Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Never Been Kissed ❯ Never Been Kissed. ( Prologue )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

NEVER BEEN KISSED



NEVER BEEN KISSED.

"So, how are old are you Matt?" the girl filing my nails--one of Mimi's school friends--asked.
"He's sixteen," Mimi answered. "Tai, if I have to tell you again to stop moving--"
"Aww," the girls chorused.
I grimaced, knowing what was to come.
"Sweet sixteen and never been kissed."
In spite of myself I flushed. I hated that.
"Looks like someone's blushing," Sora said, amused.
"I'm not," I said. "It's just hot in here." I poked Tai. "Want to go outside and get some air?"
Tai opened his mouth.
"He can't," Mimi said. "Not until I finish painting his nails."
Tai gave me an apologetic look. I sighed. I knew hanging round the girls at Mimi's birthday party would be a bad idea, but Tai was hungry and they had all the food--somehow we'd been talked into letting them play with make-up on us.
'I haven't finished yours--" the girl hanging onto my arm protested as I stood.
"Yeah, well, I'm bored of this," I said, looking outside to where Izzy and Joe were watching Cody, TK and Davis playing with their digimon.
"Could it be," Kari said, with that precision of hers, "that the reason you're so eager to leave us Matt, is that it's true?"
I went red.
"No way!" Tai said. "You, never been kissed?"
"The lead singer of teenage wolves?"
"Incredible," the girls and Tai cracked up.
I gritted my teeth. "This isn't funny."
"Relax, Matt. There's a lot of people who haven't been kissed," Sora said. "Hands up who has been kissed."
About a third of the group left their hands down.
"See?" said Sora.
I was more interested in the fact that Tai had raised his hand. "When did you get kissed?"
"And how come I didn't know about it?" Kari demanded.
"It's no big deal," Tai said defensively. "You know behind the soccer changing rooms?"
I didn't but Sora nodded. "Yeah--it's where couples go to make out," she explained to Kari and Yolei.
"Tai!" Kari said.
"Well, I didn't know that, and I remarked to Scotty that it was odd the number of girls that seemed to be taking up soccer, and after he'd finished laughing at me he suggested I go and see what they were doing. There were three girls waiting for their boyfriends' match to finish and they decided I would be a nice way to pass the time--" Tai shrugged. "Then their boyfriends showed up and hung me up by the back of my shirt in the changing rooms and I almost missed our match."
"You can't do anything the normal way, can you?" Sora said, as the rest of us stopped laughing and wiped away tears.
"I don't get how on earth someone like Matt doesn't get kissed. I mean, you had Jun stalking you for ages--"
"Did you really think I would have kissed her?" I shuddered.
"Well, I think it time we did something about this," Mimi said. "I vote we find someone to kiss Matt."
I sweated. "That's not really necessary, Mimi--"
"Nonsense. It's my party, I insist," I sweated some more. "Now then--how are we going to decide who kisses Matt in a fair and unbiased way?"
"Spin the bottle!"
I sweated. I really had to get out of here--
"Oh no you don't--" Sora tackled me. "Help me!"
Assisted by Yolei and others of Mimi's friends, I was shoved into the bathroom.
"Don't even think of trying to get out!" I was told. "We'll be here, waiting for you!"
"Mimi! You're supposed to be my friend!" I whined. The only response was a lot of giggles.
I sighed, sitting back on the bathroom counter.
I noticed the bathroom mirror and took out my comb, putting my hair back into order. I thought about the kiss. Sure it would be embarrassing but I supposed it had benefits too.
After all, I'd never have to blush at that annoying rhyme ever again, and well, I'd always been curious.
My hair arranged to my satisfaction, I settled back to wait.
It seemed to be taking them an awfully long time to pick someone--I absently began wiping the make-up I'd let the girls put on me earlier off.
I'd just finished that when I heard the door behind me open. I turned to see who it was and the light got flicked off abruptly, leaving me blind in the darkness.
"Um," I said.
There was a pause and then I heard a footstep come closer to me. A hand brushed my shoulder, then my hair, obviously trying to work out where I was.
"Wouldn't it be easier to turn on the light--" I started.
I got interrupted as my shirt collar was seized and I was pulled downwards. I felt a warm pressure against me and warm breath tickled my cheeks. We stayed like that for a moment, and then warm lips connected with mine, easily taking control of my mouth. I couldn't resist a moan at the sensations that contact elicited, and welcomed the hands wrapping themselves around my neck. As the kiss became two, and our tongues brushed, I reached out to pull our bodies closer, only to have the kiss broken off.
The only sound in the bathroom was us, trying to regain our breath. Then I put up a hand to brush her face.
"That was . . . incredible," I said, with as much suavity as I could muster. "Anytime you want to do that again, just let me know."
She took another long breath and then pulled away from me.
"Hey," I said, trying to pull her back. "Don't I even get to know who you are--"
The bathroom door opened as she made her escape. I cursed. Whoever it was had been foresighted enough to turn the hall light off so I still had no idea of who had just kissed me--
I sighed as I turned the light on again and redid my hair. I had to prepare to face Mimi and the others again.
The girls all watched me as I came back and silently took my place again.
"Well?" Mimi said. "How was it?"
"It was all right, I guess," I said.
"Now, that won't do. We want to know everything!" Sora said and the girls smirked. Tai gave me a sympathetic look from the bowl of popcorn he'd comandeered.
"Was it romantic?"
"Did you use tongues?"
"Any feeling?"
In spite of my best intentions I was pinker than Mimi's hair. "You expect me to tell you that?"
"Yes!"
I sweated. Then I had an idea--"Fine. I'll tell you--provided you tell me who kissed me."
The girls looked at each other. "We promised we wouldn't."
"But--"
"A promise is a promise," Kari said. "Let's let this go."
"I guess you're right," Mimi sighed then brightened. "Matt, you lost your makeup--we'll have to do redo you--"
"No thanks, Mimi," I said. "I have a sudden desire to go and reassert my masculinity. Tai, do you want to come throw Davis in the pool?"
"Sounds good to me," Tai said. "Hey!" We had to run away as the girls started chucking pillows at us.

Patamon was puffed from playing with Veemon and wandered over to collapse on my foot. I patted him, smiling as I watched Veemon pounce Davis (did he ever run out of energy?), as Izzy and Joe discussed something beside me--they'd lost me ages ago.
Tai and Matt were headed this way--something about them made me try and flatten myself against the ground--hey, you don't be a brother for thirteen years without learning to pick up the warning signs.
"Hey Davis," Tai said casually. "How good are those clothes you're wearing?"
"These old things?" Davis shrugged. "They were the first thing I could find. Hey, what are you--put me down! Matt! Tai! Put me DOWN! Veemon, do something! Help!"
Izzy and Joe stopped their conversation to watch Davis get carried away.
"Five dollars say they throw him in the pool," Joe said.
"Ten dollars says Tai gets drenched at some stage," Izzy said.
"Fifteen dollars says Matt pushes him in," I said, hoping I had fifteen dollars.
"Quiet now--" Izzy put up a hand.
There was one splash, followed a few seconds by a howl from Davis.
"So far so good," Joe said, punctuated by another splash.
I crossed my fingers. Please big brother don't let me down--
"Matt, you toad!"
Thank-you, brother, thank-you.
Joe and Izzy sighed. "I'm afraid I'll have to owe you," Izzy said as Joe gave me the money. "The internet account came in this week and my parents are insisting I pay for the hours of overtime I used--"
"No problem," I said.
Matt came and sat down by us.
"Is Davis all right?" Veemon asked anxiously.
"Sure. He and Tai are having a waterfight--you might want to go and join in."
"Waterfight's are fun!" Patamon said enthusiastically. "TK, you wanna join in?"
"No, but you and Veemon go ahead," I smiled. Something was up with my brother. Usually getting two people thoroughly soaking wet and annoyed with him would put him in a pretty smug mood but he seemed . . . distracted.
"What's up?"
"Oh," he sighed. "Nothing."
"Right," I said.
"Actually, maybe there is. You want to do me a favour?"
"Depends."
"Do you want to get thrown into the pool?"
I thought about this. Matt was bigger and stronger, and Patamon had gone--"What's the favor?"
"It's quite simple. Ah, let's go over there."
Matt dragged me out of earshot of Joe and Izzy--"It's--well, kind of embarrassing really."
"You can tell me," I said gleefully.
Matt looked at me skeptically then decided he had no alternatives. "Okay, you know how girls get? All giggly and girly and stuff?"
"Yeah," I said uncertainly.
"Well, they decided to put me in the bathroom and someone came in and I don't know who it was but its very important I know and they won't tell me but if you can get Kari or Yolei to tell you I will be eternally grateful."
"That makes absolutely no sense," I said.
"Please TK? Do it for your older brother?"
He had just made me 15 dollars. "I guess I could."
"Thanks, I--Tai, what are you doing with that waterbomb?"
"This waterbomb?" Tai grinned evilly, my cue to get as far away from Matt as possible. "I'll give you three guesses."
"This is a good shirt! You wouldn't!" Matt backed away.
Tai's grin deepened. "You're right. I'm only doing this to distract you while Davis sneaks up behind you with the hose--Now Davis!"
"Waaah! Stop it!"
I took the opportunity to head inside. "Mimi, I hope your parents won't mind if they come home to find most of your garden is underwater," I said as I sat down between Kari and Yolei.
"Oh, my parents probably won't notice," Mimi said. "TK, you know I've got an eyeshadow that would compliment your eyes perfectly."
"Um, no thanks," I said.
Yolei smiled. "Not as adventurous as your brother and Tai?"
"Probably not as hungry," Kari said.
"You put make-up on Matt?" I shrugged. Was that what this was all about?
Still Mimi's attention had gone back to her friends--this was probably a good moment to ask Kari what Matt wanted to know.
"Is there anything else you girls did to Matt that I should know about?"
Kari and Yolei cracked up.

"Well?" Matt said.
It was much later. He, Tai and Davis were sitting around in towels waiting for their clothes to come out of the dryer. Well Matt was. Davis were trying to explain to Veemon why getting in the dryer would not be a good idea, and Tai was in the shower.
"You know," I said. "There was a lot of things you forgot to mention when you gave me this job. Like the whole fact that you got kissed--"
Matt gritted his teeth. "It's no big deal, TK."
"If that's so, why do you want to find out who kissed you so much?"
"I just do. Did they tell you?"
"No. Kari and Yolei said that they'd been sworn to secrecy. They also said that you'd probably feel better not knowing who kissed you--"
"Why would I feel that?" Matt frowned. "Unless . . . you think it was one of the digi-destined?"
"Would that be a bad thing?"
"It would if it was Kari," Matt said. "Or Yolei."
"It wasn't. That was my next question."
"Well, I know it wasn't Mimi," Matt said. "She wasn't wearing that strawberry flavored lip balm."
I looked at him.
"You know what kind of lip-balm she wears?"
"I was her guinea pig this afternoon," Matt sighed. "Thanks a lot, Tai."
"You're welcome," Tai said. "Bathroom's yours if you want it."
"Why don't you just ask Tai?" I said.
"Tai?" Matt said.
"Yeah?"
"Who kissed me?"
"I have to go, I need to phone my parents--"
"Tai, you want to go into a room full of girls only wearing a towel?"
Tai thought about it. "Damm."
"That's right, you're trapped." Matt grabbed one of Tai's arms and twisted it back. "Now, tell me."
"Ow! Stop it!"
"Tell me!" Matt pushed Tai down. Tai managed to get one in a couple of kicks and then Matt swatted him with a pillow and an all-out fight developed.
"Don't just stand there, TK--help me!" Tai yelled.
"No way--you're my brother!" Matt said. "Help me."
I snickered. "I wish I had a camera--nearly naked Matt sitting on nearly naked Tai--can you imagine how much I could blackmail you both for?"
"Hey--don't even joke about that!" Matt said, scrambling away from Tai. "Don't TK--"
"Okay," I said surprised. My brother seemed unusually uptight for a simple joke like that--Tai seemed to think so to, judging from his expression.
"Tai, just tell us. Who kissed me?"
"I can't tell you," Tai said.
"Come on. You're my best friend--"
"Matt, I think you'd rather not know."
"Some friend," Matt sulked.
"That's exactly what Kari said."
"Yeah, well Kari's smart," Tai shrugged. "I'm going to see how our clothes are coming along."
"I guess that's it," I said to Matt. "Get over it."

That was easy for him to say.
However it appeared to be my only option.
A week later, when I found myself still thinking about the kiss, I had to admit I had a problem.
"Sora, can I eat lunch with you?"
Sora looked surprised. The girls she was eating with giggled and whispered. I added "Alone."
"What's this about?" she asked. "Why aren't you eating with Tai like you normally do?"
"I need help with something and Tai isn't being very co-operative."
"Well, what is it?"
I told her.
"Matt, it's really not my place to say--"
"Sora, I have to know!"
"Why do you have to know?"
"Because--" I sigh. "Okay, maybe I don't have any experience with kisses but that was incredible. I have to know who that was--"
"Was it really all that great? Maybe it was just the whole first kiss thing--"
I shook my head. "Um, I've tried it," I said blushing. "With other girls, and they have nothing on whoever kissed me--"
"What made it different?" Sora said.
"It just was. It was exciting and warm, and every time I think of it, I just want more--"
"You're pretty serious about this," Sora sounded concerned.
"I haven't been able to get it out of my mind," I confessed. "I need her--please, Sora, you have to tell me who she was."
"I can't tell you, Matt, but if you think about what it was, you might be able to figure it out--"
I thought about it. "Um, let's see . . . she was very, um, strong, direct--she took control and I liked that. I don't like when girls always act so shyly around me."
"Anything else?" Sora said. Her face was carefully blank.
"Kind of. She smelled of something I can't quite place, a sort of um, gingery type scent. It was very distinct, not like roses, or anything like that."
"Nothing else?" Sora sighed. "How was it different when you kissed other girls?"
"They were all kind of floppy and letting me be in charge and it didn't work. With her, I felt like we were equals--"
"Matt, I've got an idea. Why don't we try the kiss, and then we'll see if you can't figure it out--"
"Was it you? Because you could have just said--"
"It wasn't me," Sora sighed. "I can think of only one way to make you see it."

"Behind the soccer changing rooms?" I looked at Sora. "You know what people are going to say if they see us here."
"Let them say what they want," Sora shrugged. "At least we're unlikely to get disturbed. Now, how did she put her arms?"
"They went around my neck, kind of like this . . ." I looped Sora's arms around my neck. "This has to be one of the weirdest moments of my life."
"Even weirder than getting turned into a doll?"
I thought about that. "Actually, yes."
"Now, go on," Sora said. "What did you do--leaving out the actual kissing part."
"I think I put my arms around her like this--no, that doesn't work."
"Why not?"
"Well, your, uh, chest is in the way--"
"And you didn't have this problem before?"
The way Sora is staring at me--this is obviously very important and she wants me to pick up on something--I wonder what it--oh.
Hell.
"Um, I have to go," I said to Sora, and hurried away.
A little later, locked in a stall in the boys' bathroom I thought about it. The urge to yell at people had subsided, and all I really wanted to know was if it was true or not. Tai obviously wasn't going to tell me--so how could I find out?
He had soccer practice after school.
That might work.

It did.
While Tai was playing soccer I snuck into the changing rooms. His bag had to be around here somewhere--
"Since when do you play soccer?"
"Uh--Hi Davis!" I said brightly. "Um, I don't. I'm just looking for Tai's stuff."
"It's over there," Davis trailed after me as I found his bag.
"What are you doing?"
"What are YOU doing?"
He had me there. I scowled. "Shouldn't you be playing soccer or something?"
"I got sent off." Davis said. "Um, why are you smelling his school shirt?"
"It's no business of yours," I stuffed Tai's shirt back into his bag and left.
I had what I needed to know.
I walked around for a bit, aimlessly, then went home. The phone was ringing as I got in the door.
"Hello?"
"Matt--Sora told me about your talk, and then after what Davis told me just before--I think we need to talk--"
"Forget it!" I snapped at him. "I'm not talking to you ever again!"
I slammed the phone down.
Funnily enough it didn't make me feel better.

I stared at the pay phone then put the receiver back.
"What happened?" Davis asked.
"He's mad at me," I said. "Why not? He's got every right--"
"But you guys are like, best friends," Davis insisted.
"Not anymore," I sighed. I pick up my soccer bag and head back to our apartment.
Davis follows me. "Tai?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you smile a little bit? You're starting to scare me--I've never seen you so depressed."
"Davis--I am depressed."
"Oh."
We got into the elevator. "Um, you are going to be all right, aren't you?" Davis said. "I mean, not that I think you're not capable of taking care of yourself or anything but--"
"You don't have to worry about me," I told him. "I'll be fine."
It wasn't entirely a lie. I was sure I could make it true--just give me time.
Time and I would get over loosing my best friend.
Because that was the only thing that could happen now, wasn't it?
No, it was not!
Stupid Matt!" I said. "If he thinks he's going to get away that easily--"
"Um, Tai?" Davis sounded worried.
"I'm not about to let him wreck a perfectly good friendship," I informed Davis. "I just have to make him listen to me."
"Now you sound like you again?" Davis grinned. "So, what are you going to do?"
That was the difficult part. "I don't know--" Why did Matt have to be so difficult?

I think I tried phoning Matt for half an hour straight, only to have the phone ignored. Either that or he'd pulled it out of the wall--I eventually decided that wasn't going to work.
"Mum, I'm going over to Matt's house," I said.
"But you'll be late for tea."
"This is important," I insisted.
"Fine. I'll keep yours in the oven."
I walked over to the Ishida's apartment very slowly--I was rather dreading our conversation. I had to make Matt listen to me, but I was unsure what to say.
As it turned out I need not have worried.
Matt answered the door then basically slammed the door in my face.
"Stop avoiding me you moron!" I yelled at him, deciding belatedly that insulting him was probably not the best way to make him stop being mad at me. "This is really important!"
There was no response from the other side of the door. I sighed and opened my schoolbag. I found a blank page in my exercise book and began to write:

Matt--

You're my best friend. More than a best friend, even--we've been through so much stuff together in and out of the digital world that I don't think there's anyone in the world that I would trust more, or do more for. That's why even though you're acting like a jerk at the moment, not letting me explain, I'm not giving up on you. You're friendship is that important to me, even though you are a stupid git at times.

Having got that off my chest, I sucked my pen thoughtfully. How to continue?

Anyway, the kiss. I could say that the girls forced me into it, and to tell the truth when the bottle stopped on me I was ready to run. But they sort of threatened me, and I could of run but I didn't--I'd been wondering what it might be like to kiss you, you see. I sort of have this crush on you, you see--

There was no 'sort-of' about it.

--and, while I was never going to tell you, (It's pretty obvious you like girls, and I didn't want to do anything that might wreck our friendship) when the opportunity came to find out what it would be like to kiss you without you knowing (at least that was the idea), well, I took it. I never meant you to take it so seriously--

Although what Sora had told me about what Matt had said about it was pretty flattering.

-- I just saw it as an opportunity to test my feelings for you, see if was the lure of the unattainable or love.

Love? I looked at the word and groaned. Why'd I decided to write in pen? If I crossed it out, Matt would still know what I'd written--I decided to leave it and continue.

Matt, I never meant for you to get hurt. I'm sorry you got so worked up about this--it must look to you as if I don't care about your feelings at all, but that's not true. I never considered the possibility that it would be anything more than a brief embarrassment to you, and now I'm really worried I'll loose you as a friend. Hell, you probably think I'm some gay version of June--

Extremely scary thought.

--and all I want to do is jump you. Well, GET OVER IT!

I paused a moment then underlined that twice.

--I've had this crush on you for almost nine months now, and I haven't let it show before. If it bothers you that much, I'll just pretend it never happened. You must know that I'd never intentionally hurt you, and that means I wouldn't do stuff that made you feel uncomfortable either. So don't be an idiot. Please don't ruin our friendship over something this stupid. When you've read this and calmed down a bit, phone me and we'll talk it through.

I hope he'd read it. I could just see him ripping it up--

Yours sincerely,
Taichi Kamiya,
Your best friend.

I ripped the page out of my book, folded it in half and wrote, 'Matt, please read this and don't rip it up! It's IMPORTANT!' in big letter's. Then I pushed in under the door, knocked again and ran away.

"Matt?"
"Yeah?" I said, answering my father.
He came into my room with a piece of paper. "This was pushed under the door. It looks like it's from Tai."
"So?"
My father gave me the trademark 'confused-parent' sigh. "A note from your best friend and you're not even going to read it?"
"Tai's not my best friend," I said.
"Since when?"
"Since today."
My father shook his head. "Matt, Tai and you have been friends for so long. You can't mean that."
"But I do. Stop going on about it."
"Did you two have a fight?"
"No. He was just being a jerk," I folded my arms.
"Well, it looks like he's trying to apologize. Aren't you going to listen to him?"
"No."
"Just incidentally, is this the reason why the phone is pulled out of the wall?"
"Maybe."
My father sighed again. "Come on, Matt. Tai obviously feels bad about whatever it is he's done. Don't you think you owe it to your friendship to read his letter?" He held out the letter to me. I took it.
"Our friendship," I said, screwing it up into a tight ball and tossing it in my bin. "Is over."
"Matt--" my father shook his head and retrieved the letter. "When you're ready to think about this, ask me for the letter, okay? Until then, I'll keep this safe."
I just grunted. There was no way I was asking for that letter.

Tai seemed to have decided to stay away from me. Which suited me just fine. Of course it meant that I had to find a new partner in class--easy. A lot of people liked me. I might even be improving my grades--Tai and I usually produced more fun than actual results.
I looked over to where Tai was working with his new partner--a friend from his soccer team. They were already laughing about something--I shrugged, turning back to my partner, a very pretty girl who I'd seen in the front row at my concerts.
"You know what we're supposed to be doing?"

"What are we having for dinner?" My father said, slipping into his in-house slippers.
"Just stuff."
"You haven't made up with Tai then?"
"I'm not going to be friends with him, ever again."

It was surprising, in how many ways Tai not being my friend affected me. I found myself getting through entire meals without having to stop to protect my food from being stolen. I had time to do my homework. I could hang out with the other members of my band at school, read the piles of fan mail shoved into my locker, even acquire a girlfriend.

"How is Tai?"
"I wouldn't know."
My father sighed. "This is getting old, Matt."
"So?"

At the end of the second week I realised something else. I was bored, and I was lonely. I was beginning to think maybe there was a difference between people who liked you and people who were your friends.
"You know," my father said sticking his head in my room. "I have to go and deliver some papers to a colleague at Highton terrace. If you want, I can give you a lift to the Kamiya's."
"Forget it."

Sora cornered me at school. "Matt, this has got to stop."
"What?"
"Don't pretend you don't know what this is about."
"Tai and me are not friends."
"Matt--how can you say that?" Sora stared at me in frustration. "How many times did you save his life--did he save yours? Can you honestly say that means nothing anymore?"
"I--" I'd not thought of that. "Things change Sora. People change."
"Not this much." Sora said. "Don't you miss him, even a little?"
"Nope."
Sora folded her arms and looked at me. Full in the eyes so I couldn't look away. "He misses you. He's miserable."
"Not my problem."
Whack!
I put a hand up to my cheek in shock.
Sora just hit me?
She looked as surprised as me but her eyes quickly narrowed.
"You Matt Ishida, are being a jerk. Don't you get it? Tai is your friend, he cares about you, he would do anything for you--don't let that go just because you're scared!"
She turned to leave.
"Who are you calling scared?" I demanded, trying to take control of the situation.
"You."
"I'm not afraid--"
"Then why are you acting like you are? I mean, you didn't dislike Tai until after the kiss--which means either you're homophobic or afraid that if you're friends with Tai people will pick on you or you're afraid of yourself--"
"Not so loud!" I hissed--people were starting to watch.
"Which is it, Matt?" Sora turned away from me again. "I've got to get to class."
"Wait--" I grabbed her arm. "Sora, can I talk to you a moment privately?"

"The soccer changing rooms again?" Sora folded her arms and looked at me. "When your new girlfriend finds out about this she is going to dump you."
"So, I'll get another. Um, you wouldn't be interested--"
Sora just stared at me. "You have got a lot to learn about girlfriends. Why this sudden interest anyway? You were perfectly happy being single before--" She blinked. "Oh, I get it--this is some sort of desperate 'I'm not like Tai' thing--"
"It is not," I said.
"No, you've just developed a sudden interest in a girl who two weeks ago you didn't even know her name totally coincidentally--"
"Okay, so maybe you're right, maybe I am scared," I sat down and sighed. "Can you honestly say that this doesn't bother you at all?"
"What's there to be bothered about?" Sora sat down beside me. "Tai's still Tai whoever he kisses."
"But this--" I shook my head. "How can he be my friend and not tell me he wanted to kiss me--"
"When did you find out that?" Sora frowned.
"Uh--I kind of assumed it. That kiss--" I looked at Sora. "When did you find out?"
"Tai's been on the phone to me almost constantly this week." Sora sighed. "You two have to be friends again or my parents are taking away my phone privileges."
"Is that an ultimatum, Sora?"
"You bet it is," Sora laughed.
"So," I sighed again. "He wanted that kiss--well, finding out that someone you've always taken for granted and trusted and never thought about that, wants to kiss you--can I help it if that makes me feel uncomfortable? He should have told me!"
"He should have, but he didn't because he thought this would happen."
"Oh."
I guess Tai really does know me. Well, we have been friends for ages--"Wait a minute---Tai thought?"
Sora thwapped me. "Get out of here."

My father came home.
"That smells good. What is it?"
"Just a casserole. Some stuff I found in the freezer. Along with TK's science project, I might add. Do you know when that was due?"
"No."
"A week ago," I put the casserole on the table. "He's going to be furious."
"I'm sure he will." My father began to eat.
I waited.
"So."
"Is this apple?"
"Yeah, I saw it on a cooking show once. Um, isn't there something you want to ask me?"
"What were you doing watching cooking shows?"
"No," I sighed. "Aren't you going to harass me about reading that stupid letter?"
"What stupid letter? Oh, you mean Tai's letter--"
"Well, if you're going to keep nagging me about it I suppose I could be forced to look at it. Just to keep you happy."
My father patted me on the shoulder. "I knew you'd come round. I'll just go and get it."
He didn't comment when I took my meal into my room to read the letter.

"Seventeen days!" I told Meko. "It's been seventeen days and he still won't talk to me."
Meko mewed. I picked her up and scratched behind her ears.
"I knew you'd understand," I said. "You're the only one who listens to me--Sora's parents aren't letting her use the phone on week nights and Izzy keeps wanting me to visit an online shrink. Joe's got a test and Mimi left the country. Kari--"
"Sympathises but would like to hear something else than 'why won't Matt phone me?' 24/7," Kari said travelling past the door.
"Hey!" I dumped Meko. "That's your good jacket. Where are you going, in your good jacket, on a school night?"
"None of your business," Kari said, going into the kitchen. I followed suspicious--yup, she was looking at her hair in the microwave oven window.
"TK?" I said.
"Maybe."
"He might know why Matt hasn't phoned--"
"Tai, I asked him already at school today. He says he hasn't seen that much of Matt lately."
Meko stalked past me. I picked her up, rubbing her chin to make up for my rudeness before. "Maybe you could ask him to find out."
"Ask him yourself," Kari picked up her keys. "Mum, I'm going now!"
"Have fun studying!" Our mother called.
I looked at my sister. "Studying? Mimi could come up with a better excuse."
"For your information," Kari said, going pink. "We happen to be studying for a biology test."
"Not the human type I hope," I said following her downstairs.
"Tai! Go away!"
"And miss this? What kind of big brother would that make me?"
"One with a life expectancy of more than five minutes! Go!"
"Hi Kari, hi Tai. Um," TK was a pale rose colour. "You look nice."
I followed his gaze to my sister, blushing in her jacket. "Thanks," I said. "It just comes naturally."
They both blinked at me.
There was a low chuckle. "Trademark Kamiya humour. I've missed that."
I couldn't believe it. "Matt? What are you doing here?"
"Giving TK a lift. I thought the drive might give me a chance to settle my thoughts." Matt shrugged in the direction of the car. "Why don't you two get in the car? I need to talk to Tai."
I held Meko tightly as they left us alone. "So--"
"So, uh . . ." Matt ran a hand through his hair looking awkwardly at a point just above me feet.
"Where's the girl?" I said, deciding not to break the ice but to pulverise it.
"What?"
"The girl. You know," I said crossing the distance between us. "You must have one stashed around here somewhere--isn't that your current accessory of choice?"
"Yeah, the girls," Matt shrugged, playing my game. "No superstar in training would be seen dead without one."
I snicker. "Or two."
Matt smiled. "Or two. Tai," he broke off, running a hand through his hair again. "I'm sorry about this."
"You've messed it all up--" Without thinking I put my hand out to right the ruffled fringe.
He starts at the contact.
Meko mewed unhappily as I stepped back. "I'm sorry--I didn't I think, I--Dammit Matt, if I make you feel this uncomfortable, maybe we should forget our friendship--" I turn to go up the steps. Matt's hand on my arm stops me.
"No--no, wait Tai." Matt takes a deep breath. " Our friendship is important to me too. It just took me awhile to realise that--and now that I have--" He let go of my arm, noticing then that he was still holding onto it. "We shouldn't forget it. I mean, it may be weird for a while and it won't be the same as it was before but, well, things change--"
"I guess," I said.
The car horn bleared.
"Shut up TK!" Matt yelled. "I've got to drop him back home. You don't want to come, do you? We could take the car out afterwards, maybe go somewhere and talk."
"That sounds good," I said following him to the car. "What?"
He was giving me this funny look. "Do you really want to bring the cat?"
"Oh." I looked at Meko. "You want to come?"
Meko gave me a look of disgust in that way that only cats can and wriggled out of my arms.
"She doesn't like cars," I said in explanation.
Matt just shook his head.

"Thanks Matt,"
"I owe you, big brother," I smiled as TK and Kari left.
"Make sure you actually do some studying!" Tai called after them.
"TAI!!"
We shared a big brotherly laugh.
"You think they'll actually get together?" I said as I backed out of the apartment parking lot.
"Who knows? They're thirteen. They're still at the embarrassed stage--come to think of it, when does that stage end?"
"Probably never," I sighed and made a turn.
"Where are we going?"
"Somewhere nice where we can talk properly."

"The soccer changing rooms?" Tai looked at me.
"Yeah," I said.
"But . . . the soccer changing rooms?" Tai shook his head. "This is where you've brought me to talk?"
"Tai," I sighed. "People don't generally come here to talk."
He stared at me.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair and all. "Yes, I know. I thought I liked girls too, but, after reading your letter last night and thinking about what your friendship really meant to me, I realised you're almost more than a friend already. And the kiss--well before I found out it was you and got freaked by that, it was actually kind of exciting--and Sora made me realise that I wasn't that frightened of you as the way you made me feel and I was afraid--" I looked up at Tai. "Do you see?"
He looked at me. "No--could you start over? I think I lost you."
I stared him down. "Tai--just kiss me."
"Oh," He grinned. "Okay."

End. Aw.