probably just wanted to fondle me. =
Haruko: I'm jealous; Renamon's inner-monolouge supports emoticons.
Kite: She must be running Linux
“Ugggh ok that hurt…don’t tell me your dead” apparently I took too long to respond and he finished with; “not after that,”
Chiyo: (Renamon) Being dead, I was easily able to follow this order.
Kite: (Motorcycle guy) I just commited assault on an officer with a deadly weapon, blew up some squad cars and caused several thousand dollars in property damage, and you're going to thank me by DYING?!
“No, just stunned, now what?
Excel: Wow, he's really on a roll today with that whole stun thing.
Chiyo: (Renamon) Nah, just paralyzed from the neck down. Nothing THAT serious.*scoffs*
Kite: Damn, Chiyo-Chan, you're pretty cold...
Chiyo: *Giggle*
They probably won’t give up so easy and we won’t get far running.” said Renamon.
Haruko: Since she obviously knows SO MUCH about where she is and the people chasing her.
Excel: Geeze, when they get that street lamp that crushed thier ribs off of them, oh boy is she in trouble...
“You don’t know much about urban survival do you?” he asked,
No why, replied Renamon?
Kite:(Motorcycle guy) Ah, jus' wonderin. I got this test tomorrow and stuff...
“Lesson #1 of urban survival training: if it isn’t yours *the guy smashes out a window of a car parked on the side of the street* make it yours. Well what do ya know the door was already unlocked,” he said with a snicker as if the blood trailing down his arm didn’t mean anything.
Haruko: (Renamon) First crotch-grabbing, now vandilism! What a man!*Swoon*
Excel: Is that what the first rule is? I always thought it was something like, "Watch yo' back"... or at least something in ebonics. I'd better take notes for Ilplazzo
I had to ask; “didn’t that hurt?”
Kite: THE TERMANATAH FEELS NOHH PAIN.
“Not half as much as the bullet did” Looking away from the street only for a moment to glance in the rear view mirror to see blue and red lights closing in,“heh think I need to pay em back” he said with an evil grimace.
Chiyo: Ah, I see. So this is what happens when you skip the bill at Apple Bees.
As a police car came up beside the car he kicked the driver’s side door free of the car and into the cop car’s door,
Excel: The police need better tactics to nab an armed and dangerous fugitive than parking the car beside them.
Kite: If they did, this wouldn't be a fanfic anymore, would it?
propping it there with his boot as a shield from bullets. In an instant he had his scimitar in his left hand slashing both tires on the cop car’s right side. The cop car swerved and spun taking out those behind it and leaving me and him a clean get away.
Haruko:(Policeman): We just want that fox chick to put some clothes on! Stop, in the name of decency!
About thirty minutes later we were out side his home, a three story mansion with a large metal gate and fence surrounding it.
Chiyo: Hah! You call that a mansion? You oughtta see my house.
Haruko: Homes of The Rich and Famous: Greasy Biker Outlaw Edition.
“Wow do you really own this place,” asked Renamon?
Kite:(Motorcycle guy) GODDAMNIT! Didn't you listen to the first rule?! I technichally own everything! Bad doggy, bad!
“I do now… the pervious owner liked fish…. So much he ended up sleeping with them,”
All:....
Excel: ...My..My lord.
Haruko: I think I knew what he meant, but...
Chiyo: I don't get it!
“WHA-” *Renamon gets cut off by Casey Ray* “That’s right we haven’t been introduced have we? My name is Casey Ray,” he said with a polite bow “and yours would be?”
Haruko: Casey Rey? Dear god! Renamon has materialized in deep wood Alabama!
Kite: (Deep southern voice) We dun get much fox-folks 'round these-'ere parts. Jus' self-insert'ation characters
I had to struggle with the words “I’m Rena-Renamon”
Excel: Looks like the struggle gave her a stutter...
Chiyo: 'Twas an epic battle.
Well Rena you probably want to get cleaned up after that excursion, bathrooms to the right bedrooms to the left. If you want I can show you around after you get cleaned up,” said Casey Ray and again he bowed before he turned to leave.
Haruko: Y'know... *thinking hard* I wonder, all of a sudden, if anyone notices the fact that Renamon is quite obviously a large, yellow, bipedial ninja fox?
Kite: *Gasp of horror* Haru-san!
Haruko: Sorry.
Kite:Thinking logically like that, geeze...that's crossing the line.
“Give me a call when you get hungry I’ll throw something together for us…
Excel: (Casey) Yeah, I usually just toss whatever I find into a pot and set it on fire.. Gets the job done, y'know?
or we could go out for dinner,”
All:(Family Feud) Good answer! Good answer!
said Casey Ray with that same pleased smirk as before.
After a quick shower I slipped into a bathrobe and went off to look for him.
Haruko: If I had to guess, he's probably far, far away from the killer anthromorph wearing the bathrobe.
Excel: (Casey) Oh, geeze, c'mon! You're getting fur all in it...
When I finally found him he was out in the back yard, which was divided into two branches from the hall one half was a shooting range with a arrangement of shooting equipment and a dirt pile at the back to catch the slugs.
Chiyo: While Casey Ray may have a weaponry fetish, he spends most of his spare time catching and training a garden slug circus!
Kite: I have a whole new respect for the guy.
Haruko: Hey, he was talking about bullets, kids.
The other half was a garden, green and lush with flowers and spices and various trees
Chiyo: See! He really is a good guy!
Haruko: I'd bet ten dollars that spice is slang for "crack/cocain", kid.
Chiyo: But-
Haruko: Stop arguing with me. *Lights up a cigarette. Chiyo crosses her arms in frustration*
but in the center was a clearing, a ring where only grass and a boom box stood
Chiyo: Beatbox time!*Others start making beatbox noises. Excel breakdances on the theater floor*
and there he was in the middle practicing with his sword he had used earlier that day he didn’t hear me come in because he had the stereo pumped and was singing to the song (actually he wasn’t that bad either).
Excel:(Casey Singing, badly) My RIVAL! Dagger in my HAND!
Kite: (Also singing badly) Grabbed him by the collar! I just- *Whapped by Haruko* Owww!
*Renamon sneaks up on Casey Ray while he’s practicing
Chiyo: And slits his throat stealthiy. The end.
Kite: *Eyes Chiyo nervously*
Excel: The narrarators include Renamon as well as Casey Ray's cousin Billy Joel, watching down on them from the trees.
Haruko: (Singing) Where are.. The quotes? Send in... The quotes!
and scares the living hell of him. His sword goes backwards, cuts open the bath robe she slips and falls on top of Casey Ray*
Kite:(Narrator) Revealing absolutely -nothing- because Renamon is always naked anyway and nevertheless still suitable for a children's television show.
(such a shame huh ;) )
Chiyo: (Narrator) Tee hee... Come on, giggle darn you!!! GIGGLE!!!!
“Well that could have gone worse,” said Casey Ray with a wry smile.
Haruko:(Casey) Yeah, I could accidently sliced off your bathrobe and- Woah, HELLO!
*Renamon blushes* *SMACK* “….pervert,”
Kite: Renamon bites the hand that gropes.
replied Renamon turned around with a wry smile of her own this time.
“Eh I’ve been called a lot worse
Kite:(Casey) This one time, a guy had the balls to call me "Big Fat Baby-Eatin' Mormon Mcgee". Rest assured HE went home limping.
and you can’t tell me you didn’t think the same thing can you?
Excel:(Renamon)I didn't think the same thing.
No, you can’t deny it but you won’t admit it either then will you?” asked Casey Ray. “It’s ok though I already know the answer.”
Chiyo: Abraham Lincoln! Mount Rushmore! Ryan O'Bryant's socks!
Kite: BZZZZT! I'm sorry, the correct answer was, "WHAT IS Ryan O'Bryant's socks?"
*Casey Ray walks over to Renamon puts his arms around her waist
Haruko:(Casey) Prepare yourself for my full-nelson slam, vixen she-devil!
and kisses her then walks over to the door*
“See,” asked Casey Ray?
Chiyo: ...What was she supposed to see?
Excel: Maybe he was proving to her that she wouldn't crumble to dust if their lips made contact. I'm sure a lot of women make that mistake around Casey.
“No… not really perhaps you need to show me,” said Renamon fondling Casey Ray’s balls though his jeans.
Excel: ..Or so she attempted, yet found a suspicious lack of any such substance.
Kite:(Casey) Hehe.. I taught her that one.
Chiyo: What kind of balls?? Are they going to play a game? Why are you covering my eyes, Harusan?
Haruko: *lazily smoking*Don't worry about it, Chiyo-chan.
Then he said something I wasn’t prepared for…
Excel: (Casey) Sorry, I'm sexually attracted to soap bars.
he said “moving a bit fast aren’t we? We should wait, after all we just met.”
Haruko: This man only goes fast in two places: On the road, and in bed.
Chiyo: What's that supposed to mean? I'm so confuuussed!
Even though I know now he was just playing hard to get at the time I thought heh felt he was too good for me…
Excel: Or maybe... He's not into that whole "beastiality" thing? maybe? Possibly?
“Fine if you want to play that game here comes the ace of spades…”
Excel: That's the cheesiest "whip it out" line I've ever heard.. And I've played Lord Ilplazzo's dating sims.
Chiyo: Why aren't you guys's jokes making sense anymore? Somebody tell me what's going on!!
Kite: Don't worry, Chiyo.. I have a feeling you'll probably find out before this fic is over.
Epilogue
Excel: It's over already? Whew! And I collected lots of data on the ignorant masses today!
In the fallowing months after Rena moved in Casey and Rena-
Kite: Ahh, the classic love triangle.. A foxgirl, a boy, and the foxgirl's clone.
though she seemed to put up a could shoulder toward him - became real close he taught her how to shoot, several different stances to use both in shooting and in close-quarters combat, even work on cooking…
Chiyo: And that's all in this wonderful knife we're selling here for only 54.99!
with a few disastrous attempts.
Haruko: Luckily, she only shot herself once though.
Excel: What do you mean, "luckily"?
Casey told her some of his past but seemed very selective of what parts like he was hiding something…
Excel: On the next episode: Casey's dark past of as a Holiday Inn bellhop, revealed in entireity!!
but little did she know just how much…
Kite: How much nonsense was in store for her.
Excel: How much money Casey had mooched off past girlfriends
Haruko: How much time he'll be spending in prison due to bestiality charges.
TO BE CONTINUED
*With that, the four leave the theater*